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Episode 40: Experts: Straight Man Willing To Accept Blowjob From Another Man For $700

Team YMMV | 10-21-2021 | 1:07:14

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This is for certain definitions of the word "experts," which we absolutely are. This episode will make you better or worse at sex, or possibly both, if you're a man.

If you're a woman, it will apparently reliably enrage you. Why do you listen then? "To hear what they'll say next."

Actually, according to Spotify, something like 46 percent of our audience is trans. The rest are men and "decline to state." So if you're a female and listening to this podcast, you don't actually exist.

So, why do we do this at all? Because we can. We're not repressed sexually. And, importantly, we also have all our wits about us, unlike those of you who think you can sweep aside gender roles produced over eons of evolution and reemerge as uncategorizable. Give me a break. I'll put you in categories whether you like it or not. And you'll stay there.

Also, no, we're not repressed homosexuals. At least not yet. We're working on it.

Oh, and, please keep trying to de-platform us. I'll just move the podcast to a server on Tor. Real smart, folks. The way to educate people is to forbid them from accessing information. You guys are like a reprise of Fahrenheit 451. Fahrenheit 51, I guess. For your IQ.

To follow along with the videos discussed at the beginning of the episode:

https://ymmv.me/40/blipvert-porn

We get a lot of our questions from the Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/40/finger-sucking

https://ymmv.me/40/male-blowjob

https://ymmv.me/40/masturbating

https://ymmv.me/40/more-masturbating

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [0:10] Keith: I am a straight male, but there's this couple that wants me to have a threesome with them. They said the boyfriend would give me head while I give the girlfriend head. So you have the picture here, that this this third party
  • [0:19] Keith: is going to receive a blowjob from the boyfriend while he gives the girlfriend
  • [0:26] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage. May vary. We talk about sex and relationships. My co host is mike. Welcome, mike,
  • [0:29] Mike: Thanks.
  • [0:36] Keith: I've received some feedback feedback that our show begins to abruptly. So what would you say it is we do here.
  • [0:37] Mike: Well, we're
  • [0:43] Mike: we're the antidote to the woke mob on the sex subreddit. We tell it like it is
  • [0:46] Mike: and uh and help people better understand their bodies, keith.
  • [0:50] Keith: Okay, that sounds good. And are we qualified to do that?
  • [0:52] Mike: Absolutely!
  • [0:53] Mike: Um
  • [0:57] Mike: We have known many women, we are men. Uh
  • [1:01] Mike: we inhabit these human bodies and
  • [1:10] Mike: importantly, we are unusually honest and excellent critical thinkers. Unlike many, many people out there, so we're
  • [1:13] Mike: perhaps overqualified.
  • [1:16] Keith: Okay, I agree with this analysis generally.
  • [1:17] Keith: Ah
  • [1:25] Keith: so we also accept questions from the audience. If you have any comments or questions, hit us up at Y M M. V pod at gmail dot com.
  • [1:31] Keith: Um We start most episodes with a porn viewing and analysis. I have one for us today,
  • [1:40] Mike: keith, what the person who is the person or people who have given this feedback that says we're too abrupt, like what are they looking for? They're looking for some banter.
  • [1:46] Keith: Yeah, I think so, maybe they like our report and want to hear,
  • [1:51] Keith: let's pretend to be humans before we get into it. I think there may also
  • [1:53] Keith: I think our
  • [1:58] Keith: cis hetero anus may be off putting to certain
  • [2:01] Keith: folks because we just are so
  • [2:04] Keith: I don't know what is the word? Bold,
  • [2:07] Keith: Unapologetic.
  • [2:08] Keith: Ah
  • [2:09] Keith: you know something I
  • [2:18] Mike: think I mean I think partly you're just talking about the podcast audience in general. I think the podcast audience in general excuse that direction,
  • [2:19] Mike: meaning that
  • [2:20] Mike: you know, our
  • [2:25] Mike: large and growing audiences probably we've never done a survey or a poll or
  • [2:36] Mike: Analytics on that, but it probably skews well actually we do have analytics saying that excuse more male but not like 99% or something. I mean it's pretty diverse gender wise
  • [2:50] Mike: audience. Um that's from the data we have from things like Spotify. I mean people can always use some, you know, unusual way to get a podcast that we wouldn't be able to measure who they are, which which is great. I mean I love anonymity obviously. Um
  • [2:54] Keith: yeah, I suspect the Spotify numbers or direction, although
  • [3:01] Mike: sure. Um and so you know, on some level we're just uh you just got to look at who our bases. And the other thing is I mean
  • [3:17] Mike: uh look just because you don't disagree if you if you disagree with us. Uh it's still useful maybe to know what we think. And then the final thing I would say is that we have had diverse viewpoints. We've had if you go back through our catalog, we've had other folks on with diverse viewpoints and if people want to
  • [3:21] Mike: come on and shatter some of our illusions then do so, but be ready for some
  • [3:27] Mike: some psychological nudity and some real critical thinking.
  • [3:28] Mike: Yeah.
  • [3:33] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I've enjoyed all of our episodes with guests be
  • [3:36] Keith: it's interesting to watch
  • [3:38] Keith: mostly you
  • [3:40] Keith: uh
  • [3:44] Keith: wrestle them into a place where I feel like they haven't
  • [3:46] Keith: really represented their point of view as well as they might
  • [3:56] Mike: have liked. I mean, it's not always like that. I mean, you know, we've had uh we've had folks on who really well represented their viewpoint. Although
  • [4:03] Mike: I will be honest in saying that I feel like we you know, one of the I would say the number one value that we have here at why mmv
  • [4:14] Mike: it's for better or worse, we're honest, we're honest about what we really feel about things. And we have had a guest or two on where I felt like, look this is just my feeling and I'm sure the guest would disagree, but I felt like
  • [4:27] Mike: there was something there was a layer that was not being revealed. It's like they're they're describing their sexual Proclivities there, what they think about how people approach these topics in a way that I just didn't feel was very genuine uh
  • [4:29] Mike: um
  • [4:37] Mike: you know, and so then it then it becomes hard to like wrestle anyone anywhere because if a person just says, look, this is, you know, this is how I'm gonna, I'm gonna go at this without sort of
  • [4:39] Mike: delving deeper than it's difficult.
  • [4:46] Keith: Yeah, it's tricky if people are not intellectually rigorous and honest, but it's hard because
  • [4:53] Keith: like you said, they may not know themselves, they're being dishonest, right? So they've been sort of
  • [4:54] Keith: built this
  • [4:58] Keith: shield around themselves, telling themselves something that
  • [5:03] Keith: really upon close inspection doesn't stand up very well. And so
  • [5:08] Mike: anyway, I mean, I think, I think the question people should always ask themselves is, uh,
  • [5:20] Mike: and look, there are things that I believe, I, you know, you think about it cause you wonder, hey, is there stuff that I believe, where I'm so doctrinaire that there's nothing that could change my opinion but an important question to ask yourself always, I think is like,
  • [5:26] Mike: hey, I believe this thing, Is there any evidence someone could give me that would make me change my mind?
  • [5:30] Mike: And if the answer is no, then you're talking about a religion, not a,
  • [5:34] Mike: not a, like a well defined sort of critically thought out
  • [5:40] Mike: point of view. And yeah, you know, and I think it's important to always ask yourself if there is like that.
  • [5:49] Mike: Um, and that's so that, yeah, that's, that's sort of how I define honesty is like, is there, is there something that could change your mind and if there isn't, then you're probably not being, you haven't reached the bottom.
  • [5:52] Keith: Yeah, I mean, I think one thing
  • [6:06] Keith: that I appreciate about you and I've heard other people laud you for this actually is you do occasionally change your mind when presented with further evidence and that strengthens the positions that you strongly hold because
  • [6:09] Keith: it sort of verifies that there
  • [6:12] Keith: backed by something. Anyway. All right, you ready to watch this born?
  • [6:19] Mike: I am. But you have to have to get the link up here and why don't you sort of So this is one that you have um
  • [6:24] Mike: you have found so therefore you probably should narrate it. And I'm going to start from the beginning of it.
  • [6:31] Keith: Yes, and it's only 15 seconds and I'm ready to narrate it. I've actually taken some notes because I have to narrate this quickly.
  • [6:36] Keith: Uh and this is from a subreddit called porn in 15 seconds. Are you ready?
  • [6:45] Mike: And this girl? Yeah. So we will have the link in the show notes. People can go and we encourage people to pause the audio, get the link, bring it up and then
  • [6:47] Mike: follow along with us and
  • [6:52] Mike: you won't be missing. I mean you're you're gonna be missing out if you don't see this because uh I'm not
  • [7:01] Mike: let's see, I like I don't always find ladies of asian descent the most attractive. But I am intrigued here. So let's see where this goes.
  • [7:09] Keith: Yeah, her name is Sharon lee for for the those who want to google her at home actually being is better for porn.
  • [7:11] Keith: Alright count me down mike?
  • [7:15] Mike: 321 Go.
  • [7:29] Keith: So we have a cute asian lady leaving what looks like an airport now she's squeezing her breasts together in a bathroom now she's eagerly blowing an enormous congress now she's being sucked in a standing position now she's a reverse cowgirl, more reverse cowgirl doggy.
  • [7:37] Keith: Now some guy is coming on her face in a parking lot with some people milling around in the background and that's it.
