Your Mileage May Vary: The Three Sevens Club, Surreptitious Snaps, Sex Or Fleshlight, Size Frustration

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial but mostly in good faith. We have a bunch of fun topics today including a man agonizing about his small penis a woman who was videoed during sex without her consent.
[00:17] Mike: Oh.
[00:19] Keith: A man who is a little too into masturbation aides and more I am Keith my co-host and is Mike and Mike are you hunkering down for the incoming snowstorm.
[00:27] Mike: Yeah I'm up in the Lake tahoe area because I came up here for the blizzard. That's supposedly coming in because I like to I like it when everything gets white I like everything to be white white white white.
[00:38] Keith: Right? I I see you rebranded us as the unwoke. The Anti-woke Unwoke What is it? What is the rebrand.
[00:44] Mike: No no note I put non woke sex podcast because Antiw woke actually has sort of an a pejorative meaning because there's there's these sort of they're nutters on both sides right? This is just like look. We're going to give you this straight dobe and we're not going to like you know the typical things we talk about on the show where there are these folks who pretend like everything is the same. You know oh look if you're.
[00:51] Keith: Right? right.
[01:03] Mike: Gay Lesbian or straight those are identical and it's like no, they're not most people are straight so that to me that's sort of non woke.
[01:07] Keith: Right? right? Okay, um, fair enough. Yeah, all right? So it's raining here in San Francisco so it should be snowing here soon but enough of the weather talk um you send me this thing from the sugar lifestyle forum subreddit about. A sugar baby who was digging through her sugar Daddy's phone and she had well she says what I found was disgusting so she says ah my my sugar daddy picked me up and we drove to his home had an okay evening watch Youtube and ate pizza. But came to the sex part this man all of a sudden pretended to be drunk and believe me when I say he's the worst actor ever a few seconds before he was speaking very clearly and all of a sudden he started to slur touch his head as if he had a headache etc it was so embarrassing to watch and then she says obviously he wanted to have an excuse for later on for being so bad in bed. Like sorry I was drunk after we finished she was sober all of a sudden and spoke very clearly again. Wow I she doesn't say anything more about the sex. But I I don't I don't know if I trust her read there. Do you have any thoughts on that before I continue to the meat of her post.
[02:19] Mike: Yeah, that 1 reminded me a little bit so I I became aware just this last week actually from a mutual friend of the show that a lot of guys sort of in their forty s fifty s use erectile like Viagra and stuff like that to have sex. Ah, that this is like more common than I was aware of ah and maybe it's that maybe basically yeah, no, this wasn't this is all anneic data which is the best kind of data. Um, and so no, but well look. But.
[02:41] Keith: How come and did this person have any statistics. Okay.
[02:54] Mike: It surprised me even that he would sort of know people who were openly saying yeah man I pop a viagra if I think I'm going to get laid that surprised me and I think it has to do with like sort of health status like like I don't I think we're both pretty healthy guys. So we don't have these erectile dysfunction issues or whatever you want to call it.
[03:00] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[03:09] Keith: Um, could be could be.
[03:10] Mike: And oh I sorry I did look up stats and the the rate of erectile Dysfunction when you're like 40 is surprisingly high. Um, well they would do surveys right.
[03:14] Keith: Well, how do you even know what the rate is yeah but like if you only survey you know with a small set of people you might yeah I guess.
[03:29] Mike: That's how Surveys work I'm not finding it I'm not finding it immediately online. But if you look around. It's it's it's it was a surprisingly high percentage actually sort of worried me I was like Wow is this going to happen to me like and I mean I think it's.
[03:32] Keith: Don't know what I was thinking there.
[03:42] Keith: I'm guessing it just correlates with like blood pressure or cholesterol or something age of course. But but those things correlate with age. So.
[03:47] Mike: I think so I mean I'm sure there's some genetic element right? Okay here I have some stats a 53 to 59 years old ah let's see 25% of men rate their sexual function as fair poor or very poor. Ah, by 6 60 to 69, you're up to 50% a fair poor very poor 70 to 79 it's 75%. So basically this comes and gets everybody at some point but I was just surprised at the 50 through to 59 demographic that that surprised me a little bit. Yeah.
[04:16] Keith: Right? Yeah, 1 wonders if there's a chicken and egg thing there you know maybe doctors are motivated or incentivized to prescribe various ed treatments and so maybe at the I don't know.
[04:30] Mike: And. The well. But that might be what's going on right? Maybe the guy took some med to help him perform or something and then he actually was acting goofy because it could be something. Yeah I mean somebody doing a so simulation of being drunk sounds like maybe they took a drug right? You know something? That's that pretty yeah.
[04:35] Keith: Um, no idea. Um.
[04:49] Keith: Who knows she doesn't even say whether he was bad just that he anyway let's move on now. This was yeah now this wasn't even the worst part this man had no password on his iphone since he was very suspicious I did what I what everyone would have done well while he went.
[04:54] Mike: Her interpretation is crazy. Yeah.
[05:06] Mike: Of course. Yeah.
[05:09] Keith: He went to the bathroom I took his phone and went through his whatsapp. Ah first chat this means the first chat she found he had secretly taken a photo of me sitting on his couch and sent it to one of his homies titling Daddy Got some Caribbean tonight I'm not even Caribbean but rather mixed. Okay so he sent. His friend ah a racist thing about her second chat he told another sugar baby that he was with a male friend tonight while he was with me so he couldn't make it to her quickly took some screenshots sent them to myself and deleted the messages on his end so he wouldn't notice. Damn. I know I should have not violated his privacy but seriously I don't feel guilty at all taking a photo of me without my consent is simply wild. Did they have hidden cameras in his bedroom. Also next time I'll check next time she's going to go see him Again. He drove me back home and I never talked to him again.
[05:56] Mike: So.
[06:00] Keith: The weirdest experience I ever had but 1 of the biggest red flags for sure. So I mean look there's a lot of problems here. The first thing is she went to his house and had pizza like that was their date like that's not that doesn't feel very sugar daddy ask and then fine fine.
[06:12] Mike: Well, it's just closer to the escort end of the spectrum. That's all.
[06:19] Keith: But why is she digging through his phone then like what is she hoping to find.
[06:25] Mike: Yeah, it's strange right? It's like I mean obviously evidence maybe that that he's some bad behavior or something like that which she I think found although I'm not entirely sure I agree that his comment is racist if he's basically saying that he if is it racist for me to say I like people of a certain race or ethnicity is that racist.
[06:43] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yes, and I think that um nine out of 10 people on the left would describe this as racist. Um I agree that the definition of what is racist is complicated but in this case I think.
[06:44] Mike: He seems to me positive right? He's like look this this is this is great I love and he's just describing her or trying to.
[07:01] Keith: They would say Daddy got some caribbean tonight is it is implying that there's something pejorative about stating it that way. There's an implication.
[07:13] Mike: You think because to me it's like the impate well it could be sexist. This just isn't that interesting but I don't I think it's only positive. It's like hey I got this high end thing right? It's like'd be like if ah daddy got this what? whatever insert your blonde Blon Daddy got a blonde.
[07:22] Keith: Right.
[07:28] Keith: Blond.
