YMMV - Your Mileage May Vary Podcast

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Episode 156: Porn Preferences, Thrusting, Masturbation Details, Cowgirl Flaccidity, Date Vetting

Team YMMV | 2-16-2024 | 1:02:39

Read The Transcript

In spite of the vigorous efforts of men to post detailed feedback on porn and sex toys, few take this part of men's lives seriously. It's a shame, because for most men it's an important enough part of their lives that one wonders whether someone can really know a man without understanding his porn preferences.

This episode, Mike wanted to discuss a couple of porn tropes that he doesn't enjoy and wishes would change. Namely, men insisting that women have orgasms on cue (triggering fakery) and either party being too effusive in praising the other, especially when nearing climax.

Keith wants to discuss ways in which women could better vet potential partners on dating apps, something that is sorely lacking given the sheer amount of choice available to them (assuming they're attractive enough).

And, how do the mechanics of pelvic thrusting differ between men and women? Does this impact the experience in, say, the cowgirl position?

To follow along with the video discussed at the beginning of the episode:

https://ymmv.me/156/cumforme

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/156/dating

https://ymmv.me/156/thrusting

https://ymmv.me/156/cowgirl

https://ymmv.me/156/masturbation

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial but mostly in good faith on today's show we're going to talk about so-called date me websites the male impetus to thrust masturbation cleanup cowgirl orgasms and more I'm Keith. My cohost is Mike and Mike I've been meaning to bring up a a sort of dating strategy topic with you for a while and now seems like a good time. So I've been seeing on profiles for a long time. This thing where women will say. Ah, in-person is greater than texting or not looking for a pen pal and I've always wondered why they're saying that and I think what's going on there is yeah. So men sort of indiscriminately swipe because getting a match is really unusual and they don't have a whole lot of time to consider each person they're looking at and so I think men often match with women that.
[01:09] Mike: Yep.
[01:15] Keith: They would ah ah in five hundred milliseconds say yes to but in five thousand milliseconds so we're now at 5 seconds would say no to so they match and then they see their profile and they're like oh I didn't notice that you know I don't know well that happens to me more than I would like.
[01:30] Mike: They're transgender you mean? yeah.
[01:34] Keith: Or they're overweight or they have some sort of disfigurement um or or whatever it may be um and so what? what? what's happening to some of these women is they are having the experience where they match with men and then they have.
[01:38] Mike: Got it.
[01:52] Keith: You know a short conversation with them or a conversation that sort of goes nowhere and they're sort of confused they're like why is this person texting me so much but not asking me out and what's going on is yeah, they just sort of feel badly, but they don't want to unmatch with them or whatever I think that's what's going on there.
[02:11] Mike: I Think yeah yeah, that's an interesting theory that my my guess was more a guy who ah is basically just trying to beat off while chatting I mean I know so I'm just making an analogy my mind between this and.
[02:25] Keith: Um, oh yeah.
[02:27] Mike: Cam girls who complain about the so-called Grays which is guys that have not put any money in their tokens in their account and so they just sit there and watch and like they always want the cam girl to chat with them and they like you know well they they don't want to because they don't get any money out of it but then they but then they wonder out loud on Reddit why are these guys doing that and then the answer is typically well.
[02:31] Keith: Yeah.
[02:46] Mike: Because they just want any attention and so I just imagine it's a guy who's unattractive and or old or something.
[02:50] Keith: Yeah, you hear about this on seeking where you know a seemingly eligible ah sugar Daddy will chat incessantly and then.
[03:04] Keith: Maybe even arrange to meet up but then they they flake at the end and that's because the pictures they were using probably aren't even them. They never had any intention of meeting. They just wanted to talk to a pretty girl and I think that even happens on Tinder and bumble and hinge like people will will create profiles with fake photos and a fake backstory and fake profile and then.
[03:12] Mike: Right? right.
[03:24] Keith: Chat with women and then just give them the fate because they yeah they can't meet in person because they're actually a 58 year old who lives in their mom's basement.
[03:27] Mike: Um, yeah.
[03:32] Mike: Yeah, we were talking last week and about men who comment on porn like re leave comments on porns on porn hub and like who would do that. Ah, this week I had and a negative experience where I live in the.
[03:39] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[03:47] Mike: Part of the Bay area where this happens a lot where somebody broke the window to my car and took my phone now. Interestingly ah I I went for a run and I had it like sort of stashed in the car and they managed to find it. Um there you have it? Yeah um, but it wasn't visible. But anyway they ah.
[03:50] Keith: Oh brutal. Why was your phone in the car. Yeah should have known better. But yeah, yeah, sure.
[04:05] Mike: They I actually got it back I don't understand why but like these people got nothing everything they got you know because all the devices now have these locators and you can find them and I actually managed to do the scavenger hunt it. It wastes a lot of my time the phone like.
[04:06] Keith: What.
[04:14] Keith: How.
[04:19] Mike: It was my phone This isn't that interesting but I had a few different things. My wallet actually has a locator in it too and I found that? Yeah no I Just found the stuff they just thrown it out of the car window or something I don't know why I it completely.
[04:22] Keith: Yeah I don't care about any of that. So you you you use the locator and you found the criminal. Why would they not resell the phone or keep the wallet or maybe they took the credit cards out of it.
[04:37] Mike: Completely beats me. They took their credit cards but I just canceled them and they didn't charge anything and even if they did I wouldn't have to pay. Although maybe they'd get the money but they didn't actually as far as I know so.
[04:43] Keith: Is there not a market where you can or like a fence where you can sell cell phones.
[04:51] Mike: I believe there is and in fact I was told by a friend that they had his phone stolen and it came online very briefly in China somewhere and then disappeared forever and so like I think that? yeah so I I actually I've sort of shame on them. But anyway here's this is a more interesting story for the podcast. Ah.
[04:58] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[05:07] Mike: As I was dealing with this before I started the scavenger hunt before my devices started phoning home I was on Amazon like okay god I'm have to replace all my stuff fine and so as you do I was like ah maybe I should buy 1 of these machines that beats me off just to make my day better. So I started researching these beat off machines and.
[05:27] Mike: There are just like the guys who comment on porn. There are these people who write incredibly detailed feedback and reviews on these beat off machines right? and like the machines are kind of I mean not just a flashlight. These are things that appear to have some motor in them and they mechanically beat you off with a flashlight right? and you know like on the order of $50
[05:33] Keith: I'll know.
[05:46] Mike: But if you look for like the one two and 3 3 stars reviews particularly like a 3 star review right? This is a guy who's like has a lot of experience. He's thinking he's able he's able to speak very intelligently why why? this is sort of um ah the the kids would say a mid. It's mid. Um, so ah.
[05:55] Keith: Ah, yeah, yeah.
[06:04] Mike: Yeah, yeah in the in the reviews and I was reading them and I was thinking like yeah I was the I think it's the same guy. It's the same kind of guy is you? You're dealing with a guy who he's not going to get any sex with a woman. He's he's he's fat or something wrong with him. He's I don't know he lives in his parents basement. Whatever there's a lot of people like that.
[06:13] Keith: No.
[06:21] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[06:23] Mike: And yeah, and so he's just he in yeah and of course the reviews are things like oh you know I I only had it for two weeks and I was in a broke and you're like man like he probably used it for two weeks straight um so I imagine I imagine it's sort of the same thing. It's like.
[06:33] Keith: Christ. Yeah, the motor the motor got burnt out.
[06:42] Mike: You're just seeing little I mean sort of you're in some ways you're seeing like the glimmers of ah glimmers the wrong word but of a crisis here like you have Maybe it's always been like this but you have these men who are just their sex life is over and I don't know how old they are but like yeah they're not. They're unhappy people and they're They're not finding partners. Um.
