Your Mileage May Vary: Swallowing Superman's Semen, The Basement Masturbator, Heart-ons, Slow Orgasms, Anal Orgasms

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith I've collated a pretty mighty list of topics for us to cover today including so-called affection erections the dangers of too much masturbation whether coming too quickly can be flattering and more. And Keith my co-host is Mike hi Mike ah not much did you see the baseball game. We went to last night or yesterday afternoon ended up being more exciting than we thought when we left the yeah they tied. But then the other team won who cares, it's.
[00:20] Mike: Hey Keith what's up.
[00:31] Mike: I did not what happened did they they they came back all right? Yeah, it was fun going to a baseball game and I mean this is like the joy of sitting I Guess joy.
[00:38] Keith: Baseball. Ah you mentioned.
[00:48] Mike: So semi joy of sitting near sex podcasters who were at a baseball game. It was a you know major league game and ah we can say it was an Oakland days game in Oakland and people within say a ten meter radius of us got to hear us like commenting on what percentage of the women were fuckable in the audience or in the spectators. Whatever and ah.
[00:52] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.
[01:07] Mike: I Can't be. There was a lot of like sex topics. Of course that were discussed so it was it was well with a question was I mean it's a little bit interesting. There was an interesting element. It was um, what's the percentage for for for for me, not you So it's going to be lower for you. Um.
[01:10] Keith: Um, what did we arrive on on that front 5%
[01:19] Keith: All right I remember yes.
[01:26] Mike: What's the percentage for a major league baseball player and so my take was it's 10% of the women for me and 1% of the women for the major league players that would be worthy of sex I then lowered it by half because I looked around and it wasn't as compelling as I hoped. Of course we're limiting it to 18 and up. Only.
[01:34] Keith: Are you.
[01:45] Keith: Yes.
[01:45] Mike: For obvious reasons. Um and but there was this question we were talking about which was ah what? so I mean there's there's a presumption I would make that a single major league baseball player or really any professional Athlete has some sort of chorus of women. He can have sex with and in every city he visits and then it was like this question of like how does he meet them.
[02:02] Keith: Right? right? Yeah yeah I mean that's how yeah, that's how we got to wondering about what percentage of women physically in the stadium would be intriguing to a major league baseball player.
[02:04] Mike: Is there a tinder for these guys is there? Do they go to the bar the club do they have some person that finds them. We don't really know.
[02:22] Keith: And the a's do not have the highest attendance in the world and yeah I think it might be in like the single digits and of course there's 25 players on each team. So I think they need to go somewhere else in town to ah source.
[02:24] Mike: Um, right.
[02:38] Keith: But they may be looking for.
[02:39] Mike: Yeah I mean that's I mean I know like in Los Angeles you would go somewhere with bottle service or New York there there are things that cater specifically to to wealthy men surely that's true in San Francisco as well. But that does imply that the hotels that major league team stay at probably are well situated for.
[02:43] Keith: Right.
[02:50] Keith: Are.
[02:57] Mike: I Mean frankly, the the managers of the teams would want them to have easy access so they aren't wasting a bunch of time hunting for ejaculations.
[03:03] Keith: Yeah, that's true I wonder I wonder if the money ball of 2023 is catering to your player's sexual needs so they they can focus more on the batting cages.
[03:16] Mike: I mean they do I mean think about it they do if they have 80 away games a season and they're they're like okay, whatever and they're um, they're done like 10 at a time or something or you know it's a few weeks three weeks at a time or something these guys you know.
[03:19] Keith: 81
[03:26] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[03:32] Mike: Are a way if they have a steady girl from whatever it is. They're away from that person for a while and I mean you can't It's reasonable to expect them to need just like a man going off to war or whatever like some sort of comfort. Yes, exactly.
[03:39] Keith: I was just going to bring up the wartime comfort girls and then decided that I didn't want to go down that path.
[03:48] Mike: For sure and so and and and be given that they are high placed high status men. You could certainly imagine women being interested in at least a shot at them. So.
[03:54] Keith: Yeah, all right before we continue here. Ah so we did get a bit of a wave of emails due to our promotion last week but I'll just mention it at the beginning of the show again. We pay $10 for any feedback we receive. So if you are so inclined please send us feedback. To at Ymmvpod on Twitter or at Y Mmv Pod E Gmail Dot Com and we're still paying $10 but the what would we? What did we do thirty bucks yeah I had to I had to resort to $10 for yeah I did.
[04:23] Mike: Yeah, cleaned us out. We got a number of I mean you I people clearly were waiting now.
[04:32] Keith: Ah, gave 30 to the first 10 and then started giving 10 out. Yeah man to refinance our homes here. Um all right, did you have something else you wanted to bring up before I launch into some of our topics here.
[04:33] Mike: Yeah, gets expensive.
[04:46] Mike: I did um two weeks ago we had a lovely lady who sent us um, an audio over self-masturbating and orgasming. It's on that it's episode one ten you can listen and I should say that our analytics we do get from some of the podcasting platform's analytics which include what part of the episode was listened to the most and.
[04:56] Keith: Um.
[05:06] Mike: There was a big spike in that section which is really funny. So I mean there were definitely people who immediately zoomed forward to listen to that and also you know, listened repeatedly to that part so clearly some masturbatory activity. Ah 1 of her questions we called her Susie was about this boyfriend that she had.
[05:15] Keith: Right.
[05:25] Mike: Has whatever who is long distance and sort of was not is not responding um as excitedly as she wants to her um audios like that or other emails and photos she sends and stuff like that and I got a piece of feedback that. Really the feed because we were sort of beating around the Bush a little really the feedback we should be is just to be brutally honest here and tell her that it's because he's not that endure that a guy if a guy can't see his way to um, trying to score with you when you're being pretty obviously and and she's attractive to by the way. Um. Open to him. It's very likely that he's kind of he's he's just he's just taking what he can from you but and but not not that into you. Do you do you have any thoughts on that.
[06:06] Keith: I Don't remember if the premise of her email was that he wasn't that into her I think she just wanted to know how she could amp things up further now you might say right? So you might say that her wanting to amp things up further implies that whatever she's doing now.
[06:15] Mike: Yes, that's right.
[06:25] Keith: Isn't enough but I don't think that necessarily follows it might but it doesn't necessarily follow.
[06:29] Mike: It Well I mean the suggestion here which I think has validity is that if as a woman you find yourself in the category of wondering how to amp things up how to get the guy more interested. You've already lost I mean ah men are programmed to to impregnate. We're like the opposite of the terminator where the sperm.
[06:36] Keith: Yeah I.
[06:47] Mike: Inseminator. Whatever we're trying to trying to get you pregnant and um or they are at least and ah, there's there's something else going on if he's reluctant in that area typically and the something else is almost certainly that he's just willing to have sex with you and carry things on but he he doesn't He's not interested.
[07:05] Keith: Is there some room for is there. Some wriggle room here where it's ah you know, maybe he doesn't know how to respond to like I've been I've dated people who send me photos from time to time and I never know.
[07:22] Keith: What the most elegant way to respond is I want to affirm them and I want them to feel enabled empowered I want them to continue sending me such things. Usually let's say the sake of this conversation I do what. What does how does 1 respond politely to you know, somebody sending you a nude or a provocative photo of some kind.
[07:46] Mike: So I have a couple things to say about that one is that um your intellectual approach to it already betrays. The reality of the situation that that sometimes at least and I don't I want to be careful here because I know that Keith might have a significant other listening at some point. Ah, but ah.
[07:52] Keith: Right? right? right.
[08:04] Mike: That could betray your your intellectual approach maybe betray that you're not um, Romeo in Romeo and Juliet that something else is going on in your mind. Perhaps if you were smitten. You would not think be thinking that way. Um, one other thing is that I know.