  • [7:40] Mike: That so I feel like um
  • [7:50] Mike: I feel like a woman must feel as the spurts of seeing that are shooting under her face. It was just it was just thing after thing after thing flying into my eyes, blinding me.
  • [7:52] Mike: Um
  • [7:57] Mike: Yes, I'm still processing this but it's so hard to bring this to our attention.
  • [8:11] Keith: Right? So a few things. The first is this subreddit porn in 15 seconds has 1.3 million subscribers. It's the 412th most popular subreddit on all of reddit. So it's an extremely popular
  • [8:13] Keith: pornographic style.
  • [8:15] Keith: I
  • [8:25] Keith: Find it interesting to look at like if you go to that subreddit sort by top and watch the top 10. You know that's a lot of stuff like this. I think this one was the third most popular ever.
  • [8:28] Keith: I don't I mean it's
  • [8:34] Keith: it's funny to watch almost just it's so overwhelming with stimulation in such a short period of time.
  • [8:35] Keith: But
  • [8:38] Keith: could you like why
  • [8:44] Keith: why is this so popular? Like I don't think I can masturbate to this. It's just too much.
  • [8:47] Mike: Maybe you could though. Maybe like if you sort of let go of
  • [8:53] Mike: your need for a narrative in other words, I'm imagining like, let's say that, let's say this went on for an hour.
  • [8:59] Mike: Uh So for those who didn't click the link, I mean it changes,
  • [9:01] Mike: it changes scenes.
  • [9:03] Mike: It's always her.
  • [9:18] Mike: Yeah, but it changes scenes like every two seconds. And so maybe what would happen is like maybe you can trigger something in your brain by I've never tried this but by like just continue. Like, like I feel like I need some kind of a narrative to like,
  • [9:21] Mike: well, because ultimately what porn is, is it's like simulating
  • [9:28] Mike: the sex experience. And so like nobody's sex experiences like this right? Where like, I mean, it would be interesting, but nobody, unless you're on some really
  • [9:30] Mike: profound drug
  • [9:41] Mike: has a sex experience where every two seconds something totally changes about about about what what you're doing. Uh So it's yeah, it's hard to understand. I mean, the only thing I can think of is it's like a
  • [9:50] Mike: Or the thing the other thing that immediately comes to mind is it's like an index. It's like here are 10 possible things that could happen, so you can like pick which one makes you horny that day.
  • [9:59] Keith: Yeah, I considered that and I peruse the comments to see if there were links to the full video and some of them there are and some of them, there aren't but that doesn't seem
  • [10:00] Keith: like
  • [10:03] Keith: the primary thing here. Also
  • [10:06] Keith: getting full videos of porn's
  • [10:16] Keith: can be tricky unless you torrent them. So maybe the links aren't available. But in any case I don't think people are using this is like a preview
  • [10:21] Mike: mechanism. It is an ad ultimately for bang bro's dot com, which is at the bottom, right?
  • [10:24] Keith: You've seen their content, right or No,
  • [10:30] Mike: it sure it's very professionally done. It's not my favorite. Yeah, there is a pretend
  • [10:33] Keith: to seduce somebody from the street and then Yes.
  • [10:37] Mike: Yeah. No, it's I mean if you believe the,
  • [10:53] Mike: If you believe that's what's happening, it's good. There's a section starting at about six point I mean I have to use decimals here. Yeah, let me 6.16.11 maybe seconds in where it's, let me see if I can describe this. She's standing up.
  • [11:00] Mike: It looks like she perhaps has won. So he they're both standing up. I think you'll see why I'm not sure in a sec.
  • [11:06] Mike: She maybe has one leg over his shoulder and the other leg is she's standing on maybe
  • [11:07] Mike: uh and it
  • [11:12] Mike: the camera appears to be attached to something that is maybe
  • [11:17] Mike: oh sorry and he's between her legs and penetrating her and the camera appears to be maybe
  • [11:25] Mike: 1 - two ft below his nutsack pointing up into the penetration and I find that angle interesting.
  • [11:30] Mike: And it's very, very operational. It's not
  • [11:39] Mike: there's no emotion at all in that angle. It's just here, I'm going to put my lego piece in your lego piece again and again. So I found that interesting. Maybe a rousing.
  • [11:46] Keith: This is definitely the most remarkable angle in this 15 2nd clip of about eight different shots. I don't understand
  • [11:51] Keith: how the camera even fits in there. Like maybe it must be a small camera. Like if it was one of those big,
  • [11:52] Keith: you know,
  • [11:57] Keith: filmmaking cameras, I don't even think it could fit in between her leg and his legs.
  • [11:58] Mike: Bugs.
  • [12:00] Mike: Wait, so you found that to be the most remarkable scene too.
  • [12:02] Keith: It's the most
  • [12:05] Keith: technically curious.
  • [12:06] Mike: Yeah, maybe I wonder if
  • [12:08] Keith: you wrote you know,
  • [12:15] Mike: stuff I want to turn this. Uh if you could turn this kind of video and do a capture, everybody knows a capture. It's one of those
  • [12:22] Mike: pieces of texts that are sort of spun around or whatever that you have to type in to get. So you can prove you're not a computer. Well, this might be a way to prove you're a
  • [12:28] Mike: maybe not a computer. Maybe a man. You know which scene of this is the most compelling
  • [12:38] Mike: and for somebody who doesn't watch porn very much they wouldn't know what to select, but you and I immediately knew what to select. So
  • [12:44] Keith: yeah. All right, well that's the porn. Um I don't understand why that subreddit is so popular.
  • [12:47] Mike: I think so, porn in 15 seconds.
  • [12:50] Keith: Yeah. All written out.
  • [12:54] Mike: And how did you find that?
  • [12:56] Keith: Good question?
  • [12:58] Keith: I don't remember. There is
  • [13:03] Mike: You have a date coming up and you're like, I only have 15 seconds to get my nut out here. I
  • [13:10] Keith: just I mean yeah, back to the topic of like masturbating to that. I don't I mean I could it's better than nothing, but
  • [13:17] Keith: it's just it's too fast. Like I like switching between stuff while I'm masturbating, but that's that's a bridge too far. Even
  • [13:22] Mike: For me, you want like you want what? 45 seconds?
  • [13:27] Keith: I don't know when I'm actually searching for porn. You know how you can normally see the length?
  • [13:28] Keith: I
  • [13:37] Keith: don't like if the video is less than like eight minutes because I feel like it's not that I need that long to masturbate to it, but I feel like
  • [13:45] Keith: like I don't want to get in like two minutes and be like oh this is good and then fast forward to like four minutes and then fast forward to seven minutes and then have it
  • [13:48] Keith: be done with like I want a longer videos so that
  • [13:51] Keith: I can hyper actively
  • [13:55] Keith: switch to a few different places without running out of material.
  • [14:06] Mike: Got it. Well, I want to just just so people know actually the video that keith gave us here is the number one all time on that subreddit, number three. Yeah. With 14,000 up votes
  • [14:07] Mike: looking at some of the others, there's
  • [14:09] Mike: pretty similar
  • [14:11] Mike: a type of content
  • [14:13] Mike: and yes, I too,
  • [14:17] Mike: I don't understand why this would be so popular, but you know, maybe,
  • [14:19] Mike: you know, maybe people are just like
  • [14:25] Mike: on their way to school or work or whatever and they want something quick to take a look at to make their day better.
  • [14:26] Mike: Yes. Does it?
  • [14:28] Keith: Yeah, I suppose.
  • [14:29] Keith: All right, let's move on.
  • [14:30] Keith: Um
  • [14:36] Keith: Do you know what a Tenga egg is?
  • [14:46] Mike: Um I'm going to assume you're talking about I'm gonna assume you're talking about an egg that you stick in your vagina to help you tighten the kegel muscles.
  • [14:50] Keith: Yeah, that's not what it is. No. Uh
  • [15:00] Keith: So uh Good, good, good, good. I was I was hoping you had not heard of it. So I I propose that you you google this right now. Tenga egg T E N G A.
  • [15:02] Keith: Um
  • [15:03] Keith: I'm seeing somebody
  • [15:05] Keith: and she
  • [15:11] Keith: asked me if I had ever used a tenga egg before and I said no
  • [15:17] Keith: and she said just if I wanted to try and I said sure and so she has bought
  • [15:20] Keith: one or some and we're going to
  • [15:23] Keith: we're going to we're going to try this.
  • [15:28] Mike: Now I notice uh I'm just looking at on amazon here. Um
  • [15:31] Mike: They include so they have a pack of six of these.
  • [15:34] Mike: I don't know what they are by the way, like probably
  • [15:40] Keith: because of like a little further I can, I can help you, but it is, they're not showing what it is, but I'll tell
  • [15:45] Mike: you it has uh it's made in japan contains it.
  • [15:46] Mike: It,
  • [15:53] Mike: it includes lubrication, so that's interesting. Again, I don't know what it does or is um
  • [15:59] Mike: okay, it expands drastically for a snug fit. Okay, so it must go around your cock.
  • [16:05] Mike: Um it has different internal structures and it is, and this is interesting. Disposable.
  • [16:09] Mike: Yes. Which so I'm gonna guess it's a disposable flashlight.
  • [16:18] Keith: Yeah, I think that is a good, I think that's a good analogy. Anyway, I just sent you an actual picture of it. It's a,
  • [16:20] Keith: what is it? It's a, it's a cock sleeve basically.
  • [16:28] Mike: Yeah. Oh, that doesn't mean when you say cock sleeve, I immediately think of something to enlarge the appearance size of your cock, which I know.
