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Episode 197: Handjob Nap Incidents, Anal Ultimatums, Bad Dragons, Teenage Masturbation Tactics

Team YMMV | 2-21-2025 | 1:04:17

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Keith and Mike take a measured approach to their latest batch of one-star reviews, which range from the standard accusations of misogyny to the more concerning claim that their voices induce sleep. Rather than engage in self-reflection, they consider the possibility of pivoting to the lucrative world of sleep podcasts. Keith, ever the economist, points out that their detractors failed to take advantage of the show’s longstanding policy of paying for negative feedback. This oversight only serves to reinforce his belief that their harshest critics may not be operating at peak intellectual capacity.

The discussion then turns to relationships, where a listener writes in with an ultimatum that can only be described as highly specific. Her husband, citing irreconcilable differences, has informed her that unless she consents to anal sex twice a week, their marriage cannot continue. Mike, applying his usual analytical rigor, wonders whether the man would maintain his conviction if the arrangement were reversed. Keith, perhaps naively, suggests a marriage counselor might provide clarity, though both agree that “twice-weekly anal” is unlikely to be a common sticking point in the profession.

In a seamless transition from strained marriages to teenage resourcefulness, Keith recounts the elaborate measures he once took to ensure privacy while masturbating as a teenager. What begins as a simple precautionary tale quickly spirals into an engineering case study, complete with fleece blankets, strategic clothing placement, and an emergency contingency plan for sudden parental intrusions. Mike, unimpressed, points out the sheer number of failure points in Keith’s system, ultimately concluding that this level of problem-solving may explain both Keith’s SAT scores and his current personality.

The episode concludes with an unexpected foray into the world of fantasy-themed sex toys. Mike has recently become aware of the *Bad Dragon* product line and, against his better judgment, feels compelled to investigate its possible connection to a popular series of romance novels featuring dragons. Keith, whose tolerance for nonsense has already been tested, takes one look at the website before declaring his immediate and permanent exit from the topic. The discussion, much like the episode itself, is both unhelpful and oddly compelling.

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [00:00:01] Keith: Hello, and welcome to Your Mileage May Vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial, but mostly in good faith. I'm Keith. My co-host this week is Mike. Hi, Mike.
  • [00:00:11] Mike: Hi, Keith. i'm I'm having a bad day now because you informed me that the women that were impressed with me at the bar where I was while skiing actually was just because I was steel manning Democrat policy positions for them, not because I'm just so cool.
  • [00:00:25] Keith: Yeah, I liked both that you were pleased with the reaction you were getting, and then
  • [00:00:32] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:00:32] Keith: revealing to you that the reason why they were reacting the way they were was because they don't know that you're a horrible conservative.
  • [00:00:40] Mike: Yeah, I was. Yeah. But I guess I did a good enough job. I mean, it is something there's something to be said for being able to steel man well enough that nobody can or they, you know, the casual observer can't detect it.
  • [00:00:50] Keith: I feel like RFK Jr. is sort of a Rorschach test for political discussion, right? Because he used to be a Democrat and now he's a Trumper, right? And he does sort of trust the science on some things, but he's also anti-vax.
  • [00:01:04] Keith: And, you know so he's like what people think of him is sort of a good test. But um anyway,
  • [00:01:12] Mike: Yes.
  • [00:01:13] Keith: I wanted to talk about... ah I saw this thing on Reddit today. And it was on a subreddit called True Rate Discussions.
  • [00:01:24] Keith: ah And this subreddit says, the purpose of this subreddit is to discuss beauty, its implications, such as the social issues, blah, blah, blah, blah. blah All right. And...
  • [00:01:31] Mike: Beauty being female, female beauty general. No, actually, there's some men on here.
  • [00:01:34] Keith: Well, in general. But there's some men on there, too.
  • [00:01:36] Mike: Okay. Okay.
  • [00:01:37] Keith: And... and ah A popular post today was, are bodies like this considered skinny, ah fit, and attractive? And the person posted ah pictures of four women.
  • [00:01:52] Keith: And I wanted to figure out a way to try to describe what kind of shape these women are.
  • [00:01:52] Mike: right
  • [00:01:58] Keith: they All four of these women are in approximately the same shape, but I don't know a good way to describe this to the listening audience.
  • [00:02:06] Mike: Right. I mean, i so but the idea I had was just to ask ChatGPT for some skinny fat. Skinny fat is the term, right?
  • [00:02:14] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:02:14] Mike: I'm actually not trying to be derogatory or just like descriptive. um But okay. So, I mean, I asked for some, but
  • [00:02:19] Keith: It's a good starting out point anyway.
  • [00:02:22] Mike: I asked ChachiPT for some.
  • [00:02:22] Keith: I think these women are slightly skinnier than skinny fat, but go on.
  • [00:02:26] Mike: Oh, okay. Well, i asked for some 20-something female celebrities with skinny fat bodies who are considered attractive.
  • [00:02:30] Keith: Uh-huh.
  • [00:02:31] Mike: ah Zoe Kravitz. ah
  • [00:02:34] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:02:35] Mike: kaa Kaya Gerber. It says she's a supermodel. That seems unlikely to be.
  • [00:02:38] Keith: I don't know who that is.
  • [00:02:38] Mike: ah Okay.
  • [00:02:38] Keith: I know who Zoe Kravitz is. Zoe Kravitz is skinnier than these women.
  • [00:02:42] Mike: All right. Lily Rose Depp. Same thing.
  • [00:02:45] Keith: also Also skinnier.
  • [00:02:46] Mike: So i can I can ask fatter, but keep in mind, you said these women were less than skinny fat, and I'm already having to go fatter than what ChatGPT thinks is...
  • [00:02:52] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
  • [00:02:53] Mike: Okay, Florence Pugh.
  • [00:02:56] Keith: ah Florence Pugh.
  • [00:02:58] Mike: Pugh, okay.
  • [00:02:58] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:02:59] Mike: Let me take a look at a picture of this person.
  • [00:03:00] Keith: Let me get... Here. a what that that She...
  • [00:03:04] Mike: Okay, I think she's a little fatter than the women that you have on this subreddit here. um
  • [00:03:10] Keith: yeah
  • [00:03:10] Mike: She's a little more plump, I would say. Okay.
  • [00:03:14] Keith: Florence Pugh bikini here.
  • [00:03:16] Mike: Oh, interesting.
  • [00:03:16] Keith: i don't know. Yeah, I think Florence Pugh might be around the kind of body type we're we're we're talking about here. At least it's it's it's good enough to proceed with the discussion.
  • [00:03:24] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:03:26] Keith: I think Florence Pugh is not quite as um busty as the four women that this person shared.
  • [00:03:34] Mike: I see here that she's well known for her roles as oath outspoken characters, which is kind of stereotypical, isn't it? Like a woman who's a little bigger is the outspoken character.
  • [00:03:44] Keith: I guess, but in her stuff, she was in Midsommar.
  • [00:03:47] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:03:51] Keith: ah She was skinnier then. She was also in Little Women, which came out just before the pandemic. um
  • [00:03:56] Mike: Oh, you watch all of the ah grant ah Oscar nominated films every year, right?
  • [00:04:03] Keith: I do. Yeah, there's the only Best Picture nominee I haven't seen yet is the Bob Dylan one because it's not streaming yet.
  • [00:04:09] Mike: And you, so you watched Conclave, was that one of the ones that was nominated?
