Your Mileage May Vary: Vasectomology, Semen Elimination, Animal Sex, The Knot, Intimidating Clits

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith on today's show we'll be talking about bestiality oversized clitoris is the anatomy of losing 1 ne's virginity a couple of threads about vasectomies and more I'm Keith my co-host is mike. What's new in your palace up on the hill mike.
[00:22] Mike: Not much but the vasecctomy thing made me wonder whether you've thought anymore about vasectomies after I told you that um they do leave enough of a scar that a woman could know that you'd had a vasecctomy by inspection.
[00:31] Keith: Yeah, right? So the concern is I might be dating a person who is interested in me for future breeding and if she knows I had a bisectomy that could hurt my chances with them.
[00:45] Mike: Yeah, my I mean my prior on that is that that's really common that in other words that if you're dating a woman who is under 35 say telling her you have a vasectomy would substantially on average decrease. Her interest in you. What do you think about that.
[01:01] Keith: Could I store up a bunch of semen and tell her that I have stored up a bunch of semen in it in a you know, reliable sperm bank and is there something about their not being semen that are there not being sperm in the semen.
[01:04] Mike: Okay.
[01:10] Mike: Yeah I think so.
[01:21] Keith: That makes it less intriguing for women.
[01:23] Mike: I Don't think so I think it would purely be a practical matter of oh this guy is has taken a very concrete and irreversible or largely irreversible step to be child free and that it's just saying You're not a family man right.
[01:38] Keith: But sure but I could if I have all that sperms stored up I could argue otherwise.
[01:47] Mike: Yeah, that's a really interesting gambit. You're basically I mean correct me if I'm wrong. But I think what that is saying or signaling telegraphing to the woman here is look I want to have lots of unprotected sex with women. Ah but I also want to be able to settle down that's that's where you're going with that I mean and it's it shows a certain.
[02:00] Keith: Ah, right right? who.
[02:05] Mike: Level of um, forethought that I find impressive but but women might not I find it actually like amazingly impressive. But I think women might look at that and say what is wrong with this person.
[02:14] Keith: I Could just say like look I'm just being maximally Maximally responsible here I'm maximally keeping my options open I don't really know what my intentions are with anything but I just wanted to be safe in the meantime is that believable does that sound good.
[02:29] Mike: This Yeah, this reminds me of no this is not believable. It's because because yeah, there are too many um psychological triggers there but the it reminds me actually of this other topic that I don't know if we've ever actually discussed which is the ah. Fact that there is a straightforward mechanism that women can use to avoid ever having a period and it's simply ah, not going off your birth control. Yeah sorry not using the placebo pills so you simply continue taking birth control I'm not like an expert on this people should consult their doctor but my. Understanding from a fair amount of reading on this is that there is no.. There's believed to be no downside to eliminating your period aside from that you're on a ah, a hormonal pill and some people depending on the pill have side effects from that of course that's it. That's an effect right? but but but the overarching.
[03:15] Keith: Yeah I think there's both physical and mental side effects of not having the hormonal variance.
[03:25] Mike: Sure, ah, no, no, it's not ah maybe but I think it's I don't think the side I think the side effects would more be that women often experience side effects just generally with hormonal birth birth control and so if you want to eliminate your period this way you are. And opting in into hormonal birth birth control I do not believe that there are any differences in the side effects of hormonal both birth control between a woman who goes off of it for seven days a month to have a period in those who do not although that's something maybe a reader could correct me on but I believe there are no differences and but the reason I brought this up generally is I actually think like that's a pretty rational decision for a woman. In the same way that I think you could imagine a society where at like age 20 or whenever men have their most motile sperm men are just encouraged as a just de rigour to jerk off. Ah you know a bunch of times at a sperm bank store up say you know 20 babies worth of sperm. You know enough to definitely impregn much and then all get vasecctomies. I mean it remind they're similar like they're both actually pretty rational things that no one would do and I'm not well. Yeah, it actually is sort of irrational because you'd eliminate all accidental pregnancies just like women. It would eliminate this sort of irritation of having a period and yet people.
[04:31] Keith: Um, right.
[04:36] Mike: Just don't like this notion of moving toward a more like robotic society or something so they don't want to do it.
[04:39] Keith: Yeah I think something about conceiving naturally is intriguing to some people and if you and if you've had a vasectomy. You're sort of unable to now look you could still have sex.
[04:47] Mike: Um, oh ah.
[04:55] Keith: As much as you want and it could still be just as intimate or whatever but I don't know some people might like knowing that some people might like knowing that there's actually pregnancy risk every time they have sex.
[05:01] Mike: Um, well.
[05:08] Mike: That's what I wanted to know I mean are you? Well I'm wondering if you feel this way I mean the yeah, it's really the risk is mostly certainly in a less advanced society than ours. The risk is almost completely on the woman in a western nation nowadays. The risk is much more shared because. Of economic elements and genetic testing and so forth, but ah sure that yeah, that's what I meant but but ah the do you think that? ah it somehow Ams up the experience for either partner to have this risk that oh like there's this There's this.
[05:28] Keith: Well and legal and legal obligations.
[05:43] Mike: Ah, you're playing Russian Roulette a little bit. There's this substance that's being squirted into a person's body that like generally it's like okay, it's benign but there's this risk there's like there's a chance. There's a little bit of acid in there.
[05:54] Keith: Well I think generally it must be the case because you see in pornography The the women saying things like you know I want you to impregnate me or you know take the condom off or you know there. There's this is like a somewhat common trope. Um or you'll you'll see people say like oh I'm ovulating. You know we should have sex like this is like a fairly common thing and various subreddits.
[06:23] Mike: You've told me before also that you while having sex sometimes or maybe masturbate I can't remember which do actually get something out of fantasizing about like the notion of that you what you're doing is impregnating the woman I don't find this compelling at all by the way.
[06:35] Keith: Can you even can you even imagine finding it compelling like your like okay I find it compelling but not compelling enough to actually play with fire.
[06:48] Mike: I Don't find it compelling No like I that porn I mean I look here's the reason I find that kind of porn compelling is because any literally literally anything a woman does that indicates her interest in my semen I find compelling So if she.
[07:02] Keith: Okay.
[07:05] Mike: Yeah, if she's like oh impregnate me with it that would be compelling if she was like oh I I need your semen to make this cocktail hey love I would find that around the same level compelling. She's like God get it in that C cup get it in that cup. Yeah like you know that would be great too.
[07:15] Keith: I Think what's going on there. Well I don't know what's going on in your mind. But yeah, the reason why women want the semen is because biologically it's a you know, signal for getting impregnated.
[07:30] Mike: Sure I mean I mean well I don't I I Actually what I actually think is that women don't really want the semen and they're sort of yes, their rational mind wants. It. But irerationly I think they're much more attracted to just the guy. The guy. Experiencing pleasure and sort of look what I did to him as opposed to actually wanting the semen substance I think that women in general and actually I I don't think so because you can do a thought experiment which I I ah in my sad sad life of poseed to women a few times. Ah would you rather For example.
[07:48] Keith: I Think those things are I think those things are inextricably linked.
[08:03] Mike: If you if there were a substance a guy could take that had no other effects then for a period of time. It stopped him generating semen. So. In other words he would orgasm but his penis would just Twitch. He would experience intense pleasure but there'd be no semen and then you could turn it back on for getting pregnant at some point like what would you do and something like vast majority of women that I've asked this to. More than like 8 and 10 or something have said. Yeah they could just switch it off. They don't they in other words, they view. it's it's it's analogous to the would you rather give the first ninety percent of a blowjob or the last ten percent like the the semen is just pretty much a negative for them.
[08:35] Keith: I think well first of all, you're asking if they would rather there be something like male birth control and so like I think that's conflating 2 things like you need to ask them like in the throes of a sexual encounter.
[08:44] Mike: No, no, it's eliminating. Yeah.
[08:54] Keith: Do they what this seem like if you if you came up to me on the street and said like oh here's a glass of like your girlfriend's lubrication secretions which you want to drink this I'm going to say no, but there are times when that might be more interesting to me. For example when I'm at like peak arousal. So like.