[06:51] Keith: Um.
[06:54] Keith: Yeah.
[07:01] Mike: And this is yeah I mean there's a whole bunch of other things I talk about on the podcast in relation to this. There's the ticktok account that I follow or I see sometimes ho something home math H O E underscore math where this guy talks about it's basically the thing where women are all going after the most attractive guys blah blah blah blah blah and I think there's there's a whole bunch of things that are basically.
[07:17] Keith: Um, yeah.
[07:19] Mike: Taking a percentage of the dating a men out of the dating pool and I think these are symptoms of that that would that would be my take.
[07:27] Keith: Yeah I mean there's definitely a crisis where young people are dating less and having sex less drinking less too apparently but doing other drugs potentially um, can you take as an assignment to find one of these reviews that you think is particularly.
[07:45] Mike: Um, yeah, they're just there I will I mean the key is they're just very detailed and and and and and I would say these people are decent writers and through the page through the web site I feel frustration emanating from their words which is impressive like.
[07:45] Keith: Eloquent I wrote it it.
[07:58] Keith: Yeah, yeah, the yeah yeah yeah.
[08:01] Mike: So These are people you can tell like they got this thing that high hopes for it and in their in their cock was in there and they were they just just didn't get them off and and so this is their life like and you wonder I mean are there these people that just and oh and this like some of them will say things like hey I have this other one and this other one and this other one and this one's like you know in between. And you say well how many of these fucking things like what what does your bedroom look like you know Anyway, Yep, Oh yeah.
[08:23] Keith: Right? Yeah, yeah, 1 shutters to think um, okay I 2 other pieces of patter. Um, how do women try on swimsuits.
[08:36] Mike: So I know this ah they leave the little um ah, there's like ah there's a piece of paper that's kind of glued to the crotch of the swimsuit when you go to the store and they leave it on there when they try it on and oh sorry they also wear underwear I think.
[08:43] Keith: Oh.
[08:49] Keith: I mean let's say they don't wear underwear and they they leave a little discharge snail trail on this like paper thing I mean if it's if it's a popular swimsuit and it's been tried on 6 times does the paper get you know sort of neely or what happens.
[08:52] Mike: I Don't think that's typical.
[08:59] Mike: The bigger concern right? Yeah, the bigger concern for the woman is going to be the thing transferring to her not from her right? So so yeah, wearing underwear would be a.
[09:11] Keith: Either way. Yeah I mean it the the first one has to happen before the other. But yeah.
[09:18] Mike: Yeah I mean there's some so there. Yeah, there's a I mean this could happen to a man too if you were trying on a swimsuit right? I mean depending on how tight it is. You could have some kind of grossness. Yeah I hear you.
[09:25] Keith: I mean I'm a medium in everything. But yeah yeah I guess that is kind of gross but I would probably just leave my boxers on.
[09:35] Mike: Yeah, so that's and and for a woman that's actually even easier because they're typically wear underwear that's form fitting. So.
[09:42] Keith: Yeah, but don't they want to see like you know how the revealing nature of the Wimsuits Wimsuit swimsuit you know looks against their their body or so I don't know.
[09:50] Mike: Yeah I mean there are other things you can do I mean you could they could wear like a pad over there. You know they could cover their is that a thing.
[09:56] Keith: Sure don't they have to take the bathroom selfie to show to everybody. There's for the changing room Selfie yeah you see photos of people trying on stuff all the time.
[10:10] Mike: Okay I wasn't aware of that. Well I mean I've seen that in porn. But that's different. They're not. They're sort of in there with a bunch of clothes. But then they fuck.
[10:17] Keith: No, it's pretty common to see even on like dating app profiles like somebody will be in it. What is what is it called it that the changing room isn't the right word. What is a room where you like try on clothes. Changing room is like the low brow name for it. There's like a more high end name I don't know.
[10:29] Mike: A changing room what a cabana or something I'm not sure you.
[10:37] Keith: I don't know all right? Let's move on. Okay, the last thing I had was I talked to my brother in law and he wanted me to tell you that hyperventilating does not increase the oxygen in your blood. Ah the oxygen in your blood is generally like 97 to 100% for most people even when breathing like whenever just like passively breathing at sea level.
[10:44] Mike: Um, oh.
[10:53] Mike: Right? It pulls it it lowers your C O two. Yeah, that's fine. Sure sure.
[10:56] Keith: What correct correct so it it lowers your um sensation of needing to breathe.
[11:05] Mike: Um, that's not totally I mean.
[11:09] Keith: We went through a big thing on this, you can look on Wikipedia that is exactly what happened so hyperventilating is a little bit dangerous because it lowers the C O two which does build back up once you start holding your breath. But ah, it's starting from a lower point and so you're. Urge to breathe is lessened.
[11:28] Mike: Okay, but what is the what is sort of the physiological explanation then for okay so I understand that if you hyperventilate you could then hold your breath and have some symptoms because you're able to hold your breath longer because this the C O 2 reflex takes longer to kick in but for this and ah.
[11:38] Keith: Correct That's right right.
[11:46] Mike: And terocepptive. Whatever it is the therapy where you basically try to bring on symptoms. You get it during during interocepptive and during the hyperv ventilation. So if you hyperv ventilate for like 2 minutes I encourage well with the set of their doctor but have you ever tried this Keith ok.
[11:59] Keith: I don't know but this is not very interesting content. So unless you have something to say quickly. We should move on.
[12:06] Mike: Okay I would just say that something happens while you're while you're hypervtilating and if he's saying oh well, the oxygen levels don't change then I would say well, what's wise does something happen. Maybe it triggers something because this oxygen c you balance changes no during hyperventilation if you hyperv venilate for 2 minutes try it. You will have a weird.
[12:17] Keith: Um, oh you mean during orgasm. Ah.
[12:25] Mike: Psychological experience and it's not when you hold your breath afterward. It's while you're hyperventilating.
[12:28] Keith: Oh I'm not sure I've never tried. Yeah, okay, yeah for listeners for whom this is their first episode. We had a lengthy discussion about auto eotic asphyxiation on our last episode and the topic of hyperventilation came up so it's just. Putting a little scientific explanation onto that. Um, okay, you have a porn for us I think.
[12:57] Mike: Um, yeah, this is um this is a porn I mentioned this I think two weeks ago or something like that I turned it on by accident too soon? Ah, okay, so this is a couple who it's called they're they're called the lustful lovers and I was made aware of this couple. Ah, from a subreddit that I follow called Chick flicks which is a subreddit that is women suggesting porns to other women. So. It's typically going to be women who find a porn where the characters are you know people that women would find attractive and so forth. So it's going to be like more romantic maybe women that don't look underage etc.
[13:26] Keith: Sure.
[13:34] Mike: Um, and so ah, the um, the thing though I wanted to do is to sort of complain about this porn and and and and I think that I wanted to preface this by saying I think that ah look porn is a really important part of most men's lives whether they admit it or not ah right? and.
[13:51] Keith: It's important part of mine. Yeah.
[13:54] Mike: So This is this thing that's kind of hidden I mean I mean when men are in relationships with women. They often get to hear about all the different things that are kind of idiosyncratic to the woman things that the man's not interested in maybe whatever sort of stereotypical things. You can think of. But. It doesn't really go the other way when it's to do with porn so you don't really get to talk about like hey I've seen this set of porns lately that have been really chapping my hide. Um and I think that's a function. This podcast can fill is to encourage people to have these conversations with their partner so they know what's going on in their porn life. Um.
[14:16] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[14:22] Keith: M.
