Your Mileage May Vary: A Hungry MMF Beast, Women Climaxing Too Easily, Men Climaxing Too Slowly, The Illustrated Man

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial but mostly in good faith Today. We're going to revisit our favorite topic. The female orgasm and then we're going to talk about a man who draws porn of himself. Before moving on to how to deal with a man who lasts forever I am Keith my co-host is Mike Mike how do you feel about halloween.
[00:27] Mike: Um I don't have strong opinions about Halloween what what? What's the context.
[00:32] Keith: Oh I'm invited to a party and ah they said I expect your costume to be on point or I expect big things from your costume or something and I'm stressed about it.
[00:46] Mike: Yeah, um, 1 time in college. There was a couple that I knew and ah he went as Batman and she had some sort of costume that had an arrow on her stomach because she was a bare midriff and it said bat cave pointing to her. And I found that really gross I didn't like it sort of was too like venereal.
[01:03] Keith: Well I feel like the referendum on women wearing sexy Halloween costumes happened fifteen years ago and now it's just sort of accepted as a piece of feminism and.
[01:18] Mike: Is that I mean but this is this isn't sexy. This is beyond that right? I mean somebody like making extremely explicit reference. There is like it was just a little too too much too like yeah I mean I guess it could have got she could have gotten to the point like.
[01:20] Keith: Expression of feminism.
[01:28] Keith: Yeah, that does seem a little bit beyond the the usual.
[01:37] Mike: To a funnier point than that have like an arrow and be like later. My boyfriend will put his penis in here. It was like it was a little too specific. It's like okay I see what's going on so you're worried that you have to produce Halloween costume because it has to be clever or ironic or something.
[01:44] Keith: Ah, yeah, yeah.
[01:52] Keith: Yeah, and and you don't want it. You want to look decent in it going to a party. There could be some eligible bachelorettes there potentially who knows.
[02:00] Mike: Um, so oh I was if you were going with a woman I think a decent move would be her being Taylor Swift and you being that football player. She's fucking.
[02:13] Mike: Or you could just go as the football player.
[02:13] Keith: Ah, let's so there is a company called the nudge that sends costume ideas and now so the nudge sense like date ideas and various things to do around.
[02:22] Mike: Was that one of them.
[02:29] Keith: San Francisco but they operate in all these different cities. But anyway they collated a list of like the top costumes and actually maybe it would be mildly interesting to go through this I remember the number one costume is the roman empire.
[02:45] Mike: Oh Lord So they're just going straight after the ah the theme do jure I Wonder what a woman would wear because um, the the role of women I guess a vestal virgin might be the move I'm not sure if they would yeah I Guess there're statues so there would be some.
[03:02] Keith: Yeah, the ideas are they have somebody in like a toga which isn't that greek. Okay I'm gonna text you.
[03:02] Mike: Knowledge of what that would look like.
[03:11] Mike: No no, it's not that was the official outfit. You were supposed to wear I like in the Roman Senate for example
[03:18] Keith: Okay, yeah, so this guy's wearing like a toga. Yeah, he looks sort of senatorial. He's got some gold jewelry and a crown on and then there's like a leg legionaire which is a pretty obvious one that's Roman Roman troop
[03:27] Mike: Sure.
[03:34] Mike: Right? I I guess you could go as um Pontius Pilot or like 1 of the guys nailing up jesus sort of like bridge the gap to Christmas or something.
[03:40] Keith: Moving.
[03:46] Mike: Okay, yeah, I'm looking at the the costumes the woman costume I I just don't know. Yeah I'm not entirely sure that there's historical evidence for that costume I don't know actually I'd have to I'd have to do some research I'm I'm thinking of the various I mean most of the surviving sculpture from the Roman Empire is just.
[03:49] Keith: The woman Roman Empire costume
[04:05] Mike: Just like propaganda sculptures of emperors in addition to things like columns and and the like so I'm not sure there was too much of women. Um, there would have been goddesses. No and not at all. There would have been goddesses though. so so so I guess I would go for Venus or something.
[04:05] Keith: Right? right.
[04:12] Keith: Seems like you think a lot about the Roman Empire mike
[04:24] Mike: And I'm not sure this costume looks like Venus it just looks like frankly Kim Kardashian so yeah
[04:27] Keith: Right? Anyway, the the reason why I brought up this list was yeah, there's a bazillion Taylor Swift Travis Kelsey Costume ideas you could be Travis Kelsey's mom I don't know if you've watched any of the games that the chiefs have played since they became an item but.
[04:38] Mike: Um, okay.
[04:46] Keith: Taylor's always sitting next to the mom and they're gaffawing it up having a grand old time.
[04:48] Mike: Okay I mean doesn't that I guess I guess Halloween is just a costume party like at at core Halloween you're supposed to dress as something scary right? So these aren't really scary. They're just all I admittedly I came up with one of those 2 that wasn't scary. So.
[05:03] Keith: Yeah I don't know. Yeah I mean they're just basically memes that have happened in 2023
[05:07] Mike: Yeah Barbie appears to be 1 of them. You could do something to do with the opnheer heimer film. Ah maybe a radiation survivor. Um, you know I mean if you really wanted to be so.
[05:22] Keith: Ah, you do Indiana Jones in the ah refrigerator.
[05:27] Mike: If you really yeah if you really wanted to be scary in this culture I mean shouldn't you do something like transphobic ah right, you could dress as Jordan Peterson or no hang on. Well, how's a police officer transphobic you don't see where I'm going with this like go go as.
[05:35] Keith: Um, be a police officer.
[05:42] Keith: Ah, you said something scary. Yeah Joe Rogan who was the thing I was going to make ah boy I could probably pull off Tucker Carlson I think I could do I could do the parted hair like him.
[05:44] Mike: Oh no here you go go is Tucker Carlson there you go. There you go the where the bow tie sure and people would find that amusing and and and and it would be quote unquote scary right.
[06:01] Keith: It might might hurt my ah dating prospects when people say like oh he's supposed to be.
[06:04] Mike: No, they it would help because you'd be sort of quote unquote mocking. You'd be mocking Tucker Carlson right
[06:10] Keith: What what? a tucker what else could be in a Tucker Carlson costume he wears not usually like a light navy suit but you need you need like another accessory.
[06:14] Mike: I Think you could just look at some episodes I don't know a lot of times he wears he wears like he he wears like faux kind of good old boy stuff like look it looks like he's down on the farm living you know.
[06:29] Keith: Oh yeah, he's got the cowboy stuff. Yeah I've seen as yeah.
[06:34] Mike: Right? Well sort of or like yeah sort of Southern or whatever and it's and I don't think that's I think it's just a getup. He's got on that.
[06:40] Keith: Right? right? All right enough of this not sense. Let's talk about sex I found a I have like almost like a Google News alert on the word threesome when it appears on Reddit um, and yeah, no I get good stuff that way. But yeah, there's a new.
[06:51] Mike: Smart.
[06:57] Keith: Ah, threesome disaster story but it's not very interesting but it had ah a tidbit in here that I wanted to ask you about So let me find exactly where it is here. So the invite he is by. He's a by man and this is a woman writing.
[07:04] Mike: All right.
[07:14] Mike: Um.
[07:15] Keith: And has indicated. He's really into going down on both of us watching us fuck and eating me out after my boyfriend comes in me. Yes, now would you enjoy seeing that. So let's say you have a partner and.
