Your Mileage May Vary: Female Orgasm Blame Game, Sex Toy Surprise, STI Test Forgeries, Is It Semen?

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial but mostly in good faith. We apologize for missing last week's show. Hopefully we'll make up for it with an especially good one today to that end. We're going to discuss how to tell when a woman is orgasmed. Whether women appreciate marathonsexsessionscreampie cleanup and more and Keith my co-host is Mike hi Mike I am in Boston. Yes.
[00:18] Mike: Yeah, hello Keith were you at Boston Massachusetts that's cool. What for.
[00:33] Keith: I am running the marathon this coming Monday yeah I came out, you do have to qualify. Actually apparently there are 30000 people in it and about half of them qualified.
[00:36] Mike: That's fantastic is that some sort of like does it is it hard to get into that marathon or do you have to qualify or something all right.
[00:51] Keith: Or maybe only 10000 qualified and the other two thirds or half get in through various charity and corporate methods. There isn't no well maybe there are for some of those other slots. But yeah.
[00:57] Mike: I see lottery is there a lottery even or is it just how. Ok, so which charity did you qualify through? Oh great. So You actually qualified via that the time method. That's Great. What does that mean.
[01:10] Keith: I qualifield because I am a fast runner. Yeah I qualified by like 25 minutes ah there's a qualifying time based on your age and then ah because. More people apply that actually meet the standard than there are slots they start subtracting time off the qualifying times until they get the number about right and this year the actual boston qualifying time was the stated qualifying time minus four or something I don't know. I don't know what it was because I qualified by like 25 minutes so I didn't have to sweat it out. Yeah.
[01:46] Mike: Okay, so you didn't have to worry about that specifics. What is the oldest age like if you're like 80 years old do they have like a really slow time you can qualify with okay so it's the.
[01:57] Keith: It's still pretty quick. Um I don't know what it is but it's not look. There aren't that many 80 year olds for 80 year olds maybe they just say come on in and then the 4 people who can possibly manage it show up.
[02:09] Mike: Right? That makes sense. Okay, so you're preparing and it's this coming Monday cool.
[02:15] Keith: Right? Ah, yeah, and I came out a week early to catch the eclipse which by the time we post this. Everyone will be tired of eclipse content. But the eclipse is cool.
[02:25] Mike: It was cool. Ah there was I saw a wedding ceremony that was performed during the eclipse in Arkansas and every single person I saw was obese this is on the news. Yes, ah yeah, miss.
[02:33] Keith: That sounds stereotypically correct. These are obese eclipse chasers or eclipse lovers.
[02:42] Mike: Yeah, they were lovers because they wanted to get married I guess during the totality.
[02:47] Keith: I see now what percentage of these people. Do you think have some non-zero belief in astrology I mean astrology and Astronomy of course are not related I mean astrology isn't related to anything because it's fake.
[02:56] Mike: Um, more than 5% are right.
[03:04] Mike: What do you mean? Keith.
[03:05] Keith: But ah to the to the extent. It's not I think astrology says some nonsense about the moon and the stars and the planets.
[03:13] Mike: I right? I saw a thing what was it it. It might have been on Tiktok where somebody was asking if anybody knows the exact hour they were born that they would that's astrology right? They want to? yeah okay.
[03:21] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yet.
[03:27] Mike: Because I do know the exact hour I was born but I was disinclined to do it because I figured it was voodoo.
[03:32] Keith: There's it is Voodoo There's some location so there's some chart you can get that's not just your star sign which I think is's the classic thing that everyone knows but then there's like a moon rising or some' it's some horseshit I don't know what it is but.
[03:40] Mike: Um, sure, um.
[03:48] Keith: To get the further distillation you need your place of birth by like Latin long I think and then the time of birth to the minute I believe I didn't ah congrats. No.
[03:53] Mike: Okay, okay, you know Keith I was delivered by a black man does that does that play a role. Okay.
[04:08] Keith: Although you can imagine I mean it's all made up stuff right? like it's not you could imagine like whether the doctor was left or right handed if you're just making stuff up right? Certainly their race could matter. Ah.
[04:18] Mike: Um, sure sure. Okay, yeah, yeah there you go. It's That's why I'm such like a civil rights Warrior I think I've always thought that.
[04:29] Keith: Yeah, yeah, you, you've stunned me with your bringing up of race again I don't yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna move on. Um, do you wear deodorant every day. Why.
[04:33] Mike: Social justice.
[04:41] Mike: Now because with the advent of work from home. There are many situations where I just don't have to do anything during the day where ah being odiferous would make a difference.
[04:51] Keith: Okay, so just for clarification you're claiming that it's not that you don't smell. It's that you do smell but it doesn't matter I find a lot of people who don't wear deodorant regularly.
[05:03] Mike: Correct. Yes.
[05:10] Keith: Have this belief that they don't need it.
[05:15] Mike: That makes sense I mean how how do you? Ah right? How do you get to this point in a conversation though with somebody How do you like what? Okay so you say to them. Why aren't you you you say to them. You stink.
[05:17] Keith: It makes sense that they would need that incorrect belief to decide that they don't need to wear deodorant.
[05:33] Mike: And they say what like how does it come up.
[05:35] Keith: Um I don't know. Ah.
[05:41] Keith: It it. It comes up for me because I will be dating somebody and I will notice that she occasionally is not wearing deodorant. No no. Ah.
[05:45] Mike: Um, okay.
[05:51] Mike: So that's you're saying it's typically women that you encounter. Okay, okay.
[05:59] Keith: My dad occasionally doesn't wear deodorant and I've brought it up with him and yeah, he has this like mistaken belief that he doesn't need it Sometimes my sisters and I have been on him for decades about this. We're not getting anywhere but other people do as well and it's most affects me with people I date because I guess I'm.
[06:03] Mike: Okay.
[06:16] Keith: Most physically proximate to them.
[06:16] Mike: And how are you able to to do deduce that they think they don't need it.
[06:22] Keith: Ah I mean it's a very sensitive thing to bring up and you know women maybe disproportionately to men have been affected by there was some news story or some belief in the 90 s that the zinc in anti-perspirant.
[06:24] Mike: I.
[06:40] Mike: Is the aluminum go on though.
[06:41] Keith: Or some deodorants a deal. Whatever it was could cause some sort of increased cancer risk now that has since been debunked just as like okay used to sound like a bit of an expert on this Mike Ah, Okay, okay, yeah, it was fake news just like msg.
[06:47] Mike: Um, think it was alzheimer's.
[06:52] Mike: I Just remember that I Just remember the the the the fake news on it.
[07:00] Keith: Which is often in Chinese food doesn't cause any issues either. But for like decades Chinese restaurants would have like no Msg stickers that they would put on their take up bags and and their menus. Ah so you're just like addressing a fake Hysteria Um, and so I think some women there's a.
[07:12] Mike: There. Sure.
[07:20] Keith: Big booming business for these like organic deodorants that are just fucking tree bark and coconut oil or some nonsense. Um and they you know charge Seventeen Ninety nine for it. It is smart but ah, those cynical capitalists are sort of.
[07:29] Mike: Um, and they don't work right? That's smart.
[07:39] Keith: Creating a problem for me because they have convinced a generation of women that deodorant is not good for you and if you are going to wear it. You need to wear stuff that is not effective. Yeah, it does. It's just annoying and then.
[07:51] Mike: That makes sense. Yeah.
[07:58] Keith: Have to have a conversation like this but a lot more delicately and just like ah the women I've dated that believe it astrology convincing someone that they're wrong about some thing that they believe medically is effectively impossible.
