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Episode 11: Post-climax assistance, entrapment, training to be better, unusual masturbation apparatus

Team YMMV | 2-19-2019 | 57:24

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YMMV returns with answers to myriad hanky-panky related conundrums.

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [0:21] Mike: welcome to your mileage may vary your mileage. Mayberry is a two man show that takes a lighthearted, analytical and occasionally even educational. Look at all matters related to sex.
  • [0:27] Mike: We get most for topics from the sex subreddit, but we often salt the discussions with our personal inferences experiences.
  • [0:35] Mike: Do you want more? You be in your life. Feel free to follow us on at y mm iPod on Twitter on a page.
  • [0:40] Mike: Um, it's been a long while since our last recording. Mike, What's our official excuse?
  • [0:47] Keith: Well, we had a pretty vigorous debate about our intro music that's going on for a while.
  • [0:51] Mike: Tenders for it's been like has been a year that can't have been that long.
  • [0:54] Keith: No, no, it's been ah, since July.
  • [0:55] Mike: Okay,
  • [0:59] Mike: um, do you have any exciting Valentine's Day plans?
  • [1:01] Mike: No. No.
  • [1:07] Mike: How about you? I am shocked to hear that now I am currently single, and so what
  • [1:10] Keith: did my in laws are gonna be in town so that
  • [1:11] Mike: that's
  • [1:14] Mike: what would be more negative? Actually, actually, it's a
  • [1:17] Keith: positive because it means you can. It makes it easier to
  • [1:20] Keith: We have kids, so it makes it easier to go out
  • [1:21] Keith: are you going
  • [1:24] Mike: to?
  • [1:27] Mike: It's almost certainly not
  • [1:29] Mike: hypothetically. It's possible. You know, now that
  • [1:41] Keith: you mention it, actually, you did me a favor there. Like I'll consider. Consider it now, Honestly, consider and then not know I might. There might just something boring to do, but nothing that exciting that Sure
  • [1:44] Mike: you can go to that Indian restaurant that you love so much.
  • [1:46] Keith: That's a lot of calories, but yeah,
  • [1:54] Mike: yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Um, okay, so I don't know what to start with here, but I sort of like this
  • [1:59] Mike: orgasm give conversation and I linked to different topics here, but,
  • [2:02] Mike: um, I guess I'll read this 1st 1
  • [2:11] Mike: So, uh, all right, this is a 30 year old female talking about her 32 year old male boyfriend. How do I bring up the orgasm gap with my boyfriend?
  • [2:19] Mike: Every guy I've been in a relationship with has gotten to the point after a couple of months where basically they expect orgasm every time we have sex. But it's optional. If ideo
  • [2:25] Mike: And when we have actual pee ivy, once they come, that's it. The session is over.
  • [2:26] Mike: Um,
  • [2:33] Mike: Well, okay, I'll go on and a little bit. I do sometimes come just from P I V. So I don't mind them sometimes not using fingers mouth I'm clean first,
  • [2:42] Mike: but then if I don't orgasm during P. Evie, I'd really like them to finish me off. And the guys I've been with never do this unless I specifically ask
  • [2:55] Mike: often before I can ask, They make it really clear that it's sleep time now getting into the shower, rolling over, saying good night, et cetera. Okay, so here's my general question here. Uh, is it reasonable
  • [2:58] Mike: for a woman to
  • [3:01] Mike: expect her man too?
  • [3:05] Mike: You know, quote, finish, finish her off after he has orgasms.
  • [3:08] Keith: No, no, that's not reasonable.
  • [3:13] Keith: It's e I mean, e I think that the woman it is incumbent upon the woman, too.
  • [3:17] Keith: I mean, look, the truth of the matter is that the woman
  • [3:23] Keith: is is the pace setter is not pay pace, that it's the wrong word, like has a lot of control in sex
  • [3:34] Keith: because e I mean, yes, in principle, either party could say no and stop it or whatever, but but you know that primarily is something a woman is more likely to do and
  • [3:43] Keith: and also like, let's say you're out on your third date or fourth date and you're gonna have probably have sex like the person who's gatekeeping. There is the woman, right?
  • [3:49] Keith: Almost all day release exceptions, but almost always the woman and so similarly like. I mean,
  • [3:56] Keith: she just has to deal with the reality that the guy, especially early in a relationship, but maybe the whole time is going to
  • [4:04] Keith: drive toward his orgasm and, like, you know, it's important that she get what she wants to have happened before before he does. I
  • [4:04] Mike: mean,
  • [4:20] Mike: I think that is so. I I agree, is that, Yeah, there's something unique about men here, which is after they orgasm. There is a nose dive in their interest in sexual activity, and I don't think it's quite the same for most women. I don't
  • [5:03] Keith: think it's I don't think it's a unique. I think there are women that have a similar reaction, but the thing that there's a couple of things that are unique to a man, one is the fact that, like he actually okay, most men, almost all men sort of camp, actually have sex anymore. In terms of their Penis. You know isn't hard any more. And secondly, And this this questionnaire specifically referred to after P i. V Ah, well, one of two things has happened. He's wearing a condom or he's not wearing a condom, okay? And actually, both cause a problem. If he's not wearing a condom, it means that well, there's there's now semen in the place he's supposed to, supposed to go, and he's already had an orgasm, which we've discussed this extensively. But
  • [5:27] Keith: there's no possible way a guy wants to taste his own semen after having an orgasm. It again, like modular. The fact there's a small set of people that would like anything. And then the condom presents an issue because of the sort of rubber whatever, which personally like if I'm watching a porn and the guy has a condom on and that takes it off and gets a blow like I actually find that revolting because because the condom
  • [5:29] Keith: the condom is not such a great sort of smell, and I imagine
  • [5:41] Mike: taking. Also, there are a number of troops that happen and corn pretty often, but yeah, this thing where, like the condom comes off and then a blowjob happens or like they're having anal sex. And then a blowjob happens like that. Both of those just seem,
  • [5:42] Mike: uh
  • [6:10] Keith: And then they and then they'll go to great pains to have a scene where they don't cut the cake. I mean, if you know, if they change angles short between the anal, the asked him out. Well, then you just assume that, like, either was filmed in the opposite order or, you know, she Ah, there was a shower or some kind of careful washing. But, you know, then there's the porn where they specifically don't do that to say no. No, Something was stuck in her ass and then in her mouth. And apparently our guys that were to find that attractive, Yeah,
  • [6:16] Mike: I find that stomach turning. But in any case, I think it could
  • [6:28] Keith: actually be like a test for like, with your guess, A sociopath or a psychopath. Like if if you can imagine being the woman at all in the situation that's revolting to you. If you're like No, this looks great. Then it suggests to me like you have 00 empathy.
  • [6:29] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. I
  • [6:35] Mike: don't understand why that is would even be a turn on. It's like a like let's spread disease now, like I don't understand.
  • [6:41] Keith: And then, like E and as a man, this is a general problem with anal sex. Is that, like, I think is a man
  • [6:51] Keith: like it would almost be better before you start having sex like squirt some like bright green ink up our ass. So you can know what all has contacted the inside of her ass,
  • [7:05] Keith: right? You get your follow it around the room and avoid it. But here and now, you've create a situation where it's certainly hurt your dick and her mouth. And the problem is like her mouth goes a lot of places.
  • [7:12] Keith: So, uh, like now you have to sort of avoid this sort of radioactive.
  • [7:15] Keith: And you have to decide how long before the radio activity goes
  • [7:20] Mike: Well, yeah, What's what's the half life there? Um, okay. But all right. So,
  • [7:33] Mike: back to the topic, which is like, I don't I think a lot of women have this frustration, which is they're fairly turned on, but not turned on to the point that yeah, they haven't had an orgasm yet. And then the guy finishes
  • [7:44] Mike: before she would like my general advice would be, I guess the woman should pace things in such a way that he doesn't orgasm. Like she she should try to get better at recognizing when that's about to happen.