[07:22] Mike: Um, yeah, this is this is the famous fuck licking.
[07:30] Mike: What what gender am I okay.
[07:33] Keith: You're the you're a man. Okay, so you have just come inside your girlfriend and now this threesome guy partner who who is a man which's a situation I hope to never be in but let's say I was is now. Eating my girlfriend out after I came inside of her is this Ah right? Your arousal is is low and Disgust is high.
[07:51] Mike: Um, it wouldn't I mean the problem is that I just came it's It's not going to be great. Yeah I mean even if so you can I can so immediately what I thought to myself is okay, let's Imagine. It's a it's an M f f situation. It's It's a woman a very attractive woman who's going to do that. Um. Before I come Ah, it sounds compelling but afterward I I think I would just be like oh that's kind of gross like why are you doing that.
[08:20] Keith: Um, why is it? Why is it compelling like I don't I mean you're sort of dominating that man I guess.
[08:23] Mike: Oh for this I mean oh you're searching. So the reason it's compelling if it's a woman is the same reason it's compelling when you have a video with like a guy's penis and 2 women giving a blow simultaneously and sort of sharing is nut and stuff like that's because they're like they seem so eager to participate in. It's because they're interested in your semen right? I mean women aren't typically interested in so the the interests they're evincing in that situation arises arousing to you now. Okay I'll switch it to a man because that's so if you switch it to a man. Yeah I mean having a a woman and her say husband blow me at the same time is worse for me.
[09:01] Keith: agreed agreed yes a threesome with another man is no better than a 2 some.
[09:01] Mike: Than having just her below me I'd rather he leave the room. He's detracting value and the amount he's detracting is like yes, it's some so's some sort of exponential function in relation to the amount of facial area. He has so if he has like a full beard and mustache.
[09:17] Keith: Okay, yeah, body hair also not good like a hairy back or whatever. Okay.
[09:20] Mike: He's the amount of value is detracting is it's unbelievable, um, sure but the facial hair I mean I mean it's a blowjob I'm thinking of the facial hair. Um I would so yeah I mean in in terms of the ah him giving her oral sex after I come in her I would rather I'm fine if they. Do that I would rather he just be in a different room and she leave the room and that would be kind of cool actually like like now I'm going to go have this guy. It's still gross I don't want my seamen ending up in another guy's mouth. Oh to be honest I don't I don't love that I guess I would be I could make myself indifferent but I still actually don't like it.
[09:56] Keith: Um, yeah.
[09:57] Mike: Because yeah I mean it's like and then like what was it wasn't there some celebrity in the I think it was an apocryphal story but someone who some celebrity who got their stomach pumped and there was semen in there that has to be an apocryphal story. But yeah I don't want my semen in a guy's ah throat and stomach because I don't know.
[10:09] Keith: Yeah.
[10:16] Mike: Then someone might think I'm gay.
[10:18] Keith: I Just I guess I don't have any particular concern about my semen being in another man's stomach. But yeah I don't find it. It's almost hard for me to even get to this point in my thinking because I would never want to be in a sit in a threesome situation with another man.
[10:24] Mike: Throw it.
[10:37] Keith: And so ah now the threesome situation with the other man has come to a close or at least I've orgasmed and now there's still some activity going on and I guess it's my girlfriend getting eaten out by.
[10:40] Mike: Um, I think that's right, yeah.
[10:55] Keith: Some some stranger like that anyway.
[10:56] Mike: I think I would rather leave the room during that part if that was if that was what was going to happen so it so okay, yes, so this is it's It's hard to understand and like I said it's even hard to understand if it's an attractive woman doing it because of the fact that you just came. It's it's easier to understand there. But it's still not. That's not really.
[11:06] Keith: Right.
[11:15] Mike: The idea that she's going to do that would be exciting to me. But then when she actually does it I wouldn't add anything to my experience she could She could just say she's going to do it and I would get around the same benefit.
[11:21] Keith: Right? right? What exchange rate of mfm threesomes for 1 fmf threesome. is is right do you think.
[11:39] Mike: So you're saying if if your significant other proposed threesomes. But she said hey for each one of this. We got to do one of this I think it depends on your interest level in the fm and the MF scenario right? because basically it's a price you're paying something. it's it's. it's
[11:44] Keith: Exactly.
[11:59] Mike: It's ah it's sort of an exchange rate. But it's really I mean the exchange rate implies that they are both positive but the mfm situation is sort of negative in my book. Um, so it depends on how motivated you are I could certainly imagine it being 1 to one. You know if you thought hey I really really want to do MF.
[12:03] Keith: Oh you're right? Yes, that's right.
[12:13] Keith: Um, yeah I don't I don't think that's my rate.
[12:14] Mike: Like it's worth me basically having to deal with this. Well I think that once you've done a single M f f it would change. It would probably become it would move I so because I strongly suspect the Mf F isn't.
[12:23] Keith: Now it would it would devalue the um Mf have.
[12:32] Mike: As good as you would hope it would be.
[12:33] Keith: Right? Yeah, it's hard to create a all things being equal situation. Yeah, okay.
[12:40] Mike: Yeah, but yeah, yeah, I saw a video ah the other day of 2 men and a woman they and the men were doing the eiffel tower position right? So they are one is in her mess. She's on her hands and knees once in her mouth once in either I don't know one's on the back. And the men were holding their hands over you know, like holding hands with each other with their hands up like the eiffel tower and they really seem to be enjoying holding each other's hands and that really I didn't understand that part I was like I wouldn't even want to hold hands with a man like that without a woman there and all clothed. Yeah.
[13:07] Keith: Yeah, right.
[13:15] Mike: So this just yeah I mean but but whatever this this guy is purportedly bisexual hard to tell hard to tell. There's a lot. There's a fair amount of what looks to be amateur MMF and well really m fm porn.
[13:16] Keith: Was it amateur or or professional porn.
[13:30] Mike: You see a fair amount of it and so there are guys that don't mind that. Yeah I believe that there are non porn star guys that don't mind other guys' penises and ejaculations around them like I think that's a thing. It's hard for me I still think that just just as I think that with 2 men.
[13:41] Keith: Um, yeah I guess.
[13:46] Mike: Having gay sex. There must be the issue of when the first 1 comes he sort of doesn't want to continue. There must be the same issue with MFM situations that it's surprising that when one of them comes he doesn't just immediately get up and leave the room like what's he does. He really have to sit there and like watch the proceedings.
[13:48] Keith: Yeah, yeah, there's a paradox.
[14:02] Keith: Well depending on the situation you might want to surveil things to make sure I mean yeah, you get like that jealousy aspect right? Like what if my girlfriend's liking this too much.
[14:13] Mike: But it's to become surveillance right? It's no longer. You're not getting any enjoyment out of it. It's flipped completely to negative even if you enjoyed it in the first place. Um, yeah.
[14:19] Keith: Um, yes, what I mean what? even hypothetical benefit does like a heterosexual man get from a MFM right like it's it's just.
[14:30] Mike: I Some yeah.
[14:35] Keith: The same as coupled sex except now there's a man there um like um.
[14:37] Mike: I Mean there are men who consume Buco a porn. There are many who like I think it has to do with like you know making the woman even more submissive because there are I cuckled yeah well cuckold is different right? because it's that there's another guy doing it and you're just watching.
[14:47] Keith: Um, yeah, there's kuckbold fantasies too.