[08:09] Mike: How what I mean what? what is the nature of this conversation typically I'm trying to and so you say you honey I have something to talk to you about right.
[08:15] Keith: I I mean okay so you so you know the approach needs to be sort of circuitous and I might try something like hey honey are you wearing deodorant today and then they will say no why or yes i.
[08:30] Mike: Ah, yes, maybe.
[08:35] Keith: Used my own concoction of ah lemon juice and seltzer water. Why is it not working um and then I'll say like oh I was just curious but I've planted the seed you see and they will.
[08:38] Mike: Okay.
[08:52] Keith: Now bring it up with me and they'll be like oh you know do I You know do I smell bad and and you know now you have to still be delicate and be like well no, not really, but like sometimes ah sometimes I can tell.
[09:04] Mike: Um, what percentage of women that you date. Do you have to do this with.
[09:11] Keith: Um, honestly Mike I break up with people before I need to have this conversation and it might factor into breakups like because it is a hard conversation and I know that even if it goes in like the ninety fifth percentile best possible way like i'm. Probably not going to fully reform them and if I'm sort of so so on someone this would be like a big reason to to call it off.
[09:34] Mike: And the situation where you would detect the odor would be you on a date where you know they've showered beforehand is that the.
[09:42] Keith: Yeah I mean some people are more sweaty than others. Um, but yeah I mean it doesn't take vigorous exercise to cause body odor will some people think some people think yeah so setting aside the like.
[09:45] Mike: Okay.
[09:53] Mike: That's true. That's true. Yeah, especially if you're any.
[09:59] Keith: Organic deodorant nonsense. Some people think they don't actually smell.
[10:04] Mike: Well typically people it's I was going to say people don't smell to themselves but that's not actually not true because if you take your running shorts and you smell them. Ah, they do You can smell yourself. It's actually surprising how bad because you think your nose isn't that far from your crotch.
[10:15] Keith: Um I can yeah yeah.
[10:22] Mike: So it's I don't I don't really understand completely. What's going on there. Why the cotton or whatever fabric becomes so pungent. Maybe yeah, but you.
[10:29] Keith: Maybe it's part of it's like wicking properties that it you know the water all evaporates, but the the funk lingers.
[10:40] Mike: You'd have to assume that it would smell around the same as your skin. Maybe maybe the bacteria is able to multiply more? Yeah, oh maybe that? Yeah, but I mean ultimately the smell is due to bacteria I Assume although I don't not sure. Yeah, so.
[10:46] Keith: It's it's concentrated because of the evaporation.
[10:52] Keith: Yes, presumably.
[10:57] Mike: Yeah, maybe they get concentrated in there and also because it's a fabric instead of a sort of smooth surface like your skin. They're able to kind of hang out in their build little homes so forth. Yeah, anyway, yes people I understand that people convince themselves of that that they're wrong in general.
[11:10] Keith: Yeah, they are and so it's just a difficult conversation because you know I'm dating adults like their worldview is sort of formed and this is pretty shattering of it and ah.
[11:26] Mike: Yeah, yeah, it's tough and you haven't gotten there with your dad yet or no, you have, but it hasn't worked it just doesn't work.
[11:28] Keith: Yeah I don't know I don't yeah I have I mean getting my my dad's in his seventy s getting him to reform on anything is basically impossible. But but yeah like I think people.
[11:40] Mike: Um, that makes sense right.
[11:45] Keith: Think what they think about their grooming and hygiene habits and they're a little bit hard to bump off of them all right? Let's ah, let's talk about sex. So we've covered this topic many times but this had an interesting slant on it. So I wanted to do it again. How do men know.
[11:49] Mike: Sure sure.
[12:04] Mike: There we go.
[12:04] Keith: When women orgasm this is written by a woman every time I'm with a guy I ask if they've made a woman orgasm and they always 100 % say yes I follow up with how do you know and most of the time they falter and say I think I did as somebody who's only had 1 guy give me an orgasm I find it funny that guys think that they've given a. Woman 1 when they haven't and it's obvious because they only do pi I v and rub my clit like they're starting a fire so man, how do you know? if your lady friend had an orgasm. So the interesting slant here was we talked about this. But yeah.
[12:28] Mike: Here.
[12:41] Keith: Lots of women don't know if they've had an orgasm and so like being irritated that men can be a little bit confused about this thing seems like the wrong place to start That's like downstream of the of the real problem here.
[12:56] Mike: Ah, let's see I mean for this woman in particular, it's not because she presumably does know but but you're.
[13:03] Keith: That's a fair point but her irritation like these men may have been in several situations prior to her where someone said they were orgasming when they weren't or someone didn't know if they were. You know they were having these wavelike orgasms where they you know are orgasming for for 12 minutes straight it's like okay you know so there's all these various things that may have muddled the man's experience in the past I mean when a man orgasms it's obvious there's pulsing and this weird white fluid everywhere.
[13:22] Mike: Yes.
[13:37] Keith: Ah, but when a woman does she may or may not announce and you know there's sort of you're you're hoping for some sort of feedback. Maybe but ah, you know, maybe it accelerated breath some some flushed something but it's not.
[13:44] Mike: Um, right.
[13:50] Mike: Um, there's.
[13:56] Keith: As simple as this woman imagines I don't think.
[13:57] Mike: Agreed yeah there by the way there is ah the top post I just know this from today the top post on the and nsf w 4 1 one subreddit was pee someone looking for what are they were they specifically like they were looking for a subreddit for women having rolling orgasms. Just continuously orgasm until your dick can't take it anymore and you pop all right? So there is a subriter for this It's called she still she's still coming. she's still coming it's like 1 word. She's still coming. Yeah, that's the thing if you watch it well I mean like 1 of the posts on there right now. Ah.
[14:24] Keith: Should rename it. She's still not coming.
[14:33] Mike: Is it multiorgasmic bbw has 100 orgasms during 30 minute fuck she counts out each one that's just not plausible.
[14:38] Keith: Yeah, this is tricky because you know some people are listening to our show for the first time so they don't know our like long history of conversation about this but ah women do some women do have a thing where they have an obvious orgasm right? they. Build up. There's some sort of release usually with some sort of spasmodic contraction and then they're sensitive for seconds or minutes afterwards as they have like the female equivalent of refracting so that is definitely an orgasm. Lots of women also describe this wavelike thing which. Ah, as we've discussed may or may not be an orgasm by our definition but these women who experience it think they're orgasming and so it's just it's tricky.
[15:16] Mike: Right.
[15:24] Mike: Well yeah, that's I mean that's yeah, that gets to the bottom of the point you're talking about here which is that for the man to be sure what's going on. He's already. Ah, he's already kind of like be behind the eight ball a little bit because he doesn't know.
[15:41] Mike: He's basing it on reports self reports from women that could be faulty so he's actually he's he's the victim of ah, an unreliable narrator from the women already.
[15:46] Keith: Well, yeah, and I will also say I have been with a handful of women who do like what what was the expression. This woman used it was pretty.. It was pretty funny. Oh rub her clit like they're they're starting a fire. Yeah I've been with ah a few women who. Yeah, like no amount of pressure on their clit is enough like they really like aggressive rubbing now. Oh Maybe if I sure of a fine yeah or ah, a mallet.
[16:13] Mike: That can't be totally true I mean there's a level of pressure that would be too much like if you ah started using your fingernails or ah like a pair of pair of pliers. Yeah, so there's a limit but you're saying basically with with using Garden variety Normal sexual.
[16:24] Keith: Right? okay.
[16:30] Keith: Yes, yes, correct and yeah like I would get tired I remember stating this what person years ago and I actually bought ah 1 of those grip strengtheners that.
