Your Mileage May Vary: Cleaning Her Toys Orally, Reverse Cuckolding, Foursome Infidelity

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[0:07] Keith: Yeah, well, there's there's a second order thing. So, like on the first order, they probably think they want to this. But yeah, like, I don't even
[0:34] Mike: think most women think they want that. I think women A what they want is never to think about masturbating well, right, like it's just a negative thing. It's like if women had to. If women had to truly come to grips with the amount of stroking his cock men do, I think would be hard to live. It would be like, Oh my God, there's just seeming everywhere
[0:48] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. I am Keith, This is Mike. Welcome. And we are a podcast about sex and relationships that primarily focuses on the former. While occasionally brushing up on the ladder,
[0:56] Keith: we painstakingly scour the Internet for the critical sex related topics of our time and bring them to you with a charming blend of humor, analysis and personal stories.
[1:06] Keith: We are always looking for feedback, and if you email us honestly back to y m m v pod at gmail dot com, we will send you $10 no questions asked.
[1:15] Keith: You can also send us your questions there, and we'll tackle the interesting ones on the show. Anonymous, of course. Again, that's why. Mm. Peapod at gmail dot com.
[1:23] Keith: Um, Mike, I was thinking about something on my run this morning. Do you find that running Affect your sex drive at all?
[1:25] Mike: Yes. Um,
[1:31] Mike: e think that if I think when you get above a certain amount of running per week, it lowers it,
[1:32] Keith: Yeah,
[1:36] Keith: I find that to, um,
[1:40] Keith: what's going on there is, like, the testosterone getting burned up or something.
[1:42] Mike: I don't know. I mean, I think that, um,
[1:47] Mike: dieting also does that. So if you're trying to sort of be fit and
[2:16] Mike: s I think the point being that, like, a lot of a lot of times those two things go together, and so I'm not sure which one is the more relevant eso in the reason I say that. Is that diet, like you can see, like, an evolutionary thing there, right? Like if you're not getting enough food, you don't wanna produce Children. Uh, exercise. Yeah, is less clear, like, and I and I is I'm not totally sure there because I suspect the diet or sort of losing weight is the more important factor. And the reason I say that is I think weightlifting tends to do the opposite
[2:20] Keith: because weightlifting increases some sort of hormone generated.
[2:28] Mike: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, it's like gonna be testosterone uh, producing or what I look, I don't know. I know anything about human e
[2:37] Keith: don't know about enough about the chemistry here, but yeah, like, I guess my suspicion is that cardio lowers testosterone in the short term and some sort of way. Or at least that's my
[2:39] Keith: anecdotal perception.
[2:40] Keith: Yeah, I
[2:55] Mike: know. It's a meaningful. It's it's a meaningful thing like you can Yeah, you can tell. And I Yeah, I always in my mind described it toe like, Yeah, like if you if you're a little bit overweight and then your body is like, Hey, this guy's got a lot of it's got He's got a lot of food around so he can
[3:14] Keith: have extra resource Is Thio to reproduce with, um doesn't work the opposite. So does does having sex, you know, you know, in Rocky, you know, famously, Mick tells Rocky, you know no women or whatever. Um, does having sex lower athletic performance because you're consuming some sort of
[3:16] Keith: important hormone. Yeah, I don't
[3:19] Mike: know. I've read. I mean, I've read things that suggested it's just your relevant
[3:28] Keith: right? Yeah, me too. So I know it's going to impact. I know hockey players will often not have sex for the entire playoffs.
[3:35] Keith: Um, and a lot of NBA players were sort of forced to do that this year because of the bubble. Um
[3:39] Mike: oh, they didn't have, like, the ability to have a woman penetrate the bubble.
[3:49] Keith: There were There were some scandals, like a kicked out because they like it introduced are he invited some INSTAGRAM model into the bubble, or I can't remember
[3:57] Mike: exactly what, but they didn't they, they seriously didn't have, because I don't follow this as closely as you do, but like they played the entire season in a bubble, right?
[4:09] Keith: No, they paused to the season, and then they resumed. They played eight more regular season games, and then the playoffs started, and then the final four teams were allowed to bring, like four family members or something.
[4:16] Mike: Got it, and they had to be family members. They couldn't be like a guy who's single couldn't just be like Look, I'm bringing for four hos.
[4:25] Keith: I'm not sure what the what? The criteria were there, but they did have criteria. It couldn't be for people who slid into your instagram gm's.
[4:26] Keith: That's
[4:36] Mike: too bad. Yeah, I was thinking e could see the players saying, Look, I have four women, and importantly, they need to not know about each other e three, only one.
[4:37] Keith: They need to be in
[4:40] Mike: four different hotel rooms. And that's right. Well, they could afford it.
[4:46] Keith: Yeah. Um okay, So, uh,
[4:59] Keith: have, like, like, a suite of topics that brush up on topics we've talked around lately. So the three, I guess our there's some stuff about, like, threesomes and foursomes that I think it's sort of interesting.
[5:00] Keith: There's stuff about,
[5:10] Keith: um, tasting one's own semen tasting when a partner is turned on and, like, cleaning vaginal juice off of sex objects.
[5:16] Keith: And then well, okay, yeah, Let's start with one of those. One of those two. Where would you like to go? All
[5:19] Mike: I was assuming it was just gonna be three different takes on anal
[5:27] Keith: now waiting for were fully wrestled that to the ground for at least two episodes. I think we have a Anil moratorium. Yeah,
[5:37] Mike: I mean the craziest one. Well, I don't know, because, you know, there's a tendency to think the thing you saw the most recently is the craziest, but the cleaning the juice one seemed pretty crazy.
[5:43] Keith: Um, I wonder if I should read like, all three of these or if we should.
[5:48] Keith: Mhm. Well, it's tricky. Yeah, all right. I'll do the I'll do the
[5:59] Keith: the cleaning one. So all right, this person says I This is a 23 year old female like when my boyfriend uses toys in my vagina and cleans them with his mouth,
[6:05] Keith: she writes, after my boyfriend uses are vibrator or dildo on me. I generally know he's going to make me clean it in my mouth,
[6:26] Keith: enjoys this show. And I love giving him the show, too. I also don't mind how I taste either. That sentences were three other night. He made me come with my dildo and it was covered in my juices. I decided he was going to clean it for me. I got so turned on watching him clean that dildo with his mouth. I was wet for so many reasons, really made me want to give him a great blowjob. And I loved his subservience to me.
[6:31] Keith: This is all I could think about most of the day. For some reason, it was just so hot.
[6:33] Keith: Is this mutually pleasurable,
[6:39] Mike: E? I mean, there's a topic there that I think is interesting to start with, which is like this, uh,
[6:44] Mike: like, yeah, my impression is that women typically don't mind,
[6:51] Mike: typically, don't mind going between their vagina and their mouth. Is that your experience?
[6:53] Keith: That is my experience. Like,
[6:54] Mike: it's just totally irrelevant to them, which is a
[6:56] Keith: little I find that it's a little
[6:58] Mike: surprising, actually. Like, just
[7:12] Keith: Yeah. I mean, you know my opinion on consuming my own ejaculate, which I, which I have never done. And so this notion of like and I've also never tasted my urine. Oh, have you tasted your urine?
[7:14] Mike: I don't know the answer to that.
[7:18] Keith: Okay, So you probably not. Yeah, I mean, right, exactly. The reason
[7:27] Mike: I say I don't know is because it z it's possible. And I was, like, 12 or something, You know what I mean? Like, I don't I just don't know. Okay? Not as an adult. No.
[7:39] Keith: Okay. okay? Um, yeah, Well, anyway, that Yeah, like, I don't like consuming things that come out of my Penis. And, um yeah, like this notion of being totally okay consuming,
[7:43] Keith: You know, vaginal lubrication is like a weird
[7:46] Keith: think like, Well, I don't. First of
[7:52] Mike: all, I don't think that it's analogous Thio Thio eating your semen. I think it's analogous,
[7:57] Keith: like a perfect overlap, but I mean it. Zero. No, I think there
[8:05] Mike: is an overlap. It's it's it's analogous to like you haven't finished yet. She's giving you a blow and you kiss her so there's some fluid in there from your Penis
[8:07] Mike: to me. It's analogous to that.