  • [16:29] Keith: No, I think this is,
  • [16:39] Mike: we know from past experience that's a very risky thing in relationships because once a guy goes there and the girl enjoys it, The lady enjoys it. Then he is out of luck
  • [16:45] Keith: forever. Emasculated by his penis not being wide enough or long. Yeah,
  • [16:50] Keith: so yeah, it comes with this whole lotion is what they call the lubricant
  • [16:54] Keith: and um
  • [17:01] Keith: there's actually a review in cosmopolitan magazine. That's, that's pretty funny. I'm going to read a few clips here.
  • [17:09] Keith: So after squeezing the enclosed whole ocean into the egg, I cautiously guided it onto my boyfriend's erect penis. Sure it looked absolutely bizarre, but
  • [17:14] Keith: teenage style giggling abruptly ended when he realized how good it felt.
  • [17:23] Keith: I started off the hand job very carefully because I've learned the hard way not to go in there all hard and fast. They don't like that apparently. But he's got more turned on. He wanted it tighter.
  • [17:35] Keith: We're the kind of people who like to talk about what's going on during sex. And so as we went on, I dutifully responded to direction from him. More loop please was followed by broader, faster strokes. Melody, so broader. Foster stroke, faster strokes. I did
  • [17:37] Keith: long story short. He came
  • [17:48] Keith: there was a moment where it was touch and go where he suddenly became very aware of the situation and had a tiny freak out. But we soldiered on through because if anything I've dedicated to this cause
  • [17:49] Keith: uh
  • [18:06] Keith: okay, one last thing here, he said the sensations were awesome. Unlike anything he'd really felt and that his orgasm was cosmic. The egg came in a pack of six. So minus the two. I managed to palm off on my co workers, he's got, he's got three left with different textures to try. Yeah, I guess they come with different
  • [18:10] Keith: little nubs on the sleeve or something.
  • [18:11] Mike: Yeah.
  • [18:13] Keith: So um
  • [18:16] Keith: is this compelling?
  • [18:22] Mike: Well I found uh while you were telling that story there, I found a video of
  • [18:29] Mike: a porn where a lady is using one of these on a guy's penis and
  • [18:31] Mike: it,
  • [18:35] Mike: I guess in some ways it looks like a condom in the sense that it
  • [18:39] Mike: is sort of a semi opaque thing that winds up covering it. Um
  • [18:42] Mike: on the other hand, there's a dimension where it kind of looks like
  • [18:54] Mike: something out of alien or like the penis is erupting from something in a way that I kind of didn't like, I feel like a condition not to want things to be coming through translucent films like that, maybe
  • [18:59] Mike: from the animal kingdom. That's a negative thing. Often that type of situation arises.
  • [19:00] Mike: Um,
  • [19:03] Mike: I think that,
  • [19:07] Mike: yeah, I mean, look, these are just, it's just like some sort of vagina simulator, right?
  • [19:10] Keith: Does this person come in the video?
  • [19:12] Mike: Yeah. Do you want to know where the semen goes?
  • [19:18] Keith: Yeah. Where does it go? Does it just glop around and then come down on the shaft?
  • [19:22] Mike: Indeed, Yeah. There's no like reservoir and it just sort of
  • [19:25] Mike: kind of rolls down the shaft of his cock.
  • [19:27] Keith: That's unfortunate.
  • [19:28] Mike: So, I mean, this looks like it's
  • [19:31] Keith: about that thing most, but yeah, that's kind of gross to me.
  • [19:36] Mike: This makes, it looks like something that just makes a hand job easier to give.
  • [19:36] Mike: Yes, I
  • [19:39] Keith: think that's what's going on. I think it provides
  • [19:47] Keith: maybe some of the uh benefit that foreskin provides. But I don't know, I haven't tried this yet.
  • [19:55] Mike: So what is the scenario that this lovely young lady is proposed for you? You'll go have a maybe a
  • [20:03] Mike: an appetizer, some seafood, a couple of drinks and you'll retire to one of your apartments and
  • [20:09] Mike: she will place this egg over your penis and stroke it until you ejaculate.
  • [20:10] Keith: Mhm.
  • [20:28] Keith: So these are this is an excellent question setting aside. I don't want to give away my tricks to two awesome dates. But yeah, you know, at some point it'll be time to have sex and it's not an egg. I think it's inside the egg, right? The egg is just the packaging.
  • [20:37] Mike: It's that's unclear. I mean, it looks like look at the shape is suggestive. I think that there's there's obviously it's like an egg with one hole at one end, meaning
  • [20:47] Mike: if you imagine a football, there's appointee and the other two points. And one of the points sort of has some kind of a hole that you can insert something through and then there's some lubricant and you squish it around
  • [21:01] Mike: It. Uh it butters it up. And then uh and then it's stretchy, like a condom so that when you put it in there, like it maintains 100% contact with your skin the whole time, which is why it's pleasurable.
  • [21:05] Keith: Would you be interested in trying this solo?
  • [21:06] Keith: No.
  • [21:07] Mike: Why?
  • [21:09] Mike: Um
  • [21:12] Mike: Because I don't Well, I mean
  • [21:16] Mike: because I don't think like, okay,
  • [21:17] Mike: okay.
  • [21:25] Mike: Uh Do you mean I would buy it myself and do it in secret or you would like drive to my house and give me one.
  • [21:28] Keith: I mean,
  • [21:32] Keith: yeah, let's say it arrives free of charge.
  • [21:33] Mike: Yeah, I don't,
  • [21:35] Mike: I uh
  • [21:39] Mike: I'm not in my life many times used
  • [21:40] Mike: uh
  • [21:59] Mike: sexual implements given to me in that sort of way. Like I would usually sort of just shop and buy it myself and then use it partly just so I don't have to like, reveal that that happened if it winds up being somehow embarrassing. But I think the main point here is not like the psychological dimension here, it's like, it's like, well is this compelling and like
  • [22:04] Mike: I sort of know I know what this is going to be like because it's basically simulating
  • [22:13] Mike: a mouth or vagina, like on different levels. And like, so I know, yeah, I mean, like, look, doesn't feel better than just beating off. Yeah, it does. I'm sure it does because in the same way that
  • [22:16] Mike: because and the reason why is because it maintains
  • [22:17] Mike: a
  • [22:20] Mike: yeah, it maintains more sort of,
  • [22:23] Mike: well lubricated and soft.
  • [22:31] Mike: Contact pressure. Yeah. Contact along your penis. I mean, one of the, like for our female listener, like, you know, your
  • [22:44] Mike: primary point of masturbation is going to be just a small area that you can very easily maintain whatever contact you want. I mean, you like rub along one side of it or whatever you do or use a vibrator, But for a man, like you have this problem that like it's
  • [22:54] Mike: for most men, at least there's enough surface area there that is actually challenging to maintain contact with it with the whole entirety of it. I mean think about it. Let's see it
  • [22:57] Mike: 6" long and 5" around. So that's
  • [23:17] Mike: 30 square inches of surface area and you can sort of like draw that out. I mean that's like a meaningful size of shape. Like if you think of a piece of paper is not that much bigger piece of paper is like 88 square inches. So there's a lot of service that you've got to keep contact with and it's sort of impossible. And this device basically does that and that stimulates more nerves and so forth and it feels better, right? I mean that's,
  • [23:18] Mike: it's just that simple I think.
  • [23:26] Mike: Uh So yeah, I don't really understand why a girl, but I mean, I guess she's just like, oh I saw this thing I heard is good, but it's like, look like her,
  • [23:29] Mike: her body part is better or its equivalent. At least
  • [23:33] Mike: you could try inserting it into her vagina and then
  • [23:37] Keith: you know, like this thing is pretty thick.
  • [23:44] Mike: She might like that. But then we get into that weird cox leave territory where what if she loves it escalate
  • [23:48] Keith: now. Like every time we have sex we have to use a tangle, there's
  • [23:53] Mike: another thing which is in a partnered situation not to go totally back to the
  • [23:55] Mike: appetizer and
  • [23:57] Mike: seafood, but
  • [24:00] Mike: I always think that like putting a lube on the guy.
  • [24:08] Mike: I know, I see in porn's, it always makes me kind of gag a little when there's like a loop put on his cock and then later or in some
  • [24:09] Mike: relations that she's sucking
  • [24:22] Mike: his car, I say, and I don't like that either, like that. So I'm not, I don't really understand why it's like, oh, let's put this weird substance on there and then I'll probably have to interact with it, meaning her uh subsequently like, that seems kind of lame to,
  • [24:31] Keith: okay, so you feel like this should foreclose on a blowjob happening after and even if it doesn't, then you're a little bit grossed out by
  • [24:38] Mike: I think I would be, I think I would be like, you know what just happened there, like Yeah, I like it now, renders her mouth a little gross. It's like, let's
  • [24:41] Mike: let's keep this clean fellas, hurt ladies,
  • [24:41] Keith: right?
  • [24:45] Mike: People uh Maybe this could be used.
  • [24:53] Mike: The other scene I can imagine is like, you guys go somewhere where you know, it's a little naughty to have sex and then she uses this as a way to
  • [24:55] Mike: she pulls it out of her purse
  • [24:59] Mike: and and and puts it on your john Thompson.
  • [25:00] Mike: Mhm.
  • [25:03] Mike: In the restaurant or whatever. Is that? Is that the plan?
