Your Mileage May Vary: Hairy Situations, Knowledge Gaps, Animal Spirits, Facial Demands, Animals

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial but mostly in good faith on today's show we're going to discuss going down on women with a lot of hair down there. A man who is afraid to facialize I think that's the right word.
[00:09] Mike: So.
[00:18] Keith: And a woman who can't get enough sex and more I'm Keith my co-host is Mike and Mike identified the website that I mislabeled as bait make bait mate last week. it's called yeah it's called Jerk Mate Bait mate would be better.
[00:28] Mike: Um, beat mate and this was the one where you can find people to beat off with.
[00:37] Keith: Yes, that presumably I have have not investigated further than the ads that I see on porn hub Jerk Ma Jerk made. It's not bait made it is jerk mate. Yeah, maybe.
[00:45] Mike: Paid made ah well with the jerk mate. Yeah I recognize that name now. Yeah I mean it's That's just a cam site. Um, so I think yeah, it's just it's just well of course.
[00:57] Keith: Oh okay and they pretend that these women are ah yeah, the woman on the on Patriot now is.
[01:03] Mike: Know they're they're they're just camir right? I mean they'll theya look. It's not that hard if you so desire to get a woman to accompany you during your masturbation journey actually um if you had an unlimited amount of money to spend. It could be sort of entertaining to get a cam girl and just say just just be like look I do I don't.
[01:17] Keith: Ah.
[01:21] Mike: I Don't you don't need to give me a show or anything I Just want you to like hang out with me while I beat off.
[01:24] Keith: But I don't think that would be arousingly compelling for me.
[01:29] Mike: No I don't think it would be but it would be kind of especially if you screen shared with her so she had to watch your porn like what do you think of this one.
[01:36] Keith: Yeah, but asking her what she thinks of this one. It's yeah like it's like an anthropological experiment but I don't think it would help me have a better orgasm right.
[01:43] Mike: Yeah, right? No, it wouldn't It would probably be distracting and she would find it kind of confusing and and and and it would be hard because she wouldn't know exactly what kind of reaction she was you know she'd like how am I supposed to perform in this situation.
[01:57] Keith: Yeah, she's calibrating everything to try and get more tokens or whatever.
[02:01] Mike: Right? It's not. It's not the tip but but but I mean I think it's possible. It's possible with some cam girls that like if you had an abnormal interaction like that that it could be sort of interesting because it would be she would be so unused to having guys interact with her that way.
[02:15] Keith: Right? right.
[02:19] Mike: Used to like the kind of fastball in the middle where he just like is kind of excited about it or tits or whatever.
[02:25] Keith: Right? Yeah, you can imagine that but that's the 1 in 100 or less results there. Um, we talked about a few episodes ago about how well we've talked about this.
[02:30] Mike: Um, yeah, yeah.
[02:41] Keith: Bunch about how there is this big disparity in the ease that it is for a woman to find somebody to have sex with versus a man and I feel like you know part of that is women well another aspect of that is that women don't want to have sex.
[02:46] Mike: Oh yes.
[03:00] Keith: As much and so yeah, like their their constant experience is is it something like the way I am in my post not clarity where I'm like refracting and I'm not feeling the urge to have sex as much anymore like is that the constant experience for women like they're feeling less urge and.
[03:15] Mike: I suspect Yeah I don't think that they would necessarily have the I assume that you like a lot of men experience a certain amount of almost repulsion towards sexual thoughts during post-nut clarity so they might not go that far.
[03:19] Keith: Even if they did it would be available.
[03:32] Keith: Yeah, Disgust is the word I would use. But yeah.
[03:34] Mike: It would be more neutral than that. Okay, but it would be more neutral than that right? I mean so it's just sort of like a general sort of like oh this is sort of pleasant I'm here with another person touching them and stuff like that. But it's not sexual in that like it's not building toward of orgasm. So yeah I think that's probably right.
[03:48] Keith: Right? Okay, so are women in a way sort of enlightened like they don't need to have these earthly concerns that men need to have and they can.
[04:01] Mike: I Think that's right so that yeah for a woman A woman's perspective on what's happening during sex is I think so it varies because I mean you could have something it depends on. Depends on how it depends on what's happening because I immediately was thinking in my head. Well if she she may have difficulty being objective about what's happening if it's kind of doing something to her body. That's kind of aggressive. But I think their general perspective on what's happening during sex is a lot more objective than.
[04:27] Keith: Mm.
[04:32] Mike: Then the one a man has a man's experience is much more like you take a drug that makes all these crazy things go on in your brain and then the drug and you take another drug and it suddenly goes away and it's like this kind of roller coaster.
[04:40] Keith: Um, yeah, right? Yeah, but are women I'm more interested in their experience like outside of the bedroom like men are like constantly thinking about sex and.
[04:50] Mike: A.
[04:56] Keith: Drives a lot of their behaviors like probably a lot of their competitive behaviors and you know desire to like achieve and so forth, but women don't have. They're not like saddled with this like constant. Ah you know obsession.
[05:04] Mike: A.
[05:15] Mike: I mean I think women women have a different I mean women have sort of their hormonal cycle right? And so ah, that's right? But on the other hand it ah makes it so that a woman is more used to having.
[05:16] Keith: It's.
[05:20] Keith: Um, they do. But that's a that's on a much like slower. Yeah.
[05:32] Mike: Their emotional states ah be explainable by these kind of hormonal cycles men have something the similar but I don't think that men because it's not as predictable and sort of yeah, predictably like it's not a sine wave like it is for a woman. Whatever wave you want to think of for a man. It relates to. Specific. It's more event based right? I'm aroused I'm not aroused I don't think men. It's I don't think it's as obvious to men that their behavior and their drives and so forth are hormonally based as it is for women So then they can I think it's easier for women to to.
[05:54] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[06:07] Mike: To ascribe these things to the way they're feeling they say oh I'm feelinging this way because of this or where I am in this cycle whereas for men I think it takes a lot of reflection to realize like oh I did that because I was super horny like I don't think that's a second nature for a guy to see that and it's definitely the case that women you know depending.
[06:16] Keith: Right.
[06:26] Mike: Ah, how they feel will have much different experiences of sex whereas a guy is typically going to be sort of pretty horned up when he gets into the bedroom but but women like put it this way women. All women have a lot of experience with having sex when they're not horny.
[06:40] Keith: Yeah, yeah I can and I can't imagine right I mean.
[06:43] Mike: Whereas men basically don't right? So they know what that feels like and it's it's it's you know it's not I mean women have the advantage of being kind of more I don't know more interested in human contact in certain ways than sometimes men can be so maybe it's not ah, a negative but it could be not as.
[06:57] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[07:03] Mike: You know it's sort of not a massive positive and I think that's where you get a lot of these sort of complaints. Um about male behavior and so forth on the other hand women also experience being super horny and a lot of times. It can be related to their sort of hormonal cycles. They also know what that's like. But then again they might they would probably say oh this is hormonal like I just ovulate it.
[07:10] Keith: Yeah.
[07:21] Keith: yeah yeah I have a um topic that I want to get to. We probably won't have time today but about women who take testosterone and the differences they notice in their sex drive because I think we could have an interesting conversation around that.
[07:35] Mike: Yeah, we definitely could I mean I've I've heard or read reports of women describing taking male hormones as putting them into a state of mind. They've never experienced before um, that might not be exactly right? But yeah, okay.
[07:43] Keith: Right? Yeah, yeah let's stable that for now. Ah um, okay I had 1 other piece of I guess banter before we get to the topics I teased in the intro. Um, so I have a picture of me on my online dating profiles in front of. Petra which is this I don't know ruins and in Jordan and.
[08:09] Mike: I can help people with this petra hang on Petra is ah a church or a sort of ah a kind of almost a cathedral type thing that's carved into the side of the wall of a canyon and inside of that. So the way you get there is you have to? um, come on a horse. Ah, and ah usually you're guided there by um, some some artifacts that you find from like a medieval night and inside of there actually is the holy grail right? and you have to go into this room and if you take the holy grail what a hundred.
