Your Mileage May Vary: Melon shape, penetration while sleeping, the fairness of oral asymmetries, emotionally dealing with a tape of your partner's past exploits

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[0:08] Mike: Okay, So if a girl give you a blowjob, you would expect to give more than one return aural sects experience to the woman.
[0:11] Keith: I think that would be reasonable. I think that would be reasonable. Expectation.
[0:16] Mike: Interesting. I'm okay. I am. I am surprised that you're taking that your take would be the opposite. Which is that
[0:25] Keith: No, no, no, no, not at all. Because I think that there's a There's a couple reasons I think that one is that, uh is that I think that, like giving a blow is
[0:35] Keith: like, actually factually more more effort and maybe a bit grocer, Probably a bit gross. Oh, yeah. And, uh, I think having someone else,
[0:38] Keith: I think having the fluid all come out at once. His grocer is
[0:39] Mike: worse than trickling up.
[0:43] Keith: It's Yeah, it's It's more, more of a gift. I think that I
[0:45] Mike: would the fluid in one case and you can't really and the other
[1:11] Keith: Well, you know, I I've made that argument before, but then the counter argument that's been made back to me is that, you know, actually, the Penis generates fluid throughout the act, especially when you're if you're beating off like I don't know. Actually, that's an interesting question. When you're beating off.
[1:12] Keith: Hello and welcome to
[1:19] Mike: your mileage may vary. Your mileage may vary is a show that takes an overly candid and hopefully entertaining look. It matters related to sex.
[1:40] Mike: What we do here is we live topics relating to sex from reddit. Our own experiences are friends and so forth, and we chatter about them until we think we have the subject properly mediated. There's something you'd like us to discuss. Go ahead and tweet us or D, Emma said. Y M M v a HUD. Email us at Y M m B pod at gmail dot com, or drop us a note on our Facebook page.
[1:43] Mike: If you like the show, it's super helpful for us
[1:47] Mike: if you leave reviews on iTunes, so don't be shy.
[1:56] Mike: Okay, Mike, this is our 10th episode. Do you have any reflections to share as we celebrate this ignominious occasion?
[2:00] Keith: Well, I mean, I think we have it pretty much all figured out, don't you?
[2:03] Keith: The sex thing? Yeah, we're doing a great job.
[2:08] Mike: Yeah, we definitely are. We're going to start repeating topics, I guess, because we've basically covered the
[2:10] Keith: entire gamut.
[2:22] Keith: No, no, no. That's not true. There's Ah, there. That's one thing about this, uh, this area's there's sort of an unlimited, an amazingly unlimited. Ah, set of topics. People come up with crazy stuff.
[3:05] Mike: Yeah, it's interesting. Like, I did have some concern that we would run out of stuff to talk about, but, uh, yeah, not not even close. Are you okay? I'm gonna get into the first topic here. I don't know. We haven't talked about boobs much on this show and so that we would we would start here in Syria goes. Okay, so this is from the sex subreddit. This person says they're very embarrassed of their boobs. It is a 16 year old female. She says my boobs are too big and disgustingly floppy, shapeless and asymmetrical. When I lay on my back, they literally flattened like pancakes and slide under my arms. How could I ever show these to anybody? I feel uncomfortable feeling them myself, let alone showing them to my boyfriend. Is there any treatment or is it just jeans?
[3:08] Mike: Um,
[3:12] Mike: I Well, okay, first off. Ah,
[3:20] Mike: I think large boobs just basically are kind of floppy, right? Like is there such thing as, like, super pert large moves?
[3:29] Keith: No, I mean, I think that there I think there could be like, uh, a difference in terms of, like, Thea underlying structure a little bit.
[3:32] Keith: They could be firmer or a softer.
[3:35] Mike: What's going on there? Like what controls from this?
[3:36] Keith: I don't know.
[3:39] Keith: I mean, I think it would be, you know, it's
[3:45] Keith: It's the underlying structure, right? I mean, amount of fat versus, like, other tissues in there.
[3:57] Mike: I think it's mostly fat for everybody. It so it's like, yet has to be, like, how connected the fat tissue is or some weird thing. But yeah, you can imagine, like, you know, like if you felt like a bunch of different peoples thighs like they would be marveled in different ways.
[4:01] Keith: Yeah, I mean, but I think as a general rule,
[4:10] Keith: I think this ah woman's experience is probably pretty normal. And one of the things that probably colors your experience is the fact that she's comparing herself to women in porn,
[4:10] Keith: and
[4:12] Mike: they are magazines more.
[4:20] Keith: Yeah, and the thing about that is that like some very large majority of women in those situations of that implants
[4:38] Keith: And there's an interesting thing, she says in this somewhere in the threat about this. She's complaining about the fact that when she lies on her back, like the sort of disappear because the boobs, like go under asides or whatever they factor sort of migrates around. But my understanding is that's normal, right? And I think people people support that
[4:47] Keith: thought in the in the threat. But if you watch porn or whatever, like when women lie on their back, that almost never happens just sort of a giveaway.
[4:52] Keith: So you mean so it's to the point where, like, actually, I think that most men,
[4:57] Keith: I guess, and most women like, like, basically have a completely irrational view of what what's normal in that
[4:57] Mike: area?
[5:01] Mike: Let me ask a question here. Is it
[5:08] Mike: mildly unattractive to watch boobs sort of flop out to the side like that?
[5:09] Mike: I
[5:11] Keith: think that I mean, it's about yeah, don't you think
[5:14] Mike: I think it is a little bit Yeah, which is unfortunate.
[5:20] Keith: Yeah. I mean, it's but partly because you have an expectation set that's created by, like, videos. You've seen
[5:30] Mike: stuff. Okay, so, yeah, is that why? Like theirs? It's not innate to feel that way. It's just that, like I've been exposed to so much fake perfection, that my expectations are worked
[5:46] Keith: well. But there's another thing here, which is like part. Part of the difficulty is actually created by non enhanced women themselves. Because what is, like what is your normal when you think of like breasts? Like what? What is the normal kind of showcase that you expect? The more you're
[5:49] Mike: always in a broad like pinched together and right
[5:57] Keith: and the woman standing upright or sitting right And so there's a certain, like kind of way and frankly, like, uh,
[6:13] Keith: paintings, statues like this. I mean, this is like an age old thing like this is how they want to be portrayed. This is their home is, ah, woman standing upright or upright? Um, and there's not a whole lot of like art or whatever depicting this particular situation.
[6:16] Keith: And by the way, like there's a similar thing that happens
[6:23] Keith: that can't happen. Happens if the woman is lying down, but or maybe some sort of on her hands and knees, right?
[6:25] Mike: Well,
[6:32] Mike: they're not. They they hang down in a certain way. What? How is that similar.
[6:47] Keith: Well, it's not. I mean, it's in some ways, it's the opposite, right, because instead of flattening out, you wind up with kind of a a a a shape that's more narrow, correct. It's kind of okay, that tubular Yes, one might use the word tubular.
[7:00] Keith: And I've many times seen women online who complain because they say, Well, you know, they're uncomfortable with the way with the way they look in that situation and even in like in, like, amateur porn, you'll see women kind of try to hold them,
[7:05] Keith: control them, maybe to make it to that. So they're a little bit more pushed up against her body in that position.
[7:06] Mike: Yeah,
[7:08] Mike: yeah, I guess
[7:17] Mike: my thoughts on this or that, Yeah. I mean, I guess it's mildly in perfect that they sort of flip out to the sides and hang down comically
[7:24] Mike: when they're on their hands and knees. But it's It's also kind of cool to see, like the natural way. But
[7:29] Mike: because it's like, so unusual, it's it's, I don't know. It's a little bit neat to see. Actually,
[7:31] Mike: I'm not sure if it's actually a turnoff for me. It's just something to
[7:36] Keith: note are you saying? It's, like, need to see in a sort of a scientific way.
[7:36] Keith: I
[7:39] Mike: guess I owe.
[7:45] Mike: Yeah, I guess. It's just I think it's not unattractive to me. It's just different.
[7:57] Keith: Let me let me see this expectation. If you're with a woman and she's lying on her back like that, and this is happening, do you find the urge or you Do you sometimes find yourself sort of gathering them together with your hands to, like, put them back the way that you want
[8:02] Mike: to? Yes, but, I mean, that's just sort of fun. Generally, I'm not sure if I'm doing that just cause
[8:07] Mike: but you can't push him further down to the side like that. You know, the way to go is sort of up in the end. At that point, there might
[8:13] Keith: be some guys where that's like a fetish they want to sort of like, Look, I'm gonna flatten this Adam to spread them out
[8:17] Keith: with these with these nipples as far apart as they can get.
[8:21] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Tell us your thoughts tweet us at why. Mm, Peapod?
