Your Mileage May Vary: Are Women Superior To Men? An Interview With Dr. Ricky Arenson

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:01] Mike: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary I'm your host Mike Today Keith is still in cyprus I believe somewhere in Europe but I have a guest on ah that we're going to talk with a bit and about sex and relationships. Ah, it's Dr. Ricky Aonson who has written a book and has a podcast about ah sex and relationships. But I will let Dr Ricky introduce himself for the podcast ricky. Are you here.
[00:28] Ricky: Thanks Mike thanks so much for having me. Yes, hello I'm I'm in Australia living in Perth. Um I'm an endocrinologist which is a hormone specialist. We deal with glands hormones diabetes but also sex hormones like testosterone and estrogen I'm also head of. Ah, tertiary public hospital geriatric department. So I also have a specialty in geriatric medicineds which is looking after elderly people. So I've had a lot of experience with ah elderly and younger relationships and dealing with with that in my in the professional space. But I guess my my real um relationship experience. In many ways has come from um, ascending in medical leadership and becoming a director of a hospital and running a huge department and learning a lot about how to manage relationships better and that really excited me and I got more and more interested using that in some way that was fun and interesting for. General relationships.
[01:25] Mike: That's great and ah and I know you have a book you've written. Do you want to talk about that briefly.
[01:31] Ricky: Ah, thank you? Well I wrote a book called women are superior to men. Um, which is perhaps a little misleading in the title because it's really more about the fact that in most marriages men and women are different. They're often if you speak to couples. They have the same kinds of fights about sex about children about Housework. And often the may male female differences affect relationships in in specific ways and so I wanted to have a bit of fun with that if something that always fascinated me when I got married that all our friends who were getting Married. We're having the same fights as we were same ah male issues the same female issues and and that. Really interested me because we like to think we're so unique and then you find that other people are having exactly the same problems that you are the same same arguments and I guess what I wanted to do was bring something positive and fun into the space because there's just so much negativity about sexuality and gender and I think a lot of confusion about what's healthy. What's normal. And there's almost um, negative propaganda about marriage and men and women and for myself I'm very lucky I've got a wonderful wife of 20 years. Ah, you know I was lucky enough to have a wonderful mother I think so many people do so I wanted to celebrate that in the book I wanted to bring some of my experience in managing. Relationships and my understanding about the dynamics of relationships and how they work and and I had a lot of fun with the fact that I laughed at my own male inadequacies and the things that my wife finds irritating about me and I sympathized a lot with wives in the book and.
[03:02] Ricky: But they might find irritating about their husbands so it was really just having a lot of fun and it's It's been a really interesting experience going through that. It's very different to medicine.
[03:09] Mike: Sure and we'll ah we will include ah links to Dr Ricky's podcast and book in the show notes. So people can check that out. Um, if interested. Um, so i. So yeah I didn't realize actually that you were ah. An endocrinologist I have a couple questions I'd like to ask you about that now I'm mindful I don't want to ask questions that reveal a complete lack of knowledge on my part because before the show we were talking about how when a non-doctor talks to a doctor. They sometimes reveal a complete lack of knowledge and that's sort of silly.
[03:45] Ricky: No, no, not not ah, not at all actually on the contrary I was actually talking about doctors who asked questions and lectures that were medically unsound but I don't expect any of my patients or you yes that was that was what was difficult. Um I don't expect members of the public to know anything about medicine and.
[03:47] Mike: Um, but.
[03:56] Mike: Ah, they were doctors. Oh okay.
[04:04] Ricky: I Mean that's really my job is it to explain things and teach them and help them So so fire away.
[04:09] Mike: Ok, so I you have a couple questions. Sure Ok Ah so is the is this This is probably it and maybe this is something that were the answers not actually known but is the ah the thing that triggers an Orgasm. Ah. Essentially hormonal. Is it a hormone that's released or is it some combination of other factors.
[04:30] Ricky: Okay, so that's that's a brilliant question. Actually it's it isn't quite like ah that there's there's more than 1 factor at play. So. The first thing is that you actually have your autonomic nervous system which is highly involved in triggering the neurological cascade of an of an orgasm. But when you have an orgasm that triggers release of certain hormones that make you feel relaxed and happy and I think one of the complaints many wives is how easy their husbands go to sleep afterwards which apparently for women isn't quite as easy but you get wellness hormones that are released and make you feel nice. So most people after an orgasm feel. Quite relaxed and calm and good for a few minutes and that is a hormonal issue but the actual trigger of the orgasm itself is not hormonal. it's it's neurological what is this stuff.
[05:16] Mike: I think I Okay I'm probably probably the trigger of any release of hormones is neurological though. Maybe that's an oversimplification.
[05:27] Ricky: Correct but hormones themselves don't are not the cause of an orgasm as such so you don't have like a rise in your testosterone levels or estrogen levels or something like that. So It isn't to a hormonal trigger as such. It's ah it's a sensory experience and so that is very much. Around your neurological system and then um, when you actually have an orgasm so you release hormones that make you feel good. It's really quite magical.
[05:51] Mike: Okay, so yeah and you mentioned right? You're saying make you feel good So I would just I would just draw a subjective different distinction between the you know the feeling during the orgasm and the feeling that you have subsequent to it and you talked about the. Subsequent experience as like for a man it would make you feel happy and and tired and that sort of thing and maybe different for a woman. How about the actual feeling during the orgasm is that caused by ah, a different hormone the same hormone. Maybe that's not known I don't know.
[06:25] Ricky: Now That's no, That's a neurological experience So That's your you know that's a stimulation of certain nerves and and certain um triggers that lead to various things contracting and moving and and it's It's a neurological experience. But then sensation in life is essentially a neurological experience generally so any pleasure or pain sensation is is generated by your neurology. It's influenced by offered by mood and hormones. But the essential of it is that Ah, a sensory experience is neurological.
[07:00] Mike: Okay, um, and so yeah I mean longtime listeners the podcast probably know where I'm going with this but I will ask you then? So does that mean that? Ah, so to the extent that it was hormonal. There's a hormonal element to the experience. Then one might say something like look There's only a limited supply of hormones in your body which would limit the duration or number of times that you could orgasm duration of an orgasm number of times you go to orgasm are you are you suggesting then that that. There there is no such limit for the sort of intense pleasurable part of an orgasm in ah, in other words, a person should not be suspicious of somebody who says look I've orgasmed 50 times in 2 hours because that because that since it's neurological that could happen.
[07:44] Ricky: I Think you're different I think I think you should be suspicious of such a person but for different reasons I don't how how how possible that is. But yeah, look um, women have a different a slightly different pathway so they are more capable of having. Ah, multiple orgasms. Not all women are but some women are men. It's much more difficult because there's a certain ah process that they need to guide it to get another erection basically and to be ready for sex again. Most of that again is not particularly hormonally mediated. But um.
