Your Mileage May Vary: Dating Repartee, Cum Souvenirs, Mediocre Sex With Beautiful Women, Double Your Pleasure

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith today we are going to talk about the oral hygiene of the person going down on you how to blow a first physical like encounter come tissues and more. I am Keith back at long glass for my 11 country world tour my co-host is Mike and Mike good job keeping the pod afloat while I was out gallivanting.
[00:29] Mike: Thanks I mean there's you made the good point that like if we we have to be careful not to stray from the point of the podcast when you know at some point it might be better just to take a week or two break or maybe give people some classic episodes. We now have quite a library or something like that and so.
[00:43] Keith: Now Yeah, that's an interesting idea replaying old episodes.
[00:47] Mike: Yeah, there's a there's a podcast I listened to that. Um, what he does is he'll take an old episode. He'll take like 20 minutes of it and commentate it. He'll take an old one and he'll be like yeah I've changed my mind on this and it's actually kind of interesting. So.
[00:56] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not sure what to do when we're unavailable like is it better to have consistent content that is a little bit lower quality or 2
[01:13] Mike: I Don't know it hurts my feelings that you're saying it's lower quality but you know we'll just go move on I I heard you? yeah.
[01:14] Keith: Have breaks I'm not sure anyway, I mean that was that was implied but not made entirely explicit. Um, so I think I have a dating tip that could be generally useful. For for people you often will see like oh what should I do on a first date and it's sort of a hard question I mean the answer is you should be charming and try not to talk too much about yourself and you know ask her questions and be interested in what she has to say. But yeah I think people need specifics and I think I have.
[01:53] Mike: Okay, for a woman.
[01:53] Keith: Think I have one that would be generally useful for people. Are you ready? No this is for a man going on a date like a thing that he can try to do that will make the date go better. Okay, so I try to figure out some situation.
[02:00] Mike: Um, alrighty.
[02:13] Keith: Whereby she might be going through some drama. So um I might ask if she has roommates um and ask like oh you know? do you guys have any drama like you know how? how are the relationships between you guys? Um, or um.
[02:16] Mike: Phil.
[02:32] Keith: Was talking to somebody last night. This wasn't a date but it was a girl in my running club and she had just been on a trip and people were like oh you know what was your favorite part. You know how how was it and I said ah was there any drama between you and your sister and she sort of lit up and like talked about that like. 3 minutes um and I think what you're doing here is I think people want a place to like air out their dirty laundry that's sort of a safe space and you know they know that a person that they're on a date with will probably listen patiently and they can like construct their story.
[02:53] Mike: Um, okay.
[03:09] Keith: And they can tell it with like whatever bias they want and they know the person isn't going to be able to judge them because they just don't know and right right.
[03:16] Mike: Well know you're showing that you can play that role that they probably want of ah of a friendly supportive listener like do you do is that what you do Also do you try to like you know it's It's always said off oft said that women want the man to listen but not like offer solutions.
[03:30] Keith: Yeah I mean my temptation of course is to try and fix stuff and tell them what they're doing wrong. But yeah, you have to guard against that I think yeah women definitely don't want that on a first date. They don't want it like people to mansplain to them solutions to their.
[03:32] Mike: Do you do that? Do you just sort of let them vent. Right? right? sure.
[03:50] Keith: Obviously solved problems.
[03:52] Mike: Right? You're so okay, you're saying they're typically trivial have you ever have you ever deployed this tactic and like inadvertently found yourself in like an episode of Jerry Springer where like they reveal something to you where you're just like they're like yeah I ah discovered that my. Step dad blah blah blah you know, just something where the is yeah what stepdad was dating my sister you know, just something just totally unreasonable. Okay.
[04:13] Keith: Yeah I have a good answer to this one. Ah I was on a date once and ah the woman started telling me about she had gotten pregnant and she wasn't sure which of 3 men it it.
[04:25] Mike: Earth. And on on the maury povich show of course famously there was a woman who had 18 men I think and she it went it went on and on and on of course I shamefully.
[04:31] Keith: Was.
[04:39] Keith: They brought them all in for the paternity test.
[04:43] Mike: And it wasn't just all at once it was it was over time because she would bring in like 2 or 3 or actually in at first it was just one and said oh it's I'm sure it's him and of course it wasn't it just went on and on and they would bring her back and at some point you wonder like is this woman telling the truth and let's maybe not and I think they never did find out who it was yeah she basically said she'd.
[04:53] Keith: Right.
[04:59] Keith: It was a day of the 18 Oh yeah I was going to say how could you possibly have sex 18 times during your ovulation window. But sorry I did not consider that you could have sex with multiple men in 1
[05:03] Mike: She'd been in a gang bang and so didn't know who it was yeah.
[05:10] Mike: Right? Buca a that's right, there was a there was a porn I watched recently that was like that it was like a woman had some large number of men and in the whole premise was she wasn't going to know which man impregnated her anyway I cut off your story.
[05:18] Keith: Ah, what episode.
[05:29] Keith: Oh yeah, I mean this isn't anything brilliant. But if you're looking for a direction to steer the patter. Oh which of the 3 which of the 3 possible baby daddies was it I don't remember I mean this was not.
[05:30] Mike: So.
[05:35] Mike: None of the story. What? what? how it was did did you? Yeah yeah, yeah, that's right.
[05:48] Keith: If if someone were to give her advice. They might suggest not to bring up her baby drama baby daddy drama on a first date. No she had an abortion but.
[05:53] Mike: So she had a child or was pregnant or she'd Okay, well so that that's a pause if you're for the kind of man who wants to have some certainty that the woman is not going to have a child when you as a guy maybe don't want to yeah that might be a positive but you were sort of.
[06:06] Keith: Um, feather in her cap.
[06:12] Mike: I guess generally you you viewed it as a negative signal that she'd had this situation where where it was that 3 men so close to her ovulation. Yeah, how did you manage so that's maybe 1 of the worst possible. They're worse but that's not a great outcome to the strategy. How did you manage that just.
[06:17] Keith: Yeah I think that was I think viewing that as a negative is the correct reaction.
[06:30] Mike: Sort of said ah ha Ha ha and then moved on or.
[06:31] Keith: I think I pretended to be interested in the story but there was not going to be a second date after that.
[06:37] Mike: Interesting. Okay, so then you just limited your expenses for that date and left as soon as possible interesting and she might I wonder if she figured out that that's why you did that. But okay, but most of the time you have a positive experience. You're able to get them talking and it it makes you seem like a good listener.
[06:40] Keith: Right? That's right, That's right? yeah.
[06:53] Keith: Um, yeah, right I think I I just thought of this now but it might also be nice because they don't need to try to seem smart about something right? like if you say something like oh, what's your favorite movie like well now.
[06:56] Mike: 4 b you know maybe r yeah.
[07:08] Mike: Um.
[07:11] Keith: You know, maybe it's like the fourth Harry Potter but they don't want to say that because you know it's sort of signals that they're a bit basic right? So now they have to say something interesting or you know who's your favorite musician. It's like well you know you might say Taylor Swift but they might want to signal that they're a little bit more sophisticated than that and but if you say like oh is there any drama with.