[14:29] Mike: And so this is one yeah where there's like a thing and we talked about it a little bit but I thought this was a good example and basically the concern I have is that he this the man in this sort of romantic sex scene. They have a bunch of them on Pornhub really wants. His partner is female partner to Orgasm. She obviously does not in my view. And then also I would say that like the the the way they talk between them I Just don't like it very much it detracts from my experience and you could say well who cares? but it's like look this is an important part of men's lives is what happens Important. So The fact that I don't like what happens in important I think actually does kind of matter you should people should care.
[14:54] Keith: Okay.
[15:04] Keith: Okay, okay, um.
[15:06] Mike: I'm representative of a certain segment of men and I'm curious if you feel differently. Yeah, then how I feel about it. Maybe yeah, maybe that what you'll you'll see in hear you'll be like and we we can play the audio from it on the podcast. Maybe you'll say hey this is exactly what sex is like for me. Yeah, something like that.
[15:12] Keith: Differently than what that this is that this okay I see I see I see okay, okay, all right and how much audio do we have here about 45 seconds for so all right? Let's let's hear it.
[15:29] Mike: All right? So I'm starting it and I can put the link to this in the show notes I'm starting at 14 minutes and 45 seconds into it and I'll hold my phone up to the the microphone and we'll listen ready. Okay.
[15:33] Keith: All right.
[15:42] Keith: Drum roll.
[15:50] Mike: Ah, will your pussy once you come once you come? ah.
[15:55] Keith: Um.
[16:01] Mike: We compete. She's in acomp free. Ah you'
[16:02] Keith: No yeah, right.
[16:12] Mike: Yeah, ah, ah, hang on a seck he he's he's getting there right? Ah ah, aht.
[16:13] Keith: Yeah, okay.
[16:28] Keith: No, she's not.
[16:30] Mike: Woman for that little pussy for that little pussy taking him a long time to fill the little pussy breathe that little pussy gonna breathe it baby and that little pussy' gonna come like come.
[16:41] Keith: Um, boom.
[16:49] Mike: Ah, ah, coming hang on hang on bear with me for 1 more second though, oh oh my gosh you don't like this part to gross you up fat. Ah oh my gosh that.
[16:50] Keith: Okay.
[17:09] Keith: All right.
[17:12] Mike: Ah, sees a car. Okay, then he says let's see all the come I don't want nobody wants that part. Okay, so so a few things. So what.
[17:14] Keith: Some people must because this happened that happens in so many porns where they get get all up in the zoom in real close to the vaginal out opening and the watch the semen drip out. But.
[17:24] Mike: I Know Yeah yeah, somebody mice that this is the thing like so it's like okay we have this interesting preference dichotomy between men who don't like them men who do but okay so let's take the last part here the part where he's repeatedly kind of whimpering how much he loves her.
[17:29] Keith: Yeah, that why does some people like that. Yeah.
[17:40] Keith: Um.
[17:40] Mike: That's not common in Porn I Have to say I really dislike it and I don't It's upsetting to me. Do you agree or disagree. Do you do this now. Okay, good. No ah.
[17:47] Keith: Ah, no.
[17:55] Keith: ah ah I mean I haven't had a long term partner for over a year now anyway, so um I definitely wouldn't in a short term.
[18:02] Mike: But you wouldn't you would or wouldn't anyway is it possible. This could happen in your life is ok, ok, but it's not like off the radar. It's not like all it's not impossible for you to imagine in a long term relationship acting like that as you come.
[18:11] Keith: Relationship that would be insane. Um.
[18:16] Keith: I can imagine a certain kind of like intimate sexual encounter with somebody that I've been seeing for a long time.
[18:24] Mike: Really? Okay so I can't like it really bothers me in the thing about this is even if I'm sort of in the Plateau stage of masturbating and so like I'm kind of.
[18:29] Keith: I Don't know I don't know Yeah I know I know you can't and you're you're very intimacy averse. Ah.
[18:44] Keith: Um, yeah.
[18:44] Mike: Insulated from disgust I can't tolerate that like this sort of like yeah this over I don't know he's just this over affectionction or whatever really bothers me I think that women on chick Flis like it so maybe women appeal something I even sure if that's true.
[19:01] Keith: I don't know why that was recommended to chick Flis the the thing that I didn't like about that is yeah like he's basically asking her to orgasm on Command and you know and then they they set up this sort of like elaborate thing like oh I'm going to come as soon as you do and.
[19:02] Mike: Like if this is a thing they would like.
[19:10] Mike: Um, well sure and then she flies.
[19:21] Keith: Ah, women just don't work like that. Um, it's It's more um I mean maybe if it's with a partner. She's very comfortable with and they've gotten. You know they've got some sort of routine down. But even then it's it's somewhat unpredictable and her saying like yeah I'm going to come for you.
[19:22] Mike: Right.
[19:40] Keith: In prospect. It just feels sort of I mean it's just obviously performative.
[19:47] Mike: If you've ah in the past mentioned this idea of and I think it's a good idea that someone maybe a listener could go implement. They won't because our listeners are all just sit at home beating off, but the.
[19:57] Mike: You've had this idea that for sporting events. You could have alternate tracks alternate audio tracks. So like different you could you could have like a bunch of different people. You know they have for football. They now have um Peyton manning and his brother who like and I have no I've never listened to it but I know that exists you could have alternate tracks right? So that you don't have to listen to like ah my wife hates. Ah.
[20:05] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, Simul cast.
[20:17] Mike: Romo yeah, she hates him ah and so so for example, so you could imagine like these porns I think would be substantially better if you could just replace the audio. So just have some people in like a studio who just record audio that's just not this.
[20:17] Keith: Tony Romo yep
[20:31] Keith: Yeah, but I think different people would have different preferences.
[20:35] Mike: Why but you could change out the audio so you could make you could take 1 porn and make like and make a lot more people happy with it and and rid the world of this like problem of like because I like the visual in this porn anyway.
[20:47] Keith: Do Porn directors have intuition on this like do they know what? like the most people like yeah, that's a good point.
[20:52] Mike: I mean I Pretty sure this one is just videoed by them. But your your question I have like I think the answer got to that kind of has to be no because professionally produced porn I think is is really hard to consume for a different reason right? It's just so performative. It's so like. The women whimper in this way. That's not believable et cetera et Cetera et Cetera I've complained many times before about this. So like there's this middle ground that I Prefer. Um.
[21:12] Keith: Um, yeah.
[21:15] Keith: If you watched Pornhub logged in would it eventually learn your preferences and it does but only for that session. sorry sorry yeah you don't use an incogniial browser. Yeah I use an income.
[21:23] Mike: Um, it learns Even if you don't log in because they cookie your browser So it it Ah no no I mean it's are that computer. Why would I do that.
[21:35] Keith: I Don't know I don't like having my porn viewing in my browser history I Know you don't care.
[21:39] Mike: I Actively like it because it's just like fuck you like I don't I I'm showing to everybody that I don't care right? It's like it's like it. Yeah, it's right? It's an Alpha move to like the theory.
[21:46] Keith: Yeah, well I don't know who everybody is the viewers of your internet history I mean Google has it right? It's on their server somewhere. Maybe they can serve you better ads.
[21:57] Mike: Yeah I mean have you ever considered like let's say you were 1 right? Let's say you were 1 of these dudes that had like a basement full of like jerk off devices and then you died of course you'd say I don't care what happens after I died fine all like somebody's going to find all those things like it's kind of the same thing. It's an alpha move. You're like look fuck you.
[22:10] Keith: Um, right? yeah right? This is who I am I own it? Yeah yeah.
[22:16] Mike: Like yeah this is my this is my hobby. Yeah, yeah, it's like yeah I've got a dildo behind my bed like fuck off yeah.
[22:22] Keith: Right? All right? Let's move on. Um, so this was on the tinder subreddit and this person wonders have you guys seen dating emails is this a new trend and this is the person's profile. It's actually.
[22:33] Mike: Ah.