[07:30] Mike: Well, that's because he likes blonts not because he he hates them but what? Ok um, it's a little odd her behavior and I I Also don't think that I'm not sure what a woman wants in this situation like she wants him to treat her she she wants a B F E she wants a boyfriend experience I guess.
[07:33] Keith: Yeah.
[07:47] Keith: Yeah, it seems like it. Yeah like she seems annoyed that he has another sugar baby but based on her stated facts which is that she like went over to his house to have pizza and sex I don't.
[07:49] Mike: Right? She wants to yeah.
[08:06] Keith: Think it should be too terribly surprising that there's another sugar baby now maybe in their conversations. He said that he was single and not seeing anyone else but she doesn't say that and I think she would based on the way she's trying to litigate this entire thing.
[08:21] Mike: Yeah I mean there's ah, there's an overlap between this one and one of our favorite topics which is the bachelor I Assume you're watching the bachelor eagerly every episode that comes out right now.
[08:32] Keith: I'm not I watch the bachelor and or the bachelorette when I have a partner but I haven't had a partner for a long time now. So I haven't haven't settled in to watch the season but you do and so you've been watching.
[08:36] Mike: Yeah.
[08:43] Mike: Huh. I just find it entertaining. Although it's it's very very very formulaic but 1 of the things that's been going on this season and this happens commonly. So I think you'll be able to understand see it is the women go on the show. They know what it's not a trick they know what the show's about they know that this man's going to be. Kissing lots of women in front of them and they're going to all be trying to date him I assume you know if this is even assuming they're not just trying to get careers in hollywood hollywood they want to actually marry the guy some of them may in any event they're having like nervous breakdowns because they have to see him kissing other women. So. It's basically they're unable to override. This basic programming of jealousy in their in their brain and this could be the same thing right? It's like you signed up as a sugar baby and yet you're still jealous right? I mean that's at core what this is right.
[09:28] Keith: Yeah, yeah, it's sort of confusing I don't think she has any moral standing to be upset about that now she can be emotionally upset about it but she shouldn't be like doxing him on Reddit saying like oh what a scumbag this guy is like. If you haven't discussed monogamy then you should assume they're not um.
[09:53] Mike: Right? I mean if now if she if he paid her and counterfeit bills. Ah that would be reasonable. Ah, the pizza. The pizza might be a thing to say hey look this is not up to snuff. But I mean right I mean like but he was there to have sex with an attractive woman. So that's what happened and he's just proud of it.
[10:03] Keith: He got um, nose. Yeah.
[10:11] Mike: Um, ok if he was sending out and I don't know if she was nude in the pictures I'm not sure about that if she if he was doing sort of like involuntary porn. That's a little different. Yeah yeah, then I don't I Actually think that's almost zero problematic. It's I mean the statement he made is a little crass but.
[10:15] Keith: No, she was not. He took a picture of them.
[10:28] Mike: I mean she probably is on a website. Her pictures are on a website so it's not really that strange.
[10:32] Keith: Yeah, let me think about that if I were on a date and a woman took a picture of me and sent it to their friends and said Mama got me some whitey tonight for some honky tonight or like.
[10:48] Mike: Yeah.
[10:51] Keith: You know some pejorative about white people would I be I think I mean look it's It's different for men. But yeah I think I would be very flattered if she was like boastfully sending pictures of me around.
[10:53] Mike: Yeah.
[11:03] Mike: What if what if it was a a what if it was a a latino woman and she said Mama got me a colonizer I'm just trying to make it as close because then you actually have like there is some some some charge around that right? your oh your evil there so it like would that bother you.
[11:13] Keith: Um, yeah.
[11:18] Keith: I I think the ego boost from her even caring to share would would overwhelm any negative thing. But maybe that's just my white privilege I'm not sure like I don't have the experience of feeling afflicted generally and so I'm not sensitive around that in the way that.
[11:22] Mike: Um, yeah.
[11:28] Mike: Yeah I hear you.
[11:37] Mike: Yeah I mean I think generally this is it's so it's tricky I mean I think this is one of the reasons why there's a slippery slope between sugaring and escorting and being in a brothel or something like that is that it's how much rapport you can get with the guy and.
[11:38] Keith: Other people may.
[11:54] Mike: I think I think what women really should and and probably are going for in sugar situations is something sort of monogamous with the guy like they yeah I think that's the right thing for a woman to go for and so she could be upset then it's just they they should have had a conversation like hey we're We're not going to go to pizza. We're going to go to a nice restaurant. We're going to sort of act like we're you know we're we're going to date.
[12:06] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[12:12] Mike: And the date dates you know were dating and you pay me money and to to compensate for the age difference and stuff that that to me is what I think she should want. But yeah.
[12:19] Keith: Yeah I think this dance ah between what is being a sugar baby versus being a callg girl or an escort or a prostitute are it's sort of complicated and I think a lot of people in the sugar bowl as they call it don't. Really have clear communication around that and so expectations I think often get violated now. There are inbounds violations and out of bounds violations. Um, but I don't think this guy necessarily notwithstanding his somewhat racist message to his friend. Ah, and taking a picture of her without her consent I yeah I don't think those I think those are fouls but I don't think they're you know more than six out of 10 or whatever like they're not massive violations that she should have like ran to Reddit to say what she found was disgusting.
[13:06] Mike: Sure.
[13:15] Mike: I think ah yeah I think there's a lot of these kind of ah 2 2 side of the coin things that women face recently I was in a Costco and there was a woman in there who had a low cut shirt on that was very it was it was revealing a lot of her breasts.
[13:31] Keith: Say more.
[13:33] Mike: And she was well I mean she was just attractive young and she she was she appeared to be dressed in such a manner that she wanted to she was she has She was a tri you know that she wanted it I think the only reasonable way to interpret. It is people but she wanted people to look just like if you had a guy who was weightlifter and he had ah you Know. Sleeveless shirt on or something so you could see his muscles right? It's like the same kind of deal. Um, okay, but then she but then she was sort of giving people dirty looks not to me I was I was sort of I wasn't paying much attention but I saw a couple guys look at her and then she sort of looked at them in this way and then she tugged up on the shirt a couple times.
[13:53] Keith: But that's just maybe that was just a comfortable desktop.
[14:10] Keith: Mm.
[14:10] Mike: And I thought to myself What what does she want? What does she actually want to have happen here. So I guess the the sort of ah standard I Guess Gen Z thing would say was oh this is a comfortable This is comfortable. It's like it's like the yoga pants at the gym thing. Oh this is just comfortable. So what if it reveals the exact contours of my vulva.
[14:12] Keith: Right.
[14:29] Mike: It's comfortable but I and if that's true. Ok, but I actually don't believe them I think that's not true I think they're wearing it because they want that attention. But then when it happens like they want what they want is like some sort of clicker where they can control What guy gives them attention and what guy doesn't or something. Yeah.
[14:42] Keith: yes yes I often complain to female friends that um, it's hard for me to get people to agree to come come on a first date and they're all just like.
[14:56] Keith: Incredulous about that. They're like oh you're you know you're you're so great but something something something. But yeah, like the the male experience of getting any attention is so unusual. So like if this if the analogous man here which is you know, somebody in like ah, a tank top is being. You know, oggled at by by women. They're not. Really bothered even if the women are unattractive. But yeah when women are being ogled. Yeah, like they they want to be oggled by Bradley Cooper and um I don't know who are the and Ryan Reynolds but if if it's not those 2 then you know. So these are just men being disgusting and you know I don't know it's women can wear whatever they want. But I'm not sure they can. Be surprised by the reaction. They can be disappointed by the reaction and the effect it has on men but I don't know if they should be surprised by it.