  • [00:04:11] Keith: Yes.
  • [00:04:12] Mike: That's awful, right?
  • [00:04:13] Keith: Yes. We might get to reenact it because I think the Pope may die.
  • [00:04:18] Mike: Okay, but can we agree that it's awful?
  • [00:04:21] Keith: ah Have you seen it?
  • [00:04:23] Mike: Yeah, I did because i because i like i ah it sort of ticks some boxes for me. you know i like I'm interested in sort of like culty behavior and like weird and anachronistic religious things are kind of interesting to me.
  • [00:04:34] Mike: And I mean, I'm just going to spoil it for people.
  • [00:04:34] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:04:36] Mike: Like the new pope is a tranny and that's not, it's just, it's it's fine. It's just dumb. It's just like, oh, come on. like
  • [00:04:44] Keith: ah I had actually forgotten that part, to be honest.
  • [00:04:49] Mike: How is that possible? It's like the most important. i mean, it's okay. maybe Maybe because the film was forgettable to you.
  • [00:04:54] Keith: ah hu I thought the film was most remarkable for its cinematography and like the director of photography. like Just some of those shots with you know the popes in their red robes coming across the plazas and ah that kind of stuff.
  • [00:05:04] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:05:08] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:05:08] Keith: I thought it was very artful. I thought that sort of the palace intrigue was a bit interesting.
  • [00:05:12] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:05:17] Keith: I was a little annoyed by the palace intrigue because it was trying to thread this needle of being respectful to Catholicism while also being a bit woke. And did forget that, yeah, the big reveal in the end is that one of the Pope candidates is a transsexual.
  • [00:05:31] Mike: yeah It's not just, it's the one that's, it's the one that's selected is a, is, is, is a M wait F2M trends, sexual person.
  • [00:05:34] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:05:38] Keith: Right.
  • [00:05:39] Mike: Okay. So anyway, let's get back to these skinny fat people because I, I, this is interesting to me because I know this is a passion of yours, like sort of dissecting and understanding your feelings about various images of women, which I actually find genuinely interesting.
  • [00:05:39] Keith: Right. Right. Yeah. Sorry.
  • [00:05:52] Mike: Like your thought processes are more advanced than mine are. So what, what, what did these four women make you think about and that look like this other woman?
  • [00:06:01] Keith: I mean, these women are not, you know, sort of model skinny. right They all have sort of thick thighs. And um you know they're a little bit...
  • [00:06:11] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:06:15] Keith: Doe is too strong, but they are a little bit pudgy. And the thing they have in common is all four of them are you know boldly, proudly ah displaying their midriffs.
  • [00:06:27] Keith: And I think there has been ah sort of paradigm shift in the zeitgeist of what's considered acceptable. um or even sexy. Now, I find these women pretty attractive. there We can't see their heads. They've been cropped in such a way that we can't.
  • [00:06:47] Keith: But you know I think these women are probably ah literally more fecund than a skinny model type. Do you agree with that? you They're more fertile, more able to have a baby?
  • [00:07:04] Mike: but Probably, but I think that the Delta – I mean, you know, I don't – this is actually true that I don't know what to believe about fertility ever since Sabrina Williams had a kid. Serena Williams rather had a kid. Because I was sure – I mean, I really confidently told people like there's just no way. Like I was i was certain she was on some sort of – ah regimen of something because she's so muscular.
  • [00:07:24] Mike: I just thought there's just no way this person's to have a kid.
  • [00:07:25] Keith: Right.
  • [00:07:27] Mike: And then she did. And I just don't know what to think. I mean, that just implies what it implies is that for a couple possibilities. One, I could be totally wrong and she could be all natural, although most professional athletes use substances.
  • [00:07:37] Mike: Let's be honest. So and she's not alone in that.
  • [00:07:38] Keith: Mm-hmm.
  • [00:07:39] Mike: A lot of people do. But, um you know, it makes me think, hey, you know, fertility is like pretty broad, like it's kind of hard to shut that machine down. Right.
  • [00:07:49] Keith: hu
  • [00:07:49] Mike: So I don't know. maybe You know, yeah so yeah. are they more fecund? Yeah. But like not, not by a material amount, you know, the most important thing is that they're in their twenties.
  • [00:07:56] Keith: I mean, so maybe fecund isn't the right heuristic.
  • [00:07:57] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:08:00] Keith: I mean, I still think it is, but but let me just steal, man, your case for a moment. So, you know, you would argue that most women who aren't eating disorder skinny or morbidly obese are approximately the same amount fertile?
  • [00:08:14] Mike: In a modern context, see, that's important. if if it If we were living in 3000 BC Babylonia, I think you'd be right.
  • [00:08:18] Keith: Hmm.
  • [00:08:22] Mike: Babylon, rather, you'd be right. um
  • [00:08:23] Keith: Okay.
  • [00:08:25] Mike: but but But in a modern context, it's just not that hard for a variety of people to to give birth. That's the thing.
  • [00:08:32] Keith: All right.
  • [00:08:32] Mike: and so Which is fine, actually.
  • [00:08:32] Keith: So let me, let me.
  • [00:08:33] Mike: mean These are like inherited desires you have, so it's actually okay to talk about the fecundity.
  • [00:08:37] Keith: Right.
  • [00:08:38] Mike: Sure.
  • [00:08:38] Keith: Yeah. Let me, let me amend my initial statement. I believe these women are more stone age fecund than a much skinner woman.
  • [00:08:43] Mike: Yeah, I think that's probably right. Yeah, because look, ah a really skinny woman in ah stone in the Stone Age, that just means that she's not well nourished. It's just bad, right?
  • [00:08:54] Mike: its It's just a flat bad thing, much as obesity would be considered flat bad now.
  • [00:08:58] Keith: Well, yeah, I guess. But being healthy is good. Being able to move. Yeah, there's multiple things to consider there, I think.
  • [00:09:09] Mike: But I mean, i mean i think it's well or it's well you know pretty widely believed that one of the functions of breasts and buttock tissue in women is to advertise, like the way that their fat is distributed in their body is to advertise their fertility. And the fact that they have the extra reserves necessary to bring a child to term, and that attracts us because long ago that was like really important.
  • [00:09:33] Mike: And the men who valued that had
  • [00:09:33] Keith: yeah
  • [00:09:36] Mike: differentially better success bearing children. So this all makes sense to me. um So yeah. So, okay. So you're saying that these women, you're more drawn to them than you would be to ah like a straight supermodel type attract woman.
  • [00:09:49] Keith: I think I am. Yeah. I like that there's a little bit of body fat.
  • [00:09:52] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:09:57] Keith: Um,
  • [00:09:58] Mike: What, what body part are you most drawn to? where Where do your eyes go? let me just say, let me just say where my eyes go a,
  • [00:10:05] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:10:06] Mike: the the sort of con element here. My eyes go to their stomachs generally. Now, not all of them have bare midriffs, but I think three of the four do. And one of them I think might have, I know you're very sensitive to this, that the third one might have what could be like cutting scars. This is something that you've alerted me to in pictures before. There's something weird going on in her midriff, like in terms of like injuries.
  • [00:10:27] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:10:27] Mike: But generally like, don't know, I zoomed.
  • [00:10:27] Keith: I think it's just hithering on the photo from compression, but.