[16:30] Mike: Ah, methodologies they're going to always ask for it harder. Yeah.
[16:44] Mike: Yeah.
[16:47] Keith: Rock Climbers use and I would like you know, use it when I was sitting at my desk hoping that I could ah I think the relationship didn't last long enough I think I think fingers knows maybe I think finger strength takes a long time to to build up.
[16:51] Mike: Right? Did that help. Because of this.
[17:05] Mike: Um, right.
[17:06] Keith: Like to get 10% more finger strength takes longer than it takes to get 10% more bicep strength.
[17:09] Mike: Yeah I do think though it's it's curious that men appear to be given the amount of interest that men obviously have in this topic broadly men want to witness female Orgasms you look at just like the popular searches on porn sites. You know that.
[17:18] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[17:28] Mike: And yet men seem unwilling to put an ah moderate amount of research to understand what the actual orgasmic response is this actually fits into a general category for me that I'm often surprised how willing people are to go through their lives with just very limited information about how the world works should.
[17:44] Keith: Yeah, like whether or not they need deodorant.
[17:48] Mike: Yeah, okay there you go Yes, very similar kind of thing. It's like how do people how are people so sort of blind or just ignorant. They're just ignoring these basic these basic things but obviously from what you hear about women say like this is this.
[17:55] Keith: Yeah, yes.
[18:03] Mike: Comports This woman's complaint comports with what I've heard many many times which is the guys just don't appear curious or interested in figuring this out even though they're very interested in seeing the the outcome of it. They don't want to know how the machine operates right? Huge incentive.
[18:16] Keith: Yes, they have incentive to care right? Yeah I don't know Um, but.
[18:26] Mike: I agree with I agree strongly with her that like most of these men are I mean they yeah obviously she's and actually yeah, her comment post kind of turned me on a little bit because I it was so up my alley I was like this is she's basically saying something I instinctively agree with that. Most men are not. They're just ah. Crazy if they think they know what's going on there. Um.
[18:46] Keith: Yeah I mean her complaint is fair. But I think that her ah or her complaint is understandable I'm not sure it's entirely fair.
[18:56] Mike: Yeah I mean there's that there's a there's yeah I hear what you're saying. It's not fair because because necessarily because guys are not getting good and good feedback from women.
[19:04] Keith: Yes, my advice to her would be to give coherent with be to think carefully about like what it is that she likes down there and then to give the guy a checklist and tell him and tell him what to do but like women are so uncomfortable telling men what to do and so.
[19:22] Mike: Um, it's also I mean it's good. The.
[19:22] Keith: She's she's like hoping that he's going to happen upon it like he's seen the the firestarter method when watching porn and it seems intuitively like that might do something because men like sort of vigorous stroking at times when they're masturbating so like you could see why men ah try that by default but she needs to coach him.
[19:28] Mike: Yeah.
[19:42] Mike: But I mean I've been in this situation before where you're with a woman who is not doing what it's going to take and it it is uncomfortable to sort of guide her. So I mean let's yeah.
[19:42] Keith: And I don't if she.
[19:52] Keith: Yeah, ah, we've been through this before right I have like my encyclopedia of tricks and I try all of them and hope for like some sort of audio feedback to you know.
[20:02] Mike: Um, you know I'm saying if a woman is doing a bad job stimulating me like the opposite direction. It can you can have the same problem right? where it's like well.
[20:08] Keith: Oh yeah, yes, but the but the ah the air bar the amount of sort of bad technique that a man can tolerate is higher.
[20:22] Mike: We'll tolerate but it's just not going to get you there right.
[20:25] Keith: I mean it might eventually. But yeah, that's fine I mean I've had some bad hand jobs and gotten there of course I was a teenager.
[20:28] Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[20:34] Mike: It makes me curious about what what? what they were doing just calloused hands Man hands? Yeah, something something right? sure.
[20:41] Keith: Who knows I don't even remember you never really want a hand job in the first place man if it's all you can get sure. But um, all right, let's ah, let's move on. Ah.
[20:52] Mike: Sure.
[20:57] Keith: Right? This person says my husband sexually stimulates me for hours before intercourse and afterwards whenever my husband and I are going to have sex. He will start by stimulating me first. All right sounds good starts by soft touches and moves to my nipples eventually in which I get extreme sexual satisfaction and wave after wave of orgasms all right.
[21:06] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[21:15] Mike: Now I'm getting suspicious.
[21:16] Keith: I roll he will continue to touch me for at least 1 hour on some occasions he has done it for even 3 hours then at some point we will have sex which would last between a few minutes or on a good day like 15 minutes okay it sounds about bright during this sex. He enjoys it and comes then he is done with his part and he'll wash and come back and continue to touch me and I will continue to have orgasms for hours on occasion. But sometimes I feel guilty about all of this. He gets pleasure for like 15 minutes max during this four or five hour period and I always ask what I can do to make it better. He says he enjoys the touching and sucking nipples playing with breast part as well. But I doubt it's as orgasmic as mine. What can I do to make his life better I even give him blowjobs before intercourse but still the time spent of him getting pleasure is not that long is this even normal. No, it's not Ah why I look I like my partner to have a good time and I'm willing to put some work in but it sounds like these people have been together for a long time and like I'm willing to put in time at like a 3 to 1 ratio.
[22:09] Mike: Um, because.
[22:28] Keith: Say ah where I do 3 times the work that she does quote unquote work. Ah, but this is like this like a hundred to one ratio. Ah I don't.
[22:30] Mike: Um, sure.
[22:39] Mike: Um, yeah, it's so I don't Well I'm also curious I don't really understand how she could be enjoying this. It's too long.
[22:42] Keith: Right? So sorry that was the first thing I wrote in my notes here which is like does a woman actually want this.
[22:51] Mike: Well, even if think I mean let's say you go to a you know it doesn't have to be a hand job massage problem but just a nice place to get a massage like how long would you actually want sort of let's say it's not a sports massage where they're kind of needing you really forcefully just just like ah for.
[23:03] Keith: Yeah.
[23:09] Mike: Kind of an you know pleasure like a massage just to relax you I mean I think an hour and a half would be kind of the upper limit before you just be like I'm tired of having this person rub my body. Um, so it's a little and then as when you bring in sexual stimulation to it. It's I don't know I mean look I mean women complain.
[23:16] Keith: Um, yeah.
[23:28] Mike: I Guess so a baby when he's sucking on a nipple is going he or she is is going to be pretty more aggressive. But I mean there's a point where women's nipples get chapped kind of. There's a limitation there. So it's a little strange that she's it makes me think she's losing track of time. Although.
[23:45] Keith: Yeah, that sounded right? Still it might be dilating or whatever the opposite of dilating is distending ah when when she think about the other thing but I mean okay I mean.
[23:46] Mike: Her 5 to 15 minute thing was right? so that made me a little so I'm not sure. Yeah, but she.
[24:03] Keith: If I were her every time this guy cozied up to me I would be like oh man here we go you know like let's say at six p M we're not going to be done until until midnight like this is yeah.
[24:14] Mike: Right? She has nothing better to do so really, it's a she's in for a it's like Netflix and chill. But it's.
[24:21] Keith: Yeah I mean she she talks about these wavelike orgasms and if she's experiencing that maybe maybe women who have that experience like having it for hours on end.
[24:34] Mike: Well I mean I can I can I can vibe with that or I can relate to it from the standpoint of like a massage or something like that you can be very relaxed like maybe on the edge of sleep like you're very just a very nice experience. I can sort of see that that the problem I have with that is that once people start stimulating sexually.. There's like a little bit of a bite to that. That's kind of going the opposite direction. So It's not really relaxing in the same way and it's a little hard for me to understand how somebody would want that simultaneously. Ah yeah I mean but look maybe she's maybe the primary thing she's getting out of it is just like attention.
