Your Mileage May Vary: Hot Girl Sex, Oral Tongue Technique, Lasting Longer, Asking For More Sex

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith. We have another full schedule today with discussions around sex toy jealousy squirting how to last longer during sex and how to ask a man to have casual sex and. Maybe we'll have time to get to a few things after that I am Keith my cohost is Mike Mike I was talking to a few other podcast hosts this week and I was a bit surprised to hear how much listener feedback they get given the number of listeners they have. We've sort of long held the theory that people are afraid to email us because of the. Ah, unsavoriness of our content and my discussions this week confirmed that do you have any ideas for how to get people to write us more.
[00:42] Mike: Ah.
[00:48] Mike: Wait what what can you give some some kind of detail about the conversations you had I have this is the first time'm hearing about this is just like people with small audiences who are getting like tons of emails from their listeners all the time.
[00:54] Keith: Yeah, yeah, there's this guy in my run club who hosts like ah this you're going to roll your eyes but ah, a crypto podcast and so I mean crypto Bros are sort of notoriously.
[01:06] Mike: Oh well. Okay, so there's yeah.
[01:13] Mike: Yeah.
[01:13] Keith: Overly chatty and so that might be be part of that. Um, and then yeah I was talking to 1 of the guys who hosts a basketball podcast and he was sort of yeah I was asking him like what his listener numbers are and they're a bit lower than us and he gets.
[01:33] Keith: Substantially more email than us and so yeah I think yeah, we have like the shy Trump voter phenomenon here where people are going to vote for Trump but they're not going to admit that they vote for Trump and so I think people are listening to us but they're not going to write in and have their name be beep. Put to listening to us.
[01:55] Mike: That's true I mean ah the problem of course is that we um run the risk of getting a lot of emails from middle aged men showing showing us Dick Pics or something like that of course what we like is what I like at least is stuff like the audio porn we got. We played last week on the show that was a very nice one. We do have I mean various other things like we have a company now sending us sex toys. We have a glass dildo showing up so that's nice, um, and some lube and some other stuff and i.
[02:18] Keith: This is.
[02:26] Mike: Yeah, I'm not sure exactly what's coming next. But I think monthly we're going to get these shipments of sex toys. So we get some important males I mean are they getting like a you know Basketball Paraphernalia sent to them by companies. Probably not.
[02:30] Keith: Yeah, I'm not sure I don't know if they're getting sneakers or mugs that say Ah, what was Sambankman Fried's company.
[02:45] Mike: Ah I forgot yeah yeah, dead Theranos number 2 Yeah.
[02:47] Keith: I forget to rip. Yeah right? Um, well okay so I mean normally we pay $10 for any feedback we receive. So if you send feedback to ymmvpod at gmail.com or it.
[03:00] Mike: So.
[03:07] Keith: At Ymmvpod on Twitter we pay $10 for feedback should we should we up that for a week and see if that does anything to sort of test the hypothesis here. How much should we do.
[03:15] Mike: Chore. Sure. Oh I think we tried 20 in the past and had moderate success with that.
[03:22] Keith: Ok, all right, let's try 30 so we'll we'll give $30 to the first 10 people who send us feedback this week
[03:33] Mike: All right I think people don't want to. They're worried about it's just like yeah it's like the shy Trump voter people don't want to give us their email address or ah because interestingly I think they might be afraid we'll publicize but we actually have no history of that. Um, we don't you know we're actually really careful.
[03:40] Keith: Right.
[03:48] Keith: And we're not going to. Yeah.
[03:50] Mike: Ah, to make sure. Yeah, that's right, We're very careful to make sure people and honestly there's another thing which is we just don't care like oh yeah, okay so we might know your name. We just don't care like we're not going to like we're not like masturbating thinking about the fact that some person somewhere is listening to our podcast like don't worry.
[03:59] Keith: Yeah, it's up. Yeah about it. Yeah, yeah, we're not interested in doxing our listeners. So all right? So we finished last week's episode. There was 1 final thing that the emailer wrote in that we didn't address and I'm just going to read what she said here.
[04:09] Mike: Prime.
[04:23] Keith: Um, So she talks about her face Body Personality Combo falls pretty solidly under the umbrella of hot and she goes on and hot girls can be good at sex too. It's a practice to me and I have a lot of fun with evolving my solo practice and my partner practice. Put in the effort for me because it keeps me interested and engaged more not because I feel like I need to use it or to entice or keep a man and I never rest on the laurels of my looks because exerting 0 effort would be such a wasted opportunity like the people who go to the gym and just fuck around the effort of. Both people is worth more than the sum of its parts and it makes the payoff so good that you do crazy shit like send unsolicited masturbatory Voice Memos. So I Think what she's responding to here is it's been a while since we talked about this but we've talked about how but there's sort of this classic trope that attractive women are. Less good at Sex. So Maybe let's start there. Let's say you had a graph of attractiveness versus sexual proficiency and of course both of those things are a bit subjective. But if you could come up with some sort of objective member. Ah some objective measure.
[05:19] Mike: Yeah.
[05:37] Keith: Roudie in there. Do you think there's any correlation or negative correlation.
[05:39] Mike: Um I Don't think there's a I don't think there's a strong quote like a likelihood of a strong correlation. There. Um I Do think the place I do think there is a correlation is between is essentially um motivation to have sex with new partners or sort of sex drive interest. In. It has a topic I think is more likely if you're less attractive because yeah I don't Oh but why because they have more practice. Well I don't.
[06:02] Keith: Um, but those 2 things would correlate with ability sure or or more eagerness also might correlate with ability.
[06:16] Mike: Yeah I mean I I hear that I mean my general thought is that Um, first of all I don't I think I think in general ability matters more for the guy. What do you think about that Actually okay.
[06:26] Keith: Yeah I think that's true I think I think as a woman sleeping with virgins would be terrible generally and as a man, there's some things that are maybe not great about it but you can still make it happen.
[06:33] Mike: Yeah.
[06:41] Mike: Right? So It's so it's I mean there's some amount amount of ability obviously in certain acts that a woman can do. But I think it's relatively less important and the ah I think Eagerness interest and so forth are more important kind of being into it. Like emotionally invested and so forth is more important for a woman than like actual technique that she might have picked up and the other thing is that I'm not sure that um once you're actually the woman's actually having sex with somebody that ah I suspect that the eagerness or sort of her behaviors and that. Situation are more kind of preprogrammed maybe genetic kind of behavioral than ah I'm talking about the thing that I think could be correlated to attractiveness would be the behaviors they have before you're having sex. In other words, how motivated they are to um, basically pursue a man.
[07:31] Keith: Yeah, okay can I respond so I think during sex you're right? The man generally takes the lead and you know there are some dominant submissive.
[07:32] Mike: Ah, once you're having sex like I think then it's like a level playing field. Yeah for sure.
[07:50] Keith: Things that people do where that isn't the case. But in general I think men probably affect the quality of the sex more than women during I guess one caveat there is yes some amount of eagerness might be lost amongst.
[08:00] Mike: Um, cry. Yeah.
[08:09] Keith: Attractive women. So like an attractive woman might be less likely to go down on her partner.
[08:15] Mike: I Don't think so I mean because I don't see I don't think so and the reason why is because I actually sort of strongly disagree with that because I think that the the the place a very attractive woman. The place where she's going to stop activity is going to be before she's like.
[08:21] Keith: Um, interesting. Okay.
[08:32] Mike: Looking at the head of your penis like once she's looking at the head of your penis. She's already decided she's having sex with you right? like it's going to be hours before that or days weeks before that when she's going to stop the activity. Um I mean for example, ah you'll love this example I mean the ah the Tv show the bachelor just wrapped up I Assume you.