  • [00:10:31] Mike: Okay, could be. I see vertical lines and so forth. um but i But yeah, I mean, their stomachs seem a little bit distended or something to the point where maybe maybe my mind is thinking that they look a little pregnant.
  • [00:10:47] Mike: i don't know.
  • [00:10:47] Keith: Yeah, I think the third one is the least attractive.
  • [00:10:52] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:10:52] Keith: Maybe.
  • [00:10:52] Mike: But where does your eye go? Does your eye go to their breasts, their hips? Like where are you?
  • [00:10:55] Keith: i mean, i noticed...
  • [00:10:56] Mike: Okay. Okay.
  • [00:10:57] Keith: I like that the somewhat thicker thighs. ah like that three of them, anyway, have maybe larger breasts, I would say. You know, B, working into C territory.
  • [00:11:14] Keith: and
  • [00:11:15] Mike: and
  • [00:11:16] Keith: they ah They all have their arms exposed, I think. Let just clarify. Yeah. And so they're not... They're not... ah Yeah, overweight is too strong. They're like right on that edge between, you know, the ah ah BMI thing. there's There's, you know, athletic and then healthy. And they're right on the edge, I'm guessing, between healthy and whatever the next one is.
  • [00:11:42] Mike: Overweight.
  • [00:11:42] Keith: And...
  • [00:11:43] Mike: Yeah, that makes sense.
  • [00:11:44] Keith: it seems like a pretty nice place to be. I've commented on this before. you know i run ah marathons at a you know fairly decent clip, and I find that the women who are in the same corral as me, so they run a similar time to me, and for women to run a similar time to me, they need to be in much better shape than me relative to other women than I do relative to other men.
  • [00:12:05] Mike: Sure.
  • [00:12:05] Keith: And so they're often just sort of rail thin and Yeah, that seems too skinny. it's I also belong to a run club and volunteer at races sometimes, and it's interesting watching you know the elite women come through and then you know the college-running women and then the high school-running women and...
  • [00:12:24] Keith: ah They get, and I don't mean, you know, age wise, I mean, you know, the women who ran in high school and the women that ran at ran in college and they they get, you know, think they start like fairly unattractive and then they keep getting more and more and more attractive as the slower runners come. And then there's a point where it starts declining again.
  • [00:12:43] Keith: And it's just sort of interesting.
  • [00:12:44] Mike: Right.
  • [00:12:45] Keith: I don't think it is that way for men. I think for men, Basically, you want to be just about as skinny as you can possibly be. um you don't want to be you know You don't want to be an elite you know East African ah you know runner body type. that That's a bit too much.
  • [00:13:01] Keith: But you know whereas you might you know cut off the top 2% for men, you would probably cut off like the top 15% for women before they start getting into the most attractive women.
  • [00:13:01] Mike: right
  • [00:13:13] Keith: So anyway, yeah I just think it's sort of interesting.
  • [00:13:14] Mike: Yeah, I mean, i um might be a I might be gay on this, but ah yeah, I mean, I think that I prefer thinner than this. I prefer more athletic looking women.
  • [00:13:24] Keith: Yeah, I've always known that about you. You really like quite skinny women.
  • [00:13:26] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:13:28] Keith: That's why I brought this up.
  • [00:13:29] Mike: I just like athletic looking people.
  • [00:13:29] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:13:30] Mike: And so I um look one of the one of the things that I think men generally find attractive about some of the female body traits is something about it makes their body look less like a machine, like a man's body is kind of a machine, right?
  • [00:13:44] Mike: It's just designed to do things and it doesn't effectively like but breasts are like just not.
  • [00:13:44] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:13:49] Mike: for 99% of the woman's life, these are not a useful thing to have attached to your chest. like it's just It's just kind of crummy.
  • [00:13:54] Keith: yeah yeah Yeah, but...
  • [00:13:55] Mike: And so that's kind of attractive to men because it's basically this burden that the women have that's kind of just a realistically just providing a show for men. i mean, there's just no other real utility. Well, there isn't. There's no other utility to it um outside of childbirth.
  • [00:14:11] Mike: Go ahead.
  • [00:14:12] Keith: I don't... I don't understand why I don't really like women who have six pack abs. I would prefer, it's not that I don't like them. It's, it's a, it's worse than a woman who has a little bit of fat on her tummy in terms of attractiveness.
  • [00:14:26] Mike: Well, I think that actually makes sense because you're, you're noticing something that's different from the ideal shape for a man. Right. The fact that I like the, the six pack abs is probably, I think the more outlier here.
  • [00:14:34] Keith: Yeah, maybe
  • [00:14:37] Keith: more unusual. Yeah.
  • [00:14:39] Mike: Right. And the, but, but that being said, I appreciate this element where like breasts and buttocks and stuff like this make their body just less machine. Like I like that too, because again, it like emphasizes the difference between male and female bodies.
  • [00:14:55] Mike: Um, But yeah, like, but but it could well be that I'm just like bisexual.
  • [00:14:57] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:15:01] Keith: Maybe, although...
  • [00:15:02] Mike: And I'm like attracted to like male type women. And that' that's not right though, because women that look too masculine, I'm not, it's difficult to sexualize.
  • [00:15:11] Keith: Yeah. Yeah, i don't know You're going have to introspect on that on your own. We should move on, but...
  • [00:15:15] Mike: So you've, wait, I want to ask one other question though. You've, you've often said that you fill in, you, you get concerned about, for example, if you see a woman from the back,
  • [00:15:17] Keith: Okay.
  • [00:15:24] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
  • [00:15:24] Mike: because you your brain will fill in what her face looks like. These women have their faces cut off.
  • [00:15:29] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:15:29] Mike: I mean, have you thought about that at all in terms of how you're analyzing what they look like? The fact that there's some possibility their faces are just atrocious or something you wouldn't find attractive?
  • [00:15:37] Keith: Yeah. Yeah, I would be interested in seeing you know four pictures of skinny women, four pictures of women that are sort of in between skinny women and these women. you know like Just go up the scale and see if my opinions remain the same, because I'm sure, i don't know why human brains do this, but they assume the best of what they can't see.
  • [00:15:56] Keith: So if you see a woman in sunglasses, you will almost always rate them as more attractive than you would after they remove their sunglasses. Yeah.
  • [00:16:04] Mike: Right.
  • [00:16:06] Keith: And this is the same as if you're like walking behind a woman and you can't see her face. You can just see her body. Your body you're brain just assumes that they're attractive. And so, yeah, I'm not sure if what's going on here is I'm just assuming these are attractive women.
  • [00:16:19] Keith: We can see... i wonder to what extent this trick works. like We can see half their faces. like most Most of these women are cropped at the nose, which is a little bit higher than you normally see in this kind of situation.
  • [00:16:34] Keith: And so i wonder...
  • [00:16:34] Mike: Hmm.
  • [00:16:36] Keith: yeah like How high can we raise the crop before i start being able to like really judge their faceal and facial symmetry or whatever it is I judge to evaluate for attractiveness? I don't know.
  • [00:16:46] Mike: Right. That's the thing. I was wondering about that because they're, yeah, it isn't actually, ah they're not headless. They're sort of half headless. So, okay.
  • [00:16:54] Keith: All of these women would be a one for me. i might be I might feel a little bit cautious on three, but...
  • [00:17:00] Mike: A one, you meaning you'd have sex with them.
  • [00:17:03] Keith: Yeah, but I think I'd go for it.
  • [00:17:05] Mike: How, how, how ugly would a woman, I mean, okay.