[14:55] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[14:57] Mike: Typically so then they they want to feel disempowered by the other guy. So so there's some dom sub thing that they're tapped that that people are tapping into there. Um, yeah, it's it's.
[15:01] Keith: Right.
[15:09] Keith: Yeah, well I remain unconvinced that threesomes are generally good idea all right? This gal says I cried after my first big o recently had my first big o I'm 24 and he is 26
[15:14] Mike: Yeah, it's difficult to understand.
[15:29] Keith: Told him every time I got close I got incredibly nervous by the feeling and never reached it even for masturbating he told me he would help fix those anxieties and he did I had sex before many times but I had trouble finishing. It's very frustrating to have sex and to masturbate because I'm not sure if I'm doing it right and flat out being afraid of the feeling So we've you know. Refer to this in recent episodes. Well going into when him and I are doing the deed he was talking to me the whole time and kissing my whole body I never had somebody actually put time into just getting me that wet I started apologizing a lot because there were times when I started to get stress and nervous. Again. So I told him and he kept talking to me gently complimenting me and kissing me in a different context. This could be considered rapy right? like she's expressing concern and he's like it's okay, baby right? So I Just want to point that out. Finally when he went inside. It actually felt good. She has actually in caps which implies that all previous.
[16:14] Mike: Yeah.
[16:20] Mike: Okay.
[16:25] Keith: Sex experiences were rape um felt good.
[16:26] Mike: 1 no, they don't have to be rape. They could just they could just be un pleaasurable. Although I think yeah, it's I think they typically it would be at least? yeah well and I think typically it would it would.
[16:32] Keith: Yeah, but if if they are unpleasurable and she was afraid to say anything then what is it anyway.
[16:43] Mike: Be somewhat unusual for it to be unpleasurable or like well I guess it could be neutral anyway. Go on.
[16:48] Keith: Yeah, all right? But then I started to get tense again from the feeling and overwhelmed. So I told him but he just kept reassuring me again. Never experienced that this is really embarrassing and I kept asking him How do I know if I get there and he just said you know, but he was right? but I cried is that normal.
[16:55] Mike: Ah, okay.
[17:07] Keith: Mean I actually started crying after I got to the big O he held me and told me not to be Embarrassed. He kept smiling at me. But now I'm too scared to show my face to him again. What the fuck has anyone ever had this happened for why did I Cry I've been going through a lot lately. Maybe it's due to that stress. Okay, so this person sounds um maybe religious like are. Her vocabulary use like calling it the big O her shame and embarrassments around this whole thing. Her lack of knowledge about this whole thing like she thinks her experience may may have been unique implies that she hasn't done even much reading on this. Um.
[17:29] Mike: Um, to his.
[17:45] Keith: I Don't okay as a man. It's very hard for me to relate to this. We. We talked about this recently. But this feeling of like not being able to get over the edge of and actually have an orgasm seems unrelatable and my question for you and the whole reason I I included. This topic is. Can most women who are able to successfully orgasm can they relate to this.
[18:11] Mike: I Think so I think I can relate to it What? what? Why? Why do you have difficulty relating to the notion of not being able to get over the art. You mean you mean never being able to get over the edge or like situationally occasionally having that having you know you're tired or whatever.
[18:29] Keith: That's different than like this lifelong. Not even knowing what an orgasm is because every time you get sexual stimulation. You sort of pull back from it.
[18:41] Mike: Yeah I think that I can't I agree I can't really relate to that I think another key element. There is that for men. So if you take a man who is having is for whatever reason like it isn't reaching orgasm quickly or it's taking a while or there you know. Ah, some you know something physical or emotional and you make them wait and not masturbate or not have sex at all for a month across that time. Period I think typically the difficulty the guy has reaching that point would decrease over that time period so there's some kind of urgency that increases in men. And I don't think there's ah necessarily an equivalent in women. Um, so so that so I think that's an important distinction is that yeah I mean you're you're thinking like if you take a man and you put him in the situation where he's the most primed meaning he hasn't had sex in some time. Maybe he's with a new partner. That's really attractive or ever. Yeah.
[19:24] Keith: Ah ha.
[19:32] Keith: Ever right.
[19:37] Mike: It's going to be very easy for me to get over the edge and that's why you have premature ejaculation and stuff like that. Um, so that's difficult. Yeah, right? So men have this kind of urgency and like rising urgency and I mean there's some like you know some people think that I don't think there's evidence for this in any meaningful way.
[19:42] Keith: Um, well and people I think people have wet dreams and stuff too I.
[19:56] Mike: But but you can see why people think this that if you don't have sex for a period of time your athletic performance goes up and you could see why they think that because it's like Wow Obviously obviously my sex drive goes up and maybe that's related to testosterone etc and it's not a crazy thought and I don't know if it's been thoroughly studied in principled way and I think.
[20:02] Keith: Are you right.
[20:15] Mike: My general senses that I've read things suggesting. It's not true, but ah, but that would be hard to study. So yeah.
[20:18] Keith: Yeah, there was a in in rocky What? what didn't mick tell rocky like not to have women around.
[20:26] Mike: Sure but it's it's ah it's sort of ah a normal thing I think ah yeah I mean they're they're different opinions on this but like you can see why that because it is the case that a man's sexual response is kind of more vigorous if he's been deprived of sex. Um, you can only imagine what what it be like if you.
[20:38] Keith: Yes, for sure.
[20:45] Mike: Ah, like with people in um, solitary confinement or something in prison. Although they're probably beating awful lot in any event women don't have I think an analogous thing right? So yeah, so for a woman it's it could be I mean some I've read some sources suggesting that women have the opposite experience that.
[20:51] Keith: And make a little beat off corner in there 6 by 6 cell.
[21:05] Mike: Ah, that's easier comes more naturally or more easily if they're having sex with some frequency. Um, probably I think that generally it may it may just not be there. There's some hormonal thing and men the hormone kind of.
[21:08] Keith: Um, if they've interesting I bet that's psychological, but maybe it's It's like.
[21:23] Mike: Goes up and up and then reaches a peak whereas for women. It's just a variable.
[21:25] Keith: Okay, all right? So we seem to have reached some sort of agreement that this is a little bit unrelatable like this not having had an orgasm because of some sort of fear Once you you get close to some hypothetical edge. Well not not.
[21:42] Mike: Um, right.
[21:45] Keith: Medical some real edge now. Do you think that women can relate to this or like would women also be like oh girl, you're insane like yeah, just just do it. It feels great or would they be like oh I remember when I felt that way too. You just have to.
[21:54] Mike: I think women I I know this is very relatable to women you see this all the time on the sex upreit of women saying that they they too had this sort of challenge at the you know when they first started masturbating having sex whatever that there's some kind of. Thing they have to get comfortable with and you know situationally it can be difficult for them to to reach orgasm. Yeah.
[22:17] Keith: Let me ask you this for you know I think the vast majority of men have had an orgasm by the time they're 15 Would you agree with that or I don't I don't know what the age is sixteen seventy there's some there's some cliff
[22:29] Mike: Um, yes, yeah yeah.
[22:36] Keith: Whereby like almost every man has had an orgasm um is there not something like that for women like I think some women can't or don't but is there just.
[22:40] Mike: Um, that's right.
[22:49] Mike: Yeah, the question of can't is an interesting one I mean it certainly could be the answers I mean there are women who report never ever having orgasms and it's like more than 10 percent. Um, and you can understand that because there's no evolutionary.
[22:57] Keith: Right.
