Your Mileage May Vary: Unspoken Desires, Heated Arguments, Unlikely Alliances, Hard Lessons, Surprising Revelations

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00:00] Mike: Hello and welcome to Your Mileage May Very. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial, but mostly in good faith. I'm Mike, and it's just Ali and me today. Last week it was just Keith and Ali, and this week it's just Ali and myself. Ali, how are you doing today?
[00:00:17] Ally: I'm good. I'm pretty tired, but not for fun reasons.
[00:00:20] Mike: Okay, but you were ah at your boyfriend's abode last night.
[00:00:26] Ally: I was.
[00:00:27] Mike: Do you want to tell it walk us through the romps you had?
[00:00:27] Ally: Yes.
[00:00:32] Ally: I mean, I didn't know.
[00:00:33] Mike: Do you have sex with him every time you stay over? Interesting. What percentage of the, I'm actually just generally curious. And of course, if this is too personal, just don't just say you don't want to answer, but I'm curious what person like, so you, what percentage of the evenings do you, uh, sleep in the same bed as this man right now?
[00:00:54] Ally: Oh, maybe five nights a week, let's say.
[00:00:58] Mike: Wow. So your, and it's always at his place, never at your place.
[00:01:02] Ally: No, it's it switches off. probably Probably it's slightly more often at my place, but almost even.
[00:01:04] Mike: Okay.
[00:01:08] Mike: Okay. And of those five, how many of those days does one of you or or one or the other, or both of you have an orgasm in each other's presence?
[00:01:17] Ally: Oh, probably four out of five.
[00:01:19] Mike: Hmm. Interesting. So that means that, yeah, you're sort of well oiled, you're, uh, you're, you're well sexed. And even this, this doesn't matter your, your menstrual cycle and with the rest of it, like it happens regardless.
[00:01:30] Mike: Like this is going to happen, right?
[00:01:32] Ally: ah when i'm Yeah, when I'm on a period, it probably he has the orgasm more often than I do, because I don't like to get blood everywhere and it's messy.
[00:01:33] Mike: Four out of five.
[00:01:40] Mike: Okay. Does it ever happen that you have an orgasm and not him?
[00:01:46] Ally: Yeah.
[00:01:47] Mike: What? how why Okay. How much? that's and That's unusual. That's unusual. So I think our listeners would be interested to know how how common that is.
[00:01:56] Ally: um
[00:01:57] Mike: So four out of four.
[00:01:57] Ally: Not common, but
[00:01:59] Mike: Okay.
[00:01:59] Ally: It has happened occasionally, I would say more because um either,
[00:02:08] Ally: well, I guess he he's more persistent with um fingering me and then like sometimes he, I don't know, loses his erection or like isn't um able to finish.
[00:02:20] Mike: oh No, no.
[00:02:22] Ally: So there's also the thing where like if he has already come once that day, he like probably can't again.
[00:02:28] Mike: But why would he this is okay, but this would be would he have come earlier with you or by himself?
[00:02:29] Ally: that day. which sonic I don't know.
[00:02:34] Ally: Yeah. With me. Yeah.
[00:02:35] Mike: Okay, so your impression generally is this man has ceased all masturbation probably because for and do you
[00:02:40] Ally: No, no, I don't think so. Because, again, like we were only spending maybe five nights a week together. So, like, the other days that were apart, I assume that he does. And I think he does. Like, masquerade. Sometimes, yeah.
[00:02:51] Mike: Okay. Have you found, I've heard a and a common thing that people say is that men when they're in relationships masturbate less, but women masturbate more when in relationships. Do you find that to be right?
[00:03:00] Ally: Oh, well so I would say he probably masturbates a less because for him, it's just like, you know, wanting to orgasm in the morning or something. And like, if I'm there, like when we would just have sex instead. And so I don't think that he like makes up for it later.
[00:03:10] Mike: Okay.
[00:03:12] Ally: um I.
[00:03:13] Mike: I think men generally don't. Men's just generally like the amount of number of times per week declines when they're in a relationship because they have this other outlet.
[00:03:19] Ally: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that's true. um And I would say I probably masturbate about the same amount.
[00:03:27] Mike: Okay.
[00:03:27] Ally: um
[00:03:27] Mike: And the longest time in your adulthood that you've gone without an orgasm was a week, a month, a year.
[00:03:34] Ally: Probably a month.
[00:03:36] Mike: Okay.
[00:03:37] Ally: Yeah, probably a month.
[00:03:37] Mike: And the longest time without having sex with a man.
[00:03:42] Ally: i Maybe a few months. I mean, there have been a lot of times in my life when I was in long distance relationships and maybe wouldn't see someone for several weeks or something at least.
[00:03:47] Mike: Hmm.
[00:03:50] Mike: Ooh.
[00:03:55] Ally: um So probably at least a month.
[00:03:56] Mike: Okay.
[00:03:58] Ally: I would say for me also, if you know if things are stressful at work or if I have a lot going on or something, like i don't feel up to masturbating. like It doesn't come upon me as a need.
[00:04:09] Ally: It's more like if I'm already in a good mood and I'm reading something sexy or like watching a movie or something.
[00:04:16] Mike: Or you just recorded an episode of YMV. I assume you often masturbate right after the show and you're so turned on.
[00:04:21] Ally: No, I would say basically never, unfortunately.
[00:04:23] Mike: No. That's too bad. We turn you off. That's our goal, actually, is to make women less sexual.
[00:04:28] Ally: Yeah. Exactly.
[00:04:31] Mike: That's brutal.
[00:04:31] Ally: And it's working.
[00:04:32] Mike: Yeah.
[00:04:33] Ally: ah
[00:04:33] Mike: So ah so you had a question we talked about before the show about insertion. So let's let's hear it.
[00:04:37] Ally: Oh, yeah, so this actually came up from um sex last night. So the question was, when you are getting ready to insert yourself, like, do you reach down and kind of guide it in with your hand?
[00:04:49] Ally: Or do you expect your partner to reach down and guide it in with her hand? Or do neither of you need to do that? And it's like, you know, hard and straight enough that it just kind of goes in on its own? Like, what what is your experience?
[00:04:58] Mike: I appreciate your assumption that my partner is always female.
[00:05:01] Ally: Oh, of course.
[00:05:01] Mike: Uh, so you said her and actually their gender is female too.
[00:05:02] Ally: Yeah, Keith doesn't assume that, but I do.
[00:05:06] Mike: So you didn't say they like they would, that implies that I would never have a partner that was a non-binary, asexual, queer, et cetera.
[00:05:14] Ally: Well, I've met your wife, so.
[00:05:14] Mike: Um, well that's true. That's true. Sometimes she seems a little queer. Um,
[00:05:20] Ally: No.
[00:05:20] Mike: right
[00:05:23] Mike: Well, i't it depends on what you mean by queer. Queer can be a very positive thing, I think.
[00:05:26] Ally: ah
[00:05:26] Mike: Okay, so so what's the situation you had? like I'm assuming last night you had a little bit of a snafu as regards his penis getting inserted inside your body.
[00:05:32] Ally: So I can't tell when my partner is fingering me how wet I am. Like it feels good.
[00:05:43] Ally: I can't tell how much sort of lubrication I'm producing.
[00:05:44] Mike: I literally have a question on this that I selected for today's show, so that's great.
[00:05:47] Ally: Hello. OK.
[00:05:48] Mike: But go on, we'll we'll get to it in in good time, yeah.
[00:05:50] Ally: So I would kind of only find that out at the point of insertion and sometimes find out and even if he's been fingering me, like maybe I'm not wet enough for him to insert.
[00:05:52] Mike: hu
[00:05:59] Mike: Okay. And when you say fingering, so like my, I understand fingering to mean what you, I think we call finger blasting.
[00:06:01] Ally: um
[00:06:08] Ally: I would never. No, I mean both like both fingering like inside the vagina and like fingering the clit, fingering both areas.
[00:06:11] Mike: Okay.
[00:06:15] Mike: Okay. Okay. All right. So yeah, but there's two possible things that could encompass in general. You don't, does, does, does he have to lick his fingers often? So you're not sure where the lubrication is coming from.
[00:06:27] Mike: Is that why once he's inserted his fingers in you, there remains some doubt at all.
[00:06:31] Ally: No, I don't think that he has licked his fingers. No, I'm just saying, like i I can't tell how much lubrication I'm producing. at all. yeah
[00:06:40] Mike: You've never been able to tell this. I mean, I assume if you're a really, let's say you're on a really good third date, you've never had sex with a person yet, you're really aroused. Like there could come a moment during that date when you detect some ah some arousal fluid in your underwear or something.
[00:06:49] Ally: Yeah.
[00:06:54] Ally: Possibly.
[00:06:56] Mike: Well, even that's, you you're not one of these people where it like sort of runs down over your butt and stuff like that, down your legs, ah forming a puddle.
[00:06:56] Ally: Yeah.
[00:07:02] Ally: No. No.
[00:07:05] Mike: That is a thing that some people talk about and depict in porn. I'm not sure how common it is.
[00:07:10] Ally: Yeah, I can only feel that like after having sex when like a lot has been generated and also sort of like brought out, I guess. But I'm talking about at the beginning of sex.
[00:07:19] Mike: Where do you feel that with with the after sex? where Where's the um whereas the the locus of sensation?
[00:07:26] Ally: I guess like the labia.
[00:07:28] Mike: okay Okay.
[00:07:28] Ally: I can feel it kind of like coming out of me.
[00:07:29] Mike: And that's because it's you yeah you feel movement of fluid. It's not just like the evaporation and and cool and coolness of the fluid.
[00:07:33] Ally: Yeah.
[00:07:36] Ally: No, no, yeah, like movement of fluid.
[00:07:38] Mike: Okay, okay. And so that can be troubling. I'm assuming that there's some relationship between that and getting your period. Like those would be similar feelings, right?
[00:07:45] Ally: It feels similar, yes, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:46] Mike: Yeah, okay. ah But in this case, there's just not enough fluid. So it's just like you have no idea what's going on down there and you're you're reluctant to put your finger down there and double check or Too
[00:07:56] Ally: Well, his hand is down there, so yeah, I usually just don't.
[00:07:58] Mike: many hands
[00:08:00] Ally: Yeah, but then we know when it comes time when one of us wants to insert his penis there, like, if I am really wet, like then that will happen more easily than if I'm not.
[00:08:11] Ally: and so if I'm not, you know, i've I've had partners in the past where it kind of didn't matter and they can just kind of like push it in anyway.
[00:08:22] Ally: And then I've also had partners who like, will only be able to do so comfortably if I'm already wet. And then so if I'm not wet, it's like, Oh, we have to, you know, not do that.