  • [25:09] Keith: I don't think so. No, I think this has to be done in the comfort of one of our own homes
  • [25:14] Mike: already, but All right, well, I'll report back
  • [25:16] Keith: uh if this happens
  • [25:19] Keith: I'm not sure what shipping speed she got
  • [25:22] Keith: or maybe she has some which is actually I hope that's not the case.
  • [25:23] Keith: Yeah.
  • [25:27] Keith: I don't I don't want to have like the last two in a six pack, you know?
  • [25:29] Mike: Oh
  • [25:31] Mike: that's probably the reality of it.
  • [25:49] Keith: Uh All right, let's move on. Um Okay, this person asks on Reddit is finger sucking a thing. Was stroking my girlfriend's hair as she gave me head and when she smiled I slipped my thumb into her mouth and she sucked it turned me on. So I encouraged her to suck all the fingers on that hand. One by one.
  • [25:57] Keith: Haven't tried sucking her fingers yet because I'm not sure she'd like it. How should I broach the subject and his finger sucking a thing. Thanks.
  • [25:58] Keith: Ah
  • [26:03] Keith: let me just give some comments here. So
  • [26:04] Keith: I have occasionally
  • [26:11] Keith: uh stuck a finger in a lady's mouth and had women stick their fingers in mine.
  • [26:22] Keith: It always sort of strikes me as like a little bit embarrassing and weird. Uh Usually at that point of the engagement I'm fairly turned on, so
  • [26:31] Keith: whatever just sort of play along. But this doesn't really turn me on and it actually like especially in the light of day seems kind of silly.
  • [26:33] Keith: Do you have any feelings on this?
  • [26:38] Mike: Well wait, which direction you said you find it sort of embarrassing. So what you said, I
  • [26:48] Keith: don't know if embarrassing or like silly, you know, it's like, oh let me you know, touch your shoulder blade. Like this is not,
  • [26:54] Keith: I mean the fingers obviously makes you think of oral and
  • [27:00] Keith: you know can be submissive or dominant in some ways, but
  • [27:03] Keith: you know, so it's not exactly like, you know, touching her kneecap or something.
  • [27:08] Keith: Both are not really arousing for either party, but
  • [27:12] Keith: one, I don't agree at least with finger sucking, it's like related
  • [27:14] Keith: You know, two or until like.
  • [27:19] Mike: Yeah. I mean, I think that like for like, I mean I think it's a little, there's some difference between the two but not
  • [27:25] Mike: massive difference in the sense like let's let's go one direction first, right? The
  • [27:29] Mike: putting your finger in the girl's mouth. Uh
  • [27:36] Mike: At a minimum, I mean it depends on what what else is happening. But like you could definitely be implying or sort of playing in terms of like
  • [27:44] Mike: an M. F. M. Scenario, right? I mean like so you're penetrating her and then you put your finger in the mouth and it's as if she can like
  • [27:48] Mike: feel even more submissive in that regard. Does that make sense?
  • [27:51] Mike: Mhm. You could, you could even go for the
  • [27:57] Mike: uh strap on. I saw a porn this week where there was a guy with a strap on
  • [28:00] Mike: that he located above his penis and then was double
  • [28:15] Mike: doing like a DP just by himself, right? The dildo dP as it were. But anyway, the point is, you can sort of like simulate that experience, and then for the guy, I mean, it's like, look, I mean, you're saying you don't get aroused adult, you get aroused in any way by like sucking on the nipple of a partner.
  • [28:17] Mike: Yes.
  • [28:19] Mike: Well, how come?
  • [28:20] Keith: Um
  • [28:23] Keith: I find breasts very attractive
  • [28:24] Keith: and
  • [28:27] Keith: I guess I'm like compelled to
  • [28:30] Keith: put my mouth on it. I'm not sure exactly why.
  • [28:34] Mike: For me, it's because I like milk a lot.
  • [28:39] Keith: Yes, but it's not milk,
  • [28:45] Keith: although there are particularly japanese born videos where that is the thing,
  • [28:47] Mike: Sure, you can get
  • [28:49] Mike: lactation videos. They're not,
  • [28:50] Mike: it's
  • [28:58] Mike: it's actually surprisingly gross. It's always the beard and the mustache for me that I don't like, but it's surprisingly not compelling to me to see a man with a
  • [29:01] Mike: beard and or mustache suckling at the breast and not,
  • [29:04] Mike: and then milk come out, you're like, that doesn't seem great.
  • [29:16] Mike: Um But okay, I mean, I just don't think there's that much of a leap between that and sucking on some other body part and like, people fetishize things. I mean, there's the whole, like if you go on a chatter bait and I know this from reading about
  • [29:18] Mike: cam girls generally like their
  • [29:22] Mike: rants and raves about the lifestyle
  • [29:26] Mike: uh constantly, constantly being asked to show their feet, right?
  • [29:27] Mike: Mhm.
  • [29:41] Mike: Just like a standard, like, show show your feet, or like, if there's a guy in the room, like give them a foot job. And I'm always like what? Because I'm not, I have no, I don't even understand. I just don't have that desire or fetish or whatever cultural.
  • [29:45] Mike: Yes. You're like, what? Like to me, a foot jobs just seems very maladroit.
  • [29:46] Mike: Kind of like a,
  • [29:55] Mike: like the opposite of a tenga egg. You know, you're just some sort of weird bunyan and callous. That's gonna irritate my cock sleeve.
  • [30:07] Keith: Yeah. Well, okay, I have no interest in feet. I know it's a fetish. I know people make money selling pictures of their feet. I don't understand that
  • [30:08] Keith: finger sucking, I think is
  • [30:14] Keith: I don't know if it's more common. I mean, it just comes up like, I'm sure this has happened to you once or twice. If not more.
  • [30:15] Keith: Uh
  • [30:17] Mike: From which direction
  • [30:18] Mike: either.
  • [30:23] Mike: Yeah, but the direction. So they toured the female direction makes a lot of sense to me. And it's like, look like,
  • [30:27] Mike: you know, if a woman's masturbating and you
  • [30:43] Mike: put your penis in her mouth at the same time, that could be arousing for her. Like, like being penetrated is like there, you know what it's like, it's like, oh yeah, here you go. Do you find it? Do you find it arousing to digitally penetrate? To use the legal term to finger
  • [30:45] Mike: to finger a woman. Is that arousing to you
  • [30:47] Keith: her vagina.
  • [30:48] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. Of course.
  • [30:58] Mike: Yeah. And I mean that's arousing because it's like you're simulating like, I mean you're penetrating, you're taking on the male role, similarly the female role.
  • [31:10] Keith: No, I think also that to toot my own horn too much here, but I feel like I'm giving her pleasure also when I'm digitally penetrating her vagina when I'm digitally penetrating her mouth,
  • [31:12] Keith: uh
  • [31:19] Keith: that's a little harder to believe, but I mean maybe this is back to generally why I find
  • [31:22] Keith: uh receiving blowjobs sort of
  • [31:28] Keith: tricky. Like it's hard for me to imagine that a girl really wants a cock in her mouth, but if she does then why not fingers?
  • [31:43] Mike: Yeah. You uh even though despite my characterization here is the curmudgeon of this podcast, like I think I have the psychological dimension here is more evident to me like Yeah, I mean it's just like it's mostly psychological, right? So it's like
  • [31:49] Mike: she wants to like what is the what is the thing that the woman fantasizes about? They're very I mean mostly like having a
  • [31:51] Mike: guy with a stable source of income and
  • [32:03] Mike: lots of kids or something, but let's just set all those things aside and like switch to like physically carnally. What does she fantasized about? Well it's you know, being kind of taken or whatever and so it's like
  • [32:13] Mike: these things all play into that desire just like Yes. Yes, it's true that you're pleasuring her, but I think if you introspect about it, you'll realize and this is 100% true for me that like
  • [32:17] Mike: the actually most pleasurable thing about fingering is like the violation.
  • [32:28] Mike: It's like you know you don't now look if I spent all day long with my fingers up twat it would be it would become uncompelling. But it's the thing is you don't right? It's it's a little bit unusual thing you have to do and it's something like you
  • [32:36] Mike: uh maybe when you were a child you were like oh maybe I'll do that someday. And it's just yeah, it's like it's like you're fulfilling the male role. Like a rooster
  • [32:40] Keith: would your would your expectation be that
  • [32:45] Keith: women enjoy fingers in their mouth more than men?
  • [32:52] Mike: Yeah definitely. I don't think I enjoyed that. I was thinking about that. I don't have a little fun.
  • [32:59] Mike: Yeah it's not it's no I mean I don't even know if I view it that way. I think it's more I hear where you're coming from because I think for me I'd be like well this
  • [33:11] Mike: I'm not interested in that role reversal. Um like like just intellectually like being pegged seems more compelling, right? I don't want to be pegged either, but for a bunch of reasons but like
  • [33:25] Mike: just because then at least there's like some genital contact or it's like the right area of your body or something. But like Yeah but that just that just goes to show that like the role reversal is less interesting to me like I'm not the psychological dimension there doesn't work for me but it's fine. I'm sure there are men
  • [33:26] Mike: for whom?
  • [33:42] Mike: Yeah, like having things jammed in their mouth is compelling. Like I'm sure like I've seen porn's where there's a guy like giving a blow to a strap on on a woman and he appears to really be enjoying it. So it's like ok I've seen I've seen porn where guys just give blows so like you can go as far as you want on that.