  • [00:17:05] Keith: It's worth the risk.
  • [00:17:08] Mike: So you, you must have a pretty high bar for that. I mean, like if you, uh, What I trying to say? if you like is there a What does it have to get to for it to be a zero for like a one night stand?
  • [00:17:21] Keith: um I don't know, really. I feel like my bar for hooking up with someone is higher than most people's.
  • [00:17:30] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:17:32] Keith: i i nope out of a lot of would-be one night's dance um and it's yeah i don't know why i do that but i do
  • [00:17:40] Mike: I must deeply confuse the women. Yeah.
  • [00:17:44] Keith: uh yeah it may i don't think that happens to women very often but often has nothing to do with whether i'm attracted to them too so who knows all right uh let's move on um
  • [00:17:50] Mike: Right.
  • [00:17:59] Keith: Oh, yeah. All right. So this guy is about to have sex with someone 20 years older than him. So he says he is a 30-year-old male, and he got a new job. Since then, one of his co-workers ah seems like she finds reasons for me to come over to her apartment almost once a month.
  • [00:18:15] Keith: Sometimes it's to fix something. Sometimes it's to do something as simple as uninstall or uninstall her window AC unit, just menial things. Every time after she playfully says something along the lines of, well, what do I owe you?
  • [00:18:26] Keith: i always tell her it's no big deal. I mean, I was her manager and made more money than her, so I really didn't care. This guy's a little clueless. Last night, she seemed drunk and texted me if I wanted to get dinner with her and then go back to her apartment to watch a movie this weekend. She claimed there's nothing good in the theaters right now.
  • [00:18:41] Keith: Figured she's always wanted to bang, but I feel like she's basically coming right out and saying it now. I agree with this analysis. And then he wonders... And this is the thing I wanted to talk about. I've only ever been sexually active with people within five years of age with of me, never someone in their mid-50s.
  • [00:18:56] Keith: I really have no idea what to expect or how I should go about doing it, as I usually just prefer rough sex and wouldn't want to hurt or degrade her. I don't know. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you.
  • [00:19:07] Mike: So he wants he normally practices rough sext.
  • [00:19:07] Keith: Okay.
  • [00:19:11] Keith: Yes, apparently.
  • [00:19:12] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:19:13] Keith: Although who knows what he constitutes or qualifies as rough sex.
  • [00:19:16] Mike: And what is his age again? missed that.
  • [00:19:18] Keith: His mid-30s sounds like.
  • [00:19:19] Mike: What's his age? Okay. So there's a substantial age difference. She's substantially older than him.
  • [00:19:25] Keith: Yeah, well, and he probably has an experience. Even though he's in his mid-30s, it sounds like he's only had a few sexual partners, although it's it's not totally clear.
  • [00:19:35] Mike: Right. Yeah, I mean, I think he's going to have a challenging experience here because he not going he's probably not going to want to do this many times.
  • [00:19:45] Keith: Oh, you think a challenging experience getting aroused?
  • [00:19:46] Mike: yeah
  • [00:19:49] Mike: No, maybe, maybe, but I'm just thinking that she's going to be way into it way more than he is. And then he's going to have to let her down and that's going to create a complicated interpersonal situation for him.
  • [00:20:01] Mike: Right. Because he's going to have to like do some kind of a ghosting thing with this person that he has some kind of a friendship with.
  • [00:20:02] Keith: It may.
  • [00:20:05] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:20:08] Mike: So
  • [00:20:08] Keith: It may. Although the thing I'm more interested in talking about is, our women are older women more skilled at sex? And how much does that skill compensate for a perhaps drop in attractiveness? like Do those lines cross ever?
  • [00:20:26] Keith: Does the skill out outweigh?
  • [00:20:26] Mike: Well, let's start with, I think, I think we should start by asking, like, what are like, say two things that you think would qualify as ways in which a woman could be skilled at sex?
  • [00:20:39] Keith: Yeah, right.
  • [00:20:41] Mike: So like, what's what's the first thing?
  • [00:20:41] Keith: Yeah, that's why I brought this up, because I don't think ah woman's skill matters that much. but like So the first comment here is, 50-year-old woman here, we're not made of glass. Buckle up and prepare for the ride of your life. Might want a safe word. Okay.
  • [00:20:56] Keith: Okay. um
  • [00:20:57] Mike: That sounds kind of gross, actually.
  • [00:20:58] Keith: Yeah, it does. like I don't really want ah dominant woman mounting me for the ride of my life, you know like it's not or demanding that I mount her.
  • [00:21:02] Mike: but but
  • [00:21:09] Mike: Well, I mean, if it's a little complicated, well, maybe you would want that if, if she were in her mid twenties, but when she's 50, it's like, I don't, I'm not, I feel like that fits into some sort of stereotype.
  • [00:21:17] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:21:23] Mike: That's kind of negative or something. It's not, it's not really what, what you're, hoping for. i don't, I'm not sure that was, that's one of the things I would put on the list of skilled at sex things. um I was thinking ah things where a woman could be skilled at sex.
  • [00:21:38] Mike: I was thinking blowjobs and maybe like some more extreme acts, like some kind of anal thing or threesomes or having a sex chair bolted to her ceiling or something, some kind of like unusual aggressive play.
  • [00:21:40] Keith: Blowjob.
  • [00:21:45] Keith: Yes.
  • [00:21:49] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:21:54] Keith: Yeah. If there's something that you're not super comfortable with, she may be able to introduce it to you in a nice way. ah BDSM immediately comes to mind um or some sort of you know rope play, which I guess is under the same category.
  • [00:22:03] Mike: Right.
  • [00:22:10] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:22:10] Keith: ah ah Maybe there's like, I don't know, some contortionist position she may know. ah She may have a better idea of the proper cadence. Although I think basically anyone over the age of 25 who's had a few sexual partners has that figure figured out and dialed in.
  • [00:22:28] Mike: Right.
  • [00:22:28] Keith: There's just, I don't think there's that much leeway for women, to be good at sex. I mean, they can be terrible and they can be great, but doesn't matter that much, especially in early sexual encounters, I don't think.
  • [00:22:42] Mike: Yeah, I mean, look, this it goes along with the basic gender dichotomy of men. What's important about men is what they do, and what's important about women is who they are. So, I mean, they're just – she's sort of – which, by the way – actually, an interesting question.
  • [00:22:52] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:22:58] Mike: Which one of those b is the easier one for AI to replace? We can talk about that later. But – um it's Anyway, this is the thing. A woman is basically just sort of setting up her body in a certain way, putting makeup on, wearing certain clothes, having a certain kind of demeanor.
  • [00:23:11] Keith: Right.
  • [00:23:13] Mike: But then like when you actually start having sex, yeah, and it's I mean, this is like if you – yeah, it's hard not to be.
  • [00:23:17] Keith: They're passive in general compared to the man.
  • [00:23:21] Mike: It's hard when you – I think that when you look at porn, the women have a pretty strong incentive to create something novel that men want to look at and yet it's just difficult because –
  • [00:23:31] Keith: Yeah, like even in porn, like, ah look, I can already see the emails we're going to get for this. They're like, oh, you boys are are so naive. You know, there's there's so many things that women can do, blah, blah, blah. blah blah Okay, look, fine.
  • [00:23:42] Keith: But, you know, even in porn...