[00:08:30] Mike: When you say comfortably, you mean comfortably for him or comfortably comfortably for you or both.
[00:08:31] Ally: And definitely for him. So my preference is that he just like shove it in regardless, because I often find that like,
[00:08:36] Mike: So for you, you don't care.
[00:08:40] Ally: the first couple of thrusts will then like make me wet.
[00:08:42] Mike: Okay, I don't think that the thrusts are making you produce.
[00:08:43] Ally: So that helps.
[00:08:47] Mike: I think we probably agree on this. I just want to get precise on the terminology. I don't think they're making you produce the lubrication. They're just bringing lubrication out. of the interior of your body into the, to the surface.
[00:08:55] Ally: um Yeah, that that's possible.
[00:08:57] Mike: Right.
[00:08:57] Ally: Yeah.
[00:08:58] Mike: Um, and that's like the experience a guy has definitely, but regardless that if he thrusts, okay, if you're just not having a very sexual day and so there's just no lubrication there, if a man inserts in you, it would not be painful.
[00:09:11] Ally: No.
[00:09:13] Mike: Well, I've heard various anecdotes about that being a potentially pain, a trouble, so potential trouble source in terms of female pain. You, you for you, it's just no different.
[00:09:20] Ally: Yeah, I don't think it would be. It's not painful. I mean, it's it certainly feels a little bit, I don't know, tighter or um like there's a little bit more friction, but it's not painful.
[00:09:31] Mike: Hmm.
[00:09:35] Mike: Wait, wait, wait. So. OK, I have been reliably informed in various settings. I've never like and put my foot in my mouth and said something offensive, but I've been reliably informed that when a woman is subjected to a nonconsensual sexual situation where she's just not aroused, that it's quite painful in the vulva vaginal region.
[00:09:56] Mike: Are you saying that's not true?
[00:09:56] Ally: possible. I'm not talking, I'm not talking about nonconsensual. I'm just talking about like, whether I'm very aroused or like, I guess maybe a little bit aroused, you know?
[00:09:59] Mike: OK, OK.
[00:10:05] Mike: But there are physiological differences when you get aroused. I mean, like you your body sort of prepares the the vagina sort of lengthens and lubrication is produced and so forth. And you're saying like, in your maybe maybe you're just always aroused.
[00:10:16] Mike: Is that, do you produce a lot of ah a lot of fluid throughout the day?
[00:10:19] Ally: No, no.
[00:10:20] Mike: Okay. You just think maybe maybe this goes along with your sort of enjoying more aggressive and violent play that you just don't, you just have a high pain tolerance and it doesn't affect you that much.
[00:10:28] Ally: Probably.
[00:10:31] Ally: Yeah, I think so, yeah.
[00:10:31] Mike: Okay. Well, okay. So you were in this situation and you weren't sure how, of course it's okay. You were in the situation and it was tricky to figure out who or how his penis should be guided into you and what in fact was your solution.
[00:10:43] Ally: Well, I guess in all cases, my assumption is that he's going to do the guiding in, but then my partner was saying that in his experience, the woman always kind of insists on being the one to guide it in, and and I haven't
[00:10:48] Mike: Hmm.
[00:10:57] Ally: experience that. So I was wondering, which you think is more common or easier?
[00:11:01] Mike: you've experienced other men doing the guiding.
[00:11:04] Ally: Yes.
[00:11:04] Mike: So in other words, this is, yeah, so you guys have a unique situation here where each of you is expecting the other to guide the penis. And so you just, you're just frozen.
[00:11:09] Ally: Right, right, right, right. Yeah.
[00:11:11] Mike: I would say that for me, uh, because of the just turd, turgidity, turgidity, turgidity, it's gotta be turgidity, these extreme turgidity and hardness of my erections, that what I like to do is simply tighten, uh, sort of the muscles in my, uh, groin area so that my penis is just.
[00:11:22] Ally: Ah,
[00:11:29] Ally: A Kermaster muscles. Yeah.
[00:11:31] Mike: Yeah. So the, what is it?
[00:11:32] Ally: Kermaster.
[00:11:33] Mike: All right. That's at the male equivalent of like, it's the thing you would do Kegel exercises with.
[00:11:34] Ally: Yeah.
[00:11:38] Ally: Yes. Yeah. It's the male equivalent of that.
[00:11:38] Mike: Okay. So then I just am able to guide it in just with the, I don't need a hand. There's no hand needed because I can simply guide it in because my penis doesn't flex.
[00:11:44] Ally: Yeah.
[00:11:47] Mike: It it has no defects.
[00:11:49] Ally: Right.
[00:11:49] Mike: I don't have Peroni's disease, nothing like that. It'll just go in like a, like a, like a, like a piece of metal, honestly.
[00:11:56] Ally: Yeah. I've experienced that with other partners too, that they can just do that. Yeah.
[00:12:00] Mike: Yes. ah But in all seriousness, I mean, that's that's much easier to do if ah it comes out or you change positions. If you're at the very beginning, it's normally easier to guide. And I would say that in my experience, it's like for whomever, it's more convenient.
[00:12:13] Mike: So it depends on the positioning of the people's bodies. um Let's see. So ah there are...
[00:12:19] Ally: Like in missionary, would it be more convenient for you or?
[00:12:19] Mike: sit It depends because it depends on, so the woman's pelvis angle, pelvic angle affects who has the better control of the situation.
[00:12:29] Mike: If her legs are kind of down, then I think it's just sort of too far away for her arms to comfortably reach to do much.
[00:12:35] Ally: Mm.
[00:12:36] Mike: Would you agree with that?
[00:12:36] Ally: Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:12:38] Mike: If her legs are up, then you know it's it's more kind of accessible to her. ah And then in doggy style position, um
[00:12:48] Mike: I think it's often the woman that guides in a doggy style position. and The reason why is that you the man doesn't actually have, it turns out the visibility, visually, the visual field of a man having sex doggy style is really of the anus, not of the vulva or vagina.
[00:13:05] Mike: Just because of like the relative angles.
[00:13:05] Ally: Oh, okay.
[00:13:07] Mike: I mean, if you just watch some porn, you'll you'll watch some, I could give you a few links. I'm somewhat familiar with porn, ah very familiar. But I could give you some links. But yeah, I mean, you're you're you're kind of looking down at her ass.
[00:13:17] Ally: Yeah.
[00:13:18] Mike: And so her vulva vagina is kind of like tucked under there. And so you don't have the the same level of.
[00:13:23] Ally: Okay. So she reaches under her, like between her own legs to dive in.
[00:13:26] Mike: Yeah, it's also it's also.
[00:13:27] Ally: She doesn't reach around behind like, okay.
[00:13:28] Mike: um You have the specific thing, that no, no, under through her legs. The thing is that in the doggy style position, really what needs to happen is just to push it up so it doesn't kind of miss toward the front.
[00:13:40] Mike: So in other words, kind of slide under her.
[00:13:41] Ally: Yeah.
[00:13:42] Mike: Whereas in the missionary position, let me think, I'm trying to think of the failure modes you're trying to avoid.
[00:13:42] Ally: Yeah.
[00:13:48] Mike: um I think either one you could slip down or up and so it's more of like a you want to grasp it as opposed to sort of push nudging in a direction. I think a reason it make would make sense to me that a woman would insist on this is the fear of accidental anal penetration.
[00:14:01] Mike: Have you experienced accidental anal penetration, Ally?
[00:14:02] Ally: Right. I have, yes.
[00:14:06] Mike: How did that go? was Tell us what happened.
[00:14:07] Ally: Very painful. Most notably, this was a long time ago in the shower, um kind of he was behind me and then it accidentally went in and was like extremely painful.
[00:14:16] Mike: Did it come out? It came out and then he was, so you were in the middle of having sex, you were bent over and he pulled out and then he put, thrust it back in and it went.
[00:14:22] Ally: and I think this was like the initial insertion was incorrect.
[00:14:29] Mike: Mm.
[00:14:30] Ally: And yeah, I feel like I almost blacked out. Like I i left the shower.
[00:14:34] Mike: Digi ran away.
[00:14:36] Ally: Yeah.
[00:14:36] Mike: So he let you get away. He didn't just, he didn't just say, Hey, this feels good. I want to keep, yeah but do you think that nowadays you would do that? I mean, with your interest in kind of domination and submission, maybe you would rather stay and let him take it out on you.
[00:14:49] Ally: No, it was very painful.
[00:14:50] Mike: No. Too painful, too much.
[00:14:53] Ally: Yeah, it's it's very tight back there.
[00:14:53] Mike: Okay. Well, it depends. I mean, you can, you can do various exercises, ah you could get some anal dilators, we could buy you some toys.
[00:14:57] Ally: For me at least.
[00:15:02] Mike: um All right, so that yeah, so that's, that's generally, that's generally, I mean, and then like, I'm sure like, let's see, woman on top. I think usually it'd be the woman guiding it and woman on top for the same reason that it would be the man if the woman's legs are down because it's like she's closer to the apparatus.
[00:15:19] Mike: also Also, I could see however, I guess however, I could see the guy being nervous about the woman on top position because the woman on top position has the risk of bending his penis, thus giving him peronious disease.
[00:15:20] Ally: ah
[00:15:31] Ally: Right. Exactly. Yeah.
[00:15:32] Mike: And so you don't if you don't want to lose your rock hard erection, you want to control that a little so the guy might be involved a bit.
[00:15:37] Ally: Hmm.
[00:15:38] Mike: but I feel like it's normally the woman that controls it in that position.
[00:15:38] Ally: Yeah.
[00:15:41] Ally: Okay.
[00:15:41] Mike: It also will allow you to test your wetness.
[00:15:42] Ally: Well, I'll try it then because I guess I've gotten used to not doing it. But if you think it would be more helpful for me to do it.
[00:15:48] Mike: I don't understand why you care how wet you are. You said it doesn't matter, so why do you why why did you bring that up?
[00:15:52] Ally: I, it doesn't matter to me, I guess it matters to him in terms of his ease of insertion.
[00:15:56] Mike: Ah.
[00:15:59] Mike: yeah I think the guy it doesn't hurt. The guy's not going to be hurt by time to penetrate a dry ish vagina. I don't think that would have you been with a partner that claimed it was painful.
[00:16:08] Ally: Well, yeah, or just, you know, a partner who doesn't get that hard, I guess, like, or, you know, who has.
[00:16:14] Mike: Oh, my God, Ali, you date some real wussy guys are these guys like they're not.
[00:16:19] Ally: I know. Yeah, well, that leads into the other.
[00:16:21] Mike: Are they all shorter than you two?
[00:16:23] Ally: No, when only one of my partners has been shorter than me.
[00:16:24] Mike: OK.
[00:16:26] Mike: OK.