  • [7:55] Keith: Yeah. I mean, this depends strongly on whether he, for example, ejaculated really quickly, in which case, like maybe you should go. You know, one of the standard suggestions is that he go twice
  • [8:25] Keith: during a session, But then, you know we'll have a period of time when he's not as excited. Um, but yeah, I mean, like, she she and the other thing is like, obviously just a just to explain to him that he, like, they need a stage of the other way And he It's not like men in general. You can't In general, men can't like, stop driving to an orgasm as quickly as possible. That's not the case. It's just that, like, absent any other input, they're going to assume that that's the goal. And also in the question, she sort of complained. Or maybe you did like this thing about like,
  • [8:37] Keith: Oh, there's this assumption that men come every time in sex and one of the points that you've made That I think is interesting. Is that like women actually get angry? You're not angry, but they get women. Didn't want that too.
  • [8:41] Keith: Like women find a bizarre if the man doesn't have an orgasm during a sexual encounter.
  • [8:57] Mike: Oh, sure, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had that happened and it just I mean, I think it it hurts their ego in a way that a man's ego isn't hurt when the woman doesn't come. Like when a girl orgasms, it's like a nice box to check, and you and you and you feel feel cool. But like, if they don't like
  • [8:59] Mike: whatever
  • [9:11] Mike: you like, I think you, like most girls, is experience is probably that the guy I met, you know, orgasms 90 x percent of the time. And so when he doesn't, they immediately wonder what's wrong?
  • [9:17] Keith: Yeah. I mean, that provides that Well, it probably provides them same enjoyment that it does to a man
  • [9:30] Keith: getting off a woman, right? I mean, they like they like seeing that happen, right? They want they want to feel intimate with the guy or whatever, and so that I don't really understand why, like, I think they're like she's just venting by bringing that up like it's not
  • [9:35] Keith: That doesn't seem like a real issue. And there was one other thing I wanted to say, Which is that? Um,
  • [9:39] Keith: yeah. I mean, like, there is the asymmetry there
  • [9:56] Keith: in terms of like, there are women who really aren't in July and enjoys the wrong word. But they're women who are not. You are not gonna orgasm twice. Like if they they orgasm. Yes, they can continue having sex, but afterward, it's like a different experience. But there really is, like, a physical difference that right? Like the guy I kind of can't
  • [10:01] Keith: and maybe doesn't want to have sex anymore. The woman like her body parts still work
  • [10:01] Keith: well enough.
  • [10:06] Mike: Do they produce, like, less lubrication after after they've orgasm?
  • [10:09] Keith: I have no idea. I mean, I don't
  • [10:12] Keith: a probably it probably depends on the person, right.
  • [10:20] Keith: But, I mean, you can use lubricant or whatever, like it's not and also like, I'm assuming that like, she's not gonna ever orgasm. And then you're gonna go for another hour
  • [10:28] Mike: right now. I just think there's stoma. There's like some hormonal or chemical thing that happens to men after an orgasm.
  • [10:34] Mike: I mean, obviously, they're not hard anymore. So there's there's less blood flow to the Penis,
  • [10:38] Mike: but I think there's some other hormone that gets secreted
  • [10:41] Mike: or stops getting secreted. That makes
  • [10:45] Mike: yeah, various interactions with vaginas, less less compelling.
  • [10:56] Keith: Yeah. I mean, well, I mean, yeah, that that that that And it lowers sort of your inhibition like the they call it discussed. Like it makes you finding. So for instance, like I,
  • [11:11] Keith: as you know famously, don't like to drink out of other people's cups. Yes, Uh, the notion of like using someone else's toothbrush like actually, like, I think I would drive to the store and buy another one if I wasn't sure I actually was in this situation,
  • [11:14] Keith: right? No, I I
  • [11:20] Keith: and things like that. And yet I'm able to have sex. So it's like, Well, how do you square that circle? And the answer is like, Well, when you're aroused, you
  • [11:39] Keith: you're discussed. So, yeah, I mean, it's like is lowered. And so yeah, I mean, like, obviously So when a man orgasms like his disgust comes back somewhat quickly. When a woman does like it doesn't, it doesn't happen the same. I also think women generally don't get disgusted as much as men, which might have something to do with, like dealing with babies.
  • [11:43] Mike: Yeah, well, thankfully, I mean, you know, like guys, bodies, they're generally
  • [12:01] Mike: kind of grow. So it's probably better that it's not like men are like, stuck in this like a permanent state of discussed. I think mostly they're compelled by female genitalia. And then there's like this this window immediately after orgasm lasting for very varying periods of time, depending on age. And you know who you are. Where?
  • [12:08] Keith: Yeah, yeah, but there's there's a thing that this is a theme that I find comes up on the sex subreddit. A fair amount, which is like,
  • [12:13] Keith: Okay, if if if you were in a situation where it was like in Ah,
  • [12:14] Keith: um,
  • [12:45] Keith: what's it like in a surgical ward or something? We're like the front half. The top half of the woman's body is concealed. All you see is her legs and her vagina. Right? So there's, like, sort of a drape there. Imagine like you don't know what she looks like. And so then, like, I think that in that situation like the man, because you're not seeing a bunch of cues like her breasts or face. So on so forth, that would add your arousal. You're not sure whether you're excited or not by her. She might be ugly. She might be unattractive to you. So on and so forth, you might be older than you like. Ah, And I think in that situation, like, it might be hard.
  • [12:59] Keith: It might be hard for you to sort of overcome as a man. Exactly the sort of discussed. Ah, and I think that it's the signaling of the woman being attractive and seeing her face first. And stuff like that is really important to you being willing to interact with their genitals.
  • [13:03] Mike: Okay. Yeah, I think that's that's right. Um,
  • [13:06] Mike: yeah. Okay, Lord, let's move on. Um,
  • [13:36] Mike: okay. Need help. My wife is convinced I am a gay man. My wife of 10 years is convinced I'm gay. Following her sexual encounter Saturday night, we went out to a friend's birthday party. She drank more than usual. We got home at midnight. Baby sitter left. Got up to her room. Get go up to our room. Get ready. I get in bed first, I bend over the bed to grab a few pillows had fell off on her side. Ah, she comes out of the bathroom and tells me to freeze. Usually this means something important. So I do. She comes over to me, starts kissing my butt cheeks, starts fondling my balls and Penis. Likes my balls from behind, sucks on my Penis. Little
  • [13:38] Mike: from here. She does something she has never done.
  • [13:49] Mike: Uh, and it has never been on the table. She starts licking my taint around my anus and near it with about five minutes of teasing, she sticks her tongue in my anus and licks left right up and down all over.
  • [13:59] Mike: Uh, this is mildly revolting. First off, this is incredible and turned on and turned all my buttons. That's not an expression, Um,
  • [14:08] Mike: after a long after a long tossing, I flipped over. She grabbed lube and put her fingers in my anus and started massaging What must be my prostate while blowing? May I come hard three minutes later?
  • [14:26] Mike: Okay, here's the Here's the Here's the meat next day and still today she's closed off and all she talks about is how I am a gay man and we should never have been married or had kids. Doesn't know why I hit it all along blah, blah. I'm not sure what to do here. She's wrong. And I only find women sexy, attractive? Anyone have a similar experience and can
  • [14:28] Keith: help?
  • [14:33] Keith: Yeah. It sounds like she read something in Cosmo,
  • [14:37] Mike: I think. Well, I mean, it's possible
  • [14:37] Mike: it
  • [14:41] Keith: could also be false like this. It also reads a little bit like
  • [14:44] Keith: it sounds a little bit like,
  • [14:48] Keith: you know, a short story, e get anything he wants to have at it. He's like, Oh, man,
  • [14:50] Keith: masked best
  • [14:54] Mike: ever like, maybe he is actually gay, and he just, like, fabricated this whole thing. I don't
  • [14:59] Keith: know. What is the deal with people wanting people to lick out there, asshole? Like, I don't understand that
  • [15:11] Mike: I have never had that performed honey done to me. I don't know what the right for there is. Uh, so I don't I mean, I just strongly suspect I wouldn't feel
  • [15:19] Keith: Yeah, I mean, it seems like you'd only do it if the other person really, really wanted to, for some reason. And even then, like
  • [15:25] Keith: the amount of hygiene work you'd have to do before that would even be possibles. Seems like just a lot of work.