[24:54] Keith: Yeah, right.
[25:12] Mike: And him caring for these are things like women generally care a lot about so she's just like oh and he's paying attention to me. Yes, but that's a long time I mean you think she would need there would be situations where she'd need to take a phone call or something maybe sign a contract like different.
[25:14] Keith: Yeah, it does sound affectionate.
[25:27] Keith: Choose the restroom. So yeah, okay, all right? Well you agree This is also how could this be sustainable for either party. Maybe that's why she's asking.
[25:30] Mike: Yeah, exactly she's got some other things going on have a sandwich.
[25:39] Mike: Um, right? Yeah I mean even even even in I mean I've thought about this before I like let's say you're in college and you're in you're having your one of the first 5 sexual encounters with a new partner as a guy even in that situation I don't think like. You're not going to have 5 hours of sex. You might have an hour or an hour and a half or something but 5 hours like even in that situation where the guy has the absolute maximum incentive to do as much as he can I think it's just not going to last this long I just think she's inaccurate this reminds me of the thing where women.
[25:59] Keith: Right? yeah.
[26:16] Mike: Say their their partner has an eight inch penis they're just like they're doing a bad job kind of measuring something now.
[26:18] Keith: Yeah, right? Yeah I think if I were handicapping. What's really going on here that would be there would be the odds on favorite. She's just confused about the time. But yeah.
[26:31] Mike: Um, yeah, yeah, it could be 45 minutes that's totally plausible.
[26:35] Keith: But I mean even 45 minutes before and after would be unusual.
[26:37] Mike: What you would. You'd be, You'd be much more interested in packing that time in on the before part than the then bringing the after as well right.
[26:44] Keith: Yes, yes, the the post orgasm clarity would make petting her for 2 hours I mean at some point I'm going to get aroused again. But.
[26:54] Mike: Right? And then there'd be that extra lubrication presumably? yes.
[26:59] Keith: I Think of of my cmen. Yeah great I Think there's something wrong with this guy I don't know exactly what but I know I don't know if that correlates but I think that he has ah.
[27:07] Mike: He's on the spectrum.
[27:15] Mike: What is what does that do actually what happens I've never thought about this before what happens when autistic people want to have sex is that alter there. Do they have sex differently. You ever talked any? Okay yeah.
[27:17] Keith: I Don't know.
[27:29] Keith: Um I have a ah I have a friend who's on the spectrum who would probably come on the show we could ah bring him on to talk about it.
[27:33] Mike: Okay. All right? Yeah I don't know if they I don't know if ah because a lot of that a lot of being on the spectrum relates to interpersonal stuff right? Like how you relate to other people. Ah and ah difficulty I Guess reading the body language and.
[27:52] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[27:55] Mike: Facial language of other people and so I would think that could be pretty complicated huh and he has. He's not an incel. He has had relationships Interesting Yeah, that would be interesting.
[27:59] Keith: Yeah, yeah, this friend is pretty articulate. He would. He would definitely have things to say he has he has had relationships. Yes, yeah, um, all right? Let's talk about cream pies. Ah, how do you clean up after he comes inside you. Feel so silly that at 26 I don't know but every time he finishes inside of me I know I'm in for 48 hours of unpleasantries instantly after I go pee and I try and push it out most of it seems to come out then the next day when I stand up walk around laugh cough. My undies are soaked with seammen and discharge. Sometimes it drips down my leg. It leaves an unpleasant smell makes sense not revolting but I'd rather not walk around smelling like cum and pussy juices that have been brewing inside me overnight not a beginner in sex but definitely in cream pies l o l. Feel like I'm so alone in this. My friend has mentioned before that her boyfriend does it inside her every single day but I'm not comfortable asking how she manages manages it because I feel so stupid. Um is her experience. Normal.
[29:03] Mike: I don't think so I think there could be like some sort of anatomical variation here or something going on I mean the the I think the normal experience is not 48 hours of large I mean first of all like the quantity right? The quantity that's put in there just isn't that high.
[29:15] Keith: Um, yes I think for a couple hours. Yeah, well yeah, and it varies.
[29:23] Mike: And the vast majority of it right? But the vast majority of it's going to come out when she's on the toilet right? So it's not ah so there's going to be a very small amount left and then running down her leg like that's suggestive of something else going on there like actually it's suggestive to me that it's.
[29:27] Keith: The.
[29:42] Mike: Maybe she's incontinent that it's urine I'm not sure it's suggestive that there's something coming from her body not his just because look for it to run down for something to run down your leg that already requires a fair amount of it right? and.
[29:48] Keith: Yeah.
[29:53] Keith: Yeah.
[29:58] Mike: So I mean so we have what percentage of it could be left after she's on the toilet like 10% I mean it's just not I'm not sure there would be enough.
[30:01] Keith: I don't know and I bet it varies on like what position the man orgasmed in like I like how deep it's up there or something.
[30:11] Mike: Ah, based on. Oh oh you mean like how you think that you think that ah based on the way a guy sort of the positioning their bodies. He might be able to sort of get it in there in a more sticky way. So it doesn't come out and I think it's I don't think that's right I mean.
[30:22] Keith: I Don't know that was my thought but I don't know.
[30:29] Mike: For 1 thing. Ah you know semen sort of turns more liquid after a period of time and so you prefer it when it's more more mucusy and viscasy as kiss why just.
[30:35] Keith: Yeah I Don't love that. But normally I dispose of it before to deal with that. Um, yeah, yeah I mean look I don't. Prefer is a wrong word I'm disgusted by it slightly less I think so yeah.
[30:49] Mike: Because it's easier to kind of wrangle I don't what becomes more fluid you're just sort of now you now you are dealing with something that could run down a leg. Yeah I mean maybe she's not getting any of it out. Maybe she's really tight.
[31:00] Keith: Yeah, exactly.
[31:08] Mike: Is a very yeah, she's incredibly tight.
[31:08] Keith: I like that answer. Ah I'm just trying to imagine what what her like failure modes might be here like okay, all right. She tries to pee that's like. That's the number 1 advice everyone would would give here I don't know if the peeing actually flushes much much out, but like the the process of like having your vagina over a toilet bowl and opening it presumably lets most of it that's gret has gravity.
[31:38] Mike: Yes, yeah, that's right, Yeah, you can sort of put a bear down and push some of it out. That's right.
[31:40] Keith: Push it out. Can they like Cagle some of it out too and does that can they do that with things other than like can they do that with period blood. Can they do that with discharge or is it yes.
[31:51] Mike: Well I mean you know they can do it with ping pong balls because I've seen these videos so there. Yeah, there are there are I mean but it's going to if you if you aren't able to make like a vacuum seal.
[31:58] Keith: Right? same.
[32:07] Mike: Obviously your ability to influence what happens in there will be more limited because you can't ah push it out in the same way and it's not like a pooping where there's other poop behind it or whether when there's also it's that and you have like kind of a coordinated set of muscles right.
[32:09] Keith: Um, yeah, right.
[32:19] Keith: You have a muscle. Yeah well okay, all right? So that activity gets out x percent you you hypothesized 90 So now there's 10% left in there now with most women, let's say that part is normal. She has the same amount left over as most women. So.
[32:37] Mike: Um, yeah.