[8:40] Mike: Uh, yeah. There was one other thing that came out of this threat that I thought would be interesting to point out there is a subreddit called normal nudes. So just reddit dot com slash our slash normal nudes. All one word and people posts a bunch of pictures of themselves naked at RO. Who's posting these pictures?
[8:49] Keith: I haven't been on there in a while. I'm assuming you went recently for research purposes. Yes. Is it mostly women, Mostly men 50 50? What's the
[8:57] Mike: I mean, I looked at the top when you sort by top. I mean, of course it's all women. Sure, sure, right. So, um
[9:00] Mike: yeah, it's mostly women. And
[9:09] Mike: but you do get like a huge variety. Like here's a woman who's £211. Here's one who's 5 to 1 55 You get like, this whole rage of age away like
[9:12] Keith: there's not a lot of variety there. Those were both too probably overweight people, right?
[9:17] Mike: Well, here's what The 42 year olds, 1 36 and 57 So she's
[9:18] Keith: well, the 1st 2 you
[9:26] Mike: mentioned. But the point is, they're not. They're not supermodels right there. Not 5 10 1105 for
[9:29] Mike: supermodel ways. I have no idea. Um,
[9:31] Mike: and so
[9:39] Mike: Yeah, Just sort of interesting to peruse and, like, see some of these more unusual things. And, yeah, like, here's someone who's £200. Let's take a look here.
[9:45] Mike: Yeah. I mean, I don't know, this isn't great, but, uh, it's normal, I guess.
[9:45] Mike: Uh,
[9:47] Keith: I got a look at this now.
[9:49] Mike: Yeah, I heard. You want me to send it?
[9:51] Keith: I got it. I got it. I got it.
[9:56] Keith: Yeah, I mean, so So, yeah, I noticed that there were blocking out their faces. That's smart.
[10:14] Mike: Yes. Many of them are blocking out their faces, but, uh, for starters, is that enough? I mean, I don't know, like if I saw a person that could I'd see naked and I saw them with it. I saw that same body without a head. I would I would definitely have a positive i d on it.
[10:17] Mike: And who are they hiding from? If not people they know you think so?
[10:20] Keith: You think that if you think that you could identify
[10:28] Keith: a woman without her head? I guess so. Although I think you I think it's about more possible than you think that you could get tricked.
[10:29] Keith: Yeah, about that.
[10:37] Mike: Maybe You're right. I mean, yeah. I mean, obviously, if there's a scar tattoo that that makes it dispositive, But if there's not, um,
[10:38] Mike: I can't say much
[10:45] Keith: on the front page of this, though. 90% of these people are men. I've clicked seven men so far.
[10:46] Mike: Really? None of them
[10:57] Keith: have erect penises, but they all seem to be in areas that have a warm climate, because maybe no, I guess I always associate its see. It's the opposite of shrinkage, Right? I associate
[11:02] Keith: sort of your Penis being kind of elongated but not erect with, Yeah, warm climate,
[11:17] Mike: I If I were to take a picture of myself to post a nude of myself to the Internet, I would definitely I think I would not want my Penis to erect and I would not want it to be right after a run in the cold or something. I would think I would do what these men have done.
[11:20] Keith: Okay, So you think that maybe you think maybe these guys
[11:31] Keith: Well, here's a guy Were very small Penis. Not much showing there. But you would You would do something that maybe you would get an erection and then let it go down? Maybe still pretty long.
[11:36] Mike: Or maybe take a shower to make sure things are all, like, warmed up on my balls aren't, like super attractive.
[11:36] Keith: Right? Do you do that?
[11:38] Mike: I wouldn't. I would prep a little bit. Yeah.
[11:47] Keith: Give any strategies like that regarding women like you. Kind of like a baby. I'm gonna go to the bathroom now, and you sort of like this. But I guess that's not a problem, right? Because then you would be erect anyway.
[11:53] Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no prep that goes on there, and I don't think there would be any benefit to doing so.
[12:01] Keith: Right? Right. There's no equivalent to the woman going in and doing a baby wipe or whatever it is. A guy could clean his Penis. There's that.
[12:03] Mike: Yeah. I mean, I make sure that's the case. I don't
[12:05] Keith: know why I'm just clicking on Lee. The men.
[12:22] Mike: Yeah. I don't know why either his guy has. This guy has white it out, his tattoos. So, like he's he's blurred certain parts of the photo. So he's He's aware of that technique that people might recognize him, but like I still think he's wearing like a necklace that that look seems like I don't know. Why are people posting to this subreddit? Well,
[12:32] Keith: I mean, the I'd like is a community service. Yeah, the idea presuming is normal nudes. The idea is presumably to make people if you have more reasonable expectations about what a body looks like, right?
[12:35] Mike: It's a pretty supportive community. I don't know if you've read any of these comments.
[12:37] Keith: Yeah.
[12:40] Keith: No, I'm not. I'm just clicking the pictures because that's what I d'oh.
[12:46] Mike: So maybe they're doing it because they want They want somebody to say something nice about them.
[12:53] Keith: Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's Yeah, Here's the Here's a guy who says he was great. Lost £80
[13:04] Keith: and he looks good in Reno. Stomach got a lot smaller. He might have a little loose skin, but the big thing I noticed that his Penis is paying a screw like, seven inches.
[13:07] Keith: Yeah, Yeah.
[13:10] Keith: I mean, that's all the weight went into. His Penis is pretty
[13:11] Mike: good.
[13:16] Mike: That is. Ah, that is Ah, yeah, obviously, yeah, it's
[13:23] Mike: It's impossible to focus on anything other than that. Yeah, I'm sure the comments mention it,
[13:41] Mike: right? Yeah. The other first comment O p a good job on your weight loss. How did you manage to lose the fat aggregor Penis? Suit him. Okay, enough of keeping Mike surf. Read it. Right. Um, let's move on to our to our next topic here. Um, so this one, I think we'll be pretty quick because I think I'm just, like missing something here, but Okay, so this is a
[13:47] Mike: This is a girl posting. I want my boyfriend to fuck another girl right next to me while I'm asleep.
[13:59] Mike: Yeah, it's a pretty big kink of mine. And I talked with him about it, and I need some advice on what to keep in mind before and after. And also during this, what I want to happen is have a girls sleepover ever sneak into our room while I'm quote unquote asleep,
[14:07] Mike: then have sex on the bed with my boyfriend when they're done and their quote unquote asleep. I want to wake up and fucked my boyfriend.
[14:23] Mike: I picked out a girl for it already. She's kind and sweet, and I'll make sure we get her all satisfied and everything before we finish. Eso made sure that we will be respectful toward her and her choices. Any other things that should keep in mind? Sorry for the slow reading there. I had to do some on the flight grammatical fixing. Um,
[14:26] Mike: why? What?
[14:42] Mike: Okay, assuming it's a little bit hard to tell because she talks about like that, she'll she'll make sure that she satisfies the other girl. But assuming that the following is the case, she wants someone to come and have sex with her boyfriend. And then she wants to have sex with her boyfriend.
[14:48] Mike: What is going like, Why would you want to watch your partner have sex with someone else?
[15:00] Keith: Oh, well, that's just like the standard, whatever the female version of cuckolding is or whatever. I mean, you know, because submissive fantasy, right? But but the thing I wanted to say first about this is
[15:25] Keith: on one hand, this is kind of hot. And, um, I mean, I think most guys would at first blush, feel like Well, that's pretty cool. Ah, on some level, it's like it's like some direction toward the much vaunted M F F threesome, right? That is a dream of most men. Thea. Other thing, I think, is that it feels very similar to maybe the first scene of a horror movie.
[15:27] Mike: In what way?
[15:28] Keith: I mean,
[15:36] Keith: look, I just want you Thio cheat on me with me sleeping next to you and then go to sleep.
[15:49] Keith: And don't worry, don't worry. Then I'm gonna do this awesome thing for you, right? But that seems suspect. Like maybe something else is about to happen. Like she's looking for analogue by two to stab him or something.
[15:51] Mike: Yeah,
[15:55] Mike: Yeah, I just I don't Yeah, I guess I don't understand the cock old thing. It's,
[15:58] Mike: I guess, maybe another topic for another time. But like
[16:01] Keith: in the old thing Yeah, I don't
[16:08] Keith: Do you understand the thing we're like? They have like, ah, guy come who has a much bigger Penis.
[16:18] Keith: We discussed this before. It's there. Is that the video that I saw where the guy gets coupled it and then he has the video. And then he has to masturbate into the toilet
[16:21] Keith: because he said he because that's all he gets is the toilet.
[16:29] Mike: Why would the man or in this case, the girl want to encourage this kind of behavior?
[16:32] Keith: Well, it's just like a fantasy, or it's like a submissive fantasy. She wants. What?