[22:41] Keith: From hinge and the prompt is the best way to ask me out is by this person wrote sending me a full day proposal to blank at gmail.com 1 page limit creativity detail and organization will get you bonus points hard emoji introduce yourself and your intentions my time is an earned privilege smiley face and so this guy.
[22:58] Mike: It This is a woman saying this I assume okay.
[23:01] Keith: This guy writes. Yeah, of course this person writes This is an extra entitled one. So take this with a grain of salt. They're not all this bad. But I do think it's weird to do this and I've seen a couple of these now. What the fuck is this? um I don't understand why women don't do this.
[23:11] Mike: Um, yeah, it's a trend is what it is.
[23:20] Keith: More like they have infinity people effectively throwing themselves at them. Why not create a super fine filter and see what comes through that filter and try dating only those people.
[23:36] Mike: I Think that um I don't think that would work and I'll tell you why I think that ah I mean why don't they do it I mean there here you have some women at least sort of doing it I think it would not work because those things create a massive incentive to um. Game to game the system and so I think that you would exclude guys who are just like look I'm not going to spend time on this and you would include guys who are like yeah this is all I do all day long and so and so I think they would you disagree So Go ahead.
[24:09] Keith: Yeah I do disagree. Um I think that because they have in thick effectively infinity people throwing themselves at it. Any filter is still going to have infinity people.
[24:21] Mike: What wait? What's the goal. You're that that's important. Actually your's.
[24:24] Keith: The goal is so the problem that women have is they have infinity people throwing themselves at them. But every time they go on a date. It's awful.
[24:30] Mike: Okay, but what but but I just want even more meta than that. What are you assuming the gold woman's goal is to get married or something. Okay, okay, don't my advice to women don't use dating apps.
[24:37] Keith: Yeah to meet I mean they're on a dating App. So. Okay, all right.
[24:46] Mike: Dating out like you're you're you're already going to lose if you're on a dating app if you're if you seriously want to get married I think that like I I'm confident a dating app is a bad way to do that. Yeah, like do it The old fashioned way where you like join things that like yeah they like you have interests and like you meet got people in context and stuff like that.
[24:55] Keith: Um, I mean.
[25:01] Keith: Okay, well fine. That's great, but setting aside that for the sake of this conversation. Um, you're on a dating app And yeah I mean I think the problem is they don't vet the candidates well enough and the and the reason why they don't is because it's impossible. There's too many candidates and.
[25:05] Mike: All right.
[25:18] Mike: Um, right.
[25:21] Keith: Differentiating between them is hard so why not make them jump through 20 hoops. Yes, some men will like some men will self select out. Maybe the best ones would self select out but I'm not sure that's true I think if you're a 10 and you say something like this.
[25:25] Mike: Well, the argument I'd make is the same one I just made that you'll you'll yeah yeah.
[25:40] Keith: I bet some 10 men will go through the go go through the effort because they know that they're going to shine in such an exercise.
[25:48] Mike: Yeah I mean it depends on what what the woman's looking for I Just think that you're going to essentially select I think anything any complicated process you make like that you're going to essentially select for professional daters. Like you're not yeah, you're not going to get guys who are want who want to get married.. You're going to get a guy who's like oh this is a fun game to play I Just yeah I'm I'm skeptical that like that will that will accomplish if if your goal was to yeah.
[26:11] Keith: I don't I don't know if that's right like let's say there's yeah, 10 men who date around a lot and 10 men who you know just signed up for hinge. You think that the men who date a lot are more likely to respond to this.
[26:27] Mike: Not it depends it depends because you.
[26:29] Keith: I think I think it's just orthogonal I don't think that you're on I don't think you're accidentally filtering out and even if you are you could say like yeah you could ask questions that would filter out like you can make one of your questions have you been. On dates with more than 5 new people in the last year and if the answer is yes then just exclude them.
[26:47] Mike: I Think this is sort of isomorphic I mean something I have more experience with is interviewing people for a job and it's I think it's sort of isomorphic to that. It's like look you're going to get yeah you can make a really complicated thing that people have to do and maybe okay if you're the only one doing it.
[26:55] Keith: Um, yeah.
[27:05] Mike: If You're the first. Okay, maybe somehow do it filter but the problem is it's going to get gamed this that might that would be my concern is whatever you do look What was this it was right this like complicated thing about the day you'll plan look. They'll just they'll just be like them. They'll be circulating online or the person write one and use it for everyone or whatever it somehow it won't. Yeah I mean it's difficult to systematize a thing like this that that would be my sort of challenge to to to it working I guess you could say hey most people don't do it. So Obviously it hasn't gotten systematized yet. Although this question implies. It's happening somewhere.
[27:31] Keith: Ah.
[27:37] Keith: Yeah I don't think that's I think your mind always goes to like some sort of endgame where everyone's cheating and I just don't think that's how people behave like I think especially people in their twenty s or whatever. Ah, like if you created. Something that had like a 20 question filter. You know like a Google doc at Google form or if you like asked people to write you an essay that had like a nonstandard prompt I think you would basically ah fix the problem that they have now which is. Every single person they swipe on has already swiped yes on them and so they have this infinite supply of dudes that they can't differentiate at all between they all seem fine. Um, and so you want to create like some new filter that maybe it's too stringent but again like. Infinity times anything is still infinity. Um.
[28:31] Mike: Yeah I understand your point I mean I yeah like I think your put your point is well- taken. Maybe maybe an analogy would be ah college admissions. You know so there are colleges. There are a lot of colleges experimenting with now with getting rid of ah the sat and all this sort of stuff.
[28:46] Keith: Yeah.
[28:48] Mike: And what you know what? they really like is for you to write an essay and um there I mean whatever there's data that suggests that selecting people for a college based on essays is just random. You know it's right? Yeah, it's sort of hard but I get your point you're basically saying look Ah okay.
[28:57] Keith: Well probably even more so now with Chet G P T right.
[29:07] Mike: These women have go on dates with guys who appear to be low iq like really low or something like they go they go they go on the date and the guy just isn't able to communicate like there's some problem and there's some filter you can put in that would sort of ideally get rid of those and so writing an essay or something is a reasonable thing. There. Um I would just be concerned that there are a lot of guys that are high value who don't won't take the time. Well this gets back to the thing that I always argue that like the dating platform should should just be linked to the guy's bank account and look at what his w 2 you know how much money he gets every month because that's like.
[29:25] Keith: I Mean you could ask them to take an Iq test with some sort of hashed score so that they couldn't cheat on it and.
[29:39] Keith: Yeah, but but since that doesn't exist. Yeah I Just don't understand like so many attractive women's profiles are like just pictures or a few pictures and like really lazy profile text.
[29:42] Mike: That's the same as an Iq test. Sure sure I hear you though I mean yeah.
[29:58] Keith: And the woman is just like her opinion is like why do I need to make like a better profile I'm just going to get more people inbound and like my argument would be. You should make the absolute best profile you can possibly make and then also have some sort of really stringent filter and then date the people that ah.
[30:14] Mike: Yeah I just don't I don't understand why women let me just I know this will maybe irritate you but back to this other point I made at the beginning I don't understand mean so you have you have grinder. So when you have 2 men. What do you wind up with a dating app. What's quote unquote dating. That's just look. We're going to fuck.
[30:17] Keith: Pass the filter.
[30:32] Keith: Yeah, yes.
[30:34] Mike: Okay, when you have a man and a woman you have something that's kind of in between you have a profile they care a little bit more when it's a woman and a woman is there like a grinder equivalent where they're really just you know, looking for love like it's like it's like to me, it's like look like the the evidence to me suggests women don't get a lot out of this dating app thing.
[30:45] Keith: Oh I Well I mean.
[30:54] Mike: Men do because yeah men just want to fuck but it's like look if you want to meet someone you like yeah you have to get into an environment where you spend I don't know 25 hours with them and that's kind of tricky.