[8:09] Keith: Pre come. Yeah.
[8:11] Keith: Yeah,
[8:13] Keith: I guess.
[8:19] Keith: I mean, the volume of pre com is is materially less. I mean, I've I've visit and with women.
[8:22] Keith: Yeah, I think so.
[8:27] Mike: Yeah. I have no idea what the volume of what comes out of a woman is because, I mean, it's sort of smeared all over the place, you know? I
[8:35] Keith: mean, it doesn't take very much. I don't really know either. Yeah, I have noticed it. It's a lubricant. So, like, you know, a little bit goes a long way Yeah,
[8:38] Mike: it seems to dry up for a fairly quickly, which makes you think it's not a very thick layer.
[8:46] Keith: It's a good point. That's a fair point. Um, but I mean, I've I've seen plenty of women who
[8:55] Keith: will, um, you know, lick themselves off of my fingers or like, use their own fingers and lick them like it's not
[8:58] Keith: like I've I've seen that happen many times. So my
[9:15] Mike: impression generally, is that it's the woman assuming are they correctly that it's something the guy likes? I think that for frankly, I think that a lot of being a woman in sex is that is like figuring out what the guy likes and doing it. Yeah, as opposed to like having something that
[9:18] Keith: they're not at home when they're masturbating
[9:21] Keith: tasting themselves.
[9:33] Mike: I bet it happens, but I bet it's not. I mean, it's just like, you know, what I've read is that the relatively few women masturbate and do any penetration like that's not what they dio like. They just I mean, even if you if you watch,
[9:40] Mike: uh, kind of more amateur women masturbating porn's like, yeah, they don't They're not jamming their fingers in and out of themselves, right?
[9:42] Keith: Well,
[9:47] Keith: I mean again, there's lots of performative things going on when you're watching stuff online. Sure
[9:54] Mike: I'm talking about I'm telling you like, let's say, a woman who's not clearly, like maybe not important star, like somebody who's less on less attractive. So
[9:59] Keith: e think there are some women who have G spot orgasms?
[10:15] Keith: Um oh, sure, I'm sure. Yeah, that's true. And so, you know, they prefer some sort of penetration, but I think it's, you know, it's Zaleski in half. It's significant. That's right. Most people prefer clitoral stimulation. Um,
[10:23] Keith: yeah. All right, so All right. So this this woman likes it when she watches the mail. Alright. So
[10:25] Keith: I can imagine
[10:28] Keith: I can't imagine. I mean, I've done this like, um
[10:44] Keith: putting my fingers inside of a partner and then licking them as a sort of show of, you know, like, Oh, you know, I find you so attractive, you know, this is, you know, in the way you taste is so good that you know I can't resist. All right, That's the thing that I have done that that makes sense. Does
[10:48] Mike: it heighten your arousal, though? Or do you? I mean, honestly, Like,
[10:52] Keith: arousal is weird, man. Like in those moments
[10:59] Keith: somewhat. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. It depends. Not Not always, but sometimes, Um
[11:05] Keith: and then All right, so this person idea Do you even want to say that you're going to say no? Right.
[11:07] Mike: Say what? That I don't like to do that.
[11:11] Keith: Or you don't think that heightens your arousal?
[11:13] Mike: Well,
[11:37] Mike: um, I think that I mean, look, e think there's things that are sort of the fastball down the middle on the fastball down the middle is the guys like to have the woman like stuff off having himself to it. It's sort of like, What's the point? I mean, like, it's, you know, it's fine. I don't know, but no, it doesn't like I would I would much rather like use it toe loop if I was in my fingers in there much rather use it to lubricate my Penis.
[11:45] Keith: Sure. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. There's a discussed just moments ago. Yeah, there's a limited amount, you know, Want to race that resource. Um,
[11:50] Mike: well, it's just sort of entertaining and also, like, No, I mean like it. You know, it's ah,
[12:01] Mike: you know, maybe fluids to lubricate your cock in that situation might be in short supply, right? I mean, yeah, assuming you're not using an artificial lubricant, it's like you have saliva. I mean, there aren't that many things to use,
[12:06] Keith: Right? Right. Right. Okay. But this person
[12:08] Keith: is.
[12:14] Keith: I mean, it's not clear this isn't the most well written person ever. So But
[12:22] Keith: this person is saying that he cleans the dildo with his mouth after he used it on her.
[12:23] Keith: Yeah, one saying
[12:29] Mike: that. Yes, the woman saying she's into him having him do that. Is that right?
[12:31] Mike: Yes.
[12:33] Mike: Yeah. So that's a little unusual to me.
[12:36] Keith: Okay, well, I mean, there's some There's some display of, like, fealty here, right? I
[12:39] Mike: think that she wants to see him give a blow.
[12:42] Mike: Let's just go straight to the point here. Like, I think she
[12:45] Mike: Yeah, like, I saw horn once where there was a guy, and
[12:47] Keith: actually, it was
[12:49] Keith: It wasn't It was kind of
[12:56] Mike: hot, Sort of. I mean, it wasn't e don't know. It wasn't my exactly my cup of tea, but yeah, it was basically a woman with a strap on. And the guy was
[12:57] Keith: the guy giving a blow.
[12:58] Mike: It was another woman.
[13:05] Mike: It was another woman, I think. But anyway, the point is that, like, the fact that it was a strap on wasn't that didn't make it bad.
[13:15] Mike: Uh, it was enjoyable to watch. I think it was a woman doing it. I don't I don't I don't like as you know, I think I don't like watching men give blowjobs because of the whole semen mustache thing.
[13:20] Keith: Yeah, I don't like Yeah, that's a number of reasons why I don't
[13:28] Mike: enjoy watching that. Just for me is that specific thing. Like, for whatever reasons, semen in a man's mustache like I just cannot tolerate.
[13:32] Keith: Yeah, the masculinity of like, a man's mouth is just
[13:33] Keith: It's
[13:38] Mike: the mustache that makes it to it's It makes it too much for me. And then I'm always afraid
[13:41] Keith: you find a clean shaven
[13:41] Keith: look.
[14:11] Mike: I mean, when you look when you have there, um, let me see. Uh, you one could film. Ah, glory hole porn in such a way. Oh, gosh, they don't do this, but you could imagine filming a glory hole porn in such a way that you're not sure whether it's a man or a woman giving and And if you go to a glory hole is a man. It's always a man. Just want to be clear on that. Yeah, No women service, man. Yeah, that's why they call it Manning a Gloria. Because it's something where there's no women manning the Gloria Well,
[14:15] Keith: woman in the glory hole. Alright, Yeah,
[14:24] Mike: my take on this. Is that the woman? Yeah. What's really going on here, I think is the woman has some sort of kink or fetish and wants to see gay stuff happen, which I
[14:30] Keith: think happens. That's actually not where I went when I read this, like my reading waas. She just liked the
[14:31] Keith: the
[14:35] Keith: you know, the subservience of like watching him,
[14:37] Keith: uh,
[14:41] Keith: you know, clean various objects that had her her fluids on it.
[14:44] Mike: Specifically a dildo, though, was it was at various objects.
[14:52] Keith: She says After my boyfriend uses our vibrator or dildo on me, I generally know he's going to make me clean it in my mouth.
[15:00] Keith: He enjoys the show. I enjoyed the show with blah, blah, blah. Uh, but yeah, she reversed this. I decided he was going to clean it for me.
[15:00] Keith: I always
[15:37] Mike: think you know, I mean, women probably have some idea. I mean, look, well, put it this way. Women know much better than the man their partner, unless they know each other. Really well, Kind of what the status of their vagina is on dso there. You know, I imagine there's certain times of the month when the woman I don't just mean her period. I mean, like, around that where the woman maybe wouldn't want to interact with what's coming out of there, Uh, on dso like me. Maybe she's just like, yeah, you know, there's a I just I I know that yesterday it was fucking disgusting in there. So So I'll let you clean it this
[15:45] Keith: time. Wow, that Z Yeah. You never thought about that before?
[15:48] Keith: I guess they do have an information advantage, Of course.