  • [15:28] Mike: Yeah, Um,
  • [15:35] Mike: we've mentioned this before. Like, I had a gay friend who told me about his, like, elaborate pre hook up routine. Um,
  • [15:51] Mike: he, like, had, like, a special shower extension, or like it attached to the to the bath. And he could basically blast water, like up into his colon. Um, and yeah, that was like standard procedure for him when he was
  • [15:54] Mike: planning on having sex that evening. Who?
  • [16:02] Mike: Uh, anyway, I'm glad I don't need to worry about that, but is it possible that this woman look, let's say this actually happened, and I agree that
  • [16:11] Mike: a small chance it, But like, let's say let's say it did Is it possible that she's, like, embarrassed about what happened? And now is trying to
  • [16:13] Mike: figure out
  • [16:27] Keith: Oh, no, I think this is clearly a sting operation. Like she for some reason, got totally She got into her head whether, like I said, reading Cosmo, but some equivalent to that, like either either she read somewhere online or something that like, Oh, this is a way to tell if you're
  • [16:44] Keith: husband, boyfriend, whatever is gay or some friend was like, Oh, you should do this. Although it's a little hard to imagine a friend suggesting all that. So I've suspect reading would be the more likely input. Like I assume female friends don't talk too much about Anal Lingus.
  • [16:48] Keith: I'm sure it happens, but it's like not yeah, most common topic.
  • [16:54] Keith: Yeah, So she's just like, Oh, I'm concerned these gay, How can I check? And then she she did this thing. That
  • [17:01] Keith: and he unfortunately for him, uh, his physicists prognosis was negative.
  • [17:06] Mike: Do you think that, like enjoying anal stuff correlates with homosexuality? And then well,
  • [17:15] Keith: in the sense that on Lee in the sense that ah, that that is an activity that's more common e think among gay men? But no, I don't think
  • [17:21] Mike: maybe it's not like maybe, like lots of gay men, like also feel similarly icky about it, and that definitely
  • [17:22] Mike: mostly blowjobs.
  • [17:43] Keith: That's a definite that's 100% true. And I know that because that's, um because that was that differentiated in the eighties, who got HIV and who didn't right? Because if you might yeah, like you could be if a gay guy only did. Aural or manual, not anal. He was far less likely to get HIV. And so and so actually like,
  • [18:04] Keith: Yeah, there's almost, like, a sort of weird selection thing that happened there. So there's definitely it's definitely a signal. I mean, otherwise, Well, in a way that the other thing obviously would be monogamy or celibacy would protect you. Um, but yeah. I mean, there's definitely a thing there, but I don't I don't Yeah, I don't I don't I think that that's likely to be cool. I think she's making a mistake.
  • [18:10] Keith: I mean, if she wanted to test that, she should have just, like, brought in a nude man Or like, gay porn.
  • [18:16] Keith: I think there are other. Have you really? Are you gonna do a gay test like that's not the right gay test?
  • [18:18] Mike: Yeah, I'm not,
  • [18:22] Mike: I guess kept. Maybe I'm, like, sort of naive or or
  • [18:27] Mike: in experience or something, but yeah, I just haven't done but stuff. And so, like, I don't
  • [18:41] Mike: Ah, yeah. I don't even know if I would like it or not, but, uh, yeah, I guess that already, I always sort of like associated that with homosexuality, But like, yeah, like Maybe that's not right. Like maybe like it's Ah, it's a completely different access than your your sexuality.
  • [18:56] Keith: There's a porn that I saw, like maybe yesterday, but recently, very recently, that this is a genre of porn. Maybe I'm just not in the right subreddit. This is a genre of porn that you don't see a lot. Actually, I'm sure it just doesn't get made a lot because my knowledge of Portis so encyclopedic.
  • [19:01] Keith: Ah, and it was a couple having sex doggy style man
  • [19:03] Keith: a woman And then another guy shows up
  • [19:06] Keith: and starts early, gets behind
  • [19:09] Keith: the first guy and sticks it up his butt
  • [19:17] Keith: and still got guys sort of in the middle. Ah, and, ah, as often happens, this is probably a porn that you wouldn't want to watch, but I because I
  • [19:18] Keith: first I
  • [19:20] Mike: intrigued by the by the mechanics.
  • [19:29] Keith: I mean, when there's look, when something happens in a point that I don't see much of never steam, I always wanna watch because I'm like like we're doing on here
  • [19:47] Keith: scratcher. And it was interesting because the guy, the guy, that far, but I don't even know to call them the far back guy. They did two things. One is he would thrust. And then it was sort of thrust all the way through to the woman. And then at some point he stopped. And the guy, I kind of went back and the kind of the middle who all called Lucky Pierre I went back and forth
  • [19:59] Keith: and enjoyed that, Um, but anyway, like the reason why that's relevant is and then, well, there's a went on and on and on, like different activities that, like, I think most straight men would not want to D'oh.
  • [20:20] Keith: But ah, maybe all straight men wouldn't want to do. But, um ah, that it was a little bit of a surprise right in the porn world, But you have to accept. Obviously, the actor knew that a guy was coming and lived up his butt hole, but it's a little bit of surprise. So if she had done that, if she had a guy, it may be paid an escort to show up
  • [20:25] Keith: and for whatever reason, told her how has been your boyfriend to make sure his butthole was lubed that night for sex?
  • [20:32] Keith: Then, yeah, if he wanted to have the guy stick it up his butt. Probably at least bisexual, right?
  • [20:49] Mike: Yeah, I mean that. I mean, that's such a preposterous Senate, But yes. I mean, yeah, I don't know, Like, I feel like I'm having, like, a mild epiphany here, even though I'm sure everyone else has had this like, yeah, like whether or not you like having something put up your asshole is
  • [20:55] Mike: doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your sexuality. Like, if that feels good to you.
  • [20:56] Mike: Oh,
  • [21:10] Keith: I disagree with that. I think it has a little bit to do because because I think that if you if you like having your prostate stimulated and you like fingers up there, I think you're naturally going toe wonder. So you could put like a Penis shaped dildo up there. But I think
  • [21:16] Keith: I think, you know, on a you're on a path that leads to, like, What would it be like that? A real dick up there?
  • [21:30] Mike: Is there some evolutionary like, you know? So there's an evolutionary reason for women liking Penis is uniquely compared to anything else. Like, you know, like a cucumber is not as good. A banana is not as good like other things that were around in the Stone Age or
  • [21:33] Mike: revolutionary types.
  • [21:38] Mike: But is there any reason that like a Penis is better than some other thing?
  • [21:43] Keith: Yes, it's the dreaded response. When you ask a woman that you're dating,
  • [21:50] Keith: you try to get her to say something positive about your Penis and the only thing she'll ever say. It's something like, Well, I like that it's attached to you
  • [21:54] Keith: just the kind of shit Women saying You're like No, no, you don't understand. I want you to say
  • [21:58] Keith: that my cock is like, amazing. It's like a lightning bolt in your
  • [22:12] Keith: The unique curvature is ideal. Yeah, there's something I do, but that's Yeah, that this just shows like the different way that most went men. And most women approach sex like, yeah, so they Yes, the evolutionary thing is that it's attached to a man that's gonna, like provide for the kids. When
  • [22:22] Mike: you don't think Okay, you're going the other way with this. So do you think you don't think that there's anything unique about the way a Penis shaped or its temperature Or I guess, is there?