[30:54] Keith: Right.
[31:01] Keith: Ah I think men I think men just want to fuck and accept for when they get surprised by a woman that's compelling to them or the woman plays plays a game in such a way that denies sex to him or.
[31:15] Mike: Yeah I yeah I mean I just think if you if you knew a woman who wanted to get married in the next like 5 years would you seriously say mean I guess I would suggest everything all the above. But I really think I would suggest like not using to you know at least trying.
[31:17] Keith: Makes him want to coming back for more sex. It's it's tricky.
[31:33] Mike: Joining Maybe maybe everybody just sits on their computer in their bed all day long nowadays. So nobody does anything but I just feel like you know.
[31:37] Keith: If I were an attractive woman I would I I mean here's some things I would try I am a professional dater and so like I've tried everything you can try as a man and I've a B tested things and if I were a woman that were like that there are basically there are very few men who are like me.
[31:46] Mike: Ok.
[31:55] Keith: There were even fewer women who are like me because they have an infinite supply of potential dates. But if if my problem was that I was I had an infinite supply but the um you know the goods were plenty but the the goods were all lame. Um.
[31:55] Mike: Um, probably yes.
[32:12] Keith: I would try a bunch of things. So like I might say like you know include your Linkedin on your first message and if they say they don't have a Linkedin fuck off by um or I might. Create a website that actually had like a form with various things they had to fill out like you know what was your a t score where did you go to so college like what was your family life growing up. What was this? What was that like you know how do you feel about Israel Palestine. What do you think about astrology. What do you think about? you know like I might do all these things.
[32:42] Mike: Okay.
[32:44] Keith: And then like yeah like the question would be so by doing that if I did it right? I would get it so that all of the men who make it through that filter are eights and higher the question it would be to me and this is the thing that I would need to experiment with is do I get rid of the nines and tens like do I Create. I Do I do raise the ceiling but do I Also sorry I do raise the floor but do I lower the ceiling by creating these hoops because a similarly high value man might just be like fuck this I'm not going to bother I'm not sure I would need to experiment I Don't think my intuition is that a high value man would be like holy shit this is this is obviously.
[33:09] Mike: Now I also was yeah, it's that.
[33:23] Keith: Ah, high value woman like look at all this stuff. She's put together like this website is awesome I've I would have curated my photos and written stuff that was like you know, painted me in as good of a light as possible. Um, and yeah.
[33:33] Mike: It comes across a little weird and compulsive though too right? I mean it's like this you know it's like okay so when when we when we plan our wedding. She's going to have some crazy website she builds and a gone. Yeah oh it. Yeah, it could be okay.
[33:38] Keith: Maybe but I would prefer. Yeah I would find that attractive. But yeah that some people wouldn't like I I I like other weird and compulsive people.
[33:52] Mike: Okay, yeah I just think I just think that um you know you're talking about basically signaling mechanisms. So for example, you know you go to what you you go to a job and you find out they're these you know 10 people and they all have degrees from ivy league colleges or they all went to Stanford business school or something and so you assume hey they're all really smart and then you. Or whatever. They're all really compelling in some way and then you get to know them and you realize actually most of them aren't and so you could call that gaming the system you call whatever you want, but it's Tricky. It's like yeah to to figure out who the nines and tens are requires a lot of time unfortunately and so it's like well I feel like it's better to do that into the context of like hey I want to. Learn to fly a plane or I want to learn scuba or I want to I don't know like some activity where you then meet people you know real life.
[34:34] Keith: Do you think? but do you think if you could only date people who were like attractive ah Summa Cum Laude graduates from Ivy League schools that they on average wouldn't be more.
[34:50] Mike: It would depend on what their major is obviously so if they were a anthropology major or sociology then but let's say you want to you Want to say like natural sciences Summa Cum Laude of course, of course they would be more compelling of course. Yes.
[34:51] Keith: Compelling.
[35:01] Keith: Or stamp stem or whatever sure. Ah, so I mean you can seede. There are filters that and and so there are for men as well. I'm sure.
[35:07] Mike: Yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah for sure, it's just it's just that.
[35:14] Keith: I Just don't I Just don't understand why people aren't experimenting with this.
[35:18] Mike: Yeah I mean I think dating apps are tricky Well of course right? it would have to be the woman that does it that that makes it I I mean I think there's merit to your viewpoint I don't like yeah I think I think I hear what you're saying you're basically saying yeah they they they could get some mileage out of this I Just think that.
[35:19] Keith: I can't like if I did this I would get 0 matches ever I already get hardly any matches.
[35:35] Keith: Right.
[35:38] Mike: You I don't know that it would work and it's not that they would yeah like this this notion that oh it's they're they're going to I'm saying game the system you're saying like oh they're they're they're just can use trickery. It's not exactly that it's that it's that the person who makes it through a filter like that isn't always who they seem to be you know.
[35:55] Keith: Yeah, all right? Let's move on to something a little bit more of lighthearted. Um, this post has been removed by Reddit have you noticed an increase in removals of posts from Reddit.
[35:56] Mike: Anyway.
[36:08] Mike: Um I was banned I was banned from the Oakland subreddit because I comply I did I asked on the Oakland Suburb Oakland is just a dumpster fire. But I as like I think everybody in the country knows that and like ah people people actually reach out and make fun of me because our in and out has closed our Denny's closed I mean who cares about Denny's but it's like. Closing because a crime anyway, I post it just to say hey um this happened I know where my stuff is should I call the police like what should I do like I know where my stuff is should I just go try to find it and ultimately I decided to do that and and I got some useful feedback because it's like yeah obviously the concern is that like it's in the burglars house and you're going to get killed you know and it was.
[36:27] Keith: Um, yeah.
[36:35] Keith: Um, yeah.
[36:40] Keith: Right? Yes, that's where my mind went when you said that you recovered it.
[36:45] Mike: Of course of course. But I mean luckily it was just on the street and I was able to sort of check that. But and it was in a neighborhood that wasn't it was a nicer neighborhood so it was a little weird anyway I got banned because banned like I can't ever contribute to the community again I got banned because you're not allowed to talk about crime. Ah and and.
[36:56] Keith: Yeah.
[37:01] Keith: O.
[37:05] Mike: Then I said well you know I wasn't just saying I wasn't complaining I was actually asking I think a useful piece of feedback and then they said something like well since we've the moderator replied and that since we've instituted this the subreddit has grown 50% now 1 thing that's queer curious about that is that the Oakland subreddit has like it's like almost everybody in the town is. On the subreddits you wonder? what? that means like maybe there's just a bunch of I'm not sure who's on there and then they basically said something rude to me like you know we you won't be missed. So yeah I think there's like a I think there's a ah maybe it's because x and Twitter has become free speech Reddit's becoming like no free speech.
[37:41] Keith: Yeah, oh no, no I think the sex subreddit might have new moderators that are more being more doctrar about rule enforcement. Um, but I remember because I looked at this today.
[37:42] Mike: Is that where you were going with that like this sort of up up. Okay.
[37:50] Mike: Oh I'm sure.
[37:57] Keith: Remember what the post said so it was a woman and her question was does thrusting come naturally to men and she was saying that ah she would use to strap on and I don't remember if it was with a male partner or a female partner but she was saying that like yeah like her hips got sore and. Ah, you know how do men you know have the endurance to like continuously thrust and.
[38:20] Mike: Um, if you watch strap on porn and regular hetero porn. It's obvious the women there's something anatomical there that makes it much less. Um, maybe it's because it's a strap on but it makes it less easy for the women. It's obvious they're sort of it's awkward. That's what I would say they're awkward.