[15:55] Mike: And so, like, I mean, a woman knows, Like, Look, I mean, yeah, if you are going out on a date with a young lady and
[16:04] Mike: her period and two days ago and you're gonna have sex like she has in her mind what was going on down there two days ago? You don't right? And so it's It's
[16:11] Keith: both an advantage and a disadvantage You can't tell. You don't want to know what you don't know can hurt you, right? Right.
[16:22] Mike: I mean, well, but if you if you were going on a date and you and only you knew that two days ago, you've got a paper cut on your cock and it was bleeding furiously, Mhm, she wouldn't know that.
[16:24] Mike: But you know that there was some damage.
[16:28] Keith: Yeah, sure. Or like you just got over a yeast infection, right?
[16:28] Keith: Yeah,
[16:51] Mike: or whatever. Like, Yeah, like, maybe he is a guy. You had a jock itch, and you put cream on it and it's gone now, but like, there was some sort of some, you know, whatever Cem coloration or something that was kind of gross two days ago. Yeah, there's this information thing, and and and for a woman, it could be a disadvantage in the sense that, like, she she might not really want to taste what's coming out of there. Right then. I've actually had that thought numerous times in my life.
[16:58] Mike: But like you, I wonder about that. Like whether women like, kind of track that don't know like, oh, yeah, it's gonna be gross right now.
[17:12] Keith: Well, I think some women would That would make them insecure. And like, they wouldn't want sexual contact or at least someone to go down on them. And like, other you think you think some women would be like, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna, like, demean him by making him
[17:12] Keith: this
[17:16] Mike: is because No, this is just This is just like, this is what happens when, like,
[17:34] Mike: do you overlay different things like this is just me being a sociopath. On top of what? Yeah. So, like, yeah, I'm basically being like, Oh, look what I could impose on the other person. Yeah. Look, look, this gross thing I could do to someone else, and I'm imagining that is a woman which, as you said it, I realized, like almost no women or zero women would do that.
[17:37] Keith: This is his woman might terrorist, you know,
[17:51] Mike: right. They would totally internalized and be upset about it when they think it was cool. Right? Although I don't know if, like, look, you wouldn't probably think it was cool if you had a cold sore on your Penis toe. Whatever. Something wrong with it to be like a I got her to give me a blow anyway,
[18:00] Keith: right? Yeah, Well, I mean, yeah, that one's a bit charge because you're giving someone in a study like this to be something more innocuous than that. Like
[18:04] Mike: maybe a mosquito bite. Yeah, whatever. You know, poison oak.
[18:06] Keith: There you go. There you go. A
[18:09] Mike: poison oak blow. I have masturbated with poison oak before.
[18:14] Keith: How have you gotten poison oak there? Seriously?
[18:17] Keith: I mean, uh,
[18:20] Keith: you might not being creative enough here. Like what?
[18:26] Mike: I don't think you've ever had poison oak. You're a city dweller,
[18:40] Mike: or you might be immune. Actually, maybe that. But it's very common for a man because, like, let's say I mean, I'm, uh I think one of the top people in the world that knowing what poison it looks like now because I've gotten it so many times that I avoided, uh,
[18:44] Keith: well, you're always traipsing through trail runs in the woods to, So it's
[19:03] Mike: true. But I've I'm aggressive when we actually we were in Utah recently, and I learned that they have poison ivy there, and ah, I had I spent 20 minutes doing just like studying the leaves to make sure I wouldn't get. Anyway, The thing that happens is let's so let's say the typical thing is like you. You know, you grab a stick or whatever it turns out as poison. Okay, Now you've got on your hand
[19:12] Mike: now very frequent. When a man is out in the woods, he needs to pee. So you pee, and then you just rub it all over your cock.
[19:20] Mike: And the thing is that it itches. And so you're you know, it lasts about two weeks, right? So you're thinking in the middle of those two weeks you're thinking to yourself, Well,
[19:29] Mike: my cock itches. Yeah. So there's this thing that I could do that feels good to my cock. That's sort of like scratching
[19:34] Keith: Does it? Does it enhance masturbation? No, it's terrible. But I mean, like, given that
[19:49] Mike: the poison of last two weeks and of course, no woman is gonna go near that winds up being kind of obligatory. And it's I would say it's the closest thing to the sandpaper blow job I've ever had. Okay, it's sort of reluctant. You're like
[19:53] Keith: Well, yeah, has to be done. You've had
[19:55] Mike: the experience. I'm sure of
[20:07] Mike: masturbating when you have, like, a headache. Yeah, and it does like there's a short people talk about this son. Read it online like there's there's maybe five minutes when you're getting close. When the headache in my experience goes away,
[20:09] Mike: then you come.
[20:16] Mike: And then right afterward, the headache comes back. Maybe 50% worse than it was five minutes before and my experience.
[20:16] Mike: So
[20:19] Keith: yeah, I mean, I heard of that. I think
[20:28] Keith: arousal increases blood. Folks generally around the body. So, you know, probably including the head. And I think headaches can often be like related to
[20:29] Keith: blood flow in your brain.
[20:32] Mike: Oh, I just think it's the endorphins of an orgasm.
[20:36] Keith: Well, there's there's there's all kinds of chemicals as well, right?
[20:40] Mike: So, I mean, if you're one of these women who can have 100 orgasms in a row,
[20:43] Mike: they're Ugo. There's your headache solution.
[20:53] Keith: Let's just keep going. Um, okay. Yeah. Look, I guess we just don't know why this woman likes watching the dude like the dildo clean. I mean, if you do you ever use still does on chicks? No,
[20:59] Keith: ever. All right. But I mean what I know usually what?
[21:00] Keith: Because
[21:03] Mike: you know, because you're worried it will be bigger than you.
[21:07] Keith: I mean, art dildos definition Aly bigger now.
[21:15] Keith: Now I really like people. Go out and buy like a you know, foreign inch for inch. Still, though I think that a woman would looking for I think a
[21:27] Mike: woman would like it doesn't matter that much. No, it's I think it's guys that motivate, like the eight huge dildo because the guy wants to see the vagina wrapped around something. Some huge piece of meat, right? The woman you know,
[21:29] Mike: I don't think it's so important to her,
[21:31] Keith: huh?
[21:32] Keith: Okay.
[21:34] Keith: I mean, uh,
[21:38] Keith: I don't have one in my house, so this would have to be, like,
[21:42] Keith: you know, like, a thing that the that my partner had.
[21:44] Keith: Um, right,
[21:50] Keith: but yeah, yeah, I've I've had partners that have, um it's just not
[21:54] Keith: my favorite in the bag of tricks of things to dio while having sex.
[22:00] Mike: Well, I mean, where I was going with that was like, let's say a woman asked you to do this. How would you take it?
[22:02] Keith: Oh.
[22:05] Keith: Ah,
[22:08] Keith: I guess I would. I mean,
[22:11] Keith: I would I guess I would
[22:14] Keith: like What does she mean by clean it like, are we? Is this like,
[22:27] Keith: like how clean? Like, um, I am. I like licking at once, just toe. You know, show that like, Oh, I'm so into the way she tastes that, you know, like licking this weird plastic object, or are we,
[22:35] Keith: like, actually getting it, You know, sanitized with my saliva? Like how? How much is this person cleaning it? I wasn't
[22:50] Mike: actually thinking of that as the Let me ask you a slightly different question. We get back to that like if you had to. If you were at, let's say it was a very lovely lady and you wanted to have sex with her. You usually like to have sex with a woman five times.
[22:57] Mike: Let's say Let's say that you're one of these men who gets tired of women after five encounters. Some men are like that. Okay, Um,
[23:04] Mike: would you clean it by Sort of looking around it, or would you put it in your mouth? That's what I wanna know.
[23:06] Mike: The dildo. Yeah. Would you basically
[23:11] Keith: give it what I fill eight the dildo, Or would I just stroke it with my tongue? Yeah. I'm trying to
[23:17] Mike: figure out how you would handle that. Would you be like, Okay? And you Just because I mean very quickly you've got a dick in your mouth,
[23:22] Keith: right? Well, And it, you know, it depends on the size of the still dough. Also,
[23:25] Mike: let's say it's normal sized.