[08:09] Keith: Move.
[08:18] Mike: From at least 1 story. You've told me that you have some experience with such esoteric things as phone sex which I think in your case was mutually masturbating with someone while on the phone with them and I bring that up and yeah that I wasn't going to say that.
[08:27] Keith: Yes, who I later found out who I later found out was a catfish is one of the more shameful experiences of my life. Although it was shame and in retrospect so that's not quite as bad.
[08:43] Mike: Yeah, so I bring that up because um I want to say that in eighth grade eighth grade. Maybe this ninth I think it was eighth though I encountered a woman. It was a woman a young woman who we had phone calls that involved this type of activity.
[08:49] Keith: Um.
[09:00] Mike: And the point being that even at that age I knew how to respond to a woman and this was because I very much was excited about the opportunity. She lived like 4 towns over and I never met her in person I'm sure if I had I would have not I say I think it's likely it was not the best looking person.
[09:02] Keith: Yeah.
[09:18] Keith: Oh.
[09:20] Mike: Know but I did know how to behave So I Do think that men even from a quite tender age have some kind of memory bank or Creativity Bank for how to operate in these situations and so I actually I do question whether a guy would be intellectualizing like that or confused if he was kind of you know. On fire running around trying to have sex with you and and get with you I don't know about that.
[09:45] Keith: Yeah I guess in my defense I'll say something like I might want the content with what if I Just don't want to be like masturbating in that moment like ah.
[10:00] Keith: And yeah, they're like imposing. Yeah.
[10:01] Mike: In the moment when you receive the photo or video. Um I still think ok let to be honest I just go back to this thing of okay, you're a 20 year old man boy whatever.
[10:11] Keith: Right? Yep, right.
[10:15] Mike: You you don't have 27 different partners. You have no partners and you get a video of a woman masturbating and she's like yeah yeah, men's bodies are designed so that yeah I guess if you had a hangover if you had like an intestinal parasite. There are things that would stop you but I think in almost all.
[10:22] Keith: Right.
[10:32] Keith: Um, you had a limb sheared off right.
[10:35] Mike: Sure but in in something like so north of 99% of situations. You would want to masturbate as a man and so it's very suspicious that this guy is less than enthusiastic look I listened to it. It wasn't sent to me and it made me want to masturbate immediately. So.
[10:38] Keith: Right? right.
[10:44] Keith: Yeah. Yeah I had the same response.
[10:54] Mike: But I should say that I also got the feedback that on my subreddit/r/ curated amateur porn which um continues to grow apace. Ah, thank you? Ah I've been given the feedback that um someone was surprised at how much porn I post there daily and.
[11:00] Keith: Yes, congratulations Mike.
[11:12] Keith: Um.
[11:13] Mike: Ah, yeah, so I mean maybe my interest is higher than most.
[11:15] Keith: What volume can you can get can you put so give me a little more specific.
[11:25] Mike: Sure I think that? um ah it depends I Have to be honest that sometimes during a boring ah work meeting everybody works from home now I will simply be on mute and then start browsing porn. But let's just talk about the times when I do it during a masturbation session since I think that's where you're going here I believe that I.
[11:30] Keith: Are.
[11:37] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[11:43] Mike: Ah, look at between 100 to 200 pieces of content and I post on the order of 10 to 20 Sometimes it's only like five I mean I really am curating for our listeners delight and I think I'm quite good at it if I do say so myself like I'm not.
[11:50] Keith: Yeah, that's right, That's the service you're providing.
[11:59] Mike: Claiming to be a basketball star. But I do think or whatever but I do think I'm a decent porn curator.
[12:01] Keith: I think that the size of the subright it's over 10000 subscriptions or subscribers now. Yeah yeah, that implies something about your your your your taste. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
[12:08] Mike: It's up around there at this point and that's only in two weeks so we'll see where it goes. Yeah, of course I mean I have I have talked about it on the podcasts. Yeah, my hate I think my taste is good. It's solid I prefer amateur leaning stuff. Ah, lots of throbbing blowjobs meaning he's coming inner mouth with the throbbing you can see it I like swallowing not as much physical you know come you know? Yeah, yeah, it's just good stuff. Solid.
[12:27] Keith: Yeah.
[12:33] Keith: I have not I have not used your subreddit yet I should I should do. So although I wonder if it'll make me feel I Wonder if it'll make me feel weird after.
[12:39] Mike: Oh my God Well I still think you should make make your own probably.
[12:52] Keith: I Don't think so I don't think I would mind masturbating to something you had masturbated to it's it's I'm I'm sure we have unknowing but the the knowing changes it potentially.
[12:55] Mike: I Think you've done that. So yes, it's true I mean on some level you know there's this this idea that everybody on the planet is related to everybody else which of course is True. We're all Cousins. We're also all Eskimo Brothers in a certain way I think it's very likely that some large proportion of men like if you if you did like kind of a genetic or a what do you call that like the degrees of separation on Porn masturbation like that men are very close to tight community.
[13:27] Keith: Um, yeah I suspect that's right, Yeah, that is right? Um, speaking of masturbation. Ah, there's a pretty good.
[13:44] Keith: Post here today that I think I don't know indicates a bit about like where things might be going for young men and it was really popular in the sex subreddit this week in a nearly 2000 up vote. So I'm going to read it. This person says my boyfriend masturbates for hours every day blames me for him, not coming during sex hi so I don't know what to do here. My boyfriend who is twenty years old has told me multiple times that he edges slash masturbates for hours almost every day and often comes more than once he told me what gets him off and it's not necessarily common slash good things either. He's unemployed so he's at home every day while I'm at work because of this we mostly have sex either in the morning before work or on the weekends when we end up having sex in the morning. There's a good chance that he doesn't even come this happened again this morning and I wanted to know what was really happening. He told me that quote. He doesn't really know why he doesn't come, but it can't be his fault so it's probably mine I was heard over this comment of him blindly blaming me and giving no reason as to why? it's even my fault I wanted to figure out why he wasn't coming in the morning in what I can do to make him come I discovered that it's probably his chronic masturbation during the week
[14:47] Mike: What what? Why are you dating somebody who's unemployed at age 20 and just spends all day edging and then beating off I mean what? what is wrong with women go on though I mean what? with.
[15:00] Keith: Ah, yeah, that is sort of the elephant of the room here.
[15:03] Mike: Like isn't she violating sort of like their their their oath of office here I mean she's supposed to look for a guy who has some some some credibility some status that he's a ticket to attain and here she is yeah I mean there's some guy out there learning to you know code and C plus plus or something you know he's got his.
[15:10] Keith: Right? There's some nice guy out there like throwing his hands up in the air as he reads this. Right in the basement. Yeah, all right hold that I about duug I discovered that it's probably his chronic masturbation during the week I don't know how to go about this situation.
[15:21] Mike: Act together in this guy is just beaten off all day. Jesus yes, like yeah, really.
[15:33] Keith: As much as I want to blame his chronic masturbating for his inability to come I can't help but think that maybe it is my fault in some way. He just doesn't seem to even want to consider that he may be the reason that he can't come some additional information here we go. He's addicted to porn and has some sexual deviances getting off to his friends girlfriends having sex with girls and relationships.
[15:43] Mike: Oh.
[15:52] Keith: Attracted to underage high school girls masturbating to things he knows he shouldn't I E videos of my friends dancing leaked porn videos.
[15:56] Mike: Those are all normal by the way those none of those is deviant guys all want to do all I mean not all but you know effectively all want to do all those things but go on.
[16:05] Keith: Right? right? when I dropped him off at his parents' place this morning so I could go to work. He texted me minutes after I left he told me that he just came after I left so the problem can't be him I don't know why he needed to double doubt on blaming me for him. Not coming this morning. Ah.
