Your Mileage May Vary: "Good Girls", Nymphos, Tinder Scams, Prison Masturbation, Submissive Men

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith. We have a spicy list of sultry topics to cover today including a conversation around out of bounds dirty talk whether a husband can be too dutiful a husband how old. Is too old to be a virgin and more I am Keith my co-host is Mike and Mike I received 2 vaccine doses today. So I hope you and our listeners appreciate me going the extra mile through the fatigue here.
[00:32] Mike: You haven't I mean you had them very recently though.
[00:34] Keith: Yeah, well yeah, that's true was within the last three hours so little bit of harm soreness. But I don't have any fatigue or body aches or anything like that yet.
[00:40] Mike: So probably hasn't had much of an impact your shoulders are probably a little sore or yeah, that's good. Ah you don't have any dates coming up or anything that's going to interfere with.
[00:54] Keith: I Do have a date this evening but I told her that I may be a little compromised from the vaccines and she was still interested so we are getting dinner at a Italian restaurant.
[00:57] Mike: Oh.
[01:06] Mike: Ah, what are you 2 doing.
[01:12] Mike: Um, that's good who's paying.
[01:14] Keith: Is that rhetorical or I will be paying. No no, we've been on a we've been on a number of dates I'll leave it at that. Yes, when do you think the right time.
[01:17] Mike: Is it the first date third day tenth date like.
[01:26] Mike: Um, and you're still paying each time. Interesting. Okay.
[01:33] Keith: For that to changes and.
[01:37] Mike: I Think it depends what's going on right? I Um, if it's a it depends on what kind of a partner you are pursuing I think so if you're pursuing someone who is um, not financially stable and if you're the man.
[01:43] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:54] Mike: Or stables the wrong word. Let's say secure she might be stable then probably it would go on longer and maybe permanently as a guy and it depends Also what kind of kind of cultural expectation. You want to set and and you're comfortable with I prefer to have the woman pay for everything.
[01:55] Keith: Um, movement movement.
[02:02] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[02:06] Keith: Right? I I mean I would too in some sort of perfect world I think the way it should work is the man should pay for the first 10 or so dates and then after that. You can have a conversation about your relative incomes and relative net worths and relative disposable incomes and then you know if somebody is at like has 80% and somebody has 20% then you can split things roughly that way.
[02:40] Mike: Yeah I mean I prefer to make more money but have her pay for everything just makes me feel like I'm winning.
[02:45] Keith: What does that achieve for you? Mike.
[02:52] Keith: But bankrupting your partner could have some long-term negative consequences. What is the most expensive restaurant you've been to in the last five years yeah
[02:54] Mike: Not bankrupt. No no, she has to make enough money that it's not bankrupting or I mean like be realistic.
[03:06] Mike: The last five years it's going to be hard to come I can cap this off. But oh no, it was probably in 5 years we went to a couple places in Paris that were sort of expensive. Ah, but that was maybe more than five years ago
[03:09] Keith: No, it's not.
[03:21] Mike: So you know honestly like it's probably going to be no more than a hundred dollars a person.
[03:26] Keith: Right? Yeah I think it's been a few days since my last meal was that expensive. Um, yeah Mike doesn't really care about fine dining a hundred still sounds kind of high I get maybe I should have asked you.
[03:36] Mike: Um, right.
[03:43] Keith: Yeah, the Median cost of your going out to dinner meals or something Do you still like that Indian place. It's primary feature is. It's affordable.
[03:46] Mike: Oh probably $25 a person or 30 sure. Yeah, that's good. There's a variety of good places. Sure yeah no I don't I don't understand I don't.
[04:05] Keith: A m.
[04:06] Mike: Ah, we had a discussion about this I don't I think that for the most part Finery is about a feeling that people are searching for and I already have that feeling so I don't need it. Yeah.
[04:12] Keith: I agree is that feeling happiness.
[04:20] Mike: Well I mean as I look out my window here at the golden gate bridge across the San Francisco Bay I can see Alcatraz and its winking lighthouse the Bay Bridge we have the ah it's it's known as a 5 bridge view in the um lexicon of the San Francisco bay area
[04:22] Keith: The.
[04:30] Keith: Era. Ah.
[04:34] Keith: Um, I thought it was a 4 bridge. What's what are the 5 bridges.
[04:38] Mike: We can see the richmond San Rael Bridge golden gate wait let me think about this Bay Bridge stamateteo bridge and dumb bar Dumbarton Bridge indeed that's true. That's true, right? so.
[04:44] Keith: Sam Mateo okay and the and the Bay Bridge is really 2 bridges so you could recode it as sixth bridge view.
[04:57] Mike: So I you know I'm I'm surrounded by enough that I don't need the fine dining experience as well and it just always strikes me as kind of I remember like going doing fine. It just makes me a little uncomfortable I remember doing fine dining like um after the high school prom or maybe before I guess you eat before the dance right.
[05:03] Keith: Um, you think it's wasteful.
[05:15] Keith: Where'd you guys go like Chili's or Applebee's or something.
[05:17] Mike: No, no, no, it was some we our um our prom was in Palm Springs California in Southern California and we had to kind of go out there. We lived in a different town and we I don't we went to some fairly expensive restaurant. It was fine I mean it was but I thought it just felt kind of embarrassing to me. Ah I don't like the.
[05:34] Keith: Who embarrassing for who for whom.
[05:36] Mike: Delta for me me it feels embarrassing to me for example, like when I watched you maybe you watched the coronation of King Charles the third hopefully the last King of england um, yeah I mean I think that if I were in that position. The the.
[05:45] Keith: I Aggressively avoided it. But I'm aware that it occurred.
[05:54] Mike: This set of people waiting on you I find embarrassing just the notion of people waiting on me I don't like yeah.
[06:00] Keith: Um I don't like when people celebrate things like my birthday or something I Really don't like that feeling but because it feels fake and performative and I guess it sort of is at a restaurant but that's what the Bunny's for.
[06:09] Mike: Um, okay.
[06:16] Mike: The money not the bunny the money? Yeah yeah, I mean for example, if I have people like I have some people here working outside my house right now some laborers that I'm friends with what I'm not friends with them I pay them right? and but I'm yeah there you already get the unease.
[06:18] Keith: The money.
[06:32] Keith: Yeah, yeah I city. Okay I understand your theory of mind to there I just I like the show I sort of like.
[06:33] Mike: I Often feel obliged to like go work with the laborers because I don't I I just feel embarrassed like just paying these people to do work for me. Yeah.
[06:50] Keith: I Like the way things are plated I like trying interesting flavor combinations. You're going to say that doesn't matter. Um.
[06:58] Mike: Not much to me at least does it does it would I mean are you? You're much less likely to do it by yourself though right? I mean often it's in service of um, impressing a young lady right.
[07:08] Keith: Ah, no I think I enjoy it by myself I think I have more solo meals than almost anyone I know maybe anyone I know I mean I travel a lot solo. So that's part of it and you know I'll be in an interesting place in the world that has.
[07:15] Mike: 1
[07:22] Keith: You know, an interesting restaurant. Well when you travel solo you have to eat out pie yourself. Um, yeah, but I could or you know go to a hostel or I guess those are the choices I could could pay people to eat with me.
[07:24] Mike: Sure Well, you don't have to you could tinder it up or whatever.
[07:34] Mike: Hiro prostitute sure on some level. Yeah.
[07:39] Keith: Which I guess you're sort of doing when you take people out on a date. Yeah, all right enough on this. Let's talk about talk about sex. Did you have something you wanted to bring up.
[07:48] Mike: Well somebody messaged me. This is the second time we've gotten this feedback Keith regarding your frustration with things that I'm saying check this out. This is a guy on Reddit this is somebody who found me undoubtedly from my subreddit my increasingly popular subreddit.
[07:55] Keith: Um.