[15:53] Mike: Yeah, but I don't even yeah I don't even think that makes sense if I wore a cod piece or something that revealed just like my left testicle I know what reaction I would get and I don't know why is it fair for me to be surprised and the thing is I could do that right? I could in principle do that particularly in San Francisco I could do that. And I get a lot of attention. not not beyond it would be untoward the attention but I don't because I don't want that attention and I don't understand why can't they apply the same logic.
[16:20] Keith: Yeah I as you know I mostly run with no shirt on and I actually sort of enjoy running through the Castro which is the gay neighborhood in San Francisco and getting cat called. It's sort of a nice ego boost. It would be nice if there was like a. Heterosexual female area of the city like if I could run through the marina and all the women on the sidewalk would cheer for me but that.
[16:43] Mike: That would never happen. Would you have what is the most aggressive thing you've had a man a gay man do as you ran past I like you ever had 1 pull his penis out.
[16:54] Keith: No I got smacked on the ass two weeks ago did I not tell you about this I think I didn't tell you about this? Yeah I was running through the castro and I got actually smacked on the asses I ran by somebody. Yeah, but yeah.
[16:58] Mike: No.
[17:07] Mike: Um, hu you're sure it was a man. Okay, okay I'm just checking I mean because if it was a woman that would be really really unusual.
[17:13] Keith: Now I shouted at him like not cool as I kept running and then he like whistled I don't know the sidewalk. Oh sure.
[17:19] Mike: Yeah, he doesn't care hey you were invading his territory. So the the castro everybody look this is a worldwide. Well-known phenomenon if you're in the Castro I think you have to look when in Rome you know.
[17:34] Keith: Yeah, you're that the male gaze is going to get a little Gropey in that neighborhood.
[17:39] Mike: Yeah I think yeah I think it's unreasonable to expect some totally different standard behavior.
[17:47] Keith: Right? Um, all right? Let's take on this small penis guy. So this guy he's a 36 year old male and his girlfriend is 34 he says I overheard my girlfriend tell her friend what she really thinks about her sex life.
[17:50] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[18:03] Keith: I've never been someone that worried about my endowment I know that I am average and that has always been okay with me recently though I overheard my girlfriend tell her best friend that his penis is small or average I Guess I'm just used to bigger ones. But it's okay because he goes down on me all the time and quote this was a few months ago and I haven't been able to get it. Out of my head I told her I overheard her say that and we have talked about it. She has reassured me that I'm Fine. No, you're fine and she tells tells me she loves my penis and that it's quote perfect for her. She's even started to compliment it when we have sex but I can't bring myself to believe her. To Me. She's just trying to stroke my ego or say these things to make me think she doesn't feel that way but that conversation was had when she didn't think it I was in earshot that was her speaking truthfully to her friend without fear of how it would affect me so I can't believe her when she says otherwise I don't have an issue with her sexual past I'm not one of those guys. But for me, it's the but it's okay, part. She's saying she isn't satisfied with my penis but can tolerate it because I go down on her won't that get old for her day I Really like her and I was seriously contemplating marrying her but I can't shake this feeling that I'm not going to be enough for her I didn't know my confidence in myself could be affected so entirely with this one little comment.
[18:59] Mike: Yes.
[19:14] Keith: Not looking for any penis size advice or responses that has been done a million times but I want to know if I'm reading too much into this or is this a serious issue I should be worried about. Um yeah I mean I mean here's the thing I think all men.
[19:23] Mike: Well, it's an issue for him.
[19:34] Keith: Of you know a certain ah Iq no like what percentile their penis length is um, just most men at some point measure their penis and then like look up the charts to see where they fall. Do you think that's wrong.
[19:41] Mike: Oh okay.
[19:51] Mike: I Don't know the specific percentile I was looking up I I do know this that so you know there's um, there's that now I have that's the thing and probably I mean it's a little. Yeah, it's I know that like it doesn't take much to go up a lot of percentile because.
[19:54] Keith: No, no, no no, you don't know the percentile. You definitely know what percentile you fall on. Maybe you don't know the exact number but you've looked it up in the past right.
[20:09] Mike: The truth is that penises are kind of there isn't a huge variance the um that you know there's that thing of that a women want a man that's got the three sixes a six foot tall six inch penis and 6 figure income. No, it's not um and.
[20:09] Keith: Yeah, they're all clustered around the main. Yeah.
[20:21] Keith: Oh I thought it was 6 pack abs. Okay.
[20:27] Mike: Yeah I mean I like my main thing one of my things in life is to be have the 3 seven s but I don't I'm not so I'm not seven feet tall but other than that other than that it's totally doable. Um, okay so so the ah yeah I don't know my I think my percentile is.
[20:35] Keith: Yeah I think it's shaquill O'neil there. Ah.
[20:46] Mike: High but that's just because of the low dispersion of penis size. It's not like like so if you add point 1 of an inch you know you go up like 10 percentile points or something so it's sort of stupid. Yeah.
[20:55] Keith: Right? It depends right? I mean the reason why I bring that up is okay, let's say for example, this man is twenty fifth percentile shouldn't he know that and have already gone through this agonizing.
[21:05] Mike: M.
[21:13] Mike: I don't I think that the problem is that there is some percentage of women for whom this would be an issue and he will never ever be able to know whether she's telling the truth about whether it's an issue for her or not and it's all it. There's also this question of what does it mean for it to be an issue. Yeah, but she's going to lie.
[21:21] Keith: Um, yes.
[21:28] Keith: He could ask her he could ask her well he well she should lie to him. This guy is clearly very wrapped up about it. But if he came to her like hat in hand and said like hey ah I know that my penis is a twenty fifth percentile penis. Um.
[21:31] Mike: She will definitely lie.
[21:44] Keith: And I suspect you wish it was bigger. Do you think like let's let's let's you know, be honest here like do you think that this is something that's going to bother you for ah for a while like you can imagine a woman with like I mean. For women, there's the option for boob surgery right? But like let's say you're dating somebody with a cups like women have to go you know women who don't have large chests have to go through this experience. You know, very early in life right? like the experience of being like huh. Yeah I am a bit or way. Below the mean here you know I'm at the tenth percentile breast size that sucks I feel insecure about it I don't love it like probably my partners would rather I had larger ones but there are some men who like just don't really care about boobs that much and then that there are some men that after you know 5 years of that are going to like really start having a wandering eye.
[22:32] Mike: Right.
[22:40] Keith: And having a conversation about that. Maybe everyone would just lie I don't know.
[22:44] Mike: Look I I I was trying to think as you were talking. What is a more Beta thing a guy could say than like hey look I know my penis is small but is it too small for you like that's so just even even like quite a right quite apart from whether she'll.
[22:55] Keith: Ah, right right? Yeah, it's pretty bad I know Yeah, even the conversation.
[23:03] Mike: Right? Whether she she may lie but it's not just that like if if if she was thinking hey this guy's like a 7 out of 10 for me like he just dropped to a 6.5 or something just because of the conversation because he's shown such insecurity there. The other thing I would say is that breast size the the problem that the guy has here is that your penis does actually matter.
