Your Mileage May Vary: Female Fake Orgasm Spectrum, Too Long, Too Short, Male Climax Clues

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith today's juicy topics include a discussion about whether penises swell before an orgasm an unexpected open marriage scenario the betrayal of revealing faked orgasms and. More I'm Keith my co-host is Mike what's up Mike.
[00:22] Mike: Ah, doing well I'm here in Southern California so now I'm a little bit out of town. Not massively as you have been um, my wife and I were talking about this question of not the faked orgasm but well I mean it goes along with that like the.
[00:28] Keith: Um, in.
[00:40] Mike: Woman purporting to have large numbers of orgasms and an early sexual encounter with a guy. Ah, and um, yeah I mean she what her her view was basically that it could be kind of like the aftershocks of 1 like in other words.
[00:45] Keith: Um, ah.
[00:57] Mike: Let's say that she has one that's legitimate like very clearly she's having one and then like you continue for another 15 minutes like there may be some experience. She's having that she defines that way. She also is very like ah she is she generally agrees with or she she brought it up on her own. But so sort of it's something we've talked about where it's like for a woman. It's less clear like it becomes a definitional thing right? like.
[00:59] Keith: Yeah.
[01:17] Mike: How do you define the word for a woman for a man. It's easier exactly yeah because for a woman. It's not like you you can You can actually sit around and debate. Ah what? which what level of of of pleasure you have to attain or whatever. What experience you need to get to.
[01:21] Keith: Um, the word orgasm. Yeah.
[01:32] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean we've been through this a bunch of times but just as a reminder for our newer listeners women have something that's quite analogous to the male orgasm and then they seem to have some other experience. That they often call an orgasm that is less analogous to a male orgasm and that that second thing is the thing that I think women who are aggressively multiorgasmic is that's the thing that they're having many times is that.
[02:07] Mike: Sure. Yeah, so 1 thing that I said was I said I thought let's say it' yourre inate. Maybe let's say it's the first time you're with a guy protect that particular guy and if you have if you have this. So so the woman hat ma there. They're 2 sides to this coin I think the woman might have an incentive to.
[02:07] Keith: Is that a good summary of our previous discussions on this topic.
[02:17] Keith: Um, ah yeah.
[02:27] Mike: Really have a really really good time so like be very effusive in how happy she is about the experience because then that might make him feel a certain level of pride. Well um, let's let's just let's just say from this guy's standpoint.
[02:32] Keith: Have a good time or pretend to have a good time.
[02:41] Mike: To to give the appearance. She may be also having a good time but like sort of like amp it up a little bit in how she reacts and talks about it and so forth on the other hand. Ah so so that would then maybe make the guy. Yep.
[02:43] Keith: Me.
[02:49] Keith: Because that that makes the man feel more Macho or cool or something.
[02:59] Mike: Yeah I mean basically ah you know the? ah he might think to himself. Um, she's she's thinking to herself. Well she wants him to want to do this again. She doesn't want this to be the only time they do it So like it's like okay this makes it more fun for him like it's good.
[03:06] Keith: Okay, okay, okay.
[03:13] Mike: And it's you know it doesn't It's no skin off her back to sort of be more vocal more sort of enjoying herself on the flip side I was thinking Well if in the case where the guy is for whatever reason decides to move On. It's kind of embarrassing for her right? because it's like she's had this really like he then feels like he's kind of you know. Won the battle or whatever because he's caused her to feel all these things caused her to react this way and then he ghosts her moves on and then that sort of could be make her feel bad. Of course if she knows in her brain in her mind that she was just faking or or sort of exaggerating a lot of it then it might not make her feel bad. Yeah.
[03:49] Keith: Ah, it's a double double reverse double double cross. Yeah right? But yeah, that doesn't actually benefit her because the man still gets to feel Ah, whatever the opposite of emasculate it is.
[03:52] Mike: Right.
[04:05] Keith: Masculated.
[04:07] Mike: Sure, but maybe maybe they're like I guess I guess the end of this would be kind of like there's no, there may be no downside actually for her in her life experience to sort of having an exaggerated response like this there. It was the the 1 downside of course would be ah if they then start dating.
[04:16] Keith: I see.
[04:24] Mike: And her response becomes less exaggerated than she's set herself up for a tricky situation right.
[04:27] Keith: Yeah I mean faking orgasms is dangerous that is a very dangerous road to go down because I mean we have a topic later where somebody's going to find out that somebody was faking but generally it's not. If you're faking your partner's not going to get better at actually giving them to you and then he's probably going to be pretty upset when he finds out that you've been faking and so.
[04:56] Mike: But in a world in a world where I mean you're sort of living men sort of live in the world of ah like it's like Quantum mechanics men live in the world of particles and when women will live in the world of waves and probabilities. So for a man. It's clearly binary right? and so faking for a man faking would be.
[05:08] Keith: Ah, all.
[05:13] Keith: Right.
[05:13] Mike: Let's say have a condomon and you kind of like rush to the bathroom and hide it because there's nothing in there right? and and she would chew it immediately know whereas for a woman faking could actually be a spectrum. There's everything from she's just totally not enjoying it and completely fakes everything to actually it feels pretty good, but there's like she's exaggerating a bit and so you see what I'm saying. There's like this.
[05:31] Keith: Yeah.
[05:32] Mike: There's there's there's an amount of thinking that could happen and it's not always going to be cut and dried.
[05:36] Keith: Yeah,, but especially for the women that are having the orgasm experience that is most analogous to a man's they yeah like if you fake that. Like okay it can be a bit of a challenge for many women to reach orgasm and you want to steer your man and give him some feedback that makes that less challenging and faking is like basically the opposite of that you're reinforcing bad behaviors and so.
[05:57] Mike: Her.
[06:10] Mike: Sure But I mean I'm talking about. For example, a woman like a woman who let's see after she's gotten off ah being penetrated after that by the man, let's say he hasn't yet and so he's they're still having sex that can still be pretty pleasurable for her. Which is not really analogous to a man's experience right? I mean the man for most men it kind of isn't particularly pleasurable because he's in his refractory period and so forth and so she is having pleasure. She's enjoying it. It's just she might be you know and he also did succeed I mean she did get there right? it so would just be this sort of.
[06:35] Keith: Um.
[06:41] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[06:45] Mike: So that gets either being something adaptive there.
[06:48] Keith: Um, ah yeah, yeah, who knows I mean the incentives here are not perfectly aligned. Um, no.
[06:58] Mike: That's right and there is truly an experience that women have there that men do not have which is they can still sort of enjoy the experience kind of in a lot and you know significantly after their first climax whereas the guy I mean most men just pretty much dealt. They want to.
[07:08] Keith: Right? right.
[07:15] Keith: Rollover and right right? um or baseball or whatever it might be um, okay, let's move on to our first topic here. So this person asks do women notice when a guy is about to come just by how his dick feels.
[07:15] Mike: Move on. Yeah, they start thinking about video games right.
[07:32] Keith: Often Noticed that women's moaning and breathing during sex seems to intensify just when I'm about to come even when I don't signal anything about it Verbally I know my dick becomes the hardest and biggest the closer I get to coming could that be it and does this mean the woman would orgasm easier if my dick was this hard and Bloodfield from the beginning. It's not that I'm fucking with a flaccid one just talking about the normal subtlety. Every guy has I guess Okay I disagree with some parts of his premise. Do you.