[08:20] Ricky: You know people who have higher testosterone levels many who have higher testosterone levels are more likely to have higher 6 drives and many who have low abnormally low 6 of testosterone levels are going to have lower 6 drives so manwi so there's some hormonal component in that a man who's got low testosterone levels generally has lower libido and. You know one orgasm is probably going to be more than enough for them in in some cases they may not even be interested in that. But the overall issues around multiple orgasms are again to do with the sympathetic and para sympathetic nervous systems not to do with with hormones as such.
[08:52] Mike: All right? So in principle then you would say that and I realize yeah there are reasons there are many reasons to be suspicious of such a person claiming. Although we've had people make claims like this some some some very sort of extreme claims about.
[09:05] Ricky: Sounds sounds very exhausting actually.
[09:09] Mike: Yeah I agree I agree there's there's there're various reasons to be suspicious, but ah from your perspective The the only and the the reason why I bring this up is because the only other sort of analog here. Analogy here would be to somebody like using a drug right? You would need to use a drug ah to to. Ah, for that long of a duration have have sort of such a pleasurable experience or and so and so ah, it seems suspicious that a person's body would be able to regenerate repeatedly such a such. A.
[09:48] Mike: Ah, pleasurable high Although to be fair Well I don't know I was going to say a person can be in pain for a long period of time. So maybe there's no reason to suspect that pleasure couldn't last that long and I think that's what you're saying like it be given that it's a neurological phenomenon that alone is not a reason to be suspicious.
[10:02] Ricky: But remember for men but remember there is there is a reason for a physiological difference in that that is that for men. Um orgasm does actually involve the release of semen and there's a certain physical requirement for that and to sort of. Load up the barrels again and you know reload the gun you actually are genuinely loading up. You know so it it involves seminal fluid from your prostate. It involves actual semen. So for men there is something more physical that is required that just the. Release of the neurological orgasm so you can understand why for men this the reloading of the gun can be a bit more complicated than for women where rarely if down a certain sexual hide is possible for some of them to have more than 1 orgasm in that situation.
[10:53] Mike: sure sure yeah no that that definitely makes sense and comports I think with most people's ah experience with some women at least that that that there are there is something that goes on there that doesn't seem as possible or perhaps possible at all for men. Um a second question about. Ah, relating to hormones and you you stepped into it just there I mean I'm mean I'm in the United States which might have a somewhat different culture around this although I detected some content in your podcast. They suggested you were a little nervous at least about um, stereotyping or something like that. Do you ever fall into the trap of somebody getting upset because you suggest that a man is a person who releases semen meaning like and and and I bring this up I bring this up also in terms of like your your experience with hormones might mean that you've had you've been exposed to the sort of transgender debate and.
[11:37] Ricky: Um, ah yeah.
[11:45] Mike: Ah, hormone blockers and the like but I'm just curious how that how that whole debate operates for you as a doctor in Australia.
[11:51] Ricky: Yeah, look. It's it's a very difficult issue. It's one that I am very concerned about because it appears to me that medical boards and medical associations around the world are playing politics rather than science. And I think that when you have doctors declaring that biology doesn't exist and that they have no regard for biology. That's a very problematic stance for medical experts to take because really, we're there to treat patients and and that's based on on biology and science and we have. Normal levels for men in normal levels for women and you know when were when we're seeing patients. It's incredibly relevant whether someone has x y chromosomes or x x chromosomes in in ah in an enormous number of different. Um ah ah contexts and and in terms of diagnosis and all sorts of things that that that affects. So yes, Australia is going the same way as the states we are definitely not as divided in the sense that America is having this sort of brutal cultural war between what I would say call work and conservative I don't know you might call it something different I think it's it's it's it's a fascinating issue. Obviously I as actually.
[12:58] Mike: Sure.
[13:03] Ricky: I'm right at the heart of this in many ways because I am a very outspokenly politically incorrect person and know I'm not at all afraid of of stereotypes. In fact I disputed my podcast that many stereotypes are negative at all I think that there are many things about men and women that are part of an innate beautiful design. To attract us to each other to make our relationships work and for very specific genetic evolutionary purposes because there's no pretending that you know we're designed to survive and for that to Happen. We have to find each other sexually attractive men and women and we have to. Succeed in reproduction which involves a X y chromosome male fertil like fertilising an X y chromosomal female and until very recently that had to be through an act of of sex and so I don't have a problem with these things I think one of the the difficulties of this debate. Is there so much propaganda that has become accepted. For example, you don't have to call something normal to accept it. You don't to be tolerant doesn't mean that we all have to be the same.. In fact, tolerance is all about tolerating people are different I don't have to tolerate people the same as me because they're the same as me, there's nothing to tolerate. So It's actually this idea that we all have to be the same and say the same thing to tolerate each other is actually a perversion of what tolerance actually is so from my point of view saying that most marriages deal with certain male female differences doesn't prejudice against people who are different so there are some men who like arranging flowers and.
[14:33] Ricky: Wearing pink ribbons and they hair fantastic. There's some women who want to lift weights and armoristsal trackes great. But that's not the case in most marriages and I don't think that we should be embarrassed to talk about what the average marriage faces because you know there there's not just millions. There are billions of people out there who are married and you know we want them to be happy. And it's got nothing to do and I think the analogy our draws very supports this if I write a book about how to play golf better I'm not doing that to say that I dislike tennis players or think that they are. There's something wrong with them. But it doesn't stop me writing a book to help golfers play better golf and so I'm not embarrassed. To promote positive heterosexual relationships and what's important about that I am very concerned though that this this war this cultural war has started to corrupt what we understand is democratic principles because there is I could give you a long speech about this I won't but this. There's a lot of simple democratic principles that we have held dear in western demoxracies for a long time that have built the civilization that has given us wonderful lives and those principles are being severely compromised by what is now called progressive politics but I actually think it's regressive politics because it's about. Removing freedom of speech. It's actually against women's rights and it's against democracy which is really about equality and fairness 1 person 1 vote those are the things we are losing in the name of certain political agendas and I'm very troubled by that because I think those principles should be compromised. So yeah, yeah, you know you.
[16:07] Ricky: I'm I'm very much in the space and and the sad thing is I have to be very careful. What I say because I want to keep my job So some things that I know to be true I Just can't say and that's I think the situation many people are in around the world.
[16:11] Mike: Sure.
[16:17] Mike: Yeah, I'm very yeah I I tend to be toward your side of the spectrum. So I'm not sure we would differ much there, but the ah um, the specific thing that you mentioned about ah feminism is something that I've spoken to some women about and it is true that there's a ah. An aspect of this which is essentially men usurping ah women's women's roles in certain ways and kind of like second classing women by basically either becoming women where you have like the the case with the very famous cases here with with men who ah.