[23:25] Mike: Why
[23:37] Keith: does it depend? Well, but I think we debate because Okay, if I can clean the dildo in one fell swoop by just inserting it in my mouth and then it's done
[23:40] Keith: fine. But if it's, you know,
[23:41] Keith: you
[23:45] Mike: would look, you would look at it purely practically you would not see any because I
[23:55] Keith: think I would like some people like on Li like making one trip from the car tow like carry groceries. That sort of your like I don't wanna be spending too much time like, you know,
[24:00] Keith: licking this dildo. So whatever I can do that like finish it. But you're missing
[24:10] Mike: the forest for the trees here, like the most men. I think in that situation being offered this, let's say it's a dildo sort of looks like a cock. It's not like a
[24:20] Mike: silvery metal thing that's totally different. I think most men would see kind of inserting it in their mouth in a blowjob like fashion in a certain way.
[24:29] Keith: Okay? They would rather tentatively lick it than than Deep throat it because they're concerned about their sexuality.
[24:29] Keith: I'm not sure
[24:34] Mike: I don't. Yeah, I'm not sure. Yeah, there'd be some kind of concern there. I think that, like,
[24:38] Mike: the whole thing kind of bums me out. I would much rather go and rinse it off in the sink.
[24:46] Keith: Yeah, me too. But yeah, I don't I don't view both acts is sort of like annoying and performative,
[25:01] Mike: but in the context of sex, like, think, if you imagine the situation mhm, it's obvious to me that if this was in the in the context of, like, the normal interaction here, what she wants is for you to do it in a suggestive way.
[25:06] Keith: It's particularly demeaning or subservient Thio
[25:10] Keith: to Deep Throat this dildo because it's it's sort of
[25:19] Mike: sort of like, you know, you're not supposed to just go. Yeah. I mean, come on. If you imagine what the is in her mind's eye, it's that it's something gay.
[25:20] Mike: Yeah, that's my take.
[25:25] Mike: I mean, even if it's not gay, it's sort of like you.
[25:26] Mike: You know,
[25:30] Mike: doing a thing that a gay person would do to show her something.
[25:36] Keith: Why would that? I mean, would that be concerning potentially?
[25:40] Mike: I think this. I think I would put this in the same bucket as, like the,
[25:43] Mike: you know, the standard thing where people, um,
[25:46] Mike: people have a threesome or they have, like a
[26:01] Mike: They try the the monster, the eight inch like sheath on their Penis. And then they find out that, like people don't realize it's concerning it. That's the second order effect, right? The first order effective. She's aroused and wants to see something hot. The second order factors. Oh, now my boyfriend's gay
[26:23] Mike: got it and like the really like And we've seen this question before, right where somebody tries an MMF threesomes and the guy gets all excited or I've seen this on the sex sober. The guy gets all excited and blows the other guy, and then the girlfriend dumps him right? She's like, I can't see you as a man anymore because you did that. I think we also saw one where
[26:25] Mike: hey
[26:42] Mike: did receptive anal sex with the guy and she's like, Yeah, that's it. And he's like, but I only did it because of you, Right? So? So the point is like I mean, there's a risk there, too. Like maybe this woman. Yeah, Like I mean, maybe a woman who thought she wanted this actually would wind up being disgusted and bummed out by it
[26:43] Mike: anyway. Yeah,
[26:52] Keith: I mean, I mean, look, I don't think there's any circumstance where you should be enthusiastically deep throat ing a dildo. Um, I mean, the only
[27:06] Mike: situation I had. Like, I mean, I mentioned last week there last episode the the thing where you Because I have done that with the banana just to see what it's like to something in the back of your throat for that situation, I think it's sort of interesting for science, for science only cute,
[27:21] Keith: right? Right, Right. Of course. Um, but yeah, like, yeah, like, I don't know. Like even a performative act that is typically considered homosexual could be concerning to a heterosexual partner.
[27:34] Keith: Okay, uh, something that's like, basically the opposite of the general things. So All right. So me 28 year old female and my boyfriend 28 had to threesomes. And now I love watching.
[27:38] Keith: We wanted to try both m f m and M F f
[27:47] Keith: And eventually we built up the nerve and did m f m first. It was fun. No guy guy stuff. So they both focused on me and I had no complaints alot l
[27:55] Keith: Then we did mff and I got so turned on watching him with the other woman. I give myself three orgasms that way.
[27:59] Keith: I had never done girl girls stuff before and wasn't sure I would like it.
[28:03] Keith: But I went down on her thinking about how it was warming her up for him and loved it.
[28:09] Keith: The next few times we had sex, I tried to get him to talk about being with her while he was fucking meat.
[28:32] Keith: At first, he wouldn't. But then he did. And I came so fast. Now, when I see women, I think my boyfriend would like I imagine her with him. I want to eat her out while she sucks him and watch them fuck. My boyfriend doesn't know what to make of this. He thinks I'm having some sort of breakdown. L o l Yeah, I know this goes the other way with guys watching, but do any women like this. So this is like the classic sort of like cut hold thing, right?
[28:34] Mike: No cut holding is the guy liking it? I
[28:42] Keith: know, but this is like female cold, right? Like she's enjoying watching her man enjoy someone else.
[28:58] Mike: Yeah, this is going to bring out the curmudgeon and me. My take is that this woman was molested or something. There's something wrong with her like this isn't it is a relatively common fantasy for men, for whatever. I don't actually share it at all, but I know it's common for men. It is not common for women
[29:29] Mike: like that's not because it just doesn't make any sense. Like the basic woman female drive is to have a relationship with a guy and have it be sort of stable and stuff. It's like it's like I don't think any women have a basic drive to have, like the least stable possible relationship with a man. It's like, Look, I just I just wanted every day, wake up and be like I have no idea who he's fucking today. There's no woman saying that unless she's had some kind of bad life experience that's changed her brain chemistry or whatever. That's my take
[29:34] Keith: trying to think. Okay. Can you simulate an argument for the other side?
[29:38] Mike: Simulate an argument for why it wouldn't be that,
[29:41] Mike: like so she's just a normal person, normal woman who
[29:50] Keith: wants the normal. This is just like some sort of standard kink and, uh, and bang other attractive people is That would
[29:56] Mike: be like she's really young and confused and hasn't yet had a shitty thing happened to her. And so, like, if you
[29:58] Mike: like, the other problem in this situation is
[30:06] Keith: that she be so, so, so sexually confident in herself, she doesn't feel threatened at all.
[30:12] Mike: Eventually the guys I'm not he doesn't have toe dump her for one of these women. Although he might,
[30:22] Mike: um, eventually something's gonna happen that she doesn't like. Like one of the things that I've noticed in these threesome situations. The women like basic, like the guy. Okay,
[30:30] Mike: Like the guys kind of vision of a threesome is like, he just does whatever he wants. I mean, guys, while you're gonna prefer the mff Ah,
[30:58] Mike: threesome. And I noticed that she called it m f m. Not mmf. Right. So it's the woman was in the middle. I caught that in her little description. Eso man once but a woman in a threesome, like often like, I mean, it's like you don't have to write up like a notarized contract like Look how maney nipples can I touch where like like, where do I have to deposit my semen? There's all these things that women care about, and that's really typical Andi. And then, of course, the guy is going to care about those things because he's terrified that he'll do the wrong thing and, you know, and she'll
[31:18] Mike: get upset, you know, afterwards, which is a thing that happens. And so the point is that he is somehow going to run afoul of one of the things she wants, and it's just not gonna work out that well and like, she just yeah, like her being like, Oh, I just just do whatever like just strike E. I mean, yeah, my other. It could be a guy wrote this the l o l zehr kind of weird to
[31:22] Keith: Well, yeah, I find that
[31:27] Keith: younger people like ending sentences with L O L. When there
[31:29] Keith: feeling uncomfortable or
[31:31] Keith: trying to convey some sort of
[31:33] Keith: yeah, are
[31:37] Mike: you saying that? It's the L O l is the like, Reddit version of up talking.
[31:39] Keith: What's up Talking?