[07:58] Mike: Okay, why don't you say it first because I'm not I'm not actually sure.
[08:01] Keith: Well, okay, so he says first he says I often notice that women's moaning and breathing during sex seems to a test to intensify just when I'm about to come even when I don't signal anything about it verbally I think women can tell when a man's about to come but I don't think it's because of some. Subtle swelling in his penis.
[08:21] Mike: Okay, but he's not that part of the premise wasn't saying that that was saying that the woman's response changes right? and I've definitely noticed that. Yeah.
[08:27] Keith: Yeah, yeah, of course, but they can tell that I mean your breathing is changing. That's why.
[08:34] Mike: Sure and particularly if they've been with you if more than a you know, certain number of times they know there may be some pattern to your behaviors that kind of lead up to that So that there's some tells.
[08:40] Keith: Um, yeah, okay, so thing two that I disagree with let's say that there is x volume of blood in your penis when it's I don't know regular erect and then in the 10 seconds leading up to orgasm. What. Coefficient. Do you have to add to x like how much more blood volume is there in your penis like that that's making it harder or possibly slightly larger.
[09:07] Mike: Yeah I haven't noticed it to do the I mean okay to answer your question I'm not sure it can't be more than like 5% or something.
[09:13] Keith: Um, yeah I feel like 5 is even yeah I don't think so I think it's on the order of of like 1 or none.
[09:23] Mike: Yeah I mean the thing that I Yeah, the thing that I've noticed is that it can seem to get sort of tighter and more kind of um, what's the word like more rigid more full of blood. Whatever more like a you know, blown up. But actually during the the orgasmic contractions not like leading up to it I have not noticed that in my personal experience I have noticed before that like it can yeah almost I mean I Yeah mean I suspect. There's something about the muscle contractions that causes.
[09:42] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[09:54] Mike: More like because blood is constantly flowing. It's not like the blood is just pooled in your penis like that would be dangerous right? It is still flowing through there. It's just restricted in a certain way. Um, and so you could imagine the muscle contractions prevent you know preventing some of it more of the flow from coming out and so it does get a little more turgid as they say.
[09:56] Keith: Right? right.
[10:11] Keith: Right? Turgid yeah soft g ah yeah I just I don't know I guess I'll have to pay attention to this. But I mean you do get harder the more aroused you are.
[10:12] Mike: Turgid. Yeah.
[10:29] Keith: Um, and as my ah arousal shifts or there's like perturbations in my arousal. There might be more or less blood volume. But I yeah I mean I think it's on the order of less than 5% or the vacillations.
[10:42] Mike: Okay, but this is still the premise you're taking issue with I mean there's gonna there's a separate issue which is whether she could she she doesn't have really the right sensory apparatus in that part of her body to to make this kind of fine distinction.
[10:52] Keith: Um, yeah I mean we know I mean we know that women sometimes can't even tell when a man orgasms let alone like when they're building toward an orgasm like.
[11:00] Mike: Well, they typically can't unless they are use other cuues for it I mean Okay, maybe there's some subtle like there's a movement of of it up and down right. There's a.
[11:08] Keith: Um, yeah I think they can sometimes feel the pulsing depending on the angle of attack of the penis.
[11:14] Mike: So that well this is something that I I discussed with Allie like her argument was that it's not the pulsing. It's the it's the pulsing in particular is it moving literally up and down right? So it's like it's it's it's bouncing up and down as opposed to like enlarging and shrinking well she I mean the the thing that.
[11:26] Keith: I guessed. Yeah.
[11:33] Mike: The the thing that she said that I thought was a winning argument is that she's has a lot of she experienced this with her mouth and I was like okay there I Believe you do have the sensory apparatus to know exactly what is and is not moving and I was like okay fine I That's that's persuasive. Um, but even so I think that it would be ah.
[11:44] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, okay yeah, it is.
[11:53] Mike: Yeah I mean what what this? and yeah I mean then another element of what this guy's saying it reminds me of our previous guest who ah discussed the notion that he thought he could reach Climax like on a phone call with someone and they couldn't detect it.
[12:07] Keith: Right.
[12:09] Mike: He thought that he he would be able to be in the middle of a sentence discussing something with somebody and just not change his tone at all or anything like that. Um, that's sort of this guy with this guy's implying right? is that is that he's like he said he gives no other outward sign and you think well that's he's fooling himself. He should like videotape himself and he would see there are outward signs.
[12:13] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[12:20] Keith: Yes, yes, yes of course yeah I mean if if nothing else is breathing changes. But yeah, they can. There's probably like some change in the way that you pump in and out too. You know, but that might.
[12:28] Mike: Yeah.
[12:38] Mike: Do you think I mean do you have any conscious changes that you go for there.
[12:40] Keith: Vary by man. Ah I don't know I might pump slightly harder I mean when I'm actually orgasming what I want to do is just sort of bury my cock in to the hilts you know want to be.
[12:58] Mike: Sure but I mean like right when as a signal that you're on the brink.
[13:00] Keith: Ah, been there.
[13:03] Keith: I Think my breathing intensifies. Maybe I I know I don't think I do maybe it's slightly faster or maybe it's even slower I don't know I think it varies I think the angle and what's going on.
[13:07] Mike: But yeah, but I'm asking whether you have some pumping strategy some thrusting strategy I see.
[13:18] Mike: Okay.
[13:22] Keith: Phase of the moon all matter for that now. Um, all right? So his official question is do women notice when a guy is about to come just by how his dick feels and I think they do notice when a guy's about to come but not because of the way his dick feels.
[13:23] Mike: Okay, yeah I I tend to agree with that.
[13:40] Mike: Yeah I mean it's really it. It is true that it's that it forms like a really big part of like Literotica you know she could feel its swelling or he could feel it swelling depending on your your orientation. Um I'm trying to think like I feel like I have.
[13:41] Keith: I Think that's the.
[13:49] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, it's a common trope.
[13:58] Mike: Been in a situation where I felt my own penis swelling like that and I remember it because I because we have reason I remember it is it bothered me and I'm trying to think of how I would have noticed it must have been something not involving my hand I just can't remember the details.
[14:15] Keith: When I am maximally aroused everything feels like a little bit tight almost to the point of discomfort so is that is that what you're describing. Yeah did you.
[14:26] Mike: Yeah I mean so that maybe that's going along with it Probably I why I actually don't remember I Just remember it. Ah it being yeah exactly exactly like like physical and also sort of it's just sort of an odd thing. It's like.
[14:33] Keith: You remembered the discomfort.
[14:38] Keith: Right.
[14:42] Mike: Ah, like a balloon that's going to pop or something.
[14:45] Keith: Right? Yeah I get it all right? Let's move on. Um, this is a bit of a lengthy one. But I think there's a couple of interesting discussions that can fall out from it. So this person says my husband got mad because a guy was giving me oral sex. Okay I mean at first blush he probably should.
[14:59] Mike: Um, this is the hetero couple.