[08:08] Mike: RSlash curated amateur porn which has only the best amateur porn curated each day by me. Ah, he said ah listened to the most recent podcast yesterday by the way he sent this at 5 am great discussion but Keith needs to quit yelling at you true true five am Pacific time
[08:08] Keith: Are.
[08:17] Keith: Yeah, well you don't know what time zone he's in okay I need I need to what? yeah, definitely.
[08:27] Mike: So it could have been 8 am he was he needs to quit yelling at you he was getting a bit riled up and then I said you're not the first to say that and then he said as someone who's married I'd rather hear more of your opinions and experiences than Keith who's out there getting new chicks every week who lives like that other than 20 somethings. Any feedback on that.
[08:46] Keith: What percentage of the talking. Do you think you do on our podcast. Yeah, that says about right? So like what else is there to say other than that I beat a baby I'm annoying and I say like annoying stuff. But yeah, like to the extent that.
[08:50] Mike: Probably 65
[09:01] Mike: Um, yeah.
[09:06] Keith: Our conversations are collaborative I definitely defer to you in general.
[09:11] Mike: Yeah I think and also I think that he misses the reality that there are a lot of fun situations that arise. Um, as a result of having somebody who is dating younger women or dating around call it. So.
[09:24] Keith: He thinks I'm missing some of the nice things that arise out of a long-term monogamous relationship.
[09:31] Mike: He's just saying that I would have some interesting things to say and I probably I might but I think that a lot of the banter that we have comes from the ah interaction of the the existence of somebody who has more novel experiences.
[09:44] Keith: Yeah, yeah I mean we can do should should We do some episodes about your relationship with your wife.
[09:46] Mike: Going on if that makes sense.
[09:55] Mike: We could as I said I mean it's in terms of sex. It's just me ejaculating and running away figuring out ways to decrease intimacy. Ah yeah, I mean if you make the house as cold as possible then people want to sort of. And under the covers and hide from each other things like that and you can vouch for the fact that I do like the house physically cold.
[10:12] Keith: It could Yes, you do physically and symbolically I should we could do an episode where I interview you that could be entertaining. It might be entertaining what we'll talk about it.
[10:19] Mike: Yes.
[10:25] Mike: Oh Lord yeah, that's true now. Yeah.
[10:31] Keith: But yeah, like my general response is that person might just not like what I have to say which is fine but I don't think there's an unfairness aspect in me talking over you and not letting you get your thoughts out I think that's preposterous accusation I know I know.
[10:37] Mike: Um I think he might be jealous.
[10:44] Mike: It's interesting though. The 2 different 2 different people were frustrated by that and I I you know did I already say what I thought it was I think it's I thought it was just yeah I did last episode that I thought it was just these people I was saying something that was kind of political red meat for them and they didn't want it to be. Ah debated and I disagree with that people should be okay with their political red meat being debated. It's one of the problems with our country is people don't want to debate sort of in fair ways. So this isn't going to turn into npr guys. Don't worry.
[11:05] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, yeah I mean okay I'll be mindful of trying not to talk over you but that's such a.
[11:22] Keith: Like my experience is not that I dominate the conversation with you and I don't think that's the objective reality either and so it's sort of a strange accusation like if they said I like when you talk more Keith says boring stuff. That's that would be different than the accusation that I'm talking over you.
[11:25] Mike: I Hear you I agree.
[11:38] Mike: I would have liked it better if they said that Keith is boring that I'm cool that would have been more fun but it's maybe I don't I don't know I'm just more relevant to their life experience or something that's fine. They got a got a dream guys you you could you could get out there on.
[11:43] Keith: Um, I think that might be what they mean to say.
[11:51] Keith: I'm not sure I'm not sure.
[11:56] Mike: Ah, various dating apps and sites and find out what's available too or ah trist dot link Lots of escorts I saw some good escorts this morning.
[12:00] Keith: Yeah, I'm just trying to.
[12:06] Keith: I have never been to that website does it like try to install browser plugins If you if you go there.
[12:12] Mike: No you you asked me about it when we were talking with your friend about the topic of the purported women who make $2000000 a year escorting when we discussed that and you asked me for a couple of websites to use this. You didn't actually go look at them. Okay, well.
[12:22] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah I know I didn't.
[12:32] Mike: There's often some sweet stuff on there but these are working ladies right? so.
[12:35] Keith: Right? Do those websites do a good job screening out scammers. Yeah.
[12:40] Mike: I Have no idea because I've never actually used one I just go to them. Basically it's a little bit like going to a porn site. It's like to titillate myself a little I don't yeah I've never actually yeah yeah, there are profiles on there there I Honestly don't read the profiles I just go through the photos.
[12:48] Keith: Do they write I hear you do they write profiles.
[12:57] Keith: Fine. Yeah I hear the the profiles sometimes are a canary that can indicate that there's trouble in the coal mine.
[13:07] Mike: I Kind of doubt that there's scam. Oh I guess they would ask for an upfront payment or something that's that would be the trick because I mean they are planning to meet you for money and so I think in most cases, there's yeah.
[13:13] Keith: Yeah, that is that is what's going on on seeking and tinder and bumble and for these various scam things is they I mean it varies but they try to wheedle money out of you somehow.
[13:27] Mike: You you you message them. You message them to have an out call or whatever sexual rendezvous and they send you back a message saying they're trapped in the trunk of their car and need $20 to get out or something and then something like that.
[13:29] Keith: And there are various levels of sophistication.
[13:40] Keith: It's not quite that unsophisticated. But I mean I've heard a number of I'm I'm pretty good at detecting it immediately now like if somebody has an empty profile. They're almost certainly a scammer because a scammer doesn't want to invest the time to fill out a profile because.
[13:52] Mike: Um, right.
[13:57] Keith: It's going to get reported and shut down in fairly short order anyway and so they could do it algorithm algorithmically or copy copy and paste. But.
[14:02] Mike: Fair I mean they could have right now that Google bard is out you can use that to generate your profile I asked google bard um have you used google bard. Okay, it's the same as chat gbt in in general.
[14:12] Keith: Not yet.
[14:19] Mike: I Asked it to describe intimate details of the female clitoris to me and it did that it won't talk about any of the typical hot button topics that I don't need to bring up like you know, racism or something. It won't talk about any of that. But I but on the sexual topics then I asked it what I was asking I was trying to drill down no pun intended. Into female genital mutilation because I'd actually read I'd seen an article about this and I wanted more details and it just would not talk about that I wanted to understand what exactly happens I was looking for kind of detail about like what's removed What? like what are they actually doing to the woman and it's actually kind of difficult to get.
[14:41] Keith: Ah, ah.
[14:51] Keith: Yeah.
[14:56] Mike: Probably because it's viewed as like something someone who used to be titillated I actually was just curious genuinely from like sort of a scientific perspective of like what no I was just curious what like well I was curious like whether these women can orgasm. For example.
[15:03] Keith: Ah.
[15:08] Keith: After they've had a clitorecto me.
[15:11] Mike: Yeah, and the reason why of course you'll know why and the the reason why I was curious about that of course was because I thought it would be an interesting scene for exploring vaginal orgasms like do yeah.
[15:19] Keith: Right? Can you have a clitter can you have an orgasm without a glitter is yeah that's an interesting.
[15:26] Mike: Right? I thought or well then this comes to this question of like what do they remove I mean obviously it's it's not a real surgical procedure. It's just a bunch of nonsense in various third world countries. Um, but what? yeah, what typically do they do and this is something so then I asked Bart about it and it just would not tell me anything about that.
[15:33] Keith: All right.
[15:42] Keith: Yeah, yeah, they have to erect scaffolding. They don't have to but they do erect scaffolding around this I think probably to cover various Pr stuff like the famous one is.
[15:44] Mike: This taboo.
[15:52] Mike: Yes.