[00:16:27] Ally: um Well, that leads into the other question I had, which is if I want a guy to be more masculine around me, should I compensatorily behave more femininely?
[00:16:37] Mike: Okay.
[00:16:37] Ally: Or should I try and kind of like nag him into being more masculine, you know, like tease him or like?
[00:16:41] Mike: Let's put, let's put that one on the side for a second because I have a couple other things I want to ask you about here.
[00:16:45] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:16:45] Mike: First, I wanted to ask you quickly about this. So last week I wasn't on the show, but I heard, I listened. Excellent show, by the way. And, uh, from, from my opinion and from my perspective, um, but you said that you had one time in the past had sex with two guys in two different days.
[00:16:54] Ally: Thank you, yeah.
[00:17:00] Ally: Yeah.
[00:17:02] Mike: Uh, what, what happened there? I want a little more detail.
[00:17:04] Ally: Oh, yeah.
[00:17:05] Mike: How old were you? What was going on?
[00:17:06] Ally: So this was kind of toward the beginning of grad school. So I guess I was like 21 or something. um i i I went to grad school at 20.
[00:17:10] Mike: All right. Notice guys, she went to grad school at age 21. That means she's smarter than you. Go on, Ali.
[00:17:18] Mike: 20, even more.
[00:17:19] Ally: i said that game
[00:17:21] Mike: Yeah, it just keeps getting better.
[00:17:22] Ally: um i ah So I had recently broken up with a guy who I dated for about a year. um And this was probably one of the nicer, if maybe the only kind of nice breakup that I had, because this was a guy who I just was good friends with, you know, liked a lot. And I realized looking back on it, there kind of wasn't that much romantic in the way that I viewed the relationship to begin with.
[00:17:47] Ally: So kind of you know we dated for a year. um He lost his virginity to me, which was interesting. you make ah Fun for me, I guess.
[00:17:52] Mike: Hm. Hm.
[00:17:54] Ally: um And then yeah we kind of realized at the end of about a year of dating that we probably weren't the greatest match for each other and then broke up. But it was you know one of those breakups where maybe a week or two after like he came over and we were talking about you the relationship and as a kind of like goodbye thing, um, had sex.
[00:18:14] Ally: And then one of my other exes, like my old high school boyfriend was coming to visit me the next day. And then so I ended up having sex with that guy also the next day.
[00:18:26] Ally: So it was kind of like, you know, in between relationships, like, right.
[00:18:29] Mike: Okay, so in the first guy, so that was the last time you had sex with the first guy.
[00:18:34] Ally: Right.
[00:18:34] Mike: Okay, but then it was a repeat ah for a sort of an ex that you were having fun with the next day. did The first guy, where did he ejaculate?
[00:18:45] Ally: i think I think both like inside me.
[00:18:45] Mike: Let's get down to business here. Where did his semen go?
[00:18:50] Ally: Yeah.
[00:18:51] Mike: Without a condom.
[00:18:53] Ally: Yeah.
[00:18:54] Mike: But you don't prefer oral sex performed on you and I assume it was true back then as well.
[00:18:55] Ally: Yeah.
[00:18:59] Ally: Right. Yeah.
[00:18:59] Mike: Okay. But it is very likely that this second guy, how, how many, it's it's like 12.
[00:19:04] Ally: I did shower in between. I mean, it was like.
[00:19:06] Mike: Okay. But if a guy ejaculates in you without a condom, like there's still some residue coming out. Like how many hours later? I think we might've talked about this before, but it's like six to 12 hours. You can get some.
[00:19:16] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:19:16] Mike: and Okay. Okay. So it's possible. I mean, look, it's likely that there was still some very male, like he was, there was, it wasn't all your lubrication.
[00:19:24] Ally: Possibly Theresa Mouse, yeah. I did shower in between. So like when i when I shower, I do wash up in there and like deep inside, but like, you know, a little bit inside.
[00:19:28] Mike: No, I get it, but it's it's not.
[00:19:32] Mike: You don't wash the deep inside your vagina though. I mean, there's, okay.
[00:19:38] Ally: like
[00:19:38] Mike: So did you, did, so the second, so did you think it, did you, did you, was this notable to you at all? I mean, like you basically had two men sperm trying to both go into your fallopian tube simultaneously.
[00:19:48] Mike: Was this arousing?
[00:19:50] Ally: No.
[00:19:51] Mike: No, that didn't matter at all.
[00:19:52] Ally: I guess it felt a little bit awkward. It did feel a little bit close together, I guess, but not...
[00:19:58] Mike: The second guy didn't know about the first guy I take it.
[00:20:01] Ally: Um, I don't think so.
[00:20:03] Mike: Yeah.
[00:20:04] Ally: He may have. I don't i don't know that he would really.
[00:20:06] Mike: What? No, no, he wouldn't have known it was the day before though.
[00:20:07] Ally: really
[00:20:09] Ally: Yeah, but he knew that I had recently broken up with the other guy.
[00:20:11] Mike: that's yeah I had an experience like this in college, not like, I don't know how, i this is the thing is I don't know, ah ignorance is bliss, but I was seeing a woman who I learned was seeing two other men simultaneously, and I then chose to stop seeing her as soon as I learned that. um but Yeah, I mean, like, this must have happened to me, basically.
[00:20:35] Mike: And like, it's not my favorite thing to think about. um You were the perpetrator of this sort of indignity.
[00:20:38] Ally: Yeah.
[00:20:41] Ally: Right.
[00:20:42] Mike: You guys were talking I think at least seven to eight months.
[00:20:42] Ally: How long do you think is an appropriate amount of time to wait?
[00:20:47] Mike: um But but more realistically, I think um
[00:20:48] Ally: What?
[00:20:50] Ally: No.
[00:20:53] Mike: 72 hours, maybe would be better for the guy like a little hiatus there.
[00:20:57] Ally: Okay. That's what you think the kind of self-cleaning cycle of the vagina is.
[00:20:59] Mike: I probably really would like it to be across a menstrual cycle because I feel like then your body's really aggressively.
[00:21:03] Ally: Oh, okay. Okay.
[00:21:06] Mike: It's kind of like the ah the deep cleaning cycle of the oven or the dishwasher. So we've really, you know.
[00:21:12] Ally: Yeah. What do you think about the Orthodox Jewish practice of like after menstruation, women have to go and visit these like ritual baths before they can be like clean enough to have sex with again? do Does that make sense to you?
[00:21:24] Mike: I can understand it prehistorically. I mean, people didn't understand what was happening in these people's bodies, and it seemed like something that maybe men shouldn't get get involved with.
[00:21:27] Ally: Okay.
[00:21:34] Mike: But in terms of but ah modern in modern times, no. i don't i just like The only reason why I just like the idea of extra fluid washing out, it's just that.
[00:21:42] Ally: reason
[00:21:42] Mike: That's that's all my thought process. I was like, oh, there's some extra material that's going to cross over and maybe ah eliminate this man's sperm. I mean, I realize that And you know, there's a lot of debate about whether the shape of the male, the head of the male penis is to, ah as a plunger to remove semen.
[00:21:57] Mike: Like this, it's probably not actually, if it was the most recent thing I've read is that like, there's a lot of doubt about the guys who thought it was, but that's like a thing that's been forwarded.
[00:22:04] Ally: Yeah.
[00:22:05] Mike: So, you know, even if my biology is designed to extract the semen of another man, I just don't want to do it. That's a part of my, my bo biology.
[00:22:12] Ally: Yeah.
[00:22:14] Mike: I don't want to get involved with.
[00:22:16] Ally: Yeah. So 72 hours, you say under regular circumstances. And what if there's some like deep irrigation, sort of pressure washing, you know like what if she really takes a shower head to it and is trying to clean it out deeply?
[00:22:28] Ally: Could that be less than 72 hours?
[00:22:28] Mike: think that would be unhealthy i want her to be able to be healthy and not have to do things that are
[00:22:30] Ally: Yeah, probably. but
[00:22:33] Mike: you know it's it's like um some of the more aggressive things that women do to remove pubic hair i find kind of weird like when you when you're actually it it varies but i mean like things people do that like you know kind of ah What is it?
[00:22:46] Ally: thing
[00:22:46] Mike: Laser treatment is quite painful, I think, for example.
[00:22:48] Ally: laser okay okay
[00:22:49] Mike: sos sort of like It weirds me out when somebody's like doing things that are aggressively painful. I realize pain is sort of your thing. so i like Here's the thing.
[00:22:57] Ally: and
[00:22:58] Mike: I actually respect that more because you want the pain to be perpetrated on you. you're not like I assume you're not sitting in your basement at night hammering, ah you know hitting your fingertips with a hammer.
[00:23:04] Ally: No,
[00:23:06] Mike: right You want someone else to do it to you.
[00:23:07] Ally: no no. Yeah.
[00:23:09] Mike: so That is more understandable to me, but this is people doing it to themselves. And so, no, I don't want a woman pressure washing washing her vagina. um Yeah, okay. Yeah, it would be more interesting if the guy performed oral on you.
[00:23:22] Mike: um I've discussed this with Keith before, the fact that like he does he's an aficionado performing oral on women, and like it's just clear to me. I don't know how many men seem and he's ingested, but it's several.
[00:23:33] Ally: Right. Yeah.
[00:23:35] Mike: Simply has to be. um So, yeah, I don't know. just And this came up, of course, I think, because you guys were discussing the woman who had sex with 100 men.
[00:23:44] Ally: Yeah.
[00:23:44] Mike: And that's a lot of froth.
[00:23:45] Ally: And Keith did say that if you were, well, he said that if you were like two or three or, you know, like a low end in line, that he would do it.
[00:23:51] Mike: I would definitely only do it if I was first. I don't want, I don't want to be, i I really, I don't think I could do it. I don't think it would be hard for me to get into it. If I had to stick my dick into basically a pot of other men's semen.
[00:24:04] Mike: I'd rather not. It doesn't sound great.
[00:24:06] Ally: Yeah.
[00:24:06] Mike: I'd rather just beat off in the corner. If I could just beat off on her face, like fine, you know.
[00:24:10] Ally: What if you knew that everyone had worn a condom? So actually, there was no semen in there.
[00:24:16] Mike: Yeah, that would be better. It would be better.
[00:24:19] Ally: So you'd be able to do it if if you were.
[00:24:19] Mike: um I don't know about be able to, it's still pretty gross.
[00:24:23] Ally: OK.
[00:24:23] Mike: So I listened to a podcast that was pointing out that not um not just what she did was gross, but the guys, like basically everyone's a loser in this situation, which is probably true.
[00:24:32] Ally: Well, yeah, yeah.
[00:24:33] Mike: ah Except for us. it's We're winners because we didn't have to do it and we get to hear about it.