  • [33:43] Mike: Okay,
  • [33:45] Keith: on that topic
  • [33:50] Keith: uh this person says I need advice about this ASAP
  • [33:51] Keith: I'm a street.
  • [34:05] Keith: You're going to love this. Actually I predict I am a straight male, but there's this couple that wants me to have a threesome with them. They said the boyfriend would give me head while I give the girlfriend head. So you have the picture here that this this third party
  • [34:11] Keith: is going to receive a blowjob from the boyfriend while he gives the girlfriend head.
  • [34:18] Mike: Yeah, I'm enough of an anatomy is to wonder to be wondering pretty quickly, like where all the bodies go, Okay, well alright hold on, hold on, hold
  • [34:22] Keith: on. Don't don't think too hard about it.
  • [34:29] Mike: But there's an issue, right? Because because normally she'd be on her back. So the guy giving her or all would be on his stomach and then I'm like well
  • [34:30] Mike: so the good
  • [34:35] Mike: there is actually an issue, right? Like how how did the body's orient? Maybe he'd have to have her. So that's probably what
  • [34:37] Keith: I think she sits on his on his face
  • [34:44] Mike: and she can sort of and then she watches her husband or whatever blow this guy. Okay let's imagine that's the scene. Got it.
  • [34:50] Keith: Sure. Usually women face the other way when they sit on your face. We've we've talked about this before. No, you're
  • [34:53] Keith: just sent up in the anus.
  • [34:54] Keith: Um But this
  • [35:07] Mike: is like that this is like that character on South Park who uh he's like, he's like when I when I do number two on the toilet, uh I love how there's that shelf there that I can put my book on and they're like what are you talking about it? Because he uh
  • [35:08] Keith: he faces the wrong
  • [35:13] Mike: way. I think it's butters, it's butters. He's is the wrong way. But it's funny.
  • [35:27] Keith: I it's really good actually. Okay so they are offering me $700 which I could really use but the whole thing makes me a bit uncomfortable and now here's a lot of money. Here's the part you're going to like update.
  • [35:30] Mike: I
  • [35:33] Keith: went over there today. There is no girlfriend.
  • [35:35] Keith: The dude just wanted to suck a guy off.
  • [35:43] Keith: I told him I felt tricked and I got the funk out of there. I'm currently on my way to get a cold beer and forget about this whole fucking situation
  • [35:45] Mike: at least admitted there was,
  • [35:50] Keith: I mean he tries to lure him in with, I mean first off
  • [35:56] Keith: uh three some often you don't have to pay for and then secondly, yeah, this guy,
  • [36:01] Mike: you really don't have to I mean who has to pay.
  • [36:13] Mike: I mean, yeah, the mentality of the guy who tricked him. I'm guessing he's like, there's something wrong with him. In other words, he's very old, very unattractive meaning. The guy who was going to give the blow because like,
  • [36:20] Mike: look, I mean, my impression, although, okay, as I've said before, I I have have enough knowledge of this domain to know.
  • [36:26] Mike: And for people who haven't listened to the entire back catalog of our podcast, I will remind people that
  • [36:30] Mike: in mm sort of casual scenarios, the
  • [36:35] Mike: guy, it's harder to give a blow than to receive one. Yes, this is
  • [36:39] Keith: true. I know you harder because I remain ambivalent. But okay,
  • [36:40] Mike: Yeah,
  • [36:44] Mike: you just don't have the knowledge. You've got to do the research. Get on grindr.
  • [36:51] Mike: Um, thanks. So you get on grindr and you'll find that giving a blow is yeah, is a
  • [36:53] Mike: is a little bit harder.
  • [36:55] Mike: Um,
  • [37:02] Mike: and I mean, there's always going to be an economy there. It's just whichever one people want to do more. Right? And it just turns out that getting a blow in the gay community is not that hard.
  • [37:11] Mike: So, so that so that probably explains why there's some sort of trickery here, that being said, it's not that hard to give a blow. And also like,
  • [37:13] Mike: I mean
  • [37:17] Mike: like if you, you know, he could,
  • [37:19] Mike: he could do an exchange with someone,
  • [37:32] Mike: You know, so it's not like this is they both have the same parts. So it feels like there's a better solution to this from this guy than than solving the problem. But uh what is your thought here, Keith your thought is that he should have just done it anyway for the 700 bucks. I noticed that it
  • [37:38] Keith: didn't say what I want to talk about it, that is what I want to talk about. So so
  • [37:43] Keith: it's hard to create, I want to ask you how much someone would have to pay you
  • [37:44] Keith: two,
  • [37:53] Keith: let them blow you. But the problem is, yeah, we need to create like some sort of equal footing here. So like let's say we were, you know sophomores in college or whatever
  • [37:57] Keith: and we're in like that financial situation. How much do you think he would have
  • [38:00] Keith: uh needed back then?
  • [38:02] Keith: But the thing is I was I was so
  • [38:05] Keith: young and like afraid of
  • [38:09] Mike: no, I'm sure I would have done it. I think I would have done it.
  • [38:13] Keith: I think I would have done it too. I think I would do it now for the right amount of money.
  • [38:19] Mike: I'm saying for for for $700. I think that there is, I think that at that time in my life
  • [38:21] Mike: I have to uh it's not remote, etc.
  • [38:31] Mike: There's there mitigating factors, you're like, okay why wouldn't I do it? I wouldn't do it because I'd be afraid for my safety. You have to sort of clean up the situation to make it so that like somehow there's no risk. Because I was
  • [38:36] Keith: yes, let's let's assume all that. There's no herpes. There's no and also like
  • [38:38] Mike: it has to not take that long.
  • [38:44] Keith: Sure. You don't like what you're not, you're not mandated to come, but you have to let him blow you for at least five minutes say.
  • [38:49] Mike: Yeah. Okay, so there's that too. And like also like, yeah, it depends on like how gross he is.
  • [38:55] Mike: There's some worry about like S. T. I. S and so forth that I'd have to think about. Um But yeah, I mean, I get the general
  • [39:02] Keith: for the only the only concern here is um emotional trauma.
  • [39:09] Keith: He's not going to bite or anything. It's just like, well you think of yourself differently after having accepted money to be blown.
  • [39:10] Keith: I don't think I care.
  • [39:18] Mike: I don't think so. I think that that I think maybe a little um but I think they're like that I'd also be worried about being videoed. Just another one. You're
  • [39:24] Keith: setting aside all those concerns, right? Like you're convinced that this will be kept private,
  • [39:28] Keith: you know, it's safe. It's clean.
  • [39:32] Mike: Yeah. I think, I think I just don't think I would care that much. Like? I think that like,
  • [39:33] Mike: this is like,
  • [39:40] Mike: this is a thing that like this is just a difference in like the male and female condition on some level, right? It's like, I think for a woman,
  • [39:47] Mike: literally anything in this area would be like, I don't think there is a thing like this that they wouldn't really have to think about.
  • [39:57] Mike: Like it's like, oh, some sexual activity basically. Any, I mean, I guess just flashing your boobs or something, but almost any sexual activity a woman's gonna do, she'd have to really think about because it's going to impact her
  • [40:04] Mike: a somewhat profound way. And I think part of that just comes from having like an internal sexual organ. But for a guy, like,
  • [40:07] Mike: I don't this isn't that different than like
  • [40:15] Mike: yeah, like shaking hands with somebody or something. Yeah, right? It's like, I don't know if I would wonder, I don't know if I could
  • [40:17] Mike: come to orgasm. I think
  • [40:19] Mike: it's somewhat unlike, I have no idea what
  • [40:23] Keith: I suspect not, but I don't know.
  • [40:28] Mike: Um but if that wasn't a stipulation and then yeah, then it just comes down to like, well, how annoying is this
  • [40:33] Mike: and comparing it. But yeah, I mean, I look, I'm
  • [40:40] Mike: I have a feeling there's guys out there that have done this basically. I mean, I know, look, I have a feeling I know there are men out there that like have
  • [40:45] Mike: made this type of offer to college student men and I bet the guys say yes a lot.
  • [40:46] Mike: Mhm.
  • [40:56] Mike: I bet it's not actually that hard to, as long as like, you know there's a place that's private, it's not recorded blah blah blah blah blah. They're like, yeah, I mean I'll take 500 bucks from you uh you know, a week or whatever like that
  • [40:57] Keith: time.
  • [41:01] Mike: Yeah, I'd really like the guy not to have facial hair too.
  • [41:03] Mike: Well, I was I
  • [41:09] Keith: was going to ask you this does the physical attraction of the of the man matter at all?
  • [41:13] Mike: Only only in a negative sense. I like I think having the guy be totally like
  • [41:18] Mike: there's there. Yeah, I mean like if they have bad teeth there's things where I'd be like, well you're you're like not
  • [41:25] Keith: we're guaranteeing cleanliness and safety, so you know, there's no long term risk here.
  • [41:31] Mike: Yeah, I just I just mean like, you know, it's it's it's like if they were normal looking
  • [41:39] Mike: normal, being pretty broad, but like yeah, if there was something really off about the person, so it wouldn't just be like unclean, it would be like if the person has some
  • [41:42] Mike: kind of strange look or something, you know, they don't
  • [41:46] Mike: look normal, I wouldn't that would probably be bad maybe give you a night
  • [41:49] Keith: require more money if they were
  • [41:52] Keith: uglier.