[38:39] Keith: Yeah, the first response here was the reason to include this in the first place this guy says when I get turned on the urge to thrust is massive even if I'm not hard I at least want to press my dick against something if I am hard that still feels good, but the urge is to press it into something.
[38:40] Mike: When they do it anyway. Go on sure.
[38:57] Keith: When I'm inside a woman The urge still doesn't go away it wants movement but more than anything it wants to thrust deeper and that urge simply doesn't go away when I start orgasming it. It just gets even stronger. It's a very nifty way Evolution has selected for a trait that almost guarantees men not only finish inside but also as deep as possible to ensure successful Breeding. Doesn't matter if I'm balls deep in her. It's not enough nothing will ever be enough for it. It once more I will instinctively dig my toes into the mattress and push with my legs while grabbing her and burying my tip deeper I thought of what is your experience.
[39:29] Mike: That's not what I experienced but go on. Yeah, it's a little well that's a little much I mean I think that yeah I mean generally look I mean the the the vagina is tighter around the opening and you're. The head of your penis gets really sensitive I mean that's so that's how it works right? I mean it's you So you want to? it's it's sort of uncomfortable can be uncomfortable. You want to go deeper and then yeah there is this sort of general ah urge to push in but I don't think that you know you're trying to bury your you know like get your whole pelvis in there or something I don't. Experience that it's do you? Oh really? Yeah I think that I may I think that my experience is I try to do whatever feels past.
[40:05] Keith: Huh I Felt like this guy's description was like fairly. Yeah it it Jibes with my experience.
[40:20] Keith: Um, yeah, but I think what feels best is being as deep as possible.
[40:23] Mike: Um, well not necessarily because if you because if if you go so deep that they had ah you know this might be a size differential thing. But if you go so deep that the head of your penis starts to like rub against structures in there. It could like it's fine, but it could like you know.
[40:33] Keith: Or here we go. Ah yeah, you could control angle.
[40:39] Mike: Be too sensitive again.
[40:44] Mike: Well, you're you're youre you're coming while that's happening so it's trying of tricky to you don't have much time to to adjust I hear you though so you actually you're saying you dig your toes into the bed to.
[40:48] Keith: Yeah.
[40:58] Keith: No, but like the notion of like ah like trying Maximally to get as deep as possible sounds. Yeah yeah that that that is my experience and I think he's right that that is.
[41:14] Mike: Wait, Okay, but so while you're orgasming you. You only go in. You don't go in and out at all like let's say you get Yeah, it's only in and then you get maximally deep and then you just hold it there really? yeah I don't I think I think.
[41:16] Keith: Ah, evolutionarily so selected for and probably most people's experience.
[41:28] Keith: Yes, yes.
[41:34] Mike: Here's what I'll say to you Keith I think there's more pleasure available than that I think there is I think if you move back a little bit. You might get more a little more pleasure. You don't want to pull all the way out like you're trying to get a cream pie on the lips or something you're not doing that but just a little motion now I think you're missing out.
[41:39] Keith: Ah I.
[41:46] Keith: Ah huh all right I will I will report back same like being as deep as possible when I'm coming is nice I well.
[41:53] Mike: How do you do that when you're getting a blow though.
[42:01] Mike: Um, but you could cause her distress all right? Yeah I don't know it's ah and so when you're masturbating. Do you like put your fist right up against your groin and kind of put you know make it so it's like as deep as possible when you come same thing.
[42:04] Keith: That's unfortunate I agree.
[42:15] Keith: Now Masturbation is different Somehow yeah I think I stop huh I need to I need to pay take this as a note to pay more attention.
[42:18] Mike: There You have some nuance. Do you keep stroking or do you stop while you're coming I don't I don't think I do I like to get that I like to get Yeah, there's a little more pleasure possible kind of.
[42:37] Keith: Yeah, okay I'll pay attention next time I masturbate which you'll be within a few hours probably you ah now would have happened regardless. All let's move on. Um, oh yeah, the.
[42:38] Mike: And. Because of this conversation we turned him On. No.
[42:54] Keith: Cowgirl orgasmings person all right? Hopefully this one hasn't been removed all right? Ah, this person says they can only come by humping I'm a 21 year old female and I can only orgasm by having a guy's stick inside of me then basically grinding So my clit rubs against him I've been told that this doesn't do anything for the guy. So I just feel really selfish and awkward when I want to do it like how do I bring this up to any partners and doesn't really just feel like nothing to the guy. Ah I've had 2 partners that can get off reliably that way maybe more to that I remember.
[43:20] Mike: Um, yes.
[43:29] Mike: Sure.
[43:31] Keith: Um, and I don't think it does nothing I mean it's kind of nice to be used in that way.
[43:40] Mike: Yeah, but I mean it I well I think I think 1 way women one tip off to the woman in this case is that often. The guy becomes less erect during this and I know this it's not just I have this experience but I also it happens in porn somewhat reliably that when this is happening and then she withdraws it a bit.
[43:52] Keith: Yeah, um.
[43:54] Keith: Yeah. Yeah, yeah I think she needs to like angle her like pelvic floor forward a little bit to get like maximum pressure on her clit and then the angle that causes in the vaginal cavity is not as tight or.
[44:00] Mike: Ah, they have a little bit of a challenge a little. Um, yeah.
[44:09] Mike: Um, yeah.
[44:17] Mike: Yeah, the way I've been tried I've always thought it's It's not that might be right I've I've always thought it's like it's It's just angling. It's it's somehow making it so that having the I don't know. Maybe it's not as opportune to keep the erection as firm or something. It's It's sort of it's a little bit of an awkward ankle I don't yeah.
[44:18] Keith: Pleasurable for me.
[44:37] Mike: But it could all It could just be that It's not as tight that might be right actually and also the grinding thing doesn't do much for you because it's not thrusting go ahead.
[44:38] Keith: Yeah, the reason I The reason why I brought this up is yeah this would it would be my expectation that women can mostly come from that position or from missionary where yeah I'm like using my pubic bone to ride.
[44:57] Mike: Now.
[44:58] Keith: Grind against her clit and I think those are like probably the 2 most reliable ways that women can they're not. They're not orgasming from the like penis and the vagina it's ah as you one might expect. It's from pressure on their clip.
[45:09] Mike: Yeah that's the normal explanation. Although I saw a nice debate somewhere on Reddit this week because somebody was saying well. The Klit's external because then during childbirth it would be painful if the clit was in the vaginal canal. But then somebody said that. There and there are plenty of animals like hyenas or something where the clit is in the vaginal canal and then there was some debate about whether that means childbirth is extremely painful for these animals who knows it may not matter I mean honestly childbirth is already really painful. So I mean I'm not sure it's like we're also going to stab your clit simultaneously would it make it actually that much worse I don't really know.
[45:36] Keith: Um, yeah.
[45:45] Mike: Would make any difference but yes, practically speaking this is where the the anatomy is and so that's what that's what needs to happen for the woman to get there typically um the what I know another ah thing that I don't like in porn that I think people should talk about more and maybe you like it is a pretty common for.
[45:52] Keith: Yeah.
[46:00] Keith: Um.
[46:05] Mike: Porn to have this cowboy cowgirl position and then the guy starts thrusting rapidly upward into her while she sort of hovers I don't like that. Do you like that either way Actually yeah I don't It's weird I don't yeah so when you.
[46:12] Keith: Um, do I like seeing it important or does it feel good I don't know I don't think I like either. Yeah.
[46:23] Mike: You probably do you nut often from a woman on top or sometimes said is it typically her motion or do you have to start doing this other activity of okay so you have to do that to kind of get yourself off. Yeah, that's.
[46:26] Keith: Sometimes.
[46:33] Keith: It's probably me. Yeah I think I it's probably happened where yeah maybe if she like sort of leans back that gets pressure in the right place I don't know I'm not I'm not sure.