[00:24:35] Ally: Passing judgment. Yeah, yeah.
[00:24:37] Mike: um So you guys also talked about ah something about stainless steel ball weights on people's nuts and doggy style. That I actually don't know anything about that. And I think you guys talked about it and had some product links people could go to to make some purchases if they want.
[00:24:51] Mike: um Do you get any sexual route, sexual, any meaningful sexual benefit from being a doggy style and having the guys nuts ah bounce against your clit?
[00:25:00] Ally: No, and I can't even say that I've ever felt what that question asker described. I don't think I feel the balls during that time.
[00:25:05] Mike: OK.
[00:25:08] Mike: It does seem like a benefit, a potential benefit for a woman to ah do hair removal. Right. I mean, if you if you have pubic hair, then you really probably wouldn't feel it because it would.
[00:25:17] Ally: Oh yeah. I don't think the problem is a hair. Like I, you know, shave everything down there pretty often. I think it's more position and maybe, I mean, maybe the balls are not long enough on my partners for me to feel them like this.
[00:25:32] Mike: Didn't we agree that you have a pretty big clit, though?
[00:25:35] Ally: Yeah. But is the, I guess this will again be one of those discussions about like anatomy and how things are pointing, but I feel like the balls would have quite a ways to travel.
[00:25:36] Mike: Oh.
[00:25:46] Mike: It's true.
[00:25:46] Ally: to meet the clip.
[00:25:48] Mike: Yeah, and as Keith said in the episode, as the man becomes more aroused, they tend to tighten up. So unfortunately, his arousal is if you did get something out of that, his arousal is actually kind of a negative for you.
[00:25:53] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:25:58] Mike: I see i assume that similarly in missionary, you get nothing out of the man's balls slapping against your anus.
[00:26:05] Ally: No.
[00:26:06] Mike: No.
[00:26:06] Ally: Yeah, and i I also don't even recall that sensation being part of the experience.
[00:26:10] Mike: So I don't know if you're i don't if you're interested in this, but there is a porn on the internet of a man who manages to put his penis in a woman's vagina and his balls and in her inner anus.
[00:26:18] Ally: Oh wow.
[00:26:19] Mike: So if you wanted to see that sometime, you can look it up.
[00:26:20] Ally: Hmm. I don't think so. No.
[00:26:22] Mike: Pretty good porn. Okay.
[00:26:24] Ally: Yeah.
[00:26:25] Mike: So we have this other topic that came up, but I want to read because we actually have, so you had a question, but we have a topic that I think is very on point. So let me let me read that first and let's talk about it. This is the question of, How do you get a guy to behave more masculine?
[00:26:37] Mike: you So I assume you are dating a guy who is um very beta, which, you know, you're not getting your ass beat the way you want, et cetera. Okay.
[00:26:47] Ally: i mean that's been the case with many partners
[00:26:50] Mike: That's really sad.
[00:26:51] Ally: yeah
[00:26:51] Mike: um Okay. My boyfriend is a masculine in my eyes. This is from the two X chromosomes subreddit. So this is ah women and you can't, as a man, it's hard to comment on the subreddit because you if you don't just say just the right words, you get banned.
[00:27:04] Mike: Okay, we went to his Christmas party last night, his company Christmas party. As we were waiting for our Uber out on the sidewalk, I noticed a girl standing by herself waiting for a ride on the corner. I didn't like that she was waiting by herself, so I was keeping an eye on her while we were outside talking.
[00:27:12] Ally: I mean, that's been the case with many partners.
[00:27:15] Mike: This drunk kid was running around talking to talking to himself, and eventually I saw him go up to her. I was watching the whole time to see her body language, see if she was okay, and when I saw her walk away, I walked over there and my boyfriend followed. I just stayed in her general vicinity, and she walked over and asked if she could wait with us, and I said, of course.
[00:27:31] Mike: I came over here because I didn't like that you were waiting by yourself and the drunk guy was bothering you. She was super appreciative and we waited with her until the Uber came. As her Uber got there, the drunk guy walked straight to it, opens the passenger seat and is trying to get in.
[00:27:42] Mike: I walked over there and let the Uber driver know this guy's not with her and don't let him in the car. Tell the drunk guy to go away and this isn't his Uber and try to shove him off the car, but he isn't budging. I look over and my boyfriend is still standing on the corner looking at his phone to see when our Uber is coming.
[00:27:53] Ally: I don't know.
[00:27:54] Mike: This sounds like your boyfriend, right, Ali?
[00:27:56] Ally: No, this sounds worse than.
[00:27:58] Mike: Okay. I call out to him to come help and he just still stands there. Fed up, I go back inside the venue to find some guy bartenders who instantly dropped their cleanup to come outside and help. My boyfriend just stood there the entire time and watched me fend off a drunk guy by myself. His defense is he doesn't know what people are capable of and people can be dangerous, but he's perfectly okay with watching his girlfriend walk into that. I really don't know where to go from here, but I can't even see him as a man anymore if he's not going to protect me okay So that's ah that's a person asking, I guess commenting slash asking kind of what should she do and what's going on here.
[00:28:22] Ally: Yeah.
[00:28:28] Mike: What's your question? It's similar, right?
[00:28:31] Ally: Well, similar I mean, in this case, I think what this guy did is unacceptable and that she should leave him because he clearly doesn't care about her.
[00:28:36] Mike: What do you think your boyfriend, what would your boyfriend have done in this situation?
[00:28:40] Ally: Oh, I mean, he would back me up and you know follow me over there to try and get the drunk guy to leave.
[00:28:43] Mike: You think so?
[00:28:47] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:28:48] Mike: Okay. Okay. Does he take marial martial arts or something or does he pack heat?
[00:28:49] Ally: um No, no, I think he's just, no, he's just, I think, fairly confident and doesn't like, you know, ah
[00:28:57] Mike: Okay.
[00:29:02] Ally: men overstepping there, I guess.
[00:29:04] Mike: Oh, he's a feminist. That's not, that's not what I was hoping. you That's not okay.
[00:29:07] Ally: Yeah, I know, and yeah I know.
[00:29:07] Mike: So what is your, what is his beta in here that you're trying to fix? You're trying to fix him. Yeah. It's always a good, that's a good way to start as a woman is trying to fix your significant other.
[00:29:18] Mike: Yeah. Okay.
[00:29:18] Ally: Every time though, because I just can't find a guy with the right mix of qualities.
[00:29:19] Mike: Let's share it. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:29:25] Ally: I wish he would be more assertive and more dominant and I guess behave in ways that I consider
[00:29:27] Mike: Okay.
[00:29:32] Ally: more masculine.
[00:29:34] Mike: So what is the, lead so this is, this is a situation where you think he would be masculine, but I think we can treat the same subject here by asking you what is, what's like your example or what's a fabricated example that gives an idea of how this guy you're dealing with, uh, would not be sufficiently masculine.
[00:29:34] Ally: um
[00:29:51] Ally: you um
[00:29:55] Mike: Other than wanting you to insert his penis in yourself.
[00:29:58] Ally: Right, yeah, I mean, he has a lot of anxiety about things. he doesn't doesn't like to make a decision without consulting me. If it's something that's going to affect both of us, you know, like rather than saying like, Hey, you know, here's the plan.
[00:30:11] Ally: Like we're going to go here for dinner and then I'm going to take you to this other place. And then, you know, he'll ask me like, what do I want to do? And then like, have some options and like consult with me on those options, which like is good, is is nice, is definitely something I would want like a friend to do.
[00:30:18] Mike: Hmm.
[00:30:24] Ally: But sometimes I just want him to take charge and kind of tell me what we're going to do or to be a little bit more assertive around me, I guess.
[00:30:33] Mike: Okay.
[00:30:34] Ally: Or to be more confident in himself, maybe.
[00:30:34] Mike: So.
[00:30:37] Mike: And you're sure that he's not doing this because of behaviors you've had. In other words, has there been ah has there been a trajectory of this behavior? Has it been the same the whole time? And the reason you see why I asked this, like maybe you have somehow trained him by behaving in less than optimal ways when he's tried to just take charge and decide things.
[00:30:47] Ally: Yeah.
[00:30:54] Ally: So that's possible. I would say he's been like this the whole time and that he does like it when I am very assertive. And when, that you know, I have a plan, I tell him like, Hey, you know, here's what we're going to do. but i I know, I know.
[00:31:03] Mike: Well, that's not a good sign. Okay, so he's he's submissive.
[00:31:06] Ally: So yeah, so I guess I'm wondering, like, should, should I try being more submissive and, you know, feminine and uncertain in order to try and provoke him to take on the more dominant assertive role?
[00:31:08] Mike: Have you tried?
[00:31:19] Ally: Or should I like, Yeah, should I, you know, kind of nag him into it or like kind of lightly make fun of him until he like does it?
[00:31:27] Mike: Well, I have ah in my life listened to more than 100 hours of Dr.
[00:31:29] Ally: I don't know.
[00:31:34] Mike: Laura Schlesinger.
[00:31:35] Ally: Oh, okay.
[00:31:35] Mike: ah noted ah very, very conservative. and I don't know if she's she's ah not very well viewed by the culture at large, but I think she would say, ah you're you have to move on to a new person. That would be her advice. is that There's no way you can change the behaviors of a person if they don't meet your needs. That's the function of dating and you've simply, you've excluded him. You've you've realized that he's not.
[00:31:58] Mike: going to be the person you want him to be. you can't make You're basically like, how do I make him do this thing I want him to do? and But it's a pretty core personality trait, right?
[00:32:08] Ally: I guess. So do you think there's no you think there's no difference in how I behave?
[00:32:09] Mike: And that makes you sad.
[00:32:13] Ally: You think he would behave the same way regardless of...
[00:32:16] Mike: Well, I think the question I asked was on point. Like if you saw a trajectory in his behavior, then yeah, it could be your fault basically. And you could just basically re rewind out those behaviors and and, and, and change your behavior.
[00:32:28] Mike: But the problem is, I mean, have you met him like his parents, if they're still alive, you met like friends, like, does, do you get any indication that he's ever behaved in a way differently from this? Also, have you tried pegging him?
[00:32:40] Mike: Nothing. So, Oh, I know you don't want to, but
[00:32:41] Ally: And I don't want to do that. I haven't, I haven't met his parents. I have met his friends. I think he's basically the same person around them as he is around me.
[00:32:52] Ally: And yeah.
[00:32:53] Mike: Have you tried dominating him in the bedroom? just to not I know you don't want to, but just to see if he'd get super turned on and have a huge nut.
[00:32:59] Ally: Oh, so you're trying to make my sex life worse.
[00:33:00] Mike: That would be really indicative though, right? I mean, if you were like, hey, I want to tie you up. and No, I'm not. i'm trying to find I'm trying to get you the information faster. it's actually this is I know a lot of times I troll people.