  • [00:23:43] Mike: you know
  • [00:23:45] Keith: you know, the average born is like the same, you know, i three or four positions, right? There's, there's missionary doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl. Okay. And then there's various riffs on those, but they're all sort of, you know, that, and in all of those, except for a woman on top, ah the band is just basically steering the boat.
  • [00:24:07] Keith: And even when the woman's on top, you know often the woman is sort of positioning herself so that the man can raise his hips to thrust in. and so yeah there's just ah yeah It's hard to imagine.
  • [00:24:18] Keith: ah i can imagine some variability ah and in a woman's performance, but I don't i don't know if like he's just going to be blown away by this you know amazingly sage woman.
  • [00:24:29] Mike: I, I, you, you mentioning this made me think of something, which is we, you know, we, I don't know if you know, but we got two one-star reviews in February this year.
  • [00:24:37] Keith: Oh, no. Wow.
  • [00:24:39] Mike: ah So let me, let me, ah you may want to hear a couple of them here.
  • [00:24:42] Keith: Okay, I'm ready.
  • [00:24:43] Mike: It's, it's basically exactly what you're ready for. The first one is titled Incel Vibes. Are you an incel, Keith?
  • [00:24:47] Keith: um I am not an incel. Although, do most incels? Actually, most incels are probably self-proclaimed. They're proud to be incels, right?
  • [00:24:56] Mike: Well, but I mean the definitionally, like you're just not, you're not involuntarily celibate.
  • [00:25:01] Keith: I'm definitely not celibate.
  • [00:25:01] Mike: um It says, if you,
  • [00:25:03] Keith: ah voluntar I'm veritile i' voluntarily Which is, I guess, the opposite of it in itself.
  • [00:25:07] Mike: there you go. You're a vol in cell volume. um If you want to get inside the minds of serial unalivers, this podcast is for you. Clearly the dudes hate women and want to live out some sicko fantasies of demeaning and punishing women because they didn't get enough love in high school.
  • [00:25:19] Keith: um
  • [00:25:23] Mike: Sad.
  • [00:25:23] Keith: no
  • [00:25:25] Mike: And then, ah
  • [00:25:26] Keith: I got a lot of love in high school.
  • [00:25:28] Mike: what a surprise that another duo of cishet YT men, what is a YT man?
  • [00:25:35] Keith: ah
  • [00:25:35] Mike: I don't know that.
  • [00:25:35] Keith: probably white in Gen Z speak.
  • [00:25:38] Mike: Oh, you got it. Yes. started They started a podcast about something that...
  • [00:25:41] Keith: How do they but do they even ah purport to know we're white?
  • [00:25:45] Mike: Good question. Good question. um Anyway, they we started a podcast about something that they are seemingly not very educated about, which is sex. Between the man explaining casual misogyny, which I think is what you've done here with the woman having to lie back, not having much she can do during sex, and blatant disrespect of women, it's clear who they are catering to.
  • [00:25:59] Keith: Mm-hmm.
  • [00:26:04] Mike: Besides that, their voices are actually boring and put me to sleep.
  • [00:26:08] Keith: Maybe we should ah reclassify as a sleep podcast.
  • [00:26:11] Mike: It's true. It's true.
  • [00:26:15] Keith: ah Wait, what have I said that's misogynistic? I can't remember. Oh, that went...
  • [00:26:18] Mike: Oh, just just the notion that there isn't as much of an active role for women in sex is like I think could be perceived as most misogynistic, right?
  • [00:26:25] Keith: Well, it could be perceived as misogynist. Anything I say could be perceived as misogynist.
  • [00:26:29] Mike: Sure.
  • [00:26:29] Keith: But am I being misogynist and saying that? I don't think so.
  • [00:26:32] Mike: Well, I mean, I think that misogyny is only possible in the eye of the beholder. So it sort of doesn't mean anything absent a subjective person.
  • [00:26:38] Keith: Sure, but fine. But if most beholders view it as misogynistic.
  • [00:26:46] Keith: Yeah, anyway.
  • [00:26:47] Mike: Yeah, I mean, it's just well, it just gives you an idea of like the ah the audience of people that are listening or looking around for podcasts to hate on, I guess.
  • [00:26:57] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:26:58] Mike: That's fine.
  • [00:26:59] Keith: well Glad they listened long enough to form such vitriolic opinions.
  • [00:27:02] Mike: Sure.
  • [00:27:05] Mike: Oh, they didn't. They didn't. Don't worry.
  • [00:27:08] Keith: Yeah, so, yeah, I just don't know. i would be interested in having sex with her you know a woman of that age just to see, like, mate yeah, maybe I'm close-minded here and there's some amazing thing that's, you know, I'm 44.
  • [00:27:24] Keith: i've I've slept with women in their 40s, but yeah, is there some new Pandora's box, you know, this big awakening I could have by having sex with a 70-year-old? You know, what but can they teach me?
  • [00:27:36] Mike: I doubt it. I think that it's...
  • [00:27:38] Keith: I doubt it too, and I expressed why. So you know if if somebody wants to write in and and let us know, that'd be great.
  • [00:27:41] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:27:45] Keith: All right, let's move on. um Okay, this guy fell asleep during a handjob. As the title suggests, I was in the middle of giving him a handjob when I noticed he had started snoring and he slowly went limp in my hands.
  • [00:27:57] Keith: Before this, he did say he was about to come, but there wasn't any ejaculation, so I don't know if he did. ah narrator he didn't He also seems to be moaning quite a bit until he went quiet and started to snore.
  • [00:28:04] Mike: Right.
  • [00:28:08] Keith: He's sleeping right now, so I can't ask him ask him, but I'm wondering whether I was doing such a bad job that I literally bored him to sleep. Then there's an edit. ah Thank you for all the funny and helpful comments. As many of you guessed, he was indeed just exhausted prior to us getting it on, and it felt good and relaxing, so he drifted off.
  • [00:28:24] Keith: ha um
  • [00:28:29] Mike: I've fallen asleep on masturbating before.
  • [00:28:31] Keith: I might have. I was going to say i definitely have never fallen asleep. Well, okay, that's I think I've kind of passed out while having sex before.
  • [00:28:44] Keith: ah Like what I've just had
  • [00:28:46] Mike: So from like substance use.
  • [00:28:48] Keith: Yeah, we've both you know drank so much and you know maybe we were having sex and you know disengaged for a moment and then I just fell asleep.
  • [00:28:51] Mike: Right.
  • [00:28:58] Keith: I don't think I've fallen asleep while inside somebody.
  • [00:28:58] Mike: Right.
  • [00:29:01] Keith: i just think that but having sex, especially for a man, is a fairly active endeavor. And so it's a little bit tricky to imagine a man falling asleep. Is it possible? Sure. But I don't think that's Occam's razor here.
  • [00:29:14] Mike: Well, but during a hand job, I think it's wait. So what do you think happened here? I was taking it at face value that he just, yeah, he was just exhausted. the hand drop You'd think the handjob wasn't so good.
  • [00:29:23] Keith: That's a theory.
  • [00:29:27] Mike: Yeah, I mean, generally, I think that men have a substantial desire. Like, look, it's not great for a guy to fall asleep during sex. Interestingly, probably, well, you know, there are questions that you see fairly often about women who want to have sex while they're they're interested in their partner penetrating them while they're asleep.