[23:03] Mike: Benefit really to a woman having an orgasm. It's not needed. Okay, there could be an evolutionary benefit but it's not necessary for the procreation of the species. So you know you could imagine a steady state where 50% of women never have orgasms or even 90% and it doesn't make any difference whereas that wouldn't be the case for. Ah.
[23:09] Keith: Right.
[23:21] Keith: Right? It if 90% of men couldn't orgasm then 90% of men couldn't procreate. Okay, but.
[23:23] Mike: Men at least in the way humans sort of work.
[23:28] Mike: Right? I mean those those 90% wouldn't reproduce and so you they they would presumably their genes would leave the gene pool and you'd wind up with 100% of men who can orgasm. That's right.
[23:35] Keith: My expectation is the chart for women would look like something similar to men so like at age 15 the vast majority of women who can orgasm have orgasmed and then. From like 15 until like 25 they sort of like trickle in as ones that have various mental hangups. Um or trauma or whatever. Okay.
[23:55] Mike: I don't think that I I don't think it looks like the men's at all actually I think for but there's a couple things one is. There's an education dimension. So if you go back like if you go back to 1930 say so you go back 100 years the men's curve looks around the same now as it did then.
[24:09] Keith: Um, yeah.
[24:14] Mike: Ah, it would be a little bit different because there's more access to porn now more sort of knowledge sharing. So there would be more and and also like the religious attitude. Yeah yeah, and there's some men that back then there still are men who are religiously told not to and actually do that.
[24:17] Keith: It find it. It's time shifted by like six weeks or something but okay.
[24:28] Keith: Oh religious stuff? Yes, okay, fine.
[24:33] Mike: Yeah, um, but for women ah I would I would view it as probably being something like oh I mean if I had to just completely off the top of my head. Guess it's you know by age twenty. It's probably yeah back then it was probably 10 or twenty percent had by the age of 20 and then it would sort of grow to age like twenty five thirty and it probably got to like 70 % and it just stuck there in 1930 and nowadays I would guess it's much higher but it's kind of similar and important elements of that are access to information. Um and vibrators.
[24:53] Keith: Wallow. Okay, so.
[25:11] Mike: Those are two critical things that I think are different now.
[25:13] Keith: Um, so okay I'm not sure that's my intuition. My intuition is.
[25:17] Mike: Um, my intuition is without without a vibrator. It's probably under 50% meaning under 50% of women reach orgasm without a vibrator just through like masturbation and stuff like that beef and and then and then vibrators take it to like.
[25:22] Keith: Okay.
[25:34] Keith: Okay, so it's not just some simple task that almost everybody can execute at a certain by a certain age huh.
[25:34] Mike: Eighty ninety percent
[25:39] Mike: Um, right that's right I think that without and maybe maybe 50 s too low. Maybe it's 70 but I think that without my without vibrators I think there's a substantial percentage of the female population who basically can't orgasm.
[25:50] Keith: My thought has always been that most people can orgasm without vibrators. They just prefer to orgasm with Vibrators I say.
[25:57] Mike: Most yeah, no most. That's right? But I think there's I think there's like a 20% or I it would be impossible. No, but there's there's a percentage of the population where they wouldn't have found out about it or it's just they can't physically do the thing they need to do and a vibrator massively helps. And and that the trick there is that getting a vibrator is something that probably most women wait till they're 201921 something like that to get and so that delays the curve massively vis-a-vis men and so my okay so an interesting thing I would say is that ah, let's see.
[26:20] Keith: Yeah, whatever. Yeah.
[26:32] Mike: First when ah when a when a boy or a man is a virgin and first has PIV sex or oral sex. Whatever with a woman or a girl ah probably less than 5% of them have never orgasmed before and when you flip the genders. Yeah, when we flip the genders my guess is it's like 50%
[26:41] Keith: Right way less.
[26:48] Mike: 50% of girls and women. The first time they have p I v oral whatever sex. They've never had an orgasm.
[26:52] Keith: This is one of these episodes where women are going to complain that it's to 2 men talking. Yeah, we're just speculating.
[27:00] Mike: I'm just guessing statistics. Maybe they? yeah maybe they think the statistics are different I'm not saying I'm not making a value judgment. Any particular woman could have their own experience. It's just yeah I mean yeah.
[27:08] Keith: Right? Of course. Okay, all right? Let me read this other topic. All right new girl I'm seeing is extremely sensitive and comes at the drop of a hat. How can I keep from overwhelming her and we talked a bit in the past about how some people draw a line between coming and orgasming. But for the sake of this topic. Let's assume. This person means the same thing. So I a 28 year old male have started dating one of my good friends a thirty year old female and we only recently started becoming physically affectionate sex isn't on the table. So the farsis we've gotten is making out but for her that's apparently enough trouble brewing. She is extremely sensitive sexually. Made her come in less than a minute just by lightly kissing her neck or even just firm kissing I'm not even getting handsy anytime we make out she will finish 2 or 3 times at least now I absolutely love this to be clear. It's very satisfying to please her that much but I'd also like to be able to kiss her in public without her having to cover up her excitement. And ideas and how to quote mellow out the both of us so we can be affectionate without getting in trouble. Okay, setting aside that she might be lying. Ah this is another thing that just like completely unrelatable to me like.
[28:12] Mike: Stop stop lying? yeah.
[28:23] Keith: Imagine if like every time like a girl in a miniskirt walked by like I had to like you know, put my hand on the wall and like steady myself to stop myself from orgasming like that would be ah I mean I guess that's what it was like to be 18 but um, it wasn't that bad.
[28:37] Mike: No I mean but du it is it Actually you're interested. You're interested in going and beating off or something like that. But you're not going to be right? That's right.
[28:42] Keith: Yeah.
[28:47] Keith: Yeah, I'm not like overcome with some sort of physical sensation. Um I mean yeah, this is right.
[28:53] Mike: And nor would you be if you were getting the second base or something with a partner. Whatever you consider second base to be. It's not I don't think that's particularly relatable and and look I mean okay, so you want to for the purposes of discussion pretend that the woman's having orgasms or the girl in the situation.
[29:07] Keith: Sure yes.
[29:11] Mike: Um, okay so she's having contact free just purely mental orgasms I mean there are there is like a syndrome I've read about where women Well I think it's typically women have orgasms that they kind of uncontrollably all throughout the day so she might have some medical diagnosis going on there.
[29:13] Keith: Pretend.
[29:27] Keith: I went on a date with somebody about a month ago or two months ago I think I told you about her where as soon as she sat down at the table I mean we had met 30 seconds prior she reveals that she's able to induce orgasms in herself.
[29:29] Mike: Um.
[29:45] Keith: And she asked me if I wanted her to do so.
[29:50] Mike: Um, I mean I can induce orgasms of myself too. So what do you mean by that.
[29:52] Keith: She could just sit there and I don't know if she like shifts her thighs or squeezes or something but she could just make herself come maybe 90 seconds
[30:00] Mike: This was your first date and within 30 seconds so this must be a a technique that she uses to It's kind of a clever thing to say it's it reminds me of ah, an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is supposed to like talk to some guy to bar so that George can put a. Like ah, slip him a mickey I think they call it like put something like a sleeping poison in the drinkak and the thing she does is she tells him that the thing that works if she tells them that she goes to a nudist colony all the time and then like that gets his attention. So this seems like sort of along those lines right? It's she's just saying that because this is a thing that will she knows you're going to be like oh.