[23:09] Keith: Right? right? right.
[23:22] Mike: To the woman's sexual experience in a way I mean okay breasts matter like visually but this is more like it. It performed like I could I can see like a woman. Yeah.
[23:30] Keith: Um I don't know is that true like I think I think if your penis is like tenth percentile you start having problems but you know the way that women get sexual satisfaction from PIV is
[23:45] Keith: Ah, for some people who you know these these quote unquote size queens. It's probably like how deep it reaches. But for I think for most women, it's like yeah, do you like probably being skinny matters more than penis length so that you can you know, get contact on the clit.
[24:01] Mike: Sure but there's going to be ah, a diversity among women of what they care about physically as well as sight wise or whatever like what what you look like but I hear I'm talking physically and it is believable to me that you could have a problem where a situation where the woman.
[24:04] Keith: Um, right.
[24:17] Mike: He might be with I mean the fact that she's mentioning to her friend that he's small seems like maybe it matters to her like I think that would be difficult to.
[24:23] Keith: Yeah I mean it it means yeah it there's really no good interpretation of that either. She thinks it and it bothers her. Um, That's why she was telling her friend or she's like throwing her. Ah, she's throwing her boyfriend under the bus to the friend just to be mean and both are pretty concerning.
[24:45] Mike: the well the yeah the only the only positive spin I can take on it I can imagine is something like they're just having fun talking about it. She's like oh well, but then but I it's like I think in most situations, a woman would say to her partner or to a female friend something like oh I don't know or like I haven't measured. It's normal. Right? So it must be pretty small for her to say that so there could be some actual like physical difference in terms of her experience. Yeah, it's I don't know man like it's today this is this is another reason why.
[25:11] Keith: Um, well she said it was small to medium.
[25:16] Keith: I Don't know either.
[25:21] Mike: Ah, women with higher body counts. It's a challenge because it means that they're more likely to have experienced ah different sizes and I mean I can't tell you how many women I've gotten emails from that I had sex with in the past that are like look ever since you I've just nobody's big enough. Well just the size thing.
[25:33] Keith: I Just can't get you out of my mind right? right? right.
[25:38] Mike: Let me let me ask you this because I heard this on a different podcast and I thought you might enjoy this. Do you have you looked at any of these one of these lists of shortest and longest penises by country. Okay, do you have I mean any like sort of guesses as to what the shortest penises are.
[25:47] Keith: No.
[25:56] Mike: Country like what if you had if you had to guess what country has the shortest. There's like a top ten I don't want to do all that but like let's see if you can get close. Maybe maybe name 4 countries you think are in the top 10 lowest see how close you can get why? Okay, what region of the world.
[26:04] Keith: No, there's no I I'm afraid no.
[26:14] Keith: Um, no, we don't We don't yet Gp D will not speculate on this.
[26:15] Mike: You won't even do that I could ask chat GpT ah well
[26:23] Mike: That's true. Okay, um, well let me give you one 1 interesting tidbit. Yeah the claim is that the average penis size in South Korea is larger by like half an inch than North Korea just kind of funny.
[26:28] Keith: I Kind of would ask Jet Gp T though. Ah.
[26:37] Keith: Whoa Does nutrition matter for penis growth.
[26:39] Mike: Um, maybe maybe okay, do you want to do the law. Okay, so I'll just fine I'll just tell people the smallest I mean these are very minute distinctions. But we're down at like three point seven inches Thailand North Korea Cambodia Nepal Myanmar Laos Vietnam are using a pattern in the locations.
[26:58] Keith: Ah yes I asked Shut Jp T What region of the world has the shortest penises and it replies Tersely I'm sorry but I can't provide assistance with that request. Why not.
[27:06] Mike: Okay, maybe it so what do you think? can you guess what region of the world would have the largest penises going to guess you'll refuse to do that too. Ok, it looks to be split between kind of the northern part of South America so Ecuador Colombia.
[27:13] Keith: I Yeah pass.
[27:24] Mike: And Africa so Sudan congo Ghana Nigeria Venezuela is also you know South america so and and then there's also Lebanon which is an outlier I'm not sure where that comes from so there's obviously some maybe a nutrition thing and I'm guessing it's just death ethnicity pardon. Yeah.
[27:24] Keith: Ah.
[27:37] Keith: Um, they're all close to the equator. They're all close to the equator.
[27:43] Mike: Ah, could yeah it could be maybe there's some well so is Thailand though right? So I'm going to guess that it's just there's some some genetic advantage that it convert conferred in various environments or something that's a pretty significant difference though.
[27:45] Keith: Yeah, true true.
[27:59] Mike: Ah, the the smallest average 3 point 7 to the largest average of seven inches I didn't tell you what the law but in Sudan apparently it's seven inches of course I'm not sure if they get good data in Sudan um, but that's sort of that's sort of surprising that the average by country could be double almost from one country to the next and I have um i.
[28:14] Keith: Um, yeah, that's pretty wild. My.
[28:17] Mike: I have read and heard things on Reddit tiktok stuff like that from escorts who say that like there is substantial ethnic component to the size and I'm not sure why they would lie about that.
[28:27] Keith: Well, it sounds like I'm just surprised that. Um, okay so there's that big difference between south and North Korea right half an inch which is substantial ah which implies that like nutrition has something to do with.
[28:37] Mike: Yes.
[28:45] Keith: Penis length. Um, we know that nutrition has something to do with height. So it's not terribly surprising that it correlates with penis length as well. But 1 wonders what the average penis length in Sudan would be if there were no malnutrition there.
[28:59] Mike: If yeah, if that's a factor if you got another half inch you'd be at seven and a half inches I think this also helps explain why ah could be yeah this helps explain why president Trump was so eager to go into North Korea sort of improve improve his odds there.
[29:02] Keith: Yeah, but if it's the same ratio. It's it would be like eight inches
[29:15] Mike: Oh.
[29:15] Keith: Right? right? Um I had something else to say about this guy with a small penis I don't remember oh I remember so if there were a reliable surgery to add an inch.
[29:25] Mike: It's going to be a problem for their whole relationship. That's the thing go on. Yeah.
[29:33] Keith: To penis length like there is for women to add um volume to their bust line what percentage of men. Do you think would get that surgery I think I think like basically every man not every but every man who's like you know thirty fifth percentile or shorter and then. As it as people's penises got longer. They would ah opt for the surgery less. But yeah I think it would be a very popular surgery more so than breast augmentation is.
[30:04] Mike: Um I think it's tricky you think? So yeah, it's tricky to me because I mean I think one of your stipulations is has to be here that it has no risks I mean I like it's I Actually ah talk to a family member who's yeah.
[30:15] Keith: Right? Or risks I mean just just to make it apples to apples say it cost around the same as breast augmentation and had the same risk so you know like I think it could help it can mess up breastfeeding in certain certain cases and ah women can get back issues. And sometimes the silicone or saline bags have have issues but you know so there is like an issue rate that that happens with breast augmentation. But but say the cost and and it ends issue slash side effect rate is around the same as it is for breast augmentation.
[30:32] Mike: I would be worried about.