[16:58] Mike: Transition and then start competing in sports um or kind of invade their spaces and they're they're kind of their reality in those kinds of ways that basically make it so you can't Ah, there's no way that there's no way to talk kind of in general terms about men and women and and learn about. How we are different because because you're not supposed to talk about people people in generalities at all. Um I'm curious if you ah, go ahead. Yeah, right.
[17:25] Ricky: But yeah, um, if if I can just interject there I mean I find I find that is also a very sad piece of propaganda because human beings by nature are designed to look to understand generalities. It's how we understand the world. We audit everything around us you know we have. Scientific tables and you know in medicine things are categorized in our lives we we recognize patterns in the way people behave and the way that they think and move when you're socializing you are observing. You're using pattern recognition and generalities to observe the people around you you know this is generally how someone behaves when they're. Angry or upset or shy and and everything we do in life is about observing patterns. Pattern recognition is required for survival. So even if you're you're out hunting you need to recognize if a sounds different if a movement's different and you see even dogs are very interesting. They often if someone's limping on the field. They'll take notice. They're like. Look at that person like wow that's a pattern. It's a different pattern so we're we're designed for pattern recognition and to make that into something negative against people is just um to me. It's just insanity to be honest I think it's just perverting reality. There is a reality out there and. I mean I'm amazed when I watch videos of american women saying that men are not stronger than women. I mean if you go look at the track times you can look at the swimming types. You can look at the weightlifting you know I go to gym not'm not the biggest guy but there's very I very seldom encountered women in Germany who lift heavyier weights than me now there are some in the world. Sure.
[18:43] Mike: Sure.
[18:54] Ricky: But by in the average marriage. The man is physically stronger than his wife. That's the way we designed it women have amazing qualities often that men don't have so I think it's It's sad that we feel the need to deny reality in the name of politics and political ideology I'm I very troubled by that.
[19:12] Mike: Sure yeah, and also it's ah ironically I think for folks that ah support or claim to support science I think it's actually anti the scientific method because the point of the scientific method ultimately is to as you said I mean. The same idea to to recognize and identify patterns and so just because something may not be 1 true 100% of the time you can say this is true 95% of the time and that's an important pattern to be aware of. But if you start saying look everybody's a snowflake and you know a unique snowflake and totally different then that's pretty anti-science you can't. Talk generally and we we run into that somewhat frequently with comments and feedback we get from our podcast because we will say things we try to sort of you know, notate during the podcast that we're we're saying in general this is how it is and obviously there are exceptions but people still get upset because. They don't want any any generalities to be brought up and it's like well then there's nothing to talk about There's no there's no conversation possible because.
[20:08] Ricky: Yeah, we I mean that's right I mean I mean with the way we use Language is generality as well isn't I mean the words we use aren't actually very precise. They all everything we do is about generality. But so I agree with you and I think one of the saddest things that's happened in the world with these issues has been.
[20:14] Mike: Right.
[20:25] Ricky: That we used to understand that coming together was actually about coming together. You know, but you bring people together by bringing them together now with Alls Identity Politics What we're doing is pulling everyone apart and we looking for reasons to fight. You know you're not using the right language because from my point of view and from your point of view. Probably if you want to.
[20:29] Mike: Sure.
[20:44] Ricky: If you don't like generalities don't use them I don't have a problem with that if you want to say men and women are the same if that's relevant in your life to go for it. But for me, that's not the reality that I see and so tolerance actually should go both ways and that's what we not see. We have the sort of 1 way of looking at things and if you don't look at things that way you're a bad person.
[20:52] Mike: Right.
[21:04] Ricky: You know you were Transphob and a racist and a sexist but actually no, you might care deeply about other human beings all of them. But you have a different perspective a different way of looking at things. So I think that's one of the saddest things is that tolerance should go both ways. That's what tolerance actually is.
[21:18] Mike: Sure, um, 1 more thing on that this topic given that you have this this expertise that I'm curious to to and I think our listeners probably be curious to get more insight from ah so hormone blockers for children is a big. Fight and debate here in the United States there are certain states that are banning it as a practice for children who want to transition ah saying oh you, you should wait till the kid is an adult and so forth. Are there. Ah, irreversible. Ah or is it known whether they're irreversible. Ah, consequences of say like a a thirteen year old to 12 year old there're they're good kids in my my I have a kid in middle school and their kids there are their kids in the school who believe that they are the other gender and i'd. No reason to doubt their belief. But I mean they're just so young. It's hard to know if they but but maybe maybe they're maybe they know anyway, I'm just curious about in terms of the medical side of it is is is that are there irreversible or is it deeply problematic or is it the kind of thing where you say look you know, just try it out and see how you like it.
[22:23] Ricky: Look I'll I'll be honest and say that I'm a person who believes that the age of consent in medicine is actually therefore a good reason and the reason for that is that children and adolescents don't have the experience and perspective that adults often have they.
[22:25] Mike: I.
[22:41] Ricky: They make emotional decisions. They're not mature. They haven't had time to experience things and they are you know emotionally label by nature teenagers are very hormonal and emotional and we try and protect them from making decisions that may have lasting impact on their lives and it's not to oppose.
[22:51] Mike: Sure.
[23:00] Ricky: If they're tran wanting to be trance. It's more about the fact that you really want to be sure that someone that's making that decision is making it for the right reasons and it's going to be a decision that they don't regret 10 years down the line so in answer to your question most definitely puberty is there for a reason and there's a lot of issues around bone development and. Other issues that happen that if you block puberty or manipulate things with hormones. You do get different medical outcomes and I think depending on what you're doing the the greatest issue is that um sterility is for life and if you sterilize someone you know it used to be that it was that that we considered evil when people went sterilized. Kids for any reason so you really want to make sure if you're doing that that you're doing it for the right reasons because if someone looks back ten years later and decides hey a made a bad decision. They are stuck in ah in an awful medical situation and they may be sterile. So um. Again, it seems that this has become a political football but I go back to principles the principle of of the age of consent should be applied consistently and then so it doesn't matter whether it's for an appendi removal ah Appendix or whether it's for you know, blocking puberty these things. Um. You know there are many reasons that teenagers make rash decisions and we have to in some way also protect them from doing lasting damage to themselves and and the issue here is that there really isn't great medical evidence that guides these decisions so we've been a lot more cautious in other areas of medicine where we've really done.
[24:18] Mike: But.