[07:26] Mike: Is this this? yeah.
[07:31] Keith: You know, whatever then it just gives them a thing to talk about without having to worry about what it says about them.
[07:34] Mike: This actually really vibes me just just two days ago I was at the whole foods store slash Amazon and I was in the checkst stand and it was two. It was both of the people helping me were attractive young women and ordinarily that's not an easy demographic and I brought up a kind of a joke about shoplifting.
[07:48] Keith: Um, over me.
[07:53] Mike: And they both immediately and and and I was sort of like you guys don't have any problems with that. Do you like as an opening for them to talk about it and immediately was this sort of thing where they both brightened up and they started telling me stories and blah blah blah. There was no one in line. So I wasn't wasting anybody's time and yeah and like they immediately They loved the fact that they could unload some emotional thing on me.
[07:58] Keith: Um, right.
[08:09] Keith: Right? right? Well and you also made it safe by saying you guys don't have a problem with that like you're say you're sort of saying you're down with you know some.
[08:11] Mike: And I could tell like oh now we're taught like now I'm I'm actually having a conversation with these like 24 year old women where that would normally be impossible.
[08:20] Mike: Right.
[08:25] Keith: Like maybe an unsavory thing. So what I say like when was there any drama I'll I'll say like oh man was there like someone might say like oh I just went to a wedding and and I'll say like oh man was there any juicy drama because yeah, you're making it clear that you want to hear the drama. You're not judging them for being dramatic.
[08:42] Mike: Maybe you're creating a familiar conversation style that women would often have amongst themselves Also like it's it's it's less ah intimidating because you're yeah, it's it's and it's not maybe the kind of conversation men would have with each other.
[08:45] Keith: Yeah, maybe.
[08:53] Keith: Right? Because we busy talking about things like the Manhattan project.
[08:58] Mike: Sure or you know how to solve global warming So forth. We we spend our time on important stuff. Yeah.
[09:07] Keith: Important issues of the day right? Um, all right? Well I have a bunch of topics collated here. Both from listeners and from write it. Ah shall we get into it I kind of liked this first one. Um.
[09:17] Mike: Um, yes.
[09:23] Keith: Says I was I was texting a potential partner for about two weeks and things were great. We made plans to meet and the day before we got into the subject of sexual likes and dislikes and he mentions how he is a big fan of giving oral. Awesome who doesn't love oral. So I mentioned my lady bits are a tad sensitive and I work hard to keep her healthy and happy and that i.
[09:33] Mike: No.
[09:43] Keith: Just ask that he brush his teeth before going down south through previous conversations I knew he was a cigarette smoker So this is an absolute necessity for me or you just put your mouth down there. Well he's well he stops responding after that the next day I go to text him about still meeting up and I get nothing back I.
[09:48] Mike: Oh okay.
[09:59] Mike: Wait did I just have a stroke or did you like skip something I think you did because you said or he just goes down there. You you jumped? Okay sorry.
[10:04] Keith: I thought I skipped a sentence but I didn't I know this is what she wrote through previous conversations I know he is a cigarette smoker. So this is an absolute necessity for me or you just put your mouth down there. That's what she wrote. Ah.
[10:17] Mike: Okay, well, that's unfortunate.
[10:22] Keith: Call and my calls don't go through I checked the app and he blocked me just ghosted me because I said he had to have a clean mouth to taste this. Um.
[10:31] Mike: I would point out just just off the top here that ah now it's It's basically viewed as basically impossible. It's either basically impossible or impossible to spread H I V through oral sex. Um I would even go so far as to say it's impossible like there. There aren't.
[10:44] Keith: Okay. If anything if anything brushing your teeth would increase the odds because brushing the teeth causes little microabrasions in your mouth. So yeah, if you have a sore it might make it a little bloody. You know.
[10:49] Mike: Really any documented cases of this and people exactly that's right and that's actually the advice that people are giving right? and so she's essentially what what? Yeah what? What struck me as odd immediately about that is that now oral. Performed on a woman is even less likely to because there's no let's set aside squirting. There's no ejaculate fluid exchanged ah so on and so forth. However, like.
[11:11] Keith: Right? right.
[11:17] Mike: To the extent that you're worried about such things like yes, having the person micro a break their mouth before having oral sex seems like it increases the risk somewhat.
[11:23] Keith: I Don't think her concern here is H I V I think her concern is that he might have cigarette tar in his teeth or something.
[11:31] Mike: I Would think that would bother like I I would think there would be other sexual activities or near sexual activities like that would bother her more than the oral like issing or smelling him.
[11:40] Keith: Yeah, kissing So the reason I brought this up is I mean I don't think it's normal to like demand that your partner brushes teeth or her teeth before going down on you is it.
[11:54] Mike: No I mean I could see I've okay I'm sure you've experienced this that ah depending on what your lovely young Sutras suitor has eaten or if they've brushed their teeth recently you might notice a different tingling sensation on your penis. Ah so.
[12:03] Keith: Um, ah ah sure.
[12:11] Mike: There is a sensation that can happen I've experienced it before from well you know, sort of spicy food and have that be uncomfortable I also had to be uncomfortable from brushed teeth. So where it's like this peppermint. Well actually I've had it be and I've had to be more like to the point where it gets in the peehole and is uncomfortable.
[12:20] Keith: Yeah, it's a little minty get that that little tingle. Um, yeah.
[12:29] Mike: So I I think well I would want them to rinse their mouth really well and I certainly don't think Hygiene Hygiene I Guess if you're a woman though. It's more intrusive. He could stick his tongue way up in there.
[12:40] Keith: Um, yeah, but I think she's imagining it like what are the parts per million of like dirt based on whether your teeth are brushed or not like I just I don't think I think she's constructing a concern here and I think most people don't have this concern I mean.
[12:42] Mike: Well for sure.
[12:50] Mike: That's right.
[12:55] Mike: That's right.
[12:58] Keith: After I read this I was like huh like maybe if I were more into blowjobs I would I don't just I don't think I would care if somebody has like even bad breath before they blow me now. My semen is like roses man.
[13:09] Mike: They're going to have bad breath afterward. Well it has a certain smell so it's going to. They'll have a a distinctive breath rather. Ah I think I generally agree with that Although I yeah I would just think I mean whatever I think I would think that like.
[13:17] Keith: Um, yeah.
[13:25] Mike: Yeah, you would worry about the cigarette stuff in other Contexts and it's strange. So it's strange to do that. It's also strange that he ghosted her. Um, but he might have been felt like he was being judged for his smoking habit.
[13:34] Keith: Yeah I mean based on her writing style and like outrage about him not honoring this request. He might have just gotten the impression that this was going to be too much work.
[13:46] Mike: Yeah I mean maybe she's not all that difficult to know. Yeah.
[13:50] Keith: Yeah, who knows I I mean we get. We have just one paragraph here. So It's hard to divine too much. But okay, yeah, So yeah, yeah, it sounds like you agree that like demanding someone to brush their teeth. Is a little bit unusual.