[30:48] Mike: I was worried about ah ah, brown and in breast implants I mean there's a substantial risk of with nipple sensitivity also because it's it's tricky to kind of keep those nerve bundles intact Apparently um, and I think for a guy that would be even more concerning because.
[30:58] Keith: Ah, apparently.
[31:04] Mike: You know if you take the risk. It's It's like um I heard recently that ah I have not researched this at all. But there's some amount of correlation between getting lasix surgery and mental health issues because if you have a bad laix surgery. It's basically destroys your life. Ah bad meaning like Blurry or there's like glare.
[31:19] Keith: Um.
[31:22] Keith: B yeah.
[31:22] Mike: In your eye all the time ah and something like that. So even if it was like look let's say ah to make it more realistic. Ah guaranteed 1 extranch on your penis but 1% or point one percent chance that you can't get an erection ever again or you have no sensitivity in your penis head.
[31:35] Keith: No I know I don't want to frame it that way I want to frame it so that it's exactly the same and it's analogous as to what it is for women so women elect to get breast surgery on Mike women agree to get breast augmentation surgery because they think that dials up their attractiveness to the other sex and it.
[31:42] Mike: Ah, okay, but when you lose nipple sensitivity all right.
[31:51] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[31:54] Keith: Can have some mild side effects on their ability to enjoy sex Nipple sensitivity isn't that important in sexual satisfaction It it is for more for some women than it is for others but it's a fairly mild thing. So like I don't want you to say like oh the tip of your penis is now desensitized and you can't orgasm like that's not I want like an apples to apples comparison here.
[32:01] Mike: Okay.
[32:12] Mike: Um.
[32:14] Keith: And my claim is that if it were apples to apples like men would get penis augmentation at like some massive increased rate then women get breast augmentation I thought you might be going there.
[32:21] Mike: Yeah, my guess is no on that I don't think so because it's less visible. Yeah I think it's less visible for for somebody. That's got a micro penis sure like if there was something you could do to take it from one inch to six inches absolutely somebody used four inches to get to 5 or 6 I'm skeptical that a guy would undergo it just because it. Doesn't actually matter that money. Yeah, they would some they would some in in cases like this where it appears to be important. But I just think the thing with breasts is that it's visible outside of clothing. Yes, yeah, and I so there.
[32:47] Keith: Yeah, um, yeah, it affects their life. All of the time and penis like only only really affects men who probably sleep with lots of different partners.
[32:59] Mike: Yeah I've never seen data on this but Iis I I'd be positive I'd be very surprised if within certain industries women don't make more money and and not just you know waitressing like in you know I bet you in marketing or in sales like there're these yeah Okay, okay.
[33:11] Keith: No, it's these things are documented like isn't it something like 60% of fortune five hundred ceos are like six feet tall
[33:21] Mike: Well, that was the other thing I was going to say is I think if you could offer a man anything men would pick height. They would heighten before they would do penis because that yeah.
[33:31] Keith: Ah, that we know they would do it because there is currently ways you could do that. It's extremely painful and quite risky and men do it anyway. The height the height augmentation. Yeah, they'd like have to break your bones and like slowly stretch them. It's awful.
[33:37] Mike: Not many but sure sure yeah I know that doesn't sound great. Yeah I mean heightening is tricky.
[33:47] Keith: Yeah.
[33:51] Mike: That's what women care about they want that six feet six figure or I guess seven feet 7 figures seven inches what they really want. Yes.
[33:53] Keith: All right in your case, right? All right? Let's move on. Ah this girl reports guy filmed me during sex without asking me I don't know what to do I'm Scared. He's going to publish it somewhere this guy I had sex with last night was filming the sex the entire time and I'm so anxious since I regret having sex with him. He was so weird the entire time and kind of aggressive. Also said I made his dream come true because I have the body type of a teenage girl from high school and he always wanted to fuck them I just turned 23 recently and he is 30 what can I do because I know telling him to delete them and then he would say okay and lie that he deleted them I've known him.
[34:28] Mike: Um, you don't want to talk about the teenage part.
[34:31] Keith: I've known him since 3 years but had no idea he was like this I think she means she's known him 4 three years she has a couple preposition things that imp play. Yeah esl. Um, okay I I don't want to address the like um creepiness here.
[34:35] Mike: Yes.
[34:45] Mike: The most interesting part? yeah.
[34:48] Keith: Ah, what I want to address is like ok, let's say that somebody has nudes of you and ah yeah, let's now let's say you're a woman and you know this man that you were seeing has some nudes or some videos of you and you would like him to delete them. We've talked about this a bit before.
[34:54] Mike: As a man. Ok.
[35:08] Keith: But like her options are sort of limited here like in the comments like here's the first comment I mean first of all, do not sleep with this person again. Did he have your consent to film. It would be worth sending him a text stating that you do not consent to the video being distributed in any way. Just so that if he does you have legal documentation and then block him I think that is terrible advice I think that is a great way to incentivize him to share the video in every way right? like like if you come at somebody and start blaming them for something that they probably weren't going to do in the first place like that's but that's a strategy I just think that's risky like what can she do to mitigate her risk here to best mitigate her risk.
[35:50] Mike: There's a couple things I would say one is you know how? ah the whole theory behind ah bitcoin and Cryptocurrency is the blockchain which is a an immutable permanent ledger. Um, the right way for women to think about this is that when a man videos or.
[35:58] Keith: Um, yes, um.
[36:05] Mike: Takes a picture of you naked or fucking it goes into the blockchain. It's never getting deleted like he'll say it's deleted. It's not he will. He's yeah he might put it in a safe deposit box on a Usb stick or something but it's not getting deleted. Okay, so that's the first thing so it's just all, you're going to do is get him to lie to you if you unless you like.
[36:11] Keith: Right? right.
[36:25] Mike: Can get his phone and get him to delete it in front of you before he has time to put it in the blockchain. But once he's had any time by himself in the bathroom anything like that. You just assume it's been uploaded to the universal blockchain. Yes.
[36:35] Keith: Um I I I agree that is the correct assumption I have actually permanently deleted nudes I have of X's um, so right right.
[36:44] Mike: Sure you have.
[36:51] Mike: You're like you didn't you left out the by accident part you you did it but you didn't mean to you're saying that you intentionally right? Yes, Okay so fine Look I'm not saying that it never happens I'm saying the right assumption. Yeah.
[36:52] Keith: Um, so first there was an emergency at my at my data storage facility. Ah, it's non zero but it rounds to 0 and the correct assumption is is is that I agree but like yeah.
[37:08] Mike: Yes, yeah, and I think.
[37:11] Keith: Like even that is okay like you might not like your ex having nude pictures of you But what? what? the real concern is that they get released to the wild.
[37:19] Mike: Yeah I mean I think that he like I think in most cases, a guy wouldn't do revenge porn because it's so stigmatized and I think there are laws against it in a lot of places too. Um, and think about it. It's It's a really bad decision because then if if somehow it gets found out that you've been doing this then every company everywhere has like.
[37:28] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[37:38] Mike: Women working in HR and stuff and you'll just never get a job like it's not, you're putting yourself on some weird blacklist. So I think the right thing for her to do is just nothing. He's not yes, he will be beating off to that video like 10 years from now you just have to accept that and we like oh yeah I remember that video.