[09:06] Mike: Interesting. So at peak Arousal You think you would rather have like kind of this frothy mess around her vulva than just have it be pretty clean I mean I don't think that's true because you prefer her to be shaved for example which is sort of analogous.
[09:16] Keith: No I think I think I would be I think I think arousal affects my judgment of these things in some 0 way like I don't need to I don't need to falsify I don't need to prove that like I want to like you know bathe in like a fucking waterfall of it.
[09:26] Mike: I know I'm saying at Peak arousal.
[09:34] Mike: Okay, but let me ask you this have you have you ever when performing say oral on a woman and you're very aroused which I you know I'm assume that's somewhat common. Yeah yeah, you're you're veryous. She's very arousused you This is exciting you. You're enjoying it and it's not a chore.
[09:36] Keith: And just need to show that like I'm slightly less disinterested in it in certain circumstances.
[09:44] Keith: Yeah I'm aroused or she's aroused. Ah, yeah.
[09:53] Mike: And it's one of the typical twenty first century women who has waxed and so is baby smooth down there have you ever thought to yourself god this would be so much better if she just had a Bush down here at peak arousal because that would be the natural sort of hardcore getting all the experience element have you ever thought that.
[09:59] Keith: Um, ah.
[10:12] Mike: I Wish there was some hair that could just come out. Oh who.
[10:14] Keith: Um, I'm not sure I do occasionally when I'm looking at Porn prefer looking at porn where the woman has hair down there I don't know maybe variety.
[10:22] Mike: Why yeah I don't I it's in.
[10:29] Keith: Or it seems it. It seems like more natural or dirty or something I'm not sure.
[10:32] Mike: Okay, so it's is possible that you would actually in the Throes you would be. You'd say Oh if she just has had some hair down here'd be more dirty. It'd be more okay.
[10:39] Keith: I Think so yeah I'm not sure if I've ever specifically had that thought but I can imagine having that thought and I have had that thought when masturbating using pornography.
[10:51] Mike: About the yeah about the videos who yeah I don't I don't I just I just prefer and the reason I know I've introspected enough to know the reason why I don't have that thought is that I always want the woman to be as sort of revealed as possible I want I want her to be like stripped as naked as possible if that makes sense and so like hair. Ah. Now. Of course you could say well why don't I want her to be bald on her head Fairpoint. Although that could be kind of hot. It's like she's you know, totally defenseless.
[11:12] Keith: Now there are some but I think some women look good with shaped heads. But ah, it's generally not a great look.
[11:21] Mike: Sure, Yeah, then you that's the point. Yeah, you're getting into like an attraction problem then like she' che. It's too masculine looking or something right? Okay, so you you? Okay, so but but to this point of um, being rational about a okay you So you think.
[11:29] Keith: Um, right.
[11:38] Mike: You think that women you're so you're surprised or sort of suspicious of my claim that women would like to turn off the semen like a faucet that it's basically a negative because you think that's confounding. It's conflating with the impreg The pregnancy risk of the Se which makes sense I don't think I've ever sort of delve delved that deep.
[11:53] Keith: I Just don't know like I I could imagine it being somehow emasculating for a woman to find out. Yeah for a woman to find out that her partner doesn't have actual sperm in his semen.
[12:01] Mike: Yeah, okay, okay, but I do think. Look but but I'll just put like a stick in the ground here and say that I I actually think in a rational world that had kind of a non resource constrained world that most men and most women would actually ah women would not have periods.
[12:21] Keith: Um, yeah.
[12:27] Mike: They would just use hormonal birth control to stop having them and men would eliminate that you know basically do birth control by gising and sperm bank. Maybe a couple sperm banks for some you know backup and case of failure and then just get vasectomies at a pretty young age I think that's I think that's the rational choice.
[12:42] Keith: I agree that that I think that would be a better world for both some women I've dated many women who prefer the experience of having ah this sort of like roller coaster ride of hormones every month to the experience of being on birth control I have my own personal opinion about which I would prefer but I haven't had that experience like I I'm afraid to even try in antidepressant because I I think it would smooth my experience and I don't want a smooth experience I want to have ups and downs. So I can imagine.
[13:05] Mike: I Don't know.
[13:16] Keith: To the extent that that's analogous to you know, getting rid of my period and the you know associated roller coaster of home loans with it I can imagine not wanting that but I don't know it. It seems like having periods and the roller coaster emotions around it is pretty bad I Just don't know.
[13:28] Mike: All right sure I don't think that's usually the reason I think usually women choose not to do this because they think it's harmful to their health I think there's like a lot of ah fear uncertainty and doubt around it. But sure I believe there's some women that would just not want to take a drug period.
[13:42] Keith: Yeah, well not having your period is a pretty bad indicator absent of taking medication right? So like like if you don't eat enough you a lot of Olympic athletes and runners and stuff have this problem and and stigma right? All right? Let's move on.
[13:54] Mike: Well I mean I've never had a period and it's It's not something I miss.
[14:02] Keith: I had another topic for patter but I want to make sure we get to all these topics including this bestiality topic now Mike we have fairly ah carefully avoided tackling bestiality I think we have skirted around it on a couple episodes a long time ago. But we've never really gotten into it.
[14:04] Mike: Sure.
[14:20] Keith: but but I think we're going to here. Are you ready? Okay, this person says found out my wife used to have sex with her dog when she was younger wife and I have been married for 15 years after Thanksgiving I was looking through some old pictures of her she was sharing with me stories and I noticed one of them she was in bed with her dog. She was 11 in that picture.
[14:23] Mike: Um, yes.
[14:28] Mike: Earth.
[14:40] Keith: Um, man we're really code for the trifecta here of taboo topics. Okay, okay I made a joke about if she used to do the peanut butter trick. Ah now.
[14:43] Mike: Um, let's try to avoid the let's avoid the young the youth part and focus on the dog part. Yeah.
[14:54] Keith: Maybe some of our listeners don't have the peanut butter trick. Do you want to do this or shall I mike.
[14:57] Mike: I mean I I don't I don't I mean I've never seen it done in person or anything Well actually I probably have seen it in a video. But anyway the idea the idea is that anywhere you put peanut butter a dog will lick and so therefore you can put peanut butter on a person's genitals and the dog will lick them. That's the idea.
[15:03] Keith: I think I think I may have to.
[15:11] Keith: Right? So for for a male they can kind of get a blow job from their dog and for a female they can kind of have their dog go down on him all right.
[15:18] Mike: This would never occur to me as a guy it might occur to you because didn't you have sex with a jar of peanut butter ones. Yeah, so.
[15:23] Keith: I Tried to yes but it wasn't in service of getting some to lick it off of me all right? What something something they use the proper pronouns here up.
[15:29] Mike: I Know maybe you heard about the bean a butter trick and like got confused. Yeah.
[15:40] Keith: Wife told me she did have her dogs eat her out a couple times her dog eat her out a couple times said she was curious said it felt good I thought it was weird but I heard plenty of stories of people getting oral sex from dogs. Wow this guy lives in different circles from us I didn't judge her just asked if he was better than me. We left about it and that was that. However, the next day she started bringing up her old dog again. She ended up telling me more about her dog log story short when she was elevened to when she left for college she would have sex with her dog. Yes piv a penis and vagina I could tell she was embarrass sharing the story as you fucking should be I didn't really know how to react.
[16:09] Mike: Here.
[16:16] Keith: I wanted to laugh what did to think it was all a joke but she was sincere after sharing the story she was relieved that I didn't judge her. She told me I was the first person she has ever told and how great it felt getting it off her chest and how great of a husband I am the problem is I still can't wrap my head around this I'm still thinking about her tiny self getting mounted by her golden retriever. I don't know why. But now when I look at my wife I keep thinking dog slut I love my wife to death. Yes, right? We have 3 beautiful children together and I get that it took a lot of courage sharing that with me I don't want to come off as judging or hurt her feelings but I'm still hung up on this I don't want to tell her that my brain is still fried from when she told me but it is.
[16:35] Mike: Um, I know why.