[14:09] Mike: Um, I mean a fair number of guys, especially nowadays Venture South of the border from the Vulva So these are people who are going to get some poop on their tongue. So it's hard for me to like so that's worse. Yeah, so it's I'm not.
[14:18] Keith: Right? right? What could possibly be worse right? Yeah, like would she be upset if he was like licking her body and she hadn't showered lately and then he tried to go down on her like what are the boundaries here.
[14:24] Mike: Yeah, I'm not totally getting what the.
[14:34] Mike: I mean like well but I mean if you were going to finger a woman in this case I mean Insert fingers in her and you you had just ah, been doing some gardening outside without gloves like you you could see her wanting you wash your hands So there is like a limit ah and in other words like men. Yeah I mean it's on some level. They do have an internal.
[14:43] Keith: Ah, yes.
[14:51] Mike: Orifice an internal genitalia that you could see causing some sensitivity but just licking of great of course. Yeah.
[14:53] Keith: Yeah but but there's a big gap between like going up there with dirty fingers and yeah, all right? Okay, this person says hot date but sex was meh on the first date give it time. First date with a gorgeous and brilliant woman. Wonderful dinner conversation could talk to this lady forever. She's 30 one and credible body clearly sexually experienced with both men and women she smells wonderful. Good kisser perfectly groomed and they has in parentheses I shaved for you but back at the hotel. The sex was just meh. She wasn't cold or uncaring let me pleasure she let me pleasure her all over but otherwise not especially active in the shower afterward she was happy to have me wash her all over but didn't reciprocate just putting this in as illustrative of the sex overall other than excellent blowjob technique. The bedroom part of the date was just meh. Not a relationship I would say with if this was going to be the norm going forward. 1 argument is this is real life. This girl is a real person and she just met you. What were you expecting the Kama Sutra just talk to her about it. Be kind, honest and open and give it a second date because you like everything else about her if it's met twice kindly sell her tell her sorry. Ah, just don't think we're sexually compatible and move on. Um, what could a woman do to like so turn a man off.
[16:15] Mike: Well okay I mean we were supposed to take it. Face value is claim that she's unbelievably attractive and smart and all these other things I mean that's not plausible, but okay if a woman is just just amazing in all ways and then she does something I mean it would be it would be not being into it.
[16:23] Keith: Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[16:34] Mike: Right? Oh which by the way did I say this already in the podcast that my my wife had this idea that that topic I think I didn't so we talked about um, it's relevant. We talked about ah the guy who lost his erection during sex and our our conclusion was it was because it was 2 episodes ago. Is he that that it was because his partner was fat.
[16:41] Keith: Okay.
[16:47] Keith: Ah.
[16:51] Keith: Right.
[16:54] Mike: Obese and my wife's argument which I thought was a decent one was no. It could be the woman's just not into it and that she had experienced that before basically a guy losing his erection because of that or at least that was her interpretation. She's like look I was really young at the time like I'm sure it wasn't my attractiveness and so yeah I mean it could just be that like she was just not.
[17:06] Keith: Um, yeah.
[17:13] Mike: Check she so he wasn't good enough. Basically.
[17:15] Keith: Um, I guess I mean he does say she had excellent blowjob technique which would be It's I know I I know that that that's not dispositive but good blowjob technique often involves enthusiasm.
[17:19] Mike: Well, but that I mean that actually I think.
[17:30] Mike: That's true. But maybe when he says technique it implies. Maybe he's thinking about like the technical skills. Yeah, so she's so maybe she deep throated him. Maybe she's got like a good arm like a hand twist ah motion which I've told you this before that I have a friend who like.
[17:31] Keith: I Know it's the mechanical. Yeah oh right? good.
[17:47] Mike: I Guess if you're if you're pantommiming giving a blowjob like there's a certain thing you would do with your hand or your mouth or something just to sort as a joke and he did that he pantommied it but he twisted his hand while he did it does that make sense. So it's like he's pantomiming it but instead of just like the you know the hand right? He's twisting and I thought this guy's given a blowjob before.
[17:51] Keith: Ah, oh okay, the in and out. Yeah, the twisting thing is. Something you see in porn a lot. It's something I've experienced in real life. It is It is kind of nice. But yeah, it's not I don't think it's a thing that a man like if I were doing that you know the Universal Blow Ju symbol. There's no way I would involve twisting.
[18:08] Mike: It was really like very like.
[18:21] Mike: Um I don't write I don't as a guy if you're pantomiing that don't twist your hand because I still remember it and I still suspect that he's yes it did it did. But yeah, but I still I mean actually to me that that actually so the.
[18:26] Keith: Ah, it screams it screams personal experience.
[18:36] Mike: It actually suggests that the good blowjob technique actually suggests even more that it could be lack of interest from her part. She just maybe she felt obliged to do it. Um, if you're if you're taking as it for granted that she was actually as attractive and intelligent as he says.
[18:40] Keith: Um, yeah.
[18:48] Keith: Right? So yeah I strongly agree that the most likely thing here is she was just not that interested or that into it and he was able to detect that subconsciously because he doesn't mention it that he that she may not have been into it. Could there be something else.
[19:01] Mike: Right.
[19:07] Mike: Yeah, of course there could be like she could be worried that she's going to have her period. She could be like have diarrhea or have nominal pain or.
[19:08] Keith: like like what oh no, no, no, no, no no is there something she could is there something she could do wrong like people complain about women starfishing you know, just sort of laying there. But first of all.
[19:20] Mike: Um, oh um.
[19:27] Keith: That might it might just be that she's submissive and she wants the man to take a lead second of all even if they are a starfish like I don't think that would matter for at least a half dozen sexual encounters before you got sort of bored of that because the newness of her would be more more dominant in the experience.
[19:28] Mike: I mean something that's not just yeah.
[19:43] Mike: Yeah, you could flip it around and ask I mean so so you want to probably exclude things like aggressively getting on her phone while he's penetrating or um, like just yet something where that shows total lack of interest. But yeah, you could turn it around and say.
[19:50] Keith: Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's still just lack of interest.
[19:59] Mike: Yeah, let's say you had a woman and she wanted to show lack of interest like let's see she's adversarial What what would she do that doesn't involve something extreme like that. Um starfishing is the obvious example I could think of um.
[20:10] Keith: I Think avoiding kissing like if you like go in for a Kiss turns turns away. It's not great.
[20:17] Mike: I Mean there could be I've I've I've encountered people that complained about women like talking incessantly like in ways that are like nonsensical to what's going on like maybe about their shopping list or their to-dos or something but that again I think he would have mentioned that that's sort of aggressive. So like something passive that you would do.
[20:27] Keith: Okay, right right.
[20:36] Mike: Um, I mean I guess like yeah starfishing and only wanting like kind of being very opposed to switching positions or some Oh and yeah, you know the the other thing is like clearly not enjoying it. So in other words like not moving up the pleasure she might have just been being honest that she wasn't yeah yeah.
[20:48] Keith: Okay, but Mike you're you're just rephrasing disinterest a bunch of different ways. There are plenty of like okay, let's say I reverse this? What can a man do to be bad at sex on a first date and like there's so many things right? like he can be you know like overly Paul.