[15:01] Keith: Ah, disposable account yeah disposable account english is not my first language um been married for 10 years. She's 30 her husband is 32 I have a bit of a hard time coming from penetration. She wrote like so I'd occasionally tell my husband to give me oral but he always refuses because he says he doesn't like my taste. This was ever since we met so he just uses his fingers or nothing about two months ago he came up with the idea of having an open marriage according to him. He loves me but it didn't satisfy him sexually although I was open to experimenting with various things like anal etc. He also said that my physique no longer attracted him so much. That's. Hurtful I ended up accepting putting various roles where protection only have sex with someone once or twice a week get constant std tests notify in advance of at least 2 hours and we said that we can take them home but not to our bed. It would have to be the guest bedroom. Okay I mean these rules seem.
[15:59] Mike: Sure.
[16:00] Keith: Fine. Ah I mean what could possibly go wrong. Let's let's let's continue I wasn't that interested in this so I hadn't dated anyone. My husband was he took advantage of everything he wanted about two weeks ago I met ah about two weeks ago I met someone and we had sex. I got home I was quite happy since I hadn't done it for a long time but my husband didn't seem so happy he was somewhat furious I said what was wrong and he just ignored me the following week. The same guy contacted me with me might again I told my husband from 2 pm that kids. Yes, she's talking that the timing here is important to her but it doesn't matter. Um. But ah as this man was giving me oral my husband enters the guest room and tells the man to leave he was angry I told him what was wrong with him. He didn't say anything it was quite It was quite okay, so all right? you you with me so far. So did there's the they open the marriage. She meets some guy.
[16:55] Mike: Yeah, well they have the standard problem like the problem is that that they it's ah, there's yeah the problem is that the woman is going to be much more successful right? off the bat than the man. That's always what's going to happen and okay so that happens. Yeah I mean like.
[16:58] Keith: Ah, the second time.
[17:12] Keith: Right? Well and then yeah, well and then on the second time the husband walks in on them. Ah all right. It was quite hot that night so I stayed in my underwear I fell asleep.
[17:13] Mike: And and she's she goes an whole hog. You know. Yeah.
[17:25] Keith: Get up around 2 am and my husband was between my legs eating my pussy and his fingers inside me I was kind of what the fuck because he never liked doing it. We had had sex. We had sex that night and every night after including oral sex. He now tells me that he wants to close the marriage but it's confusing because he asked me to open it in the first place. Because he was dissatisfied and didn't see me as attractive but now and what if he gets bored of me again or something like that. So I thought this was interesting like basically seeing his wife fucking somebody else awoke some attraction to his partner. That had faded I don't know if that would be is that normal to set that is that good.
[18:08] Mike: Well I think this I mean I think that this um, let's see I guess this could go both directions. But I think that I I The the place that I've like anecdotally heard about this more is with women actually.
[18:24] Keith: Oh.
[18:25] Mike: That they basically will like the I can't cite you specific examples but that a woman will can basically be can in will her interest in sex might go up to sort of fend off a potential competitor if that makes sense.
[18:41] Keith: Yeah, yeah I think I mean this makes sense to me sort of from a biological standpoint like a man having sex with another woman almost reasserts his sexual viability like he's able to and you know.
[18:58] Mike: Right.
[19:00] Keith: Convince another woman to have sex with him so that must mean that he's you know, sexually viable. Um.
[19:05] Mike: Well, and also it's that it's It's a it's a tool that women have to kind of keep a guy right? I mean it's its ah, it's a tool that women I mean just put very simply like obviously it's much more complex than that. But it's a tool that women can use in that way and. You know that? Even yeah, whether it's subconscious or conscious if they so if they see some risk to the relationship. It's just a tool they can use but it's it's not really, it doesn't typically go the other way. Um, you know if a man is afraid that his wife is you know going to leave him. She's tired of him etc. Telling her like look I'm going to give you some really good sex is not like what people would typically advise a guy to do right? I mean it's they'd say look this is that they might it might actually it would it would be considered maybe more likely to be part of the problem than the solution you know thinking that's that's what she wants She probably wants. You know.
[19:49] Keith: Right.
[19:57] Keith: Yeah.
[20:02] Mike: More attention or I don't know like some but some other sort of partner behaviors than than offering your great sex. Um, that beings. Yeah.
[20:05] Keith: Um, yeah.
[20:10] Keith: It's not clear from. It's not clear from the post whether she's happy about this increased sexual frequency. Um, or.
[20:19] Mike: It's not just that like he he also like has I mean this this whole situation's sort of odd right? I mean so did he think that she didn't like oral beforehand.
[20:28] Keith: I Don't know she says he said that he didn't like her taste. But I mean.
[20:34] Mike: So he liked her taste Once another guy had done it. So maybe he's gay or by right because that's what happened right? Well was just the other guy was just giving her oral presumably. Although I guess we don't know.
[20:42] Keith: He was good. Get except some residual seamen in there. Oh yeah, we don't know that's that's true.
[20:54] Mike: Right? Where I mean I Yeah I typically assume that male oral performed on women after he ejaculates in her is uncommon although nonzero but uncommon.
[21:04] Keith: Is there something about seeing another man being attracted to your wife that would that would be enticing like is this like what's going on with Cuckolds like they're aroused by somebody else.
[21:19] Mike: Maybe Ah, that's an interesting point. It could be That's actually yeah, it could be That's actually what's going on here is he has that kink right? where he once? Yeah, he's turned on by her being like a hot wife or whatever.
[21:24] Keith: Being attracted to their partner.
[21:35] Keith: Um, yeah.
[21:35] Mike: Um, I've never really understood that. Ah yeah I don't know if it's it always seems to me like it's kind of a submissive thing. You know this this thing where women ah will post about their bull coming over. You know like.
[21:45] Keith: I Mean how can that possibly not be construed as submissive your you're being Yeah, you're not having sex. You're like what you know.
[21:57] Mike: There? Well I guess I was thinking there could be a couple different dimensions right? It could be on the dimension of submissive dominant. It could also be on the some other dimension like um, wanting to like just having a specific fetish like or or also like um.
[22:11] Keith: Um.
[22:15] Mike: Reassuring you that your wife is still attractive something like that it doesn't have to be submissive although I agree with you. It certainly feels that way.
[22:23] Keith: Um, it's so strange I I would ah my like Baseline intuition is that attractiveness is sort of objective and ephemeral things around her behavior or like what you're seeing her do wouldn't matter that much but that. Appears not to be the case here.
[22:40] Mike: Well I don't agree I mean it is objective but it's relative in the sense that if you know someone really really? well you're going to be I mean you're always going. You're always going to be attracted to mystery right? So somebody that.
[22:54] Keith: Yes.
[22:58] Mike: Yeah, so so somebody that you're seeing in a swimsuit on the beach is going to be more sort of directly ah subjectively attractive to you and so seeing someone else attracted like attracted to the person who you had aren't just seeing with the swimsuit but seen without the swimsuit etc like could.
[23:16] Keith: Um.
[23:16] Mike: Kind of cause you to see it through their eyes that that makes some sense to me while while it wouldn't change the objective situation I could see it changing your subjective evaluation so that would make sense to me.
[23:23] Keith: Yeah I mean I I can't argue it I don't know what my reaction would be if I walked it I walked in and my partner getting head from another man like I think it would not.
[23:34] Mike: Like let's say that let's say this. Let's say this let's you, But let's take that away and let's say this. Let's say the situation was you're dating a woman who is a she's an actress in plays like in musicals. Ah.
[23:50] Keith: Um, okay yeah I dated a girl who ah was it was an opera singer will that work for this analogy.