[46:48] Mike: Okay, so it's and it's rare for you to be able to get there with the woman on top like that. My experience is similar. Yeah, so so in some ways it's like in a lot of ways. It might just be a bad position for most people. It's not often listed as like a best position like be surely people pick missionary or doggy.
[46:54] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[47:05] Keith: Yeah I think Cowgirl is often hard for the woman on her under knees or squatting to like I think it could be sort of tire tiring for them. Yeah, right.
[47:16] Mike: Well squatting super difficult but even on her knees Sure and yeah encounters by the way did did you answer the question of whether you've noticed that like when women thrust in porn with a strap on it looks sort of awkward.
[47:32] Keith: Oh ah I don't I I almost never watch Lesbian porn and I definitely don't watch porn. We're like a guy's getting pegged that's not compelling to me. Yeah.
[47:39] Mike: Ah huh.
[47:42] Mike: Well I wasn't going there I was going to the Lesbian side. Okay, okay, yeah, it can be. It can be I like it. But.
[47:49] Keith: There's something about the like absence of a penis that makes it less I can't put myself in the in the room.
[47:52] Mike: O.
[47:59] Mike: That's true. But I mean I sort of like the yeah I mean that's just the more female bodies. It's cool, right? sure.
[48:01] Keith: Yeah I mean 2 women is nice I mean it's not that I've never watched lesbian porn and to the extent I have I guess yeah I have like some shadows of memories of it like being sort of awkward watching women pretend to fuck something but I don't have like strong opinions or.
[48:18] Mike: I Have to say that I think part of the awkwardness might just I've I've wondered whether it's just because they can't they have no tactile sensation so they don't know. For example, oh it's about to slip out. They don't know how much depth do all this kind of stuff. It's.
[48:27] Keith: Yeah, yeah, my guess is that getting the angle is right too like they probably wear the strap on like slightly higher than like the penis is actually attached I'm not sure.
[48:38] Mike: It could be hopefully ah once neural link becomes fully productized by Elon Musk there'll be some way for women to get the physicals and tactile feedback from a strap on. Yeah.
[48:48] Keith: Right? right? Um, okay this person this is gonna be short this person says during solo masturbation. How do guys avoid making a mess when they come now. We've touched this a bit. Um, but I wasn't really satisfied with like where our conversation went last time So when I masturbate.
[49:04] Mike: No.
[49:06] Keith: Um I normally use I mean here we go a t-shirt a t-shirt or a pair of boxers because I like the material that my boxers are made out of um.
[49:10] Mike: A row of what.
[49:20] Mike: Wait just so our listeners understand because this is not a thing that you ever see in porn or Chatterbait or anything he means that he's actually rubbing the boxers or the t-shirt against his cock.
[49:30] Keith: Yes I use I use it to create a sheath and Mike speculates this is because I have a very tight circumcision circumcision and so I can't that he's going to hear this. He's going to message me.
[49:37] Mike: You should have your brother in law look at it.
[49:44] Mike: Um, yeah, just have him. Well maybe there's something they could do they could loosen it up now. Maybe there's something Simpler I don't know maybe you could get you could botox it Maybe no Botox man. You just.
[49:48] Keith: I Don't need him to look to tell me that I have a tight circumcision I've seen they can There is surgery something similar what like putting putting lotion on it every day. Ah I don't know.
[50:03] Mike: Just get that skin a little loosened up. I got boat docks on my cock your scrotum would just be totally relaxed all the time.
[50:08] Keith: I Don't know how the surgery works. I Would I want it to make my my sp scrotum is no longer is it expressive as it used to be. Ah yeah I got Botox on my cock so that my masturbation could be better. Um.
[50:28] Mike: Um, yes.
[50:29] Keith: But anyway, so ah I use this material to create sort of a sheath around my penis so that it's more comfortable to stroke and look it sucks but but a a positive consequence of this is I basically have a semen catcher. Um, and so.
[50:34] Mike: Yeah I Really dislike this.
[50:44] Mike: Um, no, that's not a positive consequence because it's your it's your clothing That's a night that's that makes it worse like imagine have you ever had anybody as an adult that did your laundry like.
[50:51] Keith: It's I was worried that this is where this conversation would go Yes, Well I mean as an adult I've always done my own laundry and as it and when I was younger I think I wasn't as.
[50:56] Mike: So now you always do your own it. Okay.
[51:07] Keith: I think I probably used my hand more than but.
[51:10] Mike: So basically all of the kind of let's just say all of the fabrics in your laundry hamper that are this kind of acrylic or this nice sort of you know, like running shorts or something all of those have semen in them.
[51:25] Keith: Look it sounds weird. Would you that way but it does come out in the wash.
[51:31] Mike: I Know it's just your laundry hampers a real house of horrors. Do you use? You don't have but you live in an apartment building so you have your you have some sort of coin operated.
[51:38] Keith: Yeah, um I I am pretty careful to do my own laundry because of this.
[51:47] Keith: Yes, yeah, yeah, but then nobody knows yeah but every but I mean what do you use to wipe up your semen. Oh use paper towels or toilet paper I see.
[51:49] Mike: Washing machine. So that means somebody else is like getting your sloppy seconds.
[51:58] Mike: Toilet paper. Yeah yeah, but okay so let's go on so you so you you use this thing you rub it up and down or side to side or whatever and then what happens.
[52:08] Keith: Yeah, well so my question is I know what I do because I have yeah I have the semen catcher and it's sometimes some leaks out but then I just wipe it up with the t-shirt or the or whatever I'm using. Um.
[52:17] Mike: Ah.
[52:21] Mike: Um, I thought that wait I thought that you okay I was under the impression that you have you you always masturbated at your desk and that you put a line of toilet paper down the desk I Guess whatever distance you think you're likely to shoot that day and then you would stand up while masturbating and nut.
[52:34] Keith: Right? I I do do That's I do do that sometimes.
[52:37] Mike: On to the toilet paper is that would did that change and you have to know in advance if you're going to do it this way because you have to set it up. Okay, so what's what's see your you. What's your question now. Okay, yeah I think what I yeah.
[52:44] Keith: Because you got to get the runway out. Yeah, What do you do like what?? What's the I mean I sort of avoid getting it on my hand too because you know there's the protective sheath. Separating my hand from but what what is the opening in the penis called.
[53:06] Mike: Oh the meet us. Yes, yes, that's the yes, the dashs truly little opening. Well I have a.
[53:12] Keith: Okay, but you don't have this this luxury or detriment. So does it just go everywhere and then you you know some gets on the floor so you kleenex down there and some gets on your desk so you kleenex down there some gets on the sheets and you kleenex there like where does it all go.
[53:24] Mike: What it's not like a geyser wait hang on hang on you said you said before that when you're nutting, you kind of mimic. You don't stroke anymore and you mimic kind of this really sounds like we're gay.
[53:30] Keith: He's a bit like a geyser.
[53:38] Keith: I said I don't know if I stroke anymore I I took it as a note to pay more attention I mean I've masturbated thousands of times in my life. You'd think that like I would.
[53:42] Mike: Is so okay, so ah, okay, you're not sure let me ask you this. Let's let's just ask the question this way when you're when the semen starts coming out. Can you see the head of your penis or not with your eyes.
[53:57] Keith: I Guess I mean I'm normally looking at whatever content I'm looking at not my penis Sometimes it is is it like I said sometimes some like squirts out.
[54:01] Mike: You're not sure Well I'm just wondering whether this fabric is covering it or not that's it. Okay, okay so I think that so let's say you're with a partner and and this is getting going somewhere. This is going to I think elucidate My what I do let's say you're with a partner and you.
[54:18] Keith: Um, burnt.