[32:37] Keith: So then where might she be failing well does some is there. You know it I think it gets absorbed in the vaginal wall or something now. So what? what does it evaporate like where does it go where does that other 10% go
[32:44] Mike: No I mean not to a meaningful extent Now. What do you mean? Oh I think there is some amount of like leakage that the woman would experience subsequently to getting it out on the toilet like there. She's not good. It's not going to be perfect and there will be some amount of kind of and I mean that's look to to your point like if you have sex with a woman she sits on the toilet and then you have sex again there there's still obviously Semen is still in there and you can just tell because it feels different.
[33:03] Keith: I see yeah.
[33:11] Keith: Yeah, there is yeah that sloshes a little. Yeah.
[33:20] Mike: Well I would just say it's much. It's lubricated more than you could be. Both could be both but I'm going to guess that there's like but but that's so I mean you could like sort of have that fluid in there. Obviously you know the.
[33:24] Keith: Oh I thought that was just because she was so aroused by me wanting to go for round 2 Yeah.
[33:40] Mike: Like the yeah I mean like the the natural process is going to sort of cause there to be discharged that will get rid of various things that are put in there eventually. Um I don't think it's really going to be absorbed I don't think that's right.
[33:48] Keith: I was just trying to come up with. So yeah I'm I'm trying to come up with some other failure mode Other than that she's not peeing it out enough. So other women can somehow pinch it in and she can't.
[33:58] Mike: Um, I think that she's incontinent So what's happening is he's no, she's incontinent she he's right I think it's squirt. Yeah I think that she's having sex. She's ah she's.
[34:06] Keith: Oh you think it's not come. You think it's.
[34:13] Keith: Ah, not touching that today.
[34:15] Mike: They're It's very vigorous and it's kind of loosening up her ah her muscles and she's There's a little bit of something leaking out of her that I mean could be could be I mean she wouldn't look. It wouldn't be.
[34:21] Keith: Ah, and that for 48 hours she's pissing herself a little. You don't think she could tell the difference between urine and what she described as pussy juice and semen combo.
[34:37] Mike: Well first of all I think it would have I mean given the ah area of the the anatomy it needs to travel through it would pick up all manner of funk. So so the the smell and so forth and then secondly look.
[34:47] Keith: Jesus yeah.
[34:52] Mike: Here here's where the the beliefs on squirting actually sort of operate to our benefit or my benefit at least on this if a women can't tell the difference between urine and squirt right famously they think squirt is something different.
[35:04] Keith: That's because they're that that's because they're the same thing. Oh that's true. That's that woe I see what you're doing here I see what you're doing this a good sleight of hand go on.
[35:07] Mike: Okay, well do you know? what? I mean they think that the squirt is somehow different than urine and so look so when there's something dripping down her leg right? She right? when there's something dripping down her leg. She thinks oh this is Semen This is something else. It's probably just that look. That's the main source of large amounts of fluid. In that area and another thing is ah because of yes, but given because of the positioning of the urethra versus the vagina like yeah, it could be not totally clear to her. What's going on look if there was a large amount coming out. Obviously she would you know feel that she was peeing but it could be a very small amount.
[35:26] Keith: The bladder.
[35:40] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[35:44] Mike: Like I mean as a guy you could experience this. Let's you you have to pee really really badly you. You might not be totally sure if a little bit came out or not you just know the area is full. You've never been in a emergency peeing situation where you weren't positive whether like there was a little bit of P ah that a.
[35:52] Keith: I Guess I don't know.
[36:02] Keith: I Feel like when I really need to pee once I start it's it's happening. Yeah, no, it's not like pooping where what's the expression. It's turtling if you heard this expression before.
[36:03] Mike: Gotten out of your penis or not.
[36:12] Mike: Um, joy you don't feel like you've you can you like.
[36:18] Mike: Go on I have I'm sure yeah peeing doesn't do that.
[36:21] Keith: Yeah, like the the Po just pokes it head out a little bit of your goal and it's not like that with with P It's like you either hold all of it back or it's Niagara falls.
[36:33] Mike: I Don't think that's right for me like I think I've had like ah I've had situations where a little bit was able to probably yes prostate and or bladder Pc muscles. Yeah, it's unclear.
[36:36] Keith: I must have better prostate control makes sense I'm younger.
[36:45] Keith: Well or memory We we're we're remembering differently. Um.
[36:50] Mike: I mean but you you yeah I mean I don't I don't know that you would know exactly I think that a woman might be unclear on exactly where are the foods by the way it could also be her natural lubrication. She might just be naturally very lubricating. So.
[37:05] Keith: It could be yeah I know the the advice in the comments is not great. I mean people say use a panty liner that makes sense but people say ah, get get up pretty quickly after pee every time and spend a few extra minutes on the toilet pushing it out. Person says I take vaginal probiotics every day to keep myself in a good place to fight off any Ph upsets like semen.
[37:28] Mike: So that's for that's for the smell for the general like kind of grossness there. Yeah.
[37:33] Keith: I I've heard a lot about vaginal Ph and there are soaps that advertise that they are balanced in a special way. Um.
[37:41] Mike: Okay, sounds like those doo. There's a organic deodorants you were decrying earlier.
[37:47] Keith: Yeah I have a story about this that I'm not going to tell on this episode I Want to talk to you offline about whether you think I can tell it. It's a little tantalizing for for our listeners here but all right? Let's move on to the next thing Anyway, this person wonders about sex toys during a one night stand Hi everyone.
[37:58] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[38:05] Keith: Recently split up with my girlfriend and I'm slowly opening up to the dating world again I recently had a one night stand with a girl I met at a nearby bar good for him. Our sex was okay but I felt like something was missing me and my girlfriend always tried lots of stuff like ballgags and cups etc and I and I get that this might require some amount of. Trust.
[38:20] Mike: All right.
[38:25] Keith: She and I were also really into massage wands and I feel like this would help with them with the quote unquote missing part question. How would you feel if someone would bring this up in a one night stand situation or even use it by surprise. Ah I don't know.
[38:39] Mike: What's a massage want. It's not a cattle prod right? It's not. It's not electricrouting you. It's presumably. It's ah yeah I'm assuming it's going to be ah one of those things that vibrates right? right.
[38:44] Keith: Sage Wand Sex Toy oh it's just a vibrator it. It's like a powerful vibrator.
[38:55] Mike: Yes, I mean there's obvious problem in a one night stand situation. The I think that most women are going to be a little nonplussed if you like take them to your dungeon during your one night stand. So the the ball gag I mean like any of these things. The ballgag probably has been in someone else's mouth So there's that.
[39:08] Keith: So. Ah, that's it's incredible that your mind went there. The first comment went there too which is like you got to be really sure that you're cleaning up these toys in between each use because it's already weird if it's the same person. But ah if it's a different person and you're using the same ballgag. It's like.
[39:15] Mike: Women Probably there's there's not a huge.
[39:25] Mike: Um, yeah.
[39:32] Keith: Well.
[39:33] Mike: Um, well what are the odds I mean I think I think in general look There is not a very good used market for sex toys. They don't have them right? They don't yeah I think in general the women women who are having a sex toy used upon them would love it if you.
[39:38] Keith: Yeah I feel like with sex toys. You want to see the original packaging before using it.
[39:50] Mike: Took it out of the package and then washed it in front of them so he could do that he could do that like if he he could either.
[39:51] Keith: Yeah, dip it in acid and then you know whatever you can do to maximally clean it. He could Mike That's not that's not the issue. The issue is that this fucking weirdo that you just met at the bar something brings out the dungeon kit and. You know if you haven't had like lengthy conversations and establish some trust I think most women are going to balk at that Be nonplused as you say?? yeah.
[40:13] Mike: Start crying. Yeah yeah, the I mean even the vibrator which is a nice idea I think he's going to have trouble with because the woman isn't in this one night stand or first encounter expecting to get pleasured that much.