[37:51] Keith: Um, there's nothing she could say I have had the experience where um I mean I can't believe how cavalierly people share photos sometimes like I've matched with people on like bumble or Tinder and. Before we've even met sometimes they'll send like racy photos and.
[38:15] Mike: Do you want to say what the most racy thing you've received as like not just just general like what? Ah what is the most racy thing they would show ah would it be all the way up to like a dildo penetrating them or something or we were naked like where what level have you seen here when that when it's being sent to you.
[38:27] Keith: It's really hard to yeah, it's not easy to quantify these things in my mind because for starters, a lot of times when you match with somebody. It's actually just a marketing account to drive you to their only fans and so in that case, they obviously don't care but then sometimes it's because.
[38:30] Mike: Okay.
[38:39] Mike: Got it right.
[38:45] Keith: Yeah, like maybe they also do that and so like they're really comfortable sharing nudes or maybe they're just not really functional people and so they're being too cavalier with with sharing their nudes but I have gone I have had the experience where somebody has messaged me after we've decided not to see each other. And they'll be like hey please delete the nudes that you have of me and my knee jerk reaction to that is always kind of like fuck you. That's not for you to decide like it's like just her mentioning.
[39:07] Mike: Right.
[39:18] Mike: Hell.
[39:21] Keith: That she'd like me delete it I think makes me less delight likely to actually delete it. Um, and so it does it does like if it's someone that like yeah, it's tricky so I wanted to ideate around like what can someone do.
[39:27] Mike: That's interesting. It depends on what's going on probably right in the relationship. Yeah.
[39:40] Keith: To make someone have the opposite reaction of whatever my knee jerk reaction. There is like hey I feel I feel a bit exposed with you I feel a bit exposed about the nudes I sent you of course it's your it's your call but I but it would um it would make me feel more comfortable if you got rid of them.
[39:43] Mike: I Think it's I Just yeah.
[39:59] Keith: I Don't know like ah I I don't know I think I would I think I would receive a text like that better than the like demand that I delete them.
[40:01] Mike: I I I think the only reason why you've deleted things like that before is because of your personality I think there's a personality type but just wouldn't yeah.
[40:11] Keith: So I I agree I agree but like I don't okay, you so so you're taking the position. there's there's 0% chance of of her anything. She's saying having an energy effect and so the discussion is is academic.
[40:26] Mike: He might not think about it like maybe you wouldn't think about it unless you were asked. So maybe maybe just causing the person. The problem is that that might increase the chance that something else happens like him distributing them right.
[40:36] Keith: Right? It might increase the chance of revenge porn or distributing it Yes, like reminding him that that they exist like he might not even go ahead.
[40:43] Mike: This is also this is also timebounded because in I don't know how many years I mean there was the flare up recently with after the super bowl with Taylor Swift and all the pretty not very good in my opinion content that was posted on Twitter kind of. Purport you know was fake. It was generated Ai right? Yes, and so there was that it wasn't great in my opinion. But that's only going to get better and so two things will happen one is you will have they you know there was a lot of.
[41:05] Keith: Um, your fake Ai generated nudes of Taylor Swift that were circling the wom. Yeah.
[41:20] Mike: Show of Force made by legislators about this. They can't do anything about it. There's no way to in in the long run stop that and right and secondly, um, so so yeah, so I guess so then it's at some time sometime frame. You'll be able to take a picture a clothed picture of any woman and basically have por of her. Okay and the secondly you have this issue of.
[41:23] Keith: So yeah, the gets out of the bag.
[41:38] Mike: The reality that then in that situation. All women have plausible deniability. She could say well this is just ai. This isn't this isn't me this isn't real and there'd be no way for somebody to prove whether it was real or not. So then it's it's sort of like who cares, they probably still care. But the reality is pretty soon. You'll just be able to say it was Ai.
[41:59] Keith: Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit ah like worrying about drunk driving. It's like well in 5 years everyone's going to be in automated driving cars. So this problem is going.
[42:07] Mike: Yeah, well that's that's but that's probably the time range I'm not sure what women would be worried about here. But I guess that's the time range they're afraid that they'll have a kid or want to get a job and then like we saw I think a question last week there was a woman who'd been on a sugaring on a sugaring site or something like that and then wanted to work as a teacher or no she maybe she'd been a cam girl. It's the same thing I mean you either at some point this just can't block people from jobs and so forth because ah, somebody could just create fake stuff with ai so I'm not sure. There's really anything to be worried about there it it's it's hard as a man to relate to though because men like there's no value to seeing my penis. It's.
[42:35] Keith: Right? Yeah, thank you.
[42:45] Mike: This and this general notion of people deriv value from seeing you have sex is weird. It's It's a little hard for a man to like relate to right.
[42:55] Keith: Well women get shamed for it more than men. So like when Jeff when the thing with Jeff Bezos came out and somebody was blackmailing him and said saying I'm going to share your nude photos. He was like go ahead. Um.
[43:09] Mike: I don't think it's just that I think an important part of it is that is that if a if a if a video like the Kim Kardashian sex tape which I'm sure. Ah, my understanding is she would participate in having that released but be that as a may a lot of guy then a lot of people are beating off to you. It's that right? It's not just like shaming. It's It's that it's going to circulate a lot kind of permanently in this weird way that it wouldn't happen with men because women's sexuality is just more valuable so that's it's a little hard to relate to as a man I don't know what that would be like like all these things are complicated for women women have to run around kind of hiding their bodies all the time because they're afraid.
[43:33] Keith: Sure Yeah I guess those are both true.
[43:45] Mike: I'm not really sure I mean they're afraid of something I Guess it's shaming. But maybe they're afraid of just guys beating off to them but they're going to beat off to you anyway. I'm not sure.
[43:50] Keith: Yeah, when the legislation about child porn. It's It's not actually called child porn anymore. Do you remember what the like new term for it is.
[44:04] Mike: I'm not I think you have the expertise in this area. So go ahead.
[44:08] Keith: Um, there was some legislation passed about notifying people whenever an image. So. There's this huge database of child pornography images and all of the major companies like meta and Twitter. And other social networks ah compare all uploaded photos to hashed versions of these of these porn ones of these child porn ones so that if if they get uploaded because I guess like the vast majority of child porn is like just recycled. It's not.
[44:33] Mike: Okay.
[44:40] Keith: There There is new content but a lot of it is just old content and so one way that you can attack. The problem is to compare it to a known database and there were some interesting articles written about like the people who like work in the space and like how they have like mental issues because they're and then like.
[44:42] Mike: Okay.
[45:00] Keith: How do you even like work in this space without seeing the images and and so on and so forth. But anyway the point I wanted to make was part of this legislation was the people whose images were being taken down had to be notified anytime like 1 of their images appeared on the internet and that that was. Part of the legislation but it ended up being really bad because then these people are getting notified like all the time and reminded that there's like somebody out there sharing sharing images of them and that and that had like some negative consequences. So they they address that in some way but it's an interesting discussion.
[45:23] Mike: Huh.
[45:33] Mike: Um, I know there's also a frontier there in terms of a I generated child porn and whether that's illegal I have no idea if it's illegal or not I mean I can I could see arguments both ways. Um, but yeah.
[45:44] Keith: Um, yeah I I think I've said this before but I'm a consequentialist there. So if it is the case that pedophiles who have access to Ai generated child pornography are less likely to perpetrate actual pedophiliac.