[00:33:10] Ally: Yeah.
[00:33:11] Mike: This is not actually trolling. like if you if you If you were to have the following happen, you say, hey, I want to tie you up. I want to try bonding. And he like gets super excited and just blasts off. you leave You know what you wanna know, right?
[00:33:23] Ally: No, that's not.
[00:33:24] Mike: I mean, it's like, oh, now next stop, pegging train.
[00:33:29] Ally: ah No, I don't, I don't, I don't think he's like that.
[00:33:30] Mike: Well, but you've got the information then.
[00:33:32] Ally: I guess, you know, I guess I will say like,
[00:33:32] Mike: Well, why don't you find out? Why don't you try it? I could get you some really good rope at Home Depot, or we could go to Lowe's.
[00:33:36] Ally: his
[00:33:39] Ally: I don't have any interest in doing that. I don't even think I could convincingly do it. I guess I would say like early encounters, maybe he was more dominant.
[00:33:45] Mike: Oh.
[00:33:49] Mike: Hmm. This is like the five stages of grief you're ah you're bargaining right now.
[00:33:58] Ally: I guess I'm just curious in the in the general question, like do you think that me trying to behave in what I think of as a more feminine way would be beneficial for me?
[00:33:58] Mike: but
[00:34:06] Mike: So you're trying to get me to say that you're too masculine.
[00:34:08] Ally: or
[00:34:11] Ally: Well, I guess, do you think that's what underlies this problem that I seem to find myself with men who I think are not masculine enough?
[00:34:20] Mike: Yes, it does, but not in the way you are hoping.
[00:34:21] Ally: Okay.
[00:34:22] Mike: I think it's because um you're ah an accomplished young woman. ah your you know I think it's not actually, I'm not exaggerating if I say you're like in the top 0.01 or 0.1 or better percentile sort of like IQ, SAT score kind of stuff. And that's um for a guy, that's sort of there's there's just a huge cast of guys who that's just, they they don't feel like they can even sort of compete there.
[00:34:48] Mike: And um so your so so the the guy that's going to be attracted to you is going to be differentially more likely to be a guy who's like, oh, she's a girl boss. That's what I want.
[00:34:59] Mike: right And so and so just like if you just think about, like the and and you're not, I mean, so there are things you could the the things you could try to do.
[00:35:00] Ally: Right, yeah.
[00:35:05] Mike: I mean, you could try to change your image, wear lots of dresses and high heels and stuff like that to try to come off very, very feminine and see if ah people wouldn't, what's the word I'm looking for?
[00:35:15] Ally: i
[00:35:17] Mike: They're they're put off by or they're, yeah, I'm not sure the word, but they're basically guys who who are, ah they're afraid of you, basically, like because they're like, oh, this is, I'm not gonna be able to be, I'm not gonna be able to alpha her.
[00:35:32] Mike: And so there's a lot of guys that would just basically not even try because of that. And you were basically saying, look, you have this like sort of exterior, I think you're saying you have this exterior of qualities the But actually in and I think this happens to women executives all the time like internally you want to be like You want to have like a different personal from professional life like you probably you don't usually in fact Maybe you've never you ever dated somebody who made less made more money than you
[00:35:53] Ally: Yeah.
[00:35:59] Ally: Um, yeah, I'm sure.
[00:36:02] Mike: by a lot, well, you're you're having it's you're having a hem and haw, which means if if they did, it was like 1% more.
[00:36:03] Ally: Well, I mean, like,
[00:36:07] Mike: It wasn't like, somebody was like, but clearly, like they're just your're you're yeah you're the second fiddle. That's never happened, right? Where it's just clear.
[00:36:15] Ally: Well, my and my most recent ex, when we met, he made more than me. And then I, you know, then after about a year or so, I made more than him.
[00:36:23] Mike: how many right How many years older than you was here?
[00:36:26] Ally: And and he was 13 years older.
[00:36:28] Mike: Yeah. So, I mean, obviously the right way to do that would be to take one of those curves you can find anywhere online and say, well, I'm here in my earning journey.
[00:36:32] Ally: Yeah.
[00:36:35] Mike: He's there. And so um what I mean is, you know, you're earning more at your age than, you know, right.
[00:36:38] Ally: Right. if If you compare it to the same point, yeah, then no, I don't think I've ever dated someone who made more than me. Like the other example I was thinking of was like when I was 18 and I dated someone who was 34 years older than me, like he obviously made more than I did because I was in college.
[00:36:43] Mike: Right.
[00:36:52] Ally: Making no money.
[00:36:53] Mike: Have you ever dated anybody who was, have you ever dated anybody who was better, really at anything than you?
[00:37:00] Ally: Well, I mean, physically, certainly, like I've as you were better at like lifting and running and sports and stuff like that.
[00:37:02] Mike: No, okay, but again, you're sure, but that's because you're doing, a okay, fine, but they're male.
[00:37:06] Ally: and
[00:37:09] Mike: So I mean, let's do, let's narrow it to intellectual exercises where women and men should be more or less on the same plane.
[00:37:09] Ally: Yeah.
[00:37:16] Mike: Have you, have you dated anybody where you're like, oh, this person's just way better at, uh, than I am at and whatever it is.
[00:37:17] Ally: Hard to say.
[00:37:21] Mike: And in that being like not,
[00:37:23] Ally: Singing? I've dated a guy who is a better singer.
[00:37:26] Mike: Yeah, again, that sort of doesn't, doesn't count.
[00:37:27] Ally: Yeah, so I think the answer to your question is basically no. But I would love to date someone who makes more than I do.
[00:37:33] Mike: Right, right. Yeah, I bet. So that's, that's, I think that's your problem here.
[00:37:37] Ally: And any listeners, you know, please write in.
[00:37:39] Mike: So you want anybody who will beat your ass.
[00:37:41] Ally: Yeah.
[00:37:41] Mike: Yeah, so like a Hell's Angels type or a hedge fund.
[00:37:44] Ally: Yeah. Anybody who is, you know, in the highest tax bracket who also will be dominant in the budget.
[00:37:49] Mike: Aren't you in the highest tax bracket? Because it depends on what you mean there.
[00:37:52] Ally: Barely.
[00:37:53] Mike: Well, ah California state has that. uh, ironically named mental health tax, which hits you when you make over a million.
[00:38:01] Ally: Oh, no, not that. I mean, federally. Like I, I think I am just barely over the line for the 37%.
[00:38:03] Mike: Yeah.
[00:38:06] Ally: yeah
[00:38:08] Mike: Oh, let's check the tax tables here. I don't care actually. Um, yeah. So anybody who makes anybody who's paying that millionaires tax in California can write in, but yeah, I think you're in trouble here.
[00:38:16] Ally: Yeah, please get in touch. um drink of question yeah In terms of the question though, you agree with me that this guy is ah irredeemable and she should just drop him.
[00:38:27] Mike: Yeah, the looking at his phone. I mean, I think there are people can deploy different strategies. Like I'm not. I'm like five, eleven, like normal way to stuff. I exercise stuff, but I like, yeah, I mean, I wouldn't want to get into a boxing match with somebody, but I would deploy rhetorical strategies and delaying tactics against this drunk guy. I wouldn't immediately start fighting him physically. And also, I have to say that like now ah ah I'm sure you're familiar with the case, and there have been a lot of cases like this of a man, Daniel Penny in New York, who was recently acquitted.
[00:38:55] Ally: Oh, yeah.
[00:38:56] Mike: He put somebody in a headlock who was druggy but happened to be the right ethnicity to trigger and prosecution, call it.
[00:38:56] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:04] Mike: ah Yeah, I mean, I actually have to say it like that. um but you know There's this notion of being a good Samaritan, like helping out.
[00:39:10] Ally: and
[00:39:10] Mike: And I like that idea, but when you hear about people basically going to jail for trying to... So this is the thing, I'd be worried about that too. Like, okay, if I obstruct this drunk kid, ah let's say he's of an underrepresented minority, for example, I would be afraid if I hurt him, legitimately, i'm not that I would get prosecuted.
[00:39:16] Ally: Right. Okay.
[00:39:27] Mike: And so I'd be worried about that.
[00:39:28] Ally: Yeah.
[00:39:28] Mike: So I think most of my effort would be in trying to get the woman away from him. So it's like, hey, you know we'll get you another Uber, like don't worry about it.
[00:39:32] Ally: Yeah, defusing the situation. Yeah.
[00:39:35] Mike: Uh, like let's just go back in the bar and we'll call someone and like, just let this guy go on his way as opposed to actually fighting the guy.
[00:39:40] Ally: yeah
[00:39:41] Mike: But I definitely would have involved myself. Uh, if my wife, girlfriend was, was involved, I wouldn't allow that. I mean, that's ridiculous.
[00:39:48] Ally: Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't pretend like you don't know her.
[00:39:51] Mike: Right. But I'm not sure which is worse. Honestly, that kind of like in-person kind of fighting situation or a man who earns less than you and requires you to put his penis in him. I don't know, man.
[00:40:03] Mike: Those are both pretty bad.
[00:40:04] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:40:08] Mike: I want to, I too want to find you somebody, actually it'd be good to find you somebody your own age that can do it too.
[00:40:08] Ally: Both disappointing. yeah
[00:40:14] Mike: Cause you, and speaking of that, yeah, speaking of that, we got a question here.
[00:40:15] Ally: Yeah, that would be novel.
[00:40:19] Mike: A person who thinks she got baby trapped. She's, mean she's 23 woman and she got into a relationship with a 47 year old man. So this is actually more of an age gap than you typically experience, right?
[00:40:30] Mike: Right. now like Okay.
[00:40:31] Ally: Yeah. Also, I like the way this question is worded.
[00:40:33] Mike: Um,
[00:40:36] Ally: Me23F got into a relationship with 47M.
[00:40:39] Mike: Yeah, could be a non-English speaker, so maybe it's the only.
[00:40:43] Ally: definite Oh yeah, at the end it says, sorry, S-O-R-I, my English is not the best.
[00:40:48] Mike: Yeah, they speak some language. where You know, actually, they could be a Russian speaker because that there's some things about it.
[00:40:52] Ally: Oh, okay.
[00:40:53] Mike: Yes, that.
[00:40:53] Ally: Will you read it in a Russian accent?
[00:40:56] Mike: No, no, that would be embarrassing.
[00:40:56] Ally: Okay.
[00:40:57] Mike: You could do your British accent, though.
[00:41:00] Ally: No.
[00:41:01] Mike: No, I didn't think so. Okay. I clearly stated that I'm not into marriage and kids, just short-term fun. There's a woman who wants short-term fun, so not exactly Kelly from The Office.