  • [22:39] Keith: Oh, no. Oh, I know I can. I can I can empathize enough with the mindset of a gay man to say the following, which is that I'm sure if you're into anal sex and you find men attractive, that having somebody ejaculate while their body part is in your body is very exciting.
  • [22:49] Keith: It's that right? It's it's it like it's not like they're getting pleasure either using your body for pleasure that yeah, in much the same way that if you having sex with a woman and she's like on top,
  • [22:53] Keith: right? I mean the various things like and actually for a guy, I think most guys probably like
  • [22:57] Keith: having the woman kind of be active in that way.
  • [23:10] Keith: Some don't Actually, there was a posting on the sex separated about whether sex is better when you're passive or active and like a basically a guy like said, Oh, it's always better for the passive person. Everybody's like, Look, you just outed yourself. It's like a sub.
  • [23:30] Keith: It looks like there's a bunch of guys that came in and said, No, no, I don't like that, but But you know, most people, I think, probably can enjoy both and, yeah, like this and and men, since our bodies are so gross. We want deeply for women to, like, actually want to use our bodies for pleasure Because nobody wants our bodies for anything. Unless you're like a male model or an athlete or something.
  • [23:31] Mike: Yeah,
  • [23:33] Mike: I guess I You
  • [23:34] Keith: don't want that.
  • [23:43] Keith: I mean, doesn't it bother you a little bit like that? Like in our in humankind, Like women's bodies are so prized. Bees of the men's,
  • [23:45] Mike: um
  • [23:51] Mike: I mean, because of my desires, like that feels like the right set up.
  • [24:00] Keith: Oh, sure, but it's like wouldn't wouldn't Okay, but in your fantasy world, wouldn't it be kind of cool to have, like, women desire ing you your body?
  • [24:01] Mike: That's only
  • [24:14] Mike: definitely, Definitely. Yeah. Um okay. Next topic. Uh, I don't know what we're going to discuss about this, but I thought this was sort of funny, so I'm gonna read it. Okay. Ah, Boyfriend's mom walked in on us. I am beyond mortified.
  • [24:34] Mike: My wrists were bound in front of me. I was blindfolded, head hanging off the bed, and my completely naked boyfriend was fucking my mouth under the bedroom door open, followed by his mother yelling, Oh, my God of sorry! And the door slamming shut. My boyfriend helped up Help me up, and he started laughing as he took the blindfold off and untied my wrists. He thinks this is funny. I wish I felt the same.
  • [24:42] Mike: I'm a really shy and fairly introverted person. I don't talk about my sex life with anyone other than my boyfriend either. I'm just beyond embarrassing, and I have no idea what to d'oh.
  • [24:45] Mike: She's staying with us for a month.
  • [24:47] Mike: Um,
  • [24:53] Mike: yeah. So, yeah, this is obviously an outrageously awkward situations, but it's
  • [24:55] Keith: also sounds a little bit like
  • [25:01] Keith: the truck intro to Ah, you know, the And then my mom wanted to have sex with us and blah, blah, blah,
  • [25:07] Keith: which which I assume has never happened. I assume that's the thing. That's never unless anyway,
  • [25:11] Keith: except in war. And when they're paid and so forth.
  • [25:12] Keith: Yeah,
  • [25:16] Mike: uh, some sort of like, yeah, Like mother getting involved with a couple,
  • [25:18] Keith: Know her own daughter?
  • [25:24] Keith: Yeah, well, yeah. Couple. Yeah, that's just doesn't I? I hope that isn't a thing that happens. I
  • [25:26] Mike: think this was the boyfriend's mom. But I get whatever for
  • [25:29] Keith: either way either way.
  • [25:39] Keith: Well, the boyfriend's mom Well, I mean, I think like that. I I suspect that the woman who walked in was like low. That's pretty hot.
  • [25:45] Keith: Yeah, maybe not. She's like a total like she's but that, like, it's probably an activity that she doesn't do.
  • [25:57] Mike: Yeah, depending on her on like her, Like level of religiosity. Uh, if she's if she doesn't find, like, just the notion of
  • [26:05] Mike: people having sex Gross like, Yeah, like I feel like for, ah, for an older person like seeing young people have sex briefly would be like,
  • [26:12] Keith: What's all the specifics of the activity? Like a little bit of bondage that's sort of right off the bed. Deep throat.
  • [26:23] Keith: She probably never tried. I thought of that. Potentially. The fact that he apologized in the moment suggests that low lower. It's not like she lower religiosity or whatever, but that's not the main issue.
  • [26:26] Mike: Yeah, although she did say, Oh my God, I'm sorry.
  • [26:33] Keith: Well, that would just be That just means that her parents were religious. That's that work, Robert, Or maybe grandparents.
  • [26:35] Mike: Have you ever been walked in on?
  • [26:41] Keith: I mean, not to my knowledge, but, um, I'm sure the answer is yes. You know what I mean, like,
  • [26:43] Mike: Oh, I say.
  • [26:44] Mike: But somebody got close to
  • [26:54] Keith: the door. But no, no, no, no. Tax. No, I never had anything remotely like that that I know of, but I'm just like you can't always observe every possible egress from the room you're having sex in.
  • [27:00] Keith: Yeah. So, like an and definitely particularly as a teenager. Like I did things.
  • [27:16] Keith: Teenager, 20 young twenties. I did things in places where, like, it would they're just wouldn't have been time to, like, stop if somebody showed up. So it just logically thinking about it seems likely that, like, once in my life, someone came down the stairs or whatever. How about you even walked in on
  • [27:27] Mike: again? Not to my knowledge, but I mean yeah, like when I was a teenager, I masturbated a lot, and yet my parents would probably have to let go out of their way to ensure that
  • [27:32] Keith: Well, but I mean, you are always in that sleeping bag, right?
  • [27:34] Mike: If we promised that this would never be
  • [27:36] Keith: all right,
  • [27:40] Keith: Well, OK, put it find and remove that
  • [27:43] Keith: you can come out in post production.
  • [27:48] Keith: You were always under the covers.
  • [27:51] Mike: No, not always. All right. No, I don't think you understand what was going on with
  • [27:56] Keith: you. You're a teenager. Would you stand up and do the little
  • [27:57] Keith: Penis,
  • [28:00] Keith: the little Penis fountain thing?
  • [28:06] Mike: No, no. Whatever the sleeping bags come up. So, like, I guess we'll just I mean, I have no choice here. Well, you're just
  • [28:08] Keith: a kid. I mean, nobody can really blame you.
  • [28:22] Mike: Your kid. Yeah. Yeah. We have, like, a like a sleeping bag that I would straddle God. And then you could, you know, And then I could sort of the stroke myself writing back and forth. And I like masturbating that way.
  • [28:26] Keith: I don't know what you're talking about. What do you mean? You're rocking back and forth.
  • [28:29] Mike: So the sleeping bag was was rolled up, right? So it's Jesus
  • [28:39] Keith: Christ, and then you would you Not in the way. You're saying it was like a thing. It was like a little spiral of doom there with, like, that center really tightly held that gruesome.
  • [28:48] Mike: No, no, no, no. Although I like your imagination here it was rolled up, and the cape the cover was over it. So it's It's really just sort of like a
  • [28:56] Mike: like a very, very, very firm pillow. Uh, and it's big enough that I could I could straddle it without having to, like, you know, spread my legs too much.
  • [29:01] Mike: Okay? And you're thinking back, like this guy that there wasn't that weird like that fellow's?
  • [29:06] Keith: No, I don't understand. Mechanically understands. Where would your Penis to be in your hand?
  • [29:14] Mike: Uh, no, I'm straddling it. And so the thing that's causing the friction is my Penis rubbing back and forth across the top of the social.
  • [29:20] Keith: What's what's holding your Penis desk? You have 81 hand holding down your Penis onto the sleeping bag case,
  • [29:21] Mike: huh?