[23:51] Mike: Um, you know and brought on Broadway and she's she's and she's like the leading lady people. She's attractive and you've never actually okay, okay maybe it's her not as well because the audience for opera tends to be a little older but let's say it wasn't older.
[24:06] Keith: Okay, all right or writer it.
[24:10] Mike: Um, okay, so and you have not seen her perform or maybe you saw it once a long time ago. What or maybe she was um she doesn't want you to come. She's embarrassed and so you've never seen this and you've been with her for 2 years and you have had some sort of gradient of attracted attraction to her. Then you go see her perform and you see all these dues just going nuts just everyone going nuts over her beauty and stuff like that I bet right? after that like that night you would be more attracted to her maybe like wow look I got that I got this this thing that other people value.
[24:31] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I wonder if that would be a 1 time impact though. Like let's say you're dating you know a sports illustrated model or something. There's probably some juice from you know, hitting the red carpet with her the first time but then like all subsequent times I bet you it's just like oh this is yeah would yeah.
[25:05] Mike: That's probably right I would also wonder whether it would um this is something only someone like le ah Leonardo de crappio would know ah which is like do you ah does it if you switch women does it reinvigorate or or is it just actually a 1 time thing in your life. You just get that once and then then you've've, you've seen the ah the backside of the the red carpet and it's not you know what what? what happens on the inside and it ceases to be compelling.
[25:31] Keith: Yeah, yeah I don't have a bunch of sexual desire for any of my exes like once once my sexual desire for someone fades. It doesn't seem to come back.
[25:47] Mike: What if 1 of them started dating like ah ah you know a well-known extremely attractive man would that change it you jealousy. So yeah, maybe that maybe look? Yeah, yeah, so maybe these cuck old guys actually have figured something out the like.
[25:49] Keith: Yeah I wonder I wonder I don't know maybe I think it would I think it would a little.
[26:04] Mike: Those among those lamos among us haven't haven't figured out they they're amping it up. They're getting like a point 5 increased orgasm intensity by by doing this this process.
[26:10] Keith: What what are the levels of Cuck holding so like the maximum level is you invite a bull over and watch him fuck your wife. Okay that okay, are there steps that you can try for getting getting there.
[26:25] Mike: That's a good question. Um I mean there obviously is. There's there's camming or doing something on the internet. That's not you know, involving another but it is involving other guys or other guys sort of lusting after her you could have a date you know be with somebody That's a stripper.
[26:34] Keith: Okay, ah yeah.
[26:42] Mike: So again, although um I don't I was watching a Tiktok the other day where a woman basically said she her claim was that essentially her claim was everybody except her at her strip club was having sex with the clients which I thought was sort of interesting she she was essentially saying it's ninety five plus percent of them.
[26:57] Keith: Um, ah what? what was her level of attractiveness. Do you have any idea what kind of club she was at and or where it was what's the address. Okay.
[27:01] Mike: Ah, do.
[27:09] Mike: I seem to remember was in lost it was in Las Vegas I think um and she was pretty. You know pretty attractive. Um her claim was that she.
[27:16] Keith: Huh.
[27:19] Mike: Was really really good at sort of befriending the guys and you know talking to them and this kind of stuff which I don't know if she was telling the truth or not it sounded a little fake to me that maybe she just has decided that she didn't do what everybody else did. But yeah, her claim was basically that like you you make so much more money if in the champagne room you you know provide extra services. But essentially everyone does that.
[27:39] Keith: Yeah I wonder if I were a stripper if I would draw lines between stripping and and grinding on men versus actually letting them penetrate me I mean look okay look There's obviously a line there but the first hurdle. Which is sort of selling your body without it being penetrated might be harder than the second hurdle which is let people penetrate you and you make 7 times as much money or something.
[28:10] Mike: Well I think you can actually I think men can are more capable of ideating about this than than men often than we often think we are because you can imagine you can imagine I can imagine they're existing a strip club where men strip and do all these activities and imagine that the women are all very unattractive.
[28:17] Keith: Go on.
[28:29] Keith: Um, yeah.
[28:30] Mike: So you're not being penetrated fine but you're having to do these different activities and yeah I mean it would have the same kind of scale like okay, there would be you know dancing in front of them that would be kind of gross because they're all really unattractive and they do gross things and it's not great and um, then yeah you you move up the scale and like how would you think about that. How would you.
[28:41] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[28:49] Mike: Move from grinding to actually having to penetrate these really unattractive women. So it'd be fine with you if you needed the money then that's probably how women feel about it too like it's not. It's just it's sort of matter of fact, right.
[28:52] Keith: I Mean that's what the money is for So I think it would yeah.
[29:05] Keith: Yeah I think some women feel like there's a little bit more something Sacrosanct about you know, being penetrated in a way that men Maybe don't about penetrating.
[29:08] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[29:22] Mike: I think that I mean. Okay, yeah, that's that's probably true for for some percentage of women. But I think that the psychological experience you would have if you for money had to have sex with somebody that was really really, really unattractive would be similar.
[29:29] Keith: Um, yeah.
[29:40] Mike: And be tough. You'd be sort of unhappy with yourself. You know.
[29:40] Keith: Yeah I I Just don't know what the mental and emotional repercussions of various. We. We come up with these scenarios all the time on on this show like okay what if somebody consensually. Sodomized me does Sodomy does sodomy like imply nonconsensual or or sodomy just the act. Okay, okay so I have to specify consensual. Yeah, like it's not something I'm interested in trying but you know if.
[30:04] Mike: No, it's just the act.
[30:17] Keith: Somebody paid me enough I definitely would and but I don't know what enough is because I don't know what the long term emotional downside of getting paid to allow that to happen to me would be.
[30:28] Mike: Well this is I mean this is the sort of slippery slope that women navigate in this business right? I mean they'll start off doing 1 thing that's kind of a small thing and then and the big thing that happens is they realize that their job doing something kind of lame. You know their their vanilla normal job doing something kind of lame.
[30:36] Keith: Um, yes.
[30:48] Mike: Pays just a fraction of what this pays and you can make the money so much faster and so they control their lives a lot better. Maybe they're in a relationship with some guy where they ah don't have much power because the guy has the money or something like that and so so yeah, so it improves their life in concrete ways and then.
[31:02] Keith: Um.
[31:06] Mike: Yeah, you go down the slope and and the but the the point I wanted to make with regard to sodomy is that you they wouldn't start there right? You can sort of imagine a slope of activities and as a guy you could imagine it too. It's just that no one in fact, as a man. No one will pay you for any of these activities so it does have to be a thought experiment. No one is going to actually pay you to sodomize you.
[31:21] Keith: Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah for me, it's going to be probably high five figures.
[31:26] Mike: Well, they might pay you a little not not a little. Yeah you think someone would pay actually pay you high 5 figures meaning more than oh yeah.
[31:36] Keith: No no, that's that's what I would ask for. That's what I would require. That's that sounds sounds about right high high. Yeah, the bed depends What the currency is.
[31:42] Mike: And they'll pay you probably high two figures. So yeah, maybe yeah, maybe high one figure but they ask if 1 of the 2 figures can be a zero and one can be a negative sign. Yeah.