  • [00:29:46] Mike: For a man, it's sort of not desirable. And I would also point out that like falling asleep while you're masturbating is a pretty, particularly tricky thing for a guy because then somebody could walk in on you. um
  • [00:29:55] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:29:57] Mike: Because you're just, that would be pretty lame actually to like have somebody walk in on you and you're just sitting there with your cock in your hand and you're asleep.
  • [00:30:03] Keith: Yeah. Right. Splayed.
  • [00:30:04] Mike: Like that.
  • [00:30:05] Keith: Yeah. Not good.
  • [00:30:06] Mike: not sure what, like what, what cover story would you give? Like, I'm not sure.
  • [00:30:11] Keith: Uh, you
  • [00:30:13] Mike: And you have like a porn running on your computer.
  • [00:30:16] Keith: i have I guess I have a story here. really loathe to tell stories like this, but I've but i've revealed so much about my my childhood masturbatory habits that I may as well just...
  • [00:30:19] Mike: Oh, nice.
  • [00:30:25] Mike: Oh, you didn't get caught when you were a kid, did you?
  • [00:30:28] Keith: No. Well, not that I know of. so um
  • [00:30:33] Mike: Hmm.
  • [00:30:33] Keith: When I was a teenager, our computer was in the basement. and We lived in a relatively modern home. and so You couldn't hear... First of all, the... carp the the basement was carpeted and the staircase coming down to the basement was quiet.
  • [00:30:51] Keith: And so I couldn't really hear when people were coming. And, uh, what,
  • [00:30:57] Mike: Wait, wait, wait. So did you did you do things to remediate that? Was there like a door at the top of the stairs so you could make it? I mean, this seems like a thing that a teenage male genius could... not the Like there's a certain amount of genius that could to be applied to this, right?
  • [00:31:10] Keith: What's the Seinfeld episode where Elaine gives the co-worker tic-tacs so she can hear when he's walking around the office?
  • [00:31:10] Mike: To make sure that...
  • [00:31:15] Mike: Right. That kind of thing. I mean, you just it seems like it' would be useful.
  • [00:31:17] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:31:18] Mike: Okay, so but but you didn't do anything and there's just this possibility of a silent approach.
  • [00:31:21] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:31:22] Mike: Was the screen facing the stairs or the person facing the stairs?
  • [00:31:24] Keith: No, fortunately, ah yeah. and The stairs came down to a hallway, and so they would they would have long come down the stairs, and I definitely couldn't hear that. I could sometimes hear ah people coming down the hallway ah usually it would be my father.
  • [00:31:39] Keith: And um yeah, so what I did was I would wear a blanket. And, you know, this isn't great because the blanket, you know, gets slimed over time.
  • [00:31:54] Keith: Now, even back then, just...
  • [00:31:55] Mike: Wait, so you would you were sitting in some kind of an office chair with a computer in front of you, and then you had a blanket.
  • [00:31:59] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
  • [00:32:01] Mike: Were you wearing any clothes?
  • [00:32:04] Keith: Well, yeah, I mean, you're getting into some of the logistical difficulties here. Yeah, so I would pull my my pants down, but not past my knees because there would be the possibility that I would need to pull them up.
  • [00:32:08] Mike: OK.
  • [00:32:17] Keith: ah You know, in most, I could risk it. and And, you know, like, let's say my dad comes down and he says, hey, dinner's ready. I could say like, oh, I'll be up in a minute, right? And then hope he leaves.
  • [00:32:28] Keith: But if he doesn't, What am I supposed to say? Like, hey, can you please leave? I need to, but like there's just no plausible reason for me to ask him to leave. And so I needed to sort of be in a position where I could quickly recompose myself.
  • [00:32:43] Mike: And you the blanket makes it so you can do this with him not seeing the process of you pulling pants up.
  • [00:32:47] Keith: Yeah. If I kept it, you know, no lower than knee level.
  • [00:32:51] Mike: OK, so you had like this very specific posture you had to adopt. What what was the blanket made of?
  • [00:32:59] Keith: Yeah. I mean,
  • [00:33:03] Keith: it sucks. All right. It was like a fleece blanket. And, um you know, just as a reminder for some of our newer listeners, I have a quite tight circumcision.
  • [00:33:08] Mike: OK.
  • [00:33:13] Keith: So when I masturbate, I sometimes she use my hand. I can use my hand and lotion, but I will usually use some sort of sleeve, um like maybe a pair of boxers or, you know, one of those, you know, t-shirts people use for running that has that
  • [00:33:17] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:33:31] Keith: fiber, that you know that that quick, that wicking material.
  • [00:33:34] Mike: yeah
  • [00:33:34] Keith: And so I could position it in such a way that it would catch most of the semen. And um
  • [00:33:41] Mike: Wait, wait, wait, you skipped a step here. So the fleece blanket you would plan, your plan was to catch the semen in the fleece blanket.
  • [00:33:48] Keith: no, the plan was to catch the semen in whatever sleeve I was using while masturbating.
  • [00:33:52] Mike: Oh, okay. So, and so just so we have the right picture, you were in the basement of your parents' house, a carpeted floor. There's a computer in front of you. You're sitting in some kind of an office chair.
  • [00:34:02] Keith: Uh-huh.
  • [00:34:02] Mike: You have your pants down to your knees, a blanket, a fleece blanket over you and some kind of like a,
  • [00:34:05] Keith: Ish.
  • [00:34:10] Mike: like kind of a running shirt material thing that you've got in your hand to masturbate with.
  • [00:34:14] Keith: You got it, Mike. I think we've painted a beautiful picture here.
  • [00:34:16] Mike: This is, i mean, this is a really complicated, this is a really complicated situation to be in. And if you were discovered quickly, there's just, you have like, there's like eight moving parts here. Like there's just no way you can put the toothpaste back in the tube quickly enough, right?
  • [00:34:30] Mike: This is a, this really like, this must, this is like, honestly, this probably raised your effective IQ a few points having to deal with this.
  • [00:34:31] Keith: So...
  • [00:34:38] Mike: You know what i mean? Like this is a real puzzle.
  • [00:34:40] Keith: Yeah, at such a young age, having to do such complex problem solving.
  • [00:34:42] Mike: Maybe this maybe this is why maybe this is why Jews started circumcising boys.
  • [00:34:43] Keith: Yeah, this explains my SAT score.
  • [00:34:48] Mike: They realized that it increased their IQ. They're like, look.
  • [00:34:52] Keith: It makes masturbation like a a little bit trickier, and so it it naturally selects for, yeah.
  • [00:34:56] Mike: ah in this In this case, it's lot trickier. I mean, like, anyway, okay. so All right. So I take it something, there was an incident.
  • [00:35:03] Keith: Yeah, well, you know look, I don't remember an incident, but when I think back on this, just as I think back on the sleeping bag setup, I don't remember an incident with that either.
  • [00:35:09] Mike: Oh.
  • [00:35:12] Mike: Oh.
  • [00:35:15] Keith: And if our listeners are interested in sleeping bag stuff, they could go back to four former episodes. But ah for sure, my parents must have known, right? like you know When your kid is a teenager...
  • [00:35:28] Keith: you should know that they are likely masturbating. And if you have never caught them, then you've you've probably come close.
  • [00:35:30] Mike: Yes.
  • [00:35:34] Keith: But yeah, my dad probably knew and was just just playing it cool. It would have been nice if he would have said, Or if he would have, you know, actually, maybe he didn't know. Because if he did, he could have just knocked on the hallway every time before he came down.