[00:41:08] Ally: Yeah.
[00:41:12] Mike: Okay. You get that joke? No.
[00:41:14] Ally: and No, I haven't seen the office.
[00:41:14] Mike: Okay. I watch The Office a lot and I found that it's Mindy Kaling.
[00:41:17] Ally: Oh, is Kelly, this is she yeah physically short? Is that the Indian woman? Oh, yeah, I know.
[00:41:21] Mike: It's the Indian woman and there's a funny line where she's always on and off again dating Ryan.
[00:41:22] Ally: him and like Okay.
[00:41:27] Mike: who they actually did date in real life. the act the They're both writers from the show, right? But anyway, ah he says, you know my my idea of having fun is you know going out and having a few laughs and some drinks. And I'm learning that Kelly's idea of having fun is immediately getting married and having kids, which is true of a lot of women.
[00:41:44] Mike: Okay. I clearly stated this woman is not an emergent kid, it's just short-term fun. We have met a few times to get drinks and sleeped slept together within the last two months.
[00:41:52] Ally: together.
[00:41:53] Mike: Yeah. We use protection every time, but after I was 10 days late, I took the test and it was positive. Doctor confirmed I'm five and a half weeks weeks pregnant, four days ago. I wanted to think about, did I want to keep the baby or not for a few days?
[00:42:04] Mike: Also, I told two of my best friends about it, but today he came to me and said he is happy he's happy about it and begged me to continue with pregnancy. I don't know who told him. Maybe he's got a deal and in with the doctor.
[00:42:15] Ally: weird and no,
[00:42:15] Mike: Now, I'm sure I want an abortion because I didn't get pregnant accidentally. I don't think he could change he could change his mind just like that. Have you experienced a thing like this where there's a guy who's like trying to baby trap someone? Does this sound plausible?
[00:42:27] Ally: no, i I don't even really understand how he would have found out. Like you can't be certain that you're going to get someone pregnant.
[00:42:35] Mike: Well, here's an idea. This is just I mean, I don't I don't spend a lot of time thinking about this. But and if the woman came to my house and used the restroom, I could have ah the like a pregnancy test somehow inserted into the toilet so I could do a pregnancy test off for urine stream there.
[00:42:50] Mike: And then I would know I doubt he did that.
[00:42:50] Ally: Oh, interesting.
[00:42:52] Mike: But that would be a kind of an alpha male way to get this information.
[00:42:52] Ally: Yeah, yeah.
[00:42:56] Mike: um I do fancy myself a little bit of a Jay Z or a a P Diddy um with the young women.
[00:42:56] Ally: Right.
[00:43:02] Ally: Yeah, that would be, I mean, that would be an interesting thing to kind of rig up, like, because you, I mean, it would immediately, the urine would immediately get diluted.
[00:43:12] Ally: So you would need to really alter the flow of it.
[00:43:16] Mike: Right. Yeah. We're getting into Theranos territory here where you'd have to, if there, it's Theranos, you'd have to figure out how to use a very small amount of urine to do your test.
[00:43:18] Ally: Anyway. Yeah. Yeah, right.
[00:43:23] Mike: Um, I do this, this kind of thing. ah There are more men that you think in the world than you think in the world that know how to rig this kind of device up. And the reason why, of course, is there are a lot of toilet cams.
[00:43:34] Mike: And I know this because there are websites where you can watch live toilet cams.
[00:43:35] Ally: Oh, okay.
[00:43:40] Mike: Yes.
[00:43:40] Ally: Where is the toilet cam in the toilet?
[00:43:44] Mike: So.
[00:43:44] Ally: Like under the back of the seat?
[00:43:47] Mike: No, no, no, no, no, no, it's in the it's in the bowl. It's in yeah in the bowl. So you're looking up at.
[00:43:51] Ally: Like below the water?
[00:43:54] Mike: You know, when you when you ask me where it was that that was one doubt I had in my mind, and it seems unlikely because we as we know, you being a professional scientist on some level know that there's the index index of refraction of water and when you switch to air, everything's going to get distorted and the woman's vagina won't be lovely the way you want it to or anus.
[00:44:11] Mike: You won't see the feces coming out nicely. So I'm guessing it's above the water line. um but you what But what I can tell you, you see, is you see her, it could be fake, anything could be fake, it could be like ah some sort of a dorm they've set up with these and women just go in and use the bathroom repeatedly, I don't know, although I guess I just don't know, it could be fake.
[00:44:17] Ally: Okay.
[00:44:31] Ally: Do you think it's like below the rim of the bowl, like under?
[00:44:33] Mike: No, no, it's it's it looks like you're it looks like you can see sort of the full moon of her butt.
[00:44:34] Ally: kind of Yeah.
[00:44:39] Mike: Like you can see the full picture of what's happening there, right? Like you can see her anus, you can see her anus dilating and then the poop coming out slowly. And then the poop does generally fall behind you.
[00:44:49] Ally: Weird, OK.
[00:44:51] Mike: So I'm guessing it's in the front part of the bowl. Yeah.
[00:44:54] Ally: Oh, oh, are these like European toilets where like the hole is at like toward the front?
[00:44:59] Mike: I don't know because it's not pointing downward, but probably and probably it's fake now that I think about it. But there have been people who've gotten discovered with these sort of instrumented bathrooms, ah getting women in them to do it.
[00:45:09] Ally: Okay.
[00:45:11] Mike: So so it's not impossible. But anyway, OK, men, women do baby trap men, right? Have you ever known a woman that baby trapped a man?
[00:45:18] Ally: Yeah, I guess. Well, i've I've known now two men who claim that their third child was unplanned and kind of unwanted by them, but that like the women, you know, their wife at the time got pregnant.
[00:45:20] Mike: There we go.
[00:45:26] Mike: But you haven't known a woman who like got pregnant by maybe a wealthy guy. I mean, like my general, I mean, so I know that Elon Musk has had children with many, many different women. women And I sort of imagine that's like, basically there is no woman who's on birth control when having sex with that man.
[00:45:37] Ally: Right, right.
[00:45:42] Mike: Cause it's just, I don't know how many, you probably get at least 20 million bucks.
[00:45:44] Ally: I don't even think he actually has sex with them. I think he uses IVF.
[00:45:48] Mike: All right. That's what you said. Why, why, why don't you think he has sex with him? I mean, I think he, he seems like a pretty erotic individual.
[00:45:57] Ally: I don't know. i I feel like maybe I've read an interview with one of them.
[00:45:58] Mike: They're very attractive, by the way.
[00:46:02] Mike: Have you ever looked at his, like his ex wife, a picture of her or that, um, that woman with whom he had the kid to Lula Riley to Lula Riley and Grimes?
[00:46:02] Ally: said that No.
[00:46:08] Ally: Grimes? I looked at Grimes.
[00:46:10] Mike: They're both really pretty.
[00:46:12] Ally: Yeah, Grimes is pretty. I don't know who Lula Riley is.
[00:46:13] Mike: Well, if I was going to if i was going to um impregnate one of those women, I would definitely want to do it in person because I think I would have a quite high orgasm intensity.
[00:46:19] Ally: Yeah, I think he did have sex with Grimes, but I think that like the the woman who works for him who had his kid, I don't think they had sex.
[00:46:27] Mike: You don't think that he was, you know, if she works for him, you don't think they just were, you know, they met in the corridors and went in the, I mean the typical room where I've worked that you fuck is the ah mother's lactation room.
[00:46:38] Mike: So they went in there, you know, it has, cause it has the windows closed, although you can't see in because the lactation, but of course they don't realize that men have something they need to extract as well.
[00:46:39] Ally: Ah, interesting.
[00:46:47] Mike: So it's not always going to be used for, for, for milk.
[00:46:48] Ally: Right, right.
[00:46:51] Mike: Uh, anyway, do you have any, yeah, masturbation chamber, whatever.
[00:46:53] Ally: Yeah, unfair that there's not a corresponding room, I guess, maybe the bathroom. um
[00:46:58] Mike: Do you have any evidence for the notion that he's done IVF yeah or is this just a theory you have?
[00:47:02] Ally: i I don't, not that I can, you know, pull to hand, i I feel like I ah read an interview, I can, I can try and check this.
[00:47:04] Mike: Okay.
[00:47:10] Mike: would you would if If you could get 20 million dollars, let's say, out of it, would you let yourself be impregnated by Elon Musk?
[00:47:15] Ally: No. No, because I just find the idea kind of, I find the idea of being pregnant very distasteful.
[00:47:17] Mike: Hang on. 30 million.
[00:47:21] Mike: 50 million. 70? Come on, Ally.
[00:47:26] Ally: I don't think that, I don't know.
[00:47:27] Mike: You're just lying. You would have that guy's kid for 5 million, I bet.
[00:47:30] Ally: No, no.
[00:47:31] Mike: Come on.
[00:47:34] Mike: I don't believe you. All right, there's a number because you then you would, I mean, you have all this work you do, but ultimately you are making money and you would see something do any of that and you could do some of your ah yourre passion project in your life.
[00:47:45] Ally: Yeah, but I mean, i maybe there's somebody's kid who I would have for like 10 million or something, but not somebody who I themselves found personally repulsive.
[00:47:56] Mike: You find Elon Musk repulsive, even though he's clearly an alpha man, he earns more than you.
[00:47:58] Ally: Yeah.
[00:48:03] Mike: Um, I'm guessing he's okay in the bedroom.
[00:48:03] Ally: He does earn more than I do.
[00:48:05] Mike: Don't know about that. He definitely on a Zenbic or something.
[00:48:07] Ally: No idea.
[00:48:08] Mike: So he's pretty thin now.
[00:48:10] Ally: Is he? Okay.
[00:48:11] Mike: he we I mean, I've seen some pictures that were pretty weighty from the past. Okay. So that he's not, he's not your cup of tea. What's, what's the number one reason he's repulsive?
[00:48:18] Ally: No.
[00:48:24] Ally: Honestly, like his weird pronatalist views and the way that he, you know, plays a lot of video games and like tweets, stupid stuff. Like I don't feel like he holds himself to a high enough standard of conduct.
[00:48:42] Mike: who If you had to be impregnated by somebody, who would it be?
[00:48:48] Ally: just be somebody like really smart. I mean, actually, I was having this conversation with my boyfriend earlier about like, there's a there's a guy I work with who I think is extremely smart, and just like a really good person.
[00:49:00] Ally: I was like, cook you know, like if I had to, and I don't want to say his name, because he's just like a random guy I work with, but like, you know, if if I had to, yeah, like just somebody who I think of as like the smartest person I know who also has a good personality and, you know, is a decent human being.
[00:49:03] Mike: No, of course not.