[15:56] Keith: If you ask it? How can I bully someone or you you know you tell it a situation. You know I'm a middle schooler and this has happened how can I bully this person. It'll not tell you um and then there are various other verbotten things.
[16:05] Mike: Um, but but it won't even give you. It won't even give you like a so strategies for how the confederacy could have won the Civil war.
[16:13] Keith: Yeah, but this means there's a team of people that are trying to figure out what kinds of prompts could be could generate troublesome output because the ai doesn't know the ai doesn't know what's forgottent so they're telling the Ai what's for forgotten.
[16:16] Mike: Right.
[16:26] Mike: Yep, right.
[16:32] Keith: And they might not even the ai actually probably still doesn't know it's It's just based on Keywords you put in the prompt which is why clever Prompt Engineers can actually work around it and get it to Yeah, they're squeezing toothpaste out of the tube right? So they got the the easy chat Prompts first and then.
[16:42] Mike: It's become less and less possible when they first came out Chatchi Bt was quite Fun. You could do a lot of stuff Now. It's just yeah, right. Yes, yes, yes, you used to be able to get the the the a I bot to pretend. It's in a world where such and so is okay and then talk about it. But it's yeah none of that stuff works anymore.
[16:52] Keith: More and more so clever ideas are slowly being killed out now.
[17:05] Keith: Um, yeah, all right? Let's move into our topics. This person says I a 36 year old male called my new sexual partner 35 year old female a good girl and she freaked out. Sex has never been a huge thing for me. But since breaking up with a long-term partner I decide I would be more exploratory in terms of my sexual life I've met a new lady and have had sex a few times starting to really enjoy the act again. However, while having sex last night I told her she was a good girl while she was on top saying give it to me Daddy. She immediately got off me and freaked out saying don't ever call me a good girl I asked why it's just something I said in the heat of the moment and she promptly got dressed and left I've tried calling but she is ignoring me and won't reply to my messages that that she is reading this. They must both have iphones. It's not something we spoke about before with. Been exploratory with each other and have set for form firm boundaries about what we like god this person's writing about what we like and don't like I'm quite confused by this and would love to know what would this trigger anyone else here to god I'm sorry I tried with the grammar I I struggled.
[18:03] Mike: Are.
[18:12] Mike: Right.
[18:14] Keith: Um, Dirty talk is a bit of a minefield I've had partners that like that have they call this a praise Kink That's when they like being told they were a good girl and that they're you know.
[18:27] Mike: Well, it's the it's the word girl I Assume is the but go on okay girl good in good something right? Oh I'm sure of it.
[18:35] Keith: Ah, you think it might be girl. Okay, and then there's people and then there's people who have a what's the opposite of praise. Ah a yeah submissive kink where they like being told what to do and yeah sometimes.
[18:43] Mike: I'm submissive or something satism masochism. Yeah.
[18:50] Keith: Some men like being mocked actually. Ah but you know you can say you're a bad girl to right? that would be like the opposite I suppose Although maybe you're say you could say you're a bad grandma. You think that would fit in Bo for her.
[18:53] Mike: Um, sure. Ah.
[18:58] Mike: Um, yeah I mean this is.
[19:07] Mike: Well I mean she right? She didn't want to be called a girl because she has some sort of association there or some kind of hangup and is not she's choosing not to acknowledge like the common usage of that word in especially in this kind of context. Um, yeah.
[19:14] Keith: Ah ha.
[19:19] Keith: Now is that is your opinion on that at all mitigated by she calls him daddy.
[19:29] Mike: It makes it weirder. It makes it weird I mean I.
[19:31] Keith: While she was on top saying give it to me Daddy makes it hypocritical or inconsistent. Anyway.
[19:40] Mike: It's it's superficially inconsistent but I mean it just means that she doesn't view she views Daddy is in some different category than girl. Which yeah, it's nonsensical I mean he should count himself lucky I mean the weirdest part about that question actually was the.
[19:46] Keith: I say.
[19:54] Mike: Part where this guy who's like 35 is like no interest in sex. Yeah yeah, that's it's just weird. It's like he's like oh I'm I'm given another shot. It's like what what planet are you from I mean how did how did you even get here right? That's not.
[19:56] Keith: I Thought you might thought you might zoom in on that. Yeah.
[20:08] Keith: I've heard good things.
[20:10] Mike: I Mean a woman saying that would make sense to me a man saying it is very I I've actually I'm not sure I've ever seen or encountered a man saying something like that before it's really uncommon like men's interest is kind of deep and abiding typically and also yeah, there's another thing I would say a guy who genuinely wasn't interested.
[20:18] Keith: Right? right.
[20:30] Mike: I Don't think would be posting on the sex subreddit or wherever you got this question.
[20:34] Keith: Yeah I mean what's your what's your theory here like is he lying is he.
[20:37] Mike: He wouldn't yeah.
[20:45] Mike: Um, no, no I think he's probably telling the truth. It's just a very unusual circumstance where this guy was casting around for an explanation. Ah yeah, and the explanation's fairly simple here. He's dealing with a woman who's got some deep trouble. She's troubled.
[20:57] Keith: This this girl thing didn't occur to me at all I mean girl is a what's the word when you like make something seem young. Is there a word for that is a It's not infantilizing that it. There's a.
[21:04] Mike: Ah, okay.
[21:16] Mike: Yeah I understand.
[21:17] Keith: It's a it's it's it's not euthanizing. There's that it's a there's sub term for like making things seem seem young and but it's not colloquially men. Don't use it that way. That's just sort of a way they refer to like often often it means like.
[21:23] Mike: Yeah, sure.
[21:37] Keith: Yeah, you're like separating it from a woman which is a little bit less of a sexual term or something.
[21:42] Mike: I Think that's right? But what? what did you think was going on if if it wasn't that that word Wow that's weird. Oh yeah.
[21:47] Keith: I Thought she didn't like the praise part but you must be right? You must be right that it's the girl part at least a reaction this severe for the praise part wouldn't make sense.
[21:58] Mike: By the way I wanted to say this. This is a little unrelated. What what was the act they were doing She was on top. Okay, this a little related I was watching I was going through some um, some adult content this morning as I do it's I don't get paid for it. But I get paid for.
[22:03] Keith: Yes, saying give it to me to Annie.
[22:18] Mike: Purportedly doing other work while I'm doing this so same thing. Um, you know a lot of people might well my laptop's paid for by a company and you know most people use like an incognito browser I hear all these things about people who have a special laptop for porn. Oh I Never do any porn on your work laptop I've always always.
[22:21] Keith: Ah, the time is compensated.
[22:37] Mike: Done porn on my work laptop and never had a problem anyway, I highly recommend it. It's kind of it makes it a little more fun. Um, ah so I found 3 videos it was not it was it was a subredit and I don't remember the name that was specifically around women sitting on men's faces.
[22:53] Keith: Oh no, oh no, okay so ass cheeks toward his nose.
[22:56] Mike: And these were 3 very popular ones and all 3 of them all 3 of them had the woman facing toward the man's legs. Yeah now 1 thing in 1 of them. The guy moved his tongue upward toward her butthole. So I guess that maybe was like the pretense of this.
[23:16] Keith: Ah, yeah I mean I think to eat someone's ass which is an act I've never done but I imagine that one of the more convenient positions might be the the one you just described.
[23:16] Mike: Yeah, right? he's he's because their buttholes higher because she because they're positioning.
[23:30] Mike: Yeah, ok, no, it was just it was just that she was sort of yeah it was just that she was in that position as opposed to the I Just think that I Just don't think that my so my view on this is mostly informed by porn.
[23:32] Keith: Was but that wasn't happening in the other two videos. There wasn't ass eating.
[23:48] Keith: Ah, ah I do think it's pretty crazy Should we remind the listeners. What what? The debate here is okay, the discussion is when somebody is face sitting. So.