[31:57] Keith: Yeah I would take high one figure bitcoin. But um, all right? Ah so this one doesn't bury the lead at all. But this person says my 22 year old girlfriend broke the news to me and he's at 22. He's 22 as well. That she hasn't orgasmed once in our 4 plus year long relationship and okay, he goes on for a bit here I'm going to I don't remember what peakd my interests here. So I'm just Goingnna read me and my girlfriend have been having regular sex especially in the first two years of our relationship extremely frequently. At 1.3 times a day. For a long time as we lived together in a unit shared with a friend of hers I started to worry she was faking orgasms as I was still inexperienced and very insecure. It eventually came up when we were both drunk and I broke down about it and confessed to her that I was worried she was faking orgasms with me. She admitted that. She was but reassured me that we could work through it and I could learn her body and what made her orgasm at this time we'd been dating for less than six months we continued having regular sex and I put the extra time and effort into foreplay often longer than 20 to 30 minutes in an attempt to make sure she she orgasm before I did.
[32:53] Mike: Oh yeah.
[33:05] Keith: Watched all the videos you can find and tried studying the sounds she made and the way she reacted to things that I did eventually I was convinced I was making her orgasm every time Jesus and she reassured me that I was even bragging I made her come multiple times on regular occasions. Okay, yeah, this is.
[33:23] Mike: This is like this is like a guy who ah convinces himself that he's become a grand master at chess and then after like 10 years that it learns he doesn't know the rules. He's like oh the night moves like that. It's just terrible.
[33:30] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean this goes on I mean it's brutal years have gone by and I maintained the aur of confidence that she was completely satisfied and that I was an incredible lover until the sex began to slow down. Eventually, we're living separately and we were not seeing each other as frequently because of work in university and the sex became once a week then twice a month until we barely ever had sex with each other I chalked it chalked it up to not having a comfortable place to have regular sex and counted on us moving out again as being a solution eventually, we did. And the sex was more frequent but she seemed hesitant and only entertained it a couple times a week if I initiated and only if I initiated she blamed the drop in her libido to the medication she is taking for her mental conditions and then it came up eventually she admitted around a year later that she had never orgasmed once in our relationship.
[34:17] Mike: Ah.
[34:23] Keith: But reassured me that she still enjoyed our sex and enjoyed pleasing me which she is incredible at I feel so ashamed and pathetic for a while I felt that our sex was a chore for her to keep me happy and this all but confirmed it in my head I feel betrayed. Even though I know she did it to preserve my feelings I put myself in her head and can understand why it was so hard to tell me after everything we had been through according to her. She has a particular way she masturbates and nothing else works. Apparently this is common I don't know what to do? We've had sex since but I can't even stay hard and attempt it. Yeah I feel like. Ah, mess of a man I feel like less of a man deep down I'm extremely angry at her. But I know my own security and ego are taking over and I still love her by this. Yeah, this guy's using some therapy speak here. Love her more than anything and as much as I want to blame her. It always comes back to feeling ashamed and belittled. You could describe the way she gets off as humping using her hand and apparently there are his. Ah.
[35:16] Mike: Oh I should have I should have said it I should have said it so that then I would feel it sound awesome when when you when you yeah I knew that's what it would be. This is the standard thing this is ah this is sort of ah an amounts to like white claw for the woman I mean this is okay so she's humping using her hand meaning she's. She's this this comes up with women who sort of roll on their stomachs and kind of rub against a mattress or a pillow sometimes a stuffed animal like ah, a daffy duck or a a mickey mouse kind of Pokemon Pokemon with a.
[35:42] Keith: Getting oddly specific mike.
[35:49] Mike: Pokemon with the lightning bolt that comes out of it. But anyway the um, she's using her hand. Okay, okay so she can but I mean that's actually really good news that she can get there right.
[35:57] Keith: Yeah, but it's almost worse like no, not really I mean all right. We're almost done here. She also says she sometimes watches porn or other women masturbating and listening to the Moans gets her off that really hurts the most as I feel that she isn't truly attracted to me and.
[36:00] Mike: Is her happy ending here so to speak. Yeah.
[36:15] Keith: Potentially fantasizing about other people when she gets herself off in private after I fail to who yes I would but okay, all right, let me just finish this and then we get and then we'll we'll discuss after 4 years of very regular sex and me spending so much time on foreplay and having her walk me through what to do.
[36:17] Mike: Who cares like why does he care so much like would you care I mean it's I think it's kind of cool. Oh you would care why? okay.
[36:35] Keith: How can I not possibly make her orgasm even once that is the answer. That's that is this guy's English is so bad that is the answer I keep coming to but I don't want it to be true, any advice or similar stories would help so ok I think his reaction here is pretty normal like just feel like emasculated and belittled.
[36:50] Mike: Do you.
[36:54] Keith: And small and worthless and embarrassed. Um.
[36:57] Mike: Well I mean do women often make you orgasm make meaning like you're not an active person. Well, you're not an active participant I mean she has a thing where she's an active participant. He doesn't it doesn't seem to be something that he's able to participate in and that is an issue for women that do it this way like.
[37:05] Keith: Um, what do you mean by make yeah.
[37:17] Mike: There are things he could do but it's a little tricky but I mean I think you're probably in a similar situation actually like us are your partners are because you don't like receiving oral so they could be on top I guess but I bet I I bet that that's not typically the way you finish commonly with a woman.
[37:33] Keith: Um, in our mouth. Oh I don't know it is less common. Yeah yeah.
[37:37] Mike: No no with her on top PiV it's probably like not the most. Oh okay, it's a little less common for the guy to finish that way. Yeah, um, so it's so this is like for men sorry women already have this experience of like they're being It's making the other person. Orgasm isn't always is often kind of not a thing.
[37:59] Keith: Well ok, first of all, yeah I mean it would be interesting to know like can she get herself off while he's going down on her probably not because she needs to like she needs the pressure specifically the way she. Uses her poem or something.
[38:16] Mike: Well yeah I mean the the thing that these women do is they're not like um, not being female and not having this particular situation I am mansplaining a little bit but I have read a lot ah and one'm I'm I'm one of the most well readad people I'm sort of the Donald Trump of this topic. Ah the greatest.
[38:33] Keith: Very well read.
[38:35] Mike: But seriously the the right? they ah my my impression of what's going on here is that they don't want direct stimulation on their clit so they don't want like it's ah it's too much or too in sense or something like that they want more sort of overall stimulation on the area but they needed to be kind of a lot of pressure kind of hard.
[38:50] Keith: I say I say.
[38:53] Mike: And it's difficult to do that I mean the the best way to do that is this and then they also might like just in the way like for a guy. It's also arousing to like thrust in right? They're also sort of thrusting and that might also kind of enhance their arousal and then there's also the fact that they just have done it this way forever right? So it's kind of like.
[39:05] Keith: Um, sure.
[39:10] Mike: Yeah, they have this thing that works and when they do something else. Maybe it's different and it just doesn't It's not clear how it would work for them.
[39:12] Keith: Yeah, yeah I mean I almost always masturbate the same way like there are other ways but they're they're all not as good as the one way that is best and so why would I.
[39:21] Mike: Um, yeah.
[39:24] Mike: What is the number 2 way you do it.
[39:31] Keith: Ah I I masturbate in the shower Sometimes yeah I guess I'm standing I'm not always standing when I masturbate stroking wealth. Yeah I mean it's ah it's always going to involve.
[39:33] Mike: But how is that different you're still doing the same basic action. No I don't mean standing I mean you're you're you're you're doing it the way like an a a and this is who doesn't yeah you but for women there actually are different actions right.