[24:33] Ricky: First do no harm if we're not sure about the outcome of a treatment. We want to be very careful about giving it to people here. We have a situation where I think very driven by politics. We really don't have such a great idea about ah mental psychological and physical outcomes in the long term. Haven't been great studies long-term studies that tell us this treatment works better at this age in this specific specific circumstance but any doctor or psychologist who argues with whatever is the you know fashionable way of doing it at a hospital is is told that they're transphobic and and and threatened with being fired. So I think. That's not a way that we normally do the scientific method. It's not the way medicine normally writes it and I think with these things. It's not about compassion or tolerance because of course we care about all our patients whether they you know, male female or trance or whatever they are. We want them to get the best outcome but the question is. What will give them the best outcome in what circumstances and that needs a lot of study and a lot of careful analysis and you can't do that analysis if you have a political agenda that's highly aggressive and preventing reasonable discussion and so so all these things concern me greatly. Yes.
[25:43] Mike: Sure, ah, yeah, and of course the age of consent while important if you are in the areas as you live in the area around San Francisco as I do um sometimes that doesn't really matter because you have parents who ah perhaps ah even. Almost fetishize the notion that their own kid might be trans so. In other words, they would certainly consent f in their kids stead. Um I'm curious. Ah if you have an opinion or if there's any data on this of ah what percentage because trans is. I think trans is likely to be a thing. It's likely to be a I realize there are people who are intersex and born born different. Ah what what? but I might okay what percentage of of people. Do you think absent a political agenda would actually want to transition their gender is it like. Under I might my my thought is it's like 1 in 10000 or something like that. But I you but you I'm sure know much better than I do.
[26:45] Ricky: Well I don't know with these with this kind of data I don't really know where we're going to go with this because I think we're living in very different times now where you have you know schools around the world that are strongly promoting ah this ideology that non-binary is.
[26:57] Mike: Um, sure.
[27:02] Mike: Right.
[27:02] Ricky: Ah, fact and that trance is normal and and and so it's very difficult to know how that kind of cultural and educational shift will affect everyone. So as things start at the moment my understanding and it may not be the same for every country is that the average that's around 0.5% of the population being trance.
[27:18] Mike: Ok.
[27:20] Ricky: That's the that's the data that I've come across which is 1 in 1 in 200 people there I don't think that that's a fact I don't think that's yeah I don't think that's a fact I think that you'd find that different populations have um you know different and and of course you know one has to acknowledge that this is influenced by culture and socialization because if you live in.
[27:23] Mike: Ok, that's actually higher.
[27:39] Ricky: You know I come from South Africa and in Africa I don't know that there are a lot of countries in Africa where no one would dare tell anyone they were trance even if they felt that way. So again, you don't know what the data will look like and it will be influenced by socialization and culture for sure.
[27:58] Mike: Is that I noticed that you are from South Africa you mentioned that I think in your podcast have do you just have a thing for the southern hemisphere. You just thought you because you could there even in Australia just you just don't want a Christmas to you. Don't want a ah a cold Christmas.
[28:05] Ricky: Yeah.
[28:15] Ricky: That's very very funny. Um I actually did live in the u k for a period. So no, it's but I think there is some truth in what you've asked even though I think it's a flipff question. Um, the the thing is that South Africa
[28:18] Mike: Okay.
[28:30] Ricky: South african lifestyle is very similar to Australia so a lot of south africans have migrated here because it's a sunny outdoor lifestyle. We play the same sport. We have very similar outdoor culture. We like barbecues. We like you know the kind of the same kinds of things. So it's less of a cultural. Adaptation to move from South Africa to Australia whereas ah my understanding is I think I'm I mean the states are very United States very diverse country because it's just so massive and you'd find very different cultures in different regions. But I do think even in an average american city that people from South Africa find that more of a cultural.
[28:56] Mike: Sure you.
[29:07] Ricky: Ah, a cultural challenge that coming to Australia.
[29:10] Mike: Sure and did do they play australian rules football in South Africa Cricket and rugby. Yeah, okay.
[29:14] Ricky: No, but we play Cricket we play Rugby Union we play um soccer So yeah and and ah cricket and rugby are bigger. They big sports in both countries.
[29:25] Mike: I believe the number one sport in Australia though is is football footy is that right? Okay whereas in South Africa it's probably right? It's sit's in South Africa I imagined something else. Okay I wanted I wanted to ask you some bring up some some topics that I got from.
[29:30] Ricky: Correct. Yeah yeah, that's right, That's correct. Yeah, it's it's ah it's a massive. It's like a religion.
[29:44] Mike: From listening to some episodes your podcast a little lighter topics. Um, you mentioned? Yes, Yes, exactly. So you mentioned that you you had a topic where you talked about penis size and you said and I'm this is.
[29:47] Ricky: Yeah, because we've been very, we've been very hot and heavy. We just met and we've just spoken about never heavy political issues.
[30:03] Mike: Anybody sort of who spends time thinking about this stuff knows that it doesn't particularly matter to women unless it's unusual in one direction the other. But then you said that the penis usually doesn't get fully inserted anyway during sex and I was curious about that. Ah, what? so doesn't get fully inserted So what. What? What do you mean by that and so you know it suggests that men sort of aren't using their full penis. How does a men fully man fully insert his penis and why is it not getting fully inserted I Think that's what you said.
[30:33] Ricky: Well for longer. Yeah for a lot of men. First of all, it's interesting but sort of doing this spring sort of gross sort of discussion in terms of not gross disgusting but sort of very yeah, um, sort of nuts a bolt but um.
[30:46] Mike: For sure.
[30:47] Ricky: First of all the male penis is often longer than the length of a vagina. So um, even though men probably think that they're in the whole length. They're actually not um so and and so if you I mean there's certain sexual positions where you've got to have a bit of distance between you know the the beginning of the shaft and. The woman because the position doesn't enable you to get right up, you know? Anyhow, so but for for many women. There's just not enough a male penis length maybe longer than the actual length that needs to be inserted um and during sex itself. Not the whole thing is a man thrusting his whole length into a woman that. Tends to happen close to orgasm men instinctively wants to thrust deeper which makes sense for fertilization if you think about it that way. um so yeah um I mean I think we we all know that there's great diversity of of. Penis size and you know I had some male friends at school who you know they would have had to have sex with you know, blue whale too sort the whole length of their penis into anything. You know there were some guys out there who are very well hangg individuals and um, so yeah, so that I mean that's just a.
[31:59] Mike: Her.
[32:04] Ricky: Reality of of physics. It's not enough.
[32:05] Mike: Is that because in in college you would compare erect penises with other men. Well but how would you know go on. Yeah.
[32:10] Ricky: But I wouldn't do that but you know in South Africa we well we didn't compare wreck we didn't compare wreck penises. No I didn't look I'm not casting any aspersions on people who do but I certainly never did that I mean but you know you.
[32:24] Mike: Um, short.