[20:55] Mike: Um, true.
[21:07] Keith: Pawing too much too handsy. He can be sort of not reading the room. He could just do 1 position. He could beat switching positions too much. He can be going too hard. He can be you know too rough too soft like there's just a zillion things a man can do that a woman might be like whoa I don't want to have sex with this person again. But what can a woman do.
[21:20] Mike: Sure So he knew beat. Yeah.
[21:25] Keith: An enthusiastic woman who wants to please her man to be to to have the reaction that that this man had.
[21:33] Mike: Sure So there's there are things woman can do I mean you can she can be she can kiss in an uncomfortable way. The various sort of things that would describe as a bad kisser she could ah for example, ah do things to the guy that tickle him so it's like actually like you know, not it sort of becomes uncomfortable.
[21:36] Keith: Okay.
[21:46] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[21:49] Mike: So it's not like it's no longer like ah sensual it just becomes like silly. Um she could have like she could yeah I mean they're there like she could go into some weird mode where she like calls him daddy when he's not into that or like baby talks or something I mean I think there's like a series of things she could do.
[22:02] Keith: Um, yeah, okay, but all of those are sort of incompetence I Guess the things the men were doing were incompetent too. But the man the man really does have a lot more agency and and has to perform better I think.
[22:10] Mike: Maybe.
[22:17] Mike: Oh sure. Sure Yeah, that's right I mean yeah, the main place where that's the thing is he he removed the main place. The woman could fail which would be the blow there like she could definitely like ah you know things we've discussed she could use. She could have a very bad um, sort of.
[22:25] Keith: Right.
[22:35] Mike: Ah, how hard she presses with her mouth in her hand and so like that like have ah have a bad understanding of that and so it's just not doing much for him or or I'll alternately be too. You know push too hard.
[22:39] Keith: Yeah, a woman could yeah I've had women be too loud have complained about that on the show before where whether they're faking it or not. It's's obnoxious to my neighbors.
[22:50] Mike: Um, yeah.
[22:55] Mike: I think I think to yeah I think to put a finer point on your point. It's that a guy saying hey she was just bad at it doesn't make it doesn't mean anything because it requires some explanation a guy could be just bad at a woman I think you need an explanation to be like what do you mean? like yeah there has to be something specific.
[23:03] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right, you would be okay that yeah, that's why I brought this up I Thought maybe I was missing something but yeah, sort of confusing right? All right.
[23:16] Mike: Um, yeah, yeah.
[23:19] Keith: Now I agree by the way that the most likely thing is that she was just not interested and he's projecting the way he worded it. He probably didn't want to say that because he yeah there he's either oblivious or he didn't want to say it because he's embarrassed right.
[23:26] Mike: Then you know what's coming. Well, you know he's He's not going to get a second chance. So.
[23:39] Keith: Um, this one short but sweet is it creepy that my girlfriend wants to keep a tissue with my cum as a souvenir or is that normal.
[23:48] Mike: It's not normal I like that it's a tissue you should encourage her like you know those in like the well maybe even in the twentieth century I was going to say in the nineteenth century people would have little lockets I guess people still do this right with someone's picture in it.
[23:51] Keith: I did too I do too. Yeah.
[24:02] Keith: Oh yeah, okay yes.
[24:05] Mike: And they like wear it. He can encourage her to do that or maybe you know you can take ah a dead person's ashes and turn them into like a diamond or a brick or like little pebbles. They're various like um things you could do that with some semen, you'd be like hey I can you could save it in Amber and then make some jewelry out of it.
[24:21] Keith: Um, yes.
[24:24] Mike: Like he should actually it's kind of cool right? If you had a chick who wanted to do this. It's an opportunity because you could give her it would be hilarious to have her like wear your semen as like a necklace how she has It's like a pearl necklace. Ah yeah, right? So I mean he could take advantage of it I mean yeah, it's weird.
[24:36] Keith: That's a literal Well literal figurative Pearl necklace.
[24:43] Mike: Ah, it suggests that she wants to like Dna test him or something.
[24:44] Keith: Yeah I mean the first couple comments are funny this the guy says souvenir of what this is definitely not common or normal does she have multiple tissues marked with the name and date and best before timeline somebody says I'm picturing a giant shell full of neatly filed and labeled crumpled tissues. And I'm betting. The students is not the only name you'd find written in in front of one of them like she might be keeping trophies.
[25:07] Mike: Um, could be I don't I mean have you ever I mean I've never encountered anything like remotely like that from a woman. Well sure sure yeah, know that that makes sense to me. Ah.
[25:13] Keith: Um I I've heard of men keeping collections of panties around of ah conquests.
[25:23] Keith: But I have not heard of women keeping vials or crumpled tissues of semen.
[25:25] Mike: Yeah.
[25:29] Mike: No, that doesn't seem to me what would like what would be what would occur to them. It would be something more sentimental than that. So this is I'm but but that being said I mean she just has some sort of particular bent. It's just yeah, she's just being weird.
[25:43] Keith: Um I can imagine women somewhat worshiping their partners seamen like that's well, that's like a completely foreign thing to me. But I I find semen generally repulsive and so women appear not to.
[25:51] Mike: Go on.
[25:58] Mike: Okay.
[26:02] Keith: And so I can imagine that going to some place where they actually want to collect it. But.
[26:07] Mike: Okay, you wouldn't a Matt you wouldn't worship a woman's secretions would you? Okay so you don't understand that but you do know that there are men who pay good money for used underwear.
[26:13] Keith: No I would not.
[26:22] Keith: Yeah, you're aware the bathwater thing too right? Oh yeah, so like they'll take a bath and then they'll offer to sell their bathwater. Um, maybe you'll get a video of them actually taking said bath.
[26:25] Mike: I'm not sure I Assume it's used bathwater.
[26:37] Keith: And then I don't know if they vial it up into courts or twelve ounce containers or you know I don't know how big the container is but then they they mail it to you and then I don't know what the men do do they drink it. Do they just smell it. It's not going to smell like it anything.
[26:48] Mike: Right. Yeah, it's not.. It's going to be diluted. Whatever it would be it make it would make more sense to me for them to like send you their p or something like something more personal but maybe.
[26:55] Keith: Um, right.
[27:00] Keith: Yeah I think I mean there are things with like they'll wear the panties for a day where they'll like take a video of themselves like masturbating with like the panties pulled to the side or something and so you know you're getting that that that juice.
[27:05] Mike: Yes.
[27:17] Mike: Yeah, it's pretty hard to understand that behavior I don't I mean I just assume that men doing this are have just yeah, look there is this set of men that basically are excluded from getting sex for various reasons whether there there are a whole bunch of reasons that can happen. Ah I mean the yeah I mean like you could imagine you could ok.
[27:30] Keith: Ah.
[27:35] Mike: Imagine here's here's a way to imagine it that could actually apply to your life if you were and if you were sentenced to prison for the rest of your life something like this might become compelling because you you have no access. That's it you have permanent access cutoff and.
[27:42] Keith: Okay, ah.
[27:45] Keith: Right? right.