[08:36] Keith: Yeah.
[08:50] Keith: No I I I occasionally watch the bachelor and bachelorette when I have a girlfriend but I haven't for a while and so I've I've been.
[08:51] Mike: Been watching the experiences of no oh yeah, oh that's a nice.. Ah nice insult there. Ah ah I Enjoy it. Ah. Well look. You can fast forward through large sections of it but there they're elements of it that are enjoyable, but the the main point I wanted to make is that ah these women are all to different degrees but they're all quite attractive right on the Bachelor. Um, and they all.
[09:17] Keith: Sure.
[09:24] Mike: I Don't see any of come. Yeah, maybe maybe you'd say oh this is ah it's confounded by the fact that they want to be celebrities and so forth which is true. But I mean they're in an environment where they've already kind of selected this guy and they're all pursuing him heavily and I just don't see any this sort of Coyish Behavior you're just you're sort of imagining would happen and I think that's.
[09:35] Keith: Yeah I see yeah.
[09:43] Mike: It's not the bachelor's paint me not the best example. But I think it gives you sort of directionally the idea of where they how they'll behave. However, when you're meeting in the bar or like you're having dinner with them on the second date. They're the more attractive woman is gone I think going to behave quite differently than the unattractive woman.
[09:58] Keith: Yeah I think you've convinced I understand your thesis here and I think I agree with it. Yeah, like what's.
[10:05] Mike: Have you experienced in your life like ah like a correlation of any kind between like attractiveness and and sexual performance on women I mean maybe that you know? yeah.
[10:09] Keith: No I don't think so I have experienced massive differences in enthusiasm not sorry sorry enthusiasm before we're in the bedroom.
[10:17] Mike: But just ran. It's randomly distributed. Yeah I mean I now that being said, you can wait wait. No, you've seen massive different. Oh you're saying you've seen massive differences in enthusiasm before you're in the bedroom based on attractiveness tab sex or the less attractive 1
[10:30] Keith: Yes, it's easier. It's easier to get laid by less attractive people. Yes.
[10:36] Mike: Yeah, ah now you can definitely I'm sure modulate the enthusiasm of the woman while having sex by your behaviors. So for example, if you're if you say something mean to her right before you're having sex unless that's her fetish. It's probably going to decrease her enthusiasm right.
[10:50] Keith: Right? right? right? right? right? Yeah, okay, all right? So we we we can take what Susie's saying here at face value and's assume that she's a skilled practitioner.
[10:56] Mike: Yes.
[11:05] Mike: She certainly was good at making that audio clip that we listen to.
[11:10] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right? Um, let's see here. This person says their girlfriend is making them choose between their sex toys and her and I thought that was a strange topic because. Implies that it's a man with sex toys. So allow me to read so I'm generally new to having sex toys in my life and my girlfriend is a bit of an overreacting type person and occasionally I use my toys to destress and unwind after work. Well, we're about five months into our intimate relationship after being close friends for about 2 years and about four days ago I casually brought up the idea of trying sex toys for both of us and even insisted we go to an adult shop downtown and immediately she declined and said anything. That's not natural will never touch our skins. Our skin sounds like hannibal lecter here.
[11:56] Mike: Um, okay, it's weird.
[12:01] Keith: And I came't clean or wasn't hannibal lecter who was the other guy in that movie Ki Bill Yeah wasn' he the skin guy. Yeah, all right Anyway, he says and I came clean about owning four flashlights now.
[12:04] Mike: You mean the yeah Buffalo bill. Yeah, you're talking about the silence of the lambs of course. Yeah.
[12:19] Keith: We'll get into the volume of flashlight ownership there in a moment. Fast forward to tonight. She came storming into my apartment and basically said it's either me or your sex toys choose I Met a loss here I Love our sex life. But I also love the feeling of the sex toys kind of like how after I'm done with the toy I don't have to make sure it's emotionally stable to needs water or an owl.
[12:37] Mike: Um, so this is yeah, it's a flashlight. Okay.
[12:38] Keith: You know I could just I could just chilled silence and let the feelings Tingle and drift to relaxation on the other hand, my sex you do I hope he is maybe that's why he has 4 He just keeps buying new ones on the other hand, my sex life with my girlfriend is a long mission. There's.
[12:43] Mike: Um, you do have to clean the toy.
[12:49] Mike: Yeah, who.
[12:54] Keith: All of foreplay and teasing about 1.2 hours usually 1.2 otherwise I get the speech about climaxing as a woman is different than a man's which is a nice cherry on top of the pie. But if I'm tired I just want to come and go to bed any advice on how to go about this all right? So he's talking about 2 different things. 1 is. Sounds like this guy might actually prefer to masturbate than to have sex with his girlfriend. Ah and to is his girlfriend ah in her right mind to be upset about his ownership of at least 4 flashlights and potentially other paraphernalia.
[13:30] Mike: I mean I think that I think that there is a gender disparity here in that it it is reasonable. It is more reasonable for a woman to find that irritating when a man has a bunch of toys than the opposite direction and the reason why is because there are many women who really can't get there very easily without some kind of toy. That's it. That's a.
[13:49] Keith: Um, ah.
[13:49] Mike: Somewhat Common Phenomenon whereas I don' I'm not I Actually don't this an interesting question but I don't think there basically are any men who can't climax just with their hand. Ah there probably are a few but it's it be unusual, free healthy adult male to have that problem. Um I am interested in this question of ah.
[13:58] Keith: Um, yeah.
[14:03] Keith: Yes.
[14:08] Mike: Enjoying masturbation more than sex. What do you think it would take for somebody to get to that point in their life. Is it like ah an experience. You just start sort of you've experienced enough things with women that you kind of move on from them or is there some pornographic experience.
[14:20] Keith: I mean ah 1 axis to think about is if the person is unattractive or unsexually desirable for some reason the amount of effort. Yes, the amount of effort it takes the man to find sex might not be worth it or think.
[14:28] Mike: The man.
[14:37] Mike: But they could yeah.
[14:40] Keith: Or the kinds of partners that they're able to have sex with might be low interest enough that you know you might prefer masturbating.
[14:47] Mike: I find something pretty compelling in this notion of just not having to tend to the other person like not having Yeah, they're not being another person. You're just like oh lay this this way I can do this simply for myself and like I can just I can divorce this activity from another person and I think that like there is a somewhat.
[15:00] Keith: Right? you.
[15:06] Mike: Likely step that technology will get to where ah some substantial proportion of it. Well look. Let's be honest, ah the the percentage of young men say in their early 20 s and late teens who have had sex with a partner is lower now than it was like thirty years ago this is probably due to technology.
[15:18] Keith: Yeah I'm I'm not I'm not equipped with numbers here. But I've seen various articles written about how that yeah the number of virgins who are making it into their late twenty s is increasing the amount of people who don't have a girlfriend is much higher.
[15:30] Mike: Right.
[15:37] Keith: The amount of sex being had by people under 30 is much lower. So yeah I mean this is definitely an epidemic.
[15:40] Mike: Right? Yeah, and so technology is sort of in that that kind of makes sense to me that technology can operate as a much better. Well maybe it could operate as a male replacement in relationship but it it makes sense to me that it can operate more easily as a female replacement because. Fundamentally what men want in a relationship at a surface level is much simpler than what women want at a surface level I think everybody wants companionship actually and friendship and so forth. But but there's like this element where it's like the woman wants a relatively complicated set of behaviors and the man just wants to ejaculate in something which does.
[16:05] Keith: Um, yeah.
[16:16] Keith: Sure they want they want a high high rating orgasm yeah, like there's a difference between a 4 out of 10 orgasm and a 8 out of 10 orgasm and I think for most men for now they get better orgasm sensations from.