  • [29:27] Mike: I think I could angle it in such a way where I could use, like, my body weight to sort of grind against it.
  • [29:28] Mike: But I don't remember that angry
  • [29:33] Keith: years forward. And that would, like, trap your Penis between years. Yeah.
  • [29:36] Keith: Yeah, that's pretty weird. Dude, I don't think most kids do
  • [29:37] Mike: that.
  • [29:39] Mike: Yeah, I don't think so either.
  • [29:43] Mike: But that's what I mean, huh?
  • [29:46] Mike: My recollection. I don't have
  • [29:48] Mike: I have a sleeping bag.
  • [29:50] Mike: Yeah. I haven't tried this in what,
  • [29:52] Mike: 25 years?
  • [29:59] Keith: I have a question. Had it is it because it hadn't occurred to you to use your hand.
  • [30:03] Mike: This brings up a topic that I've been wanting to get into
  • [30:06] Mike: for sometime. I guess now's a good time
  • [30:07] Mike: through.
  • [30:13] Mike: I've recently come to find out, and I can't remember if I was talking to you If I was talking to someone else about this, but
  • [30:20] Mike: depending so I'm circumcised. And I think there are different, like levels of circumcision that leave varying amounts of force. It
  • [30:21] Keith: doesn't mean we talked about that. Yeah.
  • [30:23] Mike: Okay. Okay.
  • [30:27] Mike: So for me, like if I hold my Penis
  • [30:31] Mike: and stroke it, I can't get
  • [30:44] Mike: I can't really slide back and forth using the skin of my Penis. Like it. I need, like, either lubrication or toe like have, like, a fairly loose grip to go up and down. Does that make sense? It does. I think that's a big bummer.
  • [30:48] Mike: It is a bummer. Like I didn't even know this until we had that conversation. Whatever was a few months
  • [30:51] Keith: ago when you knew it. Us uncircumcised dude was like,
  • [31:00] Mike: Yeah, yeah, I've seen it. And like, I knew that was a thing. But I thought that, like, roughly all circumcisions were the same. I didn't realize that there were like varying amounts of foreskin.
  • [31:09] Keith: You know the thing that's funny. So I have more for skin. And it's funny because when I was, my mom has told me that the doctor told her that he only took off a little
  • [31:12] Keith: and I was like, I have never said to her, You know, that's true, Ma, That's
  • [31:14] Mike: true. Thanks That
  • [31:17] Mike: that was to be a solid there, But But it's true.
  • [31:22] Keith: He's only that. And I think it is actually a fact that they like. We're a little more cautious with me.
  • [31:35] Mike: Yeah, so consequently, uh, masturbating with my hand dry is not particularly great. And so anyway, I think he's like Is it possible?
  • [31:36] Mike: Yeah, it's possible.
  • [31:41] Keith: How do you know what you just it's just dry? Or do you, like, spit on your hand or something?
  • [31:52] Mike: I can and have? Um, uh I mean, you've masturbated dry, right? So, like, you know what it's like to masturbate trying. It's just that I don't get, you know, called as much.
  • [31:54] Mike: I don't think I do like natural.
  • [32:00] Keith: I don't think I do, because I would never for me the equivalent of that would be, like, sort of hold
  • [32:05] Keith: the foreskin down so that it doesn't move and then do it. And I would never do that
  • [32:13] Keith: because it would. It would be physically like it's actually hard. I guess I can try it and report back. But it would be would be physics now if yeah, if I had a lubricant, Fine. Although
  • [32:25] Mike: you could do it. But it's just a handicap. Um, and you would Look, why would you ever introduce a handicap into something like that? Exactly. Exactly, Um, like I can. I can masturbate without porn. That's really interesting. So
  • [32:28] Keith: what, You're what you're saying? Actually,
  • [32:40] Keith: I wouldn't have thought about this, May I? But maybe that you're You're basically saying I think, uh, that your circumcision actually made learning to masturbate and masturbating. Sort of trickier,
  • [32:58] Keith: like, Yeah, I think so. So because you know, like that, I think that was part of the maybe the rationale for circumcision. I mean, there was also, like, cleanliness and stuff. The lake. I think a big rationale was this notion that every sperm is sacred and you shouldn't masturbate and leave. Leave them on the the ground with you know, whatever.
  • [33:01] Keith: Yeah, yeah. I mean, look at you like a victim of that.
  • [33:06] Mike: For whatever reason, I just haven't thought about circumcision much in my life,
  • [33:19] Mike: but yeah, like, maybe there's some other Leafs that, like, I haven't unturned, but yeah, I didn't know that. I thought it was just some, like, somewhat bogus reason for, like, cleanliness or something that helped with disease or it was
  • [33:22] Mike: Yeah. I don't know why circumcision is even a think.
  • [33:26] Keith: Yeah. I mean, if you're not, I mean, I'm sure. Okay. You have watched a porn
  • [33:35] Keith: in which I'm not gonna suggest you've watched a uncircumcised man beat off in real life. Although you have been toe Baker Beach. So you probably actually
  • [33:35] Keith: I
  • [33:43] Mike: have. Now, how many like degrees of my vision did that take a small fraction? But yes, I have probably actually seen it. I've seen satellite photos, too. Yeah, but
  • [33:55] Keith: you want to see, in this case, you really would be important to see it in action you've seen in a porn. Although although to be fair, most porn is circumcised. Guys like a very large majority is.
  • [33:58] Keith: But you've seen an uncircumcised guy masturbate, right?
  • [34:00] Keith: Yes, we're on video. So, you know,
  • [34:13] Mike: I saw a video. Hold on. I think I told you this before, but but our listeners haven't heard this. I went to a I went to Sundance like probably, you know, the film festival in Utah. Um, like, in the mid to thousands. And
  • [34:32] Mike: there was a series of short films and they're all about sex. But one of them was just this guy laying on his back. And it's like, I don't know. I want to say it's the 10 minute long film and he just lays there and doesn't touch himself and gets gets hard. So he's like, You know, I I'm not even sure I could do that any more. I could do that when I was a kid, but, uh,
  • [34:42] Mike: and he just gets hard, and then it the cameras, like, sort of slowly zooming in on his Penis And then after, like maybe five minutes, uh, he, uh,
  • [34:49] Mike: like, stops thinking about whatever was arousing him in it. Then then it, like, slowly zooms out and you get soft again. He doesn't exactly like charity.
  • [34:53] Mike: He does not. There is no touch of it. It's like it's their video. That's fairly impressive. Now their
  • [34:57] Keith: horns. I've seen where a guy ejaculated without touching his Penis,
  • [35:01] Keith: and the men are always really proud of it. And I'm just like
  • [35:06] Keith: it makes me sort of embarrassed to be a man. Honestly, it's like, what? Why are we so obsessed with our cocks tonight when I
  • [35:09] Mike: see that? Sure. I'm not sure I could do that
  • [35:11] Keith: ejaculate without touching your Penis.
  • [35:22] Keith: Yeah, no, of course not. Like he's super proud of it because he's, like, probably spent, like, some people spend, you know, 1000 hours learning to play tennis. Really? Well, this guy spent 1000 hours of jack ejaculating.
  • [35:23] Keith: You know,
  • [35:29] Mike: we'll do something that nobody wants, right? Like nobody wants you to orgasm without stimulus.
  • [35:37] Keith: Really? No one has ever wanted that to happen. Because then then you're thinking, Okay, I'm gonna be riding on the subway next. This guy and he's just kind of a Jack.
  • [35:44] Mike: Yeah. I mean, we were joking on a previous episode about, like, the minimum number of strokes required, and I think we arrived at 1/2 stroke, but yeah, this guy could do it in
  • [35:48] Keith: CIA, so Okay, so, um, so you have seen
  • [35:57] Keith: what? The story you told was actually somebody not masturbating. But you have seen a uncircumcised man masturbates. You understand? What? What the mechanics are.