  • [00:35:51] Keith: You know, just give me a little warning.
  • [00:35:52] Mike: Right.
  • [00:35:53] Keith: And, you know, i think a polite man would do that.
  • [00:35:54] Mike: but
  • [00:35:55] Keith: And my dad wasn't trying to catch me. It's not like, ah you know, I had a conservative upbringing or anything. So maybe he didn't know.
  • [00:36:00] Mike: What types – well, you he he would – I mean my thought on this is he knew in general that masturbation was happening. He just didn't know exactly where and how and when. What – how sticky of a situation, so to speak, did you get in here?
  • [00:36:13] Mike: Like did you have to undo this rather complicated Rube Goldberg machine like in under five seconds sometimes?
  • [00:36:18] Keith: Trapeze. ah yeah there Yeah. So occasionally um i could hear him come down the stairs or I would hear the door open and I would, yeah, then I would quickly, you know, pull my pants up and, you know, switch windows or whatever. i don't even know if it was windows back then, right? We're still in the DOS days.
  • [00:36:41] Mike: Right. You were you were ah consuming porn on an MS-DOS computer?
  • [00:36:48] Keith: So, yeah, we had a we had a modem, and I i was definitely using BBSs, and can't remember if that was pre-Windows 3.0 or not.
  • [00:36:49] Mike: Wow. That's dedication.
  • [00:36:58] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:36:58] Keith: can't remember.
  • [00:36:59] Mike: And it would have just been pictures.
  • [00:37:01] Keith: I do remember opening pictures. Yeah, definitely no movies. I do remember opening pictures in so... dass
  • [00:37:10] Mike: What was your methodology for avoiding other users?
  • [00:37:10] Keith: so
  • [00:37:14] Mike: i assume it was a family computer. So what was your methodology for avoiding some other user the computer stumbling across your pornographic exploits? I assume you wanted to keep the pictures too, because like, let's say each picture took five minutes to download or something you didn't, or whatever.
  • [00:37:26] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:37:27] Mike: You didn't, you so what how would you hide them?
  • [00:37:27] Keith: Yep.
  • [00:37:30] Keith: I created ah a password-protected directory, which is what they were called back then.
  • [00:37:35] Mike: Password protected directory. Okay.
  • [00:37:37] Keith: Yeah. Which I think you could do in DOS, and if you couldn't, I downloaded something that did it for you.
  • [00:37:38] Mike: Yes.
  • [00:37:41] Keith: It would like encrypt and decrypt or something.
  • [00:37:41] Mike: what did what did what was What did you call said directory?
  • [00:37:47] Keith: So my sisters were too young. They weren't a threat. And my mom never used that computer. She had her own work computer.
  • [00:37:53] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:37:54] Keith: ah So the only potential person would be my father. And he, at that time, he later went on to get a degree in computer science. But at that time, he was not savvy enough to be, to notice it's suspicious.
  • [00:38:06] Mike: So you just called it porn?
  • [00:38:08] Keith: Yeah, I mean, i I definitely didn't call it Keith's porn directory. But, you know, I could call it whatever and there would be no risk.
  • [00:38:13] Mike: You don't remember what you called it. Okay.
  • [00:38:14] Keith: Yeah, I don't.
  • [00:38:15] Mike: I remember I had a friend in high school who he had a directory on his computer that he called, in and I specifically remember this. It was TempDisk. TempDisk. He was just, it's this thing that i where as a as you're trying to come up with the least interesting.
  • [00:38:28] Mike: So a name that's not interesting, but also just, well yeah, not intriguing in any way.
  • [00:38:28] Keith: Right.
  • [00:38:31] Keith: Yep.
  • [00:38:34] Mike: And so I thought that was kind of a clever name.
  • [00:38:35] Keith: i have I have since done this, and I have a folder.
  • [00:38:36] Mike: i was like, huh.
  • [00:38:39] Keith: have several folders on my computer that are named with such ah clever protocols, but i just can't reveal it on the podcast, Mike. It took me a long time to come up with these good names, and I don't want them to be compromised by...
  • [00:38:51] Mike: Sure, sure. I think for the most part, people this is not a concern anymore. People simply use streaming porn, which avoids the need to download porn to their computer.
  • [00:38:59] Keith: Yeah, think I don't think I have any porn on my computer.
  • [00:39:06] Mike: did By the way, so I was alerted within the last week to the fact that you can actually buy Pornhub jackets, sweatshirts,
  • [00:39:16] Keith: Memorapelia.
  • [00:39:17] Mike: Like what, what is, what is the, so I was thinking about, I mean, i I kind of want one, but then I was thinking, what is the use case for this thing? Like when, when when would you, i mean, like.
  • [00:39:26] Keith: id Look, ah Mike, I don't know. i but There's an analogy here, though. I've recently been re-watching the entirety of Sex and the City. Not re-watching, watching for the first time.
  • [00:39:36] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:39:36] Keith: And just because I wanted to understand its cultural import. And much like Friends and Seinfeld now, it's like making a comeback.
  • [00:39:40] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:39:46] Keith: like I don't know who decides which of these shows make comebacks, right? There's there's Friends and Sex and the City, but not
  • [00:39:53] Mike: The office.
  • [00:39:54] Keith: family Yeah, The Office is a big one, but not, say, Family Ties, right?
  • [00:39:55] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:39:59] Keith: Or Alf.
  • [00:39:59] Mike: I think those are too old. Those are too old.
  • [00:40:01] Keith: Yeah, maybe.
  • [00:40:01] Mike: Those are pre. Yeah, it's there's some there's some moment that you have to be passed culturally for things to be relevant. I mean, yeah there are people that sit around watching Cheers and MASH, I'm sure, like older shows.
  • [00:40:11] Keith: Yeah. Right.
  • [00:40:12] Mike: OK, so what what what did you find in Sex and the City?
  • [00:40:13] Keith: Okay, so when sex in Sex and the City, ah there are multiple episodes where Carrie wears...
  • [00:40:20] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:40:20] Keith: um like a necklace that has the Playboy logo on it. And I think there's an episode where Samantha does the same, or wears a shirt that has the Playboy logo on it. So, you know, like in, in the nineties and into the, and into the aughts, the Playboy logo was sort of a popular thing for some women to virtue signal.
  • [00:40:41] Keith: And I don't know what that was about, but this just seems like a more modern sort of take on that. It's like, Oh, I'm cool and hip. Um, I mean, people could do it ironically and humorously, of course, but that's not what Carrie Bradshaw was doing, right?
  • [00:40:50] Mike: I have never. Right.
  • [00:40:57] Keith: Like the Sarah Jessica Parker character was like a tastemaker in terms of you know what was cool for you know East Coast elite women to Yeah.
  • [00:41:07] Mike: So my I thought about this because i I do like a good caper in terms of like wearing something crazy like that.
  • [00:41:07] Keith: to wear
  • [00:41:14] Mike: I mean, I i have a Make America Great Again hat just for this purpose. Because it's so infuriating and and crazy to people if I i wear it. um But with the Pornhub thing, the problem is that there's this sexual sex sex trafficking argument that I don't want to run up against.
  • [00:41:23] Keith: I see.
  • [00:41:31] Mike: People like to argue that...
  • [00:41:32] Keith: um
  • [00:41:35] Mike: some percentage of the of the stuff on porn sites is somehow exploitative, somebody who doesn't want to be doing it and so forth, which is probably right. I don't even really have a a defense to that argument.