[46:01] Mike: And.
[46:02] Keith: Crimes and I I guess I would be in favor of Ai generated child porn because as a consequentialist you're you're lowering the the rate of people going out and assaulting young children. Um, and.
[46:18] Mike: Be incredibly hard to prove that. But yeah.
[46:20] Keith: Or well yeah, sure, but ah, but I'm just trying to think like morally like how do I feel about this and then on the other hand if making it legal sort of has the giving people a taste for blood effect and helps them sharpen their.
[46:35] Mike: Right? right.
[46:37] Keith: Desire to to perpetrate in the wild and I don't then I don't think it should be legal. Um, and you know some people would argue well, that's against freedom of speech or freedom of expressions against the first amendment and ah maybe it is but in that case I think it's worth bending. Ah.
[46:55] Mike: Yeah, the main thing I would say about this topic is that ah you have to be really careful about this topic because there are people look I don't I'm not a fan of pedophiles or child porn in any way 0% fan but there also are people on the other side that are kind of crazy. So if you if you say anything like that like oh.
[46:56] Keith: Around the constitution form.
[47:13] Mike: Oh in this case I'd be okay with it. There are actually people that will come after you and say oh, you're a pedophile and it's like well no I made this nuanced argument and it's like no no I don't care So thiss it's a very weird topic that has kind of crazy people on both are people that don't like to think in terms of Nuance on both sides. Yeah.
[47:15] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[47:28] Keith: Yeah, like I understand why someone's intuition when I say like there are certain conditions under which I would be strongly in favor of Ai generated child pornography being legal I can understand someone having a knee-jerk reaction that that's bad, but ah.
[47:43] Mike: Yeah, of course.
[47:43] Keith: I think I explained why I have that position all right Let's move on. Um this person says I ruined my own sex life and I don't know what to do from here. This is someone's wife I believe yes so she's 34 and her husband is 34 as well. My husband and I have always had an up and down bedroom. We would go through periods of lots of sex for weeks and dry spells for months. Has always been his own ups and downs never mind. We've been together fourteen years now with 2 kids still riding the same waves recently in the past few months after many vulnerable conversations I got him to open up more about things he likes Stuffs. He's curious about toys etc. I've always been the more sexual one in the relationship and if I'm nothing else I'm persistent to a fault. Finally got to a place where we were trying things and having fun became more often and he was finishing. The reason that's worth mentioning is because many times he wouldn't finish if we were having sex especially at night because he drinks I've always been self-conscious about it and he always reassured me it wasn't me so we talked about toys. He's never had any and I order him a smaller masturbator. Not a flashlight. Just the kind of fits in your hand. He was apprehensive at first but really began to like them this is where I murdered my own bedroom that was already on life support. Okay, you're you're going to like this paragraph Mike here we go. He ordered a flashlight and now has 8 of them and several more small masturbators and since then he can't keep it up when we have sex.
[48:51] Mike: Um, yes, ah.
[49:00] Keith: Um, notice when he uses them and he has finished every single time he is used them. Let's not get into that part now he's been offering to just get me off and market it as a playful let me help you Rob one out to spoil you thing when in reality I truly believe it's his way around with sleep around sleeping with me. He can stay hard for a little while if I give him a blowjob or a hand job but the second it's time to have sex p I v ranalll. It's soft and he never finishes anymore. Uses them after every time we've had sex and I'm out of the bedroom and on days when he's home alone more action than I'd ever gotten in the same timeframe I'm gutted and emotionally devastated. Can't shake the almost certain reality. It's me It's always been me and now he knows what could work for him I'm emotionally and mentally leveled I feel so disgusted and disappointed with myself too I have no idea where to go from here I know I can't live in a marriage with no intimacy and honesty Thank you if you made it this far I don't know what she means by honesty. She. But the first 5 paragraphs saying how open and able to vulnerable conversations. They were having but setting that aside, um I would recommend a edict that puts a moratorium on sex toy use for. Two months and see what happens.
[50:13] Mike: Well I mean it it. It matters a little bit. What so they're flashlights right? So there are different.
[50:20] Keith: Apparently ah, let's see here. Not a flashlight just the kind of fits your news happening. He ordered a flashlight and now is 8 of them. Yes, sorry so 8 flashlights.
[50:28] Mike: Yeah, so you know that there's different little openings on the flashlights some of them look like women and some look like men's parts. Yeah, well, there's like an there's like an anus one and there's yeah, there's like ah a.
[50:34] Keith: What how? what else.
[50:43] Mike: I Don't want to look this up right now. But there's like you they have lips and the mouth can look sort of more I'm not sure if they have one with hair with a mustache. But yeah, the main point I'm getting at here is that ah she doesn't know what he's looking at while he's masturbating. Ah I I got to be honest that I think it's situations like this the high.
[50:46] Keith: Has his little Moustae she was in course there.
[51:01] Mike: Probability is the guy's gay that the person is not interested it. It could also be that she's really unattractive right? like maybe she's gained a ton of weight or something and so he's just like look I'm not attracted to you at all. It could be that too. Although I would expect in that situation other behaviors like him seeking out other women.
[51:22] Mike: Um, but it's yeah, it's a little hard for me to okay you think a moratorium would help because he would get hard up for sex. But she already said that they don't have sex for months at a time.
[51:31] Keith: I mean she says they had waves so they would have lots of sex for weeks and then dry spells for months. So I wonder what was going on in those months long drive spells before he got into the toys.
[51:34] Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[51:47] Mike: Yeah I mean the another thing I would say is that the the she's basically talking about death grip like he he's no longer able to finish when having sex. But I don't I Actually don't think it's likely that would come from a toy like a flashlight because those things are kind of soft right? that the. Actually think if if if a person had death grip I think a recommendation you might make to them is to try using a flashlight to masturbate instead of your hand because with your hand you can like really you know, give yourself death grip and so the the whole thing is a little odd um I might check his phone for grinder.
[52:13] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[52:22] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[52:23] Mike: I Mean these are the thing about it. Is you You have to wonder things like that like is he attracted to women is he attracted to men is he you know? yeah him why she might he might not be attracted to her as well. That was another possibility I gave like maybe she has.
[52:30] Keith: I I don't immediately assume this guy's gay like that's just not.
[52:42] Keith: Um, I mean they they have two kids. They've been together 14 years I think Ockham's razor here is that he's just looking for different stimulation now. Maybe it's from a man's Zeus but I think more likely it's just she's.
[52:43] Mike: Become less attractive or something.
[52:59] Keith: Sort of bored of her and then he's exacerbated that problem with this new Toy fetish.
[53:10] Mike: Doesn't doesn't it sort of bother you though? that basically when he's interacting with the front side of her body which is something a man would have also the same parts that he's fine or better. But then when she turns around and he's interacting with the part that's clearly female that it goes more South I would think that would be. Better that side differentially Well she said that she he can keep it up for like a hand job or a blowjob I think but then when they try to have vaginal sex like he never keeps his erection.
[53:28] Keith: I Don't know it I don't know what you mean when you mean when she turns around.
[53:39] Keith: So yeah, that's a little bit of an indictment.