[32:27] Ricky: In South Africa we played Ragby and then after which you all went for a shower. Um, and so you know men were hanging out naked together and changing groups because I don't know if they do that in the states anymore. But we certainly in South Africa there was no ah you know the male changing group was lots of male naked bodies walking around and you know there's some guys that are shorter and some guys that are longer and then there's some guys that are just.
[32:29] Mike: Sure.
[32:47] Ricky: You know, Abnormally they their father was a horse and their mother never told them I don't know So ah so yeah, and that's.
[32:53] Mike: Right? So you're presuming and and we do we We do have ah ah the at least? Ah, ah, adults typically ah shower and sort of in the same kind of context here. Ah, but you're you're assuming that the length of the. Flaccid penis correlates with the length of the erect penis and that's something that people always sort of caution about right that that some you know that there isn't necessarily a correlation but maybe actually maybe there is a correlation is there is there a correlation now.
[33:19] Ricky: Well I mean there there is a correlation because I mean you know going into the details I mean I had a friend who had like a twenty centimeter flaccid penis. So I mean many men don't reach twenty centimeters when they're erect or whatever he did when he was erect. There was certainly longer than someone who read a.
[33:34] Mike: Right.
[33:39] Ricky: you know, 10 c centimetre flacit penis you know never made it to twenty centimetres so I think there there's certainly evidence that that there is some what more evening out that most men when erect or more similar in size than they expect and men with smaller penises tend to get bigger erections and men with very large penises often. This. You know they only have got so much blood in their body. They've got to stay conscious. You know if you put all the blood in there. You know they'll pass out. so um so I think there is some degree of evening out, but certainly there would be still some correlation and I would think the average very large flaccid penis is going to be still bigger than the average, very small.
[34:01] Mike: Yeah I hear him.
[34:18] Ricky: Last penis. So but it's just that the difference. The difference is much less.
[34:19] Mike: Sure, okay, and for our american audience Twenty centimeters it's It's actually it's more fun to say your penise is twenty centimeters just because the number is bigger. That's it's like yeah, that's that's that's kind of fun but for for us here in the US it's ah that's around eight inches
[34:35] Ricky: There'll be nine Nine Inches nine yet 9
[34:37] Mike: It's around 8 I okay maybe it's nine I tried to do a conversion on the computer here. But I I might have mistyped. Um, yeah, okay, um, but that's yeah, that is ah a pretty a pretty large pretty large penis and you're right I mean obviously if it's a certain size.
[34:42] Ricky: Let it out. It could be 8 It could be 8 point something.
[34:56] Mike: Non erect. There's it's hard for it to shrink when it becomes erect in any meaningful way. So that that that would be a hell.
[35:02] Ricky: Yes, and I have to tell you that um I still have nightmares because I was at this guy's house. She hass a good friend of mine and he took a shower and I had a bath at the same time we didn't think much of that at the time and suddenly this thing emerged from the shower while I was still bating and I still haven't quite. Um I had 10 years of therapy try get over that. But there is a very funny story about this friend of mine and his twenty cent to meter member and that is the same guy 2 story. He went for a swim in his swimming pool um naked and he had a little courtyard at the back of his house.
[35:25] Mike: Okay.
[35:37] Ricky: And his house was along the route to our school and all the school kids used to walk past the house going both directions after school and halfway through his swim. He realized that his parents had gone out for the day and he was locked in the courtyard and he was faced with the. 2 prospects. He either spent an entire day in the courtyard naked with just no food, no water and and nothing to do or he had to climb naked onto his roof to climb through his bedroom window and he eventually decided that he he had to climb through the window. So. We we did write a song at school about him in ophacarts which is language we spoke which which translates to naked butt on the roof but he was always known for that so he was the right guy to climb on the roof to impress the the neighbourhood and many people going to and from school unfortunately did spot him on his roofs and informed us at school the next day. So. Quite a dramatic story that phobated.
[36:31] Mike: How does one say naked naked butt on the roof in offercans.
[36:36] Ricky: Girl Hut of de duck but it's a bit. It's a bit of slang but that was our song if there's any offer car listening to the this podcast there will be laughing right now I can promise you it's a slaggy way of writing a song. Basically.
[36:43] Mike: That's cool.
[36:52] Mike: Sure, Um, you mentioned also that you're that that your wife will tell you to put your penis away because it's not attractive does that really happen I've never had that happen.
[36:59] Ricky: Yeah, look um you know I was just saying that when when wives you're a lucky man So when wives walk around naked around the house I think most men are very delighted by that. But um, you know if I happen to be naked. My wife will always say hey put that thing away before it hurts someone or something like that. Um, so no I'm not not encouraged by my family to walk around naked at all. Um, so you know I actually I must tell you I grew up in a family which was like a nudist colony. My my parents were like all nateral all the time. Everyone just walked around naked in my house and that was just considered normal.
[37:21] Mike: Hi.
[37:36] Ricky: But I've come across families that are very different. And for example, we've got friends and the mother said that she would never ever have been seen naked by her kids at any age ever and she wouldn't even bath with them when they were babies I mean my wife used to love bathing with with our kids when they were little. It was like their highlight. They used to. Paint soap pictures on each other's backs and chat about the day till you know they were four or five years old that there was a great mother child bonding time but I know that some people really don't like that idea at all.
[38:07] Mike: Well here we ah I remember distinctly some women here when my children were younger near San Francisco where they were still breastfeeding four and five year olds and they would be doing it on the side of the sideline of the soccer game. Not not exactly the same thing but some kind of you know, physical bonding.
[38:27] Ricky: Yes, um that I've I've seen that as well. Yeah I've seen that as well I do think there's a time for kids to stop breastfeeding but that's just my lowly opinions.
[38:38] Mike: Right? Um, okay so yeah, yeah, I don't think I've ever been told to put it away but that that makes sense. It's not. It's that I I agree that objectively it's less attractive and that makes sense. Um.
[38:52] Ricky: When when I was at when I was at University I I read a magazine and it said why are men's magazines full of scatterly Clad women and women's magazines are also full of scatterly Clad women and then it said that's because men have.
[38:53] Mike: You talk about? ah no go ahead.
[39:12] Ricky: Men have hairy lovely bodies that should not be seen by the light of day. It was the answer to that so I don't know that everyone agrees um I know a lot of women in Australia love Chris Hemsworth and probably find his lovely body very attractive. But um I've always laughed about that. Um, but I know that.
[39:25] Mike: Yeah I don't I mean I don't completely agree with that like if you're watching. Um I mean I'm I'm heterosexual. But if you're watching say ah ah like an Olympic swimming competition with the men. Their bodies are pretty impressive. You know So so a man's body can be very impressive but it's it's different. It's requires a lot of.
[39:37] Ricky: Um, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.