[40:28] Keith: No exactly I think we we don't need to litigate this now but lots of women I think I have one night stands for some sort of sexual.
[40:31] Mike: She's trying to increase the odds of a second encounter with you. She likes you.
[40:48] Mike: Oh.
[40:48] Keith: Pleasure. Ah I I understand what you're saying where many women aren't expecting really to get that much pleasure from first like they expect for sex to be bad in a way that men don't like men are like maximally excited like first first sex is usually pretty great.
[40:58] Mike: Right begin.
[41:03] Mike: But you're postulating. There's some women out there that just want to get off. They need a guy to get off and they go find him ok that makes sense to me but it's the same thing in that like I'm not sure they're going to expect to have an orgasm.
[41:07] Keith: I Don't know if it's even get off. It's like have sexual affection.
[41:19] Keith: The point that they're not expecting to have an orgasm is is well taken.
[41:22] Mike: Yeah I mean maybe if they like but the thing is they would in such an encounter the way I would expect them to to get off is with their hand or their own toy. Not with a strange toy. That's introduced by the other guy. So it's kind of like a nice he's trying to be helpful.
[41:35] Keith: Right? Look the recipe for getting an individual women woman off you know, giving her an orgasm is is very particular. It's not like men where they're gonna orgasm 99.999 I can keep going percent of the time.
[41:46] Mike: Short.
[41:53] Keith: Like women. Even if even if they're in the right headspace in my experience women have sort of 1 or 2 or maybe 3 ways that they can reach orgasm during a sexual encounter with a man.
[41:54] Mike: Um I don't totally I mean oh yeah, that's true. But I mean the recipe.
[42:10] Keith: Ah, some some can orgasm at the drop of the hat but most cannot and need like sort of a specific set of circumstances to get there.
[42:15] Mike: Yeah I Just want to say that I mean if people listen to our previous episode Some of the things you described in terms of the way you reach orgasm in situations with women if I think if I was a woman I'd be a little surprised by so it is possible for men to have This is the thing where you wanted to wanted to discuss.
[42:27] Keith: What what do you? What are you referring to.
[42:34] Mike: Ah, where you should put your semen in ah in an early encounter and some of the things you described were not I don't think things that most guys do so that is showing some variety of experience if people are curious about Keith's and you are.
[42:37] Keith: And yeah. Oh yeah.
[42:51] Mike: Unusual is the wrong word just like his own individuality on this. They can listen to episode whatever 1 62 but ah I think there but I agree with you in general that there's more individuality for women. That's right, um, and.
[43:03] Keith: Right? And so so sorry the the probability that that his set of Keys will unlock. Her lock is pretty low even if he has you know this this portfolio of sex toys at his disposal. Lots of women don't even like sex toys.
[43:12] Mike: Um, it's right right? If you right? if he did this a thousand times I think almost it's it's either like 0 1 or 2 women would be delighted to see even the vibrator might be 0 Ah.
[43:25] Keith: Ah, right? yeah.
[43:30] Mike: Because if if nothing else through like social conditioning. But I also think like the cleanliness aspect. They just be like well like did you just pull that out of your ass like what where where where is this been I Guess you could put a condom over it. But that's also kind of icky because it just suggests so much forethought it like oh so you you're doing this now. You've got your.
[43:36] Keith: Right.
[43:47] Keith: Yeah, yeah, that reminds me I read a Reddit post considering it for the show but ultimately discarded it but a wife discovered her husband using her sex toys and.
[43:49] Mike: You got the whole system down here. You.
[44:02] Mike: In his ass.
[44:05] Keith: Ah, she got a uti and she wondered if he was cleaning her sex toy properly.
[44:11] Mike: Well that you know for the for more like rubbery. Ah yes, Siliconey rubbery Dildos you're supposed to like I think actually it's recommended use a condom on them to avoid that issue. Yeah, they just get a you.
[44:15] Keith: Siliconi I think it is.
[44:20] Keith: Okay, but nobody actually does that What is what do people actually do they use like a hand sanitizer now. It's gross.
[44:28] Mike: They get a uti hand sanitizer they use a use hand sanitizer I mean I think look I mean you could for sure if you like boiled it or you wouldn't even need to boil it. You could just put it in hot. Ah people can correct me on this but I think one hundred and thirty hundred and forty degree water for a period of time that'll kill everything. Yeah.
[44:44] Keith: Pasteurized the poop particles. Ah, ah.
[44:46] Mike: Well I mean if you want to make sure all the Bacteria Whatever dead that'll do it? Um, but I have read before that like the quote unquote recommended thing is a condom and then you go? Well why not? Well I I get it. It's because the material absorbs is a little bit absorbent. And so now you're in this problem where it's like it has pores You can't totally clean it out And yeah, if if if I found out if I was a woman I found out my husband had been sticking these things up his butt and gave me a disease or like the uti that would be sort of irritating.
[45:12] Keith: Sort of irritating is putting it wildly. Yeah I mean.
[45:15] Mike: Yeah, it's like why doesn't he get his own and was he doing it by himself or was it No, it must have been. Yeah, he was by himself. He was alone.
[45:24] Keith: There was and the thread talked about how she actually approached him about it and he got any like totally shut down and then was like yeah this is a little sad. That's why I discarded it.
[45:33] Mike: You right? Well, it would be I mean if in that set of situation I think that's what the guy would do is to refuse to talk about it because it's so embarrassing? Yeah, but he's not if he were totally fine with it. He would have brought it up to her.
[45:42] Keith: Ah, she said that she was totally fine with it and I don't know.
[45:53] Mike: Like oh hey, there's this I Want this thing up my butt.
[45:53] Keith: Yeah, but I mean it's particularly rude to use someone else's sex Toys I think very thrifty.
[46:01] Mike: That's right? Well he might be saving money. He might ah he might well you know, ah you got to be realistic. This is we live in the post Trump america the rich and poor gap. So there are some people that wouldn't build afford it be like thirty forty bucks yeah
[46:11] Keith: Yeah, what is a dildo cost these days within inflation inflation's up again I saw.
[46:19] Mike: Dildos Dildos probably going up constantly I know the you'd think the prices on this stuff would be going up but I've noticed that the girls on Cam girl problems is a camroll whatever that there's that subreddit for women who are who are camirs are constantly complaining that they get fewer tokens right now.
[46:30] Keith: Um, yeah.
[46:36] Mike: But I just take to mean like guys are being stingier or they're all unattractive or something I don't know.
[46:39] Keith: Huh or maybe other kinds of porn have become more compelling. Yeah I yeah I don't know if we're there yet, it's coming so soon Mike.
[46:43] Mike: Um, maybe maybe it's the the aipocalypse is happening to the cam girls I'm not sure if we're there yet? Yes, the Ai the Apple vision pro.
[46:55] Keith: Like I feel like it should be measured in months. Not years.
[47:01] Mike: Combined with something is going to.
[47:01] Keith: I Mean you can tell I mean it's not released to the public yet. But you can give a prompt to chat gbt and it will generate a video I mean how far can we be from what men really want there.
[47:11] Mike: Right? Oh why saw an article like yesterday I think about ah teenagers I look I don't want to see teen porn so me just say that up front I was curious about the tool I wanted to see the tool.
[47:25] Keith: Ah, sure thing.
[47:28] Mike: Um, well yeah, ah teenagers basically taking pictures of classmates and then using those to make pornographic pictures via Ai.
[47:38] Keith: Yeah, there are already lots of services where you can upload pictures of yourself. In fact, I've been getting advertisements for this on Instagram ah you can I can upload pictures of myself and then it will make dating app photos for for me. So it'll it'll.