  • [41:59] Mike: Yeah, probably that's probably right, that's probably, you know, and maybe this is exactly the same calculation like female prostitutes make probably is
  • [42:01] Mike: uh huh
  • [42:07] Mike: But I just think that I I still think they have a bigger decision to make because it's happening inside their body, not external to it. I think
  • [42:12] Keith: that that's a good analogy actually. So female prostitutes,
  • [42:14] Keith: why should they care?
  • [42:15] Keith: I mean,
  • [42:17] Keith: shouldn't I mean if if they're not,
  • [42:23] Keith: I don't know, maybe maybe there is some amount of every sexual encounter that like
  • [42:30] Keith: attraction matters even if it's, you know, even if you're hetero and it's a homosexual experience or vice versa.
  • [42:34] Mike: I mean if somebody was going to, let's say that I was a celebrity
  • [42:42] Mike: and I had one of those charity deals where somebody would pay money to have lunch with me, like I would prefer it not be somebody who's like disgusting looking.
  • [42:48] Mike: I mean, it's just that like, I don't want to stand in the elevator with someone who stinks. I mean like, so it's just basic like human cleanliness,
  • [42:59] Keith: But I mean like how much of a premium, like, let's say it's an ugly person for $800 or Ryan gosling for $700. Like,
  • [43:02] Keith: like how much does that matter?
  • [43:07] Mike: Yeah, I mean, it's it's like a sliding scale depending on how disgusting, right? Yes. I mean, of course, like people would be willing to
  • [43:13] Mike: tolerate almost anything for almost unlimited amount of money, but like it just depends,
  • [43:14] Mike: it's not that interesting. It's just
  • [43:17] Keith: right. And then the other angle here,
  • [43:21] Mike: we've already talked about the company would help too, by the way, a condom would make it better
  • [43:31] Mike: condom would make it almost like because I mean that's the other thing is like, it's like, I mean I've thought about this before, it's like, okay, so like you have like glory hole, okay,
  • [43:41] Mike: I always bring up glory holes. Glory holes are good because they're like, they're like, see Gloria was there like philosophers for example, have these like, stock things they bring up to help, like illuminate
  • [43:53] Mike: questions. And like glory holes are a really good stock example that you can bring up for sexual things because it removes the personalities of the people involved any way you could have a glory hole, a traditional glory hole with like the person in the box getting spooned on or whatever.
  • [43:59] Mike: Then you can have glory hole with condom, but then you can imagine like a glory hole where your side of the glory hole actually has like
  • [44:04] Mike: rubber tube. So like you're actually hermetically sealed off from the other side, if that makes sense? Like in other words, you're
  • [44:11] Mike: you put your penis in this thing, but it's not just that you use a condom on your penis is literally that the condom is attached to the wall of the glory hole. So like your penis is not
  • [44:25] Mike: really in the same space as the other person, is they're just rubbing you and then you can imagine like, well what if it was like, instead of that, it was like a machine, they control the machine with their hand and mouth that made that just rubbed your cock at exactly the same pace, right? So you're sort of like
  • [44:36] Mike: detaching further and further and like there must be a point like I think almost no man could say like let's say that machine existed and it was like I could go on the internet, I could buy one of these things like the tenga egg that you're
  • [44:43] Mike: girlfriend's been buying and it's like a thing that plug in the USB port on my computer and lets people beat me off.
  • [44:50] Mike: But I can tell it's them right? That it has like it has five fingers and so forth. I can tell it's them. Would I actually care if it was a dude beating me off?
  • [44:54] Mike: You shouldn't think I would care, but you wouldn't know it was like you can get it too
  • [45:03] Mike: right? So you can get to a point where it doesn't matter. And so that's really what's going on here is like, look, I don't want to have sex with a man. But if you can like abstract enough and the thing about it is that
  • [45:13] Mike: um getting a blow is already pretty abstract for a man in a way that sex is never I think for a woman but for a man like getting a blow is like or getting a hand job is pretty like
  • [45:18] Mike: hands off. Like I didn't have to like touch their cock. You know, we didn't have to interact with their mouth
  • [45:23] Mike: with my mouth with something. I didn't have to really do anything. It's just anyway.
  • [45:30] Keith: Yeah, I think I would do this now. You didn't ask, but I'm going to offer. I think I would do this now for about $2,000.
  • [45:31] Mike: Really?
  • [45:34] Mike: So if somebody came to you with to ground
  • [45:42] Mike: a guy, so maybe I could try to find a guy who's willing to do that for. I could pay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you're saying that I could
  • [45:48] Mike: Let's just reframe this. You're saying that I can turn you gay for $2,000. I would do that.
  • [45:50] Keith: It doesn't turn me gay
  • [45:51] Keith: that money is for.
  • [45:53] Keith: So,
  • [45:55] Mike: so you're saying that
  • [45:59] Mike: you're well, I'm just, I think that most people would say,
  • [46:04] Mike: but it does. So so you're saying that as you sit there really have had a
  • [46:10] Keith: gay experience, but that doesn't make I find something like if I could just keep, it doesn't make me gay.
  • [46:12] Mike: I was willing to pay
  • [46:32] Mike: on the order of that amount of money for that oil painting I wanted to have painted of you masturbating while watching Lebron James play basketball right? Which I could never find an artist for, by the way, even though I was willing to pay good money. Um so it turns out if I had known at that time that I could pay that same amount of money to somebody to turn you into a gay man.
  • [46:33] Mike: Uh
  • [46:34] Mike: I would have done that.
  • [46:37] Keith: Yeah. Well,
  • [46:38] Mike: I think the number
  • [46:50] Keith: Might save your money. Like I don't know. I mean the problem is, you know, for that $2,000, I'm assuming that the person is clean and safe and those kinds of things and and that's hard to do for that amount of money.
  • [46:51] Mike: Like
  • [46:56] Mike: you can rent you a nice Airbnb. There's never any cameras in Airbnb? S.
  • [47:00] Keith: That's right. Never. Uh
  • [47:10] Keith: Yeah, I just like the disease risk is more than $2,000 worth a lot more than $2,000 to me. So like I'd have to be convinced that this person is
  • [47:15] Keith: is safe and I don't know how, I don't know how you get that done for that kind of money.
  • [47:16] Mike: I'll work on it.
  • [47:21] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. We we can get this talked about this off there. Sure.
  • [47:26] Keith: Uh Okay, let's see, what else do I have here
  • [47:35] Keith: uh We were talking about. Okay. Yeah, we should probably go through these two about
  • [47:38] Keith: people masturbating in front of each other.
  • [47:41] Keith: So do you think I should read both of these or should I read one of them first
  • [47:50] Mike: and then. Sure. I mean there's an element of uh it's really light but there's an element of like non consent to one of them, but I think it's fine.
  • [47:54] Keith: Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So trigger warning for some folks out there.
  • [47:57] Mike: I don't care about triggering people. I just thought I'd say it.
  • [48:00] Mike: I hope we trigger you?
  • [48:09] Keith: I'm sorry for being kind. I take it back immediately. This was actually the current. Haven't you ever heard of flooding therapy? If we trigger you enough times you'll get better.
  • [48:09] Mike: I thought that was
  • [48:13] Keith: called immersion therapy called flooding therapy. Now,
  • [48:23] Mike: flooding. I thought it was always called flooding immersion is like when you learn a foreign language by moving a place and just immersing yourself maybe in a same idea submersion anyway.
  • [48:28] Keith: Yeah, I thought admiration therapy is like, you're afraid of spiders. So you
  • [48:32] Keith: hang out with spider has a lot or something or you don't like, so you
  • [48:34] Keith: right, right, a
  • [48:38] Mike: gun. So he, he's afraid of getting blows from men. So he's going to immerse
  • [48:43] Keith: himself. I'm just gonna have won three times a day for a month and we'll see where I am.
  • [48:47] Mike: Okay after the Folsom Street Fair.
  • [49:02] Keith: Uh, so guy, I hooked up with masturbated to finish after we had sex. Hey y'all, I hooked up with this guy and I thought things were going well, but he didn't come. We used protection. So I thought he'd just finished inside me, but it took a long time and it didn't seem to happen, felt like he wanted to, but didn't manage.
  • [49:16] Keith: So I just laid on the bed after a while because I was getting sore and we started making out any masturbated and came while kissing me now in a way it was hot to be honest. But at the same time, I wonder if there was something about me slash the way I feel that wasn't enough to get him off.
  • [49:21] Keith: I don't want to spiral into some insecurity. So I really appreciate some in point our ideas about what might be the reason
  • [49:23] Keith: and what I could do differently next time.
  • [49:28] Mike: Uh So the really big tell there that I really enjoyed.
  • [49:32] Mike: Uh is is there something about me or the way I feel?
  • [49:35] Mike: So the way you feel as a woman
  • [49:48] Mike: has nothing to do with whether the guy ejaculate. It's like your feet. He can't, first of all you can't see or in any real way experience your feelings. And secondly for men it's much more mechanical than that. This guy, obviously
  • [49:53] Mike: this guy obviously just has death grip, he has like a way that he beats off and it's hard for him to nut.
  • [50:05] Keith: Yeah, I mean there's a number of things that could have something that's the most likely, but I mean it's also possible that he masturbated like four times earlier that day or maybe he was very, you know, there's there's other there's other things but
  • [50:10] Keith: yeah, mostly it sounds like this was yeah, it sounds like this was their first sexual interaction.
  • [50:23] Mike: Yeah, she says I don't think like if there was there's something wrong with you if you're a woman and you're having sex, there's something wrong with you the way that will manifest much more likely. Although not always would be something like loss of arousal for the guy.