[16:37] Mike: You have a fantasy of someone else satisfying your partner like What is going on there?
[16:38] Keith: Ah,
[16:39] Keith: I think it's like I
[16:42] Mike: want to feel bad about yourself. You want to feel
[16:45] Mike: demeaned? You want to feel
[16:55] Mike: well like I don't understand. I understand feeling submissive, like you want to be overpowered like that. That makes sense to me. But
[17:05] Mike: like not being involved, being being explicitly involved but not involved in the actual act seems different.
[17:13] Keith: I think it's I think it's in its you're being, like, emotionally overpowered right, although I don't think that being, I think there's two different things that I think that being over a
[17:15] Mike: lot of emotions, Yeah, yeah,
[17:22] Keith: well, being overpowered physically, where somebody is like just holding you down or something like that is very different than,
[17:23] Keith: um,
[17:28] Keith: let me think about the standing sort of psychologically powerless, right? It's not like it's not
[17:30] Keith: like like if somebody
[17:40] Keith: somebody actually like puts you into some sort of like a torture room or something like that and then you're not sure what's gonna happen, and it's, you know, there's like the psychological dimension I can imagine that being appealing to people, too.
[17:44] Mike: OK, all right. I like this analogy. Yeah, it's not like it's not like a physical
[17:50] Mike: pain. Think it's like an emotional pain thing. And some people like that just to some people like physical pain. I don't think it's, but
[17:55] Keith: I don't think I think the word pain is a little suspect because it's not like it's Ah, it's
[17:57] Keith: It's, um,
[18:03] Keith: I think there's an emotion that the person gets out of it. There's like an emotion the person is like is like searching for
[18:21] Keith: a look. Yeah, there's probably some psychological explanation for why Probably something involving something that happened to them before in their life? Yeah, but yeah. I mean, like, there's some. There's some emotion that they're like that that makes them feel a certain way. And it presumably, she Dennis thinks she's gonna get a really good orgasm out of it.
[18:35] Mike: Yeah, okay. All right. That makes sense. I want to move on to this other, like, sleep related topic. All right, this person says I love waking up to sex. I love waking up to sex, and by waking up to sex, I mean waking up with my boyfriend's Penis inside of me.
[18:59] Mike: I have completely consented and practically begged him to do this whenever he wants to or gets the chance to. I always wake up before him in the morning, but I do take naps during the day, slash afternoon, actually take nap naps and hopes will wake me up by having sex with me. Even when we don't have sex like this. We have sex at least once a day. I don't know why that's relevant. Does anyone ever experienced this or enjoyed this? Okay, first off, How is that even
[19:01] Mike: possible? Like is there
[19:05] Mike: enough lubrication to slide it into a completely asleep woman?
[19:07] Mike: And
[19:16] Mike: if so, like I don't know, maybe unlike a lighter sleeper than most. But I don't feel like I could not wake up during that sort of thing. How
[19:38] Keith: far do you think a guy could? Let's Okay, let's let's dispense with the lubrication. Think first. I mean, you could just use, like, some sort of lube, right? So that there's a way to solve that. Obviously, like I think that, like the ground rules here, like table stakes here, like she's not wearing any underwear or it becomes incredibly complex for him to navigate like it's almost like some sort of Houdini kind of think that take for clothes
[19:40] Mike: off about without waking her up
[19:59] Keith: without waking her up. But, I mean, I'm frankly like That's ah, you know, if if you that might be like a benefit of wearing pajamas, like wearing clothes on, you sleep to sort of make it some people can't do this to you. But thing I want to know is, let's say somebody was properly lubricating his Penis. Like how far up your butthole do you think you could get before you would wake up?
[20:08] Keith: You jumped straight to Butt hole there. Yeah, because a man could have the same experience. I'm saying like, Okay, you think you feel like zero millimeters?
[20:11] Keith: You think the second is Penis touched her?
[20:13] Mike: I mean, I feel like it's a fairly
[20:15] Mike: quick trip wire there. Yeah,
[20:24] Keith: well, it's OK. Let's think about the situation. So he Let's assume that you're sleeping on your stomach so you're not saying if you're going, you're back. It's not okay, so you're sleeping on your stomach. It's
[20:32] Mike: straightforward. He's able to position himself in such a way that until he actually starts penetrating. I still somehow asleep. But
[20:40] Keith: there's some. There's gonna be something that he has to like spread, but he's gonna have to spread your butt cheeks. Yeah, and I think it would be the same thing. Like it's
[20:49] Keith: it's a little unrealistic to imagine a woman sleeping in a position where there's not some something that has to happen. I mean, I guess What could she do? She could sleep spread eagled
[20:56] Keith: even then, right? I mean, there's something there's some kind of positioning thing that would have to happen. And yeah, would you thought that you'd wake up at that point?
[20:57] Mike: Yeah.
[21:05] Mike: I mean, I'm a very light sleeper, so I think I would wake up significantly before that. But like suspending disbelief for that. Like you, as soon as they're, like
[21:12] Mike: touching me in such a way to position themselves for for for entrance, I just don't
[21:14] Mike: Yeah, I would I would wake up. I
[21:15] Keith: don't need him.
[21:24] Keith: I mean, I could I could imagine a guy. I think that a guy might be able to give Penis into Uranus before and you wake up at the moment of full penetration.
[21:33] Mike: Well, what is it? Is that there's something part of, like, theoretical physics that, like no, two things can happen at the exact same time.
[21:34] Keith: Yeah, it's gonna be
[21:43] Mike: Oh, yeah, I demand your window of inclusion. They're like, Yeah, like if if you save five seconds or whatever, then, yeah, maybe. But
[21:44] Mike: I think,
[22:01] Keith: Well, I think I think that like, for example, if if if the person very gently spread your butt cheeks, maybe you wake up a little bit, but you'd be like, I mean, it's your partner who's there. Let's assume you're with a man. Ah, and so you'd be like, Okay, this is it's a little weird, but maybe it's not, huh?
[22:30] Keith: That's surprising. And then he goes for the bull's eye. It would take less. I think that, you know, fully lubricated Penis wouldn't take very long, for if you just want to ram it in there, The thing I don't understand about it is I think you're right, that you would wake up essentially on the initial penetration. The best I think that he could that her boyfriend could do is to keep her asleep until that penetration. And then So what's the What's so great about that? Like What is she really getting? And also she probably is gonna need to pee
[22:32] Keith: since you're uncomfortable. Children
[22:34] Mike: asleep. Great plant, Mike.
[22:41] Mike: Uh, yeah. I don't know. I don't quite understand this fetish either. I think she just likes the
[22:44] Mike: idea of
[22:54] Mike: having her man be aroused without her without any foreplay or something. That that's what's really going on there and then this. And the actual asleep aspect is maybe secondary to that. But
[22:57] Mike: beats me, man, it's It's, uh it
[23:15] Keith: almost feels like a troll posting like it's It's almost impossible for me to imagine a woman seriously asking for this. It just it's It's literally the exact opposite of what you would expect a woman to be interested in. Yeah, fair point if it's a fetish. But even then what?
[23:24] Keith: Your fetish? Is that a thing that happens while you're unconscious? So I could see you try it once. But like you're unconscious. So it's not the exciting part of it is like
[23:28] Keith: your unconscious for it. So how is that cool?
[23:31] Mike: Yeah, I don't I don't know.
[23:33] Mike: Yeah. Um,
[23:36] Mike: yeah, yeah. Anyway, all right. Uh,
[23:40] Mike: all right, let's move on to one. This one is sort of this one's a little bit
[23:51] Mike: depressing, but I want to explore like a couple topics related to it. So All right, My boyfriend's ex girlfriend sent me a sex tape of them when they were together, and I feel like I can't compete with her.
[23:53] Mike: I read it. I need help.
[24:07] Mike: And ah, I've been with my boyfriend for a year. Ah, year and 1/2. And I can truly say he is the love of my life. I love him more than anything in this world. He has more experience than me with sex, and I lost my virginity to him. So I have very little experience, love him a lot and would do anything to make him happy.
[24:13] Mike: His ex girlfriend sent me a message on Instagram, and I was kind of confused because it said she sent me something from her camera roll.
[24:32] Mike: I don't know Instagram enough to know what that means, but I really had no idea what she sent me. But I opened it and it was a sex tape of them. She's taller, blonde, green eyes, perfect body, flat, stomach, big behind big breasts. And she has a very cute face. I am short of some fat around my hips. I don't have blond hair. I have brown eyes, and I'm not his curvy issues.
[24:38] Mike: She was also very active in bed, if that makes sense, she knew what she was doing. And she pleased my boyfriend. How? I can't.