[16:15] Mike: Um, Jesus.
[16:20] Mike: Oh so his argument was that his argument was that he couldn't come she left and then he could okay go on. Yeah.
[16:22] Keith: Case it matters. Yes, all right in case it matters I'm a 21 year old female and he's a 20 year old male and we've been together for 2.5 years. So is this what women have to look forward to is this the like dystopian future we're moving toward as porn gets better and better and more accessible.
[16:42] Mike: I don't think so I think that I think that you I think that this woman has found a particularly I can't think of the right word but sort of terrible guy I think that this is I mean there are a couple things. First of all, it is her fault. It is her vault because she should dump it. Okay, so it it actually is um.
[16:53] Keith: Um, loser Oh Wow Hot take okay fine. Yes, yes.
[17:00] Mike: Secondly I mean yeah, maybe he would get his act together if no woman would have sex with him or he would just go into some sort of weird singularity black hole of of you know, oninistic pleasure and it wouldn't then he's Fine. He's by himself beating off all day long, but the it is her fault but the thing the other thing that I find interesting here is assuming this is true. And actually I sort of directionally think it is it sounds credible. Um, this I think this goes to this thing that you've talked about several times where women once they've had sex with a guy will get really attached to him and it's really hard.
[17:34] Keith: Um, yes, how could he misbehave worse I mean right? he would have to like physically abuse her or something.
[17:36] Mike: Even in the face of objectively insane bullshit to to scrape her away from him. Yeah, oh sure. But even then and I don't want to Necessari necessarily get into that but sure even then women it's it can be difficult to but but but here we're just talking about right? We're just talking about.
[17:48] Keith: Right? Yeah, you hear stories about that.
[17:54] Mike: Ah, just clearly stuff that ah we'll he'll not be a good long term partner. Um and she yeah, she's miscatezing things as deiant that aren't but this notion I and but I but I have to say the pluck of this guy The pluck of this guy to have sex with her then she leaves and he's like by the way I just blew a huge nut.
[18:07] Keith: Um.
[18:13] Mike: Like first of all the notion that a girl actually cares about that I mean she cares, but only in the sense that she's worried about their relationship like she's not interested in his fucking semen. But so in that way like I have to I have to sort of like take my hat off to this guy like that's.
[18:15] Keith: Ah, right? if.
[18:28] Mike: In some ways I would love to be that young man where it's like oh I know what I know what the world needs is another text like this. Yeah.
[18:36] Keith: Um, yeah I I just I can't help but wonder if this is where the world is marching.
[18:42] Mike: What what makes you think that what? what's what's the you just think that like the the accessibility artificial intelligence is just going to make this kind of pleasure situation common.
[18:51] Keith: Yeah I think we have like Moore's law of porn here where it gets like twice as good every five years or something like it. no no I don't that I don't know what the rate is but it is always up and to the right and we can argue about whether it's linear or or.
[18:57] Mike: Do you think that porn has gotten twice as good in the last five years no
[19:07] Mike: Ah, agreed Yeah, there's a general problem because the thing that men want is easier for machines to replace than the thing women want I think although I have had arguments with women before where they then say no no the thing that women want can be replaced to you know your companionship you could have a.
[19:09] Keith: Or whatnot. But ah.
[19:25] Mike: Artificial intelligence assistant that can talk to you and listen to you and whatever. So.
[19:27] Keith: Have you read about I think there was a reporter who broke up with her boyfriend because she fell in love with chat Jp t.
[19:36] Mike: Well, that's just retarded but I've not read about that I will say that I will admit to the listeners. Both Keith and I are now paying I think customers of Openai Keith at the baseball game yesterday informed me that paying $20 a month a pittance a mirror pittance. It really is a pittance because I save.
[19:43] Keith: Um, we are yep.
[19:55] Mike: Ah, meaningful amount of ah time every day using it. But the key is it gives you access to the latest model. So we're not paid shills or anything but I do if you have a job like a knowledge worker job where you think it could save you say 30 minutes a day I think it's worth it. It's very clearly worth it.
[19:56] Keith: Um, it's a powerful tool. Yeah.
[20:09] Keith: Yeah I would go I mean it's only a matter of time before these things are going to be able to service up customized porn.
[20:11] Mike: If you're unemployed by masturbating in his basement. Maybe not.
[20:19] Mike: Oh absolutely I mean I think audio is first and then video and it's true that it will get but I still don't think I think there's a sorting function at work here. There are certain people that will be taken in by this and there are certain people that will still want real experiences now what the ratios are I mean for example.
[20:25] Keith: Um, yeah.
[20:38] Mike: I've complained to you before about the lovely young ladies I like that but taking Instagram photos in all the tourist sites like I was in Hawaii a couple years ago in front of a beautiful waterfall and there was this woman just sort of with another woman with a tripod and then you said to me ah that hits worse than that mike.
[20:45] Keith: Um, yeah.
[20:56] Mike: The only reason they're even there is to post it to Instagram like they wouldn't go. They don't care about being at this beautiful waterfall. They don't care about visiting Tokyo or whatever they just want to post that photo.
[20:58] Keith: Yeah.
[21:06] Keith: If you took their if you took their phone away from them. They wouldn't want to go they? Um, um you they is a little bit all inclusive here many many wouldn't.
[21:09] Mike: Right? And and if that's true and I think it is I've I've thought about that. Yeah, it's some percentage. Yeah and those are people who I think would be trapped in this kind of like technological singularity. You're talking about where if they could sit in a booth.
[21:25] Keith: Um, yeah.
[21:26] Mike: And listeners I know some listeners probably feel this way they're sitting in a booth maybe listening to us be in and be entertained all day have some machine masturbate them and watch the perfect porn etc basically live in the matrix they would do do it but there is a percentage of people that would still refuse I think.
[21:43] Keith: Yeah, but I think it would be over dwindling and maybe but and if there is some asymmetry and how quickly it dwindles for men and women. It's at least one side is going to have this big imbalance.
[21:46] Mike: I Don't know I suspect there's a floor but sure.
[22:00] Mike: It's I think it's almost certain that men will be more attracted to that than women because women have a much more natural impulse toward toward the real world through procreation. Yeah I mean a baby You can't have a virtual I guess you could have a virtual baby but I don't think it would ah scratch the same itch.
[22:07] Keith: This is That's my intuition as well.
[22:18] Keith: Um, yeah.
[22:18] Mike: Ah, so I mean although could you imagine like you have this virtual thing and then it's sucking on your nipple and extracting milk and then pooping it out etc I mean it's not impossible I would actually you know they have those virtual pet toys but none of them none of them latch on and get you to lactate.
[22:35] Keith: I wonder yeah, that's not coming anytime soon. They can't even get the the Sony dog right.
[22:35] Mike: But a great product. There is a porn. There is a porn series that I like but it's not I don't like it to masturbate to it's this dude it's adult breastfeeding have you seen this and is okay.
[22:51] Keith: Um, now I'm aware of it.
[22:54] Mike: Okay, this dude he's kind of an unattractive Asian man. It's not my and I don't know what look of man it would need to be okay I do know it would need to be a woman. Ah but he's he he latches on and he he he breast feeds from his ah girlfriend. Whatever while she beats him off and the idea of that I find compelling.
[23:10] Keith: Um, ah.
[23:13] Mike: Yeah, but he I don't want to see a man doing that if it was a woman. Oh maybe a transsexual if it was a transsexual woman and then she no because then I was going to say then she could be beating her off I'm not sure.
[23:17] Keith: Right.