[16:17] Mike: Correlate with kind of the evolutionary imperative. There. The guy.
[16:36] Keith: Partnered sex than from masturbation. But that gap is closing and for some people and for some people It's inverted already like this guy. Maybe.
[16:37] Mike: Yeah, ah well that's the thing and it might yeah yeah I mean I ah recently? Um, yeah I mean I like was I was recently talking with somebody about flashlights and I think the flashlight actually. Can improve that on 2 dimensions one. It gives more stimulation to the head of your penis and secondly because the flashlight has a um I don't have a flashlight so but I but it makes sense to me in this particular I'm able to sort of ideate around it. It has a a rigid outer body thus being like a flashlight.
[17:11] Keith: Um, maha oh.
[17:13] Mike: Ah, in a soft inner core. Um, it prevents you from doing death grip on your penis and so therefore you have a more sort of light sensation on your penis. It's sort of enforced by the way the devices is set up. We could probably get this next toy company to send us a flashlight if you want to try 1
[17:25] Keith: Okay I have a I have questions. Yeah I guess I would like I would like to try a flashlight. So if you can put a request in.
[17:33] Mike: We might only be able to get 1 so then one of also have to use it first I'm just kidding I'm sure we could get more than one that's not happening. It's fucking disgusting you probably you might go to turn it inside out.
[17:41] Keith: We could. We could do a rock paper scissors live on the show determine that high stakes will do best best. Ah, best of 7 series high high drama. Um.
[17:52] Mike: Yeah, no.
[17:56] Keith: But wait hold on it has it has a hard sheath. You can't really control the pressure on your cock huh.
[18:02] Mike: That's right, the the one that I was missent somewhat by the way I be longtime listeners will know that I was I had 1 miss one of these types of sheaths myths mis sent to me which sounds like a lie but it was actually addressed to somebody else and I received it and I used it but it had a sort of a soft sheath. It was just kind of a a a. Yeah I mean it was just a jell ah gelatinous thing you could put over your cock and like hold in your hand. No the the flash of flashlight actually is like made of hard plastic with the soft stuff inside of it. So it basically prevents you from tightening the grip like that which I think is part of the the allure of it.
[18:21] Keith: Um, yeah.
[18:29] Keith: Um, ah.
[18:33] Keith: I mean are are you making an argument here that a woman should potentially be happier that he's using a flashlight rather than his hand.
[18:42] Mike: Oh that's a really good point I was not making that argument. But it's a really astute point and maybe yes I mean if a woman It's actually a fair point if a woman had the choice between a man masturbating with his hand and a flashlight She probably should pick flashlight because it will like keep him more sensitive. That's right, It's actually a great point it be. It's.
[18:46] Keith: Thank you.
[19:01] Mike: Like you could imagine flashlight marketing to women with that message.
[19:04] Keith: Save your man for yourself. Yeah.
[19:07] Mike: Yeah, well just I mean what it comes down to is it just makes it easier to get him off like it's not I mean you don't have this like sort of porn induced situation where like you're giving him a blow but he has to like pull out and beat off to come which is I think sort of common.
[19:20] Keith: Yeah I mean amongst all the things that are annoying about having sex with men I would imagine him not being able to orgasm reliably would be pretty high up there.
[19:35] Mike: Right.
[19:36] Keith: Ah, you know like that experience as a woman of yeah, not being able able to even give him pleasure would be would be frustrating.
[19:42] Mike: Or I mean just I Personally I mean I generally watch porn most of the porn I watch has male and female in it. Although I'm obviously focused on the female more. But I don't I do not like it when the guy to nut has to like pull out and like just really super vigorously beat off like it.
[19:54] Keith: Um, listen.
[20:01] Mike: And I can't imagine women like to see that either just I don't know it reminds me of like an ape or something like you've seen it like the zoo where like these animals will be beating off and they're just so aggressive. It makes me think of that when I see the see that happening in the Bo There's one other thing from this question. Um you mentioned? ah.
[20:12] Keith: Right? right? right.
[20:20] Mike: What was the relation to silence of the lambs.
[20:24] Keith: Oh ah, she said these things aren't natural and they will never touch our skins.
[20:33] Mike: Got it? Okay, so if you you've probably had um, somebody that broke up with you or like a former lover that you're unhappy with is that right.
[20:44] Keith: Um, sure where is this going.
[20:47] Mike: Um, all right? So oh sure sure I was discussing this with somebody else like let's say let's say that you decided this is not you know of course something that would ever happen, but let's say you decided to ah to murder that person would you want them to know you.
[21:01] Keith: Say.
[21:04] Mike: Would you want them to know you did it or would you want to do it ah like in such a way. They don't know you did it like in other words would you want to like? no no before they're dead like so in other words would you want to be like silence of lambs where you like put them in a well and they know it's you and there you are. You're like teasing or would you want to like do it from afar I was thinking about this the other day which and this is not something I think about very often.
[21:09] Keith: Aren't they dead.
[21:15] Keith: I say.
[21:24] Mike: Ah, but it just came to my mind and I thought that I would not want them to know it was me because ah it oh because if they because I think they would pity me I think they'd be like oh they would be like they would. You're just letting them win one more time does that make sense like oh yeah.
[21:30] Keith: Um, why.
[21:34] Keith: Oh they know that you care. Yeah, they say the opposite of love is not hate. It's the opposite of love is indifference.
[21:43] Mike: There we go. So I mean so I'm I'm curious what you what you? So I think I would prefer I of course would never remotely consider doing such a thing but I but just ideating I would ah I think I would prefer them not to know so I'm just causing the harm to them.
[21:52] Keith: Yeah.
[22:00] Mike: Without them knowing it was me so that way like I don't have that sort of shame cast upon me.
[22:02] Keith: Yeah I mean my intuition is just a thought experiment to be crystal clear is I would want them to feel some sort of regret about the action and it would be hard to get them to feel that emotion if they didn't know.
[22:07] Mike: Yeah, of course of course keep we keep headlining that. No no yeah.
[22:18] Mike: Um, so you would want to like Waterboard there was like do some sort of a torture where you like kind of maybe or like a clockwork orange type situation where hopefully you change their feelings.
[22:21] Keith: Why they were being murdered.
[22:27] Keith: Yeah, you want to you want to coax like a desperate apology out of them I don't think so either I agree. Yes, yeah, all right? Don't murder your exes listeners right.
[22:32] Mike: I Don't think you would get that I think you would get pity and to be like oh look at you you here. You are again like I Just think that's what you would get. It would be terrible but you okay so so you all this to be say yeah you wouldn't murder your X because you wouldn't get anything out of it with fair point. Yeah, of course, of course.
[22:47] Keith: I mean there's other reasons I wouldn't do it. But yes, that's ah amongst the many yeah all right? Let's move beyond the ah guy choosing between his sex toys. Um this person asks how to stop squirting during sex this a 27 year old.
[22:50] Mike: We're all, we're definitely humanists here.
[23:02] Keith: Lady as the title states I am looking for advice on how to stop squirting during sex I never used to do this then over the summer our sex life improved greatly. But I also began to have female ejaculations while my fiance says it's hot I absolutely hate the aftermath all right? So I I hear her here at the aftermath is a hassle I hate having to do laundry. Avoid a wets spot when we want to go to bed I've read so many posts about waterproof blankets and even suggestions of puppy pads. But I just don't want that burden I want to go back to being able to have sex in a car kitchen bed without having to to decline because of a mess. Unfortunately I've only been able to find articles on helping your partner get to.
[23:28] Mike: Um, tonight.