[24:50] Mike: I can make my boyfriend come and moan. But in the video, he lost control with her, and she basically gave him what seemed to be the best sex of his life. I don't know how to handle this. I talked with my boyfriend about it and he told her to fuck off. We both have her blocked. Now
[24:59] Mike: I still have sex with my boyfriend. But now I just lost all my confidence. And I feel like my boyfriend isn't a satisfied with me as he is with her guys. What advice do you have for me?
[25:02] Keith: Yeah. I mean, he's not a satisfied right?
[25:09] Keith: That's the truth. I mean, like, he's gonna say the thing you're supposed to say, which is No. No, it's not that big of a deal, but like,
[25:13] Keith: and it might not be that big of a deal, but he's not a satisfied.
[25:22] Mike: Yeah, I mean, that's that's my primary motion there, too, and, like that sucks for that girl like that would be really thing to happen.
[25:31] Keith: Well, I don't totally understand why she can't just upped her game. I mean, obviously, she can't change her height or eye color. Not that those necessarily matter that I
[25:41] Mike: don't think those matter much after. Like, you know, the initial 10 sexual encounters or whatever. Like at some point like it could be anybody. It's It's more technique than physical appearance.
[25:43] Keith: You think that's right.
[25:43] Keith: I don't
[26:05] Mike: know what the number is, but there's some amount of what's the expression, like, Show me a beautiful woman. I'll show you a man who's tired of fucking her like that's like a really crude, crude expression. But I think generally, uh, the initial physical attraction fades into or becomes some other kind of attraction. That's more
[26:09] Mike: technique based on emotion based on that kind of stuff.
[26:11] Mike: Yeah, I mean,
[26:13] Mike: right. I mean,
[26:19] Mike: after that, like this other girl is so much like has a much better figure. It matters a little bit, but
[26:22] Mike: the primary thing here is his technique.
[26:32] Keith: Yeah, I mean, there's other parts with their difficult because, like like the fact that she obviously well, there's some chance that she's doing this to try to get the guy back or, like, you know, there's some
[26:34] Keith: nastiest
[26:39] Mike: she says. Her boyfriend says he blocked her. So, uh, I'm right. Nothing to worry about there.
[26:43] Keith: Yeah, I wonder if there was a time stamp on that video that she said,
[26:46] Keith: By the way, this was yesterday,
[26:50] Mike: The New York Times with right, I had to yesterday's headline on it,
[26:52] Keith: right,
[27:29] Keith: but this is This is very similar to the posting. I mean, actually is virtually identical to the posting that people do where, ah, they do a threesome and who their partner like, gets off a lot more with the other person. The French third, right, They bring in, and, uh, and then they get super self conscious, and they're, you know, it's not great. The threesome, I guess, is worse because that's almost not. I'd say it's almost guaranteed to happen if you let's see if you've been mm F three M f F threesome. It's almost guaranteed to happen because the guy is going to like having a new woman right
[27:47] Keith: on. So he's going to have a good time. Um, I guess it's an interesting question. Do you think? Do you think there's, like, a level of attractiveness that you could get? Let's say that you you're gonna have an M f F threesome. Do you think that you could have in the third you could specifically pick 1/3 that you were kind of un attracted to
[27:52] Keith: to kind of reduce that, but still get the M M m f f? Or do you think you'd still
[27:54] Keith: have more be more exciting?
[28:26] Mike: Oh, yeah. I mean, the the way we have a question about this, actually, maybe I'll just read it now because it's basically the exact same topic. We'll have sort of two topics in the air at the same time here, but I think we could do it. Um, this person says, men and women, Have you ever rejected someone after seeing them naked is thinking about this today. I'm 24. I've been a I've been with around six partners, some big, came serious and some didn't was quite chubby. When I first started having sex and I was always self conscious. I slept with guys but taking my clothes off for getting them taken off was a shy moment for me. At some point I started getting really into kickboxing and lost a lot of weight.
[28:48] Mike: Nominal weight I'm happy with. And I started thinking today, even when I was chubby fat, I had never been rejected by a guy after taking my clothes office or something inside us when we're horny that we see past all flaws that everyone sees in themselves. I did not have a beautiful body, and some of these guys were on for one night stands who were not in love with me or anything. I'm just wondering if anyone has rejected any girl or guy when the situation was heading to sex and you saw their body.
[28:51] Mike: So yeah, this Yeah, like the
[29:00] Mike: I feel like on an initial sexual encounter with someone you'll tolerate. Or at least I would tolerate basically anything because the newness of it all is so interesting.
[29:02] Keith: Now that's not true. That's not true. For example, I
[29:10] Mike: think it's obviously there's limits, but, you know, same age and vaguely height, weight, proportional. And you know that kind of stuff like that's
[29:15] Keith: not what I was going for. I was going for dental hygiene. Dental hygiene?
[29:19] Keith: Yeah. No, you would not tolerate a serious dental hygiene problem.
[29:26] Mike: Yeah, but I don't think I would have gotten to the bedroom in the first place if because, you know, you could detect that. All
[29:30] Keith: right. How about anal hygiene
[29:37] Keith: or I mean, frankly, vaginal hygiene. I mean, like, I think there could be significant hygiene problems, but okay, if if you set aside hygiene
[29:45] Keith: because that's not that's a little bit like a nuclear bomb there. Um, there could be other things. I mean, there could be any way. Yeah, I think it would have to be
[29:48] Keith: relatively unusual, but don't
[29:52] Mike: you think the bar is pretty pretty high for somebody to have a
[29:57] Mike: Yeah, like a flaw. That is so such a knish. You that you would you would know about it there.
[30:04] Keith: Yeah. I mean, that's not right. I didn't really love the way that she framed the question. It was
[30:08] Keith: It went well. She framed in. Not a way. Not the way a man would frame it,
[30:52] Keith: which is fine, but because she's thinking like, oh, she's thinking in terms of like a person caring about the person except even though she said it was a one night stand. That's not That's not the way a man is gonna think about it. The man's gonna say, Okay, I'm not really attractive person unless attracted now that they're naked and he's gonna think Okay, I'm gonna get this. Not now. And then I'm just gonna ghost this person, right? In other words, the way this is going to play into the man's thinking is this encounter he's gonna use it got in the bag. He's he's successful. But he's just gonna say, I'm not. Now that I've seen this person naked, I'm going to simply not talk to them anymore and maybe maybe avoid telling my friends about
[30:56] Mike: you. But I mean, okay, first off,
[31:04] Mike: so you think that whether or not an encounter is gonna be a one night stand might hinge on the moment that the clothes come off?
[31:10] Keith: Absolutely. I mean, in the sense that in the following sense, you might be thinking,
[31:31] Keith: Wow, this really this woman's really attractive. I'm really into her. Maybe I would like to see her again after the one night stand. Or maybe it's not a one night stand. Maybe that's your third date. You know, with someone you're fifth date or whatever that you met on a dating app or something like that. And it's been going great, but you've never seen them naked. And then you you have that moment and there's something wrong.
[31:33] Keith: Something that that isn't working for you.
[31:46] Keith: We could go through. I mean, it would be there's a litany of things that could be right, but it it's ah, the obvious things. Ah, uh, some something unattractive to you, something unattractive and may be difficult to fix or unfixable.
[31:50] Keith: Yeah, but you're going to do it, and you're gonna think in your head. Okay, Well
[31:54] Keith: oh, well, that's that's the end of that. Uh,
[31:59] Mike: I feel like I know if something is gonna be a one night stand
[32:06] Mike: before that moment, but maybe I don't I don't know. Well, okay, I don't have, like, a vast array of experience here, so I know I'm not
[32:23] Keith: sure I don't sell yourself short, but, um no, the, uh you don't you know if Okay, so what I'm saying is that you know, if something's gonna be one night stand, if it's in that category beforehand, but then there's this other category of you don't think it's gonna be, but it But I'm saying that that in that
[32:24] Mike: offense
[32:25] Mike: no, no, it's not the
[32:26] Keith: year on the fence. Maybe you don't
[32:27] Mike: want it to
[32:31] Keith: be a one night stand. But I'm saying I think they're things that could happen
[32:35] Keith: during sex. Yeah, for during after that would cause you to go. Yeah, that
[32:40] Mike: this would agree with the during and after. Um, that's
[32:43] Keith: interesting. Why does this always There's something that has
[32:53] Mike: had a second terrible. Or if they behave ridiculously after, um, I don't know. You're gonna ask, like, what? What might? But
[33:26] Keith: I don't really know. I think I can guess. I think I can guess. So first of all, I think the during, actually, ironically, not ironically but coincidentally refers to the other question. The the thing that a woman could do during I have read this everywhere, totally believe it. Yeah, that's the worst thing they could do is just to sort of be and incredibly passive and just not really into it, right? I think that's right. I think that's the thing we were like. I got to re evaluate this, but you know, maybe you'll think I'll give it a few more shots, but like that's that's probably the inn. And that's a negative because that's exactly what the woman who got Thea
[33:33] Keith: the assault is sex tape. It's a weaponized sex tape is what it is.