[16:54] Keith: And wonder to feel safe telling me things and me telling her that I am fucked up because she opened up to me would mess with us. Okay, some gymnastics in that sentence there. But what I am at work and I just keep imagining her moaning to a fucking dog. It was just the eating out part if it was just the eating out part I wouldn't care but the fact that they had intercourse is really fucking with my head. Interesting place to draw the line. She told me some other things that fucked with my head. She told me that the thing that made the whole experience. So unique was the fact that having sex with a dog is very primal. Oh boy in the sense that when a dog starts going. He doesn't stop even if he was hurting her dog doesn't know what rape is.
[17:19] Mike: Oh no, yeah okay.
[17:32] Keith: And then there is the not you can Google that oh my gosh? Yeah, okay, um, let me let me just say a couple things here.
[17:36] Mike: K and OT yeah and not the magazine for what people about to get married either. That's although it's ironic that that's called the the not as well. Um.
[17:48] Keith: Yeah, yeah, the dot is a yeah, it's like ah it's like a bump on the penis of some animals that I think helps keep them inside of the female partner. They're usually raping.
[17:58] Mike: Yes, and it takes a while to deflate after ejaculation. So they're sort of trapped together.
[18:04] Keith: Right? All right? So look we try to be sex positive around here. We try to not judge people for their kinks. We try to be open minded This is um across the line for basically everybody I think.
[18:21] Mike: Oh not for me I think this is fine. The let let me ask you this here? Yeah, here's a thing that I think is sort of interesting look So this is obviously a childhood mostly childhood experience that could be. It could be viewed as okay I think it's analogous.
[18:22] Keith: Ah.
[18:25] Keith: Right.
[18:37] Keith: Um.
[18:41] Mike: To finding out that your wife was molested or raped or sexually assaulted maybe repeatedly at at some some age like that and the normal well hang on the normal response to that would be something like well. It's not your fault. It's you know, like in.
[18:49] Keith: Um I agree is it better or worse.
[18:57] Keith: Right? right? okay.
[19:00] Mike: Goodwill hunting. It's not your fault. It's she's the victim. Don't blame the victim. Well the the issue in this situation is who are you going to blame are you really going to blame the dog you say look this dog and it's interesting because it um, it really opens a can of worms for women.
[19:06] Keith: Right? right.
[19:17] Mike: This kind of a story because I mean assuming it's true and I I'm sure this happens whether or not this particular example is true. Um, in that it shows an example where you can't really call the woman The victim I mean she woman isn't always the victim in ah in a sexual um peccadillo.
[19:33] Keith: I Think you I think you can I think I can I think the victim is her. The victim is her adult self and she's a victim of her like younger selves sort of naivete and not knowing.
[19:35] Mike: In a young age I mean she just isn't the victim like she chose to do this? Oh my lord. Okay.
[19:49] Mike: Ok, but you can't call. Let's let's put her just after turning eighteen so we don't have to like worry about child. Did you You can't call that age her a victim she she.
[19:51] Keith: And are you.
[19:55] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[20:02] Mike: Made a conscious choice. You could say oh something else happened to her environmentally. But but at some point and this is I think part of what feminism has to reckon with it some way you just have to give her agency and say look this chick was horny and she wanted to fuck a dog and like yeah she she did this thing. She's not a victim.
[20:13] Keith: Yeah.
[20:19] Mike: She chose to do this thing and that happens sometimes sometimes young women do things with men and ah in this case animals and they're not victims. They just wanted to do it. I mean that happens and it's sort of like ok and and that's I think what this guy has to reckon with is he can't and I think this would be challenging. If you found out your partner had done this because you can't say she's a victim you have to you have to reckon with the full weight of what she did.
[20:40] Keith: I think there's some nuance here because it happened when she was younger like I don't think there's a cliff when someone turt turns eighteen where suddenly they were signed like maximum agency I think at some point maybe at age like 26 or 27 it it. becomes like you know.
[20:46] Mike: Of course.
[20:59] Keith: Much harder to forgive and then like as they get younger various bad behaviors can sort of be not washed away but at least partially explained.
[21:03] Mike: Sure I don't think it's a bad behavior necessarily like I mean for example, let's say that you let's say let's say that you found out that a boy did this You know you just reverse the genders I don't know if it would work with a dog but I mean I do remember that article that went around like a decade ago about.
[21:13] Keith: Yeah.
[21:23] Mike: Boys in some you know in Columbia and South America no no is in like Colombia and South America regularly fucking goats or something like there you have like a female animal that has the genitals that can sort of accommodate a male reasonably I don't think a dog could um maybe it could um but whatever. So the point is you're not like.
[21:24] Keith: Fraternity. Oh yes, yes.
[21:41] Mike: Hurting the the animal sort of doesn't care. It doesn't know what's going on. Ah there I'm not sure you would judge the boy so harshly because you'd say look he's horny and it's like there's that there's a there's a yeah.
[21:44] Keith: Well, it's tricky. It's tricky in that case because the boys are yeah, it's like culturally acceptable there like the thing with with bestiality. Okay.
[21:54] Mike: Oh even if it happened here even if it happened here I mean I don't like a boy's super horny. He doesn't have access to a woman like this is one of the on this is not the core reason, but this is this rhymes with the reason I think that some kind of prostitution should be legalized to prevent boys from doing crazy shit like this.
[22:14] Keith: Um, so ok so I mean look let's let's get to it here. So is there some age beyond which it becomes more unforgivable and is bestiality.
[22:14] Mike: You know because like yeah, get a hand job. Don't go get a goat.
[22:30] Keith: That bad and if so why why is it worse than some other I don't know like is it better or worse than somebody who like coerced somebody in college into anal sex. They didn't want which is worse.
[22:36] Mike: I Think that.
[22:42] Mike: I Think it's I think it's worth noting that it is a regular practice in animal husbandry to masturbate animals to get their semen. This is a job that people do with horses and other animals horses is the one like I've actually seen a video of.
[22:54] Keith: Um.
[23:00] Mike: Ah, and so this isn't so is it abusive to the dog to the dog. No I don't I Just don't think it is if you flip the genders it. It probably is yeah.
[23:04] Keith: I Think it oh hold on hold on hold on Mike it. It could be that there's a lot of nuance involved here. There are situations where it's probably worse worse for the animals than the other.
[23:14] Mike: But the animal has to like the animal is an active participant I mean it's just like saying can a man be raped like anal rape. Yes, but can a man be raped when his penis is stimulated in other words P I V It's maybe but it sort of starts to coming hard because you know the. Male body is constructed differently from the female Body. So I So I yeah I don't like in terms of what happened here like I don't think it's I think the animal is fine I'm not that worried about the animal and like what you know.
[23:35] Keith: Sure.
[23:42] Keith: Well in any case, it's an animal and like you and I both eat cheeseburgers all the time so you sort of have to come up with some sort of ethics that makes a potentially but maybe not even actually coercive sexual experience with an animal worse than Factory farming and slaughtering.
[23:59] Mike: Yeah I mean I think I think you probably right? I think the moral lens you have to apply here is something like does this have some analogy to humans In other words is there some behavior with humans that this encourages that that that that not frowning on this would encourage and I'm not not actually sure what it would be.
[24:01] Keith: I'm not I'm not sure I think that's sort of a complicated argument.
[24:17] Mike: I mean certainly sex with an eleven year old girl is a behavior that should be frowned upon and so like generally yeah, generally that that level of youth suggests that partnered sex is too. You know you're too young for that whether it's with an animal or not and so in that sense, there's an analogy that would make you say hey this should be frowned upon um.
[24:27] Keith: Okay.
[24:35] Mike: Also having sex with someone who doesn't cannot consent should be frowned upon and so that this is similar to that to probably should be frowned upon but taken by itself like on a desert Island having sex with an animal like I'm not sure it really matters.
[24:46] Keith: Well, and yeah I mean I I just think that. Okay, yeah, let me let me stipulate I think that there is a difference between raping an animal and raping a human and I think one of those is probably worse than the other and. I think a lot of people's intuition at least at first blush without thinking this through might be that you know raping an animal at least is more taboo but I yeah I think raping it I think raping a human is obviously worse.
[25:05] Mike: Um, sure.