[23:28] Keith: I've seen I've seen some breastfeeding porn I think I even sent you a clip once we might have even done it on the show I don't remember I think we did do it on the show. But yeah, it was like a a young woman and she was in like ah a bar's bathroom.
[23:33] Mike: Maybe.
[23:45] Keith: And she was I think yeah she she was lactating and then she pulled her bra down and she had her girlfriend like yeah suck on her nipples to taste the milk and yeah, they was but the founded intriguing.
[23:45] Mike: That's weird.
[23:57] Mike: Yeah, yeah I rather have it be part of like a sexual event part One of the decathlon of activities.
[24:03] Keith: Sure sure I was just surprised and I think the reason why I shared it at the time was that I found that intriguing and that wouldn't have been my intuition but it was.
[24:10] Mike: Sure anything involving breasts and nipples is often intriguing and clitz.
[24:16] Keith: Right? All right? Let's move on this person says I get a slight boner when I take care of my girlfriend. It's not sexual though I don't know what the deal is. It's like a love boner like I'm not aroused but my dick gets a little stiff. For example, she was hung over and I got her a blanket and a pillow in her fluffy Teddy and made her some tea and noticed when I sat down that I was a little hard down there I was not sexually aroused I just felt caring. Anyone else gets this and then a few people say my husband gets affection erections too. Apparently that's what they're called.
[24:39] Mike: Yeah.
[24:50] Keith: And he's thinking of taking taking care of me. It seems to arouse our little friend. Ouch little friend such a sweet man you sound like a keeper. Um, another person says it's called a heart on. Yeah and this is.
[25:01] Mike: Yeah.
[25:08] Keith: The princess if this is not a normal thing then I might have a real problem because it happens to me literally on the daily at home with my wife washing their back in the shower boner cuddling on the couch watching cartoons boner making a delicious risotto and seeing them enjoying it boner. Okay, one of those things is not like the other 2
[25:20] Mike: Did that person use the pronoun they for his wife. Okay, you you you transed it out. Okay, yeah, he did here So that's interesting. Oh.
[25:27] Keith: No I he said washing their back in the shower. Yeah I guess they did and yeah, they do say partner now he says at home with my wife Anyway, who cares about the pronouns. Um.
[25:38] Mike: I mean yeah I do a little.
[25:43] Keith: When you're trying to get a mental picture here I am not sure I have had a so-called Affection erection does that make me a bad person.
[25:45] Mike: Yes, but.
[25:54] Mike: I think that it ah I think if I was going to cite Pop Psychoanalyze this situation I would analyze it as follows. Ah that it's relatively unusual for you to want sex and not.
[26:04] Keith: E.
[26:07] Mike: Have access to it in a partnered situation meaning not an early dating situation and my experience of when this happens I have definitely had this happen is it's that Ah, there's some. There's some like number of times per month or something that would like is you know, kind of what.
[26:09] Keith: Okay, yeah.
[26:27] Mike: Your brain is set to different men are set to different levels probably most men. It's like I don't know between 5 and ten I'm just totally guessing here now. 1 times you want would would ideally like to have sex or ejaculate with a partner. Ah, of course masturbation separate and I think they are pretty separate like a guy's.
[26:34] Keith: Okay, this is times you're intrigued intrigued. Ah you but that's what I mean that's what I yes.
[26:46] Mike: Once that could be some percentage of his activity too. Um, and so if you're kind of below that number or around that number. Ah then this can happen and it's simply that you know. That when you do things nice for your partner. That's often what leads to sex and so it's just like an obvious pattern match. Yes, It's simple.
[27:02] Keith: Yeah, that's what I figured was going on here is that the intimacy is highly correlated with with sex and so your brain is ahead of you.
[27:14] Mike: Right now. Unsurprisingly for those? Yeah unsurprisingly for those who listen to this show I Actually don't like this phenomenon and so my solution is to avoid wherever possible doing nice things for my partner because I don't want I don't like the mixing of the paint brushes here like I want. Yeah, so I I Just don't want this to happen. So It's I have to ejaculate a lot and never do nice things and that sort of protects me from this and then if I'm going to have sex. It's just all sex and I'm not ah I'm not going to do something nice to get into a sexual mood I'm just going to pull out my cock. Yeah I Think that's what women want.
[27:40] Keith: Good good right? I'm glad you've erected defenses around all intimacy.
[27:52] Mike: It's it a little bit.
[27:55] Keith: Ah, do you want to say more about you think this is what women want.
[28:00] Mike: I was kidding I know that I know that's not what women want but ah well I mean I think that it's just ah, it's just a very masculine trait I have like it's just I'm just being myself I think people are supposed to compromise more but then what happens is if I compromise more than people say you're not being yourself. So I just decided I'll just be myself. Yeah.
[28:18] Keith: Um, that's what a psychologist would tell you to do right? be yourself, be your true self.
[28:23] Mike: Probably yeah, that's right I mean you you I'm Okay, you're okay and it's like well okay if I'm okay, well here's what I am I don't like intimacy I want you to leave the room immediately after our orgasm etc etc like that's me so it is what I want.
[28:32] Keith: Right? I mean it's It's tricky. There's some people like hannibal lechter who probably shouldn't be their true selves.
[28:42] Mike: Okay, well I just know what I like and I know what I want and it's not. It's not always everybody's cup of tea where anybody's.
[28:47] Keith: Right? All right? Are you ready for the number 1 most upvoted topic on the sex subred it this week beyond humiliated what to do.
[28:56] Mike: You know it's hear it sho a little sound effect. Okay.
[29:04] Keith: Hanging out with some friends and a girl I have a lot of chemistry with we've made out before but nothing else couple times throughout the evening. We're being really flirty and kiss a bit now we all put on a movie and most people pass out slash fall asleep when the girl guides my hand under her skirt and shows me how wet she is wait a blanket over us.
[29:18] Mike: Oh and.
[29:22] Keith: I start rubbing her clit slowly for the next thirty minutes when she gets more and more flustered and I can feel her legs tensing against my hand. It's the hottest experience of my life and I'm savoring every second she hasn't even touched me yet and she slides her hand under my waistband and I just a rot out of anticipation. She basically grabs it as the third pulse of come shoots out.
[29:29] Mike: Um, yeah.
[29:40] Keith: And so confused by what's happened her hand is covered and come and she just removes it has to go to the bathroom to wash up and no idea what to say and we kind of just finish the movie and I go home I've completely blown my chances with this girl. Nice ah double and Tra there but is there anything I can do to salvage something.
[29:56] Mike: He could have in the moment I mean he might have blown it now he could have said and I quote he could have said there's more where that came from but go ahead.
[30:01] Keith: Um, I'm not I think being go ahead.
[30:06] Keith: Right? Yeah I think being meek and embarrassed about it is the wrong move The right move is is just something like yeah, the let's finish what I started or something right.
[30:10] Mike: Out Totally wrong.
[30:16] Mike: Yeah, just be like you're so this is so hot like you just yeah, but just be like look like that's there's more where that came from I can I'm still rare ready to go now.
[30:26] Keith: Okay, so I started thinking about this I did so we just agree there is there a situation where a woman would be materially disappointed by a man coming too quickly I feel like there's a paradox here.
[30:41] Mike: Well I mean this is close. This is close right? because if he if in in this case, it could have actually um gotten on the floor or on the couch something something. Okay, yeah, okay so let's so that the ground rules here are.
[30:48] Keith: Okay, fine and setting aside embarrassment or whatever or or getting caught or something.
[30:59] Mike: You're actually in a private situation and the guy. Okay, so yes, the answer is yes if it's a regular problem moral. It becomes a problem meaning you're now you're now having sex for the twentieth time and the guy obviously has premature ejaculation. You definitely see women that complain about that.
[31:00] Keith: Um, yes.