[33:37] Keith: That's it's exactly the experience she had, which is not great for her. Um,
[33:49] Mike: can you imagine how satisfied the girl who sent her that video would be if she knew this Reddit thread blew up like she was trying to make that girl feel bad and, yeah, mission accomplished.
[33:53] Keith: Yeah, I feel like it's 50 50 that the person who posted the thread was the woman who sent that video.
[33:55] Mike: Setting aside that everything on the Internet is fake. Yeah,
[34:04] Keith: well, yeah, The other thing I wanted to say is after. And I think you'll agree with this the thing the woman could do after the first sexual encounter. That's the worst thing.
[34:08] Keith: Is some kind of, like, weird profession of love
[34:16] Keith: or like, Hey, what? What color heard you want your kids to have or something like that? I think that's probably is a DEA. Would you agree with that?
[34:18] Mike: Yes, I would agree with that. It's
[34:19] Keith: gonna be measures, even the
[34:28] Mike: situations whereby a girl saying things like that are great. But, uh, not on a first date one night stand
[34:29] Mike: Well, no,
[34:35] Keith: even if it's like the fifth date of a or whatever the length day. Whatever the sex date is, I know it's usually the third date.
[34:43] Keith: It's the third date, people. But, uh, I'm saying I'm trying to be nice to everybody and let it be other dates.
[34:44] Keith: Um,
[35:04] Keith: but even then, like that's it's too soon. It's too weird, even though I suspect that a lot of times there were things like that that are going through the woman's head. They might like to say that not all the time, but I think that's a It's a possibility. And I think they have to restrain themselves. Sometimes some women sometimes have to restrain themselves from saying things like that.
[35:05] Mike: Yeah,
[35:12] Mike: if I'm being completely honest, I do too. But I think I'm, like, sort of unusual in that regard.
[35:21] Mike: You do? Yeah, I find myself myself like, tempted toe like future project and and like, share the like, nice things that I'm thinking about that person, but yeah, you should.
[35:30] Keith: Okay. Whoa, wait, But hang on. Yeah. Is after you not? Yeah, it is. So after you, not
[35:33] Keith: you want a future project about Like what your relationship might be like?
[35:39] Mike: I don't know if I want to. I do. Future project. That's what my brain does.
[35:42] Keith: You don't Just Maybe this is because you're such a light sleeper.
[35:47] Keith: Yeah. You're supposed to go to Houston to roll over and go to sleep.
[35:50] Mike: That's that's the most masculine thing to D'oh! You're
[36:01] Keith: You're breaking the rules like that's him. Men. Yes, this is our job. You're making it harder for all the other men. It's like, Oh, when I was dating Keith, he would always future project. After he noted ingeniously sleep, he
[36:05] Mike: talked about the color of our of our potential Children's hair,
[36:11] Keith: right? He was like, I imagine painting the white picket fence.
[36:15] Mike: Well, I mean, importantly, I do mostly suppressed that, depending on
[36:24] Mike: the situation. Anyway, let's Let's, uh, let's move on here. It's an interesting topic. That's yeah, I feel like we're gonna be getting back there,
[36:33] Keith: all right? I don't think you're I think that's unusual. I think it's unusual for men, but It's interesting. You can maybe vibe with the way many women feel potentially.
[36:36] Mike: Yeah, I think I can, but I do think it's unusual. Um,
[36:40] Keith: of course, I'm sure there are also women that want nothing more than just to go to sleep. I'm sure
[36:45] Mike: that shoulder I'm sure, Yeah, they just want to, you know, put their clothes on and leave or whatever. Um,
[36:49] Keith: those were called the Keepers.
[37:30] Mike: Okay, next topic. Is it fair to stop giving my boyfriend a 22 year old male blowjobs because he never returns the favor for me. This is written by a 23 year old female. Definitely gone. So yeah, let's get into civics. The specifics. We've been together for four months, and our relationship is great other than the fact that he refuses to go down on me. Yet he loves blowjobs. I've asked him why he isn't interested in eating me out because he insists, and he insists, it's not the way I smell. Look down there. I keep myself groomed and always clean. He claims it's because he ate an X at once and she tasted bed. And he also says that he quote never had to do it before with any ex. And that quote they all got off with my dick.
[37:31] Mike: That sounds like a winner.
[37:32] Mike: It's starting
[37:33] Keith: to think about that.
[37:36] Mike: Yeah, Yeah. Ay dio it, Z
[37:38] Mike: Yeah, they all They all had multiple orgasms for
[37:53] Mike: multiple fake orgasm, right? It's starting to really make me resentful because I haven't been able to come once in our entire relationship yet. He gets shot multiple times that have all the pleasure of world and sex. And frankly, he's not the first boyfriend who's been selfish like this.
[37:53] Mike: What
[37:57] Keith: did she say? That she never has had an orgasm with him. I didn't catch that.
[38:03] Mike: Uh, it's starting to because I haven't been able to come once in our entire relationship. Yeah,
[38:09] Mike: um, I think sadly, that's relatively common. Yeah, I want to get into that. That was one of the reasons why I selected this
[38:10] Keith: friend. There's a There's a okay, go on in
[38:11] Mike: France.
[38:35] Mike: And frankly, he's not the first. Let me finish, Mike. And frankly, he's not the first boyfriend who's been selfish like this. What the fuck gives? Is it a porn thing? Most of the guys have been with love, corn and seem obsessed with face fucking slash blowjobs, but are never interested in eating a girl out. All right, she's getting a little bit Rantie here, but I used to love giving head, but I don't want to even do it anymore, Period. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the choking and gagging having my head pound afterwards.
[38:39] Mike: It's never gonna be reciprocated anywhere. Is this
[38:40] Keith: Where of
[38:42] Keith: can you say that one sentence again?
[38:52] Mike: It's It's the senses. Is gold it? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the choking. Yeah, that shouldn't be laughing, but I can't help it. And gagging on having my head pound afterwards and puke ing
[38:54] Mike: Jesus,
[39:13] Keith: She has S o s. Sorry, I didn't get that. So I thought I thought that's actually not as funny as I thought. I mean, it's sort of more sort of sad, like she gets a headache. She gets a headache from it. I was thinking when she said my head pounded, I thought she meant like he would put her head against hall like pound into it, which is more of like a sex acting. She's saying that she
[39:18] Mike: yes, she says after points which implies migraine, and I don't know what's causing the puke ing. Maybe that
[39:22] Keith: could be a headache. It could be choking. That's that's not nice. Okay?
[39:22] Keith: Her
[39:41] Mike: experience with blowjobs doesn't sound super positive. But setting that aside because I don't think that's like the interesting like this guy seems like a scumbag like this, General Ah, symmetry that occasionally develops where, uh, yet one person is giving world much more or infinitely more than the other.
[39:49] Keith: Yeah, well, there's actually a topic I'd like to approach with you before that, because it's come up before and I I forgot to bring it up.
[39:51] Mike: What do you feel? How do you
[39:54] Keith: feel about the term eating,
[39:57] Keith: eating a woman out? How do you feel about that term?
[39:58] Keith: I
[40:04] Mike: mean, it's it's It's a little overly explicit.
[40:11] Mike: I think it's revolting. Yeah, I mean, I guess I agree. So, yeah, it certainly doesn't evoke positive feelings. And
[40:15] Keith: I remember when I was in high school and I was a virgin.
[40:17] Keith: It was the first
[40:26] Keith: girl that I was going to later have sex with, and we read some sort of a diner. We were talking in a topic. Turn to sex
[40:37] Keith: and she used that. I don't remember the details, but I remember I remember vividly that we were talking about oral sex and she said, the term eating, eating me out, eating something like
[40:45] Mike: that. I was like, This is this guy You were already you were already apprehensive about it and that sort of
[40:45] Mike: No, no,
[40:51] Keith: no, I was not apprehensive about it. I was like this. I was I wanted to do the behavior. It was when I
[40:52] Mike: heard the
[40:58] Keith: term before, but I read it. I read it on the computers and like that,
[41:01] Keith: wherever I'd seen it. So I was familiar with it. Wasn't like confusion.
[41:05] Mike: It's It's definitely a colloquialism that I think most high schoolers know.
[41:10] Keith: Yeah, but, you know, a hero, a woman, a girl in this case, say it.
[41:10] Keith: Was she
[41:18] Mike: trying to see it in a sexy way? Or maybe that's just like the vocabulary that you know she knew. I
[41:27] Keith: know that I think I think there's a certain a group of people for whom this is like the term they use. And, uh, and I think it's a really disgusting
[41:31] Keith: sounds grows like it's, uh, you
[41:36] Mike: create a Facebook page for men against the expression eating out and see if you can get that to go viral.