[54:20] Mike: Have been inside of her and you pull out and you are close or whatever and you're going to masturbate yourself a bit you sort of move up a little bit on her body. So like maybe you'll not on her stomach. Okay, you don't get I Assume that at that moment you don't run to your hamper to get some fucking shorts you hold on.
[54:33] Keith: Um, this is.
[54:40] Mike: Right? You you you use the lubrication from her genitals to make your hands slide lusciously along your cock. Okay, and then you and then you nut onto her stomach. Let's say and it kind of goes in a pattern that everybody's familiar people are typically familiar with the typical semen pattern that looks like a puddle and then maybe smaller puddles further.
[54:46] Keith: Um, yeah, sure say.
[54:59] Mike: Down her stomach if you depending on how far you shot it? Okay, this is what I do right? like the entire experience is like that. It's simply using my hand and then there are 2 There are 2 possibilities one is I could have it land on an object like like what you.
[55:00] Keith: It's the colloquial map of Hawaii.
[55:08] Keith: Um, yeah, but where is it landing.
[55:16] Mike: Talk about like ah the the toilet paper covered desk or I could just have a land. My desk is made of glass and so ah I would be inclined just to nut on it and then use like a lysol wipe to.
[55:19] Keith: Ah, but you don't cover your do you don't cover your desk in toilet paper. Ah.
[55:29] Keith: Okay, so first you wipe it up. You sop it up with toilet paper and then you use paper towels and lisol or whatever.
[55:35] Mike: And then I would actually yes, no no I have like ah these like I have them right here like these um wet wipe things that you can simply chart. You'll notice that it kills the cold virus. It kills cold and flu viruses. Also.
[55:39] Keith: Can I see them I'm going to tell if you're lying or not. Okay, oh.
[55:50] Mike: You know's these lysol things you can buy them like a Costco or whatever and there's like a huge tub of them. Okay, so that way because yeah, you don't want like residue on your desk that's gross I agree with that. Okay, the other option is to just sort of nut on your stomach right? So you're just sort of sitting there and you you know which I think is very very common I know actually. I know it's very common because if you watch the men on Chatterbait this is what they all do there are no men on chatterbbait that do what you do? Keith you can just watch for research like there's no guys with their gym shorts. Yeah, not that I'm actually I shouldn't be shaming you because I don't I actually I'm kidding around.
[56:14] Keith: Um, yeah.
[56:22] Keith: It's not my fault.
[56:24] Mike: No I write I agree I think like I'm pretty anti-circumcision because of stuff like this like like basically yeah, your only other choice is to like use like a lube right? or 1 of these dick tickler toys that the problem I've had with the shower.
[56:31] Keith: Yes, in the shower I've mentioned this before but hair conditioner works pretty well, it's more viscous than shampoo. Yes I don't like that. Yes, there's tons of problems.
[56:42] Mike: You can get like stuff into your metus and then it stings right? and often it gets kind of frothy around. So it's actually right.
[56:50] Keith: Sex in the shower is generally bad but it's bad for masturbating too because I mean I can't really look at content I mean I could I can like prop up my phone but then my phone gets wet and I don't like looking at content on my phone Anyway, it's just a bunch of reasons why it's not ideal. Yes.
[56:57] Mike: Yeah. You don't like watching porn on your phone because the screen's too Small. So The quality is too low set the issue I actually agree actually agree with that. Yeah.
[57:09] Keith: Yeah I normally masturbate at my desk. But if I do you, You can't do this because you're married but I live alone So sometimes I masturbate in bed and I'll put my laptop like on my lap sort of like above my penis.
[57:26] Mike: Wait What oh oh so you're shooting your seamen at at the laptop's back.
[57:28] Keith: And and and my laptop's like yeah yes, but I have I have the sheath so it's not an issue.
[57:37] Mike: So you you're sort of like some sort of I'm imagining but kind of Mr Magoo like like myopic like you. It's like you have right? because you have the laptop quite close to your face when you're doing this.
[57:46] Keith: Yes, it's much. It's closer to my face than I would prefer um and especially I have a seventeen Inch macbook pro and I used to have a fifteen inch one and the seventeen inch screen is better for most things. Um, in fact, for watching content in bed. It's generally better. But. Usually I can position it lower on my waist but my my cock is so long that I have to move my I have to move my computer.
[58:07] Mike: Okay, I've never done that So so I'm I'm imagining this so the problem is you can't really be seated then you need to be lying down right? So you're lying down in bed your head's like propped up on a pillow. That's a little uncomfortable right.
[58:15] Keith: Yes, I'm lying. Yes, yep yep yep.
[58:24] Mike: And your kind of your arms are like it's almost like you have like you're one of those people like ah who who has really short arms like some sort of because you're you're you're having to like type really close to your like like basically the laptop's almost on your on your chest on your nipples or something That's a little weird I don't think that sounds uncomfortable but you know.
[58:34] Keith: Yep, you've got the right? you've got the right image here. Yep. I mean I've had years of Practice. So.
[58:43] Mike: That were you prefer that to just sitting and having the laptop sort of in a normal location like kind of wait. But when you're sitting in bed. Why wouldn't you just put the laptop below your scrotum.
[58:48] Keith: Now I would say I do the lion's share of my masturbating at my computer desk. But.
[59:02] Mike: Sort of on your knees and your thighs and masturbate toward your stomach and sit up.
[59:02] Keith: I think I I think when I masturbate I have I think when I lay in bed I often have my legs bent and my knees up.
[59:13] Mike: Okay, while you're masturbating or just always okay I would just say like.
[59:16] Keith: I think generally but probably including when I masturbate. Yeah so I couldn't I couldn't put my laptop on my thighs. Also the content would be so far away in that circumstance I would prefer it to be too close than too far. Yeah.
[59:29] Mike: But you can like full screen it I mean how how what so way. Wait wait wait but who who you really should buy an Apple vision pro. That's what this is going right? I mean that's that's what you need? Yeah yeah know I think you would get a lot of value for them.
[59:34] Keith: Have good eyes. Mike.
[59:39] Keith: Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe all right listeners if you want to send us $3500 that what it costs they sold out good.
[59:48] Mike: The the issue isn't the money. Actually it's that they sold out like you can't you can't oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't get them. There was a a funny there you go there was there was a funny video of some guy that I saw of some guy who got an early one or something and he said.
[59:59] Keith: And so somebody walking down the street with one the other day.
[01:00:07] Mike: He just talked about how much he loved it and then like it's a close up on him using it and then they zoom out and there's just a bunch ofleex behind him just clearly just beating off which I is the truth. Yeah, it's the truth of that device.
[01:00:15] Keith: That's good. That's good. That's good I Don't think I need more immersive content like I feel like I've gotten used to my computer screen and my laptop screen but who knows like I didn't love wearing the oculus for porn.
[01:00:25] Mike: Um, if I was a billionaire.
[01:00:31] Mike: It was. It's It's pretty heavy. That's the thing. Yeah, the yeah if I was a billionaire I might consider giving a bunch of these devices to homeless men and be kind of funny. Oh there'd just be men everywhere on the streets beating off to them.
[01:00:33] Keith: Although I never tried to actually masturbate because you were you were in the room with me. Um.
[01:00:42] Keith: Thinking that it would what I mean that's already if you walk down Mission street.
[01:00:50] Mike: Be much much funnier if they all had oculus is on or or Apple Vision pros on it just be like it would just be a really funny like that sort of zombie land thing. Yeah yes.
[01:00:58] Keith: Yeah, dystopian the future all right, that'll do it for this episode of your biage may vary. You can send us feedback or questions to ymmvpod at Gmail.com that's ymmvpod at Gmail.com we pay $10 for any and all feedback received so give us your payment. Platform of choice cash out Paypal whatever. And yeah, we pay $10 for feedback. Thanks for listening to the show and we will catch you next week on your mileage may vary.