[31:08] Keith: Um, right? Ok ok, but I mean ok is there ever a situation.
[31:15] Mike: But the first time. No, it's a yeah.
[31:23] Mike: Um, I mean I almost ejaculated listening to this story.
[31:25] Keith: Is there ever a situation. Yeah, that middle paragraph was good although I know I don't think you're going to like this but I was using a lot of editorial privilege on the grammar so you were really aroused by my own fictional writing.
[31:27] Mike: The part about the the wetness and the finger and then she's squirming for 30 minutes I was like god damn that's that's good. Wow.
[31:43] Mike: Yeah I Yeah you're right I don't like that that that's yeah.
[31:44] Keith: Sorry Mike um, okay, but like in almost is there any situation where a man would be disappointed that a woman orgasm too quickly.
[31:58] Mike: Yes, in the situation where and this is rare but where she is kind of a one and done type of person and so then her availability yo was ah like a race who could get there first. Only one of you only 1
[32:02] Keith: Yeah I was going to bring up my my my my infamous ex that had that problem right.
[32:14] Mike: Can survive in the end there can only be 1 the highlander.
[32:14] Keith: Right? But most women most women are still interested in having sex after they've orgasmed maybe less. So maybe they're pretending but the but the you know, many ok all right? So yeah, if they're not one of these race condition people is there a circumstance where.
[32:20] Mike: Vast the vast majority. No no, they are.
[32:34] Keith: A man would be disappointed I couldn't think of 1 um, ok fine. But yeah, yeah.
[32:37] Mike: I Don't think so I think I think he might be he might not believe that it was real. Um, but yeah, assuming he believed. It was real I mean it doesn't actually materially impact what's going on and frankly it doesn't impact much the other direction either. It's just a mistake. He made a mistake by being embarrassed and thinking he'd done something wrong and frankly even now that he acted embarrassed I Still think that he can get in there. Hes to own it. Yeah, just we look look sometimes I spray semen everywhere like whatever man like that's when when I'm next to a hot.
[33:01] Keith: Oh I do too. He just needs to be. He just needs to own it and and yeah, right.
[33:13] Mike: Like I like or or here's even better be like look that's never happened to me before like we should explore this like I don't know where I went that was crazy and she'll be like Wow I'm so special even if he does it all the time who cares.
[33:17] Keith: Right? I right? But yeah I think he's there's plenty of ways he can he can wriggle off the hook here. But yes, but okay, are you agreeing with me that that basically every situation where a man comes too quickly. It's fine.
[33:36] Mike: Okay I can I can give you another 1
[33:37] Keith: As long as he's as long as he uses it I mean I hear your your example of okay, look if you're never able to have meaningful sex with someone because because you you come too quickly. That's bad. Okay, what's what's your other one.
[33:45] Mike: I Have another one I have another one. Yeah, let's let's let's say so you have you're on date. You know eight with a woman and you've gone to her where she lives and you have her in the missionary position and you're you're you're pushing in and out of her.
[33:55] Keith: Um, ah.
[34:02] Keith: Yes.
[34:05] Mike: And you have because you're so excited in this one occasion you have poor orgasm control but um, for whatever reason you're not using a condom and you're not sure if she's on birth control and you ejaculate in her vagina that would be a situation where she might be disappointed.
[34:14] Keith: Um.
[34:21] Keith: Okay, safety issues safety and pregnancy issues. Okay, yeah I feel like these are just exceptions that prove the rule that premature ejaculation is generally something you can use in your favor.
[34:21] Mike: That you have potentially impregnated her. Yes.
[34:36] Mike: Um, a woman should but a woman should be concerned about premature ejaculation from a safety perspective Generally I mean he might not get the condom on he might blow that load too early. He might blow or he's not supposed to I mean.
[34:38] Keith: Or at least that won't be a huge negative in the way that most men think that it is.
[34:48] Keith: Um, yeah, you're right.
[34:53] Keith: Yeah, right I mean you want your your partner to have good orgasm control Although not as good as that guy in the topic earlier where he can never come.
[34:54] Mike: It all gets very complicated I mean this this girl who had the sticky fingers I mean what if she put the finger in the wrong place.
[35:10] Mike: You mean the guy with the video games in his basement or the porn. Yeah, there's some. There's a happy minute medium there where a guy can get some self-control learn how his body functions but not ah, be rubbing himself raw.
[35:11] Keith: Right? yes.
[35:19] Keith: Right? right? Okay, we all agree here. Um, let's see here where should I go next? Let's do this anal orgasm thing I think we've talked about Anal Orgasms for but it's been a while. So I just want to.
[35:33] Mike: Ah.
[35:37] Keith: See if your intuition is the same as mine all right? This person says can someone explain female anal only orgasms I was doing anal with my girlfriend and usually she rubs her clit during anal to come. Okay, so that makes sense but yesterday she had a huge orgasm just from me fucking harass how does this happen question Mark question mark.
[35:41] Mike: Yeah.
[35:47] Mike: Yes.
[35:56] Keith: Question Mark question mark.
[35:57] Mike: I was watching an anal porn like two days ago and what I found what I found remarkable I think there was a relative lack of lubrication in this particular porn. It was in the doggie style position. What I found remarkable was the amount. The.
[36:04] Keith: Yep.
[36:13] Keith: Um, yeah.
[36:17] Mike: Stt to which while he when he thrust it in and out her vulva would really open and close. It was really remarkable. It was it was beyond something I would masturbate to I was just marveling at it like this is ah is very. It's affecting our whole area there and so I could absolutely see it just like PIV might tugging on the various folds there people will say it's also potentially.
[36:20] Keith: Um, yeah.
[36:30] Keith: Oh k yes, that is the number one response on Reddit with 1300 up votes I can find annals I I find annal can simulate my cheesepot indirectly which if I'm super horny will make.
[36:36] Mike: Internal G spot simulation. That's certainly possible as well. Yeah.
[36:48] Mike: Yeah I mean that's possible I Also think you could get some additional submissive direct anal pledge. Although I very much doubt you would come from that. What do you? What do you did? Do you get orgasms when we when you're pegged.
[36:48] Keith: Come.
[37:04] Keith: Ah, still have been thanked. It's still our number 1 listenor favorite request. Um, what? what? Um okay I haven't had much anal sex. What is the distance from.
[37:04] Mike: No, my bad my but yeah.
[37:16] Mike: Are.
[37:20] Keith: Enus to G spot.
[37:21] Mike: You mean, wrecked him I assume like internally yeah.
[37:24] Keith: Yeah, my some of our listeners have complained about my anatomy and your remarkable knowledge of anatomy is anus not the whole.
[37:33] Mike: No well you got to have it is but the rectum is sort of the sleeve inside the hole. So I mean I assume you mean that you're thinking in terms of Vagina is analogous to anus sorry rectum in the way Vulva is analogous to anus. Okay.
[37:49] Keith: No no I'm wondering how long of a penis you need to reach the G spot from behind an anal I would not be surprised. Can you? ah.
[37:55] Mike: I think that's a misunderstanding of the anatomy kind of a bad misunderstanding. It would definitely be more of a girth question because you're trying to sort of fill up the area in general a depth would not matter very much. It would be a. We would be what's happening in the first say 2 to three inches
[38:12] Keith: Um, oh okay.
[38:13] Mike: And then maybe angle of penetration. Um I would say this the wall of tissue between the Rectum and the vaginas very thin and so it's perfectly plausible. Yeah.
[38:19] Keith: I know I know but you have to get from the anus from the that's what the anal hole is called the anus right? Okay, we have to get from the anus to the to the.
[38:30] Mike: Ah, yes.