[41:43] Keith: Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure what the better like that. If somebody said, What's the term you want them to use? I'm not sure what I would say.
[41:48] Mike: Well, okay. I think the most common one is like, Go down on.
[41:58] Keith: That's better. Sure. That's very vague. And give head, which is which is bi directional. Sure. I mean, these air. Fine. And I don't think giving a blow job. I don't have a problem with that term. It's
[41:59] Keith: eating. Your
[42:01] Mike: job is mostly
[42:03] Mike: woman to man, right?
[42:07] Keith: No, that's right. Now it's always woman or man to man. Is there
[42:10] Mike: another word that is not, um
[42:15] Mike: ah Could apply to either sex for going
[42:18] Mike: for eating someone out.
[42:22] Keith: Ah, well, going down, giving head,
[42:25] Mike: going down, a girl could go down on a guy. Oh,
[42:33] Keith: no. You okay? You want something? Just applies to a something. Yeah, there's things like how Jesus. So if you've got cutting Lingus
[42:37] Keith: school, cunnilingus is not gonna go over, but, uh,
[42:42] Mike: I see that I've seen it. Like joked so many times that you don't actually know the actual okay any anyway. Yeah,
[42:49] Keith: there's no there's another term I can give you, which is that I can probably come up with more. But if you go on the sites
[42:52] Keith: Oh, God, more people hire prostitutes, and
[43:09] Keith: they want to know what the prostitute let's does. The term people uses D. D is just as bad. It's D a T y, which is dining at the Y Wow. Now there's two problems with that. We should get back to the topic here. One is I don't I don't like that term either. The notion of dining
[43:13] Mike: it's not his, but it's not as bad as you like. Dining better than edict
[43:16] Mike: dining side is more, more sophisticated. More. Yeah,
[43:23] Keith: right. The other issue I have we want to get into it is why would anyone want to do that to a prostitute
[43:24] Keith: like what's
[43:25] Mike: there like you're asking for trouble.
[43:34] Keith: It's a it's a It's probably some sort of submissive thing, right? I don't know. It feels like a submissive thing because it's like it reminds me of the the thing we're discussing earlier, like
[43:50] Mike: No, I enjoy going down on people, and if I were sufficiently attracted to a prostitute, I would I would feel sexually compelled to want to do that. But, you know, intellectually like yeah, like, absolutely not. Like I don't want to have my jaw fall off or whatever.
[44:03] Keith: Yeah, it's not. I mean, I just Whenever STDs, I would contract. Yeah. I mean, you you're gonna wear a condom. You're gonna wanna, like, basic You want to make it so effectively, your skin's not touching their skin there any. Anyway, we don't get into that. But, uh um,
[44:17] Keith: but you know the issue, the more modern issued with eating out is that it reminds me of that jolly rancher story. No, no, no way not to get into that. But the guy can say vaguely, and people can look it up online if they wanna
[44:28] Keith: see this absolutely revolting thing. But the general idea that you're eating something out of her vagina so that it's like, Well, that implies there's something in there to eat, and I can't countenance
[44:30] Mike: that.
[44:34] Mike: Okay. Okay, well, going forward on this show, I will. You know,
[44:36] Keith: you can use it. I just I I
[44:38] Mike: I might use it to troll. You just cause it'll be fun. But
[44:45] Keith: right. This woman brought it up again and again and again, and I saw that posting on Reddit, and that was the thing I thought it was. You got to get some new terminology, but okay, let's
[44:54] Mike: Let's Okay, so I feel that aural sects Asymmetry is a common thing that develops in an apartment. Relationships.
[44:55] Mike: And it goes
[45:02] Keith: the other way, too. I mean, like, and you get it with the swallowing, spitting thing or the swallowing ducking out of the way thing.
[45:03] Keith: Meaning
[45:08] Keith: turn, you know, let the semen spurt all over the place. You don't
[45:11] Mike: know. I don't know What What do you What? What do you got getting on about here?
[45:12] Keith: Oh, there with?
[45:21] Keith: Well, there's the women who finished the blowjob and spit it out. There's a limited Swallow it. And then there's the women who like when you're gonna not. They stop
[45:24] Keith: giving you a blowjob and switch to like a hand job. Some other activity.
[45:39] Mike: Yeah, but getting getting, like, expecting technique improvement in the blowjobs your partner is giving you is different than, like your partner. Like refusing to go down on you
[45:41] Mike: that those are those are two different.
[45:46] Mike: They're related. But one problem I feel like is significantly a bigger crime.
[45:56] Mike: A crime? Yeah, rhyme. But like, if you are expecting your partner too often perform oral sex on you
[46:05] Mike: and your partner wants you to perform oral sex on them. Um, then, yeah, I think it's It's a faux pas,
[46:07] Mike: to say the least, assuming
[46:11] Keith: there's no hygiene issues, Which do you think that's important?
[46:23] Keith: But which which do you think is that or do you think it's equal? Which do you think is the bigger give out boy for a partner like giving a blow or get giving uh, aural to a woman? I'm not going to say the other term
[46:28] Mike: getting Yeah. I mean, look at
[46:32] Mike: Can I plead the fifth on this? Like I Yeah,
[46:34] Mike: I don't
[46:36] Keith: You think they're equal? I mean, I would
[46:40] Mike: prefer to go down on a woman than to give a man a blowjob. So for me,
[46:47] Keith: you know, Well, that's not That's not That's not the analogy or no, I got that. I mean, I think most men feel heterosexual men feel that way generally. Yeah,
[46:48] Keith: but except for
[46:50] Mike: that, why is that relevant?
[46:58] Keith: Because because, Well, because one could come up with some sort of like a ratio between the two, for example.
[47:02] Keith: Okay, if men, if men by and large want to give oral sex to women?
[47:07] Keith: Yes, Which I mean this person seems not to, but generally that might be true.
[47:09] Keith: Um,
[47:16] Keith: then maybe each time you get a blow, you should, uh, give the woman aural sects, like, five times,
[47:18] Keith: because the man, you know, in other words, like, because
[47:21] Mike: one act is significantly grocer.
[47:24] Mike: I don't think it's in disorder Medical.
[47:33] Keith: It could be grosser, but it could be grosser. The thing I was actually noodling over is like, is giving a blow like more more work, more effort?
[47:35] Keith: Um,
[47:42] Keith: kind of a no more annoying, Particularly like jaw strain. Especially if the man is well endowed.
[47:47] Keith: Although, to be fair, like a giving oral to a woman can give you some sort of tongue strain, right?
[47:53] Mike: Yes. And if I have experienced that problem myself, Um,
[47:55] Mike: but
[48:01] Mike: in any case, you're you're always gonna get to a ratio. It's not gonna be infinity.
[48:07] Keith: Well, yeah, I was just trying to figure out is the right way to think about it that they're exactly equal or is the right way to think about it the like.
[48:12] Mike: I'll concede that they're not exactly equal. And that, like, maybe some ratio is
[48:14] Mike: could be come up with. But it's not infinity, is it? Is
[48:22] Keith: there? Okay, which Which direction do you think that ratio should go? Do you think it's a blow is more valuable than a man? I'm not going down on
[48:24] Mike: a woman. I'm not actually sure.
[48:29] Keith: Yeah, my take might. My general feeling would be that a blow is more valuable.
[48:33] Keith: I'm shocked,
[48:37] Keith: but I mean, this woman might disagree. She might say, Well, that's That's not right.
[48:55] Mike: Wait. Maybe I am shocked. What do you mean? What What What kind of lawyer you're talking about? A A girl. Giving a man a blowjob is more valuable. Okay, so if a girl give you a blowjob, you would expect to give more than one return aural sects experience to the woman.
[48:58] Keith: I think that would be reasonable. I think that would be reasonable. Expectation.
[49:02] Mike: Interesting. I'm okay. I am. I am surprised that you're taking that your take would be the opposite. Which is that?
[49:12] Keith: No, no, no, no. not at all because I think that there's a There's a couple reasons I think that one is that, uh is that I think that, like giving a blow is
[49:22] Keith: like, actually factually more more effort and maybe a bit grocer, Probably a bit gross. Oh, yeah. And, uh, I think having what else?
[49:24] Keith: I think having the fluid all come out at once His grocer is
[49:26] Mike: worse than trickling up.
[49:29] Keith: It's Yeah, it's it's more, more of a gift. I think that
[49:32] Mike: the fluid in one case and you can't really in the other.
[49:53] Keith: Well, you know, I I've made that argument before, But then the counter argument that's been made back to me is that, you know, actually, the Penis generates fluid throughout the act, especially when you're if you're beating off like I don't know. Actually, that's an interesting question. When you're beating off, what percentage of the time when you beat off, do you find that you I don't I don't like this term either.