[25:11] Mike: I see sure but the concern that people have I mean in this is fair. A major concern people have around someone who rapes and by rape I So I So Basically to me it's a guy penetrating a female animal. The concern they would have is what does that mean about how he'll behave with humans like because you're right that animals get slaughtered so you know.
[25:31] Keith: Sure sure I Just mean? Yeah sorry I Just mean like if we're like evaluating these acts in a vacuum is this woman. Let's yeah, just say she was a woman at the time ah having her dog penetrate her worse. Than you know the average Rat boy.
[25:50] Mike: Oh no I don't think so I don't think it's that I mean it's concerning for reasons unrelated that's concerning because it makes me think that she was likely molested or potentially molested before age 11
[25:55] Keith: Correct, Yeah well and she seems to be She seems to be fantasizing about the primality of it even still.
[26:07] Mike: Right? I don't think yeah I I don't think that most 11 year olds it would occur girls. It would occur to them to do this? Um yeah, they wouldn't yeah.
[26:15] Keith: Sure look yes I agree that there are some ah downstream effects and some concerns with the person's mental state to have indulged in this and I think indulge is the right word indulged in this kind of activity. Um, but.
[26:23] Mike: Right.
[26:30] Mike: Sure I mean in the guy is right to be concerned I mean it's not just ah, the the presence of the dog. It's the what what does this mean about this person I mean I think that's actually why he's concerned like it's like what what's going on with you like what? Yeah, what's wrong with you.
[26:43] Keith: Um, yeah.
[26:45] Mike: Ah, broadly if it was just and it's really hard to look at in a vacuum because it it just isn't in a vacuum. Yeah, it just isn't like this nobody nobody wakes up one day and says oh just I'm just going to 1 time have sex with the dog and then never think about it again like there's like there's a context. So.
[26:56] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, he actually goes on a bit in this thread but let's let's move on we can we can link to it in the in the show notes all right? Well this is the episode where Mike and Keith.
[27:03] Mike: You know? yeah.
[27:14] Keith: Tacitly endorse bestiality I guess it's not not great. Ok, ah this person writes. He said my clit was too big I'm embarrassed and not sure where to go from here I I told my 21 year old boyfriend ah that it hurt me to hear that he basically said his exes had cuter genitalia.
[27:18] Mike: Yeah.
[27:34] Keith: Feel really ugly I'm not sure what to do? What can I do I Love him a lot.. He's very sweet and kind. It's just that he gets slightly huffy when it comes to me trying to explore my body sexually I don't like how it made me feel but he doesn't seem to understand that even after communicating I merely touch myself and now I'm not even going to try anymore. My body confidence crashed. And burned all right? Well um, ouch I mean if somebody is shaming you and comparing your body to their Exes. You should dump them but that doesn't necessarily mean her clit isn't too big.
[27:55] Mike: Um, to.
[28:05] Mike: Hang on I I want yeah this leads me to a question somewhat ah directly which is so you have this moment that happens somewhat frequently for you say at least once a year let's just do it with an equation like that where you have a new.
[28:14] Keith: Um.
[28:22] Mike: Partner a new partner and you and you are exposed to their vulva for the first time in in you know in lighting where you can see it. You're not totally drunk or something do you in that moment when you at first apprehend the Nude vulva.
[28:22] Keith: Clitoris. Yeah.
[28:32] Keith: Yep.
[28:39] Mike: And also you see a lot of them in po. Do you kind of give it a rating or a score in your head You mentally think oh this is kind of this sorts here among the other ones I've seen is that a thing you think at all would you ever say to yourself. Oh that's a really ugly Vulva or oh that's wow, that's impressive is that a thing that happens.
[28:53] Keith: Well yes, yes, it is I mean I definitely am vetting it for attractiveness. But I mean I'm definitely going to have sex regardless right? like this is that this this is an issue that would only matter in some sort of long run. But for the first.
[28:56] Mike: Oh sure. Okay I know.
[29:09] Mike: So where do your eyes you be the artist here where do or the the art critic where do your eyes. Go first. Let's say she's on her back. Her legs are so are she's you've pulled her underwear down or she has she spreads her legs and where do you look? first. Yeah.
[29:19] Keith: Yeah, what am I looking for I mean I'm looking for yeah labia shape and size probably clit shape and size I like when there is smooth skin sort of around the vulva. Ah.
[29:25] Mike: Okay.
[29:33] Mike: Okay, so you don't want bumps.
[29:35] Keith: Yeah, shaved is ideal. Yeah minimal bombs minimum minimal in grown hairs but look all of these things have a lot of variance and yeah I think that my um tolerability of of variance in this is probably.
[29:42] Mike: I know.
[29:48] Mike: This is helpful. Yeah, okay, but and when you look at the do you ever look at the sort of area where the bottom of the Vulva meets the anus is that a thing you consider Do you consider the anus at all.
[29:55] Keith: Average or maybe even a bit better than average.
[30:06] Keith: It meets the what is it called the paraineum. That's the like um you know what? I I think I try to carefully avoid looking down there because I'm worried that I'm going to see I don't know you know maybe they maybe they're.
[30:07] Mike: Sure sure I was there that area. Do you do is that an area that you apprehend and sort of focus on.
[30:21] Mike: Poop.
[30:23] Keith: And sanitation isn't perfect. Maybe there's I don't want to use the word discoloration but there's coloration down there that I just don't really want to continue or and to perceferate about.
[30:32] Mike: Um, okay so the pretty complicated process so you're you're basically looking let's say at the top. Ah at the the top 50% of the volulva toward the belly button.
[30:42] Keith: Yeah, in Porn I I look at the whole thing but that's because if I don't like what I see down there I can just move on.
[30:50] Mike: How long do you spend looking because I think that at some point let's say that you spent 45 seconds I think at that point the woman becomes self-conscious I think if you spent 0 seconds that might be okay that would be closer to okay, but probably there's an ideal length of time looking. Do you.
[31:03] Keith: Yeah, no I think this is like how long it takes me to evaluate whether a woman's attractive or not. it's like five hundred milliseconds yeah it's yeah super fast like I think if you I think if you showed me like 20 volvas and.
[31:10] Mike: So less than 5 seconds okay like it's less than a second. Okay and then you you head in. Um, okay, and then for.
[31:23] Keith: Yeah I got like five hundred milliseconds to look at each of them I could like probably give fairly decent descriptions of them one at a time I could remember I couldn't remember them all. But.
[31:30] Mike: This would be a fantastic. This would be a fantastic social science experiment to see For example, if men or women can are like have a more ah consistent sorting vulve Vulvas with a very short time to look at them. Ah.
[31:40] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, it would be.
[31:47] Mike: And I suspect that yes like and and I suspect that works with men's women's faces well men like have these body parts that we can like very quickly pick. Okay, so to this person's question though I think that you're probably mostly looking at the labia and not the clit. You think you're looking at the I mean like in the most cases to see the clit you have to actually do something a bit right? You have to spread the.
[32:07] Keith: Um, yeah I mean maybe not in the case of this writer but like I've seen some pretty engorged clips.
[32:07] Mike: Spread it out a little this person. Yeah how how how how engorged like.
[32:17] Keith: Are you asking I don't are you asking for a number of millimeters.
[32:22] Mike: Yeah, are we talking or toy talking like a but the oh I mean I've seen from very large ones on on on on porn sites. But I mean you're saying in real life like I mean's something that would rival a finger like ah the end of a finger. Okay.
[32:35] Keith: I Don't think that big but like the tip of a finger or something I've seen two that were like almost intimidatingly large that intimidating is not the word right word. Ah, disgustingly snuff. The right word either. Ah turn offingly.
[32:48] Mike: Surprising or oh really okay and what was your yeah.
[32:52] Keith: Large yeah like it was like all right look I'm I'm pleased that this person is pleased to be here and it does make um, finding it and simulating it pretty easy. Um, but yeah, there's a there's a size beyond which I think my brain is.
[33:00] Mike: How interesting. Did you? okay.
[33:11] Keith: Seeing something masculine.
[33:13] Mike: Let me okay that and that makes sense to me is there. Um, in those cases did you have the opportunity to see it in a non stimulated state to see whether it was a question of it growing.