[38:36] Mike: Well I mean obviously there's no way to get from the anus to the Gs problem. Yeah, right? Yeah so I think the biggest problem. Yeah I think the biggest problem would be that.
[38:36] Keith: To the G spot. No I know there's going to be the sheath of the of the anal wall the Rectum and then the vaginal wall and then and then the vaginal cavity which is which could be compressed. But yeah.
[38:52] Mike: Ah, let's say that a woman is in the dogggy style position you you insert and let's say you're pretty githy, not quite a can of soup but say between Keith and a can of soup so somewhat gurthy and ah.
[38:53] Keith: Are.
[39:05] Keith: It's not much not much between there.
[39:08] Mike: Very fair fair. So anyway, so then the issue is going to be well does the extra Girth go down toward the vagina or up toward the tailbone or both it's going to go both but but but but the key thing is what you want to do is create like compressive pressure against the G spot.
[39:20] Keith: Aha.
[39:27] Mike: Which is going to be relatively more difficult because there's so much room in the upward meaning toward her tailbone direction for your girth too And so I generally think this might be difficult without some sort of additional toy or something in her vagina. Ah, however, if you angle in such a way that your penis is sort of angling toward her belly button.
[39:33] Keith: Um, yeah.
[39:47] Mike: Thrusting I could see it kind of rubbing in such a way that it the head of the penis kind of causes all the tissues to rub together in the area of her G spot. Yes, but then it's not a matter of distance I Mean honestly when everything sort of collapsed down I mean it's probably like a few millimeters or.
[39:55] Keith: Um, yeah I think that's what I'm imagining.
[40:00] Keith: Yeah. Yeah, like how much could I compress how close could I get my anus to where my penis comes out of my pelvis if everything was compressed. Probably yeah, we're probably talking a couple inches at most.
[40:05] Mike: Couple centimeters. Not much distance distance. Yeah.
[40:20] Mike: I Mean yeah, here's what I can say about that if you put a finger in the anus and in the in the in the fall though you know in the in the recim and the vagina and then you sort of push your fingers together to see like how much distance is there between them does that make sense. You're you're you're making like you're kind of making the yeah bullseye.
[40:26] Keith: Aha.
[40:34] Keith: Um, ah.
[40:38] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[40:39] Mike: With your fingers your but your thumb and your your pointer finger together and then you say well how far is the tip of my thumb from the tip of my point of finger I fortunately for our listeners have done this in my life I would say the distance is on the order of 2 or 3 quarters like us quarters not far. Yeah.
[40:53] Keith: Yeah, yeah, that seems right right? right? Yeah right? The tissues can only compress so much right? right.
[40:58] Mike: Could be less if you really push if you really push you could you know, kind of tear it. But you know it's not far. It's it's they're They're basically adjacent. Yeah well without damage. Yeah, that yeah that comes up when you have a larger penis this issue of damage I've found.
[41:15] Keith: Um, okay, so do you believe this woman had a anal only orgasm.
[41:17] Mike: I Think it's possible. Sure I mean the thing that makes it more credible to me is the mention of klit stimulation usually right anytime the thing that I find less credible is when men labor under the belief that the illusion I should say that women are just having orgasms constantly without anything touching their clit. That virtually doesn't exist. Um it most of the time for all women most of the time and for most women all of the time klit stimulation is needed for some women some of the time it isn't That's actually a good quip.
[41:37] Keith: Um, prime.
[41:47] Keith: Right? It's the same for men I mean some men can orgasm without penis stimulation. But it's rare. It's probably more rare for men. Yeah.
[41:56] Mike: I Mean that is exceedingly rare. Are you counting the guy that I saw that had some weird Electron up his ass and then like I mean I've seen that but not a whole.
[42:05] Keith: Yeah, well and we've seen weird stuff about people trying to to dent deny themselves pleasure like they go to great lengths to remove every erogenous zone including like cutting off their nipples and so forth all right? I'm going to move on this is getting gross. My orgasm feels like a chore in my relationship because it takes me too long I 22 year old female take a long time to orgasm and I understand that my boyfriend 24 year old male does not want to focus on my orgasm every single time we have sex and yet just keep this in mind as I read here I want to discuss the dynamic of what's a reasonable expectation but but.
[42:24] Mike: Got to be a woman. Yep.
[42:40] Keith: For these 2 people especially because he can come very quickly. We spend the majority of the session focused on me if I went to orgasm as well. It just occurred to me focusing on orgasm timing a lot this episode. Oh well, that's the theme. So I definitely don't need to orgasm every time we have sex.
[42:41] Mike: Um, yeah.
[42:56] Keith: But I feel like he is also somewhat lazy or selfish sometimes especially because I'm already in my head about taking too long. This does not help So okay, there's a bit of a push and pull here. She's worried about taking too long. She's also annoyed that he thinks that she might be taking too long to orgasm.
[43:11] Mike: Right.
[43:14] Keith: Need either direct clit stimulation him going down on me or a vibrator during sex if he does go down on me. It usually takes about 15 minutes for me to orgasm or longer up to 30 minutes
[43:22] Mike: I like that she's to I hope I do hope she's timing it I don't think she is but I love the idea of a woman timing this men for sure time stuff like this. Yeah.
[43:29] Keith: Yes, I yeah I often will glance at my watch. In fact, sometimes I take my watch off because I spend too much time like looking at various timings you don't want the heart rate to I don't know why.
[43:39] Mike: You know why I take it off right? It's because I'm convinced that it gives me steps and we've yeah I'm convinced that each stroke is a step and I don't want some fake as steps in my watch.
[43:48] Keith: Oh.
[43:55] Keith: It um doesn't so I wear my watch on my right hand and I masturbate with my left hand and it doesn't count if I if I do that. But if I wear if I switch it to my left hand. It definitely counts I am not sure I'm not sure what it thinks about pelvic thrusts anyway.
[43:58] Mike: I switch it up. Yeah.
[44:05] Mike: Yeah, that's the issue.
[44:10] Mike: Me either.
[44:11] Keith: Let's continue. Ah, but if we use a vibrator during P I v It only takes a few minutes I need to focus on the sensation. So I get more starfishy during this time but before or after I can get back to focus on him and our sex is a shared experience so you can feel her sort of insecurity about what she needs to do.
[44:29] Mike: Yeah.
[44:30] Keith: To come last time we had sex I also used the vibrator and he finished before I was done and did not use his fingers inside me to continue the moment. Well we've gone over that plenty he said he only wanted a quick thing and doesn't want sex to always be this big deal. So here we're getting to the nut of the matter.
[44:42] Mike: Ah.
[44:48] Keith: Wasn't that horny and if it required much effort. He would rather not have sex in retrospect and not be unfair to me and also please me which I somewhat understand but with a vibrator it really doesn't take long I think anyways this makes me even more in my head since I don't want my orgasm to feel like a chore to him. Do you handle an unequal amount of needed stimulation to orgasm in your relationship. So This this topic is a little confusing because she does state times and we can discuss what we think reasonable times are for a woman to expect a man to focus on her pleasure. And maybe that's a good place to start. But.
[45:25] Mike: There's data on that too I mean she her just say this the times that she's referencing are well within what's normal with the exception of yes with the exception of ah it is true that women often report being able to reach orgasm around as fast as a men.
[45:32] Keith: Reasonable bounds.
[45:43] Mike: Man if by themelf and if like they're in the mood and specifically just trying to get off as fast as possible like women often can do 3 to 5 minutes in that situation. But that's not with a partner. It takes longer with a partner actually unless you're this guy with the girl with the panties that are wet and all that way that's different I mean that that I mean that.
[45:53] Keith: Well yeah, they're probably right? Well the man probably isn't as talented at you know, applying pressure in the right ways as she is herself.