[00:49:11] Mike: so So you were talking to your boyfriend about who else other than him you'd like to be impregnated by?
[00:49:19] Ally: Well, he knows that I don't want to have his children.
[00:49:21] Mike: Oh my lord. What a cuck. You've cucked him out completely. How did he learn that? Did you tell him? You're like, hey, I don't want your children.
[00:49:29] Ally: Oh, yeah.
[00:49:30] Mike: But you put it that way. It wasn't I don't want children. It was like I don't want your children.
[00:49:34] Ally: Well, he knows I don't want children regardless. But like if I had to, you know if if there were a gun to my head or something, like and I had to choose one person in the world, like yeah.
[00:49:42] Mike: that it wouldn't be him. That's, I mean, that's really rough for a guy to hear. You can see that, right?
[00:49:52] Ally: I guess, but having a me I dated anyone who I thought should reproduce.
[00:49:53] Mike: Oh, it's so beta. He should he should at least been angry with you or have been like, what? Like what's wrong with you? I should have called you on that. I would have called you on that.
[00:50:05] Mike: the That's good.
[00:50:08] Ally: And I like these guys. I mean, I, you know, in some cases love these guys. I just don't think there should be more of them. You know, like I see their faults.
[00:50:15] Mike: Mm hmm. Okay. No, that makes sense. But but there's this other guy out there.
[00:50:18] Ally: I mean, I also don't think there should be more of me. Like, that's why I'm not reproducing either. I don't think there should be more of me, but if I, you know, had to, like.
[00:50:25] Mike: Huh? Well, but as Mr. Rogers said, like, you don't it doesn't like, you know, there were people. Let's see, there were people that had to love you into existence, as Mr. Rogers says, like, that doesn't impact you at all, like this idea.
[00:50:37] Mike: I mean, what about you? The choices your parents made? That doesn't like you just think they're rubes.
[00:50:40] Ally: Oh, I think they made bad choices. Yeah, I think they shouldn't have had me.
[00:50:42] Mike: All right.
[00:50:46] Mike: Why? Okay. And the reason you don't just commit suicide immediately is fear. Because you can fix it.
[00:50:52] Ally: No, I think suicide is a totally different question from reproduction.
[00:50:53] Mike: You can undo the damage. Well, not really, because it's the it's sort of the opposite. They're like inverse functions, right? Like abortion undoes ah fertilization and suicide undoes birth, right?
[00:51:12] Ally: I think of these as different questions. Like one is like, should you start something? The other is should you end something? Yeah.
[00:51:20] Mike: Okay, but they those are those are related. Starting and ending are related. We can agree on that, right? They're maybe not the same, but they're related in that they're inverses.
[00:51:30] Ally: Yeah.
[00:51:30] Mike: All right. Well, I'm not pros suicide. I hope you don't. I hope you stick around. I know that our listeners enjoy for the most part. um Okay, so hang on. So there we had another question that's related to something we talked about here.
[00:51:42] Mike: How do I know my vagina is aroused enough for penetration? you're goingnna I know your answer already. I had no idea. Okay. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex. She's 19 for the first time. I'm quite physically small for my age.
[00:51:54] Mike: She's only weighs 46 kilograms.
[00:51:56] Ally: i How much is that?
[00:51:56] Mike: So that's, uh, 46 kilograms is you multiply by 2.2. I know this from weightlifting.
[00:52:03] Ally: Uh-huh.
[00:52:03] Mike: It's true actually. Uh, so she's, she's in the low 100s.
[00:52:05] Ally: I mean, I could just Google it. but I assumed that.
[00:52:08] Mike: Well, you have to know it because when you go to Europe and go to await a gym, you know it's you don't have 45 pound plates, you have 20 kilogram plates, which is not exactly 45 pounds, it's a little more, I think, or less, less.
[00:52:08] Ally: Okay.
[00:52:17] Ally: Yes. Yeah. I realized this when I was in the Philippines and went to the hotel gym and I was like, oh, these are all like way too heavy. And then realized, oh, it was just, they were the weights ring.
[00:52:26] Mike: Right.
[00:52:27] Ally: Yeah.
[00:52:28] Mike: Okay. He's obviously taller and bigger, including his dick. I've noticed that when it comes to my vagina, putting in one finger is uncomfortable or even hard work, even if I just orgasm. I'm wondering how during our first time, I'll be able to tell when my vagina is turned on or relaxed enough for him to go in. I don't know how painful it's supposed to get for a first time. Was it painful for you the first time, Ellie?
[00:52:47] Ally: Yes, the first time, yeah.
[00:52:49] Mike: Did you like that? Did it turn you on having it be painful?
[00:52:53] Ally: No, I was kind of like, oh, I hope it's not painful every time, and then it wasn't. So that was fun.
[00:52:57] Mike: But you like pain. You didn't like pain yet. It hadn't happened. like If you could make it hurt that much again every time, would that be exciting for you?
[00:53:00] Ally: Yeah, I think I didn't even know. Right, yeah.
[00:53:05] Mike: Would you be like, oh yeah, he's gonna rip me open now.
[00:53:08] Ally: No.
[00:53:09] Mike: You don't want that pain. Okay.
[00:53:11] Ally: No.
[00:53:11] Mike: Too much pain, wrong location. Like you don't want somebody to like cut a piece of your labia off each time or cause some pain down there.
[00:53:18] Ally: No.
[00:53:19] Mike: No. Okay.
[00:53:20] Ally: No.
[00:53:20] Mike: All right. Um, all right. So you have no advice for this person. Let's see if there's anybody here that, uh, it comes down to experience.
[00:53:27] Ally: Yeah, I don't, I don't really know. Yeah. I mean, if she says even.
[00:53:31] Mike: Just use lube as someone's advice. Yeah.
[00:53:34] Ally: Yeah. Um.
[00:53:37] Mike: You don't have to put it in all the way. I guess with your small endowed men, they do typically put it in all the way. ah
[00:53:44] Ally: Yeah, but I mean, if she's saying even a finger hurts, that could be a different problem. I mean, how does she use a tampon? Like a tampon is bigger than a finger.
[00:53:54] Mike: She probably doesn't. She probably doesn't.
[00:53:56] Ally: Yeah, so I would say she should go to the gynecologist and ask about, you know, is it like there's a condition called like vulvodynia or something where like your vulva is just like too contracted, like the muscles are too tight. And I mean, I don't really know what they do to fix that. I think a series of like dilators, but like if you can't even get a tampon in, like that's not normal.
[00:54:16] Mike: Would you rather spend like months with a dilators or would you rather just get a guy hung like a horse just to rip you open? Which would you pick?
[00:54:25] Ally: Well, personally the latter, but it sounds like she's scared and nervous about it.
[00:54:28] Mike: Hmm. Yeah.
[00:54:31] Ally: So I don't think that she sees this as an attractive option.
[00:54:33] Mike: She could take an anxiolytic or something. Of course, then the guy would get charged with rape later.
[00:54:36] Ally: Yeah.
[00:54:37] Mike: So don't do that.
[00:54:38] Ally: Yeah. Or just like muscle relaxants more generally that probably would help too.
[00:54:39] Mike: Um, all right.
[00:54:42] Ally: Yeah.
[00:54:42] Mike: I want to get there you go.
[00:54:42] Ally: That's a good idea. i Muscle relaxants.
[00:54:45] Mike: Oh, fuck. This one's been removed. Damn it. It was what is the woman's appeal in an MFM threesome? Have you done an MFM threesome?
[00:54:51] Ally: No, I haven't done any kind of threesome.
[00:54:54] Mike: You don't want to do an MFM. No, you because there's too many dicks or.
[00:54:56] Ally: Uh, no, no.
[00:55:01] Ally: Uh, hmm. Yeah. Why do I not? I guess it just seems over complicated.
[00:55:08] Mike: Yeah.
[00:55:09] Ally: I don't know.
[00:55:10] Mike: overcomplicate, but you don't want to be penetrant. I mean, the so the people are saying they let, they're into sort of like where they call it the Statue of Liberty or the wobbly H where the woman's between the, cause the guys can high five up.
[00:55:16] Ally: It's not No, the Eiffel Tower.
[00:55:20] Mike: No, they the, the, the, it is actually in the, it is the, this is when the guys high five over her, they high five over her, thus making the torch.
[00:55:30] Ally: Eiffel Tower.
[00:55:30] Mike: Oh, is it the Eiffel tower? ka
[00:55:31] Ally: It's not the Statue of Liberty.
[00:55:35] Ally: Um, the Statue of Liberty would be like people in the crown or something like, I don't know. Um,
[00:55:41] Mike: No, no, hang on. This is according to UrbanDictionary.com, which I do view as the Statue of Liberty, a heterosexual heterosexual act that involves double penetration with a ratio of two men and one woman.
[00:55:44] Ally: there is a Statue of Liberty position. Why would that even be?
[00:55:51] Mike: It is performed similarly to the Eiffel Tower position, except the men are holding okay we're holding one pair of hands at chest level to resemble the Declaration of Independence and the other pair are holding a bottle of whiskey in the air to resemble the torch.
[00:56:02] Mike: that's It does have 17 upvotes, but that doesn't
[00:56:03] Ally: That doesn't make sense. That's a lie. I don't think that's ever happened.
[00:56:06] Mike: Yes, yes. um Okay, so it's fine. We'll call it the Eiffel Tower. ah You're not into that.
[00:56:13] Ally: Yeah. I don't think so. No. I don't know. It just seems like a lot going on. Like I even have trouble with 69 because I have to pay attention to like something happening to me and also doing something. And that's like just with one other person.
[00:56:28] Mike: Yeah. um Okay. But I mean, you you like both receiving verus, vaginal pounding as well as oral sex, meaning giving blows. So I feel like as a man, I don't want to do this because I don't want to see another man have an orgasm in real life.
[00:56:44] Ally: Oh, okay.
[00:56:44] Mike: that close to me.
[00:56:45] Ally: Yeah.
[00:56:45] Mike: It's just gross to me. Like, I don't want to see that. um i yeah I don't want to see men lose control or whatever you want to call it like that. I'm not excited about that.
[00:56:54] Ally: Yeah.
[00:56:54] Mike: but But you don't mind that.
[00:56:55] Ally: Yeah. No.
[00:56:56] Mike: You just don't want you want to be more focused on the task at hand.
[00:57:02] Ally: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:57:06] Mike: All right. um This might also actually apply to you. I like it slow and sensual. She likes it extremely hard and fast. I've always been a very slow and sensual lover, but my girlfriend likes it incredibly rough. That's cool and all. I wear myself out having sex with her. I always feel like I'm in a marathon afterwards because I like satisfying her. And it's fun, but man, it's not satisfying for me. I'll make her come several times, and after I feel like it's time for me to have sex with her at the pace I like. I verbally confirm, ah but then she just starts flailing around and grabbing, kissing me frantically. It's so hot that she likes me so much, but the sheer speed of it all is a turn off.