[31:41] Keith: What?
[31:43] Keith: Really? Yeah. What's up? Talking. Do
[31:49] Mike: you know what? Do you know what Verbal fry is? Yes, I do. Okay, You know that once that's like the Kim Kardashian. Think up talking
[31:52] Keith: is where you when you like. And the sentence, every
[32:38] Mike: sense of the question. And ideo Yeah, and so that's like a really comment. So yes. So the l o l and people One of the explanations people have for it is like trying thio not feel to not seem too confident to sort of include the other person. That conversation, of course. What it really is is that people are talking like Kim Kardashian. Um, they're just modeling off of a thing they've seen. Is she classic talker? Yeah, well, when I say Kim Kardashian, I just mean, like, sort of the horrible, the horrible vortex of horrible vortex of ladies that have grown to faint, kind of risen to fame through making sex tapes and sure, doing reality shows. So Snooki and all these people like whatever. Yeah, like that. That group of people in that little tornado.
[32:44] Keith: It still has Nicky made a career like, is she a millionaire? She probably is.
[33:02] Mike: If she isn't. If she isn't, she's a retard. Yeah, she Yeah, she or got taken advantage of. I mean, shouldn't be, you know, maybe not a 10 millionaire, but she should be a one millionaire. I mean, my goodness. Right, right. Right. Anyway, eso the l o l thing might be up talking, but what? Yeah, what's your What's your feedback on this? Uh,
[33:05] Keith: well, I
[33:12] Keith: I guess I had never heard about this. I mean, I can see in the comments here there's actually a subreddit called cook queens.
[33:13] Keith: Um,
[33:18] Keith: which must be, you know, like female cock holding. Um,
[33:20] Keith: I just didn't know e
[33:29] Mike: mean, that must be the worst. That sub reminisce. We have so such low self esteem. But go on. Sorry. That's just I'm just imagining that. Yeah. What's going on
[33:39] Keith: in that stuff? I'm just I'm curious what the, like sort of woke explanation for this behavior would be like, I can't even imagine what What's going on there. You're sure that
[33:44] Mike: cut queens isn't gay cuckolds, by the way,
[33:45] Mike: it doesn't matter. But yet
[33:47] Keith: you know. I mean,
[33:49] Keith: I don't know. They
[33:52] Mike: should have been cooked princesses. Maybe, I don't know. The woke. Okay, so
[33:53] Keith: let's no, that's
[33:56] Mike: good. Why don't you You you can go for the woke explanation. I mean,
[34:04] Keith: I I mean, I just clicked through this to the subreddit. The like top thing is, can't help being a hopeless romantic even with his dick and another girl.
[34:08] Keith: Ha ha ha.
[34:08] Keith: You
[34:11] Mike: know, not a day goes by that I don't think of that sentence.
[34:20] Keith: This'll, Weirdo. This is a nice, uh, pictures here. Okay.
[34:27] Keith: Okay. Trying to do a podcast here? Um, I don't know. I don't know. Like what? Um
[34:35] Keith: yeah. I don't know why a woman would seemed to be so excited about watching her man.
[34:35] Keith: Let's
[34:58] Mike: be. Let's be clear, though, when you say the woke explanation, I just wanna make sure we're on the same page about what that means. What you mean by that is that's the explanation that makes no reference to things like what a man and a woman would do. Sort of evolutionarily or like the basic kind of typical narrative of human behavior. But, like, sort of an explanation that throws all that out and says each person an individual and can do anything they want right
[35:25] Keith: that be something like the Occam's razor Here is not that she, you know, had had some sort of trauma or abuse that, like, you know, pushed her towards this. It's that she's actually a fully functioning and enters into this with eyes open, and this is a normal behavior pattern. But I would say like it's caused by what? By what? Like I know. I mean, if someone
[35:48] Mike: sufficiently young and sufficiently inexperienced, then I think that, like there, they would have a limited set of interactions with how the real world works. And so then maybe they think that's kind of fun. The problem is that, like the reason even setting aside like kind of gender stereotypes, The reason this doesn't work is because, like men won't play ball in the way that they want thumb to. Even if you had, this is your fetish would be very hard to do it because the man would
[36:03] Mike: start having sex with other women behind your back and doing a bunch of weird stuff. It's the same reason, like those, um, polyamorous things are really really challenging for people to do, although, you know, they make TV shows about it like supposedly people make it work. But it's not common, right?
[36:05] Mike: Yeah,
[36:06] Keith: Yeah,
[36:08] Keith: I just Yeah. Okay. Alright. Can. Although,
[36:22] Mike: although I guess a man, the man thing is a gender stereotype to write the notion that men Yeah, So I mean, maybe if maybe she's found just the right man who is just like I I could take it or leave it. But, you know, if you want me to, I'll do it, you know? So he's very
[36:28] Mike: passive that way, and maybe that makes it work. So maybe just with that couple, it works. That could happen.
[36:35] Keith: Yeah, maybe it's something like okay, she doesn't perceive much downside risk that he'll leave her
[36:40] Keith: and watching him get excited by something
[36:47] Keith: is intriguing. Even if it's not her. That's making him excited.
[36:52] Mike: Yeah. I mean, it's just a like when you read Ah, common sort of through line
[37:17] Mike: really, really hyper comin through line. And like the sex sub read or any of these subreddit is women getting a ton of pleasure from giving their man pleasure from the thing from their body. There the thing they're doing whatever it is like. Like maybe maybe more than probably. Yeah. More than half the pleasure women get from sex. Typically, is that typically? And it's a really strong through line. And so it's like when you switch that out for another woman is like, huh? Like now?
[37:18] Mike: Yeah.
[37:22] Mike: So she could say I'm the one who lets him have that. Okay, like maybe
[37:36] Keith: yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. We're not gonna We're done with this. All right? This is We had a foursome and the other woman left her. Brought on purpose. Yeah, a few days ago, my partner, uh,
[37:53] Keith: and I had a foursome. Eso her partner's 31. She's 26. Had a foursome with an old friends with benefits of mine. Who's a 30 year old man who she's going to refer to as see for the rest of this and his friends with benefits. A 30 year old female
[38:12] Keith: later referred to his n. All right, So? So there's her boyfriend, her, the friends with benefits, a man named named C and friends with and then another woman named n. All right. We do not live together and hosted a boyfriend's apartment in the planning stage and seemed a bit standoffish,
[38:16] Keith: and I was worried she didn't actually want to go through with it.
[38:23] Keith: So we agreed to just hang out, celebrate the election and drink. After a while, we decided to all go to the bedroom and have fun,
[38:38] Keith: and it was really fun. I could tell everyone was having a really good time, especially end on was previously standoffish. We were both playing with our respective partners, and she kept giving hints to switch. I love the idea of seeing my boyfriend with another woman so
[38:49] Keith: gladly agreed. Yeah, I didn't even know. All right, I have to preface by saying, My boyfriend has a really nice dick. It's not too big, Not too small and thick.
[39:14] Keith: Definitely thicker than see. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, saying how big his dick is. She couldn't keep his boner When I could tell, he felt a lot emasculated. E gave him a full body rub to keep him occupied, but he was done for the night, done for his life. He was traumatized by this because the language is being used. Here's come on, I languages preposterous This is great. Okay,
[39:34] Mike: He was He couldn't keep his boner. Yeah, and then the other thing I think is great is like, Yeah, I remember reading this post a while back and like, I know there's a main point to it, but like this business about screaming at the top of her lungs, have you ever done anything that caused a woman to scream at the top of her lungs?
[39:43] Keith: Oh, Mike, every time I have sex, it's like that. I mean, neighbors just yeah, you know, the next door forum is I'm a legend on it. I mean,
[39:57] Mike: I will say that I have not, and I have never in my life. And I've been in many sort of dormitory apartment building type settings where you might hear that I've never heard a woman screaming at the top of rule. And if I heard that,
[40:14] Mike: I would call the police because I would assume that it was like a violent thing, like So So they say they're two things here that don't work for me. First of all, the screaming at the top of the lungs. And secondly, the use of the word Boehner feels not if there's a language discrepancy there that feels like maybe 14 year old boy wrote this, but go on.