[46:01] Mike: And forget about that. Yeah.
[46:11] Mike: There's all kinds of stuff I mean like you you can I mean for me like if I'm watching curated Amateur porn my subreddit it really helps I mean I have to exactly I know what stimulation you apply.
[46:17] Keith: Yeah, but I don't think I don't think the reverse is true here I think if you put a new naked woman attractive naked woman in front of me and then you used a cloning machine or a molecular reproduction museum machine and then in another room, you just put me. With like the best porn in the world and the two mes had to race to see who could come first I think the the one with the naked woman would come first every time.
[46:46] Mike: You're assuming that and I think this is fair fair enough I think you're assuming that there's no expectation of any kind of like relationship building with this woman. It's just literally or actually she's lubed up ready to go and you just get to jump on her and fuck her. She's a sex doll.
[46:51] Keith: Right? right? yeah.
[47:01] Keith: Um, yeah I'm using her as a flashlight. Yes, a sex doll. Yeah.
[47:02] Mike: Yeah, that's not that's not it and actually hang on a second. What if she were a prostitute that would matter to me I think it would slow it down I'm not just and you I know you're thinking it slows it down because I want to get my money's worth and I do but it's not just that.
[47:07] Keith: No, because that yeah.
[47:19] Keith: Head is it where I was going but that's funny. That's where you went and and awfully predictable honestly.
[47:21] Mike: It would be because yeah well I mean a lot of guys. Actually you know you pay prostitutes by the half hour hour or hour.
[47:31] Keith: Ah.
[47:31] Mike: And a lot of guys go for what's called like multiple shots on goal and the way they handle that is they try to not as fast as possible at the beginning of the session and then they relax for a while and like talk and then they fuck again. It's really common Actually so this is a real world situation.
[47:43] Keith: That's amazing I can imagine yeah like a countdown timer and you're just like praying for your body to refract.
[47:48] Mike: Yeah, that's right, yeah, if you have an hour then you just you get this first 10 minutes and then say the last 30 minutes or 40 minute 20 minutes you try to fuck again. Yeah, okay, but but but so here. Okay so I agree with you that the human flashlight it's likely you could do better I think yeah.
[47:51] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[48:05] Keith: Is there an analogy for a woman like it could there be a situation set up with a man that would would be just so for them that they could master or they could orgasm more quickly than if they're using a vibrator on themselves.
[48:06] Mike: I Think that's right.
[48:19] Mike: It's possible. But unlikely I think that it could be a hyper attractive man. It could be a man. They have a strong emotional connection with although that makes it more complicated I think that it's pretty commonly viewed that a vibrator a certain kind of vibrator. Like just gets them off faster and it's hard for a man a partnered experience to equal that. Regardless though, the times this woman is quoting are well within the bounds of the times I would expect both from personal experience and from extensive literature research done for this show and for my.
[48:49] Keith: Um, ah.
[48:52] Mike: Unusual life. Ah, and the um this guy. Ah so I mean there's a bunch of red flags or at least Yellow flags here. The biggest one for me is when she's worrying about making about um. You know, not paying attention enough to him during the sex. Let me be clear about this sex is about the woman like they are the set of attention like sex is happening in the woman and there's like that's not only physically True. It's also like that's simply what's going on and if the guy is like hey.
[49:19] Keith: Um, yeah.
[49:27] Mike: I Want the sex to be happening in me or like pay attention to me that suggests that he's either not that into you or you're not that attractive or something like that like the guy real I mean yeah, the the healthy situation is that the woman does not have to do as much as the man not to say that she just lies there and does nothing but it's to say that like.
[49:35] Keith: Um, yeah.
[49:45] Keith: Yeah, but if she's.
[49:47] Mike: Ah, a 1 1 level of action moved by her is like multiplyed by 10 anything she does is multiplyed by like 10 compared to what anything the guy does.
[49:50] Keith: Right? Well and especially if she is building toward orgasm I don't think most reasonable men are going to be like oh you're you're focusing too much on the final 45 seconds before you act orgasm please don't please don't starfish.
[49:56] Mike: Yeah, that's well, that's.
[50:06] Mike: Well I think a similar ah a similar piece of math applies that a female orgasm during sex is worth maybe 10 times as much as a male orgasm. It's incredibly high end thing that happened. Um.
[50:18] Keith: Um, yeah.
[50:20] Mike: For in some situations. It's quite rare some situations not but still like the man has has low value men need to accept that and this just suggests some sort of dysfunction in their situation I mean she now. Yeah, so she's worrying about it. She's self-conscious and then that makes me think well can't she not find another partner. Well maybe maybe it's just that she's attached to him. Emotionally.
[50:26] Keith: Right.
[50:38] Keith: Yeah.
[50:40] Mike: And he's now starting to sort of abuse her which good for him I mean you know guys got to do what they got to do.
[50:43] Keith: Sure. That's right, all right? So What is a reasonable amount of time. Let's say let's say just for the sake of keeping this clean for a philosophical discussion. Let's say a woman can only orgasm.
[50:57] Mike: Now.
[51:06] Keith: Can only have a partnered orgasm if he goes down on her and what amount of time. Do You think she could Read. Let's let's say you know this is a long term partner. You have sex twice a week say what amount of time should she expect him to be willing. To put in this this. Yeah, this is the only way she can orgasm Yeah, no, no.
[51:27] Mike: And there's no vibrator. He's down there with his tongue. She's got her legs spread on her back. He's kind of on okay, the normal. Okay just making sure I understand like he's not an uncomfortable stress position. He's not being waterboarded etc. Um I think that ah I think that the typical. Period of time would be on the order of 10 to 15 minutes and unreasonable would start to happen around 20 minutes 15 fteen's already kind of long 20 would be starting to be unreasonable I think that in most cases. Ah a woman is not going to have an orgasm.
[51:45] Keith: Yes I agree.
[52:02] Mike: If you get to that kind of a timeframe and if she is then a vibrator should be introduced because then you're at the point where there's something or maybe a technique shift should occur like the Kivin technique. Yeah.
[52:12] Keith: Gosh I agree with everything said here. Yeah like at some point 20 minutes feels about right? I think it both becomes an unreasonable expectation for him to continue and it becomes sort of likely that she's she. There's some. Sweet spot of amount of time where they're likely to orgasm and at some point the probability that they're going to orgasm starts going down. Let's go.
[52:36] Mike: Right? Let me let me ask you a couple like ah permutations though. How would that change for you if um, number 1 Ah, there is an expectation that you shift from purely oral activity to her 2 fingers which is a little more.
[52:51] Keith: Um, yeah.
[52:52] Mike: Stressful. You have to kind of orient your body so you're simultaneously sort of giving your some internal stimulation and number two if there was the requirement of some kind of anal stimulation. How long would you be willing to keep that up if at all or sorry you might say not, you're not at all. So so let's say that if somebody was willing to do you think that should change like to she she wants her butthole licked or.
[53:09] Keith: Well, some kind of anal stimulation has large ambiguity. Yeah I mean I don't mind putting some I don't mind putting some pressure on someone's asshole I Might you know I've I've I've inserted fingers in the past.
[53:11] Mike: Put something in it or whatever. Okay, let's just say like rubbing it first because I Think. Okay.
[53:29] Keith: But yeah, like I'm yeah I'm not I'm not going with my tongue down there.
[53:29] Mike: Okay, well let's start with the fingers like does are you willing to spend 20 minutes vigorously or semi vigorously inserting and removing fingers or you know rubbing the g spot with your fingers at the same time as licking or does that shorten it there we go.
[53:43] Keith: I'm not sure if I could I'm not sure if I could for 20 minutes I told you I dated this person that compelled me to buy these grip. You know mountain climber grip strengthen earth because she she needed she needed both vigorous and.