[27:52] Mike: Yeah, so then there are men who essentially are in metaphorical prisons because they're unattractive. They're old. They're stupid like there's something wrong with them that that basically prevents them or maybe they're just like in a marriage where like they have no access. Yeah.
[27:59] Keith: Right. I Think that's I think that's the right read? Yeah yeah, people get to like a sort of desperate place and they de-normalize.
[28:10] Mike: Yeah I don't actually know it's yeah, it's impossible to say but I think it's but I certainly if I had been put in prison when I was 18 for the rest of my life this kind of stuff would become compelling I've got to think have you you I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before but when when I see.
[28:18] Keith: Oh my God right? Yeah I would just go insane.
[28:30] Mike: Like a young man being sentenced to prison. That's always what I think of like for you know for life or whatever I think Wow that like this like people don't talk about this but like you're you're making this guy's life terrible right.
[28:34] Keith: Right? Yeah, you permanent ending to your sex life. Do they get to like masturbate. There's some physical need to right? like it could be considered.
[28:49] Mike: Um, I mean get to is like right? Ah I think that there.
[28:54] Keith: Could it be considered a human right violation to not provide people privacy to masturbate I can imagine like I can imagine a woke prison having a conversation about that at least.
[29:04] Mike: I think I might have mentioned this before but I watched a video about a women's prison where they removed the or they changed the nature of the curtains in the showers because women were masturbating in the showers of course. And yeah, right in a women's prison. It's easier because the women are more likely to pair up. Um.
[29:13] Keith: Um, yeah, we talked about that I think um.
[29:22] Mike: Because they're more flexible, hetero flexible or whatever typically but ah for men. Yeah I think it's an understood thing that it goes on but I think it's discouraged by the you know.
[29:25] Keith: Um, yeah.
[29:29] Keith: Maybe you could just even if you're in like a a room with like multiple people you can just masturbate in your bunk bed once a week and wouldn't take long. Ah yeah, but I mean.
[29:39] Mike: Yeah, it's really shitty though.
[29:45] Keith: I Think it's better than never orgasming for the rest of your life now I don't know either.
[29:47] Mike: Maybe I don't know. Yeah, probably but I but I could see I could see in that environment wanting some of these bathwater. Not the semen I bet Semen tissues are probably pretty easy to get if you want them in prison. That's not. Is not what a guy would want is not what I would want Anyway, yeah.
[30:05] Keith: No, it's it's not um, yeah, okay, let's let's let's move on this person says my husband doesn't want me. Every time I try to initiate he a 31 year old man pushes me a 23 year old female nice away and when I bring it up to him. He gets mad so he's pushing her away. We are only doing it once a week when he get when he gets mad. He withholds from me and tells me it's my fault. We aren't going to I always try to seduce him. But he pushes me away. There's never a right time to ask for his attention. He never gives me time and when he does he throws it in my face. He's either always playing video games watching Tv or eating and once he's done. He just wants to go straight to sleep when I get pissed at him for not wanting to I yell at him. He'd rather look at other women online than the one in front of him and he gets even angrier I'm so sexually frustrated and I'm only 23 I've had only 2 other partners beside him and I sometimes resent marrying him because I signed my life away. What should I do? um.
[31:08] Mike: Yeah.
[31:12] Keith: Problem here is not that he has low libido I I think he's just not interested in her and he's erected like all these defenses right? He's like trying to gaslight or that it's her fault. You know he there's never the right time. He's playing video games or you know he's eating.
[31:15] Mike: Because of the Porn. Her.
[31:31] Keith: Right? Like he just is just created these various walls.
[31:33] Mike: Do you think that he's ah you know one of the our friends on the having fun hobbying subreddit out mongering with prostitutes. Do you think he's just using the internet porn like do you think that? okay go on. Yeah.
[31:43] Keith: No no I think he's probably also frustrated by their current situation but doesn't have you know doesn't have the tools to communicate with her What the real problems are.
[31:50] Mike: I don't.
[31:58] Mike: So if you so you've you? Well you may know more about this type of situation than I do but like the ah so the solution for a guy is to just use porn and masturbate and use that as a ah I mean.
[32:16] Mike: She's It's surprising to me that her willingness doesn't break him down doesn't make him go okay fine. Oh.
[32:19] Keith: I Think here her willingness makes it worse like her desperation just turns him off even more like to the extent that he would be attracted to her. He probably would rather be the initiator but he could just tell that like she always wants it and.
[32:27] Mike: Okay, but if you're.
[32:37] Mike: Okay, so in that in that circumstance. What do you think would be the blockage to him just moving on like why is he staying married. Ok, ok so he.
[32:38] Keith: He you know so he erects all these defenses to like try to stop her from even trying. But.
[32:49] Keith: Oh, he's probably too much of a worse.
[32:56] Mike: He So he what he wants to do is to go bang other checks but he's too much of a was to in they enact that well fair point. Um, but but okay, fine. But it's but it's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
[32:59] Keith: I mean I think the general nail experience is that? yes.
[33:08] Keith: But yeah I don't think he wants to be celibate for the rest of his life. This isn't how he imagined it either. He would rather still be very attracted to his partner but he's not and so he doesn't know how to tell her that because she's going to get like really worked up. Um, and.
[33:21] Mike: I Feel like yeah I don't really understand that because yeah I mean this is you and I've discussed this like I think that the I don't understand I I Just think that like the your your brain is designed to give you additional pleasure when you're having sex with another partner.
[33:26] Keith: Um, yeah.
[33:39] Mike: And so I would think that at some point the guy would just be like oh okay, fine this is going to be a lot better and he would just do it. But maybe that's what happens it's like every like six months he does it and then he gets angry again.
[33:40] Keith: Um, yeah.
[33:46] Keith: I mean I had this thought once when I was dating someone that I was no longer sexually interested in and I thought about like how how hurtful it would be to hear this and so I'm not going to say who it was I've had a lot of relationships where I become less sexually interested but in in this one I was just absolutely not.
[33:57] Mike: Okay, oh sure sure.
[34:06] Keith: And I thought to myself I think I would rather have sex with literally any other female in the world than my partner like yeah and it's not. It's just I just wasn't.
[34:12] Mike: Wow And what brought it what brought it to that point I mean just generally.
[34:21] Keith: Just was completely uncompellling to me I don't know why my brain was doing that I think my brain was telling me to the extent. It's possible to breed with this person. You've done that it's time to move on. Yeah, like my my brain is sort of enlightened on that front in a way I think other male brains. It's confusing to me that although.
[34:31] Mike: Oh okay, that makes sense.
[34:41] Keith: Other male brains don't have this problem as often as I do.
[34:41] Mike: It could be yeah, you could you could imagine what would the world be like if that were like 1 of the knock on effects of birth control if that if if basically like male brains were designed and maybe yours is such that you know they'll they'll try to impregnate the woman some number of times and then at some point the brain just goes look.
[34:51] Keith: Um.
[35:01] Mike: Obviously I can't either. She's infertile where I can't do it and so I'm just going to become totally unattracted during move on like what would happen I Well but concretely I don't think that's how the male brain works except for you. You think do you think you would.