[40:36] Keith: Right, right, right. Well, go on. Well, for the sake of discussion. But let's let's hope it's true, all right? And And I did a ton of kissing the whole night, so I didn't mind when she grabbed boyfriend's face for a five minute make out. After they both finished, I could tell C was uncomfortable. So I deployed the previously agreed upon say phrase House Dog's name. Ben. See replies. Oh, shit. What time is it? I need to walk him.
[40:42] Keith: They proceed to get dressed, and I noticed End didn't put her brought back on. I reminded her
[40:56] Keith: it was on the chair and saw her put it in her purse. Upon leaving, she gives me a short make out kiss and my boyfriend what seemed like a really long, passionate kiss before bed. We spoke about everything that went down and agreed that although it's fun, we didn't want to play with her again.
[41:08] Keith: We woke up the next morning, find her broth laying on the bedroom floor, specifically remember her. Putting it in her purse, apparently is end was leaving, she whispered. Let's do this again in my boyfriend's here.
[41:12] Keith: He didn't mention until the next day because I have trouble falling asleep
[41:26] Keith: with the and the anxiety would drive me crazy. He wasn't wrong. I sent a message in the group chat letting her know, and she replies, Oh, shit. I totally forgot. I wasn't wearing it. I could come pick it up sometime this week and lives an hour away. Exclamation point.
[41:37] Keith: My crazy to think she did it on purpose. How do I navigate the situation? So I need to be there when she comes to get the bra. Should I just mail it to her and tell her straight up? We don't want to do this again.
[41:39] Keith: That's it. That's the post.
[41:42] Mike: Yeah. I mean, ah.
[41:47] Mike: If you believe the Post, then yes, she did it on purpose.
[42:05] Keith: I don't understand why you would need to do. Okay. Okay. You just had a foursome. Okay? You carefully collectively bargained it. And slack, apparently. And it's like you had a You had a safe. Well, she talks about the group chat. Um, they they,
[42:09] Keith: you know, have negotiated various like rules of engagement, and
[42:11] Keith: she's
[42:17] Keith: she says. I love the idea of seeing my boyfriend with another woman, so I gladly agreed.
[42:33] Keith: I have to drive by. My boyfriend is a really nice dick. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, saying, How biggest Dick is like she's, she's She seems fine with her like boyfriend interacting with him. But like the entire premise of this is like, Oh, did she, like, leave her broad purpose so that she could, like,
[42:39] Keith: see my boyfriend like if she's jealous, then why is she doing this in the first place?
[42:46] Keith: And if she's not, then why does she need a, you know, FBI investigation into why the bra was left?
[42:53] Mike: Well, I mean, I think the first thing I would say is like, I think this goes to prove the point I was making on the last one, which is like, You know,
[42:55] Mike: she
[42:57] Mike: like,
[43:10] Mike: Yeah, these situations don't play out like, I think with a certain amount of experience, you'll see, you know, people will see. Oh, there's there there problems in these situations like they don't they don't play out that well. Secondly, though, to the question of why,
[43:12] Mike: uh,
[43:35] Mike: why she would need to do that. Well, what she's looking for is a way to if you believe this, he's looking for a way to sidestep of the boundaries of the rules they set up, right? So by by by setting up a situation where she needs to go back there for something, for some reason, that has nothing to do with sex. It gives her an opportunity to seduce the guy and I guess, scream about his cock at the top for lungs again.
[43:38] Keith: Yeah,
[43:41] Keith: I guess. But, I mean,
[43:55] Keith: doesn't she know that this guy lives with? Yeah, I don't know. E. Imagine this is like our friends complaint about Seinfeld. Like, there's just one thing that needs to be said and this whole thing could be resolved. Uh,
[43:57] Mike: what's the one thing into him?
[44:03] Keith: Uh, you say to the girl we're not interested in
[44:09] Keith: anything again. I mean, I don't know why they're not interested in the first place. Like, why not have a threesome? That's basically what they had here.
[44:16] Mike: Well, I think that well, probably because she doesn't. Because she's actually is jealous and worried that this woman is gonna like gun for her
[44:42] Mike: boyfriend. F f w whatever it is, partner. I think it's the word she used. And maybe this other girls like more attractive or something younger. There could be reasons why he she might actually have rational reasons toe be concerned and also calling it out like that. I mean, one of the Seinfeld thing. Yeah. I mean, it is always about politeness, right? So it's like maybe she's friends with this person, and if she and she doesn't want to call her out on it, she doesn't want to say,
[44:46] Mike: Hey, we don't want to see you again And that's explicit of away because it Ah,
[44:57] Mike: yeah, Because because then it implies that Hey, I know you're trying to do something here and she doesn't want Teoh, right? So like mailing it back, for example, would basically like, um,
[45:04] Mike: take away the opportunity to see her partner without her having to aggressively mess up the situation.
[45:14] Keith: I just I don't understand how people can have, like, a slack conversation, negotiating a foursome and then
[45:21] Keith: be so surprised with, like, feelings are hurt. Like, do they not consider that this is like a thing that could happen?
[45:22] Keith: Oh, that's the
[45:34] Mike: I mean, no, they don't that's like the whole, like you're I think you're actually describing their The problem with these types of situations is that, like people, it's very difficult to forecast what will happen in particularly
[45:35] Keith: No, it's not.
[45:39] Keith: Oh, you okay? What's gonna happen? That's
[45:46] Mike: because you've read the sex subreddit so assiduously, Keith. But like for for an average person like I mean, I think that women,
[45:57] Mike: I think both genders have, like, a set of things that they're confused about what the other person might do. Like it's not. It's a little difficult to forecast, particularly the woman. Let's see
[46:18] Mike: one woman of couple A. It's hard for to forecast what man of couple be will do and man of couple A. For the woman of a couple B, it's like challenging to forecast because they're just not like they're not the other gender, and they don't know what it would be like to be in it. So you're like two steps removed. It's like you're in a threesome, which is unusual. And then it's the other gender, and some people do weird stuff, you know,
[46:27] Mike: so like she's to. The point is that she's worried about like what her. There's this worry about what a guy would do. Well, you know what? A guy pursue this chick later?
[46:29] Mike: Yeah,
[46:35] Keith: Yeah. I mean, he might if she screams like that whenever he has sex with her. What? What I was
[46:37] Mike: trying to imagine What
[46:44] Mike: have you ever like, bellowed? I don't want to scream because you're a man. Have you ever bellowed anything during sex?
[46:47] Keith: Like, hadn't had an orgasm so intense that
[46:57] Mike: just something? Yeah, Like something you said where you were like, Oh, my God. This is something like like I was trying to think of your cutting off my circulation. You're so tight, or, you know,
[47:34] Keith: e I'm having a medical procedure down there. My Penis is falling asleep because, like speculation, it's like a rubber band restricted so much by your voice like pussy. Um, I know. I mean, I am not. Yeah, I mean, being respectful to my neighbors is, like, sort of a thing that I try to dio. And so But I don't I don't think it's not like I'm, like, suppressing some sort of compulsion to, like, be loud. I just think I'm naturally not extremely loud.
[47:56] Keith: You make some louder than others, although okay, here's the thing. So I live in a six unit building. Yeah, and my next door neighbor. Not well. The apartment's empty, and it's not the one before. It's the one before that often had fairly loud sex. And I always wondered if it was like performative or like if she was actually compelled to make those noises.
[48:07] Keith: Um, and I have ah, neighbor now who I can occasionally here having sex. They don't have sex for very long or she's not. E can hear the woman.
[48:12] Mike: Yeah, uh, very Salma. That when we when we visited Iceland
[48:14] Mike: Uh huh.
[48:27] Mike: You know, it's tired because of the jet lag. And there was the apartment below ours. There was some people and I could hear just pounding. And I was just thinking to myself, Isn't isn't like Thor or store like Norway,
[48:41] Mike: But I was just imagining, like Scandinavian region e. I was imagining this just like huge man with a gigantic mustache, just beating the crap out of the woman with his with his pelvis. Yeah, that's I think that's the loudest I've heard.