[00:57:41] Mike: I mean, you're not a you're not a speed person, but they're, okay, I'm actually sort of curious about this with you.
[00:57:41] Ally: Hmm.
[00:57:45] Mike: like i I do think that you fall in with these kind of slow central guys more than you'd like, right?
[00:57:52] Ally: Yeah, yeah, speed is not a requirement, but I think faster is good.
[00:57:57] Mike: So how do you, so, so this goes along with your question about how to make a guy more aggressive and masculine.
[00:57:58] Ally: um
[00:58:02] Mike: Like what do you see? You're lying there. The guy's kind of like, it's, it's like a, you know, 1970s RMB video. It's not what you want, right?
[00:58:10] Ally: Oh, yeah, that's exactly what I don't want.
[00:58:11] Mike: He's sort of rolling his hips back and forth.
[00:58:13] Ally: Yeah.
[00:58:13] Mike: And you want more like MC Hammer jumping around in baggy pants. What do you not? It's not MC Hammer, but you don't even know what that is probably, but ah you want something more aggressive.
[00:58:20] Ally: and I know who MC Hammer is. Yeah, more aggressive. Yeah.
[00:58:24] Mike: Wait, you don't know who MC Hammer is.
[00:58:25] Ally: No, I do know who MC Hammer is. I don't think of that as a sexual act, I guess.
[00:58:29] Mike: I know it's not, it's it was, I was just imagining an R and B. I was imagining a black person with more vigor.
[00:58:38] Ally: Right. Yeah.
[00:58:39] Mike: That's all. That's all I was trying to do.
[00:58:39] Ally: Yeah. R. Kelly.
[00:58:40] Mike: Uh, is he more vigorous?
[00:58:40] Ally: Yeah. No, I don't know.
[00:58:43] Mike: I don't think so. I think he's sort of slow. Like this is the thing. It's actually kind of hard. That's not, me I guess maybe like a ah football player or something like more kind of pounding, right?
[00:58:51] Ally: Sure. Yeah.
[00:58:53] Mike: Uh, so what do you do then? You just lie there and take the slow languid pace.
[00:58:57] Ally: No, no, I think I think what he's saying, like that um my sort of pace and yeah, like franticness art or whatever does like speed things up or, you know, can like the
[00:59:09] Mike: How do you do that?
[00:59:10] Ally: ah
[00:59:11] Mike: If you're on the bottom, what do you do?
[00:59:11] Ally: um Yeah, like i I guess like, you know, moving more like grasping at him, kissing him, like thrusting my hips up. you um Yeah.
[00:59:20] Mike: So you get really aggressive and and try to, do you prefer, but you prefer to be on the bottom.
[00:59:25] Ally: Yeah.
[00:59:25] Mike: This must be incredibly frustrating.
[00:59:29] Mike: Do you do it consciously or subconsciously?
[00:59:29] Ally: Yeah.
[00:59:30] Mike: Do you do it consciously or are you like, oh, I'm going to amp this up?
[00:59:32] Ally: Consciously. Yeah.
[00:59:33] Mike: So I'm imagining it's almost like ah what it would be like a Pilates class or something where you're having to do these hip thrusts and stuff and kind of push yourself off the ground.
[00:59:33] Ally: Yeah.
[00:59:38] Ally: um you
[00:59:41] Mike: And he's just, did do do the guys typically get the hint or are they just like, I'm just going to keep doing this?
[00:59:45] Ally: No, no, they do get the hint. Yeah. And particularly, you know, also like your, your arms around him, so you can kind of be like pulling, pulling him in or, you know, clutching at him.
[00:59:52] Mike: Oh, we have a question for you. Like, does it do they like the next encounter? Do they start out which way? What? what what hat Like, do they is there a long term learning here or is it require every single fucking time?
[01:00:02] Ally: I don't think they're, yeah, there's no long-term learning because every encounter is, you know, separated by at least like 12 hours.
[01:00:05] Mike: And.
[01:00:09] Mike: And you're unwilling to have just have a frank conversation about this, be like, look, I need you to pound the shit out of me.
[01:00:16] Ally: When I have brought that up, it doesn't reliably result in them actually doing what I want them to do.
[01:00:17] Mike: Hmm.
[01:00:25] Mike: They say no.
[01:00:25] Ally: They'll just be like, oh yeah, you know what I'm not doing.
[01:00:28] Mike: Whoa. And then what do you do?
[01:00:31] Ally: You know, i mean I guess I just dropped the topic. I don't know.
[01:00:34] Mike: This is, you know what this reminds me of is it's the it's like the thing where you fake orgasm. ah Well, it was somebody I talked to at a bar, a woman, she said that she fakes orgasm and then hopefully it comes within three minutes after the fake, but she'd had it where he didn't and she just had to lie there and just take it.
[01:00:50] Ally: Mm.
[01:00:51] Mike: She's like bored. She's thinking about like the the chores or whatever. This is like that.
[01:00:55] Ally: Oh, yeah. Oh, this was the woman who was dating the like bassist or something, right? And like dating a drummer, you know, guitarist.
[01:01:00] Mike: That's true. A guitarist for a Grateful Dead cover band who's the best she's ever had.
[01:01:06] Ally: That's, you know, a little.
[01:01:07] Mike: um Yeah.
[01:01:09] Ally: Yeah, the odds out there are not good. and The goods are odd and etc. But
[01:01:13] Mike: So so you know' so even so you have have you ever, this this might be useful for listeners, have you ever had a situation where you gave somebody this talking to and it worked?
[01:01:24] Ally: No.
[01:01:25] Mike: Yeah. See, this is why I'm so sure of Dr. Laura Schlesinger and now my advice on your boyfriend. like is You just can't change him. <unk>s Isn't that crazy? You say, like look, and the thing that you want him to do, it's like a lot of guys would be super excited about that.
[01:01:38] Mike: They'd be like, oh, this is... like I can tell you, like i a friend of the show listened to the things you wanted in bed and was like, this sounds pretty good, but then didn't call you about it.
[01:01:40] Ally: Yeah.
[01:01:50] Mike: So I don't know what to say about that. but um you
[01:01:53] Ally: Yeah.
[01:01:54] Mike: but
[01:01:54] Ally: It's disappointing to me, I guess, yeah, that they wouldn't change their behavior because it seems like a relatively small change and not a very, um, like not an unpleasant change, I guess, but I don't know.
[01:02:04] Mike: does.
[01:02:10] Mike: I think this but this all I mean, what this all comes down to is that you require a guy to be smart and accomplished as well as all these other things. So you're not willing to just go to the local boxing gym and just find like some guy who would just beat the shit out of you because there are plenty of guys who would do that.
[01:02:22] Ally: Right.
[01:02:26] Ally: Yeah. I imagine that would also be unsatisfying. I mean, can you imagine like being dominated by someone who you know is dumber than you? Like that would also rankle in a way.
[01:02:37] Mike: Yeah. It's a little like when, uh, when pulp fiction, when they do bring out the gimp, that doesn't turn you on.
[01:02:42] Ally: yeah No, no, no, no.
[01:02:43] Mike: I take it. The gimp fucking you is not good. You don't want that. Like a, a really, really, uh, ripped.
[01:02:48] Ally: Andre the Giant or something. No, I don't want that. Yeah.
[01:02:50] Mike: I was imagining a really, really ripped guy with down syndrome, just fucking putting it to you.
[01:02:53] Ally: Ew, no, no, that's illegal, I think.
[01:02:55] Mike: You're not into that.
[01:02:57] Ally: No.
[01:02:57] Mike: Is it? What if it can be consensual there? There are people too.
[01:03:00] Ally: and Can they? Can they consent, though? I'm not sure.
[01:03:04] Mike: You don't think a down syndrome person can consent to sex?
[01:03:06] Ally: Yeah, I don't think so.
[01:03:07] Mike: All right, we'll have to look into that for next time.
[01:03:10] Ally: Okay.
[01:03:11] Mike: um Anything more you want to say, Ali?
[01:03:14] Ally: No, um this has been eye-opening and somewhat disappointing.
[01:03:15] Mike: This has been really sad.
[01:03:17] Ally: Yeah, yeah, well.
[01:03:18] Mike: yeah I don't, I, I wish it worked better. I don't know what to tell you.
[01:03:22] Ally: Yeah.
[01:03:24] Mike: All right. Well, that'll do it for episode. What are we on? One 91 of your mileage may vary.
[01:03:27] Ally: 191. Yeah.
[01:03:30] Mike: Uh, and yeah, I mean like maybe the whole team will be back together next week. We got the holidays coming up, so it's going to be touch and go. I hope people don't get angry with us about that. Ali, are you around for the holidays or are you, uh, you're not traveling?
[01:03:42] Ally: I am. Yeah, I am around. No.
[01:03:45] Mike: That's good.
[01:03:48] Mike: Or not good. Actually, that's too bad. You're probably being smart, though.
[01:03:51] Ally: I'm going to the East Coast in January.
[01:03:51] Mike: yeah Everybody else takes vacation. That's smart. There you go.
[01:03:54] Ally: So
[01:03:55] Mike: um Okay. And I too will be around, although I expect to be in the snow at some point in the Sierra Mountains. If there is any snow, it's been pretty warm.
[01:04:04] Ally: Yeah, we should try to do one time. I think we recorded all in the same place because we went skiing together. We should try to do that again.
[01:04:08] Mike: Yeah. That would be fun. Probably in January or February to do that because of the holidays are always too much of a crush.
[01:04:12] Ally: Okay.
[01:04:15] Mike: As always, you can send us feedback or questions. YMMVpod at gmail dot.com. That's YMMVpod at gmail dot.com. I think I'm going to change the email address because Gmail is trying to get bitchy about sending out our ah weekly, our podcast.
[01:04:27] Mike: Like, ah you know, we send out an episode alert and they put some limit on the amount you can send out.
[01:04:33] Ally: Oh yeah.
[01:04:33] Mike: So maybe I'll start using something else. so ah But of course, it'll forward there so people can still send stuff there. um And people can sign up for it. It's on the website, ymmvpod.com if you want to get the show notes and stuff like that. We pay, as always, $10 for any and all feedback received unless you're an asshole. No, we pay regardless. although Sometimes it takes us a little while just because we're such busy people. So just notice us which what let us know which platform you prefer and you could be $10 richer from that. Thank you for listening and we will catch you next week on Your Mileage Mayberry. Bye-bye.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 191: Unspoken Desires, Heated Arguments, Unlikely Alliances, Hard Lessons, Surprising Revelations

Episode Transcript