[23:39] Keith: Ejaculation rather than getting them to stop. It would cgels be a good place to start I've seen mixed reviews on them improving and helping stop squirting lastly with having more frequent sex help I work distance I'm gone for a month at a time and we generally have sex once a week when I'm home I have a high libi libido but he does not.
[23:55] Mike: Yeah I mean yeah.
[23:57] Keith: Um, yeah, this is one of those things where if you let's say you have the occasional ability to to squirt I Really don't think you should train yourself to do that more I mean to the extent that they're disconnected from orgasms anyway and I think they are disconnect. From orgasms. But that's a bit controversial in some circles.
[24:18] Mike: Ah, yeah I mean it's ah this is It's an interesting question this person poses because essentially what she's really asking is like I have urinary urinary incontinence can I fix it.
[24:30] Keith: Yeah I be too.
[24:31] Mike: And yeah, there are things that can be done but you see if you're not willing to acknowledge that it's urinary incontinence then you're gonna have trouble. Yeah I mean like so women This is it like this is a thing a woman. Yeah.
[24:35] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean so listeners if you if if you doubt various things about squirting you can go back and listen to the 20 episodes where we've litigated this topic. They're fairly early in our podcast history.
[24:49] Mike: Yes, Yeah I mean there are things For example, after pregnancy. They're very like if somebody gains and loses a bunch of way things like that there are like situations where women can have incon. It's much less common for men because the apparatus in a man is longer. More complex? Um, ah well longer at least and ah so yeah, yeah, so this is a thing that happens and yeah, there are various surgical there. They're Exercises. You can do the surgical.
[25:11] Keith: Um.
[25:24] Mike: Interventions that are possible. But yes you would have to emotionally accept that. That's what's coming out of your body first. So and I think that could be the ah the blocker here.
[25:32] Keith: I I don't know I think she doesn't she wants to stop which implies that she doesn't think it's connected to her orgasms which is which is good. That's good start I mean step 1 is wanting to stop.
[25:48] Mike: Yeah, well maybe she I mean well I mean it's ah it's possible for someone to enjoy doing it I mean they're guys that go on and on about wanting to like the woman to come all over their face which makes you wonder if like they're. They really want a guy to come all over their face. In other words, they're sort of imagining a facial or something but I've seen that repeatedly where guys kind of like obsess over this kind of activity.
[26:05] Keith: Those.
[26:11] Keith: I think I used to before I was convinced that it's just urinary incontinence like when I yeah I think at some point I imagined that squirting was 100% correlated with orgasming for some women and that.
[26:15] Mike: Wait Can you say more about that.
[26:27] Mike: Um, but you knew it was urine or did you not know it was urine.
[26:29] Keith: I Think this is like before I had fully thought this through but at some point Yeah I thought that like a woman squirting was some sort of sign of like my sexual proficiency and yeah, ah, bathing in that rain seemed potentially cool.
[26:32] Mike: How could you.
[26:44] Mike: This is like this is like a friend that I knew in like middle school and high school and then after college and at some point I learned that he only discovered the beatles when he was like 25 and then he got really into the beatle. Yeah, or you have what 23 something like that.
[26:55] Keith: What yeah I bet they're they're pretty good.
[27:01] Mike: Got really into the beatles and he's like really and and I was like I was like dude you know my parents had records of the Beatles I listened to them in like third grade like I was I enjoyed them from like well I still enjoy them. But I mean I really heavily listened to them for like 5 years there sure exactly and this is like that. It's like how how did you.
[27:07] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean from your infancy surely. Oh I See let's see the analogy.
[27:20] Mike: I You're smart guy How how is it possible that at any time you thought that fluid was coming anywhere from the bladder but from the blad I mean like all you have to do is like take a cursory examination of any anatomy anything and it's like huh. There's no, there's no vessel for this.
[27:35] Keith: Mike I'm not defending. Ah yeah I'm not defending my position here like I'm I'm admitting. It was sort of ignorant naivety. But this notion that there is something a woman can do that is analogous to a man which is like ejaculating.
[27:38] Mike: Okay, okay, all right? okay.
[27:51] Keith: Ah, substance due to sexual pleasure was something that I believed was possible and I am now much less convinced. Yeah and I thought it was yeah and then her pleasure was connected to my performance now as I've.
[27:57] Mike: And it turned you on because you yeah you thought it was like connected to our pleasure and you're doing a good job. So I just want to say something. Um, first of all I never I never labored that under that misconception. But ah I wasn't even really aware of. Wording as a big phenomenon until like phenomenon until maybe five to ten years ago like it just wasn't on my right or but hang on 1 1 other thing I actually am more turned on by the fact that they can't do that see? Yeah, this is the thing I think that men should not be into sporting because it's what what? I what turns me on more with like females is like there.
[28:18] Keith: Yeah, okay.
[28:33] Mike: It's like the the sexual dichotomy right? It's like oh no, they don't have that I have that like that turns me on more. It's like I have the male part so they sort of need me to to perform that function. They're sort of missing the penis and.
[28:41] Keith: Do you get upset. Do you get upset when your partners are wet I see Okay, that's that's inside the bounds of acceptability or.
[28:47] Mike: No no, that's their function. No then their that's their function I don't I I Yeah well that's the hang on hang on. But but if if I'm watching a porn and a guy has just a ton of Precom I don't like that because that's the male doing the female function see I want I'm.
[29:04] Keith: I see.
[29:06] Mike: Is the thing and and honestly I think this is part of what bothers maybe other people but certainly me about like transgender stuff like it's fine and I've I've said on the podcast that like I've enjoyed transgender porn more I think than Keith does so like I'm I'm whatever. But.
[29:16] Keith: Right? ah.
[29:20] Mike: I Like I Really like the sexual dichotomy I think that men generally do I don't think it matters as much to women but men this is I think why men ah look at like the crotches of people like when I'm like swimming in a swimming pool I like the fact that the woman's swimsuit has nothing in the crotch. Right? It's like I like that dichotomy. It turns me out So I So I don't want the woman to squirt I want her to be incapable incapable of scorting I Want nothing to shoot out because she's not a man.
[29:45] Keith: Yeah I hear you like what you're saying makes conceptual sense I think in my mind The Genitalia difference is pretty profound and so esoteric differences in when and how much and what kind of substances they secrete. Are less important to me I hear you I understand what you're saying. Yes, yeah.
[30:06] Mike: I Want them to be as opposite as possible. So like I want the man to be totally dry until he orgasmed I Want the woman to be totally wet and not orgasm anything and like then they're going to be other like oh oh I can give you another example. So I remember very distinctly. Um, in high school. Ah the woman ah girl. That I had sex with a bunch of times had a clitoris that would like kind of erect a lot I think this is something that there is some um what I'm trying to say that it's not.. It's not consistent among women I'm I'm sure you've noticed this like different women have different amounts of erectileness in their clit.
[30:37] Keith: Are.
[30:39] Mike: Like this is something you've noticed okay and this woman this girl had a lot and I really did not like that and I think that's why because I'm like no this is now this feels masculine to me like it's just it's's it's enlarging too much I can feel it throbbing I don't want that I want it to be like very this is probably also why men don't like sorry they shouldn't say this strongly. But. It's considered more aesthetic to have smaller labia right? It's not they don't like it. It's but again, it's like it maximizes the sexual dichotomy. Yeah, and it makes things like anuses complicated because men and women both have anuses.
[31:00] Keith: Yes, the dichotomy. Yeah yeah, okay.
[31:14] Mike: Then you got to figure out a way to make to dichotomize those like how can the man's anus be different from the woman's.
[31:20] Keith: It's not much the man's is typically hairier. Although I think women might do things to make their.