  • [35:59] Mike: You don't? It looks it looks nice.
  • [36:03] Keith: That hasn't caused you to think about it and be like, Oh, man, this sucks that I have to like, Do you know,
  • [36:06] Mike: I always Yeah. I mean,
  • [36:16] Mike: I knew it was a thing for uncircumcised guys. I didn't realize that for circumcised guys, there was, like, some variability and like, the amount of give in the skin.
  • [36:32] Keith: Yeah, yeah. I mean, ah, I don't know. E mean, there probably isn't any data on what percentage of guys are one versus the other. I do know from talking to women that, like the type of circumcision that you're describing, what you have
  • [36:39] Keith: is trickier to deal with because, like, for instance, if they need to give a hand job like it's,
  • [36:42] Keith: it's more work and more complicated.
  • [36:52] Mike: Yeah, hand jobs are not my favorite thing. I mean, if they're lubricated, they could still be good. Yeah, but it's not like like a dry hand job I can give to myself. Ah,
  • [36:56] Keith: I still don't really understand how you do that. You just
  • [37:05] Mike: I mean, mostly I Okay, fine. We'll get into the specifics. I think you don't like my Paul itself Has a little bit of give to it. Oh, my God. You know,
  • [37:23] Mike: get some some some give their, uh, it really have. Mostly. And mostly anyway, like the reason why I brought this up is yes. Things like the sleeping bag we're using like, ah, you know, like a sock. Or like, various things that, like, introduce
  • [37:31] Mike: some some natural give to the You know, sliding up and down to the proceedings are probably more valuable to me than they would be to someone who could just use their hands.
  • [37:31] Mike: I wonder
  • [37:43] Keith: if, like, circumcising all the boys in making a masturbation less fun for them, like then increases the incidents of, like, sexual assault or something. I wonder if, like, there's this because it's Yeah, basically what? You're what you're describing to me, it's like
  • [37:45] Keith: it makes a huge difference.
  • [37:50] Keith: It makes a bigger difference if you're with a partner than if you're not.
  • [37:52] Mike: If you're in there, Yeah, immigration.
  • [37:57] Mike: Yeah. This is more serious than we normally get here, but yeah, I think anything that, like, makes
  • [38:18] Mike: release shamed or more difficult or, you know, like anything that, like, stops men from just like doing the natural thing, which is the, like, masturbate a ton when they're especially when they're in there. Like sexual Peak is probably correlates negatively to order has a strong correlation with, like, bad abuse f And so
  • [38:24] Keith: we all you gotta do is throw in a little bit of, like, something else in there, into the mix, and then you wind up with these really negative outcomes. Yeah. Yeah,
  • [38:26] Mike: because it's a it's ah,
  • [38:28] Mike: tinder passing out.
  • [38:33] Mike: Um, Okay, next topic. Ah, let's see here.
  • [38:36] Mike: Uh oh, yeah. Okay. I wanted Yeah.
  • [38:45] Mike: Okay. Um, okay. I turned. I turned someone down for sex, and he thanked me. It totally changed how I viewed boundaries.
  • [38:46] Mike: Um,
  • [38:55] Mike: this is a long thing. Well, read it. Just consider that'll take me 60 seconds, right? This just a quick post about how consent and actively appreciating
  • [39:18] Mike: rather than just tolerating her following other people's boundaries could be sexy. I know a lot of people myself included, have a strange relationship with boundaries. They're viewed as a negative. Maybe not a bad thing, but certainly not a fun thing or super positive thing. Almost like rules. And no one loves rules. Have been trying to be more vocal the last year about my sexual boundaries, making sure all sexual encounters are at least a seven or eight out of 10 rather than passively doing sexual stuff that I'm not totally into.
  • [39:28] Mike: Ah, but last night I had a great first date with someone. I was feeling it, but for whatever reason, I just didn't want to actually have sex with him yet. We're making out naked in his hot tub
  • [39:57] Mike: and from Kiss one. He's practicing micro consent, which is red. He asked me before kissing me before touching my boobs, then my pussy. Then, before actually putting his fingers inside me. Things are getting hot, but I realized I still wasn't totally sure I wanted to have sex with him. So instead of just saying yes because we were already naked and into it, when asked if I wanted to fuck, I said with a smile. Not tonight. And here's the best part. He looked at me, smiled this huge, genuine smile and said, Cool, thank you! And proceeded to continue making out with me.
  • [40:08] Mike: I was starting prepared for him to just be like, huh? Okay. Or even something like, Look, I get it. But God, I wanna fuck you. God, I totally want to fuck you. His simple total and complete acceptance and appreciation for my honesty was incredible.
  • [40:10] Mike: Okay, And then here's the thing.
  • [40:14] Mike: She goes on a bit more, but, um,
  • [40:26] Mike: this guy totally did that. I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. I felt respected, sexy and honestly turned on. Also, it maybe want to make him feel good, too. So I ended up giving him a blowjob, which we both enjoyed immensely. Okay,
  • [40:36] Mike: I think there's a conversation to be had around micro consent and stuff, but it's a little bit risky, so maybe we should avoid that for now. The thing I wanted to talk about is
  • [40:38] Mike: I love
  • [40:40] Mike: why you
  • [40:44] Mike: isn't a blowjob or intimate than Penis in vagina sex.
  • [40:50] Keith: Um, well, I mean, you're not gonna get pregnant.
  • [40:52] Mike: Yeah, but
  • [40:55] Mike: I feel like
  • [40:56] Mike: Okay, Well, yeah, there's
  • [41:02] Keith: that you've given a blow. How did you feel about
  • [41:05] Mike: I feel like I'm
  • [41:14] Mike: not the expert. Oh, you need a male. You know what that means that there's at least a like, You know, it's not a perfect analogy, but there's an out an analogy here, which is, uh,
  • [41:20] Mike: your favorite term eating out a woman. Ah ah.
  • [41:25] Mike: I feel like that is ah, more intimate than, uh
  • [41:31] Keith: have I don't think I don't think that not. I don't think you can make an analogy with what a guy does, because
  • [41:43] Keith: it's just I think it's fundamentally pretty different. Like a woman is going toe Has something stuck in her body, one place or another, and then you're like, Well, which one? I mean, I know why you're saying that you're saying because, like, you know,
  • [41:46] Keith: your your face is kind of where your head is kind of wearing
  • [41:49] Mike: your Yeah, that's where all the looks sensory or yeah, I mean, like,
  • [41:56] Keith: you really like in our day to day lives. We perceive ourselves a CE heads, you know, like our eyes. Aaron ahead. Yet, like you
  • [42:00] Mike: said, things were gonna get it to the meaning of what I mean. Yeah,
  • [42:16] Mike: yeah, but right, but okay. Yeah, like a lot of people just sort of like fumble around in the dark and, you know, you can have vaginal sex without, like, you know, inspecting each other's genitalia. And yet with a world that's not yeah, like, it's possible, but it's what you're saying. But I
  • [42:21] Keith: think in this case like her behavior makes a perfect sense for me. Like I don't know why
  • [42:23] Keith: she, um,
  • [42:32] Keith: you know, wanted kind of direct queuing on consent as opposed to kind of the normal. You're just a more typical kind of, um,
  • [42:34] Keith: implicit,
  • [42:38] Keith: you know, consent. And that's fine. Like, I mean, it's like E. I mean,
  • [43:01] Keith: this guy's obviously like he's either. There are two possibilities. I'd say. One is that, like he is someone she's not gonna like later because he's too passive like he's. The fact that he's willing to do that suggest something a little negative in his personality. Or or importantly, he's just a really clever dude in, like he figured out like This is a thing. He could do that like women really like. And then it's like, great and and frankly, like being told
  • [43:17] Keith: upfront like, Hey, I don't want to do that actually is good because it's like that because because in his mind, he's like, Dude, I know that sex like in a week. I don't care like as long as I get my nut off. Guys don't care how they get their nut off with you. They care that they get, they're not off and
  • [43:21] Keith: they want all options to be open, at least you know, within the next month. And so like,
  • [43:28] Keith: and she's already naked in the hot tub. So he knew that there's yeah, in, like, the fact that she
  • [44:00] Keith: like, It's great because he's like, Look, this consent thing worked like she basically had a thing she didn't want to dio. And so she wasn't just lying the whole time. It's really good. I mean, she's so I see why he was so happy. Um and then and then the bro. Well, I mean, even even if you assume he's just he is just doing it because she wants to like it's not a thing that would come naturally to a guy, but whatever. I think it's great, Um, but the ah, the blow like this. The thing about it is the blow is what she really wanted. She wanted something that was very connecting. She wanted to be deeply engaged in the situation she didn't. So this is the thing. It's like
  • [44:41] Keith: yes, to your question. A blow is more intimate. A blow is like kind of more. You're more presence. But you see what women a lot of times are afraid of? Insects is of the lack of intimacy. Right? So this so a blow really met her knees. Whereas if it had been P i v like the fear that a woman would have is like that you get into P I V. He flips you over in the dog and then he nuts. It goes to sleep on. Then it's just totally e and she doesn't feel like Oh, I know, you know, like I had this shared experience. She feels like she was just a hole in the wall or like, a glory hole or something. Like I think that's really you know that Yeah, that, like, fundamentally, is a problem for women. It may well extend. Like, if I were a woman, I wouldn't want that.