[30:21] Keith: Then the drink and.
[30:40] Mike: That this is this is a good person I you know she's going to get attention from you and you're going to want to a second date. Um, but okay, so did you have her do this ah trick in front of you at the restaurant. Okay well I mean what were her facial expressions like what so how long did it take.
[30:43] Keith: I Guess I mean don't I did and she claimed to I don't know how to verify.
[30:59] Keith: Um, ah maybe a little over a minute I didn't have to stop watch out.
[30:59] Mike: From like start to finish. A little over a minute and what was the most overtly orgasmic thing that happened in that minute.
[31:14] Keith: I Think her ah breathing increased I don't a bit. Yeah I mean I don't know her well enough I wish.
[31:15] Mike: Did she close her eyes.
[31:22] Mike: Okay, did she clench her hands. Okay, really so it didn't work That's amazing. What why did it not work I mean if you're willing to say.
[31:29] Keith: And just I just met her that once it did not work.
[31:37] Keith: And.
[31:39] Mike: Because it seems like a technique I would think that very commonly for a woman would raise a man's interest enough that she would at least get a second date out of just that little trick.
[31:46] Keith: I Mean if she's interested in I don't think women struggle to bed a man generally she could have just had like yeah but she could have just said at some point during the date like hey do you want to.
[31:54] Mike: She might have thought that you were a visit you were attractiveness wise out of her league or something. There's some element.
[32:05] Keith: Hook up after this.
[32:05] Mike: This is a way to do it that doesn't require to fuck you on the first day. It's kind of clever on some level. She's she's she's basically suggesting that she has this sexual talent that you're likely to be intrigued by and and keep her around for a period of time. But yeah, but it did not work on you you you.
[32:09] Keith: And gas.
[32:18] Keith: Um, yeah.
[32:25] Mike: Were not kept around. Okay, um, yeah, my guess is she's not she did not have an orgasm. She just has like a little Parlor trip trick thing she does ah you could have said you you should have said to her that you could do it too and then you could have like you could have both had orgasms at each other that would have been.
[32:27] Keith: That's right.
[32:42] Keith: Um I can't yeah but with a man there's some physical release.
[32:44] Mike: Pretty who cares, she can't either Keith I'll just tell her tell her that you you if it's a dry orgasm when you do it do it without what it's retrograde. It goes up into your bladder just tell her it's dry like look you know I can I can induce the sensation. But yeah, nothing no semen comes out.
[32:55] Keith: Yeah.
[33:04] Mike: When I do it that way and I don't know why I guess you need some physical stimulation of the penis to to get that that would have been a decent repost to have said that.
[33:06] Keith: Right? All right.
[33:14] Keith: Um, why like what? what does that gain me.
[33:16] Mike: Ah, it's calling or bluff and just calling your bluff in what I think is an amusing way and then you get and then you get no and then you get to so simulate orgasm in front of a stranger legally like not have it be a crime.
[33:24] Keith: Um, yeah.
[33:26] Keith: Yeah, but I guess trolling people in the first ninety seconds of a date is generally a bad strategy.
[33:34] Mike: Okay, well you did you didn't know where the date was going. You thought oh maybe? okay okay I so I have to be so I have to be honest that the reason I assumed that the reason you didn't have a second date was her level of physical attractiveness was too low. So I was thinking. Okay, so.
[33:37] Keith: No I didn't I mean it started auspiciously.
[33:53] Mike: Then you would actually be able to already within 90 seconds know hey this is somebody the trolling might make sense with yeah, that was my my rationale there I figured if she was attractive then that little party trick she did at the beginning would be enough for you to want a second date. Yeah.
[33:58] Keith: How I say.
[34:12] Keith: Yeah I understand your thinking? Yeah, um, but ok, this notion of like just Lucy Goosey orgasms at all times is sort of unrelatable to me.
[34:12] Mike: Evidently not. Okay.
[34:29] Keith: And you know just as the notion of an orgasm like you've never had like it's just this like thing that you know that people can do but you're just unable to do it this the other side of that pendulum swing which is just they're happening constantly. It's just both.
[34:46] Mike: Um, what it reminds. It reminds me of these videos I've seen I've seen several of them of people walking through like a mall or a store and the the claim is and I don't know if they're fake because but the claim is that the person shits themselves just like.
[34:47] Keith: Totally foreign.
[35:02] Mike: But and not like diarrhea like a piece of poop comes out of and falls on the ground and they just keep walking. You can find videos like that you can find numerous videos like this online and and the argument is always. This is just some like antisocial fuck that like had to go to the bathroom and they just were never like they don't. They just have like no manners or something and they just left a poop and they just walk off. You've never seen a video like this.
[35:23] Keith: Ah, no, but this is odd because this the second time I've heard about faecal incontinence today. So it's strange five. Yeah yes.
[35:32] Mike: Okay, this isn't this isn't necessarily incontinence. This is a person with a skill I'm I'm drawing an analogy here. Ah this is a person I mean imagine so imagine if you're if someone says hey I'll give you $10000 if you run at an 8 minute mile pace and while running you poop.
[35:45] Keith: Are.
[35:50] Mike: So like at some point while running just like a horse does I think a horse can do this pooh has to fall out of your body and you have say like you know 20 minutes to do it I think that would be really challenging ah to to accomplish that. Ok um, so this this ok.
[35:54] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah I could not I cannot maybe if I was diareal.
[36:07] Mike: But this makes me think of this is sort of similar in the sense that it's typically these kinds of bodily functions require a little bit of preparation a little bit of mental energy not doing something else like you know, various circumstantial things and so yes I too in the same way that I find it. Hard to believe these people walk through a mall and just shit themselves and just a poop rolls out of their pants and they walk Along. It would be hard for me to imagine them having an orgasm that being said I find it somewhat believable when when women have ah tales of having an orgasm because of the vibration of a bus I knew someone. A woman who claimed that she had had an orgasm while riding a horse. Ah a a bare back because it gave her her vulva substantial as a sufficient amount of stimulation. Um, yeah, and and then also there's the squeezing your thighs together thing which I think would be kind of slow. But.
[36:48] Keith: Um, yes, ah yeah I've heard of this before? yeah.
[37:03] Mike: Would be believable someone doing all that in 30 seconds and not so sure about that I think it's almost certainly faked or and with ah with female faked orgasm of that situation I always have to throw in the possibility that she doesn't know what she means or she's yet. She's defining the word orgasm differently than than we are so I guess.
[37:08] Keith: Um, yeah.
[37:13] Keith: What an orgasm is.
[37:22] Mike: And maybe this is the right way to come across this because I've recently learned that the term cis male and cis female comes from chemistry is that right? where cis I learned this from a high schooler Cis and ciss is a type of.
[37:27] Keith: O.
[37:38] Mike: Chemical bond or something like that when you say ciss something rather it means like the chemical is unaltered or something like that so we could call it a Cis orgasm. Ah so I'm talking about cis orgasms perhaps they're having trans orgasms which I cannot comment on the cis orgasm being a real.
[37:43] Keith: Ah.
[37:54] Mike: Real like like the thing that a scientists would call an orgasm but I don't want to misgender their version of orgasms and if they want to give it the name orgasm as well. That's fine I will just add my little prefix.
[38:07] Keith: Yeah, you overloading the vocabulary and of ah in a provocative way aside. Ah I I think there's a thing that women can do.