[33:21] Keith: Um I don't I don't remember both these people I had sex with a handful of times.
[33:25] Mike: Okay, the reason I was wondering is because I think that for me psychologically the notion of it expanding would bother me more than if it was always that size I think it's something about the thing In other words, the growth of your genitals during Arousal is the thing that I think. Is extremely masculine to me as opposed to so for I can give you an example.. For example when I've enjoyed ah Trans transsexual porn in my life which is a no,. It's occasional's but sure if you want to. It's occasional and it's not my remotely My favorite.
[33:43] Keith: I see.
[33:52] Keith: This is coming up a lot I'm good. We're going to have to double click on this at some point but go on.
[34:02] Keith: Um, ah.
[34:02] Mike: Ah, never figures in what I post to my subreddit. For example I've actually been I've actually been had it pointed out to me that I have if you go to my subread and go through I think there may be 3 or 400 videos there. Ah yes, my my somewhat successful say you know it's got like around 10000 subscribers ah subreddit. Ah.
[34:10] Keith: This is curated Amateur porn for our newer listeners.
[34:22] Mike: It's very clear that I have a thing I look for like you can You can basically see what I like But yeah, yeah, you've spent enough that you aware. Yeah I do um so ah and it's not Trans transform. But anyway ah the.
[34:24] Keith: Yes I have I have spent some time there myself and it's you have an M o.
[34:41] Mike: I have noticed when I see this or on a camsite or something that often the transsexual man male to females have very small penises maybe because of hormones maybe other reasons and often they don't have an erection and I find that much less bothersome than when it's like a transset sorry left but less bothersome is sort of rude I find it much.
[34:56] Keith: Um.
[35:00] Mike: And easier to find compelling make it a positive than if if it's a transsexual who has just a gigantic shalong That's fully erect kind of like beating with their heart like that's I don't like like baseball bat like tapping their belly button. It's that's hard.
[35:01] Keith: Um, right.
[35:09] Keith: Um, right sure I mean there's there's degrees of ah gradiation here right? ah.
[35:18] Mike: So okay, so when you've encountered these large clits. Ah wait could you self think about it whether it was the notion that it was something because you you actually said something that made it sound like it was the erecting of it that bothered you you said oh I'm it's great that you're excited I'm here as opposed to oh this person just has a larger.
[35:34] Keith: No I think I think I prefer that it be modest in size when they're not aroused and then grow I don't care I mean I don't really care what it looks like when they're not aroused I'm probably not going to be that engaged with it when they're not aroused.
[35:36] Mike: Thing. Yeah.
[35:41] Mike: Oh interesting right.
[35:49] Mike: I would rather it shrank I want it to be small and then get even smaller when they're right I don't want anything to erect and the woman when she's aroused ah maybe nip maybe Nipples is fine but like that's different because that's like ah, very feminine, but like yeah I don't want ah or or like I guess the labia.
[35:52] Keith: Right? That's right.
[36:00] Keith: Um, sure.
[36:07] Mike: You know in the sense that like they're preparing to accept an insertion but like I don't want anything that would be potentially inserted into me to expand Yeah, but it sounds like you do you said that you want her to her clit to grow when she's aroused or that you don't care. You're but you're somewhat favorably.
[36:12] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, what.
[36:25] Mike: Favorably Dis ah disposed to that.
[36:25] Keith: I think Klits naturally swell a bit when they're aroused I think there's some normal amount I want there to be the normal amount.
[36:29] Mike: I see yes, okay, okay, yeah, and I would like I would prefer probably less than normal if I could so that's 1 reason I try to not arouse my partners.
[36:38] Keith: Yeah, but you would like you would like less than normal but everything else being equals, you would like equal Arousal I So I guess I would say the same but I don't think that's I think those things are highly correlated I think they're causal I think it swells because they're aroused.
[36:49] Mike: That's right Sure sure sure right? So the issue this person might have is simply yeah I mean like when you get to a certain size of clipt like it is ah ah well I mean you can just see that it's an analogy I mean if you if he keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. You wind up with a penis.
[37:06] Keith: Right? Yeah yeah I mean the reason why I brought this up is yes, it's awful that this guy told her her clit was too big I Just don't think yeah it would be like a woman telling a man that his penis is too small like you should break up with her if she says that because it's so extremely insensitive. But.
[37:07] Mike: And so the larger it gets the more challenging for the guy.
[37:22] Mike: Wait You should break up with a woman who says your penis is too small.
[37:23] Keith: That doesn't mean it's not true.
[37:27] Keith: But depends how they deliver it. But if it's the way that this guy apparently did with her which is he gets huffy.
[37:33] Mike: What what? if it was just like she she oh huffy. Okay, what if she just said look has anybody ever pointed out to you that your penis is kind of small is that would you break up with her I mean what have you when you've had this said to you have you broken up with.
[37:48] Keith: I've never had this said to me I don't think that's I mean that that's just not a thing that a woman would ever say.
[37:52] Mike: They would if you had a small enough. There are guys that have pretty small penises.
[37:57] Keith: I know but I think women are pretty ah almost all women are sensitive to the fact that men are sensitive about this. They would just break up with them. They wouldn't like.
[38:03] Mike: No, okay so they'd say they would make up some other reason which makes it in some ways more hurtful. It's like why.
[38:11] Keith: There's like what discussion is there to be had about a man's small penis but maybe maybe you would be in service of I want you to wear this cock sleeve.
[38:16] Mike: Ah.
[38:21] Mike: Yeah I was thinking more like in service of not having to fabricate some other reason for the breakup that he would detect was a lie and then you'd have some weird conversation where it's is this cousin my small penis. Yeah.
[38:28] Keith: Um, yeah.
[38:34] Keith: I I think only sociopaths say stuff like this like we have a friend who told a partner that she looked like a boy when so he broke up with her and then she like called him back demanding a reason and harangued him on the phone for an hour and then after an hour I think he told her look.
[38:39] Mike: Oh.
[38:52] Keith: You just you you have a boyish figure and yeah I just think that but but but this friend of ours is is you know a bit of a sociopath I think that's like unusual behavior I Think most people don't ah criticize.
[38:53] Mike: Did you Manish is that is that path.
[39:12] Keith: Immutable things on their partners even in breakup. But maybe I've just been lucky.
[39:17] Mike: Huh No I'm just sitting here reevaluating my choices in life I think I do criticize immutable features of people all the time It's rough. Yes.
[39:24] Keith: Ah, yeah, all right? Let's move on. We got yeah we got we got more to get to here so all right? So I have these two vasectomy topics. Um, they are well they're kind of different art. Let's start with this one I have a dilemma hi everyone.
[39:28] Mike: Um, yeah, yeah.
[39:43] Keith: I had a vasecctomy like nine months ago and just a couple of months ago I went to check up and it was all green I'm not generating any more sperm. Yeah so this guy is a is his english is not his first language I'm doing a lot of work behind the scenes here to clean this up. Well I'm dating a female.
[39:47] Mike: Oh I thought his cock was green. It was like Jesus Christ did okay good luck.
[39:57] Mike: Okay, okay.
[40:02] Keith: 21 and we were going out for the past four months and from the start we were having sex and I always use a condom for more protection and peace of mind. But last time since it happened a little bit more spontaneous. We didn't use one but I was fairly calm since I'm operated and she doesn't know that I'm operated so that's thing one that I want to get into here in a moment but yesterday she told me that she's pregnant. So I'm thinking 2 options the most probable one. She's cheated on me and the other one that it could be like the 1% of risk that a vasectomy has since I'm fairly sure of the first one. Can you recommend me some tips on how I can abboard this topic or how I can talk this since I'm guessing. Yeah I mean like I said.
[40:33] Mike: How a bored he's probably french.
[40:39] Keith: Since I'm guessing that she is going to say that I'm lying and make a show of this what I was thinking is showing the documents of my procedure. But if anyone has any other ideas I'll be glad to hear and please know harmful ones. Even if she cheated I don't want to harm anyone. Thank you for reading me okay, hit us.
[40:51] Mike: I Know the answer to this This is really this is really easy to answer. Um, and yeah, the word of board tells you what language he speaks but the um ah there are services. So so there's this thing that goes on with vasectomies where.