  • [44:55] Keith: Well, it depends on what you're you're into me. It's hard to imagine being a woman, but like for a man. But I Yeah, yeah. If you If you what you want is intimacy like you makes sense to me that they wouldn't want to just be fucked And then, like, kind of
  • [44:57] Mike: Yeah, Okay, so, yeah,
  • [45:04] Keith: the blow, It's like, Yeah, I mean, you're thinking, like I mean a blow. Yeah. There's also the fact that you're gonna, like have his semen and all this kind of stuff. But the main thing is that, like you,
  • [45:08] Keith: you can see him. He's looking at you like you're you're mean.
  • [45:14] Mike: Well, you're You're very active in the delivery of the orgasm, more so than with fat. And like,
  • [45:20] Keith: I mean, right. I mean, you could be in vaginal sex, but like especially the first time someone has sex like it makes sense to me that they be
  • [45:39] Keith: the woman would be afraid of, like, his impersonal experience, which I suspect happens more often than not especially like one night stands or whatever. Like the guy is perfectly capable enjoying an encounter that's totally impersonal. And that's I think that for a woman, that's like a frightening, very negative experience. Not all you know, unless that's your thing. But for many women,
  • [45:43] Mike: yeah, yeah, again. Some some women what women want. They're at it. It's probably not.
  • [45:58] Keith: I mean, like, maybe there's some other some yet third activity that they could have done that doesn't require her to, like, have his semen all over her face or in her mouth or whatever, you know, But But you get so the intimacy, I don't know, they could have spooned or something.
  • [46:00] Mike: Yeah.
  • [46:03] Mike: Yeah. Okay. All right. I think we're done there. Um,
  • [46:35] Mike: I should've brought this up when we were talking about masturbation, but I'll do it now. Did you see this? This is an old post, but, um, it's said how a male should masturbate and its lengthy, so I'm not gonna read it, But, um, he basically has four core tenants. One is used lube always to never masturbate for less than 10 minutes at a time. Three only masturbate when you are already horny. Uh, and four treat porn is a luxury, not is a necessity. And then he goes on carefully details all these things. My general question is, do you think it's possible to train
  • [46:37] Mike: to get better at sex?
  • [46:56] Keith: Well, it depends what you mean by better. Like you. Like what he's what he's saying is actually, there's a little bit of a mixed message there. The I don't understand the lube thing at all. I okay? No, I dok So what he's doing is he's trying to make you Ah, no, no. There's a mixed thing because it okay, it's It's a mixture of lasting longer and lasting shorter.
  • [47:05] Mike: It is confused. So this guy says, this is what he says about the lube. When you jerk off dry, you are training your brain to respond to dry stimulation. This causes desensitization because it is very rough compared to
  • [47:15] Keith: a good It could also make it so that when you have sex with a woman, it's way, way better and you, like, immediately like it much better. But okay,
  • [47:16] Mike: yeah,
  • [47:22] Mike: yeah, I mean, yeah, he says. Also jerking after I also makes you come sooner during sex. Your body isn't used to the witness and that put your mojo off balance, making you
  • [47:26] Keith: laugh. I mean, honestly, I think in the age of ubiquitous porn
  • [47:31] Keith: lasting okay, there are people that post on the sex subreddit because they
  • [47:42] Keith: come too quickly, premature or whatever. But I got to think that, like, the tendency is moving toward like guys being able to go for like an hour because they've seen every possible fucking thing.
  • [47:44] Keith: So there's like that mental stimulation.
  • [47:54] Keith: It's challenging. It's so when he's like, Oh, last longer than 10 minutes, I think I might say to a guy, No, no, you should like training yourself last shorter because like women don't want to have sex for
  • [48:19] Keith: I am large, Yeah, by and large, like they don't Yeah, like it's kind of a bummer. Like like, um, yeah, if you can last five minutes or something like that, like it makes the time, commitment and effort, commitment and whatnot that a woman has to put in to have sex with you lower, which is a little bit of a low self esteem thing to say. But I think it's just the way it is. Like women. I think what you want, like men are like being around our bodies in fat grade,
  • [48:24] Keith: right? So it's like the the incentives are reversed, right? They want to do it, but they don't want to like
  • [48:28] Keith: the I mean, they don't want to have it Go on and on and on and on.
  • [48:43] Mike: Yeah, I think the perspectives different like this person is almost certainly like a teenager. Somebody in his early twenties or whatever. Like there's probably regardless of, like, whatthe woman actually wants. There is societal pressure at that age to last time. Did you
  • [48:46] Keith: ever have a problem lasting?
  • [48:47] Keith: Yeah, I like.
  • [48:54] Keith: And I mean, I think that my access to porn was very early compared to most people. And so I think I'm more of, ah,
  • [48:56] Keith: analogous to like
  • [48:57] Mike: I got mine was earlier. Just cause you're
  • [48:59] Keith: younger than I am.
  • [49:00] Mike: Yeah, a little bit younger than mine.
  • [49:12] Keith: Look, I bought access to porn. Probably like age, like 13 or 14 money fat, which is probably, which is, I'm sure, totally normal now. And it's just like, yeah. I mean, once you've seen a fair amount of that stuff Like it
  • [49:16] Keith: Ah, in general, like made it's a lasting was not a major issue.
  • [49:21] Mike: We don't think that, like, the difference in,
  • [49:25] Mike: uh, tactile stimulation is a problem
  • [49:29] Mike: like, is there some way to simulate, uh,
  • [49:33] Mike: like by using lube, for example? Um,
  • [49:36] Mike: the tactile stuff in a way that could make you last longer.
  • [49:49] Keith: I think you could I'm just saying I'm saying that like, I think in most cases that desirable and also like like, what are the situations where you wouldn't last long? It would be because, like whatever is happening is like so hot. That you can't last is because you're with a new partner is because, like,
  • [50:09] Keith: you know, you have had sex in a while. Like these are all situations in which not lasting long, like makes sense like the only time I'm not is a thing. Premature ejaculation is when, like you having sex for the 37th time with the same partner and you're still coming in like a minute. And that's what your friend, That's a different situation that I think is almost like a medical medical problem. Like, I think,
  • [50:13] Keith: I don't know, But But yes, so I don't I don't really see that. So even when
  • [50:16] Keith: it would be quote unquote an issue, I think you just like
  • [50:19] Keith: I don't think the woman really care.