[08:35] Keith: Um, what percentage of people ah understand what percentage of people understand this reference.
[08:45] Mike: Every person listening gets it? Yeah, but that's right though, right? And then there's an earthquake if you take the wrong Grail or if you try to take the grail out of there and there's an old man in there. That's like 700 years old et etc etc. etc yeah that's Petra I think Keith I think more people know what I'm saying than know what Petra is just without.
[08:45] Keith: In your mind right? right? right? right? Yeah, yeah, so I guess.
[09:03] Keith: Yes I think the main reason that Petra became such a famous tourist destination is because of Indiana Jones and the last crusade but for sure.
[09:04] Mike: Any more information and I think more people have seen the Indiana Jones movies than have seen and understand what Petra is so.
[09:16] Mike: I think a lot of times media causes cultural things like that like I was just thinking today about how all these people this Netflix documentary call or show cause all these people to start watching formula one racing and like I have this rant I can do about it about how annoying that is but I won't get into it.
[09:33] Keith: Okay, yeah, maybe another time ah is it. Okay I would expect women in their say twenty s who almost certainly have not seen Indiana Jones in the last crusade or at least don't treat it with the reverence that people of our generation. Do.
[09:35] Mike: Fear.
[09:41] Mike: Yeah, okay, they've only seen the the one with the refrigerator and then the other one with the Geriatric Indiana jones the fourth and fifth episodes in the trilogy I don't care. Yeah.
[09:52] Keith: Yeah, what is Ah, what's that actors same shiya who Bo look I don't know how you say his name. Yeah, he was he was in the fourth one and I don't even know who was in the fifth one? yeah.
[10:01] Mike: Is that right? There was the crystal skull and then there was the furrowed wrinkle or I don't know what the last one was.
[10:09] Keith: Um, it has the girl who did ah the the television show Fleabag have you seen fleabag? Yes, so so she wrote a couple other things before she wrote fleabag and she stars in it as well.
[10:13] Mike: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the british woman that's a pretty good show I don't know have they made any more series of it as they call them in Britain. Okay, yeah.
[10:26] Keith: And they're all like pretty good. Um like she's a good writer and she's a pretty good actress too. Um, but ah, she's mostly been writing since then but she is the the co-star in the newest Indiana Jones I haven't seen it yet even though her name is I think Phoebe Waller's bridge.
[10:40] Mike: I see. Okay, oh that's the one where she becomes the new India they're trying to turn Indiana Jones into a woman right? So it's a trans. It's a trans woman. It's actually a trans person and also they're transitioning their age.
[10:45] Keith: Bridges bridges. Yeah, yeah I think so but.
[10:59] Mike: It's like ah it's like the doctor who where he regenerates really? Okay, okay.
[11:02] Keith: There's some sort of time travel as well. I think I don't know I have no idea I mean how do they pull indie out of the 30 s right? because that's when the oh.
[11:10] Mike: Well, he's super old now. So it'd be like maybe the sixty s seventy s I have no idea doesn't matter so about petra.
[11:16] Keith: Okay, yeah, maybe the new 1 takes place in the 60 s or seventy s I don't know all right should I be appalled when people don't know what Petra is like I I often get asked. Oh where are you and in that picture.
[11:30] Mike: So and the reason this bothers you is from your perspective. It would be like if you posted a picture of yourself in front of the white house the eiffel tower yeah, like some like 1 of the top 10 things in the world and it's just like what's wrong with you.
[11:38] Keith: Yeah, statue of liberty? yeah, right? like I know I know Petra is not like Petra is not in like one of the top 5 tourist attractions. You know, like what? what are the top 5 something like eiffel tower statue of Liberty Fu taj mahal maybe I don't know. But like once you get into the sort of like ah Machu picc you level I think you should also know Petra or or encore what at that temple in ah Cambodia anyway.
[11:57] Mike: It's hard to say.
[12:02] Mike: Okay, so so it's on the level of Machu Pi you okay, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
[12:14] Keith: I Feel like people should know it or at least should be embarrassed that they don't know it so like they shouldn't be signaling in an online dating conversation that they don't know what it is and they are signaling that when they ask where where am I.
[12:26] Mike: Well I think that maybe the maybe the expectations. So a man is not. You're not typically looking for. This is not a thing that you'd be looking for in a woman a woman would not have the expectation that a man is looking for a cultured.
[12:45] Keith: Worldly.
[12:45] Mike: Well-traveled worldly kind of you know, knowledgeable, whatever words you want woman like they know they know that's not the main thing I mean so from a woman's perspective showing interest in you is pretty high value and that's probably what they're doing and they wouldn't perceive it as.
[12:55] Keith: And.
[13:04] Mike: Mattering if they in fact, it could even be viewed as a positive for a woman to not know something because then there's this opportunity for you to you know teach her about the world well or mansplain. Yeah, so I don't I think the woman would not would be I think I mean have you have you had a woman not what it know what it is and then you got frustrated and then what happened.
[13:11] Keith: Man's plane. Yeah.
[13:22] Keith: No I don't tend to mock people who ask me questions in good faith. Although I do sometimes.
[13:23] Mike: Or has that not happened yet.
[13:28] Mike: Okay, so you just tell them but then so silently you're screaming into your keyboard or whatever reaching reaching for the exit bag because you're so unhappy.
[13:35] Keith: Right? Yeah, it's It's more that I yeah I just become less interested. But I think what you just said is interesting and maybe I should stop being so harsh.
[13:50] Mike: I could argue I could argue that if they know what it is that could be more annoying because it's like then well maybe or maybe and I was not where I was going I was just going to like they. It's it's it's something about.
[13:55] Keith: Oh this person's going to try to argue with me about stuff.
[14:12] Mike: Ah, they are there' there's not going to be enough information to share. They're going to already know everything you know or something like that. There may not be have you have you have you had a a thing like have you had a situation like this where a woman had a profile picture that had something in it and you asked what it was and then she either.
[14:15] Keith: I Don't know I have a pretty good repertoire pretty deep.
[14:29] Mike: Was you should have known what it was or she's irritated or anything like that is this a question. You don't ask because you know it's risky.
[14:34] Keith: Yeah I mean if I saw something that I thought I'm supposed to know I would be embarrassed and I would figure it out. In fact, have you ever used Google Lens you can upload a photo and it'll tell you where they what? Whatever they think wherever they think it was taken. Yeah I would.
[14:46] Mike: Um, yeah.
[14:51] Mike: Okay.
[14:54] Keith: Would do that and then even if Google lens couldn't identify it I would have to be pretty sure that I'm not going to embarrass myself by asking and so I'm a little bit surprised when people I think you've just explained it in a way that it now makes sense in my mind. They're not trying to virtue signal like how smart they are which is something that I'm trying to do.
[15:03] Mike: To you? yeah.
[15:14] Keith: When I reach out to people on dating apps. But yeah, a lot of women probably aren't doing that and so the notion that they um might embarrass themselves by asking something obvious doesn't really cross their mind. Also they're probably not thinking about it at all right like when I match with someone I'm really attracted to.
[15:28] Mike: Right.
[15:31] Keith: I I spent a lot of time trying to craft like something clever and witty than signaling the right things but she's probably got 400 matches I'm just saying whatever.
[15:38] Mike: I think that's important do let me ask you this though when you are when you have a set of female pictures on a dating profile and you're in the first say 50 messages or 30 whatever 20 messages. Do you comment on their pictures at all I mean is is that like kind of a taboo because and I can imagine I mean.
[15:51] Keith: Um, yeah.
[15:54] Keith: Sometimes all.
[15:58] Mike: You know, hey ah like commenting on their clothing might be tricky commenting on appearance related stuff I could imagine being going very negatively sometimes.
[16:04] Keith: If I do if I do comment on their appearance. It'll try to be so I'll try to make it something they can control like I'll say oh you have like really good taste in glasses frames. Maybe they have you know sunglasses or different glasses in different pictures or if they have like nice earrings and different pictures I'll be like oh you know you're. Your earring game is is very strong or something along those lines. Um.