[38:16] Mike: I'm just trying to use the same technique that the these folks use.
[38:24] Keith: That is not analogous to the male experience or sub women can do and I just don't understand it So I don't have an opinion on whether that should be called an orgasm or not I think they have an orgasm that is very analogous to the male orgasm and then there's like some other thing that neat.
[38:41] Mike: Yeah I think I mean look you can you can I mean there's the only pushback I would have on that is that I think it's unlikely, it's actually not analogous to the mail experience I Just think you would have to find the right thing. So I mean for example, you can get very euphoric states through hyperventilation.
[38:43] Keith: Maybe this woman was able to perform within 90 seconds I just don't know.
[39:00] Mike: Ah, through some sort of edging so you get close to orgasm and your penis sort of twitches some um and then like you but you don't have an orgasm but it's it's pleasurable. The twitches are pleasurable right? That sort of twinges of of going on there. Um, you can have ah I mean getting like a massage you can have.
[39:13] Keith: Um, yeah.
[39:18] Mike: Kind of euphoric states So these yeah so I'm not exactly sure which of these euphoric states is analogous to.
[39:20] Keith: Yeah, but women women often ah explain waves of pleasure in a way that I have never really felt.
[39:32] Mike: Um, that sounds to me like an orgasm like a Cis orgasm. So.
[39:33] Keith: Yeah, maybe all right? Let's move on this person writes husband illustrates and animates porn of himself with redheads while I sleep most mornings. It's a little bit lengthy but i's and and I haven't read it for well. So I don't know if it's worth the read. But i'm. But let's do it our 20 year anniversary is next year we've we're between thirty five and forty five it's odd ah yeah over the last 5 to 10 years I've learned my husband has a hobby of drawing porn as technology.
[40:04] Mike: It's a secret.
[40:11] Keith: And his knowledge of photoshop after effects etc grows. So do the breadth of his work There are multiple characters all redheads with names. He has tons and tons and tons of files of these women in different positions either completely nude with fire red pussies to match or body suits thighives lingerie sounds nice I'd like to see this archive. He then animates himself into the porn fucking them and most recently spanking them I'm also a child of abuse so spanking is definitely not my thing but would even be willing to do that if it stops this it not. It's not just a once in a while watch porn and jerk. It kind of thing he dedicates hours and hours each month on it while I'm asleep in the next room.
[40:42] Mike: Help it.
[40:49] Keith: He's up at four a m to get ready for work but usually has 1 to 3 hours to himself each morning. He's admitted to me over the years that it's a hobby. He's always had if he wants to watch porn here or they're great I'm not happy about it. But that would be better than this I've asked him to wake me up if he's horny asked him to tell me he isn't drawing porn as a thing to turn me on. I've given up begging and pleading and having massive blowups about this now I'm just perpetually sad. We have a good sex life. but I just ended up but I just end up laying awake each morning crying quietly because I just assume he's trying porn again. Granted he does a lot of good things with his skills. Do. Video editing animation for Youtube channel we have but I just assume that usually it's porn I'm kind of a prude I watch porn like quarterly just because my imagination is fine to rub one out I would be happy to try new things etc if he could just stop spending so much time on it or just asking for what he wants. And learned he's now paying for a website where you can pose different nude models for art which he then uses as the base for women I know where he hides the files and lately I just go and look at the progress of who he's working on next or where he's animating himself into it into her and then cry. Looking at the file history I saw he even worked on stuff in the early morning on my birthday. Okay, yeah, all right a little bit more I'm not asking him not to jerk off or never watch porn I'm just so sad and overwhelmed I'm not planning to leave him or anything but just trying to imagine my future life where this is still a daily part of his life. There's not really.
[42:02] Mike: Um, good for him.
[42:17] Keith: Anyone online that has had this issue just people bothered by their husbands watching porn. Overall so short of a sex therapist I don't know what to do I also have Ocd and can't stop thinking about it. 1 note it usually goes in phases sometimes he stops but not that often.
[42:30] Mike: Well, he just changes he has he has like different thumb drives he uses. She's not it. Never he never stops. Maybe it gets Carpal tunnel. You don't think it's relevant that he stops sometimes.
[42:39] Keith: I Don't even know if it's relevant from from so much time on the Ipad um I don't I mean this is not great. Ah.
[42:50] Mike: Why I think it's completely fine I think she's I think she's 100% wrong like I mean I don't think there's that much difference between this and like ah day guy and the what was it he would draw the ah the ballot. Well they were under they were under age the ballerinas I mean.
[43:03] Keith: The dancers. Yeah.
[43:09] Mike: He's just he's He's an artist. He's showing he's drawing I Really don't think I don't understand why I genuinely don't understand why she's so upset about this like who cares? like yeah I mean who cares.
[43:21] Keith: I think it's a little bit more well. Okay, first of all, ah lots of women are upset when their partners look at porn generally so this is like ah something worse than that and so.
[43:33] Mike: I Think it's better than that because the ah the argument that I've heard from women that I think has some merit is that porn is kind of Exploit exploitative and unrealistic see you're yeah there there's a there out both of those right.
[43:42] Keith: I Think that is some women's complaint but a lot of women also have a jealousy aspect.
[43:51] Mike: Um, okay, but yeah, ah, that's not let's see that's not realistic right? Ah men that that's that's that's that's the woman's problem. Not the man's problem like this is women on that are that are uncomfortable with the human condition.
[43:57] Keith: No it.
[44:06] Keith: Sure I Just think that this is ah like another worse manifestation of that like I I think because he's ah because it's like.
[44:11] Mike: Um, why is it worse.
[44:19] Keith: He's imagining himself. He's explicitly imagining himself with other women. It's like more. It's more obvious than what's going on when a man is watching porn because he's literally drawing himself into it.
[44:29] Mike: Okay, but so it's it's ah so you're saying that it doesn't require the the very slight amount of introspection that's needed to realize that when men watch porn they're imagining themselves as the penis I mean that Okay, fine.
[44:39] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[44:44] Mike: Fine because he's explicitly drawing look here, put it this way Keith someday this will be possible. Let's say there were there was a version of porn hub that was called pornhub Keith and they had an Ai that could make it so that you were the one fucking all the people would you use that version or the original porn star.
[44:53] Keith: And yeah.
[45:02] Keith: Oh I use pornhub Keith no no question I'm not I'm not disagreeing with your analysis here I'm just saying that like ah her experience like this is actually something worse like for somebody who's unreasonable about but this kind of thing.
[45:03] Mike: Yeah, for sure. So all guys want this? okay.
[45:18] Keith: Like this is actually worse.
[45:18] Mike: I Think it's the same I think that I don't Okay, she says she'd be okay with she's okay with him watching Porn I sort of don't believe her and suspect that it's around the same and and actually to me This is much better because he's expending creative energy like the drawings he's doing might it sounds like they're very realistic because they bother.
[45:27] Keith: M.
[45:34] Keith: It's not he's honing his craft.
[45:37] Mike: Like if they were just stick figures. She would Well he's he must be a decent artist like well she said he's like gotten better and better with laugh. It's It's a little odd like his level of obsession that might worry me about his like mental health. Ah.
[45:48] Keith: You you don't think getting up at what what time did she say it gets up 4 a m.
[45:54] Mike: He's just doing that because she freaks out she's lying in bed crying which is itself nutty in my opinion. But okay, he's yeah, he's avoiding her about it. Ah, he's he has his art I mean I assume she's not a redhead so she might be worried deep down that he has.