[39:48] Keith: Stroking my cock sure of course.
[39:53] Mike: Women who yeah exactly so there's there might be like there's I mean if you include vibrators. There might be sort of 4 basic techniques that women use maybe even 5 So it's pretty different for them than for a man. Um, there probably are men who like I don't think so I was going to say something stupid like there only there probably are men who can only come if they like sort of affix. A.
[40:12] Mike: Flashlight to the wall and thrust into it so they're not using their hand or that you know? yeah, but that's not even true.
[40:12] Keith: I don't yeah I I doubt it I think.
[40:23] Mike: Yeah, so this is the thing that's hard for men to relate to that. There can be some so subtlety to the to the specific actions that a woman needs to get there. Um, but I'm interested in this topic of like so I said who cares if there's a thing that works for her and you said like it's a problem. Yeah.
[40:34] Keith: Yes, I wanted to get back to this? Yeah um I think we've talked about this before ah we talked about a partner who you know can't orgasm from partnered sex and you've mentioned. And the past that that's almost kind of cool. It's like yeah who cares?? and ah yeah, then you never have to like take on that responsibility I don't know if those were your right.
[41:00] Mike: And it makes the focus be on you as a guy right? I mean you get you this this that part of the act is becomes sort of about you and I don't see that as necessarily a bad thing I mean it. It's just the way your bodies are set up.
[41:08] Keith: Um, yeah.
[41:13] Keith: Yeah I think for me, there's something about the imagined need of me to give them pleasure that makes that intriguing to me.
[41:25] Mike: And it doesn't bother like it doesn't like you don't believe that it that something I mean you know that something could be pleasurable without causing a climax so they are enjoying it like so being stretched in that area filled up and all this kind of stuff that does feel good like there are various elements to it that are good.
[41:35] Keith: Um, yeah.
[41:40] Keith: I I mean I I know a lot of women say that it is a little bit unrelatable to me like if you told me that I'm going to have a sexual encounter and I'm definitely not going to be allowed to orgasm I would be much less enthusiastic about it I think I would still want I think I would still want to do it.
[41:48] Mike: Tis it.
[41:58] Keith: But I would be much and be I'd be pretty bombed and be pretty bombed.
[42:00] Mike: Well, that's not what I meant actually I didn't mean I didn't mean that you aren't allowed to I just meant a part of the act that you know isn't going to get you there. It can still be pleasurable right? So for a guy. Yeah, so be for a guy would be analogous like let's say that.
[42:10] Keith: Yes, it absolutely can.
[42:18] Mike: A woman like I don't know tickled here the frontalum like you know, whatever the Corona the ridge around the head of your penis with ah a feather that might feel good. You know it's not going to get you there but you're like oh this is nice like I'm I'm enjoying this in the moment and I mean that's that's sort of the analogy here. It's like there are elements of this that are enjoyable.
[42:27] Keith: Um, yeah, ah yeah.
[42:38] Mike: Um, it's just not going to cause this particular experience to happen. But it doesn't make it a bad thing.
[42:46] Keith: I Think yeah I guess it's but okay, but this woman this hypothetical woman who can't orgasm with her partner knows that. I Think a hypothetical man who knows he's not going to be able orgasm with his partner would be more frustrated than this hypothetical woman like I think women can enjoy sex more without orgasming I Guess is what I'm saying. Yeah.
[43:12] Mike: What it depends on what you mean by with your partner right? I mean ah you can Yeah, let's say that you couldn't as a man you could not orgasm when your penis was inside her body for some reason? Yeah, but you could still participate like there's it would still I Still think you're.
[43:22] Keith: Okay.
[43:29] Mike: Your brain would give you a a more powerful orgasm because you're partnered than it than otherwise because like it's more stimulating and have another person there like the various positive feedback loops and so in yeah.
[43:37] Keith: Yeah, okay I agree. Okay so I mean are there things This guy can do that makes him feel included in the process like she's doing the but the arm work. But ah, you know I don't know we can.
[43:47] Mike: Yeah I mean.
[43:55] Keith: Caress her breasts or make out with her or something while she's doing this. Maybe.
[43:59] Mike: Yeah I mean my advice would be like I think this is actually like he's yeah, he's played this really badly and it's kind of sad that it's lasted this long the way it's gone. Um I would say yes what you just said. Yes, definitely to what you just said and then the question would be like you could explore other things but instead of him getting butt hurt about he not being able to give her make her come. The question would be like are there other things. So For example, she could try lying on her back using her fingers try vibrate or things like that and then that would allow him to.
[44:28] Keith: Um.
[44:29] Mike: Be more involved also like with this thing but maybe they could do it in Dogie style prone bone like there might be other positions where she's doing this at the same time they could simply explore it like I actually thought it was ah it was a surprise at the end of this question because I thought I thought where this is going was that she'd like never had an orgasm in which case then.
[44:36] Keith: Yeah.
[44:46] Keith: Right.
[44:49] Mike: Yeah I mean now you're like and that happens that's a thing that can happen and that's much more challenging but the fact that she can do it is actually like a real positive and I yeah yeah, well I actually think she's 100% of the way there like I don't I don't think there's anything wrong with the state of affairs like why does he care so much like.
[44:53] Keith: Yeah, yeah, she's she's 85% of the way there. They just need to figure out how to do it together. Yeah.
[45:09] Mike: She's she's willing to have sex with him like what does he want.
[45:09] Keith: He cares because for you know, half of a decade. He was convinced that he was this you know ah marqui asad in bed.
[45:22] Mike: I understand you know that I agree with I understand that he cares about that. What I'm saying is ah why does he? Why did he care five years ago like why is why are men so obsessed with like you know playing the female body video game. Like what does it matter so much to men I actually I actually genuinely don't really understand this like I think I mean look their body is their problem right? I mean like it's I mean I'm I'm willing to help and be supportive in all that sort of stuff but it's like I don't I don't I actually genuinely have difficult ah difficulty um getting my arms around why guys.
[45:44] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[45:55] Mike: Have this like ah psychological need to like be the the key that opens their lock like it. It isn't it isn't the way women have the way that's not how women's bodies work. It's not really how men's bodies work either like men like a vanishingly small percentage of men start having their first orgasm is partnered.
[46:01] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[46:13] Mike: Like everybody's primary like yeah this what I will say everybody's primary sexual experience is masturbation. It just is so like get over it. Everyone's is.
[46:22] Keith: Yeah I think there's something. Okay, there's like the romantic aspect right? like there's something about the shared experience I mean that's not going to speak to you at all. Um, there's.
[46:33] Mike: No, it does. It's just I mean you you can be shared without you run playing it like a video game. It's like you know you're there like you're you can talk about it and like.
[46:42] Keith: Yeah, yeah I use this word earlier on the show but I'll use it again I think men like imagining that they're needed and as you point out, they're not but there's this. Yeah yeah, that you said it they want to be the key that unlocks her lock.
[46:56] Mike: Broken right? and they're not I mean it's just the way it is. You're not so.
[47:02] Keith: Maybe you're just yeah I think well for starters I think you are probably more I don't know if enlightens the word but you're more aware of like what's going on here than most men.
[47:11] Mike: It just strikes me. It's it's like look I don't I don't like the fact that I'm mortal I mean but I am like it's like what do you want like this is just how it is like people can like pretend. It's not that way but it is that way So like why? not just accept how it is and change the things you can Change. It's strange to me. I Think you actually have this like it bothers you too right.