[16:26] Mike: But you wouldn't say like hey in photo 3 your headlights are on or something what if they are I mean I bet I bet that's somewhat common right? to have photos. Yeah, some some sort of sexuality in their photos.
[16:35] Keith: But but the high babes are showing. Ah yeah, I'm sure that yeah I'm sure that's a pretty common experience and probably some women if they're really attracted to me would respond Okay to that if I did it in like a not completely gross way. But I've never tried that strategy the sort of like swing swing for the fences strategy.
[16:53] Mike: What if you ask them like which you what if you asked them like which of these photos was taken while you were menstruating. It's like a dwight schrit question that just they just wouldn't like that. Yeah.
[17:01] Keith: That wouldn't go well either, you might get the occasional person that would like think the absurdity is sort of amusing. But.
[17:14] Mike: Right? Yeah yeah, the problem the I think the problem here is that for a guy communicating with a woman on a dating platform. Ah like it's like ah it's like playing a choose your own or doing a choose your own adventure book where like almost any every every page is just you die. It's.
[17:30] Keith: Yeah, yeah, right, right? and I don't get to run the like Monte Carlo simulation where I find the best outcomes like I just have to like try and say clever witty and like the right level of attractive things and but really I'm just.
[17:30] Mike: Right? So it's like there's there's like there's like a thousand possible paths and like 4 of them are good in the rest are death like so it's like right, right? you? yeah. Yes I could encourage I think I've done this I've done this on the podcast before I have a series we're talking over each other go ahead.
[17:49] Keith: Rolling it hundred sideed dice. Yeah sorry I would say really I'm just rolling a hundred sided dice and I need to get like an 98 or higher. It's this random.
[17:57] Mike: Right? Yeah I was going to say that I have a set of ah dating chats that I did long ago at dating chat Logs dot com if people want to read Ah, these were all generally with ah unattractive women though that's important.
[18:04] Keith: Oh yeah.
[18:11] Mike: They're above a certain level of attractiveness. They're not going and also I was running a profile that had a pretty attractive set of pretty attractive set of pictures in them. Ah and it was surprising and this also was like ten years ago so I think women were less knowledgeable about like how quickly you could yeah just how help but how much trolling goes on on the internet or whatever. Um, and so they would they would not bail as quickly but but the but an important aspect is they were not the most attractive women I think it was on ok cupid was the site that I did that on yeah, it's not a heavily trafficked site. Yeah.
[18:37] Keith: Right? I I forgot about dating chat Logs I'm just I'm back. It's yeah I remember some of the highlights here. Yeah, ah it is ah not secure. It's http Mike yeah.
[18:53] Mike: Yeah I don't even I don't even know what that means I do know what that means but I don't actually well it's it's hosted by like Google blogger or something so it's their fault. Yeah, right.
[18:53] Keith: Lock that down. Yeah for long time ago.
[19:02] Keith: Right? Well, it's set up in the stone age. All right, Let's move on to this ah pubic hair Discussion. So This is ah apparently the sex subreddit now has a anatomy Category. So this person wonders how to eat out a girl with a lot of pubic Hair. So I started dating this girl who has a lot of pubic hair presumably untripped. But I do love eating girls out but I realized rather quickly that the hair is a challenge here I feel like it kind of gets everywhere and I also can't see it feeling good for her if I'm constantly dragging a clump of what hair around her vagina. So is there any advice that you people have to make my job a bit easier.
[19:17] Mike: Um.
[19:35] Keith: And don't want her to shave her anything. That's one hundred percent up to her and if she likes it then I'm perfectly fine with it I would just like to find a way to eat her out without making things uncomfortable for her myself. So is there. Any advice is it easier if she's for example, sitting on my face or can I kind of hold her hair back with 1 hand while licking her. Haven't really tried out too many options yet which is why I'm hoping for maybe some tips. Thank you? So ah.
[19:57] Mike: So this is this is not like a this is someone who's just this is someone from the 70 s let's just say it that way. There's no trimming going on here is a full I yeah I mean yeah.
[20:07] Keith: Sounds like it. Yeah yeah I mean you're going to ask this so I can preempt it I mean I almost never run into this. Um I yeah I dated a girl who went to Mills and.
[20:15] Mike: The full the full Bush.
[20:25] Keith: You know she didn't shave her armpits or shaved her legs actually but not her pits or her fell another woman from the East Bay ah
[20:31] Mike: Is this the woman that had no sense of smell. Ok think guy. Ok, Ah, yeah I mean I think that ok what And what happened how did you manage this with this woman did did this come up. Maybe you don't remember specifically.
[20:47] Keith: I Don't remember Yeah I don't I do remember going down on her and being like this is a little bit different a little bit of a challenge I think this guy describes it? Well, it's like yeah the hair gets sort of matted and everywhere and it seems like it could be I mean it. It is a little bit. Discomforting for me and it seems like it could be for her as well.
[21:07] Mike: I Think it's reasonable for a man to take the position that for him to engage in that activity she needs to like shorten the pubes to you know a centimeter or less or something some yeah like some.
[21:21] Keith: Trib. Yeah yeah.
[21:24] Mike: Because then I mean you yeah you could there various options after that point, but there's some length the low which you could and it's It's not a huge sacrifice for the woman to to do that generally to sort of trim and and make it better.
[21:33] Keith: Right? Oh yeah, but some women I mean the type of woman who doesn't trim it all down. There might be particularly offended by that suggestion.
[21:45] Mike: Yeah I mean the problem is that ah that he's just going to be sort of disincentivized to participate in that activity that she may want him to do and that she's going to wind up in the kind of unenviable position of having to complain at him about it which I think most women would not do.
[21:54] Keith: Um, yeah.
[22:01] Keith: Yeah.
[22:02] Mike: Actually have you had a woman complain at you about lack of oral before. Ah no yes from you correct now even even in like a situation where there was less sex than.
[22:06] Keith: From me. No I have not.
[22:20] Mike: Maybe she wanted happening oral would never be the specific axis along which she would register her concerns.
[22:29] Keith: I think I did actually actually I did have a partner who complained that I like wasn't expending enough effort. But ah my thought was that she didn't like it like that that I was sort of wasting my time but then.
[22:44] Mike: Um, okay.
[22:46] Keith: She clarified that no I wasn't and she wanted me to so then I did.
[22:51] Mike: That's interesting. You did you tell her that you thought you were wasting your time.
[22:53] Keith: So when she brought it up I was like oh I just kind of stopped because I thought you weren't really that into it and then you didn't say anything and so um, but I guess when I do that going forward should I like announce that I'm going to stop doing this thing that I think they don't like.
[23:01] Mike: Um, okay.
[23:11] Mike: Probably well maybe not announce it but maybe like the the yeah like some sort of conversation. Although I wonder whether that how well received such a conversation would be you know, like which would she be honest, would it be useful etc like I actually don't know.
[23:12] Keith: Know.
[23:16] Keith: Somehow bring it up quick.
[23:20] Keith: Yeah, yeah, it's tricky right? right? This person would have been and I probably should have been more of a grownup about it in retrospect, but her hair was short to none.
[23:29] Mike: How was her what was hers hair situation.
[23:37] Mike: I See what's the what is the um, let's see I guess ah the the most common situation you would encounter is the most common common sound situation is shaved or waxed.
[23:38] Keith: Yeah, that wasn't the issue.
[23:53] Mike: Which of those is the most common.
[23:54] Keith: Ah, shaved sometimes like if I'm going on vacation with someone though, they'll go get wax but usually people shave I think waxing has some like not so great.
[24:03] Mike: And to have people.
[24:09] Keith: Medium term consequences like I think you can get more ingrown hairs from waxing. Maybe not I don't know I'm I'm wildly speculating here I don't actually know.
[24:17] Mike: My impression is actually the opposite of that that that ah shaving. Yeah I mean obviously waxing costs money unless you do it yourself. That'll be sort of tricky in time so depending on the specific limitation. The person has.
[24:18] Keith: Yeah, that. That's why I started second -guessing myself actually. And time.
[24:34] Mike: Yeah, you're gonna have something different there. Yeah.