[53:53] Mike: Yeah.
[54:01] Keith: Ah, lengthy, long long time period sustained ah fingering and so digital stimulation. Okay, yeah, all right? So all right? So that's let's do another one here all right? So you.
[54:03] Mike: Sustained. Yeah yeah.
[54:07] Mike: Sort of irritating. It feels like it feels like that's a product of white claw which of course is the female version of death Grip I mean she I Just don't think women naturally are likely to require that strength of stimulation but go on.
[54:24] Keith: Yeah, she was a squirter too. This may have been related. Yeah.
[54:29] Mike: Yeah, those are correlated because you're you're you're youre you're going to knock out her sort of urethral control muscles by rubbing firmly in that area. That's I mean that's same thing that having a baby can do yeah.
[54:38] Keith: Right? Yeah, Okay, okay, a final circumstance here. You have already come and as she describes here and she wants you to digitally penetrate herself.
[54:48] Mike: Oh no.
[54:56] Keith: By the way you didn't use a condom and you came inside of her. No, it's just digital how long how long is a reasonable amount of ah commitment ah for her to expect.
[54:57] Mike: Do I have to lick I mean.
[55:08] Mike: When this situation arises I do I have I do encounter this situation from time to time and I typically sort of try to negotiate over to breast stimulation because because of a desire to avoid this particular type of contact. However.
[55:17] Keith: Yeah.
[55:26] Mike: I am aware So here's here's and this is this also applies to your the question about how long you would be willing to finger So setting aside your your friend who the the the squirting mountain climber. Whatever she did you see as a mountain climber is that what you said you just required it was that sorry whatever.
[55:38] Keith: Um, no I needed to buy Mountain Climber Grip strengtheners to yeah.
[55:44] Mike: Right? So Alex Alexa Honold we'll call her um the setting that aside ah I've found the fingering to okay so I've found the following sequence to be typical. You're doing an activity that would result in orgasm it could be a vibrator. It could be a tong could be a finger.
[56:02] Keith: Yes.
[56:03] Mike: On the clit then you get to a point where it's clear that one is intimate imminent within the next say 3 minutes you then as the partners down there have this choice of whether to enhance the experience with internal fingering or not to for whatever reason.
[56:11] Keith: Um.
[56:22] Mike: Um, and there's sort of a judgment call there which I'm not sure exactly how I make that judgment call so be given that fact pattern it's important to your question because I think that in the typical scenario because I would know it was the final say one hundred and eighty seconds I would generally be willing to provide that stimulation because I know. It say increases the organism intensity from like a 6 to an 8 and it just is kind of a dick thing not to do it now. That being said I do sometimes not provide that stimulation and it's sort of similar to the choice you might make to use your fingers instead of your tongue I think it's just lazyness or just I don't know doing things differently 1 time. Yeah.
[56:41] Keith: Okay.
[56:55] Keith: Yeah.
[56:59] Mike: But in terms of doing it. Ah for like 15 minutes with my fingers when I've come in there I mean I just that's not a situation I've encountered as much as I think you have the 15 minute that the marathon of fingering the whole thing I think would I just think we've become painful.
[57:06] Keith: Yeah, after I've orgasmed I'm willing look I'm willing to make a good faith I'm willing to make a good faith effort I Just don't know how long good faith is in this woman's mind.
[57:23] Mike: I Think that at some point I guess she would lubricate I understand she would lubricate so you don't need to like lick your fingers. There's some concern there I mean you might lose track of what's going on I Just it's it's difficult by the way hang on there's something else I wanted to bring up with you.
[57:26] Keith: After after her partner has come.
[57:34] Keith: She might generate her own lubrication if she's aroused Plus there's your semen.
[57:42] Mike: So um, wait a minute. What was it. It's I was trying to decide whether there was a way to sexualize not wanting to kiss after you nut. So I saw this porn that was you know the guy the woman swallows the nut and then the guy like Kisses her you know, real open mouth Kiss and I don't like that.
[58:00] Keith: Um.
[58:02] Mike: Now I I respect but do not admire but I do respect that some guys like that. Okay, now then I was saying Okay, so there's this thing of like oh you know he won't kiss me afterward. But then I thought maybe you could frame it as a dominant thing like look I'm putting this stuff in you. And like this this is me being a man like this is your probably this is you I don't want it back like is there some way to make that dominant and not find it seem like ah offensive like look like this is this is like I'm putting it in you not like I'm a gift like I'm look I'm doing this to you and I don't like.. It's Gross. It is Gross. You're saying look.. It's gross for you. It's gross for me, but that's what's hot about it. That's what's hot about it is you know? Yeah well. But Also it's like I'm I'm yeah well it relates to this thing where you complain vigorously.
[58:41] Keith: Yeah, there's some yeah, there's some mind frame where it's like this problem belongs to you this this this thing I've bestowed it on you.
[58:58] Mike: As you did at the baseball game about imposing something yeah imposing something on women when you're getting a blow from them and I I like to turn that around and say like yeah I'm imposing this thing on you and then I write it's like I'm doing this thing to you and it's it is gross. Yeah, you're taking you're down there with this sort of hose pumping this.
[59:01] Keith: Um, who me yeah, um, right.
[59:17] Mike: Kind of gross stuff in your mouth and you're doing that with your hands maybe wrapped around my hairy somewhat hairy buttocks. There's nothing that attractive going on, you're doing it because you feel attached to me and you're like yeah I'm I'm this gross person who does this I service you I'm your service attendant which is very hot from a certain point of view.
[59:25] Keith: Ah.
[59:31] Keith: Right.
[59:36] Mike: And then you can then get out of the even theoretical kissing her by you're like look like that breaks it breaks the headspace honey. It's not that I don't It's not that I I'm afraid of my semen honey. It's that it breaks the headpace like I want it I want to stay in this headpa where like you're you're doing this thing like.
[59:53] Keith: Yeah I do see where you're going I'm not able extemporaneously to come up with good phraseology that that can make it hot I see the I see the connotation you're trying to to deliver I Just don't know I don't know how to.
[59:55] Mike: Yeah, if you see where I'm going with this.
[01:00:02] Mike: Oh like.
[01:00:11] Mike: Okay, well you don't I mean ordinarily when I've had this come up in a conversation with the woman. It's not right when I don't want to kiss her. It's later. It's like oh yeah I don't like that you and and then see I feel like so you it doesn't have to be hot. It could just be like look like it's like you know there's that word I think it's called it's like called kfabe.
[01:00:11] Keith: Articulate it.
[01:00:20] Keith: Um, yeah.
[01:00:26] Keith: Oh I see what you're saying.
[01:00:30] Mike: It's this word that is used for the the head space of ah professional wrestlers where they're like in this sort of alternate universe. It's like that. It's like look when I'm nutting in your mouth I'm a superhero baby I'm I'm fucking Superman and Superman doesn't eat his own nut like it's not that I have a problem with it's not that I have a problem with you. It's just that Superman doesn't do that baby.
[01:00:34] Keith: Okay.
[01:00:50] Mike: Superman gives out the nut.
[01:00:52] Keith: Ah, okay listeners if you think you could top that please write into us at y m mv pod at gmail.com or at ymmvpod on Twitter that'll do it for episode 112 of your mileage may vary.
[01:01:00] Mike: I'm working on it.
[01:01:07] Keith: As a reminder we do pay $10 if you send us feedback. So so please do so that's also the place to ask us questions which we may use on the air if you give us permission thanks for listening and we will catch you next week on your mileage may vary.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 112: Swallowing Superman's Semen, The Basement Masturbator, Heart-ons, Slow Orgasms, Anal Orgasms

Episode Transcript