[35:03] Keith: Um, right right? I think it's I think it's adaptive. Yeah, it makes sense.
[35:15] Keith: Um, it feels like that's a mine works. But yeah I agree.
[35:20] Mike: The attraction would have gone up if you had impregnated her. You're like oh it worked maybe you need a woman to need to get an abortion every like six months
[35:22] Keith: I Wonder I've I Never I've never had that experience I don't know. Yeah, but but I don't know if my brain could could intellectualize that part but if she did get pregnant and I had a child. Ah yeah, would I like regain attraction.
[35:38] Mike: Ah.
[35:42] Keith: You know after after she gave birth. Yeah.
[35:43] Mike: Right? You'd be like it worked like her her body's functional right? No, it's true that for for some on some level for your brain for male brains like female birth control is very confusing. It's like why aren't they getting pregnant your brain like there's some part of your brain that doesn't get that and.
[35:57] Keith: Right.
[36:00] Mike: On the other hand though I mean my impression with animals is they don't see the linkage between sex and in other words seeing the linkage between sex and reproduction is I think kind of a higher capability. Although I mean like even birds can be monogamous so they must know they must know oh that means I only fertilize or you know.
[36:14] Keith: Um, yeah.
[36:17] Keith: Yeah I think there's I think with some of those primitive animals. The thing that's going on is in order for the families to be safe. It's important for the male to be around in a way that.
[36:19] Mike: This this Ag or whatever.
[36:34] Keith: Isn't necessarily the case with humans.
[36:36] Mike: Yeah, but my point is just that that means that you can have a very simple brain structure that enforces some that enforces this like it doesn't have to be a higher ah higher he doesn't require thinking like knowing that oh I put my semen there and then this happens could be.
[36:44] Keith: Um, oh yeah, right.
[36:50] Mike: Knowing in quotes I should say is something a very small animal can do and so it's like okay it could be in your brain somewhere. So. It's not actually impossible that there's just some unconscious Activity. You're like look honey I can't I can't look you either need to get pregnant. Or you could. You could see what happens if you have like a partner who gains weight periodically.
[37:09] Keith: Yeah I think it's the variety that my brain is is craving but I don't think I don't think you can trick your brain into um, ah for example, oh boy. Yeah no I don't want to say this sorry I know that's.
[37:12] Mike: Um, well sure.
[37:22] Mike: You can't make it general. Yeah say something that's close to it. Maybe you can don't have to reveal too much.
[37:24] Keith: I Yeah fuck it I'll say it.
[37:31] Keith: Ah, it's not generalizable I Um I dated someone who is an identical twin and toward the end of our relationship I was starting to lose some of my sexual interest in her but I didn't find.
[37:37] Mike: Okay, oh yeah.
[37:50] Keith: I didn't lose sexual interest in her identical twin. Yeah, like my brain was somehow knew that this person that looked exactly the same. Yeah like yeah yeah.
[37:54] Mike: Um, and that's fascinating. You could have you could have made that okay.
[38:02] Mike: Right? So it wasn't so it's not the way she looks. It's her personality that you lost the attraction to.
[38:07] Keith: Like I was always attracted to like my partner more than this than her sister but I don't know I I liked my partner better for some reason I'm not sure they were both. They were both fine people I was just more sexually interested in my partner I don't know I don't know I don't I mean.
[38:10] Mike: Why wait Why was that. But I mean you have an and you can't introspect because she like didn't chew gum or something I mean like I would I've never dated an identical to one. Okay I would think you would be around close. Yeah.
[38:27] Keith: She had various properties that I yeah I mean she just yeah I mean there's also the problem here like I don't want to speak in like super specifics here because yeah, like if either of these people ever listens like it's super obvious like I.
[38:36] Mike: I got it I got it.
[38:42] Mike: Oh because you don't want the sister to know that you're attracted or were attracted to her I got it wouldn't that be wouldn't that be obvious just setting aside this particular um couple or this particular pair of sisters that must be always an awkward situation in general.
[38:44] Keith: Yeah, well and I yeah I've dated a limited number of identical twins.
[38:59] Mike: Not I'm just theorizing here because if you're if a if you have 2 women that are identical twins and a guy is dating one of them. He's definitely super attracted to the other one like it's not confusing right? I'm trying to make it general here.
[39:07] Keith: Um, yeah.
[39:11] Keith: It was. It wasn't like that like for me, you know my sexual interest. Yeah, but now it's I mean I think I could say like a reasonable thing here that like isn't offensive to them. Yeah, like my partner I was you know it starts at like a 10 and then over time.
[39:18] Mike: Okay.
[39:25] Mike: Earth.
[39:29] Keith: Faster for me than apparently for most other people it it wanes and to her sister. It was always like a 2 or something right? like it wasn't like oh unlike passionately attracted to your to her sister like constantly fantasizing about threesomes I wasn't it just it's it's something like.
[39:38] Mike: For what.
[39:45] Keith: The way that like fathers aren't attracted to their own daughters or like if you it's not just father's like if you apparently like if you are around somebody when they're young like even when they reach sexual maturity. You don't become sexually attracted to them right right.
[39:54] Mike: Sure, yeah yeah I have that with ah mary man nieces by marriage sure um, but the the ah but even at the beginning of your relationship you weren't it was it was a 10 and a two. It wasn't like a ten and a seven
[40:10] Keith: There's a big gap. Yeah, no, it was like a 10 in a 2
[40:11] Mike: Wow, That's shocking I would think at the beginning you would be like look I would I would switch if I you know.
[40:16] Keith: Right? But interestingly like as my interest in my partner like wayned to like a 0 or something close to 0 that it remained a 2 with the sister. No it didn't go up but it didn't go down either and you you would think if my body.
[40:24] Mike: Yeah, it didn't go to 4
[40:36] Keith: Is and my brain is doing some processing about like well you know the the field is sown here you you should move on. Ah, it would do the same to the.
[40:40] Mike: Ah.
[40:45] Mike: Well except that you don't know if the other one is on impregnable. So I mean I don't think this is actually what's going on. But I think I think it's more likely just.
[40:51] Keith: That's true. Yeah, that's actually a good point and also the brain probably doesn't have adaptations for dealing with identical twins either.
[41:02] Mike: Yeah I think it's more likely that what's going on there is that you have various personality conflicts with the 1 twin that and she becomes sort of pedestrian to you right? you you you know how things work with her and the other one remains somewhat mysterious and though so she retains some amount of allure because of that. Yeah, so.
[41:15] Keith: Um, yeah, that seems right.
[41:22] Mike: And be funny if it was for the other thing but I it's interesting me that was a tenon to I would not intuitively guess that I would intuitively guess that it would be confusing and kind of high for the other twin meaning you would like sort of be okay with switching anyway.
[41:31] Keith: Yeah.
[41:38] Keith: Right? All right? Let's move on this person says my girlfriend told me to call her names in bed then cried when I did. So yeah, this is exactly as it sounds my girlfriend. Ah, she's 19 and he's 20 Asked me during foreplay to call her names specifically slut and whore. So You know I did it when things heated up a bit more I started whispering in her ear about how she'll be my slut tonight or that she's a good little whore because she did something I like at some point I was going down on her and she started sobbing and I'm like Baby. What's up then she said she actually didn't like.