[24:35] Keith: Yeah, yeah, Ah, a couple people have some decent suggestions here. So This person says either she or you can spread the lips apart holding the hair back because doing the spread stretches the skin. It can actually make it feel better for her. That's sort of not relevant to the hair situation. But yeah I guess you can like use your hands to sort of spread things apart and then this person adds to add to this. You went to flatten the hair by placing your hands together a little closer to the pubis I don't know what he means by the pubis. Gently spread the lips and lift up a little bit vertically as this typically brings up the cliteral hood and exposes the klidmore. Obviously the anatomy from woman to woman is different and some may feel. Ah, he says overtly, but he means say overly sensitive when it comes to direct clutoral stimulation. But this has always helped me. And getting my partners off so that is good advice regardless of the hair thing. Oh just sort of pulling her lips apart you know, gently and lifting a little bit. It can raise the clitoral hood a bit or just expose the clitoris from the tautness in the skin.
[25:28] Mike: Which part.
[25:40] Mike: So you're saying with with with 2 hands like you you have.
[25:45] Keith: I think this guy's describing with 2 hands but you could use your fingers too. You could use fingers on 1 hand.
[25:50] Mike: I see and so you sort of like turn your hand around so you have your thumb and your Index finger on either side kind of around your face.
[25:58] Keith: Yeah I mean our our listeners can't see this but but I'll show you on the webcam you can sort of go like this and then like you know, pull apart and separate like that with 2 hands or you can come from above with your index finger. And yeah.
[26:08] Mike: Right? If you pull and separate with 2 hands and that means you're having to support your entire head with your neck muscles. So that would get kind of tiring. Potentially.
[26:21] Keith: Yeah,, that's True. It's True. You know it's a it's a mind field out there. Ah, but yeah I mean okay, generally I think if you have a bunch of hair down there. It just does. Probably make it a bit harder to receive maximal pleasure from your male partner.
[26:38] Mike: All these things make me wonder whether it's not better to just tell your partner that you prefer to do it with sort of a blanket over her hips. So She can't really see what you're doing and then after like a few sessions you just shift sorry shift over to getting a. Jar of peanut butter smearing it on there and having the dog. Do. It.
[27:01] Keith: Ah, whater where you were going with that I there was a I do have a bestiality topic ah and much more enthusiastic. Um, your your your your breath seems accelerated all right. Let's move on.
[27:03] Mike: She's like she's like Wow your tongue got really long. Yeah. Yeah, it's.
[27:18] Keith: Ah, this person says my boyfriend didn't want to come on my face. He's 18 I'm 19 this is new to him like I took his virgingeninity a week ago but we've been having sex like every day since he comes a lot like when I have him when I gave him a hand job. He painted my tits which was hot so I suggested he do the same to my face.
[27:28] Mike: Had.
[27:36] Keith: Never actually tried that before because even though I've had sex I've never really been in a relationship and that limits what I was comfortable with feel awkward asking random guys to do anything Lll L but he didn't really seem and very enthusiastic about coming on my face at all when I talked to him about it. He wasn't all bouncing off the walls excited to try like with everything else.
[27:44] Mike: Wow.
[27:55] Keith: Going to I'm a bad ega 18 year old man excited to have be having sex for his first week I'm not going to lie I could tell you he was uncomfortable and kind of ignored his feelings because I wanted to try it until literally he was ready to go. He asked me to close my eyes and I said it's hot to watch you. He said he's heard it hurts a lot if it gets in my eye.
[28:01] Mike: Um, sure.
[28:14] Keith: And I said it'll be fine I'll just wash it out but looking at him. Okay, we're going to get into that but looking at him I've never seen a man look so uncomfortable with his cock at his hands. So I ask if he's really wants to do it and he said only if I want him to which I understand to me know and we did something else.
[28:16] Mike: Um, yeah, that's called the red eye.
[28:32] Keith: Later said it just didn't feel right? but he's willing to try again. Another time. It's definitely just the mental barrier of not having done it before I always usually swallow for my blowjobs. But what if next time I Just take it out when he says he's close show him. It's not that bad. Ah that would be considered sexual assault I believe to like.
[28:48] Mike: Taking his cock out of her mouth and making it spew on her face as sexual assault but on on whom wait.
[28:50] Keith: For yeah I think so I think the I think the definition of sexual assault so this is different from rape but the the definition of essay is something around lack of consent and if you like force force your partner to do something.
[29:05] Mike: Is it can okay I bet you' were going to say that it's a debt the day. Okay.
[29:10] Keith: Ah, without consent I think that's that's by some definition sexual assault.
[29:13] Mike: So you think that the man part of the ok farce. The culture has decided that part of consent is where the man's ejaculate goes. That's interesting.
[29:17] Keith: Um, this isn't what I think this is the way that the culture and language has evolved.
[29:30] Keith: No, but he said or indicated that he doesn't want to come on her face. Ah, he's willing to come down her throat but not on her face and if she forces him to do so that would be the assault part if she tricks him into doing ah.
[29:40] Mike: I Think that for an adult man for an adult man culturally culturally speaking I do not think it is the only way to sexually assault him is something involving his mouth or his anus those the if those body parts are not involved. It is It cannot be assault I think culturally.
[29:47] Keith: Ah.
[29:55] Keith: Low I think in spirit I agree with that? Yeah I'm not sure I agree that culturally.
[30:02] Mike: I just think that's the reality of it like yeah and realistically it has to be penetration of his mouth or his Zeus like those are those those then you could have and a true thing that culture would get worried about um.
[30:09] Keith: I Mean you know we're going through a referendum now in our culture on what constitutes sexual assault and right you're not oblivious to that right.
[30:19] Mike: It's very tricky. Yeah no I read the I read about the Russell Brand for existence this name who's been accused. Yeah and he um it it. There's a curious phenomenon that men who.
[30:23] Keith: Yeah, there is Russell Brand is a prison.
[30:36] Mike: Sort of ah at some point were in the cultural consensus the cultural sort of progressive consensus then switch over and start like becoming like doing what Elon Musk did with x suddenly start getting accused of sexual assault which.
[30:50] Keith: Ah.
[30:53] Mike: But I think so I actually have a thought there which is I think that the why I think the why that happens is that is that most celebrity men have done a lot of Kinky sex stuff with women that arguably is some kind of assault like it's I Just think that if you're a celebrity man these things happen and then it's a question of who gets accused right? it's.
[30:55] Keith: And yes.
[31:13] Mike: It's yeah and and you could say these things shouldn't happen. Okay, but I mean that like like looks celebrity probably shouldn't happen like there's a lot of things messed up about culture. So I think that's probably why that happens and so they they get the people get incensed about some position. The person takes and then they say ah well now I'm going to accuse you of this thing which.
[31:14] Keith: Um, yeah, all right? Yeah I That's a.
[31:29] Keith: That's an interesting take? yeah yeah I didn't think that's the direction you were going to go there I thought you were gonna I don't know something about how Russell Brand is being unfairly accused i.
[31:30] Mike: It's probably a legitimate thing. Um, where did you think I was going to go.
[31:43] Mike: I'm sure it happened I'm I believe the women. Yeah yeah.
[31:44] Keith: Yeah I suspect he did what he's being accused of that. The consent part is the part that we've talked about consent a bit. But yeah, like retroactively withdrawing consent based on somebody's political Views seems a little bit fraught.
[31:58] Mike: Man It's hard to say I mean I Just think that a lot of males like look the high the most valuable commodity in the world is young, attractive females women that is the most valuable thing. Ah.
[32:09] Keith: I I find that highly valuable.
[32:13] Mike: Yeah, there's like a decent comedy routine. The guy has where he you can find where he talks about how oh yeah I know it's it's it's it's not okay, it's it's I think it's a divorce attorney that's talking and he's talking about how like on the one side of the table. You'll have the hedge fund guy that's earned you know $400000000 you know
[32:29] Keith: Yeah, right, right? right.