[31:23] Mike: Right? And yeah, when watching porn like that always that yeah well the man's the woman's so like when I'm watching porn with like anal in it. It matters like I don't like an anus with nuts right in front of it so that to me creates the dichotomy there.
[31:34] Keith: Um, ah.
[31:39] Keith: Yeah, mean neither yeah.
[31:41] Mike: Right? I want the anus not to have nuts right in front of it but in in principle if you just saw the anus getting penetrated a man and a woman would be identical. You shouldn't care or a mouth. It's the same thing right? It's like why? Why do you know? I'm so mean we're goingnna go to like the glory Hole Fla Ah, ah.
[31:48] Keith: Do you think you could recognize a man's anus from a woman's anus assumed they'd both shaved and bleached God here we go? Yeah, yeah yeah.
[32:00] Mike: Situation where like I so I put my penis in the glory hole and there's an anus there and I don't know if it's a man or a woman's anus and I'm penetrating. There's no way I would know the difference I'm positive I could not tell the difference if I could look if I could look through the hole and see the nuts but I assuming I can't and I have to do it by feel then no, they would be identical.
[32:08] Keith: Yeah, if you zoom out enough of course. But yeah. as as always right yeah all right I I want to say 1 more thing on this squirting thing I don't know how you can.
[32:18] Mike: And so I I shouldn't I should actually be indifferent between anal with a man or a woman and yet I'm not indifferent.
[32:29] Keith: D-train yourself from incontinence I Do think you you mentioned this a little bit earlier. It seems that squirting is becoming a increasing certainly an increasingly discussed and maybe an increasingly participated in Phenomenon I I think some women may be sort of trying to train themselves to squirt.
[32:47] Mike: Yeah.
[32:48] Keith: And I would caution against going down that road because I'm not sure it's as easy to go back up it as it is to go down it.
[32:54] Mike: Yeah, and the thing I was thinking well you were saying that was whether when 2 men engage in doggy style anal sex if your nuts push against each other's nuts.
[33:06] Keith: Um, what? how is that felt like an sick Twitter I miss something there. Okay, while you're still meditating on that I'm going to move on to our next topic.
[33:08] Mike: Totally unrelated. It's just I was still thinking about the anus still thinking about the anus. So.
[33:21] Keith: Men who are able to last triggergi her go. How do you do it? First off i' am a woman and I want to acknowledge how difficult it must be to know that so much of the mutual satisfaction in a heterosexual encounter depends on you being able to last longer than she doess the female structure analogous to the penis is the clitoris. And if I had to put my clitoris in something that felt as good as a vagina and not come until someone else is finished I don't think I could you have my sympathy for the amount of mental pressure that must be that said if you are able to last for at least a few minutes during piv how do you do it? Do you practice edging. Do you try to distract yourself is a little bit of death grip syndrome a good thing.
[33:38] Mike: Um, her.
[33:57] Keith: You just naturally able to last please share your experience Slash wisdom. So.
[33:59] Mike: Sounds like sounds like first somebody wanting some literotica written for them.
[34:04] Keith: Yeah I mean I sort of liked the articulation of of this post First of all didn't have any detectable grammar errors and a decent sentence structure. But what I wanted to get to was this guy's response which I think.
[34:09] Mike: Yeah.
[34:21] Keith: Sort of sums up to sexual experience in a way that I hadn't thought of before he says one of the benefits to masturbation and this is true for both men and women is that you gain better understanding over your body's or gasmic process. In other words, you develop a sense of where you are on the path towards Climax So that.
[34:23] Mike: Oh wow.
[34:38] Keith: With enough of that awareness you can figure out when to slow down or speed up or to take a pause as a way of accelerating or decelerating the process to be clear. This isn't some kind of perfect system by any means. But my point is that the better that you understand how your own body works the easier it becomes to learn how to control it to whatever degree you can. But the same reason people who learn to edge are able to have better orgasmic control as well because that's ah, that's all about identifying where the point of no return is and learning how to ride that edge as long as possible is with all things this takes time and practice though.
[35:06] Mike: Yeah I could tell when you started reading what this guy wrote that he was some sort of like weird tantric guy. He's like sitting on a butt plug with one of those little buddhist bowl Bell things playing it and yeah like that I could tell just from the way he was approaching this I mean.
[35:15] Keith: Yeah, the the 8 hour candle lit room.
[35:24] Mike: I'm not sure that's I Guess that's true I think you learned that pretty quickly like the kind of stages.
[35:28] Keith: I mean I would I think you can compress the timescale here and just say like look like you sort of learn when you're getting to various ah cliff functions that you that you want to try to avoid and.
[35:43] Mike: That's right I The yeah.
[35:46] Keith: But maybe you're right? Maybe after masturbating 30 times you sort of figure it out.
[35:51] Mike: Well I mean it also look I mean I think okay there a couple things one is that ah I kind of found appealing her notion of in of ah putting her clit into something I was imagining like um, a really small scale person.
[36:05] Keith: Um.
[36:08] Mike: But so small that it could be fucked by a clit and then that person fucking another person like it gets just keeps eating smaller and smaller. So I was imagining that I don't know that a woman there are like these toys that are basically like will suck on your clit I don't know I think in most cases, a woman actually wouldn't would find that not compelling like it would sort of hurt. Not be that stimulating de have to inserted and something but ah I think that most of the reason guys Premature ejaculate is none of these things. It's because they are in an early encounter with a new partner or an early encounter in their life and they're so excited to be doing this to a woman that it.
[36:34] Keith: Ok.
[36:47] Mike: So I don't I So I don't I don't like in other words, Um, ah the first in my life and that's actually probably not true for me but I was going to say like I bet it's kind, but but the frequency of masturbation I bet does not decrease likely at a premature ejaculate is the point like I don't I don't I don't know if you can train yourself through like.
[37:05] Keith: Huh.
[37:05] Mike: You know, just masturbating a ton a ton of ton because you're still going to have this new stimulus and the thing is like your your brain rewards you in a fundamentally increased way when you're with a life partner. This is something that Vr and will eventually simulate to the level. Yeah.
[37:18] Keith: Let me think about this I think when you masturbate you do sort of encounter various increases in arousal and you can sort of modulate that depending on whether you want to watch more porn or not. Or whether you want to come but I'm not sure if masturbating I'm not sure if masturbating 10 times a week versus once a week would materially change my ability to sense those various increases and decreases in.
[37:39] Mike: Yeah, you want to watch more porn or not yeah, go on.
[37:57] Keith: Ah, likeliness to orgasm in the next ten seconds or not like I think you sort of you sort of learn how it works with yeah you you get you get 90% of the benefit for 10% of the masturbation.
[37:58] Mike: Well it which it yeah.
[38:10] Mike: Right? I mean it's some very local sense like if you masturbate 5 times in a day and then you have sex with a woman. Sure it's going to delay your ejaculation. But if you have to impose like ah a one week dry spell in there. The reality is that I think you're going to have a tendency and if you have a new very attractive.
[38:15] Keith: Okay.
[38:26] Mike: Part to you partner. It's going to be you, You're going to be more toward your tendency of how quickly you ejaculate and I don't think any level of masturbation is going to change that. Okay.
[38:34] Keith: Um I think I I guess I disagree slightly I think you could employ some sort of mindfulness practice while having sex which is to like pay attention to whether you think you're getting close to some sort of edge and I think some people might. Not be as mindful about it as others and so trying to pay attention to it could make does make some difference.
[38:59] Mike: Yeah I mean that must be true because they're men who are unable to do like the pullout method or whatever ah or unable to they. You know they have the condom breaks or something. There's there's there's there's pregnancy the unplanned pregnancy that happens basically because the guy for the the guy's fault.