[48:48] Keith: Okay, but the sound was not, was not, was not vocal. It was headboard on wall or something,
[48:50] Keith: I think it sounded
[48:56] Mike: like it sounded like a body part hitting the wall. It was strange, like Yeah, but anyway, you
[48:58] Keith: are forced to use your imagination. Yeah.
[49:05] Mike: So you've never that you've never been tempted you. There's just no situation in which you would utter such a such a bellow.
[49:15] Keith: I'm trying to remember if I've been with someone who, like, maybe themselves was very loud. I've definitely been with people who are very loud, and I feel like it's performative, but whatever. Maybe they were Maybe they were so
[49:18] Keith: moved by my ability that you know, they What's
[49:21] Mike: the maximum loudness you've experienced?
[49:28] Keith: I don't know. I have a decibel meter on my phone. Maybe I should, uh, a active going forward. Yeah,
[49:31] Mike: loud enough that you were worried about bothering the neighbors.
[49:34] Keith: That's not that hard. It's loud enough that I that I felt embarrassed.
[49:39] Mike: Yeah, but not loud enough that say it hurt your ears.
[49:40] Keith: That's right.
[49:41] Keith: That's right.
[49:45] Keith: Nobody screams that like the top of their lungs.
[49:50] Mike: Well, that was one of the things that that in the word Boehner that bothered me in this thing. But, uh,
[49:53] Keith: okay. Colloquialism. So there is
[49:58] Mike: often this thread on the sex subreddit of women wanting men to be more vocal.
[50:00] Mike: And I always assumed that there's like a
[50:13] Mike: Well, I know from talking to men that there is a and also from porn. There's a set of men. They're just totally silent. There's no sound, which I could see being kind of, you know, you're like, I'm imagining being the woman say, giving a blow and it's just like,
[50:26] Mike: yeah, I mean, it's like a straw, and all of a sudden some water comes out of it. You're like, Great e got the water out, of course, is oddly flavored, right? And so forth on. But, you know, and then I'm thinking of a guy who's like
[50:35] Mike: screaming, which I don't know if that happens, but I assume what women want is something in between those that makes sense. I guess. What a guy wants to write. You want the woman to make some sounds, right?
[50:52] Keith: Yeah, Yeah. I mean, some, You know, moans of pleasure are always nice, but yeah, I think a woman is looking for Yeah, maybe some some grunting and moaning, but yeah, like occasionally saying you know something about how great they are, How tight or whatever you
[50:54] Mike: have to go to phrase, is there?
[50:59] Keith: No, I don't. And we've talked about this before. E. I think we should do some
[51:05] Keith: some research and and bring it to our audience. Um,
[51:06] Keith: yeah.
[51:19] Keith: Um okay, what's the next topic here? So this one, this one is mildly wholesome, but I think almost unbelievably so All right. So this guy says, always thinking of my wife.
[51:25] Keith: Is it normal toe on Lee? Ever think about your wife while masturbating And the whole time I've been with her,
[51:38] Keith: I only ever think of her while masturbating. I think of her having sex or having sex with others, but it's always her. Even when I watch porn, I imagine the woman is my wife and picks one where they look like her. And I pick ones where they look like her
[51:56] Keith: edit. Been together 17 years, and she's so beautiful inside and out. But it actually turns me on thinking of her having sex, even if that it's not me in my mind doing it. Okay, let's get back to the cold thing. Not saying I'd 100% want to do that. But I only get horny or excited if she's in my mind or I'm thinking of her.
[51:58] Keith: Uh,
[52:01] Keith: do you share that experience bank?
[52:03] Mike: No. Uh, do you?
[52:09] Mike: Yeah. I mean, I could imagine. I mean, the thing that rings true, of course, is that, like, every guy's gonna have
[52:17] Mike: features that he finds attractive. And so there's that. So I mean, like, there would be a similarity, I think typically, like there'd be you'd cluster around a certain look
[52:29] Mike: that you like. For example, I I assume that you have some sort of large chin porn site that you visit Sort of the longer kind of Jay Leno Jay Leno style.
[52:40] Keith: It's not that I look, it's not that I seek out large chin. That's have subtitles. I don't mind them. Um,
[52:40] Keith: anyway,
[52:52] Mike: no, I think you Yes, your argument is let's get your argument is that you don't mind it. And so if a woman is otherwise very attractive, you will actually think she's mawr attractive than than other
[52:57] Keith: in the average person did? Yeah, my subjective rating of that person would be higher because I don't think there's
[53:03] Mike: any difference, because I think I think those are actually the same. I think what you're saying is the same as
[53:16] Mike: Ah, I like large. Yeah, I think that's I think that you're just like you've come up with, like, a way to, like, describe it, using negative numbers or something, but like it zero imaginary numbers with me. But it's the same, right? It's like,
[53:25] Mike: Yeah, you're like, if if I say, hey, I don't mind women who are a certain height or women that have this color hair. Yeah. I mean, that means I like that. Yeah,
[53:35] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I guess what you're saying is, yeah, like, if I was scoring every woman in the world, women with large chins would have a higher average score then
[53:37] Keith: most than you know than other people. That's
[53:44] Mike: what finding something attractive is like having a trait that you that doesn't quote it doesn't bother you or that you like.
[53:48] Keith: Yeah, but there's a difference between Yeah,
[53:52] Keith: it's not like I don't prefer
[54:05] Keith: normal or muted chins. Anyway, listen. Okay, So I think what you're saying is if there are women, if you have a type and your wife happens to be exactly your type
[54:07] Keith: Then
[54:08] Keith: maybe
[54:11] Keith: you would think about her exclusively. Oh,
[54:20] Mike: no, I was just saying that, like, the like you would like. I probably I probably differentially seek out porn that, like, has a certain
[54:23] Mike: type of looking person,
[54:26] Mike: but yeah, right.
[54:30] Mike: I mean, they're they're really obvious characteristics, like, people are probably going to have a certain certain ethnicities they seek out.
[54:31] Keith: Although, I don't
[54:33] Mike: know, you could see people looking for
[54:37] Mike: something that's like, totally the opposite, right? That could happen to look, the
[54:50] Keith: main thing is this thing as saying recognized, I generally prefer brunettes. And so, you know, when I'm seeking out porn, I prefer porn with brunettes in it.
[54:51] Keith: Hm.
[54:53] Keith: But
[54:58] Keith: yeah, like if I have a brunette partner, I still
[55:11] Keith: often think of people that aren't them. Like like this guy is saying that he always always like that. The subject of his fantasies is always his wife.
[55:11] Keith: That's yeah.
[55:20] Mike: I'm not doubting, You know, it's certainly possible that someone could do that. It's just like that's not That's not common like it, it feels like,
[55:42] Mike: Yeah. I mean, I'm going too far on this today, but it feels like a little bit like a woman wrote this and, uh, she's like a woman. Let's see, I'm imagining the story. You're a woman discovered that her husband has a variety of interests online and or something, and she or she had an argument with him, and he's like, Look, nobody's like that. And so she's like, I'm gonna post
[55:52] Mike: as a guy saying that that's all I watch and see how much how many guys come in and say, Oh, yeah, me, too, which I don't know what I mean or the comment threads, sort of,
[55:57] Mike: Yeah, that's the kind of thing I could imagine. This being is like saying like No, like,
[56:02] Mike: that's I mean, look, the that's like, you know, men walk down the street and they look at women,
[56:07] Mike: right? That's what men do. It's like, you know, like, uh, that's what all male animals do. It's like, Hey,
[56:13] Keith: I know and this man is like, basically saying that he doesn't do that. That's that's the confusing ask.
[56:16] Mike: But it's not. That's yeah, this is a thing. I mean,
[56:25] Mike: that's just like part of being male. I think I mean, frankly, it's interesting. I think gay men do it too, right? So It's like actually like a male nous that covers
[56:28] Mike: Petra and homosexual.
[56:35] Keith: Well, yeah, they're just They vet everyone for, um, sexual eligibility.
[56:42] Mike: That's right. I think the first thing that I do is I look at a person. Well, I you know that men look at other people's crotches because there's that famous thing with the baseball player.