[41:56] Mike: Okay.
[42:09] Mike: Slide.
[42:13] Keith: Like it that I called her those things and it wasn't how she expected because I said it So seriously she felt I was actually insulting her. Why would she ask me to verbally insult her during sex and then cry because I did um.
[42:17] Mike: So.
[42:24] Mike: Yeah, that's not very cool of her.
[42:29] Keith: Yeah I mean the top comment here is you know sometimes we order the pistachio ice cream and then realize we actually don't like pistachio give her lots of cuddles and kisses and reassure her that you won't say it like that again. Um, yeah.
[42:40] Mike: I Mean the shittiest thing she did actually was to he let him keep doing it and then not bring it up until afterward. It's like well why don't you just stop him? Yeah, okay, fines you weren't sure and then he okay. Okay.
[42:49] Keith: I Don't think it's clear from this when the various things were communicated I mean he said she brought it up while he was going down on her so that was at least during.
[42:58] Mike: Um, he was calling her a slut wall going down on her. That's not that I mean ok if that's not what she wanted she. That's not the time like.
[43:01] Keith: Yeah, that's a little was it muffled or how did he.
[43:15] Mike: I Don't know I'm not an expert on dirty the dirty talk area but I believe that the time when you're supposed to deploy these phrases is when you're being very dominant right? So it's not like hey sit on my face and then she's sitting on your face and you're like straight shut now right? Yeah yeah.
[43:21] Keith: Right.
[43:26] Keith: Yeah, it's not when you're done there carpet munching you sort of color horror all right I look the order of the events here is unclear. Maybe he called her a horror drink foreplay and then he went down on her and then she started thinking about it and you got upset.
[43:34] Mike: It's kind of funny. Yeah I mean if anything she'd be calling you names. Okay.
[43:44] Mike: You don't it doesn't so okay, so all right fine. Yeah, you would you switch you alternate between PIV and giving oral to the woman without any concern about the fact that your penis has been in there and maybe dribbled some until afterward. You would not want to give oral after you.
[43:45] Keith: Not sure.
[43:54] Keith: I Don't worry about cross contamination right? Yeah after I've column I'm not going to go down on her or I'm extremely unlikely right.
[44:04] Mike: Okay, because for ah for some period we've discussed this. There's say you know after some period of time it switches. Ah, but okay, ah so it could be that he's alternating and there they were doing some Pi I V activity and that was when he said these things which would make more sense.
[44:17] Keith: Could be Yes, Yes, do you think he should worry that she's putting him in a box where she doesn't want to be objectified by him.
[44:21] Mike: And he called her a slut and a whore. Okay, ah.
[44:35] Keith: And is that dangerous.
[44:37] Mike: I Don't think that's the worry the worry I would have is that she has a thing that she get that she finds hot and he's not it for whatever reason he she can't do with him and so at some point she's going to seek out our way Hook I Okay yeah, she's going to seek out another partner that.
[44:49] Keith: Yeah I guess we're saying the same thing in different ways though, right? That's what I meant by dangerous. Yeah.
[44:56] Mike: Where it works got it? Yes I think that is a substantial risk here that like that. Yeah she for whatever reason wants I don't yeah I guess it's just submissive right? She wants to him.
[45:07] Keith: I mean it doesn't have to be that it could be that like maybe she used to like that kind of stuff and now that she's have her first healthy relationship. She realizes blah blah blah. But yeah that she made the request implies that something was feeling unfulfilled and that she didn't. Like it when he tried and I said it's still I think fulfilled. So yeah, there could be some issues there.
[45:29] Mike: I I have never had somebody make a request like this to me have have you.
[45:39] Keith: A request of various things for me to call or say Yes, no yeah, ah now I mean yeah.
[47:28] Mike: So have you ever had a woman make a request like this of any kind like oh I'd like you to call me this or that I never have.
[47:31] Keith: Right? Yeah I think people have praise Kinks and whatever the opposite of a praise Kink is and for some people that's really important. But I think most just want to feel like they're really being enjoyed appreciated.
[47:47] Mike: Right.
[47:51] Keith: So yeah I mean you can do it nonverbally too right? Like yeah, it's a lot of it is just in your actions. Um.
[47:55] Mike: Yeah I think that the in general I think that the types of verbalizations that are most that I've experienced as appreciated by female partner are ones that show that I'm into it or excited ones that sort of Demean her I don't think typically yeah.
[48:09] Keith: I Yeah show them by spreadsheets scoring all my orgasms and show them that they've they've done Well um, no I do not um I have spreadsheets for a lot of things I do not for cataloging my orgasms.
[48:15] Mike: Okay.
[48:24] Mike: That's right? So it's like it's like yeah this feels good or I'm you know.
[48:30] Keith: No, they would not no, It's just ah, there's moaning and the intent and passion of your kissing And yeah, there's various nonverbal things.
[48:35] Mike: What is your? what is the action you take to show that it feels good. You like give a thumbs up or like ah of the bullseye sign like right on? Oh my lord You don't have a spreadsheet for all your orgasms. Okay.
[48:46] Keith: Um, yeah I agree Yeah, all right I wanted to I think this might.
[48:53] Mike: It's not impossible but you don't that would be interesting, but okay, yeah, ah no, they wouldn't like that you're a You're moderately.
[48:59] Keith: Yeah, it's hard to know like I don't know how praise and Anti-praise Kinks What is the opposite of a praise kink right? Yeah I don't know how those things develop or what exactly they're looking for for those but in some cases It's probably they just want to the.
[49:13] Mike: Right? Yeah, agreed there I mean I think but yeah, this one is more specific like yeah suggests that there's something that she's looking for that's required some conversation. Um, yeah I don't know.
[49:19] Keith: Feel like the person's more into it. But in some case I think there's something more to it like they have had some sort of trauma in their past or something that often manifests from trauma if not actual explicit. Yeah, okay this person says why is the initial penetration. One of the best parts of sex. Okay I wanted to read this because I wanted to describe.
[49:28] Mike: Like maybe she wants to feel possessed by him like this is my pussy or something like it's something anyway I don't know.
[49:37] Keith: But my experience is around the first penetration is this a psychological thing does anyone else, get this obviously nothing beats the climax that happens later on but there's something special for me about the beginning of intercourse. It's like this otherworldly feeling like we've entered a different universe where time doesn't matter just our closeness and feeling each other this might have been written by a woman.
[49:40] Mike: I Don't know abuse I'm not sure.
[49:56] Keith: Just our closeness and feeling each other's skin to skin I Just get this sense of comfort a boost in confidence and even more desire to satisfy her. This is my take as a man maybe women see it differently I'm not sure is it a highlight for you. That's still suspiciously sounds like it.
[49:59] Mike: Yeah, they're working through it.
[50:10] Mike: Okay, yeah.
[50:15] Keith: And like declaring this is my take as a man makes me a little bit more suspicious that it might not actually be a man. But yeah for me, it's not the for me. It feels really fucking good and I actually have to actively try not to come like in those first like 5 strokes.