[40:57] Keith: Got him.
[41:08] Mike: You get the vasectomy and then you're supposed to come back like a month later and then a year later and get your sperm count checked and most guys come back a month later and basically no guys come back a year later I talked with the doctor about this one I had mine done and.
[41:15] Keith: Ah.
[41:21] Keith: Okay, but the hold on the the year later one squeezes out like the final 1% of risk or something. Okay.
[41:28] Mike: Yeah, that's right, that's right if if if the year later one comes out in green as the guy said then you then did see. Yeah yeah, and so it's worth doing ah and it turns out there are services. Ah so yeah, people don't want to because it's a hassle. There are services.
[41:32] Keith: It adds like three more nines to your safety. Yeah, okay.
[41:46] Mike: Where you can get a box sent to you in the mail. It's I don't know like $100 or $50 or something so and I don't know if insurance covers it who cares and you jizz in this thing and you put a cap on it and you like shake it up and you.
[41:54] Keith: Are.
[41:59] Mike: Put it back in the mail and send it to them and then it's online in like three days it's analogous to those things where you can send basically any substance in with some cash and they'll tell you if it's got what drug it is. It's actually a really good service and and and um this I think is the solution to this because basically yeah, he should just do this and if he's sterile then it's not his kid.
[42:07] Keith: Yep yep.
[42:18] Mike: If he's not then it probably is I mean it's he doesn't actually need to genetically test the kid like you can just do that and if if he's sterile then he can just be like look there's it's There's no way that I became unsterile impregnated you and then became sterile can yeah okay.
[42:29] Keith: Yeah, sure he gives more information later on. It's not his kid and so yeah I kind of want to talk about 2 things here. The first is um, wait.
[42:36] Mike: That's the high probability here.
[42:45] Keith: Was the one Oh that he didn't tell her that he has a vasecctomy. So yeah, he says I'm yeah things happened a little bit more spontaneously so we didn't use a condom but I was fairly calm since I'm operated and she doesn't know that I'm operated.
[42:50] Mike: Oh I didn't catch that actually in the okay.
[43:03] Mike: Head.
[43:05] Keith: So that is the weird thing and then the second thing I want to talk about is that yeah he has sex with her without a condom wants and then she says I'm pregnant like that ockham's razor there already was that she's trying to pin a kid on him. She didn't know he'd had a vasecctomy.
[43:12] Mike: Well, it's just yeah.
[43:20] Mike: Oh interesting I mean maybe although the the confounder here is that she also had sex without a condom with someone else. So oh your your thought is that she's trying to pin the ah.
[43:23] Keith: They have sex 1 time without and then yeah.
[43:31] Keith: Well, of course she did she already let this guy do it and she didn't know that he had an operation right? like here's the problem when you're with a new partner and they let you have sex with them without a condom. You must assume that they are sleeping with other people also without a condom because.
[43:38] Mike: Earth. Okay.
[43:46] Mike: Why. I'm kidding. Yeah I'm the one hang on but but are you suggesting that she okay are you suggesting that she was pregnant before they had sex like are you suggesting that like men when they're going to have their first condom free encounter with a woman pregnancy test them.
[43:50] Keith: They're letting you do it? Okay, yeah, right? Yeah I'm special. Um.
[44:08] Mike: But she's kind of would be kind of a clever and amusing Move. It's like hey can you pee on this stick because that is is that your suggestion like so big and the reason why I think that would be a rational suggestion is is that here's the following Fact Pattern she has sex unprotected with some guy that's kind of a loser she finds Out. She's pregnant and then she's like look I've got to find a high quality guy have sex once with him. Ah, without a condom and then say I'm pregnant to him is that What do you think happened.
[44:30] Keith: I Think it's possible. She may have known about the pregnancy and not wanted to associate with the biological father so she encourages she encourages the the op to go with no protection planning to pin the pregnancy on him that is disturbing.
[44:36] Mike: So yeah, okay.
[44:45] Mike: How would that ever work that would never work in a world of genetic testing I mean the first thing you would do as a guy is say like look I mean I would just say to the woman like look obviously when the baby's born. We're going to get it chest ah him or her tested.
[44:56] Keith: Um, she doesn't know that he knows he's had a vasectomy.
[44:59] Mike: Know Even so I would say that I would say that in all cases I would say because okay I understand you wouldn't want to do an amnocentsis or whatever to check the gender of the baby because that has a slight risk of abortion. Although in this case, the guy probably wants the baby aborted. But so the woman won't she can say no to that once the baby's born you have as a guy you have an absolute right. To I mean it'd be very Easy. You can just swat I mean you can get Anyway, you can genetically test the kit. Why I wouldn't if I would look I'm married and I and I consider Checking. Ah.
[45:19] Keith: Um, yeah, but he's going to just assume it's his.
[45:33] Keith: I mean I think that's rational Mike Okay let me ask you this just still like just to like level set this conversation. Do you what percentage of like families.
[45:34] Mike: Ah, maybe it's because I'm a psychopath but like I and I didn't I didn't and now it. Yeah.
[45:48] Keith: What forget families. Let's let's let's make this like most interesting. So let me steal man your side as much as possible. What percentage of babies out of wedlock. Do you think are genetically tested like less than 1 right? like some tiny amount.
[45:48] Mike: I Know yeah.
[45:56] Mike: Not not very high and also you're going at okay, go ahead. Wait wait did you say out of wedlock or in wedlock. Sorry oh no, it's higher than that I bet it's I bet it's 5 Yeah, it's not it's not 80 or anything but sure.
[46:05] Keith: Out of wedlock. Ok 10 ok whatever other. So so vanishingly small, right? and then like in wedlock I bet it's effectively zero. Five is already effectively zero but look let's say yeah.
[46:16] Mike: Yeah, but this 2023 and me gives you like yeah 23 and me gives you a decent way to do this by the way for all the married married gents out there. no no no no I'm hang on. No I know.
[46:22] Keith: So I think the vast majority fine. But I think they've yeah but Mike most american most americans let alone people worldwide don't even know what 23 and me is I think the vast majority of children that aren't I think I think the vast majority of children that aren't the father that.
[46:34] Mike: I know.
[46:39] Keith: Aren't the father who thinks it's the father is unknown.
[46:40] Mike: I hang on hang on hand stop. You give you? you spoke you cut me off because I was going to say something more interesting than that 23 and me gives you a way as as a gent out there to test your kid your in quotes kid without basically saying I'm doing this I haven't done this but it gives you a way to do it without saying hey I'm doing this.
[46:43] Keith: All right? Sorry go ahead.
[46:57] Keith: Yeah, Mike people don't want to do this. This isn't a thing people don't worry about their wives. Okay, they don't think it's just not a thing that people do ah when I say that I'm saying there might be some tiny fraction of men who are like you that are like super suspicious of everything always, but it's just not the norm the norm.
[46:59] Mike: Because I don't believe you know I know but it gives you a way to do it. It's just an I hear you but I'm just saying for the yes I'm not that suspicious. Okay.
[47:17] Keith: Is that yeah people.
[47:18] Mike: Sure but 23 in me allows you to do it without accusing anyone you can say hey I just want to see what what? what genes they got now. 1 other thing I want to say the reason a reason there's several reasons but 1 of the reasons why I never did this is and I I actually suspect this is somewhat common. Ah, when my first kid was born.
[47:25] Keith: Um I see.
[47:36] Mike: It looked like me I think when babies are born. They often look like the father which sort of makes sense. There's like I can see an evolutionary benefit to that if you if you know what? I mean like you look at it and you're like oh well yeah, this is definitely my kid. Ah.
[47:38] Keith: Um, yeah, that's the other thing like.
[47:45] Keith: yeah yeah I I'm always confused in these cases like you remember the arnold schwarzenegger thing where he banged the maid and like the maid son looks exactly like Arnold and like was like around the house for like a decade before.
[47:55] Mike: Yes, yes, yes, yes, right? Sure Yes I think it's.
[48:03] Keith: Arnold admitted to infidelity like did Maria Shriver know and she just pretended. She didn't know or did people's like cognitive dissonance kick in and even though it's like obvious nobody notices I don't know.