[32:32] Mike: Matching his wits against all these people and on the other side There's just a hot chick and he's like look and they're equal value. They're equal value like she gets half his stuff like that's how it works. He's willing to sacrifice half his stuff for this hot Chick. So that tells you how much it's worth um and so the point is that when men become celebrities they as long as they're heterosexual. They. To a man wind up kind of doing kinky stuff and with women and like yeah men have a kind of weird sexual appetites. Anyway, this question is about a woman that wants guys spewing on her face which like my view on that would be like a woman who truly wants guys nutting on their face if she made that known publicly enough would just.
[32:57] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[33:10] Mike: She would probably drown right? She wouldn't survive.
[33:10] Keith: Yeah I yeah I wanted to go in this direction I'm going to reveal something here that you probably won't find that surprising. But yeah I don't think I have ever come on. Somebody's face including my own. How could you come I'm.
[33:23] Mike: Um, including your own.
[33:27] Keith: Ah, like yeah I could invert myself I've probably gotten some on my chin if I'm like laying down. Yeah I think yeah so I guess excluding excluding my own excluding my own.
[33:29] Mike: Friendly fire. No I mean sometimes ah like I mean exactly exactly or like yes so a hand job or whatever. Okay, um, you've never done that have you ever wanted to do this.
[33:44] Keith: Yeah, ah I think generally I worry that the woman doesn't actually want that like it's an act of domination. That's just like that they're they're they're saying they want me to do it because they think that I want to do it? Um, so yeah.
[33:59] Mike: Um, some high high neuroticism concerns here.
[34:02] Keith: Yeah, I'm sort of you know, reverse double crosssing myself here because they they might actually want that. But yeah, and then also we've talked about this a bit before but I don't like doing super dominant acts to women that I um care about and respect I. Ah, struggle there a bit mentally I know the bedroom's different place and then out of the bedroom and all that. But yeah for me I'm not super eager to come on the face of somebody that you know I've been dating for months. Um, but apparently I'm unusual here.
[34:36] Mike: Um, do you let me ask you this. Do you respect your furniture like your desk.
[34:44] Keith: Ah I do really like the desk I have but my feelings for it are ah yeah I Do yeah, it's actually um, the color of my desk is sort of Navy colored and if.
[34:48] Mike: Um, because you come on it a lot right? so.
[34:55] Mike: Okay.
[35:00] Keith: I Used to have a task that was another color but this desk particularly shows some states. So yeah I have to be careful to keep it clean.
[35:07] Mike: That's interesting. It shows way wait. What is it made of that it shows cu stains I would not I mean is a fabric of some kind you're going to point down. Okay, this looks like he's pointing the camera at his crotch. It looks like some kind of.
[35:12] Keith: Here Can I can show you this another thing our listeners can't see.
[35:22] Keith: Occluded by the desk. Yeah I think I got it from Ikea so it's cheap, but it's I think it's fiberboard. Yeah, but it's Navy colored. Oh I think if I used to have a wooden desk.
[35:24] Mike: Maybe wood with some kind of like ah something on it like it's just like a covering. Okay, okay, and you and and what does in what way does it show Cum stains.
[35:40] Keith: And it was less and and I think before that maybe at a glass desk and that one also should come stains in sort of in an annoying way maybe desks just show come stains. No, it's not a problem cleaning. It's just about being lazy I have had the following situation.
[35:41] Mike: Um, okay.
[35:47] Mike: I mean glass you can obviously just Windex and take anything off of it right.
[35:59] Keith: Ah arise which is a ah a young lady will be over at my house and I'll notice like it will come spot on the desk and I'm just sort of embarrassed. It hasn't happened people don't assume that like a little bit of white smudge is is come or at least.
[36:17] Keith: Ah.
[36:17] Mike: Yeah I recall you had you I helped you at some point a few like couple months a few months ago with ah you had you weren't sure how to cover because you had you had vagina fluid stains on both sides of like your comforter in your bed or something and we came up I think you you turned it inside out which was good move. Yeah, there's actually 4
[36:27] Keith: Yeah, yeah, thank you? Yeah I was pretty sure well the issue we discussed at the time she might notice that it's inside out and wonder but then we both decided. Yeah, but her like.
[36:36] Mike: Sides to a comforter cover.
[36:46] Keith: Default a subshit won't be that like oh it's inside out because he's covering Vagina stas like it's.
[36:49] Mike: The best would be if she'd if she'd figured that out flip seen it and then flipped it over and then there was another one. She'd be like oh my God But of course you can't really know that they're from different women I think they were from different women though right in this particular case they might have been. Yeah, it could be or maybe you just didn't wash your.
[36:59] Keith: In that case, they were yeah as a fairly degenerate phase of mine.
[37:11] Mike: Ah, bedlothes for a while. Let's just say that maybe maybe it was you were out of town. You were alone. No, you were anyway. Okay, so you have never nutted on a woman's face. You've never wanted to I mean I think that generally men are supposed to.
[37:12] Keith: Maybe who's to say.
[37:27] Mike: When they're in the early phases of dating a woman kind of do a bunch of dirty things to the woman they're they're supposed to want to Mark their territory somehow and I think a lot of times that leads to this sort of facial type behavior. So it's like before you've really built up respect and rapport with the person. You're just kind of wanting to and you don't experience that.
[37:37] Keith: I Guess yeah yeah I guess I was sort of yeah I guess I was sort of going there when I said yeah with my long term partners I Really don't want to I guess I felt the compulsion to I mean. Okay.
[37:45] Mike: Like you you sort of.
[37:55] Keith: For sure like when I'm watching porn. It is a little bit. Ah interesting to watch the man finish on the girl's face like it really is dominant in a way that's kind of cool and so you know like I can project that unto myself and like imagine enjoying that when I'm when I'm orgasming with a real life woman in my life. But.
[38:01] Mike: Yeah.
[38:14] Keith: I think that you know so 1 thing is after I've known them for a while it feels like it's sort of disrespectful and then early on I'm worried that they don't actually want that and they're just saying they do and so I haven't been able to get over either of those homes.
[38:26] Mike: Okay, yeah when I see it in porn I actually actively dislike it but I but so so I never really enjoy it. But I think that's because it's similar to what you said I think it's because I'm able to develop so quickly when watching porn sometimes in under 10 seconds a level of respect for the woman. That it already bothers me when he nuts on her face I think oh what what are you doing to this? Yeah lovely woman that I just clicked on. Yeah.
[38:48] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, just right right? Ah yeah, we've discussed poor I don't really like come shots in porn Generally I'm surprised by.
[39:00] Mike: I would rather I would rather the guy if he's going to do a facial. Do it sort of on her lips or something so that it winds up in her mouth I don't like I don't like it when the porn just ends with her so with stuff all over her face because then it's it's it's I feel like it's kind of a cliffhanger I guess I know what's going to happen.
[39:18] Keith: Yeah, they're gonna yeah.
[39:20] Mike: But I but I don't see it and and and then and there are these things I've heard about from various subreddits and so forth. Apparently it's common for couples to keep like a rag by their bed that's used to clean up come and I get the impression that they use it multiple times without cleaning it between and that really bothers me like the notion.
[39:36] Keith: Ah.
[39:38] Mike: She's going to wipe it off her face with like something that's kind of crusty and has like 7 other semen loads on it that really bums me out and it's not a question of respect there. It's just a question of like raw like sort of tidiness like just I don't want to I don't want to be wiping my face with something and the and like hit a and and the thing I'm wiping it with has like an edge has like a.
[39:39] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[39:48] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[39:57] Keith: Um, yeah.
[39:57] Mike: Corner you know like ah it's rigid like that's not great. So.
[40:00] Keith: How would you feel if you knew your partner wasn't even cleaning the sheets in between.
[40:07] Mike: In between what oh the thing you did I don't know how that would be for a female. Let's see it for a guy I would make it would bum me out if I thought there was like 5 different guys semen on the sheets I mean this is one of the reasons why I don't ah understand guys that go to escorts.
[40:08] Keith: Yeah, now they don't out for a guy. It's awful for sure. Yeah.
[40:25] Mike: Hard to understand because it's not that there's just a lot of semen flying around. So.