[47:44] Mike: Um, okay.
[47:52] Keith: Show me doing like fun things with friends and whatever they think the optimal dating profile pictures look like it'll generate for you kind of clever. Ah I haven't time but I should.
[47:52] Mike: Huh.
[47:58] Mike: Wow I Never even thought of that one. Okay, you haven't you haven't tried it Well I assume it's me one. Yeah.
[48:07] Keith: I'm pretty happy with my dating photos and I've heard good things about them. So and I've vetted them on photo feeler in other places. So I don't think that's my mitigating factor here. Yeah.
[48:14] Mike: Your weak suit. Yeah I know it would be it. It would just be interesting to see how how good they I mean they may not be that good yet but they will be.
[48:21] Keith: Yeah, yeah, anyway, yeah, the point we're making here is is that this coming I actually have a Ai topic. Are you ready? Okay, this person says I shared my std test results with a potential sex partner and they ran my results through an Ai app that incorrectly flagged my document is being doctored.
[48:28] Mike: Um, okay yeah.
[48:39] Keith: 2 concerns first does that mean my private unredacted std results are now stored in some public database with my name and address completely visible that can't be legal to store and publish my hippa protected health information can it. Ah yes, it does now it's highly unlikely that would ever see the light of day. But.
[48:44] Mike: Yes.
[48:59] Keith: If you have a friend that works at that Ai company they could potentially see it second. The person claimed that the Ai app that they used reported that dates and test results in my document had been tampered with I literally gave them the unaltered pdf. Okay I'm not interested in talking about why the Ai might have been confused here. We all. We know that ai hallucinates. But.
[49:00] Mike: Yeah.
[49:18] Keith: Ah, yeah, this sounds like a fairly sophisticated woman to think to use an Ai to check now she might be lying the Ai might might might not have said I think the ai would say I can't tell if this has been doctored but I can imagine an ai hallucinating and say yes, it looks like this has been doctored.
[49:34] Mike: Um I I still don't understand what the Ai did so the the point of the ai go ahead? Yeah, okay, okay.
[49:36] Keith: Oh he uploaded his std results. He says he uploaded or he sent her the actual pdf so he uploaded a pdf to chat tbt I think chat gbt can take images I presume it can take Pdfs and then the prompt she gave it was probably does this look like it's been altered.
[49:49] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[49:54] Mike: And it said yes.
[49:56] Keith: And that's sort of the clever thing I mean I it has occurred to me that you could change the date on Sdd results. So if somebody was like oh I'd like us to get tested before we have sex you could just.
[50:07] Mike: Um, sure.
[50:11] Mike: Is this not so hang on because you're so the protocol for this remains I Assume the real protocol is you just say hey I was tested and people don't look. That's probably the number the most likely. Okay.
[50:14] Keith: You could just not get tested and then change the date on an old result.
[50:26] Keith: No, the the number one protocol is nobody it pis people and talk about it and then number 2 is you say you're clean and then 3 which is the thing that people should actually do is you say? Okay, let's get let's both get tested and then we'll share our results and then we'll ah.
[50:29] Mike: Okay, fine. That's number 1 number 2 would be you just say you right.
[50:42] Mike: Okay, but you have this but you have this problem so you have this problem so when you've when you've been in a relationship where you get to level 3 Ah.
[50:42] Keith: Bump huggles.
[50:50] Mike: What is the protocol is it is it a Pdf that you share is it a hey we love you you I'll log on in front of you so you can see that I'm on the site like that.
[50:58] Keith: Yeah, the recommendation everybody had on the subreddit was don't send her your actual results just show her on your phone. Um, this doesn't come up very often I.
[51:05] Mike: What do you do? I'm just curious What what? what? like or is this so seldom does it get to this point. Ok ok I was just curious because this seems like a problem that could it seems like a.
[51:13] Keith: I can imagine me sending a screenshot in the past.
[51:19] Keith: The the.
[51:21] Mike: Problem that could be like sort of solved right? because I mean all all you really need is like ah the ability for the person to go to the third party website and go to a Url and see it. Yes, yes, seems not that complicated to solve. Yeah, there's some some link.
[51:26] Keith: Yeah, they should generate a token or something a 1 time use token or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[51:38] Mike: You Click and it shows you The person's name date of births a few other things and the results and and and presumably it's from this trusted source. So you know you could also I don't want to like go too far on this but you could put it on the blockchain too.
[51:44] Keith: Yeah, they could watermark it in some way too. Anyway, yeah this this this is a solvable problem.
[51:56] Keith: Ah, yeah, yeah, but you would have to see that it was it was placed there by the the medical center right? right.
[51:56] Mike: An immutable Sti Ledger but
[52:04] Mike: No I'm yeah of course you wouldn't want that because then it would be public. The blockchain is also public. Um I saw I saw a ticktock the other day of a woman who was kind of a sad story that she um like in 2018 got got a really bad flu for like a month and then.
[52:19] Keith: K.
[52:23] Mike: She got pregnant this last year and learned that she because she's in the U K and when you get pregnant. There's a battery of tests that everybody kind of is required to get and she learned that she's h I v positive so basically back in like 20182017 something like that someone gave her h I v and.
[52:34] Keith: Whoa.
[52:40] Mike: The the typical thing that happens when you get h ev it's very common to get like kind of a flu like reaction at first like that. Yeah, and so she got that and just it's of course you know this is a terrible way to find out because then there's the whole issue of like will it be passed on to a kid and like you know, well, it's just a terrible situation all around.
[52:42] Keith: Yes, yes, it's a pretty bad flu. Apparently.
[52:59] Mike: Um, but it just underlines the reality of this stuff like presumably. She just had sex with some guy that didn't know he was positive probably and there you go? Um, so this kind of stuff can't happen.
[53:11] Keith: Yeah, yeah, um I wonder if she I mean it's sort of next level to put it through an Ai app and if it flagged.
[53:29] Keith: This person goes on to say that ah the person went nuts on them and called him like ah, a dirty liar and and he didn't have a chance to say hey the Ai might might have had a false positive.
[53:36] Mike: Um, ah.
[53:42] Keith: Now she might have been lying about the ai having a false positive but sort of weird that she asked him to get an std test in the first place but maybe she got cold feet and this was her way out.
[53:49] Mike: I Wouldn't think that an ai would be that good at telling you if a document's been doctored like that that seems.
[53:54] Keith: I think what it's looking for Mike is the kerning around the letters not kerning. Kerning is something in a font. The the the like no like if you if you like manually edit.
[54:04] Mike: Um, okay, it's like the spacing that the the top and bottom spacing left and right spacing are are sure.
[54:13] Keith: Like a Jpeg then the compression artifacts around the the edited text will will look like I think this is something that an Ai could actually very easily tell if it if it was an egregious forging.
[54:25] Mike: Yeah, also because the person would do it in the simplest possible way. They just take a screenshot and like use Ms paint or whatever crappy software they have to like paste over and yeah, who would that That's pretty yeah is that sociopathic I guess to to doctor.
[54:31] Keith: Right? right? right.
[54:40] Keith: To what run it through an Ai. Oh.
[54:43] Mike: To doctor an sdi test. That's because you've gone to that you've said okay, fine I'll do it I'll do the test and then you lie and by the way it would have to I guess it would have to be herpes or HIV because it would have to be something not fixable like nobody would ever presumably do that for like gonorrhea because you could just say look.
[54:50] Keith: Yeah.
[54:59] Keith: Or Syphilis or Chlamydia and most people who get one of those things get tested again after to make sure that the antibiotics worked.
[55:03] Mike: Yeah.