[39:42] Mike: Lot of work to get there to have an impressive body as a man and I think that it's essentially unreasonable for somebody to argue that women's bodies are not objectively more attractive like they're designed to be more attractive than men's bodies I agree with you there. That's it's it's um, yeah sure I understand.
[39:55] Ricky: Ah, was I was just joking I was just joking I mean when I see myself at there when I see myself in the mirror eye I mean I'm black and a donnus I'm very attracted to that body but it's just convincing women to feel the same. That's the greater challenge.
[40:03] Mike: I'm I'm sure. Yeah, sure you're like ah this this guy's this guy's really attractive. Why doesn't every woman just swoon. He walks by um, you mentioned.
[40:19] Ricky: And by the way that doesn't work well with wives by the way that doesn't work well with wives. So so mean I I actually am very fit I'm a huge fitness nut and I go to gym and I'm um I mean not arrogantly. But I'm fairly well-buil for man of almost 50 I work very hard on my body.
[40:19] Mike: Ah, yep.
[40:35] Mike: Sure.
[40:36] Ricky: And my wife always says to me hey you know I like like hey look look how thin I am Well you know, look at this muscle and she's like you know you do this for yourself. I you know I I Love you the way you are I don't need you to go to gym and you know get Buffed. It's not something that I'm asking you to do so now I don't get much tension for that and I don't think telling. Wives and girlfriends that other women give your attention for kills much them either like hey you might not appreciate my biceps. But I know someone who does there are men that do that and it it really irritates their their girlfriends and wives. It's definitely not a line I recommend but certainly. Ah, my wife always says to me look she doesn't mind if I go to job this Um, it wouldn't bother her.
[41:20] Mike: It doesn't ah 1 1 line of reasoning that I could see happening there with ah with a wife would be um if if you as a man make yourself more attractive. Um, there is some competition element right? I mean it could impress other women. And in that sense it could provoke a not an angry response but just a competitive response from your wife right? I mean she's she she becomes starts feeling more attracted to you just because you know she she feels like oh I need to I need to make sure that he that I'm still his primary woman that nobody's able to swoop in here. If that does that make sense.
[41:56] Ricky: Well I think that's well I think that's what irritates women often when husbands and boyfriends do try and tell their their female partners. Oh you know this nurse was chatting me up to work or something because they're like hey it doesn't impress me that you were Faithful. You know it's the primary. Form of trust that we have in our relationship you fulfilling that most primary obligation in our relationship is very impressive. But I think there is an element of it that I think women are on average a little less preoccupied often within marriage with parents than men are I mean that's ah the nature of men and women men are extremely visual. And women whilst they're visual I mean you know they're actors out there that women swoon over and they want to go watching that guy on the screen women are often quite practical in marriage they they they might get sexually excited about things that are different to men. Um, so for women often So I'll give you a funny example. Um.
[42:33] Mike: Um, here.
[42:51] Ricky: There's there's actually quite a big study that shows that the only people who are having more sex. What's happened over the last which is fascinating over the last twenty or thirty years is that the sexual frequency of couples has actually gone down in western democracies which seems to be counterintuitive because sex has become such a blase thing. You know it's.
[43:02] Mike: Here.
[43:10] Ricky: In in our parents' time if you fell pregnant you were thrown out the house and it was the most disgraceful thing in the world and now you know sex is like people moving with each other. They're having sex. No One Cares. It's like just part of life. So and yet sexual frequencies actually gone down but the only couples that are having more sex or equal amount amount of sex to before. Ah, couples that share the domestic load very evenly. So so men who are actually helping their wives more at home are getting more sex than men who are not helping their wives at home and so I think you know that's that's a very interesting statement. Um. I Think there's many complexities to that because I think if you have a positive relationship helping each other is positive. But so if you're in everything Together. You're spending more time together. You can have more sex. You know if you if the if the guys at work all the time is not at Home. He never comes home and helps his wife. He's not going to get much sex because he's not around. So If you're actually close working together doing everything together. Think there's a closeness element to that is a teamwork element and I think it's a reflection often of a very positive relationship where the man cares deeply about what his wife wants and the wife cares deeply about what her husband wants and that then is a stimulus to to better sex lives. It's just an interesting you know observation and and within within that study. There were even statements from women who said well you know.
[44:17] Mike: Sure.
[44:24] Ricky: If I'm sitting up watching the dishes till 10 pm I come to bed very tired I'm not the mood for sex if my husband actually helped me I'd come to bed an hour earlier so and I wouldn't be resentful so there's lots of there's lots of elements to it. It's just I do think that often what women find attractive in men is not identical. Always for many couples. Are very very visually stimulated creatures and if you look at that as a taste in the opposite sex. You'll see that very strongly as well because for men you show a group of men a beautiful woman who's just totally totally hot like unbelievably good looking woman with a beautiful body. You can go show men in. Africa Asia The States Australia this woman and everyone's going to go wow! She's amazing. But with women they're not like that at all I mean they sit around and go I don't know what you see in that guy I mean I dinner with a woman the other day she said Tom Cruise is not attractive at all never was know Tom Cruise has got went and she was she's ah.
[45:04] Mike: The.
[45:21] Ricky: And woman of my age she was watching him when he was twenty five thirty she's not attractive. Don't don't know what women see in him and then you have you know you have these very diverse discussions when women are all telling each other. Yeah I don't know what you see in him I I just don't see it and women are clearly often attracted to other things you know wealthy.
[45:25] Mike: Yeah.
[45:40] Ricky: Powerful men often have beautiful girlfriends. That's a fact of life and people may not like it. But it's it's still a fact of life. So it's clear that women are much more diverse in what they find attractive men are very very visual. They like beautiful women and I think there's some societal resentment about that now. But it's.
[45:53] Mike: Sure.
[45:59] Ricky: It It still is the way that we wired.
[46:02] Mike: On that topic of men and women sharing the load and yeah I agree. although although I do think that ah Tom Cruise is objectively very attractive as ah, even as a hetero guy like I can I can see that but but fair, fair enough like I agree that.
[46:11] Ricky: Yeah I like it as well.
[46:15] Mike: Yeah I Just think he's He's a pretty weird guy but I think he's physically it's like hi. That's that guy's pretty handsome ah in terms of sharing the load is your intuition that or maybe there's data on the I don't know how if you necessarily could have data that that the causation goes that direction In other words, a man helping sharing the load. Leads to more sex or that the that it's the other direction because I could see it being the other direction that basically ah, having more sex makes the guy want to help out more because he he is more.. He's happier with his partner. Basically.
[46:53] Ricky: I I mean I think for each couple. It's different, but certainly I think it goes both ways. So the the ideal relationship is between 2 people who want to take care of each of each other's needs and so for if if a husband has much child abido than his wife and his wife.