[49:57] Keith: This is the time when you when you're beating off, do you find that you have pre come.
[49:58] Keith: I hate that term.
[50:02] Mike: It's not zero.
[50:02] Keith: What
[50:07] Keith: is it? We and once it correlated with Isa correlated with finding a really good porn?
[50:18] Mike: I'm not sure, actually, I haven't studied it carefully. I know there's that way. Would went through this on a different episode. There's some chemical that can make become more likely.
[50:19] Mike: Uh,
[50:22] Keith: oh, yeah, that's right. What makes your? Yeah, there's various
[50:24] Keith: little tricks there,
[50:31] Keith: but it isn't zero, but it's not. It's certainly not even close to 100% right. It's It's for me. I would say it's less than 10%.
[50:33] Mike: Yeah, I think that's that sense.
[50:35] Keith: Okay, but if you drier.
[50:38] Keith: But if you're getting a blow, I think it's like 100% of the time
[50:46] Keith: or a food when you accepted the woman like so the point is like there is also on ongoing flow that they have to contend with.
[50:50] Keith: Eso. Actually, they get it coming and going so right.
[50:59] Keith: So there's that. There's the fact that it's it's it's more physically demanding its little grosser. Uh, the fact that I think that in general men, uh,
[51:02] Keith: giving oral to a woman for the man is like
[51:26] Keith: part of him. He gets aroused more by that, Maybe, uh, then there's another thing which is that the order of operations typically puts the woman getting the orgasm first, except with that certain partners on. So so the woman. So the woman is off sometimes or maybe frequently, having to give a blow after she's had an orgasm, which is not as great. Okay, right. Things that
[51:31] Mike: may be perceiving the act as much worse because
[51:33] Mike: I don't do women get
[51:38] Mike: turned off the way men do after orgasms. No, right, I mean the sum, but less.
[51:43] Keith: Yeah, I think it's like a slower slope. It's not like the male thing for most men. I
[51:54] Keith: Most men are dreaming. Wait, white picket fences afterward. But yeah, there's a cliff and where we want to go to sleep and kick the person out of bed. Here's your bus fare. A ma'am, go home. Whatever. I
[51:57] Mike: felt fashion. It's everyone use uses, lift or uber. Now
[52:10] Keith: that's true. That's true. Here, I'll call you, I'll call you there woke, um, that's true. Sorry, but bus fell would be funny. There a bus spots like a bus token. Here's your bus token. She's like it's not the 19 fifties.
[52:14] Keith: Uh, I think you must do it. This thing.
[52:18] Mike: There's, like 2 50 down San Francisco, anyway. Um,
[52:18] Mike: yeah,
[52:26] Keith: Yeah, I think so. So I think that, like, I don't think it goes down to zero like that. But it's still look. I mean,
[52:31] Keith: giving oral sex to your partner can be part of your own arousal,
[52:37] Keith: right? It could be exciting in that sense, but I think typically when a woman is going giving a blow to a man, it's not part of her arousal.
[52:52] Mike: I would be really interested. Toe, have a woman on and ask this question like one would you rather like, Let's say you, you know, you're gonna have to give your partner a blowjob. Would you rather do it before or after you have had an orgasm?
[52:56] Keith: Yeah, I mean, that's one in the eye. Like I've read threads on
[53:01] Mike: your intuition is that they would surely say before,
[53:05] Mike: um, not necessarily guarantee to have an orgasm in this circle in this hypothetical.
[53:10] Keith: Yeah, I think that I think that if it was part of there,
[53:17] Keith: if it was part of the ad, it's tricky because I think they might say things like, Well, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on
[53:19] Mike: hard toe hard to do this in isolation,
[53:25] Keith: right? It's a sort of it's sort of tricky. But I think that in general in general, I bet they would say before,
[53:27] Keith: Yeah, certainly a man would say before,
[53:29] Mike: Yes,
[53:31] Mike: yes.
[53:32] Mike: Um,
[53:40] Mike: but do you agree that like, Ah, like infinity, a cemetery is like a serious issue?
[53:48] Keith: I think it comes up all the time, though. I mean, it comes up both both directions, and there's, like, the classic thing you see on the sex suburb where a guy says and that
[54:01] Keith: What's that? There's a sex. There's a subreddit for people who are married or in long term relationships where they just don't have sex, ever. You know, I remember the name of it. Yeah, uh, can't come up with it, but, um,
[54:05] Keith: yeah, you see that all the time. It's not in voluntarily. What is involuntary? Celibate? That's a different
[54:07] Mike: thing you sell Is something else? Yeah,
[54:15] Keith: Yeah, it's not that. But anyway, uh, yes, you'll see, and you'll see guys say, Oh, well, you know, we got married and then I never got a role Sex again.
[54:19] Keith: So, like, you do see, that is like almost a mean
[54:28] Keith: um and yeah. I mean, I think that like that. Ah, that's probably not a very good unless you don't like it. Like you don't like getting blood drops. You actually be pretty happy about that?
[54:33] Mike: Yeah. I mean, it's impossible for me to have the situation whereby
[54:39] Mike: I'm receiving a ton of blow jobs, and I'm not going on coming down on the other person because one I don't
[54:45] Mike: way. We've gone through my feelings about blowjobs plenty on the show and to, um
[54:52] Mike: yeah, like I I like going down on women, so yeah, I mean, I just I I can't relate to the negative part of this of this
[54:53] Mike: issue.
[55:14] Keith: Yeah. I mean, for you. So I mean, the thing is the infinity. Well, the irony with you is that and I think this is true in your relationships. Not to be specific about anyone, but I think, actually, it flips the other direction. Like you found like the you've gone through the black hole or the wormhole to the point where the women want to give you a blowjob. They're like, why can't I do this to you before you?
[55:15] Mike: That has happened. Yes,
[55:25] Keith: right. So that's that's the idea. That's incredibly, that's very unusual. You do see people, women who complain because they can't get their guy to orgasm
[55:40] Keith: from a blow job, which is interesting, because then you have the other set of women that are like I don't want semen in my mouth, Right? So, yeah, it's like women who desperately want semen in the mouth and women who actually, that's not why they wanted the world gets and they want an orgasm because it's it's fun or whatever,
[55:41] Keith: you know? Yeah,
[55:46] Mike: so you'll work. So this issue of like,
[55:55] Mike: Well, okay, this next topic it gets into So that's what we're talking about, like, sort of oral sex asymmetry. And this is gonna get to sort of like orgasm asymmetry. Um,
[56:02] Mike: so this person says I need to ride my boyfriend for about four minutes to come, but he finishes in one or two minutes.
[56:11] Mike: The only way I've ever orgasms or even came close to orgasm during sex was from being on top are going at my pace. I don't need long honestly, like four minutes is good.
[56:26] Mike: It's never been a problem. In previous relationships, Orel and fingering does nothing for me and actually takes me out of the moment. Honestly, my partner of two years comes within two minutes of penetrating me, and then he almost immediately falls asleep.
[56:33] Mike: I've gotten in the habit of finishing myself off after he falls asleep. That's not the expression man of your own. Is that it? Your own cloth, is that? Thanks, But that expression
[56:37] Keith: now you made that up there is cut from the same cloth. Yeah, I
[56:42] Mike: guess. Okay. I've gotten in the habit of finishing myself off after he falls asleep. He seems so disinterested,
[56:56] Mike: uninterested in anything sexual after he finishes. So having him use a toy on me or something would just be a turnoff for me if he wasn't into it and generally just seems to want to get it in me as quickly as possible. The whore Hope deal. Last 45 minutes.
[57:15] Mike: I'm getting more and more sexually frustrated. I've been craving the hot 20 minutes sex sessions I had with previous partners and I feel guilty for that. He seems perfectly happy with the way things are, though he never asks if I came when I tell him that he's too fast for me and I didn't finish. He seems to not care, makes a joke or changes the subject and passes out now another real winner here.
[57:16] Mike: Pass
[57:17] Keith: it was that and then passes
[57:19] Mike: out.
[57:31] Mike: I've even tried to not masturbated all anymore to see if I'd be able to finish more quickly with him. But it doesn't help this like the opposite. That like yes, like sometimes a man. Well, what they call like chop the wood before they go on a date so that they
[57:41] Mike: can last longer in the main event. And now I've noticed it's harder and harder for me to get wet with him. It's like my body knows it's not going to have fun, so it doesn't try. I'd love to hear any advice. Okay,
[58:00] Mike: this thing where? So some women can't have orgasms, and I think that's really interesting. And their incentives to have sex are sort of different than mine, and it's a little bit confusing for me, but that's not what's going on here. This is a woman who can orgasm. Indeed, she can orgasm fairly quickly, but her partner
[58:06] Mike: is completely unable to or unwilling to give that to her.