[40:28] Keith: Yeah, yeah, okay, we're on the same page there. Okay, there was 1 more thing I wanted to litigate about the facials which is somebody says here I just want to say that I can confirm it burns like pepper spray if it gets in your eyes is that.
[40:35] Mike: Facials.
[40:43] Mike: Okay.
[40:46] Keith: True Another person says the pink eye thing is true I remember once it happened to me and my mom kept wanting to take me to the doctor I told her it was just allergies or something. Um.
[40:55] Mike: This is a thing that could be tested I Actually think that right I mean you could obviously test this I Really don't want to? yes yes you could take I I actually have um I have a tasted I think.
[40:57] Keith: Yeah, of course on myself. Yeah yeah, would you rather taste it or rub it in your eye. Oh my God I think I would rather rub it in my eye I Really don't want to taste my own seamen sort of a bay.
[41:11] Mike: Um, it's going to go into your nose and into your mouth if you put in your eye. Ah yes, that's what happens the things you put in your eye. They go into your nose. Yeah I do have um.
[41:16] Keith: Badge of honor at this point. No, it's not features like oh you mean that the a mucuous membrane like transfers. Okay, so one you're doing both and the other you're just doing one. So.
[41:29] Mike: I do have 2 2 loppered rabbits here at the house and I know that a lot of animal testing is done on rabbits. So I could potentially ejaculate in one of their eyes to test we have two rabbits. Yeah.
[41:33] Keith: Um, what? why do you have? Why did I didn't know you had rabbits. Um, yeah I'm not sure you know it's a little bit like Rat and Monkey testing like sometimes the the lessons learned from testing on those mammals. Ah.
[41:49] Mike: It's true and they are female. Rabbits is there some risk that if I did that they could I could produce some sort of human rabbit hybrid that seems not worth it. That's actually a joke I've had a a sectomy so that can't happen. Yeah.
[41:51] Keith: Continue.
[41:55] Keith: It is a risk. Yeah, you should be careful actually with that. Yeah. Oh Good point. Yeah,, that's why it can't happen all right, Let's move on oh wait but is it true that if it gets in your eye like you get this like really awful reaction. Do you know? Okay, so it is the thing is it sting like Pep like pepper spray.
[42:14] Mike: That's why it's called the red eye. Yeah I've done I've done that I've done that to somebody I Yeah I don't I mean I I don't I've never done it to myself. So I don't know but well maybe it's not maladaptive I mean you don't want it in your eye. It's what's go in the vagina right? So like.
[42:22] Keith: That seems maladaptive. Yeah.
[42:32] Mike: Anything that makes it kind of not great for it to touch other mucus membranes actually seems kind of adaptive to me I did ah long ago I've discussed this on the podcast before I had this woman that I worked with that a few different times gave me would come over to my desk and give me blowjobs under my desk.
[42:35] Keith: Yeah.
[42:49] Keith: Yes, yeah.
[42:50] Mike: And 1 of the times. Ah I think I was standing up and I nutted in her and it went in her eye and that was embarrassing because then she had red eyes for the rest of the time that day.
[43:00] Keith: That's like the ah something about Mary scene right? where she gets it in her hair.
[43:04] Mike: Yeah, well, that's yeah, okay, that's not very realistic because the semen in that case so Semen does not stay. Gelatin is like that it turns in to a pretty fluid after a little while and and they they really got that wrong. It actually I didn't There are a few reasons I don't like that movie.
[43:13] Keith: Right? right? I know and but the absurdity of them getting it wrong I I kind of like the absurdity of it being like here Joe like this is unrealistic. Okay, right.
[43:24] Mike: I didn't like it because I like that stuff I like people to be ah correct. But yeah, it's too unreal I took me out of it I couldn't suspend disbelief when I saw that semen to stay like that. Yeah didn't work for me.
[43:33] Keith: Right? all right. fair enough um all right the next topic I'd lined up sort of overlaps with the conversation we had earlier but maybe we can make it different all right. This person says this is a 22 year old female and she has a 23 year old boyfriend I feel like I literally can't fuck him enough I'm so incredibly in love with my boyfriend. We've been dating.
[43:50] Mike: Yeah.
[43:52] Keith: For a little less than a month and we are head over heels about each other yet yet I have somewhat of a weird issue I've been researching online and through other subreddits but I can't find any similar questions. This is not my first relationship at all. But I've never experienced this with anyone before. Okay, so in her mind I'm pausing here for effect. She has this like. Really bizarre thing that she can't find anywhere on the internet anyone else who has had this experience when I have sex with my boyfriend I literally feel like we are not having sex enough I don't know how to explain it I'm attracted to him I always work as him more than once and it's very pleasurable overall. But even while doing it I always feel like.
[44:17] Mike: Um, right.
[44:28] Keith: There's this itch I can't scratch like a desire I can't completely satisfy and I truly don't know what to do about it. It happens the same to me when we kiss indeed and even sometimes when I tell him I love him. It just doesn't feel enough like just saying I Love him doesn't really communicate what I am trying to express.
[44:34] Mike: She's not or she's not orcassming.
[44:46] Keith: And it is starting to make me feel uncomfortable if you ever had this feeling and if so what did you do about it. Tldr I feel like I can't completely direct all the desire I feel toward my boyfriend and it feels uncomfortable. So yeah, there's 2 things here that like she's confused about I think she's not orgasming and also.
[45:02] Mike: It's you never know. But I mean she she always has more than one. That's a little suspicious and then like this there's this itch I haven't scratched. It's like well I can I can think of 1 thing that could be but go on. Yeah right.
[45:04] Keith: Yeah, right, right? right? Feels completely unsatisfied. Yeah I think Also this experience of like just always wanting to fuck her boyfriend and always being thinking about sex like that is the male experience like. Outside of when men are refracting this notion of like constantly being obsessed with thinking about sex is yeah a good summation of the male experience.
[45:30] Mike: Yeah I mean there's some other I took the way she was characterizing it to be like there's some emotional thing. There's some emotional lock that his key doesn't turn. Um.
[45:38] Keith: Yeah, maybe she didn't say that oh but that might be what she means. But that's not what she says.
[45:44] Mike: Yeah I know that would be like my pop psych. It's so yeah, it could be the orgasm thing. It could also be just like she does she she doesn't actually like him that much so she's like overcompensating for something. There's some nonsense going on here. Um, maybe she just really needs like anal or something like maybe there's some.
[45:50] Keith: Yeah, right right.
[46:02] Mike: Sex act that she hasn't discovered yet. She has a fetish an undiscovered fetish that like needs to be found that he can sort of like you know accomplish for maybe that's what it's like to have like a fetish I mean you know it's it's it's got to be possible in sure.
[46:16] Keith: Huh.
[46:20] Mike: Is the case that people have fetishes. They just don't know about and if you haven't tried everything I mean you know if if a guy was saying this may I would say maybe he needs to be pegged. That's the it's the missing link. It's one of those sort of ribbed dildos.
[46:30] Keith: Yeah I don't think a man would say something like this like oh I'm having multiple orgasms with my partner and I feel unsatisfied like I think I would feel exhausted but not unsatisfied.
[46:36] Mike: Well, that's true.
[46:42] Mike: Right? Yeah because the because for a guy like the the the nut is pretty pretty definitive right.
[46:49] Keith: Um, it's a release. It's a really satisfying Awesome release. Um, yeah, anyway, all right.
[46:56] Mike: I mean I don't know it could just be. It could just be a version of like a normal relationship thing for a woman where she just she's just obsessed with him and wants to be around him all the time you know which is common. You've been done the you've been on the ah the the receiving end of that many times right.
[47:02] Keith: Yeah, it could be yeah you you hear about that.
[47:10] Keith: Of course naturally.
[47:12] Mike: And then you and the the the best feeling in the world. You've told me is when someone is obsessed with you and you ghost them which is such a great feeling. Yeah and you've.
[47:17] Keith: I would know. Yeah, that's yeah I'm pretty good about not ghosting.
[47:28] Mike: You find? ah you find a like outside your window. There's a drone hovering there watching you and stuff you get stalked must be I mean that really you can't and if someone's obsessed with you. You shouldn't ghost them because of that.