[47:29] Keith: Yeah, yeah I don't like um if I have a partner that you know hasn't orgasmed for partnered sex or has difficulty orgasming from partnered sex because bums me out man.
[47:46] Mike: I Actually feel the opposite I think it would be kind of cool because it means that she's being honest, you know and I would be suspicious the other way I would I wouldn't say it's impossible I would just be suspicious I'd be like are you I Really let's talk about this? yeah.
[47:47] Keith: I Want to I want to? ah I know I know I know wolf.
[48:03] Keith: Yeah I mean yeah, your entire point of view here is a little bit um, saddled with this belief that a lot of women are kind of confused about whether they're orgasm or not in the first place.
[48:15] Mike: Well I know that I know that um PIV orgasms for women are somewhat rare, not 0 I'm not saying that and I'm not saying I wouldn't believe it in ah in a relationship or in a situation with a woman I would just be I would be a little skeptical and then I whatever like exactly. Um.
[48:20] Keith: Um, right.
[48:25] Keith: Right? Your your your prior would be skepticism. Yeah, all right? Let's move on this person says and we've got more oral here. My husband went down on me after 3 years was he attracted to my friend.
[48:32] Mike: Yeah I don't know.
[48:42] Keith: My husband was having a drink around 10 pm and I was just giving him company my friend in the next building appears at her window and we wave at each other. My husband insists I'm calling her over for a drink. She is busy but she comes and we have a drink a nice conversation for about 45 minutes and we go to sleep and I'm almost asleep when I feel my husband. Down on me licking a bit it's it's it's similar no it's similar I know I know I'm obviously shocked because he hasn't done that for more than three years we have had sex.
[49:01] Mike: Wait isn't this the same as the other person we have this to question what is up with these guys that are like a nocturnally are these supposed. Okay, yeah, okay.
[49:18] Keith: We had had sex a few hours before drinking too and he dismissed when I mentioned oral in the past while I should be happy about it I can't help thinking if he was attracted to my friend and got horny I think he is not attracted to me anymore.
[49:29] Mike: Um, you're probably.
[49:32] Keith: After I had a baby am I overthinking I think she's not overthinking I think that's almost certainly what happened here.
[49:39] Mike: Um, well I'm not sure why I mean I think it's possible and sort of likely but I'm not sure why that that attraction would cause the specific behavior of him suddenly wanting to give her oral. That's not.
[49:49] Keith: Well, that's I guess a somewhat interesting point. But I think it's related to like well his arousal is higher than it's been for a long time and so now you know his disgusted reflex is suppressed more than it usually is because his arousal is so amped up and this is how it. The oral is the way that manifests.
[50:10] Mike: Yeah I mean I Okay yeah I mean I think that this happens with women too like women read like a romance novel and then one have the I or libido afterward I mean isn't this Why guys will like go to a romantic ah part of the reason guys will go to a romantic comedy with their partner is they figure like oh this will definitely.
[50:27] Keith: I Don't know I.
[50:28] Mike: Going to amp things up I mean they don't They certainly don't want to go to like get them. Ah well you know the romantic comedy is always about getting married. So I doubt that's the reason the guy goes. But anyway you're going to say something. Oh yeah.
[50:41] Keith: I Love romantic comedies. Um, so the note the notion of like going to see a romantic comedy to get some points doesn't really.
[50:48] Mike: Oh by the way, What's your favorite romantic comedy key.
[50:52] Keith: Oh I don't think I have like a collated list in my mind I will I'll think about it I'll think about it and I'll do it at the beginning and next show let me make a note.
[51:02] Mike: Okay, ah and I did go see Oppenheimer. Yeah, it was not as good as cats cats certainly was superior dead when you asked me last episode of I'd seen it is that because you saw it.
[51:05] Keith: Oh okay.
[51:15] Keith: No I still haven't seen it. No Okay, okay I'll I'll see it in the next week and we can.
[51:19] Mike: Okay, well then there's not an interesting conversation to have there I do have thoughts about it. But um I I don't think people will agree with me I think it'll it's my viewpoint will not is not a popular one as I learned from rotten tomatoes.com
[51:34] Keith: Are you if you just had to guess so they've both been fairly successful. But let's say that Oppenheimer is made x million. Ah, how much how much do you think Barbie has made.
[51:46] Mike: 3 x and the reason why is I was in Santa Monica a couple days ago and I saw that there was this this phenomenon going on where first of all I know so that I'm cheating because I know that ah the barbie was sold out at all the theaters that's I know that.
[51:49] Keith: Um, yeah.
[51:58] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[52:02] Mike: So actually direct market research and second Oppenheimer was not not close and secondly I saw all these women dressed up as Barbie going to the Barbie movie and so I was like oh there's this is what's happening so I don't know but I'm guessing 3 x.
[52:04] Keith: Right. Yeah.
[52:16] Keith: Yeah I was listening to a podcast today discussing the almost accidental ah social media viral success of Barbie and how studios can't really control that they they hope for it and they try to see it and um. I think ah I can't remember who the studio is but Mattel and the studio. Definitely you know there's tie-ins with there's some like insurance. There's a progressive ad with a Barbie tie-in and various clothing brands have tie ends. But. Yeah, it's become like a meme and a lot of people I think are going to it just because they want to get dressed up in pink and get that picture with their friends to post on social media.
[52:53] Mike: Yes, that was what it looked like and they're not all necessarily in pink. There was a variety of costumes but it it was and it was all women I didn't see significant numbers of men going to that movie. Not yeah.
[53:02] Keith: Um, yeah.
[53:07] Keith: Yeah I think the numbers I saw were were one hundred and thirty million for Barbie and 80000000 for Oppenheimer. But I don't remember for sure. Yeah, yeah, um, okay, let's move on this person says sex lasts too long.
[53:12] Mike: Oh it's not 3 x okay so it's it's one point five or less actually okay.
[53:25] Keith: I've been with my partner for around 8 years we have sex around 3 times a week it's pretty good. It usually lasts at least an hour after about 20 minutes of penetration I start to get either sore or bored or both an hour I've talked to him so many times about how I would prefer to be quicker but nothing seems to change.
[53:31] Mike: Wow.
[53:42] Keith: Know he masturbates between sex and I think he has given himself death grip. Although he won't admit it if sex was 10 to 20 minutes I would have no problem doing it every day or even twice a day as it is now I start to dread it most of the time I no longer even want to partake in foreplay I don't even want him to touch me sometimes as I am in the mindset this is going to take hours I just want to get it done. Doesn't help that he has a very large penis which makes sex for that long which makes sex for that long even more painful. Okay, so she wants shorter sex with a smaller penis I mean I think we have some listeners that can help ah I used to dress up a lot and be quite adventurous and enjoy sex. And I'm starting to despise it and resent him I've talked to him about the length of intercourse many times and nothing seems to change is there anything more I can do in this situation. Okay, so that I wanted to have like a general conversation here like in hours I I don't know how long like you know when you've been coupled for a long time. Like the average you don't really want the average went like the median sexual encounter. But yeah, something like I mean aren't there numbers on this like the average like ah length of penetration is like 5 to 8 minutes or something is that right? okay.
[54:43] Mike: Right.