  • [50:25] Mike: Like he's not,
  • [50:41] Mike: Yeah, if you just can't nut, it's going to be the things keith set like various problems like he's already beat off 10 times that day or he has some way of beating off. That's hard to simulate and he needs to like cut it out. Which those are kind of similar, right? So yeah. Um
  • [50:49] Keith: Yeah, I mean we've discussed this before, I don't think if you gave me like 10 of my ex's vaginas and asked me which one was which
  • [50:54] Keith: blinded like if I saw them, I could tell the difference, but if I was just like,
  • [50:57] Keith: you know, balls deep in them, I don't think I could tell whose was his?
  • [51:01] Mike: Oh sure, but there's but there's okay. Yes, that's true. But like
  • [51:09] Mike: let's say you're having missionary sex and the woman is not all, she could be in the face department or whatever.
  • [51:15] Mike: Uh there could be a moment or there could be many moments during that sexual encounter where you're kind of like
  • [51:22] Mike: this isn't working for me, I'm not aroused enough. I mean like the feeling of the penis sliding is great but like
  • [51:29] Mike: yeah, if you're actually repulsed for whatever reason, by the way she looks, that could be a problem. She can also do something. Like there could be something,
  • [51:37] Mike: it's not likely to be emotional, but there could be something, she says something, she says absolutely. Like she says something that reminds you of your mom or something or things that could happen and you're like, oh, that's
  • [51:39] Keith: whatever.
  • [51:52] Mike: Yeah, sure. I mean, there could be something very physical like that. So it is possible. It's not just uh I was just pushing back against the idea that it's just like the physical sensation in the vagina. That's not exactly it. Farting is okay
  • [51:55] Keith: by the way I was. That's just an example.
  • [51:57] Mike: Not okay at all. It's not okay.
  • [51:58] Mike: What
  • [52:02] Keith: I've been able to plow through it before.
  • [52:09] Mike: I recommend you get one of those butt plugs that is metal on the part that goes in and has either a tail, like a pig tail or a
  • [52:21] Mike: fox or a kitty tail and you jam one of those up there and then look, if you're worried about it and if you're worried about something slipping by, you can just put a little bit, a little bit of Krazy glue around it
  • [52:23] Mike: and that will seal it tight.
  • [52:28] Keith: Yeah, I mean, if you're not doing that then, do you really care about your man?
  • [52:31] Mike: Well, if you know that you have a problem with flatulence,
  • [52:33] Mike: depends what you had a diet,
  • [52:38] Keith: you know, burritos with beans in it for dinner,
  • [52:38] Keith: right?
  • [52:50] Keith: Yeah, you can have exactly for these things. All right. So anyway, so this person masturbates after they had sex. I can, I can see this happening. I have a friend who told me that she was hooking up with somebody
  • [52:57] Keith: and I think she got annoyed with him or something or basically she told him to get off of her
  • [53:01] Keith: and so we did. But then he just like,
  • [53:05] Keith: uh like put his arm around her and then like started jerking off
  • [53:08] Keith: and she was like,
  • [53:11] Keith: what are you doing? And he was like, oh, I'm just going to jerk off now since
  • [53:17] Keith: I can't finish with you. And she asked him to stop and I think he kept going.
  • [53:18] Keith: She
  • [53:21] Mike: was a little, well, I mean, hang on, assault that situation.
  • [53:25] Keith: Okay. But I'm sure you have some thoughts here. Yes, go on.
  • [53:31] Mike: She's being a little unfair. She's being a little unfair. I mean the man in that situation in a little
  • [53:33] Mike: like, okay, there's no reason
  • [53:45] Mike: why she has to participate at all in this activity. Of course I agree with that. Like she should be able to leave the room, she should be able to ask him to leave the room but telling him like, hey, just be uncomfortable for the next two days because
  • [53:48] Mike: your body was expecting you to nut. Like
  • [53:54] Mike: whatever happens where you get blue balls, like that's just ridiculous. It's like, look, just tell him to go to the bathroom and finish it out.
  • [54:04] Mike: If he, if he feels like he needs to, it depends on where they were in the act, but it's like that's not, it's a little unreasonable to be like, oh now I'm gonna put on a chastity cage or whatever unless he, you know,
  • [54:06] Mike: wants to do that.
  • [54:08] Keith: Sure. Yeah. I mean, I don't remember
  • [54:12] Keith: the specifics here, like why she told him to get off and
  • [54:21] Mike: he probably just thought he probably thought in the moment like oh she's just saying she wants to end that particular inning of the activity, not like all activity and Sure. Sure.
  • [54:26] Keith: Sure. Sure. Yeah. I think mitigating variables here, but yeah, like like
  • [54:28] Keith: go ahead, you're not allowed to have an orgasm
  • [54:30] Keith: is not
  • [54:37] Mike: entirely, but I would put it strong. I would put it stronger more strongly than that. Maybe this is something that women in general don't understand. Like if a guy,
  • [54:41] Mike: if a guy has had his penis in you for more than
  • [54:47] Mike: a few minutes, let's call it five minutes. He's gonna need a nut sometime in the next hour
  • [54:56] Mike: most. Almost certainly otherwise he's going to be pretty uncomfortable and like it's just a physical reality. And like as I said, doesn't mean you have to be involved in any way you can leave
  • [55:10] Mike: that's totally fine. But tell us do that is ridiculous. It's like saying you have to have a headache now. It's like come on, that's just silly. Like let him go do this business. It's like he just needs to go to the bathroom basically. That's what we're talking about here anyway.
  • [55:13] Keith: Yeah, okay. All right, let's go to the next
  • [55:14] Keith: master pitcher topic here,
  • [55:18] Keith: Uh Friend masturbated in front of me without my consent.
  • [55:26] Keith: Hey guys, basically my friend and I are both females and I have a virtual reality headset. It is fully immersive and so naturally I use it to watch porn. Have
  • [55:29] Mike: you tried? Sounds like have you tried to have it? I
  • [55:41] Mike: I have not tried VR porn. I don't have one of these devices partly because the primary one is made by facebook and facebook is not a company that I enjoy doing business with in any way.
  • [55:41] Mike: Um
  • [55:47] Keith: If you close your facebook account, did you know you can't log into Oculus? You can't use Oculus without a facebook account.
  • [56:02] Mike: Yeah. I don't I don't close I have a few friends that I used the messenger app or whatever to talk to so I don't close it for that reason. But I I never go there like I don't just go and peruse facebook like I literally never do like zero last year on that.
  • [56:03] Mike: Um
  • [56:23] Mike: But but anyway that actually does you say oh this doesn't matter if the device were made by a company that we're not Facebook. I would be I might have I probably would have won because I can afford to buy something like that just to see how the tech works. But like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give Mark Zuckerberg $600 or whatever. I just won't. So that's it. So loggerheads.
  • [56:30] Keith: The pixel phones came with a VR headset. I remember it's the pixel two or the pixel three but it came with one
  • [56:34] Keith: and I was excited for this very reason.
  • [56:38] Keith: Um But and and on porn hub there are
  • [56:40] Keith: some videos that
  • [56:41] Keith: are
  • [56:50] Keith: VR compatible but for some reason my headset wasn't like I don't know if it has to be Oculus or one of the other major VR headset makers. I don't know if there
  • [56:53] Mike: are. Is there another one? I don't know. I don't think it really is.
  • [57:13] Keith: Yeah. All right we're sidetracked here. My friend came over last night and saw my VR set and asked if I ever watched porn on it. I told her yes and she asked if she could see what it's like and I was happy to show her I put on a video for her and she put the headset on and gave a reaction of amazement but then she started watching it for a little too long, expected her to take the headset off after a minute
  • [57:17] Keith: but after a few minutes of her still having it on she started masturbating
  • [57:24] Keith: when she took the headset off. I did my best to appear unfazed. I just stared at the tv pretending like nothing happened and a few hours later she went home
  • [57:31] Keith: I feel super awkward about it today and I'm wondering if this type of thing is standard if I set myself up for this or how I should handle it.
  • [57:36] Mike: Yeah I don't know it's that this is an interesting thing. I mean, obviously we can just dispense with the fact like, this is like
  • [57:40] Mike: a guy would really like to be the, you know,
  • [57:41] Mike: Yeah.
  • [57:56] Mike: You know, you have a female friend over that's just a platonic friend or whatever that may be, is normally attractive, not, you know, whatever, like, and you give her a VR head said she's like, oh, and then starts masturbating like this beginning of like a great sounds like a great evening for a guy. Exactly, but
  • [58:00] Mike: I don't like, so this is one of those situations where it's like
  • [58:02] Mike: the opposite of the thing with the
  • [58:08] Mike: uh blowjob thing where a blow job can be very impersonal for a guy. Like if they're two guys,
  • [58:09] Mike: their friends or whatever,
  • [58:11] Mike: and this would never happen
  • [58:19] Mike: is the point because first of all, for a guy to masturbate, he basically has to pull his cock out and so guys aren't gonna pull their erect cock out, like
  • [58:36] Mike: it's fairly common for men to see each other, like in the locker room with a flaccid penis, but not common for men to see each other with an erect penis, like very uncommon, right? So, uh this would never happen, whereas for a woman, the difference, there are few differences, like, women maybe have a tendency to
  • [58:42] Mike: hold hands sometimes, like just friends, like they're they're a little closer in some ways, there's less kind of weird sexual
  • [58:44] Mike: sort of,
  • [58:51] Mike: what's the word, like a competition, but secondly like she could masturbate completely over her clothes,
  • [58:56] Mike: right? And so like I don't know what's the culture around this like, so so I'm imagining this, I'm imagining she remains clothes and she just
  • [58:59] Mike: yeah, she's just sort of like rubbing her crotch a little bit
  • [59:06] Mike: and so it doesn't seem necessarily as off putting. This woman obviously found it very off putting. But to me it's like, well is that really?