[56:46] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should. You should say what it is because
[57:01] Keith: yeah, there's like, this is what it is. Yeah, they test. They do tests between men and women and young men. Yeah. Yeah. They track and men check out the crotch of of baseball players. Yeah,
[57:11] Mike: it's like and women are just looking at the family minister. Look everywhere and men. It's like the face in the crotch. Yeah, and it's clearly because yeah, like a guy's your Yeah, and that's a thing. That's why like
[57:16] Mike: seeing a person and realizing it's not a man is like, immediately slightly arousing
[57:21] Mike: as a guy like, it's normal. And this this person is just not normal, like that's not What do
[57:39] Keith: you wanna do? You wanna hear some of the comments? I mean, you know, it's read it. So they're always it's gonna be the first one says, Wait a second is this is this is amazingly wholesome, wholesome content. Second one is this is really feet sweet. Finally, something uplifting in life and nice.
[57:41] Keith: You're lucky and so is your wife. Hang
[57:48] Mike: on, hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on, hang on. That's it's not uplifting. Nice. I want to be clear about this. Women don't want a guy that's like that.
[58:02] Mike: Like, if you're a guy, listen to this. And you think, Oh, let me be like that? No. Like what? It's not like people are sort of mentally and psychologically set up to pattern match on how people actually are.
[58:09] Mike: Yeah. Anyway, like so that's not like these eso people think. Oh, yeah, I'd love a guy that was like that. But actually, wouldn't they be like, Oh, he's such a worse.
[58:11] Mike: You know, I can't scream at the top of my lungs of this guy,
[58:15] Keith: right? Yeah, there would be some sort of
[58:21] Keith: Yeah, like having zero competition or jealousy or
[58:25] Keith: or needing to attract them would probably
[58:26] Keith: It seems
[59:08] Mike: good. It sounds nice. It sounds nice. Just like the whole thing. We're like, I remain convinced that, like you know, these people who are in the situation where they have men, where they have an unlimited supply of women, like, if you were, if you could time travel with seventies and be a member of Led Zeppelin or whatever, you're the pharaoh of Egypt, right? They actually, it becomes tiresome. And they it's not that it's actually worse than that. It's like the world can't provide them. What a man wants. What a man wants is to have to seek a woman. Yeah, right. And so when you get rid of that like, it's actually terrible for you psychologically and like it, then you get yeah, maybe that leads people to do drugs. I don't know, like it leads to a whole bunch of behaviors. It's like it's it's actually not what you want, Even though it seems so great, it's like actually,
[59:12] Mike: that struggle is is what makes it fun, right? Which Yeah, There you go.
[59:19] Keith: This person says, I think I speak for a lot of women when I say this is amazing and we all want this heart.
[59:22] Keith: Yeah, right. I can't. I can't
[59:26] Mike: think of a single woman who doesn't want a man to be thinking of her when he masturbates.
[59:27] Mike: Yeah,
[59:30] Mike: come on. You know what they want. They don't care.
[59:38] Keith: Yeah, well, there's There's a second order thing. So, like on the first order, they probably think they want to this. But yeah, like, I don't even
[59:52] Mike: think most women think they want that. I think women A what they want is never to think of masturbating well, right, Like it's just a negative thing. It's like if women had to. If women had to truly come to grips with the amount
[60:00] Mike: of stroking his cock men do, I think would be hard to live. It would be like, Oh my God, there's just seeming everywhere.
[60:06] Keith: Okay, so this person says, I talk to my girlfriend 19 into an orgasm. Question mark.
[60:33] Keith: Me and my girlfriend were just watching TV, and she wanted to have sex. I was tired from an M M, a fight watching in m m. A fighter or participated in one and was honestly dead inside from how tired I was. I told her this, and she nodded, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes. I told her I could offer her something else and leaned in and talked about all the things I wanted to do with her and she orgasms. And under another two minutes question mark.
[60:49] Keith: She wasn't touching herself, and neither was I. But I have a very deep voice on. I've been told by my past partners that I could make them horny by just talking normally but orgasm from two minutes of just talking. Is this even possible? And then a parentheses? She didn't fake it either.
[61:02] Keith: I'll say Yeah, a Zambezi. And like what percentage chance given given the given this information is a prior would you assign to the probability that she picked it.
[61:09] Mike: I mean, three only issue I have with that is this thing of like I think that I have increasingly come to the view that
[61:28] Mike: faking is more complicated than you think, because some women don't know what an orgasm is. And so there's like there's two categories, so it's one of those, but the probability is virtually 100%. That being said, I have thought before that there might be some percentage of our audience that air young ladies that masturbate listening to you read these questions so it says, You know, it's possible.
[61:33] Keith: Yeah, there could be some percentage It zero is a percentage. No, no, I could
[61:39] Mike: see it. I could see it. I could see it's not that easy to get content of men. Sort of like, not in a humorous way. Reading.
[61:42] Mike: He's sort of like a steamy things. Like what you just read?
[61:57] Keith: Yeah. This is a very serious show. S O. Okay, Alright. First off, do you think it's possible for a man to orgasm from something like nipple stimulation? I've read men say it's possible. Yeah,
[62:06] Mike: I think I'm sure anything's possible. I saw I once saw a guy who, like, jams him electrode up his body somewhere and he, like, push a button and like he'd ejaculated. I saw that video.
[62:21] Keith: Have you? I have not seen that video. And please don't send me. Never Have you ever orgasm without touching your dick or having yeah, someone else touching it? No, of course not. I haven't either. Um,
[62:23] Keith: it's,
[62:24] Keith: you know,
[62:39] Keith: but but I mean, okay, I know it's possible because other people have reported it on guy and I have heard of women orgasm ing from, like, you know, minimal or no contact before in the past, but, I mean, it just seems like that has to be awfully rare.
[62:40] Keith: Um,
[62:45] Mike: the one thing that you hear that I think is riel is there's this
[62:50] Mike: habit, this way of getting off that women have where they, like, kind of
[62:55] Mike: grind against a pillow. And I think that can correlate with women, sort of
[63:01] Mike: crossing their legs and kind of rubbing their crotch around. And I think that that can work for a woman. It can't work for a guy, but
[63:04] Keith: yeah, well, I mean, I mean,
[63:08] Keith: I can get extremely aroused without touching my deck.
[63:09] Keith: Really?
[63:19] Keith: I don't know. Probably not anymore. Getting old man, but I definitely used to be able Thio and these This guy says his girlfriend's 19. So you know, they're young. Um,
[63:23] Keith: but ah,
[63:24] Keith: yeah, Like
[63:30] Keith: when I was, like, extremely young like I could imagine getting, like, super aroused by something. And then,
[63:42] Keith: yeah, it wouldn't take much contact to bring me to orgasm. Eso Yeah, that's maybe that's what happened. I mean, if she even orgasms. Yeah, maybe she was just sort of shifting around a little bit and
[63:51] Mike: well, there was that thing in the Howard Stern movie where the woman sat on the speaker while he, like, made humming sounds and that worked for her. So maybe it's something like that. Maybe this guy's voice is so deep,
[63:57] Mike: he's just a deep baritone that he's able, like, sort of resonate her crotch. Could be.
[64:00] Keith: Maybe I don't
[64:07] Keith: I don't think so. I think you would need your voice to be amplified to provide enough vibration to be
[64:19] Keith: materially fallible. I could imagine a deeper voice being more arousing, but that's different. That's different than the like. Sound waves vibrating you in a way that
[64:22] Mike: Bridge Street he didn't mention using a megaphone or anything like that. So
[64:29] Keith: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if if he had, like, some sort of amplifier and turned the base way up, maybe,
[64:34] Mike: yeah. I mean, you could imagine it, but that's no. I mean, this is just gonna be whatever.
[64:35] Keith: Yeah,
[64:43] Keith: Okay. You have anything else you want to say about this? No, I'm done. Alright. Uh, just like she waas um
[64:55] Keith: so that will do it for Episode 19 of your mileage may vary. We'd love some feedback, will pay you $10 if you provide us any. So hit us up. Our email address is Y m and the pod at gmail dot com.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 19: Cleaning Her Toys Orally, Reverse Cuckolding, Foursome Infidelity

Episode Transcript