[46:09] Keith: Um, oh yeah, she doesn't mention that at all.
[46:12] Mike: Right? That she maybe she has a he she's afraid that he has a girlfriend on the side. That's a redhead or that he's going to leave her for a redhead I guess that that would be sort of a rational fear right? Oh you have this thing that I can't do.
[46:25] Keith: I Guess I mean the redhead thing is almost like that's almost something I can explain I mean it sounds like he is an artist and you know artists will often have like ah like a trademark or a thing they specialize in and maybe hitting his thing is fire crotches I don't know.
[46:38] Mike: Sure they're different levels of red also right I mean there're there's sort of more ah Auburn red and then there's true like fire red. Okay, okay well I mean she should.
[46:44] Keith: Yeah, didn't she say at some point she had a parenthetical in here with fire red pussies to match. So you know.
[46:56] Mike: So this does mean that he is drawing them with pubic hair. So so she doesn't have the complaint that he's making them look like children. Yeah, so I mean there's that positive because that's that's also a common complaint I Just think I just think like when when I was trying to think while you were reading this if there's an analogy.
[47:00] Keith: Um, the the pedophile thing. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
[47:15] Mike: And I'm sure there is you? Maybe you can think of one where where men complain about something that is just so intrinsic to women. Maybe yeah, the analogy I usually reach for is something like women looking at baby pictures you know liking pictures of small children. Ah, being maternal in certain ways and men just finding you know, getting really annoyed with that. Ah,, there's some kind of an analogy there women need to come to grips with the reality that all men ah want to fuck lots of women. It's our biological purpose. It's it's it's the meaning of life for men.
[47:46] Keith: This is.
[47:51] Mike: Ah, there are other possible Meanings. There's other things we can do but that there's like an important background process running in every man's brain where we want to do this and. Once you understand that and accept it. It's like oh okay, so this is what so if you want to be with a man you're being with a person who has this background process if you don't want that then don't be with a man like all men are like this and I mean he's being more honest than most about what exactly how exactly it manifests.
[48:14] Keith: Yeah, I'm thinking about this a bit like okay, let's say I was a really good comic artist and you know I spent you know a bunch of hours every day you know doing my job which was to do comic art for something I could imagine cultivating a hobby.
[48:21] Mike: Okay.
[48:28] Mike: Sure.
[48:34] Keith: Of drawing some porn.
[48:37] Mike: I Think be interesting to try to draw a something that was good enough that you could beat off to it and and and arousing I think it would be hard. Yeah I think you probably want to exchange with other people because you would remember.
[48:44] Keith: Yeah, is it like tickling yourself. Yeah is it like tickling yourself. You can't really do it. Um.
[48:54] Mike: Too much about how you drew it and it'll be too technical for you. But okay, but you're trying to imagine being a comic artist go on.
[48:56] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, okay yeah I could imagine exploring this this notion of of drawing of drawing pornography. Um, so maybe the problem here is the obsession with it.
[49:07] Mike: Um, yeah.
[49:11] Keith: Or at least the obsession that she's imagining.
[49:11] Mike: I Think your take Okay I mean your take I think was your take was basically this is the same thing as it's well she says she's okay with porn. She probably isn't your take was like it's.
[49:20] Keith: I Think this is slightly worse than porn because it's it's him and he's cultivating this like sort of fantasy world with you know fire crotches everywhere.
[49:35] Mike: Which is which is which you think is worse this or having your own subreddit where you post porn. You've curated what? oh yeah I've ah yeah, those who don't know I have a subreddit. It's got.
[49:44] Keith: Ah, that's probably a good time for for a promo here.
[49:52] Mike: 15 or 16000 followers now it's called curated amateur porn and ah yeah I mean I got banned so the trick I've started getting more subscribers now. Maybe I shouldn't say what the trick is actually I'll say because nobody listens not not enough people listen for that to matter we have a lot of listeners just not enough for it to matter. Um.
[49:55] Keith: Who.
[50:02] Keith: Yeah, okay.
[50:11] Mike: The ah the trick is I got banned from Nsf W four and one where I was sort of advertising it. So now I have another account I made and got the requisite sort of karma and time ah to be able to now occasionally post it there and it started growing it because basically every time I posted on that thing as an answer to a because people will ask hey.
[50:19] Keith: I Say ephus.
[50:29] Keith: Um, yeah.
[50:30] Mike: <unk>s a subreddit that's like this and I'll wait till it's completely contextual. The problem is like got banned because I'm the moderator of it. You're not allowed to promote your own subreds Anyway, every time I post it I'll get like a thousand new followers. So people obviously appreciate it which made it sort of Shitty they banned me for promoting it. So.
[50:36] Keith: I see.
[50:44] Keith: Yeah, they probably have that rule because of some problems they've had in the past with self-promotion.
[50:51] Mike: Well, the problem is going to yeah the problem is going to be the problem that everybody has on Reddit with porn is camirls and um, only fansg girls and I'm not yeah so so what I'm doing is extremely unusual.
[50:59] Keith: Right? right.
[51:05] Mike: Which gets back to the point that maybe what I'm doing is something that a significant others should find really upsetting. Why would a man curate porn and then I think why would a man not curate porn I think all men on some level curate the porn. Every man has like a top five porns.
[51:08] Keith: Um, yeah, ah.
[51:20] Keith: I don't I don't for me the top 5 is constantly changing because I don't like seeing the same thing twice.
[51:28] Mike: Yeah, but there's we've talked about this before there aren't like a few that are you're just like yeah that one that 1 works. Yeah.
[51:34] Keith: There's some that I remember from back in the day. But so it's almost like nostalgia more than arousal.
[51:43] Mike: There's just some that I find like for hit all the right beats or whatever for me and so then that it's not nostalgia. It's it's that they it's that it's they're so reliable. It's good. You're like oh yeah I Really like this and of course people can see some of them posted on my subredd. So it's not a mystery what those are.
[51:47] Keith: Um, right.
[51:59] Keith: Yeah, yeah, that's a curatedated curated amateur porn for those interested. Okay, all right, let's get to this last topic here. So this person says ah my guy lasts forever. My my. So she's a 28 year old female new partner who's a 31 year old male lasts forever in bed. Honestly, it's the point where I'm just getting sore down there and I just don't even want to continue having sex and I've gotten off 3 plus times and he still can keep going I've tried giving oral before and etc but he still lasts forever even with the foreplay. It's selfish of me to to stop him because I've just had enough I can't be going at it for 30 minutes to an hour to hours at a time just over it and even though I'm still quote unquote wet I just don't want to keep going any thoughts on how to battle this issue I feel guilty and selfish for stopping him since I finish multiple times but he doesn't. Another borderline rape situation in different context. Oh her 3 plus times of orgasms. Yeah, but what's.
[52:51] Mike: Oh either you a borderline like fake sorry whether whether there's cis orgasms or not That's what I well I mean and I'm not denying that that can happen look a man can have 3 plus orgasms. It's not It's not that it's just. When a when a woman starts grandstanding that she's having zillions of orgasms all the time I start getting suspicious that they're not Cis orgasms. Yes, yeah let's not get into that sure.
[53:15] Keith: It's a little suss. Yeah, right, Let's not prociferate on that particular point. What can a woman do if her man has death grip.
[53:23] Mike: Oh you're so you're assuming he has death grip which is his he's masturbating too much and too intensely.