  • [59:12] Mike: Yeah, I don't know, maybe she just does that when she finds something arousing and it's not, I mean she didn't finish, she didn't climax.
  • [59:18] Keith: Yeah, I mean the first comment is you know what the funny bro would have worked just fine, like it's sort of weird but
  • [59:21] Keith: like she started doing
  • [59:29] Mike: that but I'm saying like look look there are plenty of women, I saw a porn the other day that was a woman masturbating by squeezing her legs together.
  • [59:37] Mike: So when you say even like this is the point is like when a guy starts beating off, like it's really obvious, there's no way to hide it.
  • [59:42] Mike: There's just no way to hide it. Like it's like it's a guy beating off when when a woman is doing this like
  • [59:48] Mike: I'm not even sure like yeah I mean like we got women have the advantage that they can do this kind of privately and so I'm not sure
  • [59:53] Mike: because look, she's just gonna if she if you said to her, hey what are you doing? Stop it.
  • [59:55] Mike: She probably just be like what? I wasn't doing anything
  • [59:59] Mike: because it's not obvious. You can't prove she was masturbating with a guy who could
  • [60:12] Keith: Yeah, I need to ask like a set of three questions here to understand whether something weird was done here. Like are they lesbians, have they ever talked about that? Does she think that she was trying to entice her
  • [60:14] Keith: or was she just,
  • [60:16] Keith: you know
  • [60:19] Keith: overwhelmed by the VR stuff?
  • [60:23] Keith: Yeah. It's sort of different if she was trying to make a move.
  • [60:26] Keith: Yeah. I don't know.
  • [60:26] Keith: I
  • [60:27] Mike: don't know.
  • [60:30] Mike: I don't think I would be, I would wager like, okay,
  • [60:36] Mike: I don't know anything about like how I really know nothing about how gay
  • [60:38] Mike: men transition from
  • [60:44] Mike: make the transition from like sort of like hanging out after a date or
  • [60:52] Mike: you know, they're just hey having a drink together, how the transition from that to sex works. But I imagine that it might involve just one of them pulling his cock out
  • [60:59] Mike: because men are men. It sounds like whatever. I'm very skeptical that lesbian women transition
  • [61:19] Mike: to sex by one of them starting masturbating. I believe, I strongly suspect that they start out by like doing a whole bunch of like cuddly bullshit. Like you know, like I'm gonna rub your hair and you know right? Like I'm just, it's really hard for me to imagine women just being like, oh now because there's nothing to whip out for starters, like it's not that exciting.
  • [61:30] Mike: Exactly. So it's like, so I don't, so I don't even think it's credible that this would be a come on, it's just purely like, like that's the thing is I don't think that the woman doing it would even think anything of it necessarily.
  • [61:34] Mike: She, yeah, she just lost track of what was going on and like
  • [61:40] Mike: because masturbating is not a big, like doesn't has no, not much outward signs, she just forgot that someone could tell she was doing it.
  • [61:43] Keith: Yeah, I think
  • [61:44] Keith: now that you put it
  • [61:49] Mike: that you do, you know how do you know how gay men make that transition
  • [61:52] Mike: Or do I have to spend to $2,000 to learn? I
  • [61:58] Keith: mean I know I've told you this story before, I was in Italy and
  • [62:00] Keith: I met this guy at a cafe
  • [62:01] Keith: and
  • [62:09] Keith: he was like, oh you know, I'll show you around town. And he had like you mentioned that he was married and then he invited me over for lunch and he said,
  • [62:13] Keith: my wife will will make us lunch. I'm like, okay.
  • [62:14] Keith: And
  • [62:22] Keith: so we get up into his apartment and he like goes to the bathroom or something and I'm like looking out the window
  • [62:27] Keith: and then he comes back into the room, he's completely naked, fully erect and like
  • [62:35] Keith: the goose's me what that is, It's like he reached in underneath, he was behind me, reached in underneath and grabbed my dick
  • [62:36] Keith: and
  • [62:42] Mike: so he was behind you when you say underneath you reach through your legs or around your torso,
  • [62:45] Keith: like he like bent over a little bit to get the angle or whatever.
  • [62:48] Mike: Anyway, that your music was out to. What
  • [62:52] Keith: was your deal? I was close, it wasn't out. Sorry, he grabbed my crotch through my jeans.
  • [62:57] Mike: How big was his penis?
  • [63:04] Keith: I'm pausing because I don't remember trying to think, I feel figure out if I have anything repressed her. No, I don't remember,
  • [63:15] Mike: I feel like that would be a really okay for me. That would be a real memory. That would, I would remember because it would be such a striking thing. I don't know how many men's erect penises have you seen in your life in real life?
  • [63:19] Keith: I think I can count on one finger maybe. I don't even remember.
  • [63:21] Mike: I know, I know, you know, it's at
  • [63:24] Keith: least 2111111.
  • [63:29] Keith: Yeah, I'm trying to think because you mentioned this a little bit earlier, I don't remember,
  • [63:31] Keith: I can't remember any.
  • [63:37] Mike: So this is your other erect penis you've seen and you can't remember how big it is, that's not okay, incredible
  • [63:44] Keith: the way you're saying this makes, it's very suspicious. I remember, I really
  • [63:51] Mike: wasn't surprisingly well I would think it would, what I would think would happen is in that scenario thing is I don't think I've ever
  • [63:56] Mike: oh no, I have one time I was running on the beach in san Francisco and this dude
  • [64:01] Mike: came out from behind these rocks, like beckoning me and here's the thing I remember it and here's what I noticed
  • [64:02] Mike: is that
  • [64:10] Mike: when it's not your penis when it's someone else and it's in real life and erect penis looks really big, you know,
  • [64:11] Keith: big or something.
  • [64:17] Mike: I was and I ran a little faster and kind of went like, way, like, no, it's a little pep in your school about
  • [64:18] Keith: it. Yeah, North
  • [64:20] Mike: North. He was also the thing that you could,
  • [64:22] Mike: he could make the cock bounce. He was bouncing it.
  • [64:26] Keith: Oh, nice. You were not impressed.
  • [64:29] Mike: I was impressed. I was very impressed. He was shaped the way you want.
  • [64:30] Keith: Yeah,
  • [64:34] Mike: I did not want to play with his penis. No, I wanted to run away.
  • [64:44] Keith: Now that you mention that I have seen erect penises at bay to breakers or sometimes if you're like walking through the castro, there's men that are like fully nude
  • [64:45] Mike: and erect.
  • [64:49] Keith: Yeah. Oh, and there was that time I went to the Folsom Street Fair
  • [64:52] Keith: and yeah, okay, I've seen erect penises in real life a few times.
  • [64:56] Mike: So that's why maybe by comparison this guys was nondescript
  • [65:00] Keith: used to and that was like a big, they don't leave a big imprint on me like it seems to for you.
  • [65:04] Mike: Um it does for me because I'm afraid.
  • [65:05] Keith: Yeah,
  • [65:08] Mike: okay, I don't want it to be in my body.
  • [65:18] Keith: I don't either. But okay. Anyway, so the reason why I brought up the story is, yeah, I mean that guy was just like maximally aggressive, like he pretended to be heterosexual, invited me to his apartment
  • [65:23] Keith: and then it was like, surprised this is what we're doing now
  • [65:29] Keith: and I left immediately. And I remember, I think, I don't know if you remember me telling you this story before, but
  • [65:41] Keith: he said the first thing he said was, but you're wearing a pink shirt, which is true. I was wearing like a pink shirt. I don't know if that's like particularly meaningful in italy or if he's just
  • [65:44] Keith: buying into the trope that only gay men wear pink shirts.
  • [65:46] Keith: I have not worn much pick sense by the way.
  • [65:51] Mike: At least you didn't say, but you look super gay.
  • [66:05] Keith: I mean, he's basically flying that with the big shirt comment and then as I was like running down the stairs, he like hollers, not even a blow job and I don't know if he wanted me to give him one or he was offering to give me one. But anyway,
  • [66:13] Keith: this is a very long winded way of saying yes. I think men are much more aggressive in initiating overtly sexual
  • [66:15] Keith: of machinations than women are.
  • [66:24] Mike: Okay. So yeah, so, so probably my notion that the guy just one of the guys just pulls his cock out is right, and in women they probably don't, and so this person probably should not have,
  • [66:29] Mike: it's a little unreasonable for this person. It's more of a social faux pas than thinking this person's coming onto them.
  • [66:31] Keith: Yeah, I think that
  • [66:36] Keith: would be my guess here, but I mean, we only have, like seven sentences of information here, so we're just speculating
  • [66:41] Mike: uh it was enough information to make me slightly horny.
  • [66:44] Mike: I like the story. I liked the scenario. I like the idea
  • [66:51] Keith: of her being overwhelmed by the quality of the VR porn reminded me that that's something I want to check out.
  • [66:56] Mike: Well, I was thinking about just the notion of a woman overwhelmed by porn being kind of hot. But yeah,
  • [66:59] Mike: both both both are good.