[47:34] Keith: Um, yeah I think women I yeah I think women need to be take some care in the way that they like reject somebody. They've seen a few times and like knows where they live because men can just go insane and can present more physical danger than than women can.
[47:44] Mike: Right? It's it's says there's sort of a yeah, it makes me think there's like a double meaning to ghost I mean obviously the the the the normal meaning of ghost is just like you become a ghost you disappear from the relationship but there's this other idea of like I'm sure you've seen like comedy sketches or whatever where. Somebody says that's the way you create a ghost like you know you if somebody dies in a particular the ironic way or something like that. Well it's like this if if the relationship dies in a certain way. She's going to be like a a ghost in your life chasing you around because you can't get rid of her like it's like ah you're going to be haunted by her. Yeah, so you have to sort of like let her down.
[48:06] Keith: Writes.
[48:20] Mike: More easily than that. Probably.
[48:22] Keith: Yeah there's a you have to sort of make a evaluation about how somebody is when you're deciding how to end things I think sometimes ghosting can be the proper thing especially for women because if a woman you know. Writes to a man. Let's say they've been on two dates they had sex the second time and you know he really likes her but she's just not that into it if she says like hey you know I'm just not whatever like he's almost certainly going to like start interrogating her and demanding answers and and then a lot of people are going to be kind of crazy. So like.
[48:54] Mike: Right.
[48:58] Keith: She could send him something or she can just ghost him and like yeah ghosting isn't very considerate. But the downside risk for her is massively mitigated by ghosting and so yeah.
[49:08] Mike: Right? I think I think most I think that I've done that before where like ah on the receiving side of a breakup actually I'm sure I've done it. We're like yeah like I didn't yeah basically I caused a person to not ghost but like to sort of have to cut off contact much more because. Because I was like yeah and and the rationale was just I wanted sex. It was just that it was like well you know if there's a 1 % chance I mean the thing. Yeah, the thing is if it as a man. Ah let's see your odds of having sex with any random woman are like.
[49:27] Keith: Right? Exactly like the man is warned up right.
[49:41] Mike: 0 point with a bunch of Zeros and 1 or something per day or something. They're really low, but any woman you've ever had sex with before they're much higher. They're probably at least point 1% per day like if you try and so for a man like any woman you've had sex with before is always going to be someone that you're going to try harder or yeah.
[49:45] Keith: Right? Yeah, yeah, yes.
[49:59] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, we're coming into ah the holiday season in here and yeah, there's like a a meme online about women getting texts for a bunch of Xes on like Thanksgiving or Christmas saying like hey, what's up. It's like yeah, let's see what's going on here.
[50:00] Mike: And so this is a problem women have.
[50:16] Keith: Let's move on so this post was deleted by the user and the user deleted their account but not before I copied the subject. My boyfriend keeps asking about my fantasies or what I watch in porn. But I like incest porn should I tell him? um.
[50:17] Mike: Um, yes.
[50:35] Mike: It's all fake incest porn of course but go on. Yeah.
[50:37] Keith: I'm going to go yeah with probably not here now. Um, let's say you had to write a 1 act play about somebody who really likes incest porn but doesn't a woman who really likes incest porn but doesn't have any problems what how can you.
[50:45] Mike: A woman who likes incest porn.
[50:54] Keith: Can you can you do so.
[50:54] Mike: Well incest porn is usually well let's say I guess there's 2 forms it takes it's brother sister or stepmother but it's usually stepmother right? It's not usually brother sister. Oh that's a good point.
[51:05] Keith: There's there's step dad stepdaughter too.
[51:11] Mike: Okay, you're right? and actually maybe that's the more common one because the guy' is going to fetishize wanting to have sex with his with the woman much younger than a girl much younger than him. Ok so but for a woman the fetish I'm thinking is going to be the Brothers sister one. So it's either she wants a guy older than her or it's.
[51:15] Keith: Right? right.
[51:29] Mike: Brother's sister in which case is just kind of so the 1 act to play where there's nothing wrong with her the 1 act play with it where there's something wrong, nothing wrong with her is that she wants to be a detective who's investigating sex crimes she she wants to be like that the marisca hargey on us for you and.
[51:30] Keith: She wants something taboo. Yeah.
[51:44] Keith: Yeah, sv Yeah yeah.
[51:49] Mike: Ah, and it turns her on to investigate crimes and the crime that she likes to investigate is sibling incest and she just yeah, she wants to be a detective and and so she likes to sort of like have that porn running in the background when she masturbates because it makes her think of her detective.
[52:04] Keith: I say yeah.
[52:08] Mike: It's pretty hard to come up with a 1 act play that does not end with the woman having having sex with someone that she shouldn't be yeah.
[52:14] Keith: Right? So it's a little bit hard to answer the question should she tell her boyfriend but I'm going to lean on hard. No, there's just no, but.
[52:25] Mike: Um, ah wait a minute I mean the boyfriend might want to know that there's something wrong with her right? I mean she's concealing a kind of right.
[52:28] Keith: Well in that case, he he should probably want her to tell him but it could she doesn't have much upside by telling him I mean what if he's also really into incest porn. That's not good, but.
[52:38] Mike: Yeah, I'm let me say this I have I have something else to say about this I don't think that women's porn preferences reveal as much about them as men's porn preferences would right? women are not going to generally be into porn as much. So maybe she just likes incest porn because there's more of a story or something. She's like yeah.
[52:56] Keith: Yeah, that's the direction that was the direction I was going to go like a lot of the porn on the like standard tube sites is incest porn and so.
[52:58] Mike: I Just like how there's some conflict you know there's there's there's a plot. Yeah.
[53:12] Keith: You might just be like look I prefer this to some of the other porn like the the massage porn or the doctor patient porn I Just like prefer the the execution of of incest porn movies over other things.
[53:22] Mike: What's what's wrong with just like normal of 2 people who want to fuck each other porn. Why does it have to be doctor patient massage massage all way yet. It's like he. Yeah yeah, go ahead.
[53:32] Keith: Um, I think the director I think the directors of these sites are just sort of of these porns are just sort of uninspired and then also yeah I don't think there's a whole lot of value in trying to make a porn with interesting creative Direction. So They just do stuff that they know there's an appetite for and there isn't much exploration to see if you could do other plotlines.
[53:54] Mike: Um, right? Okay, but I'm just saying like you can have porn. That's just normal people having I mean there is porn normal people having sex I Guess it's It's just boring so you don't talk about it as much but like these other yeah, it's surprising to me that there's a market for doctor patient Porn I don't know.
[54:11] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, there's a there's a series called why do you? Why do you? Why do you try to eject Larry Nassar into like every third of our podcasts.
[54:12] Mike: Not particularly interesting unless you're talking about like Net Larry Nassar Yeah, here's like yeah, that's true. That's true.
[54:26] Mike: Ah, people hate Larry Nasser
[54:27] Keith: Abuse you of that get him to disabuse the people he abused. Um I don't even remember what I was going to say let's move on. Um, let's see here. Ah, okay, yeah, this is a good one to finish up because it's just preposterous.
[54:38] Mike: Um, yeah.
[54:47] Keith: Ah, this person says wife wants to participate in women's body's Positivity circle that includes self-pleasure around other women from my point of view this amounts to interacting with other women in a sexual setting. Everyone feeling charged from the sexual energy in the room and everyone getting off the sounds and sexual energy of the room.
[55:02] Mike: Are.
[55:03] Keith: She Claims. It's a solo journey about accepting your own body Anyway I think this is like a gauging good sexual activity with others. She claims. Not bad at All. What do you? all? think so this is a classic example of one of those things where um, you need to reverse the genders. It' see. If your perspective changes. So yeah,, let's say that ah I came home to buy to buy hypothetical girlfriend. It said? Yeah I Want to go to a circle jerk like I think she would she would justifiably be a little concerned. Yes.
[55:26] Mike: Um, Circle jerk.
[55:36] Mike: Do you think? So what would her concern be would be be that you're gay what if she knew you weren't gay.
[55:42] Keith: That would be a possible concern that eggs might lead. Ah.