[23:48] Mike: And just don't think my view on this is as crazy as you seem to think it is like I think that it's I I think it's go ahead.
[24:02] Keith: A man is going down on a woman but the woman is in a more dominant position than the classic one where she's just laying on a bed. She is straddling his face somehow and is she normally which direction is she facing is she facing clit towards his nose or asshole toward his nose and.
[24:10] Mike: Yes.
[24:21] Keith: I argue that it is always clit toward nose because it's better for so a number of reasons like first of all, she can't even really grind if she's facing the other way. what' she going to like angle her pelvis so that her clit is like grinding on your chin somehow.
[24:38] Mike: Um I don't I don't know what you mean by that what? what? okay in in the in the classic variation that you're describing. What's she grinding against your nose. You're like front to like you have buck teeth. Jee's
[24:45] Keith: She's not really I mean or that that the top of your yeah, whatever that area between your nose and mouth is called.
[24:53] Mike: I I would think that I sort of think your lower jaw is a little more solid and it's more mobile for sure. So I actually think that maybe that would be better for grinding against.
[24:59] Keith: But in one way the I just feel like the angle is better. We really need we need to get some women who it's going to be hard because most women I think don't like this because it is quite dominant and a lot of women. A lot of women feel insecure.
[25:09] Mike: Um I don't think they don't want to do this anyway.
[25:19] Keith: We could just ask Reddit if we ask on write it. This will be a yeah this will this that'll make it that'll get it just positive all right? Let's do that and then we'll report back for our next episode. Let me take a note here. Ah ask Reddit which way women face when face sitting.
[25:21] Mike: Um, that's true.
[25:24] Mike: Okay, yeah, that's fine. Yeah I think I mean you could all. Yeah I mean I think generally the problem is women don't care and men are putting them in the position and then it's going to be whatever the guy fetishizes I Just think that a lot of guys fetishize.
[25:44] Keith: I Don't want I just feel like in that position your nose is basically to asshole by default I think fewer that would prefer that but would prefer the other direction.
[25:44] Mike: Something about her but seeing her butt something.
[25:50] Mike: Yeah, but guys there are guys that like that. Yeah yeah I don't know. Okay.
[26:02] Keith: Yeah, all right? Well we don't know why this girl freaked out all right, let's move on. Ah this person says is there a name for prioritizing my wife's pleasure I'm trying to put a name on a feeling I've got I love my wife I you're going to hate this Mike but it's it's this is. It's so good I love my wife.
[26:21] Mike: Um.
[26:21] Keith: And I get really turned on by going the extra mile for her by being attentive I do things like proactively book her manicure and pedicurere appointments I tidy up her side I tidy up her side of the bathroom in the mornings I clean her shower on the weekend. So it's spotless I mean I imagine him like picking pubes out of the drain.
[26:26] Mike: All what.
[26:39] Keith: I Do many of the chores washing dishes I mean what? let's just keep reading here washing dishes vacuuming making sure she's got a full tank of gas in the car basically being proactive turns me on and obviously my wife notices and appreciates it.
[26:40] Mike: I Wonder if he ah does he insert her tampons.
[26:48] Mike: Um, what.
[26:54] Keith: If that's so obvious but that's what we're going to discuss I Love taking care of her a bull a bull. Yeah on the side. Yeah making things easy when I do I feel like she's relaxed and more sexual too. She can focus on keeping herself happy and healthy.
[26:56] Mike: She's probably got. She's one of these ones with a with ah a a stud where they call those is it a stud a bull a bull. She's got a bull on the side. Yeah.
[27:13] Keith: I Also do sexual things for her I always make sure she comes during sex so he thinks most nights I do go down on her and I surprise her with sex toys. She can use in the shower to unwind on long weeks I know there are communities on here for people in female Led marriage. But my wife doesn't tell me what to do. However I'd consider her pleasure and comfort. Most important. So her name for this feeling. Slash Kink is this just marriage.
[27:35] Mike: No I'd say that's like being being a cuck.
[27:41] Keith: This seems like a very fine line here. I mean there's something to be said about helping around the house and not being a total loser of a partner but this feels like and like you you'll often hear. People were talking about dead bedroom and the advice is often that the man should you know help her around the house more make sure that she's not you know, concerned about chores. Ok, but that is like sort of common advice. You hear.
[28:06] Mike: I Think that's terrible advice by the way, let me just say why that's terrible. That's terrible advice because that's not what's going On. They're not.. That's what what that advice comes out of is somebody casting around for explanations when the real explanation is just. You know, either low sex drive or low attraction or attracted to someone else or whatever. There's some other thing going on and then it's like well you you're trying to find some concrete thing that explains it and um and that's often going to be something that could explain it but I don't It's not.. It's not right.
[28:37] Keith: Have you heard the expression something like men have sex to Relieve stress and women can't be stressed to enjoy sex have you heard something around that.
[28:50] Mike: Yeah I've heard things like that Sure yeah, a man wants to get his mind off of things because it sort of clears his mind but the woman can't enjoy it if she has a full mind.
[28:59] Keith: So someone might argue that if there's too many household chores or something that she's unable to relax in a way to enjoy sex.
[29:10] Mike: Yeah, the problem with the problem I have with that are that notion is that ah you're dealing with more of a personality thing. Sure could you have a guy that's like so horrible that he leaves everything on her shoulders. Yeah, that could happen but in most cases, it's not that it's that it's that like.
[29:28] Mike: Um, she's bad at organizing or something like that and so even if you did take things off her plate. She would put other things on her plate, etc, etc. And I think that at core and I also don't really think this that that you whatever aphorism about the guy relieving stress in her. Whatever I don't even think that's true. Actually I think it's much more like hormonal and.
[29:33] Keith: Right.
[29:46] Keith: Okay, yeah.
[29:47] Mike: Genetic than that like people just have like a set point and guys have a higher set point on average than women for sure.
[29:54] Keith: My guess would be that behaving this way towards a woman in the long run on average would displease them. They they might not be able to articulate why they feel displeased because saying.
[30:06] Mike: Well, he's setting himself up for herd.
[30:13] Keith: Feel like you're helping too much or I feel like you're making yourself too available. You're making yourself too. Submissive isn't the word you're making yourself too pleasing. You're you're trying too hard like.
[30:29] Mike: I don't know so um, did you did you read the New York Times article that came out recently about um Liz Holmes Liz Holmes of course was formerly Elizabeth Holmes the Ceo of the Hindenburg -esque Theranos company who is now supposed to go to jail but she's still.
[30:39] Keith: Um, nothing.
[30:46] Mike: Still not there anyway. Ah so if you have somebody like that. Um, so this article is about how she's just like adopted this sort of very traditional female role now in her I guess marriage she married to the guy I don't know but she's she's basically.
[30:59] Keith: Ah.
[31:06] Mike: Kind of changed her approach to life and blah blah blah. She keeps like appealing at the last moment and like getting things delayed and stuff like that I mean she's been convicted So I think she'll eventually be in the pokey. That's right? Well she's a.
[31:08] Keith: Why isn't she in prison.
[31:17] Keith: And in the meantime in the meantime she's just playing house mom.
[31:25] Mike: Her claim is that she was playing a role when she was being the Ceo of Theranos that she was being who you can read the article like it has. There's a bunch of stuff she says.
[31:32] Keith: No man That's that's like ah that's a pretty serious blow to the me too movement not me too lean in movement.
[31:38] Mike: Um, maybe um, but let's say so let's say that. Ah, so then you could ask like why is the guy attracted to her I mean she's felon and so forth or whatever she committed crimes I don't know but ah I could see an environment where the woman really was the top dog or would be kind of hot to like be. Second fiddle to her but that would have to be a pretty unique situation like somebody who's a Ceo of something and in that case in a particular kind of guy that would want that I think in almost all cases this is going to grate on the woman because essentially the guy's usurping her traditional role.