[48:14] Mike: Think it's that people know and they make the best of a situation and then something else happened that caught I'm just I don't know anything about this specific situation. But there's some other reason why this was then used as the explanation for why the relationship should end but actually like this was known the whole time I think in general, it's like the the Reddit trope of like.
[48:25] Keith: Um, yeah.
[48:33] Mike: Ah, oh I did this thing and you know in my parents' house. Whatever it is I was I beat off I had sex with a donkey whatever you did and then people always in and and my parents were asleep and then people always say they knew and let me tell you they knew like they they know what's going on like they just yeah people just choose to.
[48:44] Keith: Um, yeah, okay.
[48:52] Mike: And often I've good on them to to avoid it. Um.
[48:54] Keith: Right Is there any incentive for men not to tell their partner that they've had a vasectomy I mean I guess this is one incentive.
[49:02] Mike: We discussed one at the beginning of the show like this notion that you're basically saying unless you've done the enlightened move of having a ton of sp sperm at a sperm bag and by the way my ah brother in law had a vasectomy very young I think he was 20 5 27 something like that and because he knew he didn't want to have a kid and they required him requireds a strong word. He was strongly urged to maybe even required to so bank some sperm because they're like you know it. It's ah often men change their minds. He did not change his mind but um or so far.
[49:21] Keith: Um.
[49:30] Keith: Huh.
[49:36] Keith: Right.
[49:36] Mike: Pretty pretty confident on that one. Um, so yeah I mean anyway if they but yeah I think that women I think it would decrease I I think that if you got a vasectomy and you clearly told it to every woman I think the number of dates you got would go down I'm not sure by what but I think a substantial amount.
[49:52] Keith: I I do too and I think that's irrational but we already discuss this how much sperm do you have to bank.
[49:57] Mike: Um, okay, well 1 nut contains a lot of sperm. So I don't I don't know but I you know I think the I think this is ah yeah.
[50:06] Keith: And you have to do it at the bank right? Like you can't There's no home kit.
[50:13] Mike: Yeah, this isn't like Kramer with his ah his freezer full of his own blood or whatever in Seinfeld you have to? ah yeah, yeah, my guess would be is a complete layman is that the um if you ah, there's enough sperm in a single ejaculation probably to, but certainly to impregnate tons and tons of eggs.
[50:16] Keith: Are.
[50:32] Mike: But you'd have to do it within vitro if you have a lot of sperm a semen rather then maybe you don't need to do in Vitro you can do like ah whatever, whatever the thing resource. It's true and and by the way. Yeah, this is the thing that um I've spoken with lesbian couples where they were planning to do this I have I think.
[50:38] Keith: The I U I It's like the it's like the turkey based or method.
[50:52] Mike: Probably mentioned on the show that I've offered to father their children but I've always said that I have to do it naturally I won't use a turkey well but I do need to have that orgasm because that's the guy. The guy is getting that I mean otherwise what's in it for the guy I want I want that PIVOrgasm they don't that.
[50:57] Keith: Magnanimous. Yeah, that's nice of you.
[51:05] Keith: That they declined the opportunity I'm shocked.
[51:09] Mike: Say yes to that I you know the thing that's funny about it and and I actually find kind of offensive. Actually yeah to be honest, like not this actually bothers me more than I'm letting on I got the impression I think this happened twice and I got the impression both times that they also thought like my so like I wasn't good. Genetically. And I was like really like I don't agree with I mean I have like I don't think that's right and if I found I actually bothered me I was like who the fuck are you getting sperm from like how do you make this choice anyway.
[51:38] Keith: Right? I agree that yeah on almost all Axes you are a viable breeding partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[51:46] Mike: Well I'm fine I'm a reasonable I'm a reasonable choice like and I mean you can always get unlucky with the anyway that bothered me it's a clever move by a woman by the way to be like yeah I don't want your sperm. It's like whoa.
[51:56] Keith: It might have been that they were saying that just because they didn't want to hurt your feelings about having sex with you.
[52:06] Mike: Or they or they yeah like people have very idiosyncratic things. They I mean a lot of times they want a random donor um and and here in the the woke ah northern region of California people want like more diversity.
[52:11] Keith: Sure.
[52:19] Keith: Fine Yes, but I think you are potentially conflating I don't think it's idiosyncratic for a Lesbian couple not to want to have sex with a male acquaintance.
[52:20] Mike: To And as a a white male I'm not diverse enough.
[52:29] Mike: Yeah, but they didn't even that didn't even it wasn't It was very clear. They didn't want even before I say that it's like look we don't want your so we don't want your sperm and you're like Wow that's that's aggressive. It's like well I don't want your egg either. Then oh no I don't I Actually don't That's true.
[52:36] Keith: Got got got to got it all right? Yeah, Maybe you don't want them to have it. Um, So if you are trying to bank as much sperm as possible. Did you hear about this egg bank that like lost. Power and all of the eggs they were storing got destroyed and you know to get the eggs out of women is a huge process right? They have to go through all these hormones to try and get the eggs to express at the end of the follicles and then there's like a surgery that they go and they harvest the eggs and then.
[53:08] Mike: You know.
[53:11] Keith: They do various things to check them for viability and then they inseminate them and then they check the inseminated ones for viability and it's this whole dramatic process at this facility lost power. They lost all these women's as eggs so they're getting sued I don't know what the or maybe that lawsuit has been resolved but in any case. Yeah, as a man like let's say you're trying to keep your options open in the future. Do you need to spread your deposits around like to make sure that they're all fdi see insured like.
[53:35] Mike: If you want to if you want to have some certainty. Yeah, you'd probably want to have at least 2 I mean the odds that two would go out at the same time and of course if you have enough at probably it would be like a little bit like ah Amazon web services or something I would um for the ah.
[53:41] Keith: Well now you have to have them in different regions. It's like spreading across data centers in different regions.
[53:54] Mike: For the egg thing I think you and I both knew somebody and you've probably known more more than one I might have known I've known 2 women that were going to do this and in each case. Ah I think this is like 1 of the terrible terrible fruits of the.
[53:58] Keith: Are.
[54:10] Mike: Twenty first century that women get to this point. The reason this happens of course is that women get to say age typically typically not always but typically women get to age say 33 to 35. They're like I want to be able to I want to retain the ability to have a kid but I have this career that I love and it's just the. That's rough like it's not There's something wrong in a society where people are having to make choices like that. It's like there's there's got to be some way for people to put their career on hold or I don't know make choices and not you know say oh I'm gonna have a kid when I'm you know 57? But yeah, we I mean you specifically remember the woman that we.
[54:40] Keith: Right.
[54:46] Keith: Yeah.
[54:46] Mike: Knew at the office right? who was was what she was debating whether to do it and the entire debate was just sad. It's like it's like and her career wasn't all that by the way I mean it's like it's like you know if you really want to have kids. Maybe you should just focus on that you know find a partner etc. But yeah.
[54:51] Keith: Um, yeah, right right? yeah.
[55:04] Keith: Yeah, it's unfortunate that women run out of runway in a way that men don't although I mean yeah.
[55:11] Mike: Well, everybody runs out of runway in Life. It's not that it's that it's that society's encouraged choices in society explicitly in my opinion. Um down ah undervalues or down down values at more traditional female choices. It's not that women shouldn't be able to make choices. It's that women feel a lot of social pressure to choose career over a family even women that would actually internally rather choose having kids and family. Yeah, yeah, that's right, Well Good. So They so people I mean but but so for I'm I'm reacting to the Elite Coastal city.
[55:34] Keith: I Think that's true in Elite Coastal cities I think in Non-elite coastal cities. It's actually the reverse.
[55:47] Keith: Yeah I hear you all right I had another of asectomic topic. But I'm going to save it for next time and we'll finish up on this virginity one and I have I want to ask you because you're our anatomy expert. What you think of this all right 21 female
[55:48] Mike: Experience. Yeah.
[56:01] Mike: I Thought you're going to say I was the virginity expert. Go ahead. Yeah.