  • [50:29] Keith: Look, women don't I mean, honestly, they don't really like unless it's happening all the time. Women don't care about this like it's like a compliment. I mean, have you well, except for the woman that you
  • [50:38] Keith: had and there actually was a comment threat about this on the sex suburb yesterday about a girlfriend where she came so quickly and then refused to have sex afterward.
  • [50:42] Mike: Really? What? You should've said that I will weaken.
  • [50:44] Mike: That was May. Yeah.
  • [50:50] Keith: I mean, it was, uh you know, I will. I'll find it. And, uh, and we can talk about next time.
  • [50:53] Mike: Good. Now we can get it next time. Um,
  • [51:15] Mike: okay, let's do one more thing. One is well, okay. Who else loves when they catch a whiff of their significant other smell on themselves after sex? My boyfriends growing error area has a very distinct smell to it that I love love in all caps. He's extremely hygienic, and his skin always smells incredibly fresh and almost sweet. Think that letter part is just because I'm so attracted to his scent?
  • [51:31] Mike: I've noticed that after sex, especially if he comes inside me, his scent lingers around my vagina and even clings to my pants Not going. If I'm not going anywhere the rest of the day, I try to avoid showering just so I can catch a whiff of his for today. So it's so comforting and so overwhelmingly him.
  • [51:42] Mike: I thought about texting him to tell him how much I love when I could smell his cock on me after he fucks me. But I don't know if that's strange or not by the only person who loves this. There's such a stigma with post sex smell being gross. Well, it
  • [51:45] Keith: is gross to every other person on the planet other than her.
  • [51:51] Keith: Nobody else is like, Oh, man, your boyfriend's nut. It's a great smell.
  • [52:08] Mike: What percentage of like? Okay, well, for starters, I mean, that's a little bit tricky here because she's discussing several smells like first. His skin always smells incredibly fresh and almost sweet. Yet that's fine. But like, yeah, the area like underneath his like scrotum problem.
  • [52:10] Mike: Yeah, maybe this is acts or whatever.
  • [52:14] Keith: That's what I use. I have, like a 10 different smells of act When I rotate, it's
  • [52:15] Mike: true.
  • [52:18] Mike: What? Yeah, I don't think he's Larry me.
  • [52:19] Mike: It's because I
  • [52:23] Keith: get bored in the shower is like just something to do to be like, Oh, I'm gonna have this smell now,
  • [52:23] Keith: But
  • [52:29] Mike: it's so strong. But okay, anyway, so but
  • [52:52] Mike: Okay, so there's the smell of his skin and then there's like the smell of his perspiration. And then there's the smell of like, someone's ejaculate. Um, but then I think there's like, almost like a like a combined smell of like the girls, you know, lubrication. And the guy's seeming that, like, makes like a like a,
  • [52:56] Mike: you know, like a powers combined smell. Um,
  • [53:03] Mike: which I think is the sense that she's talking about here, or one of the things she's talking about here.
  • [53:05] Mike: Uh, yeah,
  • [53:09] Mike: I guess you're right. Like the only person who could possibly be into that. I mean, I guess the guy could also be into
  • [53:18] Keith: it. I've noticed this phenomenon. People talk about it on the sex subreddit. Some like this notion that, like you can like even after taking a shower, you can still smell
  • [53:22] Keith: these odors on your body. I'm sure you've noticed.
  • [53:46] Keith: Yeah, I just assume that's because there's like, they're like organic compounds, like work their way in your skin a little and then come back out. I mean, yeah, it's not in terms of being comforting. I mean, look, this is just like a male female difference. Like she's gonna say it's comforting what a man would say is like, Oh, I smelled her pussy on my fingers. That's awesome. I had sex like that's I don't think it. And it would be like unless, yeah, there almost never Is the man going to be like, Oh, yeah, that's comforting. It's gonna be, like
  • [53:51] Keith: a much more like kind of lewd thought that's gonna come in, Ted.
  • [54:04] Mike: Yeah, for me, For me. Like, I mean, you're almost always clean shaven on. I'm almost never clean shaven. Uh, yeah. Like, if I have gone down on a woman like it, it could take a couple washings to get it out of my beard.
  • [54:08] Keith: Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, it's, uh
  • [54:12] Keith: it's me needs, like pheromones or whatever they're made to be.
  • [54:13] Keith: Yeah,
  • [54:20] Keith: so they're gonna they're gonna bind. However, I don't know anything about chemistry, but the bind somehow it's very nice that she finds that
  • [54:29] Keith: that reassuring or what I would be interested vaguely in the question of like, whether she could tell. I suspect know whether she could tell one man sent from another.
  • [54:31] Keith: Um,
  • [54:32] Keith: but
  • [54:38] Mike: do you think that Yeah, that's probably true. Do you think that, um,
  • [54:39] Mike: you know
  • [55:02] Mike: how to say this Do you think that you're more sensitive to that? Smell that then 1/3 party would be so, for example, you know, like, let's say I have sex with a girl in a hotel room. Um and I feel like I'm leaving the room like, man, it smells like sex in here. Do the maids like, Yeah, like I'm or sensitive to that smell? Because I'm acclimatized to it now, everything I've read or sores that everything
  • [55:09] Keith: I've read about this suggest that hotel maids can smell the the odor. They know what's hot.
  • [55:14] Keith: Now it's anything like any of those sort of service industries. It's Yeah, it's lame. Like these people.
  • [55:19] Mike: I mean, do they wear colors? Like for sure it's grow?
  • [55:19] Mike: Yeah.
  • [55:21] Mike: Yeah,
  • [55:24] Mike: yeah, I guess I never really mean. Yeah. Yeah, that is pretty gross. Probably.
  • [55:40] Keith: Yeah. There probably are a set of I can't think of it now, but I'm sure hotel maid is the obvious one. I'm sure there's a set. Another like, you know, like people who come and clean your apartment of your house. Like I'm sure they it's the same thing. And, like, they're probably other jobs were like You wouldn't think of where they have to deal with that stuff,
  • [55:43] Keith: you know,
  • [55:46] Keith: standard places where people fuck.
  • [55:53] Mike: I guess I've long thought that I'm a more sensitive to that smell than others. But maybe, maybe not.
  • [55:59] Keith: But I'm sure people have done, like, some sort of study You could do like a test. I don't know.
  • [56:00] Mike: Yeah,
  • [56:06] Mike: like, for example. Like when it when it when the smell is like, lingering in my beard. I'm fairly sure no one else can detect that.
  • [56:11] Keith: Well, your beard is pretty close to your nose, so I certainly hold it on your beard.
  • [56:14] Mike: That the smell, it follows the like What? Are scared lower?
  • [56:23] Keith: Yeah. No, no. I mean, like, the thing I've noticed is on my fingers. And, like, if I'd like, rub below my nose and then you inhale at the same time. Oh,
  • [56:28] Keith: it is surprising how long how long it lasts. And I would say this also,
  • [56:44] Keith: like any odor that comes from beating off does not last like that. And maybe that's like a sensitivity. Like, in other words, if I may be a woman would notice that sort of interesting, actually. Maybe a moment would notice that if you ejaculated on her fingers, like two days later. She could still smell that.
  • [56:45] Mike: I don't know.
  • [56:47] Mike: Ah,
  • [56:51] Mike: yes. There's some reason for that. Like, is that
  • [56:53] Mike: positive, or is it a consequence of some other?
  • [56:58] Keith: I'll only make sense if, like mad men and women could smell each other.
  • [56:58] Keith: Um,
  • [57:01] Mike: yeah.
  • [57:02] Mike: Huh?
  • [57:05] Mike: Okay. You have anything else out here? No.
  • [57:10] Mike: All right, so that is a wrap on Episode 11 of your mileage may vary
  • [57:18] Mike: as reminder. You can contact us on Twitter at Y m M V pod on our Facebook page or by email at why. Mm. Peapod at gmail dot com.