[55:49] Mike: What if she was confident. You were not gay that was not a concern to her at all for various reasons she just? yeah.
[55:52] Keith: Write me a 1 act play about a man who wants to go to a circle jerk who is it gay curious Mike be careful what you're about to say here but please go on.
[56:00] Mike: If I knew let me think about this if I knew what if I knew there was no way that I would have to participate like ok if I could if there was a way. Okay.
[56:14] Keith: Ah, yes, what do you mean by participate.
[56:19] Mike: If there was a way like yeah okay, ah where I would have to like beat off with them or like in any way like I don't want them to look at me I basically want to be like a camera I want to be like in a okay.
[56:30] Keith: Yes, this is solo masturbating which is preferable to going to a circle jerk.
[56:36] Mike: If I I want to be basically inside of like an r two d 2 costume that only I have the key to get out of and it's like made of titanium. They can't get into it and I just sort of roll around like there's a lot of situations I would be willing to as an in r two d two ah costume roll around and just to see just to see with my own eyes things that go on now.
[56:52] Keith: Yes.
[56:53] Mike: I don't think I would enjoy a circle jerk just like I don't I've never been to one of these um power exchange type clubs in San Francisco I could go because I know I I know I don't want to watch gay men have sex with each other I know that but you know yeah yeah.
[56:58] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm I'm conceptually interested in knowing how it makes me feel like I went to a bullfight once and I wanted to know how it made made me feel and it was actually pretty affecting like I think there were 5 fights and I left like halfway through the second one I just.
[57:15] Mike: What bothered you about it.
[57:17] Keith: Really? ah the violence of it and the sort of crowd cheering it on and the.
[57:25] Mike: I Think it would be annoying that they kill the cow but don't even make hamburgers out of it afterward seems like a waste right right? This is the problem.
[57:32] Keith: I'm not sure what they do with it. Also I don't think Bull meat is bull meat as tasty as Cow meat.
[57:37] Mike: I mean I'm sure you could at least make like dog food out of it or something you know they probably do recycle I mean look these animals are going to be killed eventually Anyway, like so you know all right? I Actually don't know exactly what happens in a bullfight. Do they kill it in like a grizzly way like do they is it.
[57:41] Keith: Maybe they do.
[57:48] Keith: Yeah, it's I mean yeah I'm just deciding whether okay well yeah, trigger warning I'm going to talk about bullfighting now. Ah yeah, you um first.
[57:55] Mike: Not very nice.
[58:05] Keith: The bull comes out and there's like 3 men on horses I think and they have Spears that they try and barb it with to to weaken it and then there's some other weakening exercise I don't remember where it is but it's it's at this point it's it's substantially weakened and then the actual main matador comes out and he.
[58:06] Mike: Okay.
[58:21] Mike: Um, so weakened means it's lost a bunch of blood I. Okay.
[58:24] Keith: Yes, and might actually be physically diminished by the wounds. It's had but I'm not sure about that part and then the Madtador has a sword and a cape and he ah you know tries to tire it out even further and while the bull is doing its passes. He's meant to stick his sword.
[58:28] Mike: I see Yeah ok.
[58:44] Keith: Ah, in the back of its neck and if he gets it in the right place it I guess severs the the spinal cord and it dies immediately. But the the one that I saw to completion he missed and there was actually some booing about that. That's bad because it's quite cruel and then.
[58:53] Mike: And go.
[59:01] Keith: They let him try again and he like missed again. Um, so that the bubble bowl like went down to its knees and it was kind of sad and then some guy came out and like basically executed it. Um, ah he had no he.
[59:13] Mike: With what how did he execute it like ah a mace.
[59:19] Keith: He got it in the neck. Maybe the Matador eventually got it I don't I don't remember exactly I don't remember that my recollection is somebody came out to to do do do the needful but I don't know how he would have been better than the madtador at doing that side I Just don't remember.
[59:19] Mike: A sword. Okay.
[59:32] Mike: So the problem with doing that is that is that it's ah it's some. Ah yeah, encouraging animal suffering is not very far from encouraging human suffering. So like people seeing that can get bad ideas in terms of what they do And so yeah, of course, it's much better to kill animals.
[59:41] Keith: Yeah, well and I was I was intellectually interested in seeing it because I wanted to know how it would make me feel you know like I'm not a vegetarian and I eat meat. But.
[59:48] Mike: Quickly.
[59:53] Mike: Um, yeah.
[59:55] Keith: You know my experience of eating meat is mostly abstracted. It comes to me cooked or even if you get it in the store. It's like shrinkrepped you don't see the corpse like you do at butchers and ah and markets in other countries. Anyway, this is all long windded wave saying I could imagine wanting to see a circle jerk. Ah, but yeah participate.
[01:00:03] Mike: Are.
[01:00:12] Mike: There you go? Okay, do you now back to this woman's back to this woman's situation if you could watch if you could watch one of these female circle jokes would you and you were in an R Two D costume would you watch that I think it would be unenjoyable.
[01:00:14] Keith: Is it different participating as a bridge bridge weight of more. Yeah. Oh yeah, yes, yeah, probably probably probably it be too mechanical.
[01:00:31] Mike: I look I would I would watch it but I So yeah, it would be it would just be. It would be like not very sexual and it would just be yeah and they wouldn't They're yeah they're not like there's something like it matters like.
[01:00:41] Keith: I Think yeah.
[01:00:47] Mike: 1 of the issues I have with like solo female camgirls like the benefit is like they can be a lot of times the solo female cam girlss are much more attractive than the ones that are with a guy which makes sense because they don't really want to be a porn star or whatever. Um, and they're younger a lot of times the solo ones. It's lower barrierd entry. Um, but. The lack of like just a woman cavorting can be less compelling than a woman showing desire for a man like that that that second thing is kind of important and it's what like? ah ah, kind of yeah makes it more of a sexual situation now. If I could go to a woman's circle jerk and like they're all masturbating like looking at me so that they're like sexually aroused by me that would be kind of cool but that's not yeah, that's not a thing right? This guy. Yeah, this guy could this guy could say to his partner like hey I want to go to I want to participate.
[01:01:30] Keith: Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a big gap there. That's not what would happen. Yeah.
[01:01:44] Mike: This is the thing He's got the wrong idea. It's not so so this is the thing. It's not going to be like a circle jerk. Actually I know you're gender reversing it I don't agree with that. It's not like a circle jerk. It's just some like sad women. It's not he should just let her do it. It's not. It's not sexual. It's just going to be kind of lame.
[01:01:51] Keith: Um, ah.
[01:01:58] Keith: I mean are they learning anything is this a class I mean if it's.
[01:02:04] Mike: It's just yeah I mean it's gonna be kind of I don't know like I bet a lot of the women are gonna fake their orcasms because they won't be comfortable. It'll be hard for them to settle in and they'll feel some pressure and right so.
[01:02:12] Keith: Good. Yeah, maybe right right? Well then they're supposed. They're supposed to have had this like shared experience. Yeah, all right? We we're over time here I'm going to wrap this up. You have that anything else you want to add on the not female Circle derk.
[01:02:23] Mike: Yeah.
[01:02:28] Mike: I mean and I would be ah willing to sort of stand in the middle and spin circles and like give them all facials while they do it or something if that's needed. That's that's all I have to say? Yeah yeah.
[01:02:34] Keith: That's ah so so magnanimous Mike so that'll do it for this episode of your mileage may very we like getting feedback, especially negative feedback since we can yeah, that's.
[01:02:45] Mike: Um, and we like coherent feedback when we get emails so try to try to actually make sense.
[01:02:51] Keith: That seems to be ah, a bar a bit too high for for some of our listeners. But ah, we'll never make fun of you to your face so you can at least know that also if you want to ask us questions you can do that I haven't said the email address. It's a y m mv pod at Gmail.com if you give us feedback. We pay $10 for any feedback received so just let us know how you'd like. Be paid paypal or venmo or whatever. Ah, thanks for listening and we will catch you next time on your mileage may vary.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 144: Hairy Situations, Knowledge Gaps, Animal Spirits, Facial Demands, Animals

Episode Transcript