[39:09] Keith: Right.
[39:15] Keith: Is a moron.
[39:17] Mike: Basically yeah, he will or he's unable to he doesn't have the wherewithal that you're describing to sort of understand and control his his responses.
[39:24] Keith: Yeah, maybe I shouldn't victim blame the man here. He's ah not being mindful.
[39:28] Mike: Does anybody in society think that the man is the victim when a woman is impregnated by accident or you know unwanted an unexpected pregnancy.
[39:36] Keith: But what I mean there's one and only answer here which is yeah no nobody thinks that but I don't.
[39:44] Mike: No nobody. Yeah, that's why you're your your? yeah so I don't think it's victim blame. It's It's like ah it's like culpable blaming or whatever you're you're blaming the yeah.
[39:49] Keith: Yeah, we're not going down this road all right? What is the most. Yeah.
[39:55] Mike: I hear you but do we hang on hang on hang on but the the ah I but I still think that the okay let let's ask it this way. Let's say you have a ah as sometimes happens for you. You have a new.
[40:11] Keith: Okay, yes, but.
[40:11] Mike: Very attractive partner and you are for the first time having sex with her. Do you really employ mindfulness practices is this like do you is that a thing or do you orgasm pretty quickly.
[40:21] Keith: Um, ah I don't think I've ever meditated during sex I meditate quite a bit but I don't think I've ever really tried to focus on being mindful during sex I should.
[40:32] Mike: Okay, so you basically just let it happen. You just you just you just know that in those first couple encounters you're going to come pretty quickly like within 10 minutes say okay that this is the thing like I don't think I mean I in principle could you do that? Yes, but.
[40:38] Keith: Yeah, sure. But I bet Yeah I mean if you put some money on the line and we're like look you got to be a little bit more responsible here I think I could be responsible is not the right word a little bit.
[40:56] Mike: I Don't know man with a new partner and also like I have another question Actually this is something that I was thinking about well in the supermarket the other day that I wanted to ask you what percentage of the time and you can not answer this if you don't want to but but by I'm curious what percentage of the time with a new partner.
[40:58] Keith: More left less selfish. It's hard. It is.
[41:15] Mike: Your first sexual encounter are you and or her and or she above the legal limit alcohol wise.
[41:23] Keith: I Think it's pretty high I think it's pretty high ah as I've gotten older as I as I know as I'm getting older I'm running into more people who don't drink at all I think that's becoming It's good I Think that's becoming an increasing trend at least.
[41:25] Mike: Okay, so it's close to like hundred and.
[41:40] Keith: And those spheres that I've been dating in but I think generally in the Us There's more people who don't drink at all.
[41:42] Mike: Um, okay I sort of yeah the reason I was wondering that was because I I have some suspicion for a man less. So but I have some suspicion that women might often drink. Before first second third sexual encounters because it helps him get over some kind of hump well. But and it's not social right? It's like the hump of okay now I'm going to undress in front of this guy that doesn't know me that well and he's going to stick his penis in me like that's my sense. Yeah sure.
[42:00] Keith: Yes, it's a social lubricant. That's there's no controversy there.
[42:11] Keith: I Think that's it's okay, we can have a vocabulary discussion but it it it lowers inhibition increases confidence.
[42:17] Mike: Sure right? right? like that must be a very like for the guy it's It's yeah, it's obviously a bigger deterrent for the woman, a bigger step for the woman in that situation than for the man. Um, she's opening herself up in this profound way.
[42:29] Keith: Yeah sure I mean sometimes you know men need some liquid courage as they say Yeah, some men are more naturally aggressive than others. But I think alcohol can help some men who are more passive generally be more.
[42:38] Mike: Well I would yeah but I would guess I'm going to guess.
[42:47] Mike: Right? Yeah, Okay, okay, that's yeah, that makes sense like so you're you're basically saying that the man might not right? The man might not actually pursue that hell he'll even if he's totally sober He'll want to pursue having sex with her but he might not be willing to take whatever actions or ne necessary. Okay, that makes sense.
[42:49] Keith: Assertive.
[42:53] Keith: There's benefits for both sides I don't if benefits is the right word. There's yeah, there's differences in Behavior outsides. Yes, right right.
[43:06] Mike: So they're each. They each have a thing that they're they're using the alcohol to accomplish that makes sense.
[43:10] Keith: Yeah, well and like alcohol is such a common part of early dating as well because it is a social lubricant as well and so people feel more comfortable interacting especially introverts.
[43:22] Mike: Yeah I mean but the see one of the things that it makes occurs to me makes that occurs to me then is that means I mean there even even a prolific dater only has as a man or as a one will say as a man has a relatively small number of times in their life. When they have this experience of a new novel attractive partner that they're excited about and then you're you're dimming the memory of that with alcohol like I could imagine a man like specifically wanting to be like no no I'm going to this is going to be great I think yeah. That would make sense to me. They're like no no I'm like pretend to drink maybe but actually you're like no I want to remember this This is gonna be awesome.
[43:59] Keith: I hear yeah I don't understand why there are so many sort of profoundly interesting experiences that people get hammered through their own weddings. They go to game 7 of a sporting event and they turn it into an open bar like I don't understand why people do that.
[44:12] Mike: Um, yeah.
[44:15] Mike: Um, yeah.
[44:19] Keith: It's like this is something that you want to have your memories well crystallized about.
[44:25] Mike: That's right I mean if I were if I were going to the electric chair I for sure would want to be drunk or like valium or something but man if I'm going to have like go to game seven if I cared about a sports team or if it whatever like yeah I want to be like stone cold sober I Want to be like present like let's have this memory in my head and and just really experience it. Yeah I Totally agree.
[44:35] Keith: Um, yeah, right? Yeah yeah, I've been lucky enough to be to a few game seven s in my life and I never drink and it's strange, especially as the games wear on just seeing the.
[44:42] Mike: Weird.
[44:52] Keith: Drunkenness around me. Um.
[44:54] Mike: I consider the fact that I've never been to a game 7 to be an element of of something lucky for me. So that's different and also my my pension for rooting for teams from Cincinnati where ah, not none.
[44:57] Keith: Given your stead in life. Yeah I think that's right I think right? Yeah yeah, unfortunate choice there? Yeah well they don't even have hockey and and basketball. So your only hope would be baseball.
[45:08] Mike: A whole lot of game sevens coming out of that town. That's true for game 7 That's right? yeah.
[45:17] Keith: But yeah I mean rich men typically go to I mean wasn't elon Musk famously at the super bowl wasn't he sitting next to like Jared Kushner or something or see to sitting next to some republican how so.
[45:26] Mike: Um, the weirdest person at the super bowl this year was ah Paul Mccartney which I I I guess I would bet $1000 that like I could come up with a multiple choice test that he couldn't pass on the rules of American Football
[45:43] Mike: Yeah, it wouldn't require like anything. It wouldn't be like fair catch kicks and stuff it would be like not as not super yeah like how many how many points do you get for a safety. You'd be just you know something a little esoteric but nothing crazy and I just think he'd be like I look I don't know man. Yeah.
[45:45] Keith: Right? right? right? How many yards are needed for a first down or something. Yeah, right right? Okay, you're your're gatekeeping your're gatekeeping Paul Cartney's attendance with the super.
[45:59] Mike: I mean now soccer I'm sure he knows quite well. I Mean it's just stupid right? I mean like you know, whatever look He's got a lot of good things about him but this is one of the negative things. Yeah kind of yeah know he's got some good stuff. Yeah.
[46:04] Keith: Ah.