[53:28] Keith: I'm not assuming I mean it can be whatever like what can she do to ah amp up this. Ah you know the building toward an orgasm for him.
[53:36] Mike: I mean I my guess would be okay in most cases I think the death grip is a consequence of her being unavailable for sex. So in most cases, the guy would choose partnered sex over masturbation that is not always true. But like so that the first thing to do is to ah try to understand better his masturbation frequency and then try to match that instead with partnered sex to eliminate the masturbation or vastly lower it now for some guys that doesn't work maybe because he wants to draw redheaded pictures.
[54:03] Keith: Um, yeah.
[54:13] Mike: But haired pictures maybe because he has some special porn. He likes to watch and there it's going to be a lot harder and I don't know I think that women I think there is a quandary women can have there. Okay.
[54:20] Keith: Ok I have a callback of my own here. Is it possible that he is having some sort of mental block and he can't let go similar to the experience that some women have with trying to have orgasms.
[54:36] Mike: Ah, yeah, well I mean I think that can that's sort of the same as death grip sometimes right? Okay, it's psychological instead of physically he's getting plenty of sensation but he just can't get over the edge. Um, it's possible but I would expect him to have the same problem in masturbating.
[54:44] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[54:53] Mike: Because masturbating is inherently less stimulating. He might not be that attracted to his like there could actually be like a relationship issue here.
[54:53] Keith: Um, yeah.
[54:59] Keith: I Think there's that I think some women have trouble they can orgasm on their own but not with men like they they get stuck in some sort of mental thing and I can imagine.
[55:15] Mike: That's cool. Yeah.
[55:16] Keith: Something like that for for men where they feel nervous or something.
[55:21] Mike: Um, oh sure if you if yes, if you at some point as a guy so she doesn't say that he doesn't finish but at some point as a guy if you feel like hey I should have already come by now I've had this happen. You're like I should have already come by now it gets hard. It can get harder because it's like well yeah, you start. Getting self-conscious like how long am I going to make this go on for how how long is this going to last that would be more likely like if you're trying to have a second or third a third or orgasm in a session and then it's like it you know and and typically the the the positive on that side is typically like you don't get blue balls if you just stop because you've already satisfied yourself enough.
[55:41] Keith: Yeah, um.
[55:44] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[55:52] Keith: Right? right? or it's a much more mild effect. Yeah.
[55:57] Mike: Um, but sure that yeah, but that yeah I think that absolutely could be in that sense that is psychological your your site you're you're you're being watched whereas if you're beating off, you could take a long time where you could just be like ah whatever I'll do it later and who cares right.
[56:10] Keith: Yeah I'm over it. Ah come back to this later. Ah, what could she do to I don't know Persuade ah put at ease his mind.
[56:26] Mike: Well I mean they're explicitly she could you mean about not orgasming or ah I mean it's tricky because see she does want him to stop. She could say.
[56:28] Keith: M.
[56:39] Mike: She could say oh it doesn't matter how long it takes you know it's fine, but the problem is it does matter she wants him to stop so I'm not sure she really can put him at ease ah and anything that she does and along that axis will basically put a clock over his head like imagine imagine if you had a girlfriend. Maybe you've had 1 that did this.
[56:44] Keith: Um, yeah.
[56:56] Mike: Who put set her iphone up next to the bed and started like a 30 minute timer and just said look when this expires werere done like well I guess that's what an escort does more or less. Ah, so yeah I mean that would make it hard I actually it's an interesting point. Ah if I think you would agree with this if you had a partner do that it would.
[56:57] Keith: Right? right? yeah.
[57:15] Mike: Probably make it harder to orgasm especially if it got down to 5 minutes like if the if the phone started at 3 minutes it'd be really hard. So then it's like okay, what if it started 6 at 12 I mean you know.
[57:21] Keith: Um, yeah.
[57:26] Keith: Right? right? right? right? Yeah, there's a sliding scale there. Yeah I mean I guess he could also be on an ssri. There's there's various potential explanations here.
[57:31] Mike: So yeah.
[57:38] Mike: If She's repeatedly orgasm or cisorgasming during the Encounter. He might perceive that she's she's enjoying it so it might be that she's being so ah obviously pleasured that he doesn't yeah I mean. Right? There could she could play a role in that too like maybe maybe she could not tone it down I mean this really calls for a conversation but but but she could ask she could query her own orgasmic response here you know.
[57:54] Keith: Yeah.
[58:08] Keith: Yeah I dug through the comments a bit more the original poster says he is on an ssri so that makes us kind of boring.
[58:16] Mike: Um, well I mean that's ah, that's like a problem that is somewhat common. It's it's sort of him.
[58:20] Keith: Yeah, for those that for those that don't know an ssri is a antidepressant a very common antidepressant.
[58:28] Mike: Yeah, and those will those can make it hard I don't know if they I got well I've heard no I've heard anecdotally that they can make it so you don't get erections also but it's a little bit different than the ah yeah and it can and it can make it take a really long time to orgasm.
[58:35] Keith: Yeah, well lower sex drive Generally I think.
[58:43] Keith: Yeah.
[58:46] Mike: Ah, for women it can make orgasms completely elusive. Um, so he well they have so there is there. There are meds you can take in addition to an antidepressant if this is a problem that and I'm not going to like give medical advice here but you can look up.
[58:49] Keith: Seems like you would need to take an antidepressant for your antidepressant I think it would be.
[59:04] Mike: Google will love you looking it up because I'm sure the ad that you might click is worth like a thousand dollars if you click it? Um, so you can but you can search for that and there are yeah yes, there are there are none no that because all that does is it makes you have.
[59:07] Keith: Oh right. So there's some libido enhancing drug. It's not just viagra or sea Alice or whatever. Okay.
[59:23] Mike: An erection but there are things that augment there either. You can switch antidepresssants where you can use something in addition that brings back some amount of libido I'd imagine also for a guy testosterone might be relevant. You know they have ah on a Cnn or something they run these ads for some.
[59:34] Keith: Yeah.
[59:42] Mike: Something it's it's over the counter that is supposed to increase your testosterone and the ads have like former athletes on them like Doug Fluty and like is it shack I'm not sure I think it oh front. No I think there might be 1 with Shaq that sounds wrong doesn't it.
[59:53] Keith: It's not it's Frank Thomas I think he is a a baseball player. But yeah I don't think he would stoop to that. But you know the cash is enough. Maybe he would.
[01:00:03] Mike: Yeah, and they're all like yeah when you're over 40 man you need that t and they're basically all saying they got like droopy dicks.
[01:00:09] Keith: Well I've read about women taking testosterone post Menopause and then having that increase their sex drive. That's a thing I've read about a few times now.
[01:00:19] Mike: No, you're right? It's Frank Thomas my bad sorry shack.
[01:00:26] Keith: I yeah, he's famously in these sort of like men's health ads. That's why I thought it might be him anyway, that'll do it for this episode of your mileage may v ah we like getting feedback you can email us feedback toymmvpod at Gmail.com we pay $10 for all feedback. So just give us your Paypal or venmo or whatever. Also you can also ask us questions. There. Let us know whether you'd like us to use them on the air or not and yeah, thanks for listening and we'll catch you next week on your mileage may vary.

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Episode 141: A Hungry MMF Beast, Women Climaxing Too Easily, Men Climaxing Too Slowly, The Illustrated Man

Episode Transcript