[32:01] Keith: I see right.
[32:14] Mike: And she's going to not know how to place herself unless she's some sort of like high-powered executive or something.
[32:20] Keith: It's not only that he's usurping her role. He's not really fulfilling various aspects of his role and I feel like you would have more to say about this than me because I actually I actually struggle to understand this at times but like he is not being.
[32:29] Mike: Um, ah oh.
[32:38] Keith: Yeah, he's not being assertive or dominant. He's being like sort of the opposite of those 2 things.
[32:41] Mike: Why do you think I would be better positioned other than that feedback we got about wanting to hear more from me like.
[32:48] Keith: Yes, can you now talk for an hour. Um I just feel like I think there's a little bit of a paradox between the the way that um, feminists purport to want the world to be. And the way that most women behave in the bedroom I think there's a little bit of a paradox there. So yeah women want like total equality and respect and you know more Alpha behavior outside of the bedroom but inside of the bedroom most women still prefer sort of classic submissiveness. And yeah.
[33:06] Mike: Yes, well.
[33:21] Mike: I Don't think it's just inside versus outside the bedroom I think it's also when it's it's essentially in situations where they're not being watched by somebody who's who they're trying to you know, look a certain way for so in a relationship when you're alone with them.
[33:22] Keith: But you seem.
[33:40] Mike: I Think there is a set of behaviors that are going to be more comfortable for most women.
[33:42] Keith: Yeah I don't know if this restatement is exactly right? but you don't think there's a paradox because you think women actually prefer to be submissive in most acts areas.
[33:54] Mike: Right? Just in the sense that let's say there was a huge social movement where it was where it was the submissive man movement and women sort of stayed the same and men. There was just a lot of pressure on men to really adopt. You know, kind of to be house husbands. To defer to women in all cases or whatever in most cases to not be aggressive all these sorts of things like it would be wouldn't be particularly believable and the reason why it wouldn't be believable. Is you'd say well. But you know for a whole bunch of reasons including like looking at animals looking at evolution so on and so forth I mean just looking at history.
[34:27] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[34:32] Mike: That this is not traditionally the role these people occupied and so there's something weird going on here. There's some kind of overlay that's being put on there. Um, and it's like a lot of these social Phenomena they're in the service of a small percentage of people and I think this is true for a lot of things whether it's gay rights or Trans or any of these things. There are really people who benefit From. Ah, making these things possible but that doesn't mean everyone needs to act that way right? just because there's a small group group of people who who are Trans or whatever doesn't mean you need to set up your society as if everyone's Trans or whatever. Not not that anyone's doing that but it just gives the general idea.
[35:05] Keith: Yeah, sure.
[35:08] Mike: The the historic the way things were two hundred years ago is going to still be the way people feel about things most most of the time for most people. Yeah.
[35:11] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, all right? So zooming back in here I think that was well said I need to think about that a bit but yeah, zooming back into this topic I think this guy.
[35:30] Mike: He's going to get cocked.
[35:31] Keith: Ah, it seems highly probable that she's not actually I mean he seems convinced that she's very pleased. He's like when I do this I feel like she's relaxed and more sexual too. She can focus on keeping herself happy and healthy.
[35:46] Mike: Yeah, that's not that's it's not I mean it's just a misunderstanding of what people want people want to have um, something important they do in their life something that matters for the people around them and there are these sort of male and female roles and I can imagine them being flipped in a relationship but he's basically saying he takes on both roles.
[35:56] Keith: Um, yeah.
[36:03] Mike: And the woman has no role and that's that's a recipe for a ah for a bull I'd like her I'd like to know their address.
[36:08] Keith: Yeah. Ah, yeah, those is a recent post so we can put it in the notes people can try and hit them up all right? Let's move on this guy says a guy rejected me for still being a virgin now this is a 28 year old female went on a casual date with a guy a few days ago he wanted to hook up so I told him the truth. Changed his demeanor and wished me good luck I don't want to be a thirty year old female virgin I do crave sex. It seems like men don't want to be with an inexperienced woman. So how do you find someone and lose your virginity edit give guess what she says in the edit.
[36:50] Mike: Ah, there's probably a bunch of people that have messaged her saying they they'll fuck her.
[36:52] Keith: Yes, yes, so rip. Yeah basically rip after waking up to a few hundred messages. Yeah, um.
[37:00] Mike: Um, well there you go I mean she is getting offered I mean that's what she wanted right.
[37:03] Keith: Yeah I I don't and.
[37:08] Mike: How many messages do you think I would get if I posted this as a man. Do you think there'd be women that would offer to fuck me.
[37:13] Keith: You might get literally 0 You might get some messages from from men I'm not sure it would depend on the context presumably. There's a picture your age and then are you allowed to say a bit about yourself.
[37:17] Mike: Men right.
[37:31] Mike: Where you of course you could sure. Do you mean like AslH sex location now.
[37:33] Keith: Okay, well then you might be able to craft something that could get some inbounds.
[37:42] Keith: Oh it's the King of American Sign language ah like how could you craft and invite that like could engender some empathy.
[37:54] Mike: It's impossible as a guy you might get some very very unattractive woman who throws you a bone but it's unlikely I think you would just get guys fake accounts stuff like that you get 0 So I mean you know she at least she is getting like this is a very easily solved problem for a woman the the harder problem to solve is.
[38:00] Keith: Right? right.
[38:10] Mike: Um, is how do you do it and not feel bad about yourself afterward or do something that you regret.
[38:15] Keith: Yeah, she needs to court a boyfriend who she feels comfortable and excited to have sex with and I don't know why she's unable to do that. But I can speculate.
[38:24] Mike: Um, yeah, it's there. Well well what is your speculation. Are you going to guess some sort of genetic malady. Just she's unattractive and some yes.
[38:35] Keith: I Don't even want to say it. It just feels mean she's unattractive for some reason right.
[38:44] Mike: That's what I would guess too because most yeah, it's it's pretty unusual I mean unless like maybe if she was in prison. Maybe if she committed a felony at age eighteen and was in prison for a long time.
[38:54] Keith: Oh I don't know have you seen these tests where they create a tinder profile with like really hot pictures and then the profile just says the worst possible things you know like I'm an alcoholic you know Anorexic neoservative.
[39:07] Mike: Um I have not I Why is that bad. Okay.
[39:13] Keith: And ok Neo -nazi and I you know have had 7 abortions and you know that they'll just like say like whatever they'll like like red flag after red flag after red flag and then show the inbox so they'll be nine Nine Nine plus you know, inbound likes it just men don't care.
[39:31] Mike: Yeah, that's right, do you what do you I've I've thought this before so I sometimes will watch videos of people. There's some good videos on Youtube of men right about being when they're when they're convicted and taken away they're they're being put in prison they're that's it. They're going to prison for a long time.
[39:47] Keith: Okay.
[39:50] Mike: What percentage of the upsetedness that they have let's say that there's a early 20 s man who's been convicted for light with life without parole what percentage of their upettedness. Do you think is around like sex. The fact that that's it they're they're now like the only way to get sex for them if it's even possible at all is for them to find some sort of weird woman who like.
[39:58] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[40:10] Mike: Writes letters to them and then they get a conjugal visit and even that I'm not sure if they can do that.
[40:12] Keith: Are there services in other countries like I know the Netherlands has a framework so that handicapped people can have a sex worker and it's paid for by. It's so it's a social.
[40:24] Mike: I mean I'm positive that doesn't exist that doesn't exist in prisons in America I'm positive of that.
[40:29] Keith: I know it doesn't exist in prisons and in the US officially is there an unofficial way.
[40:34] Mike: I Don't know how it would work I mean it would have to be a guard.
[40:40] Keith: No, you could set up a ah fake conjugal visit.