[46:08] Keith: Yeah, he does and being in the Beatles was one of them. He's he's not all right for himself. Okay, what is the most polite way to ask a casual friend if he wants to have sex with me hey just need pointers on a conversation I want to have what I'm nervous about. Broke up with my ex a couple months ago and I'm not really feeling like chasing new relationships right now but I still have a healthy libido and want to get laid I've got a casual friend who lives in my apartment building I don't know I'm super well but he has always been very sweet and polite to me and we hang out together. Sometimes we have a little bit of an age gap I am 20 I believe he is early 30 s. I think would prevent us from actually going out together or anything but I don't but I do think he's hot and I'd like to go for a ride if he is down. He's down. Don't worry about that. But I've never really done the friends with benefits thing and I'm not sure how you go about asking someone for that is it as simple as just asking him. Hey. Do you want to come over and fuck me. Yeah. Probably what is the most polite way to tell someone that you're not looking for a relationship but would like to have sex with them. Um I have never yeah, like the notion of being propositioned by a woman like this is like so it's happened to me kind of once I was on a date.
[47:12] Mike: Um, this you know guys are afraid Yeah, go ahead? yeah.
[47:24] Keith: So like already I'm on a date so that's just completely different from the circumstance right? like that already shrinks the you know search space here by 4 orders of magnitude. But yeah, we were like at the bar and I think we'd had a drink I think was a drink.
[47:26] Mike: Yes, yes.
[47:42] Keith: And she was like do you want to go back to your place in Smash and I was like ok and but it was just so unusual. How she was just like yeah I did this was years ago now. Yeah I mean.
[47:51] Mike: Um, did you okay and you didn't get arrested or I think she wasn't a policeman wasn't like a trick. Okay.
[47:58] Keith: And with yeah those are good questions because that is such an unusual thing for a woman to do. We had been chatting online for a while. So I think she had sort of vetted me in her mind not as much as most people seem to usually. But.
[48:03] Mike: And what like and she just left afterward and and you never talked to her again. Okay, okay, but what? yeah, But what I'm interested in also is then she had no, there was no subsequent entanglement so it was she wanted to fuck and then she wanted nothing else to do with you.
[48:18] Keith: You know.
[48:25] Keith: Yeah I think we met up 2 more times but it was basically just for sex.
[48:30] Mike: Yeah, okay yeah I mean look it's a thing that happens I believe that it happens you you have an experience there and like I've encountered various other situations like that I think it's not common. Ah, it's much fantasized about by men and and yeah.
[48:43] Keith: It's not common even on early dates like for a woman to just boldly say like let's go. Let's go do this.
[48:48] Mike: I think I mean even if it were a thing that was somewhat common like let's say every woman in their life. Did this 5 times as an individual man you wouldn't hear it very often because every single guy she ever says it to would say yes so it just wouldn't just like that the the needle wouldn't come around to you very often.
[49:00] Keith: Right? right? right in on a single night a man might approach 10 different women at a bar.
[49:08] Mike: You know.
[49:11] Mike: Right? Yes, men are much more likely to get get rejected and that's in that sort of way I Yeah yes yeah, so I don't yeah so asking what how you approach a guy if you want I mean look the real. This is a like.
[49:18] Keith: Yeah, women have been hit on generally ah but.
[49:30] Mike: I Always think there's a hidden premise to these kind of questions which is ah she's not attractive and I think it's like you should just deal with that like forthrightly so it's like because I actually think that's an interesting question. Ok so.
[49:37] Keith: Um, yeah.
[49:42] Mike: Yeah, if you're not willing to talk about that then I think it becomes less interesting because you're imagining that like it's like it's it's It's some supermodel who is just like hey you want to fuck? Of course he's going to say yes that but let's say that she's a little bit overweight like you know her face isn't that pretty or whatever like ok now.
[49:49] Keith: Right.
[49:59] Mike: It's more first of all, it's more believable as a situation because she might have a harder time getting guys that are interested in dating her and secondly he might say no, he might say no right? I mean there's an attractiveness level where you would just be like no'll pass right? Of course there is there is for everybody and so in that situation then this becomes an interesting question. It's like ok what does she do? well.
[50:12] Keith: Um, of course yes.
[50:18] Mike: She's afraid of getting hurt. But I think that she's more like a guy in this situation right? that she will fifty fifty seventy to 30 get rejected and I think you but like the bottom line is she sort of has to put it out there and you say yeah probably you say something a little more euphemistic you say something that would lead the sex as opposed to being like hey I'm going to. Have my door unlocked and my my pussy out at seven P M tonight like you don't do that.
[50:38] Keith: Um, I kind of liked the first comment here says probably the most turned on I've ever been is when I went out with a girl and afterwards she pretty much said I know this is forward but how do you feel about hooking up. It was direct and it was so complimentary that it turned me On. We men. Don't get that direct communication very often just text him that or ask them in person. I Think she should just text him that I know this is forward about how do you feel about hooking up because he can just be like no thanks and it's so forward that he doesn't really need to worry about hurting her feelings.
[51:10] Mike: Yeah, but if but there so this reminds me of this thing. Let's see you You said that if a woman is more attractive. She should be willing to have sex earlier because having sex earlier makes you less attractive something like that it was last episode you brought this up am I misstating it.
[51:26] Keith: What yeah, that's not exactly it but go on for the yeah I think that I think that a woman suffers a woman suffer. Ah an attractive woman suffers less downside risk of the man ghosting her if she has sex with him early then yeah.
[51:29] Mike: Yeah, no I know this is an important rule of's numb for you. So.
[51:39] Mike: Okay, so I think that if a woman is less attractive again like I think this conversation's sort of not that interesting if you assume the woman's pretty attractive because then sure that that text you said would be fine, but let's say she's moderately less attractive I think that I would be more I would be less receptive to the hey, let's just fuck.
[51:51] Keith: Okay.
[51:59] Mike: Because I'd be like oh like this is sort of sad like this is kind of gross whereas then I would be if she hung out with me for a while and there was something about her personality like I think I actually would be like as a guy you want there to be something that you're attracted to and like it is possible for a guy to have some attraction to personality and other details of a person.
[52:16] Keith: I say.
[52:19] Mike: Like some sort of commonalities and so it's like yeah if you just it really depends on your attractiveness level.
[52:21] Keith: But you think if she announces her intentions early. He she couldn't make up the attractiveness Gap later I know but you could undo the rejection later is you got to know her better.
[52:29] Mike: I think I might just reject her because I might think this is oh oh Okay, so you're saying she announces her intentions but doesn't immediately try to fuck you. She basically says look like I I don't know man like if a person that you perceive as less attractive from you is like then you is like hey. Want to have sex with you like it kind of grosses you out a little like it would help. Yeah, it would help it's that thing. That's why I brought up your point about it lowering the woman on an absolute scales attractiveness like she needs to build herself up in that case and so then I think she should be reluctant to like just immediately come in like that and she should instead like try to.
[52:48] Keith: Um, yeah, it makes them even less attractive. The desperation is a minus one.
[53:06] Keith: Yeah.
[53:07] Mike: I Don't know like make you more attracted to I don't know it's tricky like this is the thing is I think this is why like my my sort of philosophical belief here is as a woman becomes less attractive her life becomes a little more manlike like she you know so her decision making has to be a little more like my decision making where it's like yeah.
[53:22] Keith: Yeah, just to be more sex seeking.
[53:27] Mike: Well, but also like she has to demonstrate other whether it's you know she's wealthy or successful or smart or like intriguing or she has there's to be something else or humorous like if a woman is really really funny, but she's like a not that attractive. It's like I don't know that could be you be like oh okay, you know.
[53:36] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[53:46] Keith: Um.