[50:27] Mike: Yeah, yeah, it sounds like a woman.
[50:33] Keith: Like not always but pretty often. It's like all right just like make sure yeah like my body really really really likes that part. Um I mean it's obviously the more excited I am and I'm generally more excited with newer partners. Um, the the worse this.
[50:37] Mike: Okay, okay.
[50:47] Mike: Maybe it's a Trans woman.
[50:52] Keith: Quote Unquote problem is but yeah like I often have the experience that it's like man. Yeah I got to be careful not to come here and then once things like get going I'm fine and normal. But um.
[51:01] Mike: Um, ah.
[51:06] Keith: Yeah I think the actual physical part of it feels really really really good and then yeah I mean it's like the culmination of some anticipation.
[51:08] Mike: Wow.
[51:14] Mike: Even with a partner that you've been with more than 5 times. Okay.
[51:26] Mike: Um, okay.
[51:29] Keith: Right? Yeah, the the derivative of the sensation is is maximum there.
[51:35] Mike: So it's a new sensation and there's a little bit less lubrication. Those are the 2 things that are obvious.
[51:49] Mike: Sure yeah, and I think the woman has a similar experience right? I mean first of all, it does feel good and there it's like a it's like a it's the beginning of something that then becomes more you get used to it as it's going on like it doesn't it's not.
[51:49] Keith: Yeah, the the first comment I just noticed is ohha I assumed you were a woman because the feeling is identical to what you describe like that that's sort of interesting I I almost wish this was a woman because I guess I am a little bit curious about what it feels like when they're first getting penetrated.
[52:07] Mike: Ah, surprising or whatever. It's not as new of a sensation.
[52:08] Keith: I Mean it's a moment of like maximum submission.
[52:11] Mike: Right? That's right? So you yeah for both of you. It's that way and it makes Yeah I mean all of that makes sense to me I don't know about the closeness thing or whatever. That's some overlay.
[52:16] Keith: Right? Like they're allowing themselves to get you know violently penetrated I heard that word on a podcast ah a few a few weeks ago and they were describing the act of sex is like. Generically violent like almost definitionally violent and the person he was doing the podcast withs with was like contesting the use of the word violent and this person was like no like it just is like the the man is always like perpetrating violence and so yeah, that's why I use that word there is.
[52:35] Mike: New.
[52:46] Mike: Sort of I mean it's yeah I Guess that's right depends on who's ah pursuing whom right.
[52:51] Keith: I was testing it out. ok ok yeah it was it was Andrew Sullivan it was Andrew Sullivan who was saying it by the way.
[52:57] Mike: Violently.
[53:20] Keith: Yeah.
[53:25] Mike: That's a this is a radical. This is a radical feminist trope from like the 1970 s I think just you know like that all set all sex is rape. Yeah, okay um I mean that's not.
[53:28] Keith: Right? I think yeah I think it this come down comes down to pedantry right? like it's.
[53:40] Mike: I think that I actually ironically think that that perspective is ah somewhat radically anti-feminist because it negates the actual experience of women I don't think that women typically view it as violent I mean it can be violent. You can have an experience that is but I think the most of the time it's sort of it's I mean it's not.
[53:45] Keith: Right.
[53:58] Mike: Like it's It's not I don't know is it violent when the dental Hygienist puts their finger in your mouth to do I mean?? yeah. Well, but it's it's well no, but I think the interesting thing about it is it's it's It's basically mansplaining It's basically saying oh well, it would be violent to me if somebody inserted something in my anus and it's like yeah except this isn't an anus and it's like it's not.. It's not I don't know I mean like ah I'm I'm often.
[54:09] Keith: Yeah.
[54:19] Keith: Yeah I mean yeah I mean if I if I stroked my arm for even half an hour I would get an abrasion sore.
[54:27] Mike: Impressed I'm not even mad I'm impressed by the amount of time that camgirls can spend putting things in and out of that orifice I mean I've seen not i've't watched the whole time. But I've gone back and forth just out of curiosity and seen a woman known that a woman for so for say 3 to 5 hours was doing this. The entire time. But I mean they were yeah so obviously it's not It's an it's an area of the body that's capable of it's it's violent is a strong word I think typically it's it's not that.
[54:52] Keith: Yeah.
[55:00] Mike: Probably yeah so it's not yeah, it's a little bit different from that I think yeah sort of misunderstands the female experience but in terms of I mean I think that the look the stretching experience is pleasurable and it's a new for that.
[55:05] Keith: Yeah I mean fair enough but this person says like we've entered a different universe where time doesn't matter just our closeness and feeling each other's skin to skin. That's just not.
[55:16] Mike: Encounter experience. They're having so in the same way that for the guy that sort of compression experience and pushing and so forth starts feeling good like I think it's analogous. So yeah, it doesn't so it doesn't surprise me at all that a woman would say the same thing would say oh this this this is what I would say to just like descriptions of orgasms that where you remove the gender.
[55:23] Keith: Really my experience I mean it can feel very emotionally bonding but in that moment it's ah pretty dominated by a physical sensation.
[55:35] Mike: And gendered stuff like semen typically you can't tell what the gender is unless it's a woman who does things like squirt and has 57 orgasms in a row then it's not real.
[55:41] Keith: Ah.
[55:54] Mike: That's a stupid thing to say I mean that's.
[55:58] Keith: Right.
[56:04] Keith: Right? I mean I think in my mind I was imagining that a woman was pretending to be a man here and then she wanted to show this to her boyfriend and say like see this is how you're supposed to because she wanted everyone to agree with her. But.
[56:04] Mike: I would agree with that I mean maybe when you're really young and it's like 1 of your first 50 encounters or something you have more of that experience because it's so unique and new and sort of surprising that someone's willing to do this with you etc. but but yeah
[56:23] Keith: Um, yeah.
[56:24] Mike: The only look the only time I would have used words like that to describe it is if I was like trying to cajole like in high school I was like trying to cajole a girl and like liking me more cajoles to the wrong word. But like if ah yeah I would basically describe it in these very flowery terms. But that's not how I would think about it internally.
[56:29] Keith: Right? All right? Well, we're a little early here. But I think that's a good place to wrap that will do it for this episode of your mileage may vary. We cherish feedback, especially negative feedback since that's the most actionable it helps us get better. So if you have any hit us up. We pay $10 for any feedback received even if it's short so you don't have to write an essay. We also enjoy listener questions. So if you have any for us the experts via them away toymmvpod at Gmail.com and if you'd like us to keep it private.
[56:48] Mike: Oh fair point I mean the guy does like it but he likes it because it's just feels good I mean that's mostly why the woman likes it too. It feels good. You know it's It's relaxing and pleasurable and whatever.
[57:07] Keith: That is to say for us not to use it on the show just say so in email and we'll of course honor that we thank you for your listenership and we look forward to catching you next week on your mileage may vary.

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Episode 126: Dating Repartee, Cum Souvenirs, Mediocre Sex With Beautiful Women, Double Your Pleasure

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