[46:53] Mike: Any thoughts on that. Okay.
[47:11] Ricky: You know, just goes Well I'm not interested that is a problem for that relationship because the man is going to be frustrated all the time and you're quite right? It it does lead to resentment and it it is a physical need that you know men have so it's not about lack of Consent. It's not about I think that's one of the saddest thing about this discussion not from you but from the world at the moment. Is to imply that this is an issue of men you know wanting to you know, take advantage of women or if they want sex. They just demand it and why shouldn't the woman be allowed to say no I think that's a very negative spin on a relationship because really in a relationship. Things that men want to do they things that women want to do their needs that each have that are different and the ideal relationship with both partners care deeply about satisfying the needs of the other whatever they may be so I might not care that much about whether the dishes are clean or not. But if I know that my wife cares if I care about her surely I care about doing. Something to help her so that she's not miserable and frustrated and Tired. So I think we all we are here to help each other take care of each other and within that equation sex is one of those things I think I mean I think in an ideal world wouldn't it be wonderful if if all married couples had exactly the same sex Drive. You know that would be great, but that's not reality in in most couples. You know you're not going to have identical libidos and then the question is how do you work through that together to make sure that both partners are happy and that's not just about the woman always giving sex to a man when she doesn't want to because then she's going to become you know, resentful about sex and you know see it as a chore and it becomes a negative relationship issue as Well. So That's you know the new answers in.
[48:43] Ricky: Coupled of how do you? How do you work that out. How do you make the woman happy. How do you make the man happy. What do the 2 of you need to do to make that relationship work and to to get the best out of each other and also for both people to be happy.
[48:55] Mike: Sure what about what about um situations where the so I mean there's a bit of a presumption there and I think this is the more common case that the man has a higher libido but we've talked to people and actually my co-host Keith. Has often been in relationships where he is the one with the lower libido at which I imagine creates a separate kind of challenge right? because then well it's yeah it creates a separate kind of challenge is there is there some equivalent ah to. Sharing the sharing the load I guess I guess if the man were doing the majority of the housework then you could actually imagine kind of an inversion of more traditional gender roles. There. But let's assume that's not the case I mean is there something is there is there something that a that a woman can do that's kind of analogous to that if if the husband or the. Boyfriend has a lower libido or is it just kind of a maladaptive situation. That's hard to fix.
[49:55] Ricky: Look I think that's a very complex question again because it depends what the underlying situation is so firstly the majority of couples in the world. If a man has normal testosterone levels in in an average couple men have high libidos than women you see that played out in the society all the time men pursue women for sex. Um.
[50:10] Mike: Sure.
[50:12] Ricky: All over the world in in high school in and and's if you think about mammals that's the same as other Mammadan species I mean the the men are fighting each other to get the women and the women are standing around looking a little less excited about the whole thing doesn't mean women don't enjoy sex but we are designed to pursue women I mean that's how we survive as a species and species and.
[50:27] Mike: Right.
[50:32] Ricky: We do have high libidos on average because we've got high testosterone levels but of course humans are diverse and different and there are many couples where women have higher sex drives than men. There's no question that that exists in the world. Um, and in that construct it really depends What the underlying issue is so is it. You do get women. First of all who are who actually have sexual issues that they are sex addicts so to speak where they have this unquenchable need to have sex all the time for for deep emotional problematic reasons you get women are just very naturally normally healthyily highly sexed women. Um, and there's a. You know, great kind to have um and you know they are men who have low sex drives because they just are a man who has a low sex drive but they're normal and then you get menu of medical issues. So low testosterone causing low sex drive and then you know they'd want to guard Treatment. So I guess it all depends on what the situation is. It is a little bit more difficult in some ways for men because I think there is a stigma and I think many men do feel a little bit uncomfortable and a little bit. Let's say embarrassed if they're with a partner who wants to have sex and they can't do it because for men to get an erection you need to have desire and if you can't quite stimulate that. Can be difficult because technically that's a necessary aspect of having sex whereas with women. You know there are lubricate lubricates that can be used if things aren't working that. Well so that you know you can get around that but with menu cards. Um, so I think for men it's a technically can be a more difficult issue So Nowadays men a lot of you know older men who.
[52:07] Ricky: Ah, in relation with younger women who are more highly sex than them. They get the vigra typepe medications. There are few different kinds. Um, but it it is a challenge to work through either Way. So if if if if the woman is un'tsatisfied in the relationship. That's as much of a problem as a man be Unsatisfied. It's equally problematic. So. Think it, you know it's something that the couple would have to work through.
[52:25] Mike: Okay, so so so it sounds like if in a situation where ah, the man is has a lower sex drive or maybe a man has repeatedly been in relationships where he finds he has lower sex Drive. He actually maybe should talk to a doctor just to check it sounds like.. It's like ah that could be a medical issue like it's because it's a little bit unusual. It sounds like that's what I'm hearing. It's interesting.
[52:48] Ricky: Yeah I mean look it's It's interesting. But um I see a lot of patients in inocrinology and all endocrinologists do who are referred in specifically because they're concerned about having low libido we we we much less often see women referred to endocrinologists for low libido then. Often see sexual therapists and other people. Um, so they don't see it as much as a medical problem. But for men. Um, where they have low libido. They often refer to endocrinologist check their testosterone levels because it is seen as something that isn't usual and and to be fair, the average young man does have a high sex drive I Mean. It It doesn't mean that someone who doesn't is abnormal as such, but it is a typical feature of young men that they're very highly sexed teenage men you know none of us. But.
[53:30] Mike: What it. But what if it's what if it's I mean I think a more well Okay, but I think both are somewhat common. Obviously you in your practice have men with truly low libido. Um I've encountered ah situations where a man. Doesn't really have a low libido. He just I think it might just have like ah ah might have relationship to easy access to porn on the internet that simply there. There's too much variety or something like that of a visual stimulation available and so they don't have a low libido. They just don't have sex with their partner that much. Is that something you've encountered.
[54:11] Ricky: Um, I mean yes, absolutely there are you know there's lots of different kinds of sexual issues and that that would be 1 of them and I think that you know this some men I I'll tell you a really bizarre story I saw a.
[54:18] Mike: Um, okay.
[54:28] Ricky: Ah, doctor as a patient. So the doctor came to see me and he said to me you know I've been having some problems getting a erection with my wife and I said well I'm sorry to hear that and he said well what I did was I went to a glamorous prostitute.
[54:46] Mike: Okay.
[54:47] Ricky: And he said and the equipment works absolutely perfectly. So I just said well I don't think it's your testosterone level I can test it but it sounds like the the equipment worked with that woman then it's not there might be an issue with your marriage or something to do with you and your wife but it doesn't sound like it's a physical issue. So I literally saw a patient who said that to me.