[40:42] Mike: Oh so like a prostitute marries you and then does a conjugal visit I've never heard of such a thing So I'm skeptical I it always? yeah, it always surprises me that there's no mention of this like.
[40:45] Keith: Yeah I haven't either but you could imagine that being very lucrative because people could be quite desperate and what else are they going to spend their money on if they're in jail.
[41:00] Keith: Um, yeah.
[41:00] Mike: I mean sure having your liberty taken away. But as a man especially say like a guy in his early 20 s like this is one of the worst parts of this right is like you're now condemned to like furtively beating off when your cellie isn't there. Whatever I don't even know what they do I mean they must do something.
[41:13] Keith: I would expect I would expect the negative impact of this to wane pretty quickly but maybe not I don't know I'm trying to think back on like my teenage years and definitely it was pretty awful like not be able to like reliably find sex was terrible.
[41:18] Mike: Really.
[41:25] Mike: Um I think be awful.
[41:30] Mike: I Think you could but but you have the like hope or like there were there was a procedure.
[41:33] Keith: It was the hope but that's what I'm wondering I'm wondering if it was the hope that made it particularly terrible. It was like the hope and constant rejection. But in prison there's no hope.
[41:44] Mike: I think that would be really difficult because you're still you still have like I mean for starters I've never seen anybody really discuss I should look. There's probably a discussion on Reddit like how the beating off thing works in prison.
[41:55] Keith: I Don't know how that works either. Maybe people just beat off in their cots with their roommates in the room I don't know no, it's not that's not I mean I guess suppose you could get used to it. But.
[42:02] Mike: Um, that's not great I mean.
[42:10] Mike: It's pretty cruel right? I mean it's It's not ah yeah I mean I assume the female. Yeah I don't think so I mean obviously yeah, anything could be pornography if you kind of tortured enough.
[42:13] Keith: Well then do they have a do they have access to pornography geez.
[42:26] Mike: You know? So so you get a book and right right? if you have like a Tv you could beat off to like the ads or something you beat off to like episodes of Oprah.
[42:27] Keith: Banana Republic catalog. Yeah.
[42:35] Keith: I mean imagine getting out of prison like let's say you've been in prison for 30 years right so you you went in before the internet and you you come out and people will are like okay this is the internet this this is how you can find pornography. It would just seem. That would be pretty awesome. Actually.
[42:55] Mike: I'm not sure I think you'd be like that I'm not sure I think that would be really, it's hard. You're not going to have a normal life after that there's never a discussion of this though. There's never discussion. But I mean specifically on the on the sex axis like I think it it's going to Jack you up pretty badly.
[43:01] Keith: After being in prison for 30 years I agree
[43:11] Mike: Women on the other hand I suspect it can be more normal. In fact I saw ah something about women's prisons and it was probably on Tiktok and they were talking about how ah in this particular federal prison I believe the the women had a pretty short amount of time to shower and they they made the curtains in the shower. Room they did have curtains but they made it so that you could see the legs of whoever was in there so you could yeah you could make they could make sure there weren't 2 women in there so they're they're very careful about making sure you're not pleaasuring each other which I would think you know I mean I'm sure this happens in men men's prisons too. But I'm sure is I would guess it's more common than in women's prisons.
[43:33] Keith: The silhouette or something. Okay.
[43:49] Mike: But like a lot of them just go Lesbian because why not I mean yeah, that makes sense to me.
[43:51] Keith: Well, it only makes sense if you have access to a time when you can actually engage physically Yeah, but it would have to be your cellmate. Do you choose your cellmate I don't think so either.
[43:56] Mike: If you have a cellmate if you have a cellmate I mean no I don't think so but you know beggars can't be choosers leave they have somebody for men. It's just brutal.
[44:09] Keith: Oh yeah, okay, don't commit crimes or don't commit crimes and get caught.
[44:17] Mike: I wonder if Elizabeth Liz Holmes and her cellmate will get it on.
[44:22] Keith: I was looking at this New York Times article you mentioned the picture of her is more compelling than any picture I've ever seen of her.
[44:30] Mike: Um, she's yeah, she's working it? Yeah, ah.
[44:34] Keith: I'm still not still not that excited about her I don't you know I think a big part of the narrative about her was that she was an attractive woman but I never really thought she was an attractive woman I think she's less unattractive now.
[44:44] Mike: Um, so she's she she's she's married to or whatever engage I'm not sure what her status is with this guy whose parents have a hotel chain and or whatever own hotels in San Diego I think they're wealthy although the claim is that none of that money has been. They might not be married because there might be financial entanglements there.
[45:00] Keith: I can imagine sheer sub liabilities.
[45:01] Mike: And she is a criminal ah but it's a fair point but a friend was asking a little well you know what? why would he do that and I don't know like I think that ah there is something like kind of I think that having sex with Liz Holmes would be kind of interesting like I mean she like she is a strange person.
[45:19] Keith: Yes I think it would be intellectually interesting I think it would be physically sort of um yeah.
[45:22] Mike: That's right. Okay, you're not attracted to or fine. But ah I'm attracted a little bit to the ah to something I'm not sure why I think this is a common thing for men to be attracted to a woman with kind of a strange personality or whatever I think men often are it's like there's something. Men want to go find somebody who's a little nutty. No. Oh yeah, for sure when Hillary like and say I remember in 9092 when Bill Clinton was running famously when they had that I guess it was 60 minutes interview where you know that.
[45:41] Keith: Can you get there with Hillary Clinton or a younger Hillary Clinton anyway
[45:58] Mike: Whatever they lied he lied about Jennifer flowers and all that kind of stuff. Ah, Bill Clintonn definitely has some problems in the sex department. Ah, he's not totally upfront about or whatever society hasn't reckoned with anyway back then I thought Hillary was pretty attractive. Yeah I remember being like oh she's good I mean.
[45:59] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[46:13] Keith: Um, ah, okay, okay, you're consistent here.
[46:17] Mike: Remember like you have to remember like ah the the ah the first lady at the time was Barbara Bush so she's she was pretty old. Yeah, and Nancy Reagan wasn't my cup of tea either. So like I'd never really seen a potential first lady that was like remotely attractive so it helped. Yeah.
[46:21] Keith: The bar was low right? right? right? right.
[46:32] Keith: Right? right? All right? So back to this virgin thing. Go ahead.
[46:38] Mike: And also also hang on Hillary Clinton also ah Hillary Clinton also is very like I don't I don't politically although I actually I don't like her for various reasons and I I find her persona annoying. However, she's very smart so that's compelling like I'd be interesting I'm sure she'd be a very.
[46:53] Keith: Um, she's smart and she's sort of conniving in ways that I think you would admire? yeah.
[46:54] Mike: Intriguing person to hang out with and talk to that's right? Yeah, that's right? So I do I do admire her in those ways like there's some things I don't like about her but like in general like I give her credit like she's said you know and she's she's not an idiot. Yeah.
[47:03] Keith: Yeah, right? Yeah okay I agree all right? So this virgin thing I don't think I would feel great about being a 28 year old woman's first.
[47:19] Mike: I Would love it.
[47:22] Keith: There's some pressure afterward Mike although you you might be impervious to it. But yeah, they're going to fall for you.
[47:29] Mike: Um, you just give her a bus pass. Yeah.
[47:30] Keith: Make sure she can get home safe? Yeah yeah I would feel badly about I would I'd want to make sure that like I'm really all in on this person before I'm willing to have sex with them or I mean yeah.
[47:43] Mike: Um, oh yeah I guess.
[47:48] Keith: Yeah I mean I guess my advice for her might be to say I really want to have sex and I don't care if you ghost me after and if she said that then I might be like oh okay, well now maybe but short of that I don't want to There's some sort of like implied heavier responsibility. By being someone's first.