[56:05] Keith: Well, you're the anatomy expert 21 female oh yes sorry all right I got your joke all right 21 female just had sex for the first time and I can't stop bleeding my boyfriend and I had sex twice tonight and I loved every second of it the first round hurt quite a bit because my vagina is pretty small but the second go around was a lot better.
[56:14] Mike: Move.
[56:24] Keith: Problem is that I can't stop bleeding kind of seems like I'm on my period but I'm not edit. Thank you for all your sport and answers I actually ended up going to urgent care at my university and I got the all clear. There isn't any more bleeding today I've completely stopped and I am not in any pain they told me that some people do bleed for longer periods of time. And that what I went through was completely normal and then I just want to read the first comment hey you I had the exact same problem when I lost my virginity I wouldn't stop believingeding. It didn't hurt at all I changed a lot of pads and texted my gyno he called me really scared telling me to go to the hospital turns out to be a vaginal rupture five centimeters of my vagina I don't does that mean it. Said wait. What? Kate anyway hold on. Let me just get to the end here and I was sent immediately to surgery. It was quick and apparently it happens sometimes don't wait until tomorrow to call your gyno. Um, don't wait to don't wait to call your gyno. Not a good idea because I lost a lot of blood. Okay Mike several questions here.
[57:14] Mike: Um.
[57:21] Keith: First of all, what is a hynan.
[57:24] Mike: Know Jesus but bunny you tell us.
[57:27] Keith: Okay, I'll tell you what I think it is okay think women are born with or most are born with maybe it can even get like destroyed before while you're still a fetus but there's some sort of Membrane that is in your vagina that typically gets broken. Before you lose your virginity.
[57:46] Mike: Or during it's yeah I mean it's basically just that that yeah that there that there there is a membrane that makes the opening less ah accommodative than it will later be.
[57:55] Keith: Open Is it.
[58:01] Mike: Ah, there are so cases where where women are born. Girls are born with one where there actually is no opening and that's like ah that's like ah a thing that requires medical fixing. There are women or girls that are born with in such a way that it doesn't really impact them at all and there are of course many many girls who engage in some sort of activity as a child that. Tears or rips it and they will have you know they'll bleed or whatever at that point or it could remain more or less intact until they have sex with somebody or finger themselves aggressively use a Dildo etc. Yeah.
[58:22] Keith: Ah.
[58:29] Keith: Right? Do you have any idea what percentage of women make it to their first P I V sexual encounter. Okay I have no idea either. We could wildly speculate. But yeah, okay now. Okay, so when the hyman is broken.
[58:36] Mike: No, no clue that would be a really I mean honestly nobody could know that yeah I Just don't think there's any data on that. Um, this yeah, go ahead.
[58:49] Keith: There can be some bleeding.
[58:52] Mike: There could be for I mean there could be for other reasons too I mean you're you're the woman might not be adequately lubricated. There might be Um, yeah I mean there might be stretching in various areas that that are not used to it just in the same way if you stretched your your mouth a bunch you could get it to bleed.
[59:07] Keith: Um, okay, what is a vaginal rupture.
[59:08] Mike: You know that I don't know that's the part I don't I mean I I assume that's like a real thing. Um, you know that this can't be that common because um, I'd never heard of it before and I mean ok so. My more my mind went immediately is before say the year nineteen hundred this would actually have been thought of as basically you fucked her to death or something right? like and like I just feel like this is something that I would have encountered like in in novels or in movies or something because like guys would guys would be like.
[59:31] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[59:40] Keith: Right.
[59:44] Mike: The way this would have been interpreted like in the year sixteen fifty is like some sort of like wow your cock is really strong. You killed her and like I just suspect that it's very unusual slash. Yeah I mean I'm sure it can happen but they probably require some sort of genetic problem with the person or that to be able to.
[59:59] Keith: Maybe there was some piece of maybe there is some piece of detritus like on his cock that like cut her inside somehow like well no, just imagine yeah but imagine.
[01:00:04] Mike: Do that much damage.
[01:00:09] Mike: Five centimeters I mean five centimeters is is like two inches that's a huge cut.
[01:00:17] Keith: Just for the sake of argument here. There's like a piece of broken glass on his cock and it like catches the side of her vaginal wall and then like as he you know pushes in it like you know, rips open a five centimeter
[01:00:26] Mike: I mean okay, so the the the the right analogy for men to think about with a vagina is your mouth. So imagine what would need to be put in your mouth to make a two inch long gash in say your cheek.
[01:00:39] Keith: I Think a piece of glass on someone's cock in my mouth could I mean there's nothing I would do because as soon as I felt it I would stop it.
[01:00:46] Mike: You just feel like ah I think would have to be like a dagger on their cock I don't like a piece of glass would get the job done I think it had to be more aggressive than that like a scalpel.
[01:00:50] Keith: The tissue in there is pretty is pretty terrible I think once it starts tearing just don't know the problem. Yeah, the problem here is the piece of glass thing like it. Yeah, at most it would be like a piece of Sand or something.
[01:00:57] Mike: Um, also I think it would hurt a lot you would notice it like you'd tell him to stop.
[01:01:05] Mike: Right? Well and and the other problem I have is that when you sustain a significant injury. You would typically feel it you'd you know you'd you'd you'd notice. That there was something wrong and you would stop the activity and so which which is all just a way of saying I think I suspect that this person has some sort of pre-existing condition that caused them I don't um I don't think that I mean I don't want to like kill someone here but I don't think that women in general need to like rush to their gynecologist if they're bleeding after their first sex.
[01:01:20] Keith: Um, yeah.
[01:01:36] Mike: If yeah I mean I hear it like if it's bleeding for a really really really long time I mean there's some. There's a point at which be things become abnormal. Um, but the the situation that person and that commenter described is like I can't think I've got to think that's incredibly unusual and it makes me wonder if what they're saying is even like completely accurate, but okay.
[01:01:42] Keith: Um, right.
[01:01:51] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[01:01:55] Mike: I mean like think about it like you you like your anus in your rectum I mean you poop I mean the peniss are often around the size of ah a poop around you know and so you have things passing through are there all the time and you don't get um you know two inch long tears in your in your bowel. Um.
[01:02:04] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[01:02:10] Keith: Bright.
[01:02:14] Mike: So it's yeah, there's right, it's it's like what how would this even happen I mean like I like like put it this way if if I if you had to finger a woman if I told you to try to cut a two inch gash in a woman's vagina with your fingers I don't think you could do it I actually think I think I could not without a weapon. You just have to put your fingers in there and do it even with your fingernails I just I don't.
[01:02:19] Keith: Um, well Mike this doesn't need to.
[01:02:29] Keith: I think I could with I think I could.
[01:02:34] Mike: I Think you'd have to try really freaking hard I think it'd be very difficult to do it. What would you do? How would you? How would you rip open the woman via her vagina. What would your technique be.
[01:02:41] Keith: You use your nail.
[01:02:45] Mike: Okay, let's say you had let's say you couldn't use the nail because your penis doesn't have a there's no penis nail. Okay, so you what what? I would do is I would use my fingers I would use my fingers to try to stretch the wall I Pull Pull Pull pull pull and then try to keep pulling but I don't think I could get the leverage.
[01:02:48] Keith: I don't know. yeah yeah I know that's why I introduced the piece of glass into this thought experiment that was sure. Yeah I don't think so either maybe if you use like 2 hands or something anyway, all right? This is a good place to wrap right? right? right? right? Ok yes, it's Mike is always so comforting. Okay, so that's an app that's a wrap i.
[01:03:05] Mike: So like this whole story sounds a little odd to me I don't think women should worry about this? Yeah okay well I yeah I'm reassuring women here I don't think this is goingnna happen to you? Yeah yeah.
[01:03:20] Keith: This episode of your mileage may vary. You can emailil us at y m mv pod at Gmail.com that's a place to ask us questions or give us feedback if you don't want us to use your question on the air. Please say. So if you give us feedback. We famously pay $10 for any feedback we receive so give us your venmo or cash app or whatever your preferred payment app is. Thanks for listening and we look forward to catching you next time on your mileage may vary.

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Episode 114: Vasectomology, Semen Elimination, Animal Sex, The Knot, Intimidating Clits

Episode Transcript