[55:04] Mike: Wait But what happened are you? So you you? So you you suggested relationship work.
[55:04] Ricky: So I mean this, you know things come in all shapes and forgs and it well. So I mean I didn't yes I mean I ah he his he was medically normal. His testosterone levels were normal and I said to I think maybe you need to work on your relationship and you can start by not. Telling your wife what you did because I think that'll be a really bad place to start Honey. It's not me it to you. You know I tested it out's definitely you So I don't think that would be a great place to start So I don't know what became of him because I don't you know I don't follow up these kinds of issues he came to see me for a medical clearance and I said you're medically normal. But I think you need to get some help with this.
[55:40] Mike: You may need to some psychological work there. That's interesting. Yeah, and that's that is not the first thing that would occur to me in that situation to to test out the equipment with a prostitute good.
[55:50] Ricky: So I'll tell you there you go? Well I'll tell you something really fascinating as well. This is bizarre from Australia then it's the same in the states but you you might be thinking hey you needs to also go and get you know a sexually transmitted disease clearance after that. So here here's a weird thing in Australia. Um, prostitutes. Why don't if you call them that anymore or we call them sex healthcare workers I don't know what the right term is the politically correct sex workers. That's it. Okay, um, sex workers have lower rates of stds than the average population in Australia because they actually practice safer sex how how unusual is that.
[56:12] Mike: Sex workers. Yeah yeah.
[56:22] Mike: Sure yeah, and they're tested and well I I imagine that's partly that probably is partly. It's it's it's sex work is legal in Australia right? It's legal and regulated. Yeah, so in the in the u s it's not.
[56:36] Ricky: Yes, as far as I know look I have to tell you I I think so yes I don't I genuinely are not trying to put out ideas. But I really don't know much too much about the industry. It's not one that I you know know anything about but I mean there's certainly.
[56:41] Mike: So.
[56:55] Ricky: Yeah, if it's if it's not legal. It's certainly tolerated but I think it's legal as far as I know.
[57:00] Mike: Right? And that well that would set up I mean I know that the in the United States the only place where it's legal is in the state of Nevada where they have brothels and ah my understanding is the std risk is prevalence is quite low there because they have all these testing regimens and.
[57:13] Ricky: Um, yeah.
[57:17] Mike: They're required to use condoms and bubble bla Blah Blah blah there. There're various things that that ah that protect them. Um, have you Ah what?? what are? what are some things that a man are there other things besides low libido or sort of changed libido that might make it So a man should Check. For his have his testosterone checked.
[57:40] Ricky: Here look there's lots of symptoms. So. So for example, men with low testosterone can get hot flues like women get postmenopausally. They often feel very tired. They just have very little energy. They lose their vitality. Um, they sometimes just become grumpy and miserable and some of them also become a lot more passive. So all those things would would be concerning and also you know loss of libido particularly you know in a medical problem somebody who lost their libido so I saw as as an example, you're saying like should people seek medical help and you know I saw ah an an eighty year old German Mans who came to see me about his osteoporosis brittle bone disease and he was referred to me because his specialists had been looking after they couldn't understand why his bones were getting worse despite medical treatment and when I spoke to him I said well you know do you still have a sex drive. He said no so I said well when did you last have a sex drive. He said. Fifty years ago so I said wow so when you were 30 javal. So um, I asked him about that and he was normal growing up and then at age 30 he just completely lost his his libido and he never sought any help for it. Fifty years later he came't see me so I examined him and yet.
[58:45] Mike: Um, okay.
[58:52] Ricky: Testicles that were literally the size of sesame seeds. Not figuratively literally I struggled to find them and I was very worried because you want to check that they're not I descended. So um I tested his testosterone levels. They were basically zero and so I put him on testosterone and I said I had lot chat 2 and his wife and he was a key goal for this guy. So his wife was going. Oh did you mention something about latent prostate cancer. He just went when I hit the golf bu thirdda I said you will and he said I want it I wanted now because of course taking testosterone makes you stronger. So then he he he came back to see me for a follow up.
[59:21] Mike: Sure.
[59:29] Ricky: And I said to him how things's going and he looked. He didn't look happy at all. So I thought oh dear, something's gone wrong Busby is golf. So I said to what what's happened. He said you tell me his long game is excellent. He's hitting the board miles. But every time he gets on the green. He gets an erection and you can't Pat. So I said wow. Okay. So that's said at house and then he and his wife were but sort of agitated because they were his sex drive actually had returned and he was and he couldn't quite get it right in the bedroom. So I mean I gave him practical advice I said look take your wife to the golf course to the green late at night because you obviously have no trouble getting a erect on the green when you have puttingock. So just. Take it to the golf course. So I adjusted his testosterone and he and his wife were very very happy and they came back to see before another follow out and they were actually sexually active again after 50 years very excited but too excited because really I do get great delight out of helping my patients but I'm not always show that eighty year old sex stories are that exciting for a doctor. There's things we don't need to know about's some that's a good message to patients. Generally there's something things doctors actually don't need to know about. But anyhow they were very excited. They went away very happy so and another life saved.
[01:00:26] Mike: Right? right.
[01:00:37] Mike: Yes I think in all cases an 80 year old is a person where it's acceptable to tell him to put his penis away if it's out. That's not nobody wants to see an 80 year old man's penis there there I'm completely agreement. Um, okay, well that's about an hour yep go ahead.
[01:00:43] Ricky: Scatter.
[01:00:49] Ricky: Um, well after after 50 years of after fifth after 50 years after 50 years of celibacy in this particular case that was actually the office. His wife was very excited so didn't pretend him to put it away at all. She was genuinely very excited I mean it's.
[01:01:00] Mike: Really even though she was also presumably. She was also presumably eighty years old or around there.
[01:01:09] Ricky: Yeah, but I mean they hadn't had sex for 50 years so something very novel and something very exciting for her.
[01:01:15] Mike: Wow. Okay, it's interestinging. Um yeah I was start as I was starting to say it's but it's been about an hour. So why don't we leave it there. Um I really appreciate you coming on the show Ricky that was ah.
[01:01:30] Mike: Informative and entertaining I really appreciate it talking to you? Um, as I mentioned at the beginning of the show. Thank you for sure. Ah Ricki has a book and um a podcast that we will link to in the show notes. So people can check those out and as always um, people can send us feedback at.
[01:01:32] Ricky: Um, yous Youtube thank you.
[01:01:48] Mike: Yomemvpod at gmail.com or on Twitter at Ymmvpod and thank you for listening to let your mileage may vary. We'll be back next week thanks
[01:01:56] Ricky: Thanks so much for having me bye.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 125: Are Women Superior To Men? An Interview With Dr. Ricky Arenson

Episode Transcript