[58:06] Mike: Uh,
[58:09] Keith: she said. She's in a race with their partners That sound familiar.
[58:12] Mike: That's that familiar, Uh,
[58:17] Mike: but she loses the race every time. Which is, which is two different? Um, that's
[58:20] Keith: right and commend. Men can get off a little faster sometimes. And women,
[58:24] Mike: right? So first off,
[58:36] Mike: if you are a woman like let's say you're a man, I mean, like, just let's reverse the general's permitted here Let's say you're a man. Your partner always orgasms before you and then says, All right, we're done.
[58:55] Mike: And like 100% of the time, you don't have orgasms like I feel like that would last like three times and then that the guy would like Nope, out of there. But you hear this about women pretty often were like they're able to orgasm, but their partner is unable to give them to them, and they stay in the relationship. Um, that just seems
[58:56] Mike: odd to me.
[59:06] Keith: Well, it's a little confusing because women can mean they're things that this particular situation notwithstanding, cause she's, there's there's other stuff going on here. But
[59:13] Keith: I mean, you know, I think that the terminology of a man giving an orgasm to a woman is a little bit like
[59:20] Keith: not right. I mean, I think that it's like, you know, there's many, many, many women who need to, like, masturbate during sex
[59:22] Keith: to get their
[59:23] Keith: bitter.
[59:27] Mike: My experience 100% of the time the women have at least one orgasm, but
[59:28] Mike: without
[59:29] Keith: touching themselves with their fingers.
[59:37] Mike: Exactly. It's just all me 100%. But obviously that's not the case. So, like, yeah, I agree that
[59:39] Mike: the
[59:53] Mike: responsibility for causing the orgasm is the Yelich for men. It's like, you know, 3% the man and 97% the woman and then for for women in various wildly um
[59:58] Keith: Whoa. Okay. You're saying that the woman is responsible for making the man of an orgasm?
[60:14] Mike: Yeah, well, I look, obviously, men can self inflict orgasms is one self inflict self cause orgasms as well. But in the end, you have sex with someone. It's being mostly caused by the woman
[60:16] Keith: E. I mean, maybe I think that I think a better way
[60:18] Mike: to think here, but yeah,
[60:22] Keith: I think the better way to put that is just that. And this is a thing that
[60:32] Keith: basically gets complained about online a lot But it's also just, like, sort of a reality, which is like the beginning of sex is when the man gets his direction in the end of sex is when he nuts,
[60:46] Keith: kind of like That's kind of it's kind of the life cycle of sex. And so, yeah, it's not really like if the man doesn't have an orgasm, you're sort of not finished yet. And I think that's like a procedure that's
[60:47] Keith: typically followed in weeks. I mean,
[60:50] Mike: I think that isn't called little more. Yes,
[60:50] Mike: no, it's not
[61:12] Keith: a cultural norm. It's like a biological reasonable thing because because the point of one of the main points of sex is to reproduce and the guy he needs to have an orgasm reproduce. So anyway, like there's, there's, there's a biological thing. It's not just cultural like men. Putting penises and vaginas is a culturally defined thing now. No, I mean,
[61:18] Keith: like, why do all the animals do it to anyway? Um, but Thea which Yeah,
[61:21] Mike: laughing at the lake people, You're enraging. But go ahead.
[61:25] Keith: Yeah, sure. Well, I mean, I happen to be right, but
[61:27] Keith: But the, um
[61:30] Keith: let's see the
[61:32] Keith: the guy here in the situation.
[61:39] Keith: Uh, you have the mandatory summer. Yeah. When you where you have the race. I mean, obviously the right
[61:42] Keith: advice if he cared about advice, which actually doesn't
[61:48] Keith: is just given what I've heard about his person and what we've learned about him.
[61:52] Keith: But if he wanted advice, the obvious advice is, of course, toe to take a bullet out of the gun
[61:56] Mike: first. So where does masturbate with something to
[61:58] Mike: make himself last a little bit longer. Yeah.
[62:01] Keith: I mean, it's like lasting too short
[62:08] Keith: is like a pretty solvable problem, Theo. Only other thing I was thinking about is Ah, I was thinking about the woman doing
[62:31] Keith: reverse cowboy, but that's not helpful. So reverse, cowboy, everything I read online says you know what that means, by the way, Okay, The woman has her, but to you, she's sitting outside of it down with the other direction. Using away and everything I've read suggests that women get nothing out of that position. But see that that helps less. Actually, I was it was backward if you had a man, I'll see if you will need
[62:35] Mike: a position that, like, is satisfying for the woman, but less satisfying for the man.
[62:40] Keith: Yeah, I was trying to come up with that, and I'm not a thing exists.
[62:56] Keith: Well, actually, with woman on top facing each other, I think. Okay, Woman on top, facing each other If the woman is doing the thing that women do typically in that position to get themselves off is not that satisfying for the man because it's more of a grinding action. Yeah, right.
[62:57] Keith: And so it's a little confusing.
[63:06] Mike: I mean, it is. I think it's slightly less physically satisfying it. So it's really emotionally satisfying to watch the woman do that.
[63:12] Mike: Really, it is, for me, emotionally satisfying. Yeah, man, this is back to the picket fence, but yeah,
[63:13] Mike: really,
[63:15] Keith: it's that kind of emotion. It's not like
[63:16] Keith: No,
[63:22] Mike: no, no, no, no, no. It's It's it's hot toe like watch a woman, I guess, used me in that way.
[63:26] Keith: But do you Can you You can't nut from that emotion again, you
[63:37] Mike: know? Yeah. So it's like a nut from the physical sensation. Just probably, you know, if it takes X strokes in in my favorite position, it would probably take, you know,
[63:40] Mike: 1.5 or two ex strokes in that position? I don't know. Things
[63:48] Keith: aren't strokes. This is like grindings or more. So can you Can you not just from that grinding motion? I I can't
[63:51] Mike: not Sure not. Sure.
[63:52] Mike: I'll report back.
[63:53] Keith: Maybe if something was up my butt, I could
[63:56] Mike: You don't get
[64:02] Mike: what we're even talking about this guy. Oh, yeah. He gets deduce do. There are various things he can do to,
[64:11] Mike: of course, but he's not. He doesn't want to go. Yeah, you're right. He doesn't want advice. But if he did, yeah, like, wear a condom, wear two condoms. I think there are lotions that likened desensitize. You
[64:15] Keith: just you just You just You just beat off, like,
[64:19] Keith: just do, like, mutual masturbation or whatever. And then
[64:22] Keith: he just asked to have to orgasm. Maybe was actually a
[64:24] Mike: fresh one, period. And he can't do that.
[64:32] Keith: Well, all right, that's fair point. Yeah, if if he could have, he could Actually, there was another question that I
[64:35] Keith: I don't know if it's on our list on,
[64:42] Keith: we can't get to it today anyway. But it was something about a guy coming too fast, and then I could use a strap on after this is
[64:57] Mike: no that that if this one I didn't read that second part, our question. But she's like her idea is aside for making him wear a strap on. What can I d'oh? I think her idea is he would finish and then she'd be, like, up. You did it again. Time for you to put on the strap on. Um,
[64:59] Mike: I'm trying to understand that we do
[65:19] Keith: for her because because I mean generally speaking in that position, the woman's getting off from sort of grinding her clit against your pubic bone. Say, And so why? Like I feel like she should be able to continue doing that even after a not so much things guys so selfish sounding that maybe these bushes are often that's a please like I am. You know, I got other things to do.
[65:27] Mike: I mean, she mentions that he seems so quote disinterested in anything sexual
[65:31] Mike: after he finishes. So, yeah, I don't know,
[65:42] Mike: she says having amusing toy on me or something would just be a turnoff. But let's say she didn't have that issue and she just needed him to provide the like, sort of backboard to, you know, play tennis against Um,
[65:51] Mike: yeah, I think, Yeah. I mean, I guess the strap on woodwork or like yeah, like you said, Like, you know, it takes a while for Felicity to fully set in.
[66:08] Keith: Yeah, but this resembles this is sort of the opposite, I guess of the of the Who who should you would a woman want to give a blow before or after she comes? Like here you have a situation where the woman wants to come first because part of it is the emotional thing. She's getting off on him
[66:15] Keith: being aroused. And so she says, like once he's knotted like he's not into it anymore. And so she's not just doesn't work for
[66:18] Keith: the solution here is obviously for them to break up, but whatever.
[66:21] Mike: Yeah, I mean, this guy's a terrible person, but why
[66:22] Keith: would go that far? But he's not
[66:29] Mike: well, who knows? He's, he's he's a selfish lover. Let's let's let's put it that way. He hasn't figured it all out yet.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 10: Melon shape, penetration while sleeping, the fairness of oral asymmetries, emotionally dealing with a tape of your partner's past exploits

Episode Transcript