[53:46] Mike: But like if she's just like look ah I'm unattractive and I just want to fuck you're like and there's also the thing of like you're thinking. Well how many other people have you sent this text like you know the attractive woman doesn't send that text so you would be sort of like whoa like huh and you'd wonder if she was a cop or if she was a prostitute or something but here you'd just be like okay like I'm.
[54:00] Keith: Um, yeah.
[54:04] Keith: Yeah I don't know I feel like setting aside attractiveness differences. So let's say they're they're matched or she's more attractive I think saying I know this is forward but how do you feel about hooking up has basically zero downside risk.
[54:05] Mike: Um, guy number 7 yeah.
[54:11] Mike: Um, yeah.
[54:20] Mike: If you assumed attractiveness and matched. Yes I Just think that that's I think that like I already said my piece I think that's important I think that attractiveness is basically never matched in this situation I think that I think that yeah we can disagree. Whatever I I think that.
[54:27] Keith: Okay, yeah I agree. Yeah, you're not imagine. Yeah you can't imagine a sir a situation where a woman wants to sleep put them in.
[54:38] Mike: This is all no no I can I can but it. But if but it but this type of situation I from my life experience know this woman is much less attractive than the man. That's what's going on. That's why she wants to do this like if she was attractive or you know matched to him as you say. She wouldn't need to do this. She would behave with the sort of standard playbook that women use because she'd be interested in relationship and all this other stuff. She's less attractive and so she's like fuck I Want to fuck this guy. Yeah, okay.
[55:03] Keith: Yeah I'll go so far as to say on average, you're right? all right? I think we have time for.
[55:11] Mike: Ah, if yeah, that's not right i' I'm my I yeah are you can email a really attractive women that just want to fuck definitely email me at YMMV pop at gmail.com prove me wrong. It prove me wrong.
[55:18] Keith: Yeah, right? Yeah, we have but mediocre looking man right here? Yeah, um this words it says. Oh yeah I remember why I wanted to bring this up. What is something you've learned along your sexual journey.
[55:28] Mike: So.
[55:35] Keith: And the first comment here is well. This is really weird, but okay here we go when you're eating pussy. You got to have a rhythm going that isn't totally uniform I will never tell my wife but when she comes it's because I'm riffing to white wedding or the Alien an harm version of smooth criminal in my head using her clip hey it works.
[55:44] Mike: Um, first.
[55:53] Mike: Sure.
[55:54] Keith: Um, I'm not sure that this has been my experience I think random motion during oral is not as good as ah, rhythmic appropriately applied motion.
[56:00] Mike: Um, okay.
[56:08] Mike: Well, that's what he sang.
[56:12] Keith: I don't he says riffing to white wedding or the alien Ant Farm version of smooth criminal. Yeah, he says you got to have a rhythm going that isn't totally uniform. So yeah i.
[56:14] Mike: Well white wedding is a rhythm right? Not we intended is that white wedding. Maybe maybe but these are songs that have like you know, whatever their beat is like 120 or something. Oh oh.
[56:32] Keith: Yeah I think I mean the number 1 thing you hear is yeah like what should I do to help you know my female partner come and the the number 1 thing you see is yeah when she tells you don't stop or keep going like don't switch what you're doing like.
[56:40] Mike: Get a vibrator. Oh sure.
[56:48] Keith: Don't apply more pressure. Don't apply less don't like suddenly do this like new thing just like do what you were doing like listen to listen to what she's saying follow the instruction and um, yeah, this notion of just sort of like randomly darting around her clit doesn't seem like.
[56:52] Mike: Now.
[57:03] Mike: I don't I don't think that's what I mean I think that this would be mostly rhythmic. Yeah I think this is mostly rhythmic I I do have an opinion on this though. That's a little bit different that you could maybe differ but you'll probably well. We'll see so there is like the advice to spell the alphabet or whatever like there are these various pieces of advice. Okay.
[57:07] Keith: Okay, you think I've misread this. Um.
[57:18] Keith: Yes.
[57:23] Mike: I have been persuaded I can change my mind I've been persuaded that the that these things amount to ah the Kiffin Technique would you want to do you remember what that is. That's the thing where you're perpendicular.
[57:35] Keith: What's I don't remember oh right.
[57:41] Mike: So in other words, the the motions are going instead of going top bottom to top or bottom to top is would be the direction that you prefer you don't want her facing away from you which would then be top to bottom instead you're going left to right or right to left and typically you actually since your tongue moves much better up down than left right.
[57:51] Keith: Um.
[57:57] Keith: Up and down right? You're going across her clit instead of along her clit.
[58:00] Mike: You actually orient your body perpendicular exactly exactly and what I've concluded is that when people find that oh there's this tricky thing that Works. It's just that they're doing that. And in fact, the thing that works the best is to just do that And yeah, then I agree with like a rhythmic motion that the real mistake is going up down instead of left right. Yes, That's what I think.
[58:20] Keith: Ah art shall I get the chance I will a B test this.
[58:27] Mike: The problem is that you have to move your put your body perpendicular and it's like a little less. Ah, it's come less comfortable I don't think so what you can, but then you're only then you're it's like the vectors or you're only getting.
[58:31] Keith: Maybe you could do like of it is maybe you could do like a ° angle maybe you can split the difference somehow yeah I can I'm I might be able to angle my tong a little bit or use my neck to.
[58:43] Mike: 1 over square to 2 or whatever of it.
[58:51] Keith: You know, get my head The rest of the way perpendicular.
[58:56] Mike: Ah, yeah I mean I think that you like the trick is to I mean you can look up a video like the trick is to actually put your body completely permendicular. So you're like making like a right angle which is a little weird. Um you need I don't know your bed might not be big enough. You might have to do it on your your floor.
[59:04] Keith: Yeah, yeah. I Have a normal queen sized bed I think I can maybe hang my legs off the side various various things.
[59:15] Mike: I Don't think your body would fit on that bed. Ah, ah, okay, you can't your legs off the side. That's that's fine. But anyway this is just like this is why I think like the spelling the alphabet or any of these tricks work is because actually like there are horizontal strokes in there and that matters and it turns out that like the horizontal Stroke mat is more effective. And then but it's but most people don't do it because it requires putting your body in a different position Cetera et Cetera et Cetera and so people think like oh here's this weird technique. The Rhythm I Generally agree with what you're saying about the rhythm The like it's not doing random things. Agreed is not good and like some rhythm that like you know.
[59:37] Keith: Okay.
[59:50] Mike: I dont know it was like 1 of those disco or whatever that the thing they do where there's like a build and then a drop or whatever like people do in the the club like that's not desired like you you won. But if it was something like look you know, just 80 beats per minute constant which a lot of songs basically are then I think that works.
[59:52] Keith: E.
[01:00:04] Keith: Okay, all right ladies let us know YMMBPod at gmail.com whether you prefer horizontal motion or vertical motion along your clip. Yeah.
[01:00:13] Mike: I Suspect most haven't experienced horizontal and they can look up the K Kevin K K I V I N K I V N look that up. Yeah.
[01:00:22] Keith: Yeah, let us know if they don't know all right? That'll do it for episode one eleven of your mileage may vary again. You can reach us at ymmvpod on Twitter or at ymmvpod at gmail.com and that's also the place to ask us questions. Let us know if you'd like those like us to use them on the air.
[01:00:37] Mike: Yeah, and Keith's paying you thirty bucks right now for feedback. Yeah.
[01:00:41] Keith: $30 this week. So yeah, get us had feedback thanks to Mike for his time thanks to you for listening and we will see you next week

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 111: Hot Girl Sex, Oral Tongue Technique, Lasting Longer, Asking For More Sex

Episode Transcript