[55:07] Mike: Yeah, sure. So although I guess I guess you could imagine somebody doing that if they have it. They got the antibiotics and they want. Yeah and I know because you just wait till you that got a negative test and then that's the test you would show So it's a little hard to understand.
[55:21] Keith: Yeah, although there could be date discrepancies because you tested negative for all the other things before and now there's this 1 thing a month later
[55:30] Mike: This is this is so adversarial that it feels to me this this. The claim is this is a these This is a couple that was dating this feels like an escorts an escort situation to me because it's so adversarial like oh you know I just.
[55:38] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[55:46] Mike: I'm I'm willing to basically do anything to fuck this hot chick that I want to that I'm paying for including lying about this and also an escort ah would be more likely to do things like put it through an ai and be suspicious like that right because she's.
[55:49] Keith: Yeah.
[56:03] Mike: She's used to all kinds of wool being pulled out over her eyes.
[56:04] Keith: Yeah, but if the Ai was often getting this wrong. It wouldn't have been the first time she'd experienced this.
[56:10] Mike: Well maybe it's just the fruit. Maybe I don't know maybe you did doctorate? Yeah I'm not yeah I don't really I have no insight into how this kind of stuff works with like an escort if they say hey I want a recent sdi test.
[56:16] Keith: Yeah I don't know.
[56:27] Keith: Yeah, is there. Ah a caliber of X Escort that will have condomless sex with you if you produce a Sti test.
[56:34] Mike: I Don't know the the claim on ah on the having fun hobbying subreddit. Ah which is now dead but it was folks who would frequent escorts was that basically all escorts will have conmless sex with you.
[56:45] Keith: Yeah.
[56:52] Keith: Yeah, but those folks are not getting the $10000 call girl.
[56:53] Mike: So is the claim is that the that it's well that's true. That's true. That's a fair point you you? yeah.
[57:00] Keith: But I would think the $10000 call girl would be extra safe I don't know I really don't know because because if you have if you're a $10000 call girl. You probably have a few Johns.
[57:08] Mike: Um, yeah I mean generally sdi tests.
[57:16] Keith: If you if you mess up once and give all of them an Sti like that's ah, it's probably really hard to cultivate a book of business again.
[57:25] Mike: Well yeah, and your time and yeah, everything is just way too valuable at that point So you'd think and also as a guy if you're paying that much money you kind of. Ah yeah I mean you'd You'd be like hey why? why don't We just do this. Ah.
[57:28] Keith: Yeah.
[57:41] Mike: And they do have I know ah I don't know why but I know that there are these. There's this thing called Talent testing Tti Talent testing s service Anyway, it's this thing where you can Basically it's for porn stars and you can get tested like kind of quickly. Ah you go in and.
[57:51] Keith: Aha.
[57:59] Mike: I don't know how quickly the results come back, but it's it's it's it's fast 48 hours some some very quick time turn turn on because for a porn star. You would you would need that right because they get tested weekly monthly like really calm really frequently.
[58:03] Keith: Huh.
[58:10] Keith: I think it's weekly I I briefly dated that porn star years ago and I don't remember the details but there were different companies and some companies had much more stringent onerous requirements than others. And if you got I don't remember exactly. But if you if you got an actor from one of these studios and 1 from another were complicated negotiated agreements. But yeah, they basically all operated in ah in a. Safety molecule aha ahha right? Unlike exit except that guy that it was certain that you were that we' met on the.
[58:49] Mike: Yeah, so check this out the it's talent testing service I'm not sure what why I know this I'm not a porn star. Ah sadly, um.
[59:04] Mike: Yeah, we did meet a guy he but but he was It was a man and a death. He definitely thought I was a gay porn star. So not not what I wanted to be. But yeah, so these guys um so a couple things about it talent testing service. This is what should exist Probably you know.
[59:07] Keith: Yeah, yeah, he was sort of sheepish in the conversation but he was certain.
[59:21] Mike: Culturew Wide because they have a system where you can you have an account you can give your you can make your results available to an agent like it's's I mean you can just see on the site that it's very it's nicely set up so you can like you can sort of share them ah in a way that people will trust it because it's coming from the site but it says for example, if they pick up in Miami.
[59:28] Keith: Um, yeah.
[59:41] Mike: At seven am M Eastern time they will get you results? No the yeah, they'll get the results same day by one thirty p m eastern time so you can so you can be fucking yeah and a debate is well yeah, they're sending this stuff. So I mean they have Las Vegas Northridge which is in ah near l a Orlando.
[59:46] Keith: Nice and so they have access to centrifuges or whatever they need to do the testing.
[01:00:01] Mike: They basically have like these side. It's they're they've got Miami ah Las Vegas Northridge Orlando Fort lauderdale no I'm thinking it's where the point where porns tend to be filmed. Um.
[01:00:01] Keith: Um, where else wait where else.
[01:00:06] Keith: New York I bet there's legal requirements keeping them out of New York yeah
[01:00:18] Mike: Las Vegas is great I mean really like.
[01:00:20] Keith: Vegas and and l a makes sense. Maybe yeah, maybe there's a porn filming community in Orlando I don't know about.
[01:00:24] Mike: But but if you get it if you get your blood drawn by four p m by four p m in Las Vegas you don't get the data until 7 a m the next day so you're not going to be fucking yet. But but if I if I were a high end escort. Yeah and I'm ah yeah.
[01:00:35] Keith: Um, you're out of commission for a night. Well, you could just forge the date.
[01:00:41] Mike: Will be the whole point of this thing is not to do that and if ah look they'll probably come to your studio or what like if you were a high end escort. This is actually a really nice I Would recommend this. Let's see here I'm sure well you can purchase testing credits. Ah.
[01:00:49] Keith: Um, yeah, that seems like a good service. Does it have cost.
[01:01:01] Mike: Ah I'm not immediately seeing. Oh no, no here it is one hundred and ninety dollars hundred and ninety dollars for the for the gold standard panel. It's $190 ah but that includes $35 for shipping um because they yeah because they have to they do for the goals then you can you can go up from that for two hundred and forty dollars
[01:01:02] Keith: Get Eleven eleven for the price of 10
[01:01:13] Keith: Shipping.
[01:01:19] Mike: You add in a throat swab and a rectal swab and then yeah.
[01:01:23] Keith: Yeah, when I was getting ah when I got my last Std test they asked if I wanted to get a throat swab and and and a rectal swab and I said no and no and they were like well we really recommend I was like I understand but.
[01:01:28] Mike: No rectal swab though.
[01:01:40] Keith: I'm a heterosexual man. So.
[01:01:41] Mike: Um, what would what I understand what the rectal swab is for what's the throat swab for. Do they explain it.
[01:01:47] Keith: Ah, there's something I don't know if it was herpes or Gonorrhea or Chlamydia There was something that can link it at link live in your mouth as well I looked it up and.
[01:01:54] Mike: Could linger in your throat. But your general thought was that was for men giving who give oral to aldermen.
[01:02:05] Keith: It's not really necessary for heterosexual men.
[01:02:07] Mike: All right? and for our international listeners. There also is a these people also have ah an office and in in Budapest.
[01:02:14] Keith: That's a shock of course all right? Let's wrap this up that'll do it for this episode of your mileage may vary. You can send us feedback or questions to Ymmvpodat Gmail.com if you ask us a question. Let us know if you don't want us to use it on the air. Again, that's ymmvpod at Gmail.com we pay $10 for any and all feedback received so just let us have it thanks for listening and we'll catch you next week on your mileage may vary.

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Episode 163: Female Orgasm Blame Game, Sex Toy Surprise, STI Test Forgeries, Is It Semen?

Episode Transcript