[48:09] Mike: I Don't think okay I hear you I don't I think this is your like social sensitivity coming to the fore here I Think the reason why this guy wasn't interested is just because he figured like there's something wrong with her like this is just like this is too weird. This is gonna be whereas like I would be I be a little bit attracted to that like oh let me because basically I mean that means.
[48:22] Keith: It could be.
[48:29] Mike: Depending on how naive she is like I remember I think 3 times in my life ah being in various sexual encounters. Not all of them pi v with somebody was a virgin and I wish I I wish one of my regrets is that I didn't like in those time periods because at least 2 of them were really naive and I wish I had like.
[48:37] Keith: Yeah.
[48:47] Keith: Um, yeah.
[48:49] Mike: Told them something false about sex and like led them. You know I mean you I could have set up I could have I was it was a total tabbulo Rasa situation I could like you like look ah this is what everyone does and just come up with something you know and I didn't do that and I would have I would have enjoyed that.
[49:00] Keith: Right? Yeah, people people have sex perpendicular to each other. It's always like this.
[49:09] Mike: I'm not sure I mean is there? What is there a thing that you would if let's say you had a woman that had no Pre-judgments is there some behavior or action that you would exploratory you would for sure tell them that like guys in general don't like blows.
[49:14] Keith: I don't I don't have his like I don't have the right kind of mind to think about this? yeah I don't I can't think of anything now.
[49:26] Mike: Which why would you do that. But okay, you would um.
[49:27] Keith: I Don't think I would tell them that now I'm not interested in gaslighting my partners generally I don't I don't gain much from that.
[49:33] Mike: Okay, fair, it's It's a way to get more of diverse experiences right by like yeah.
[49:43] Keith: You're probably right? Yeah, okay this person says am I becoming an nymphomaniac I 29 year old female and obsessed with my husband 32 year old male I don't know if it matters but we've been together for almost twelve years and married for ten months. It's an odd amount of time to be together. But.
[49:59] Mike: Um, yes I thought it was gonna be 10 years
[50:00] Keith: Okay, yeah, yeah, so did I before you stop reading hear me out. But I'm worried that I have a problem I was recently diagnosed with Adhd and on stimulates for the first time. What's a stimulant.
[50:10] Mike: There we go? Well it's it's it's amphetamines. It's speed. It's ritalins a stimulant right? It's like I mean yeah yeah, so it's it's there's this paradoxical thing where they give you stimulants for a DHD and the idea is that it's.
[50:16] Keith: I didn't know that I I would think that for ad Hd you would want to be like unstimulated.
[50:28] Mike: The the idea this is what I've read because anybody who has kids these days has to know something about this. Yes, my kids are not on anything. Ah and it is actually I mean they probably could be I Just don't I think right? I actually I actually am a.
[50:31] Keith: Yeah, it goes through the the Ritalin adderall.
[50:39] Keith: Oh you can get a diagnosis with the drop of a hat.
[50:46] Mike: In most cases I think it's overprescribed. Whatever Ah, but ah, the idea is that it that if you think of your brain as having different regions or whatever the stimulant um up up regulates the part. That can control what's going on more than it upregulates kind of the hyperactive active part if that makes sense so it actually increases your ability to control yourself and I think there is there is evidence behind that I mean it does actually improve people's ability to focus and so forth. The downsides are it's Addictive. It changes your personality.
[51:05] Keith: I see.
[51:17] Mike: It doesn't you don't learn coping strategies that maybe I mean look a hundred years ago. Nobody had this. So maybe people should just get out and do some exercise but anyway okay so she this is obviously why this happened she started taking some like really profoundly mentally active truck. Okay.
[51:21] Keith: Right.
[51:34] Keith: Right? Ah I mean that we're almost done here. Desires have been increasing since then I went nothing or no one else just him unless I'm hyper focused on something else I can't think about anything else but him inside of me I think there are some other things that like control.
[51:37] Mike: Now.
[51:43] Mike: Um, that's normal.
[51:50] Keith: Female sex drive. There's ah depending I I think there are different hormones based on the time of the month I think women might be hornier when they're ovulating I think I think various birth controls can affect sex drive various antidepressants can affect so sex drive.
[51:52] Mike: Um, her age for sure. Yes.
[52:08] Mike: For sure.
[52:10] Keith: Um, maybe physical like if you're overweight or underweight you might have lower sex drive I think age you mentioned? yeah I think maybe as women approach their thirty s if they haven't had children yet. They might.
[52:16] Mike: Sure I think all that's right, you know.
[52:28] Keith: Find themselves. There might be some sort of biological clock.
[52:29] Mike: Could also just be conscious I mean she's aware of what of her timeline and so she might consciously be sort of upregulating it. But I think look the the most likely thing here is that she started taking speed. It's like. I started taking speed and now I'm horny all the time. It's like okay well it's probably the speed. Yeah yeah.
[52:47] Keith: Right? Yeah yeah, what? what can it possibly be have you noticed big swings in your sex drive like acute changes.
[53:02] Mike: The only time I ever noticed one was because was like this was ten years ago I had ah I had like ah a doctor do like one of those blood panels on me and he told me I had low testosterone so he gave me this like cream that you put on your you put in your underarm or something that gave you testosterone.
[53:13] Keith: A half. Ah.
[53:20] Mike: That yes that yes if you give someone testosterone their sex drive goes up but I didn't use like much of it because I was like this is not This is just odd I don't think it was ah yeah, it was that was basically the only ah maybe it would have made me like a better athlete.
[53:28] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[53:39] Mike: I Could imagine it doing that too. But like the main thing I noticed was sex drive Other than that um no I haven't noticed anything that ah substantially altered in.
[53:45] Keith: I heard an interview with Andrew Sullivan about heat. That's testosterone once a month or something or he used to and he would talk at length about how for the day or so after that he would have to be really careful like what emails he sent and.
[53:56] Mike: Um, okay.
[54:05] Keith: Like he could just feel like more animalistic rage and sex drive which makes sense makes sense I don't know why it fades after that first day or maybe it's just most profound during that first day and then the rest of the month you're sort of normal.
[54:09] Mike: Um, yeah.
[54:18] Mike: Yeah, and 1 wonders what the point even if taking it is then if if the impacts seem to fade like that.
[54:24] Keith: I Could imagine for folks with low T having yeah being bummed out that they don't have some of the drives that men with higher T have and so there could be some benefit to it. But yeah, a lot of the. Effects seem sort of negative honestly like I have plenty of sex drive as it is I don't want more I don't want to be I had it checked a number of years ago and it was normal at the time I don't know I haven't had it recently.
[54:44] Mike: Um, yeah, well have you had your testosterone checked.
[54:57] Mike: Okay, yeah I think that's right? Um, so yeah, that's something that can that can alter I'm sure there are other chemical substances that can alter it? Um, so this doesn't yeah it doesn't surprise me.
[54:57] Keith: I Think it does drop as you age. Um.
[55:12] Keith: Um, yeah, all right I think we have time for 1 more topic here I haven't we haven't done this one for a while sex while girlfriend is sleeping for context I work really late and get home after the gym at about 2 a m and she works early shifts. She's given me permission to have sex with her in her sleep as long as I don't wake her. And important kind of caveat at first it was difficult not to wake her but then I was able to control the tempo and keep her asleep. Albeit I'd be fucking her for close to an hour slowly we still have sex normally when we can but is this a same case for anyone else.
[55:47] Mike: signed signed Bill Cosby
[55:48] Keith: I was able to keep her asleep. Yeah that you might want to work out his word choice there. So this is already like preposterously unbelievable, but he does have some other ah data points here that are he says she somebody says.
[55:57] Mike: Um.
[56:07] Keith: Seriously how on Earth does she not wake and he says she used to always wake up then I started going really slowly and used Lube. Ah, this person says she she is one heavy sleeper. He says I have to go very slowly and if I go deep while she's laying on her stomach.
[56:13] Mike: This is getting creepy.