[54:53] Mike: it's like 3 to 5 it's much it's it's really short it's it's it's surprisingly short actually um yeah.
[54:57] Keith: Yeah, so that so there's that and then you know even if you're doing you know your due diligence on the foreplay and maybe some oral before like I mean it's hard to get up to an hour so
[55:13] Mike: Ah, yeah, the the I mean okay I Have to admit, there's something a little bit hot to me about this just just as an aside I realize that she's a real human being with a body and that's not great because she's experiencing this all the time she's in her own little like sort of prison. Like experiencing this all the time but like just the note just like from the standpoint of like ah almost like a pornographic imagination. Ah a single encounter where it's just this guy with his huge penis and it's like just going on and on is kind of hot I mean there's some like he's overwhelming or something I can see that I can see like there being something kind of yeah.
[55:30] Keith: Um, yeah.
[55:43] Keith: Right? The yeah you like impositions in your and your porn I think.
[55:55] Mike: Depends. But I mean I can I can certainly see I can certainly see that that there's a there's like a story there. Um, she yeah yeah I mean like.
[56:03] Keith: Okay, first.
[56:10] Mike: He he has he has death group like basically it's he he simply she said she's like I Yeah I don't really, it's it's she she could tell him hey I would match your frequency if you just came sooner. Um, on the other hand Maybe he can't maybe like even if he stopped. Beating off he wouldn't be able to get there in which case it would be challenging.
[56:30] Keith: Um, what what happens in minute thirty that he can't do in minute 10 like what is 30 minutes of stroking even like.
[56:45] Mike: Um, yeah I mean yeah, that's a good question. Um, what? What do you think is the longest you've ever Longest. It's taken you and a partner to counter between the the start of whatever your your penis being stroked. Whatever way and the the Euro Climax. What's the what's the longest for you where you know what's a general. Okay, and okay, do you think you sobered up during the act.
[57:04] Keith: Um, I mean it's going to be some time when I was drunk or something you know? Yeah I mean it? Yeah I mean I definitely had the experience where I feel like my partner wants me to you know.
[57:23] Keith: Shit or get off the pot and you know when I get that feeling I normally just stop because it's like I don't know I don't know like whether I'm going to be able to reliably get there and like I don't I Really don't like imposing on my partners and so I mean.
[57:25] Mike: Um, right? But how does what happened you stop you? you know.
[57:42] Keith: There is ah another thing there which is like some women get pretty upset if you don't come like they get really insecure because you know their experiences. The man comes 100% of the time and so not bothers them. But yeah, like.
[57:48] Mike: Sure.
[57:58] Mike: So you have to somehow reassure them and put it on you like say oh you know I'm just drunk or tired or something. Ah I mean the so when you ask.
[58:01] Keith: Right? right? right? You have to fall on my sword. But yeah I don't think ah 30 minutes just seems wild to me like I've had sex for for longer than that of course, but it's you know, changing positions and you know it's not just like constant.
[58:11] Mike: Yeah, the the way I.
[58:19] Keith: Simulation.
[58:19] Mike: Yeah I mean the way I would think about that is when you're when you've when you've moved into the situation where you're trying to finish as a guy you can't you don't have absolute control over exactly when it's going to happen. Um, you have pretty good control but not absolute control.
[58:30] Keith: No. Yeah, well,, there's a point of no return and then there's a point of like medium return right? like you that it's not going to be great but you can you can abort if you have to.
[58:36] Mike: And um.
[58:41] Mike: Yeah, right? but but the but the point I want to make is that you there's some sort of probability each minute. Or something that you're going to get to that point of medium return or whatever where you like. Okay, now we're like on the downhill slope here and depending on like how you're feeling that day like if you're drunk things like that like it's going to that Probability is going to be different. Um, if you're actually trying you saying. Okay now I'm trying to finish Um, and.
[58:59] Keith: Oh.
[59:15] Mike: Yeah, there can be a number of factors there but you could imagine. Let's say that probability could be as high as like 80% or something it might even be a hundred percent there might be situations where it's a hundred but there could also be situations even if you're not drunk where it's like 10% or 20% so on average it would take you let's say if it's 20% it would on average. Just.
[59:30] Keith: Um, yeah.
[59:35] Mike: Being super simple would take 5 minutes um but you could get really unlucky and have it take a lot longer because it just doesn't happen and I've had that experience before I've had that experience where like it just doesn't seem like it's happening. It's it's like that that like spark just doesn't seem to happen. You're like I don't I don't and I'm not sure completely. Why.
[59:37] Keith: Um, yeah I understand I understand the math here.
[59:49] Keith: Um, yeah I have to it's it happens to me when I'm masturbating sometimes too it doesn't happen often. But like when it does. It's always pretty frustrating.
[59:53] Mike: And it just takes a lot longer.
[59:59] Mike: Yeah, and so I could see that but but but this guy's situation is a little different because it's happening consistently so that I I have to think this would be frustrating for him Also kind of physically exhausting because depending on what position they're In. He's having probably to take an active part. And he's probably getting quite tired. You know.
[01:00:20] Keith: Yeah I think when people write stuff like this. They don't have a timer next to the bed and so she's saying an hour but you know come on. Um who knows who knows but yeah, there's some, there's some time dilation. Um, but.
[01:00:27] Mike: Um, it's actually 8 minutes
[01:00:37] Keith: Anyway, yeah yeah, it's hard to imagine for me like I've had like this fantasy for a while where ok decided Yeah I'll just say this I think it would be cool.
[01:00:38] Mike: He's ah he's he's rusting relativistically fast.
[01:00:56] Keith: Have a partner that for a day was just like I want to eke as many orgasms out of you as we possibly can and so there's like absolutely no responsibility to take on any ah responsibility for them for their pleasure. It's just like about me. Getting those orgasms as quickly as possible because you probably want them to get a quicker that you know the more time it takes you to get each orgasm the the less potential you have to have more and so and so yeah, like that is sort of like a a fantasy of mine and so like this this notion that.
[01:01:22] Mike: Okay.
[01:01:33] Keith: Ah, yeah, she's like telling him to hurry up and he just like can't is sort of confusing informed to me I Guess yeah I guess he just has death grip but he just can't get the stimulation he needs.
[01:01:44] Mike: Yeah I'm confident he could change his personal behaviors. He might be on it on a medication. He might be overweight. There are other things that are possible here but I but most likely you can change behaviors and and resolve this and which is and it's strange that he's not given what she said.
[01:01:50] Keith: Yeah, sure sure right? right? are yeah yeah, all right? We've gone a bit over here. So let's let's wrap it that'll do it for this episode of your mileage may vary. We'd like feedback please send us some. Ah, if you do we pay $10 for any feedback just give us your venmo or cash app or however, you want it? Ah, we can. We also like listener questions. So if you want us to talk about something on the air. Let us know if you want to ask us a question privacy privately. Let us know. Ah, the email is y mmvpod at Gmail.com and we respond to everything. So if you're bored you can chat with us. We're slightly more coherent than chat gpt. We thank you for yeah that we we had to stop because.
[01:02:37] Mike: We we don't respond to dick tick.
[01:02:46] Keith: Seemed like we were almost encouraging it. Thank you for listening and we look forward to having you next week on your mileage may vary.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 128: Female Fake Orgasm Spectrum, Too Long, Too Short, Male Climax Clues

Episode Transcript