[53:45] Mike: Concerning I I just see the thing about the like I want. Okay, yeah, they could try that I just wonder in these situations if it's so hard because people are super repressed about this stuff. Um, would like I would wonder would he be aroused if he had sex with a novel. Woman you know? Yeah, probably yes, ah you you're saying that if a if you were married for 14 years and there was a novel attractive woman. You could have sex with you would be able to perform interesting.
[54:02] Keith: Well, that would that would put this matter to bed I would be yeah.
[54:14] Keith: Yes I believe So yeah reallygainst I think so yeah, just don.
[54:20] Mike: Like it's a commonly held commonly held belief right? I don't yeah the. She could put the flashlight in her vagina and he could fuck that in her vagina like she not not the whole hard part. But there's a soft part in the middle and she could sort of insert that in right.
[54:39] Keith: Um I think okay is it reasonable. Hypothetically let let's say that you know that the facts of the case as she states are are reasonably accurate. Is it reasonable for her to say like look man this sucks and we need to sort this out like.
[54:51] Mike: Yes.
[54:58] Keith: She says herself like I can't live in a marriage with no intimacy. So ah, would it be in bounds for her to go to him and be like look I think we should probably separate. But maybe we have a saving throw here like would you be willing to try like.
[55:01] Mike: Sure.
[55:18] Keith: You know, getting rid of your toys or or locking your toys up for two months and like seeing if that improves our desire for each other and if not then maybe we can have other conversations see a sex therapist or whatever. But if you don't want to do that. That's fine but I would like to get separated so there's like some sort of like ultimatum. I can imagine that going badly like having that sort of like sort of damocles over your head might be a bit of a turnoff in its in itself. But I'm not sure what she can do otherwise like this guy is probably whenever his woman is like being amorous toward him.
[55:37] Mike: Right.
[55:52] Keith: Is probably like throwing up various defense mechanisms to figure out how he can go masturbate by himself and so like I don't know how to get them out of that rut without some sort of like major ah stimulus to to do so.
[56:04] Mike: I Well there's I mean I just would broadly say I think there's something he's not telling her that that's actually the more broad thing it doesn't have to be that he's gay. It's just there's something that she's not aware of that may surprise her or something. There's something going on that she doesn't know about because yeah, like yeah.
[56:20] Keith: Yeah, but um I I have a lot of experience with the following problem Mike which is when I've been with a woman for a long time I begin to bore of her sexually and there is no good way to communicate that to her because.
[56:24] Mike: I Think if it's the other way if it's go Ahead. Yes. Over.
[56:38] Keith: I don't think that's fixable now I I would like to imagine it is you know there's a bazillion books written about this. Um, you know like how to reinterject spice into the bedroom and.
[56:53] Keith: You know there's that book mating in captivity by esther perel that everybody is like the bible on this topic but ah yeah, like in my mind I'm feeling like I Just don't want to have sex with them that much anymore like I would rather masturbate I would especially rather have sex with.
[57:08] Mike: But you also that's the thing.
[57:11] Keith: Um, else. But like I don't cheat and so I don't Um, now maybe Polyamory would would or at least ethical non-monogamy where ah, you know I occasionally sleep with other woman women would like help reinvigorate things with my primary I don't know I've never I've never tried that but ah. Most people are not as comfortable talking about these kinds of things as I am and so I don't like this this guy it if if he is indeed bored of her in the way that I've found myself in the past like I could understand where he just sort of gets avoidant and like doesn't know what to say and like turns to his. Ah, walk-in closet of toys because.
[57:52] Mike: But that would still it would still fall under the category of of things she doesn't know right? This would be a thing. Basically he's unwilling to tell her hey. Ah, yeah, so so so the question comes down to is there some way. Let's say that there was a let's say the.
[57:56] Keith: Um, yeah, right.
[58:06] Mike: Do you think there's something a woman. Let's say you were with a woman that was very high sex drive or high sex drive and was in the situation with you is there anything she could have done just to get the information out of you whether ah, anything like whether have somebody else talk to you like what is there something she could because there's this thing you know what the problem is right? You're like look I don't want to have sex with you.
[58:24] Keith: Right? right.
[58:26] Mike: <unk> have sex with a novel person or masturbate is there I mean what would is there any way to get that information or would you just always withhold it because it's too you and you just know she that it's a relationship ending.
[58:34] Keith: It feels like an atom bomb that's going to be relationship ending So like I should probably just keep it to myself like I've I've been in the circumstance where I've you know, been with a partner and they've been like oh well, let's go to therapy and it's like I don't The problem isn't that I don't know what's not the problem isn't.
[58:50] Mike: Right.
[58:52] Keith: I Don't know what's going on like I do know what's going on I don't know how to fix it and telling you I think will make it worse and so you know it's There's a paradox there.
[59:02] Mike: What if she said what if she said to you So this general in general agrees with my general perspective that the guy knows I want to flip around just for a second when it's the woman that has low libido or it's confusing this way I not sure I don't think it has to be that way for the and it doesn't have to be for the man but I think usually for the Man. He knows what it is. It's something specific and what if she said to you look? We're going to break up anyway. Like so if the thing is you want to have sex with another woman or you're gay or whatever Fine. We're going to break up if you don't tell me I'm going to break up with you.
[59:21] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[59:34] Keith: Um, yeah, right.
[59:37] Mike: So you might as well tell me so like it can't get worse like the thing that I'm saying the null set here is worse is the worst so you might as well tell me because then there's a chance that we could do something and if it's something we can't do anything fine then I won't I won't hold it against you.
[59:43] Keith: Yes I I I used to see a therapist myself and he would always say that like when you withhold information and don't have open conversations about It. You're you're basically solidifying the fate and if anything you're just delaying the inevitable. And delaying. The inevitable is a waste of everyone's time so you may as well at least try to Confront it and see if see if something could come of it. Yeah yeah.
[01:00:09] Mike: But you never had that actually happen. You never had anybody like put a bottom line like that and say look yeah if you don't answer this question the next ten minutes or 20 minutes that's it well, it's not an. It's not an unreasonable thing to say if yeah if you're just like look I don't know it's like okay, well then you don't know that's fine, but like.
[01:00:19] Keith: Yeah, no I I know it's odd I might actually find that hot and arousing Ironically so.
[01:00:27] Mike: I Think you do know.
[01:00:31] Mike: Ah, that's funny domination through well yeah, well either way you win right? because you're going to get a new partner or yeah anyway.
[01:00:39] Keith: That's right, all right? Anyway, that'll do it for this episode of your mileage may very you can send us feedback or questions to ymmvpod at Gmail.com if you ask us a question. Let us know if you don't want us to use it on the air if you give us feedback. We pay $10 for any feedback. Even if it's crappy. Ah and so just let us know what payment platform you want like Paypal or Zell or venmo or whatever. Ah, again, that's why mmv but pitchymail.com I think Zell won't work right? like right.
[01:01:05] Mike: Zell. Well the problem with Zell is that is that everybody gets everybody's real name I know that escorts use use zell to verify people for example, so that's tricky. Yeah.
[01:01:15] Keith: Okay, yeah, okay, all right? Well maybe not Zell cash up that no whatever all right? thanks for listening and we'll catch you next week on your mileage may vary.
[01:01:20] Mike: Yeah.

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Episode 158: The Three Sevens Club, Surreptitious Snaps, Sex Or Fleshlight, Size Frustration

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