[56:24] Keith: She typically wakes up for some reason I literally have to ease into it for the longest time now that there's a number of things to ah to go over here. Um.
[56:28] Mike: For some reason.
[56:40] Keith: Oh 1 more thing. Yeah I sometimes worry that she's doing it to please me. She brought it up randomly one day and said you can have sex with me while I'm sleeping whenever you feel like it just don't wake me I don't know if it's a kink or what so this just don't wake me thing was sort of a flag for me all right. Let's there's there's a couple different directions. We could go with this conversation in in our little remaining time but 1 is is it possible. She's not waking up and like an hour that seems crazy so we could go that way or. Obviously she's waking up. Why is she pretending. She's not so I think we can choose one of those forks.
[57:24] Mike: Um I was worried I'm I'm worried about I'm worried about the risk he's creating for her of Uti's because she then she's she's not peeing afterward.
[57:31] Keith: That is a third direction. We can go she she definitely doesn't want to be woken up. So maybe he's using a condom. Maybe he's assiduously cleaning his penis before and then nutting outside of her I don't know.
[57:39] Mike: I think.
[57:46] Mike: Ok, but I I'm not sure that she has to be waking up I mean the I'm not sure how much someone would have to interact with my penis before I would wake up but it's not 0
[57:48] Keith: Ah, there ways to reduce the uti risk.
[57:56] Keith: Um, Mike.
[58:01] Keith: Um, not much I think it's it's I think it's basically anything more than 0
[58:08] Mike: I'm not sure about that I.
[58:08] Keith: Um, you should I don't know if there's an experiment you can run here but you should ask your wife like I Just don't think you'd have to like better or something. But so that she has like um.
[58:21] Mike: There's also I mean there's also levels of waking up right? I mean there's there's kind of you know there's like whether she's expected to be caught to do cut do things consciously. So maybe what happens is she she sort of Groggily like knows what's going on but she can.
[58:36] Keith: And fall back asleep while someone's sliding in and out of her I was going to say pumping but he says he'd go slowly good it. It has the implication of faster.
[58:37] Mike: Kind of ignored I mean it's It's actually interesting like as yeah, it doesn't Well I mean you could well pumping could be slow but you ah I mean people fall Asleep. You could fall asleep with someone caressing your arm or your head or. Rocking you back and forth or something. It's not impossible and so maybe the deal is yeah yeah, she doesn't she just wants to not interrupt her sleep cycle doesn't want to have to basically participate and it's and this is actually a thing. It's an interesting topic because it's a thing that a man can't really.
[58:58] Keith: Um, like falling asleep during a massage or something.
[59:15] Mike: Have happen in his life I mean something involving your butthole would probably be too aggressive to not be fully engaged in well wake up as you see what I'm saying I'm saying she let's say she wakes up but she's kind of just like she can just lie there and just fall back asleep and basically ignore it.
[59:21] Keith: Wake up? yep.
[59:31] Keith: I mean I've listened to enough sleep podcasts sleep hygiene podcasts to know that that already has broken your your cycles.
[59:40] Mike: Ok, but what if she just doesn't want to participate. Okay I've got an example, let's say that a dude. No let's say that you're hang. It's not pretending okay hang on. Let's say that your girlfriend says look Keith I'm I have a foot fetish she she she has a foot feish I think it's only men whoever have a foot fetish but whatever.
[59:44] Keith: Well if she's pretending. That's a different conversation.
[59:54] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[59:59] Mike: Have a foot fetish and what I want to do is when you want you to sleep without your socks on and I'm going to just go down to the end of the bed and rub my clit against your big toe and you can just you can just lie there. You don't have to like pay pay attention at all.
[01:00:11] Keith: I think I think that would have material risk of me kicking her in the vagina. Accidentally.
[01:00:13] Mike: So you might wake up but you're just like oh she's doing that thing and you might fall back asleep.
[01:00:22] Mike: Um, let's say that wasn't a risk. Let's say it was you fine. She has a she has a shoulder I'm just trying to come up with some body part that she can interact with I think it's sort of like that that this is what this is part of the female condition is that like they don't actually have to do anything. They can actually just not pay attention I mean.
[01:00:28] Keith: She's well fine, Fine fine. Yeah now I I understand that the thought exercise here.
[01:00:41] Mike: You have that a subreddit called bored and ignored like that is actually possible for them to do And yeah I mean I think that's what I think that that's what she's going for here is that she doesn't want to have to consciously participate.
[01:00:44] Keith: Um, yeah.
[01:00:55] Keith: Okay.
[01:00:57] Mike: Doesn't want to have the obligation to like sort of moan and lie in kind of rocker hips and all this crap.
[01:01:01] Keith: I Guess I'm having problems I would hate to have my sleep interrupted with any kind of regularity like if that was someone's kink. Ah.
[01:01:08] Mike: Maybe she's one of these people. Maybe she's one of these people that doesn't like him when she he masturbates she's like look I'd rather you do this and watch porn. It's still going to be some kind of a it's still a compromise. Yeah, it's not. It's not great because she's.
[01:01:14] Keith: Yeah, she feels like she's servicing him somehow. Yeah.
[01:01:23] Mike: She's coming up with of course given her druthers she would choose not to do this I Assume you know.
[01:01:27] Keith: I Mean there's something called Salmonopphilia which is refers to a sexual interest and engaging in sexual activity with a sleeping person.
[01:01:36] Mike: Yeah.
[01:01:41] Keith: I Just yeah, that feels like a weird fetish feels like sleeping or unconscious like what it. What is it that you want there.
[01:01:50] Mike: I think it would be I mean I find the experience kind of interesting in the sense that I it must be interesting to be able to have that done to you and just basically not participate. That's not a thing that's really available to men. Not not really I mean I can come up with it's it's hard to come with an example where a woman I guess yeah, it's really hard to come I mean yeah I was going to. My First example was going to be something like you're a gay guy and your partner wants to like jerk off onto your hand or something or like on your back.
[01:02:08] Keith: That's true.
[01:02:19] Keith: Yeah, yeah, the problem with a penis is that it is used to sort of violently penetrate an orifice. You know we can discuss what the word violent means but you know in its purest form. It's.
[01:02:37] Mike: Well I don't know it doesn't have to be I mean I I could imagine a woman basically I could imagine a couple having a situation where basically you know the guy likes the woman's breasts and he likes to beat off while looking at them and nut all over them and then clean it up So she's like yeah like I'm just going to go to sleep and you can do that and I don't care.
[01:02:38] Keith: Yeah, like with.
[01:02:53] Keith: Yeah, that at least seems inside the room of possibility to me.
[01:02:57] Mike: This does too I don't know I Just don't think I think I think there's like a male gaze thing here. It's like hard for you to envision what it would be like to be able to have this done to you and just not and just sort of ignore it and I think that's possible for a woman in a way that's hard for a man to understand not that I know I don't.
[01:03:09] Keith: Um, yeah.
[01:03:14] Mike: I Just it just makes sense to me that that could be possible.
[01:03:15] Keith: Yeah, okay, all right, we're well over an hour here. You have anything else. You want to add all right? So that's a wrap on this episode of your mileage may vary. You can email us at YMMv poditch gmail.com and if you send us feedback there we will send you $10 for your insights.
[01:03:23] Mike: That's it.
[01:03:35] Keith: We prefer negative feedback since that's more actionable actionable. But if your feedback is that I talk too much. Could you elaborate on that please and let us know how you'd like to be paid so Paypal. Ah venmo cash up. Whatever ah you can also ask us questions there. And unless you let us know we might answer it on-a. But if you don't want it answered on air just say so when we won't thanks for your time and we look forward to catching you next time on your mileage may vary.

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Episode 120: "Good Girls", Nymphos, Tinder Scams, Prison Masturbation, Submissive Men

Episode Transcript