  • [00:41:45] Mike: And I really don't want to run up against that. Like it's it's one thing to go, ah, ha, ha, you're wearing a porn site thing.
  • [00:41:50] Keith: i see
  • [00:41:50] Mike: But I feel like, and and actually like some of my reluctance to talk about something like Pornhub would be would be that as well.
  • [00:41:56] Keith: Yeah, fine. But it's not like Hugh Hefner was a choir boy, right? I'm sure there was tons of sexual harassment going on inside the Playboy Mansion.
  • [00:42:01] Mike: I think there's, yeah.
  • [00:42:07] Mike: Presumably, but there's more.
  • [00:42:07] Keith: Sexual harassment might be just the start of it.
  • [00:42:10] Mike: yeah there's more sensitivity now to it or something. I don't know.
  • [00:42:12] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:42:14] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:42:14] Keith: Yeah. All right.
  • [00:42:15] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:42:15] Keith: um This person says, my boyfriend wants me to get rid of a toy collection. I'll cut to the chase. I have a big collection of fantasy toys, like over 100 dildos. few months ago, I started seeing this guy. He's really sweet and I like him a lot, but he doesn't really like that I have so many toys and wants me to get rid of them.
  • [00:42:30] Keith: isn't mean or pushy about it. Just says he thinks it's too many and I should pare it down to a couple. My friends agree that it's really off-putting for a man, especially since many of them are on the bigger side. The dildos.
  • [00:42:41] Keith: I don't really want to get rid of them as it's a very expensive collection, but also I kind of see what they mean and I don't really want to lose a good thing over this. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do here? And then she adds a couple edits for clarification.
  • [00:42:54] Keith: These aren't basic dick-shake dildos like you'd see at a Spencer's or sex shop. They're handmade fantasy toys with all sorts of different things. So it's not like a horde of 100 replaceable identical toys or anything. Boy, referring to Spencer's implies something about her age.
  • [00:43:07] Keith: They're storied away in two lockedbox two locked boxes in a closet. He doesn't have to look at them or anything. He just doesn't like knowing they exist. did try to involve him with them, but stopped when he said he wasn't really interested ah To the people asking if I would in fact be fine with a guy having a toy collection, i actually have penetrable toys in my own collection and would love to get more if a partner was into them.
  • [00:43:22] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:43:28] Keith: All right. they The thing that... It is fine, but weird to have a collection, ah you know, to collect stamps, ah you know, have like things in a display case that ah you like. Pokemon cards, baseball cards, whatever. Like that's that's fine.
  • [00:43:47] Keith: It sounds like she's still using these dildos, which is where I think it becomes a little bit more gray for me at least.
  • [00:43:57] Mike: Why? Because if you're in relationship with a woman, you expect her to cease all dildo usage. All dildonics.
  • [00:44:03] Keith: Okay, there is a big gap between ceasing all dildonics and whatever this person's doing, which is, I don't really know.
  • [00:44:10] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:44:12] Keith: She doesn't really clarify. I like that she added four clarifying edits, but none of them really say, like, why do you need such a variety of dildos?
  • [00:44:20] Mike: I don't I don't understand this. I don't understand this male thing. Like, and I know it's common to to kind of get worried about, look, from my perspective as a guy, shouldn't you basically just want, like, if your partner, if your female partner,
  • [00:44:37] Mike: there's a sexual thing that they that they are interested in. Shouldn't always be pretty much pretty much within reason? Yes. Like, it's like, oh, you want... It's like, she's like, I want to... I have this sex thing I want to do and you're like, yes.
  • [00:44:49] Mike: I mean, okay, now, if it could that could end with, I want to do an MMF threesome.
  • [00:44:49] Keith: I
  • [00:44:53] Mike: I want to have... I want to fuck... I want to do a gangbang. Like, yeah yes, it could end badly or with something that you're less comfortable with. but
  • [00:44:58] Keith: yeah
  • [00:44:59] Mike: But this is the kind of thing where it's like, yeah, I mean, I don't see the downside of being with a woman that, like, wants... to do more sex stuff. Like, how is that? How, like what?
  • [00:45:09] Mike: I don't understand the downside. It's like, it's, it's not what men want.
  • [00:45:14] Keith: think the concern here is that she's curated such a ah collection and is probably ah cultivating a wild imagination.
  • [00:45:28] Keith: um And I don't think those things would bother me, but I can imagine somebody feeling threatened by that more so than the normal. Like, okay. When a man and says he doesn't like his girlfriend masturbating, that's preposterous, right?
  • [00:45:42] Keith: And when a man says, I don't like that you use, you know, a vibrator, Also preposterous, with a small exception for whatever the death grip analogy is for women.
  • [00:45:52] Mike: Yeah, sure, sure.
  • [00:45:53] Keith: you you You call it white claw. But yeah, if you use you know the strongest vibrator all the time to the point that that's the only way you can get off, that that could be a little bit of a bummer.
  • [00:45:55] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:46:02] Keith: But it might be that they can't get off any other way. Anyway. ah But once you get to the point where you have this like elaborate collection, and it's not just because you're interested as a curator, I think it starts begging a question, which is, what's going on here?
  • [00:46:22] Mike: Well, what, like, what's the worst case scenario?
  • [00:46:22] Keith: And
  • [00:46:24] Mike: I don't understand. I guess I don't understand what the worst case scenario is.
  • [00:46:26] Keith: yeah, I don't know.
  • [00:46:27] Mike: Like,
  • [00:46:28] Keith: Let me pause to think about that for a moment.
  • [00:46:30] Mike: okay, let me, um I'll just riff for one second while you're doing that. I think that part of me thinks that this is downstream of men being confused about how, how women get orgasms.
  • [00:46:33] Keith: Okay. Okay.
  • [00:46:43] Mike: So guys get jealous of, oh, you have a bigger dildo than me. And by the way, i I'd like to bring up something about the dragon, bad dragon dildo.
  • [00:46:46] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
  • [00:46:49] Mike: We can do that in a minute.
  • [00:46:50] Keith: Okay, I'll take a note.
  • [00:46:51] Mike: Um, but, uh, yeah, the, the, yeah which is just stupid. That's actually moronic because that's not, uh, there's something else at play there. If a woman wants a really large dildo or something, she's, there's some kind of psychological thing, but it's not, I guess it's possible the guy can't satisfy her something, but I don't really think that's likely to be the case. But anyway, okay. what'ss What's your thought?
  • [00:47:12] Mike: You've had time to think.
  • [00:47:15] Keith: I think it's something around the
  • [00:47:23] Keith: I think it would be like if I had the male analogy would be, look, I don't care if you masturbate, but if you have like a room in your house dedicated to collecting porn DVDs that you sort of go in and, you know, you have like a seven TV set up and, you know, you have to, you you've got this whole thing going on. Like there's just some extreme beyond which it just becomes a little bit strange.
  • [00:47:48] Mike: this I mean, I agree for a man, but not for a woman.
  • [00:47:48] Keith: And
  • [00:47:50] Mike: That's kind of cool if it's a woman.
  • [00:47:52] Keith: yeah
  • [00:47:52] Mike: It's like, that would be, i like i i but i basically don't think that exists for women.
  • [00:47:53] Keith: but that's That's a fair point.
  • [00:47:57] Mike: I don't think there is such a woman out there, but like, if there were, and she was sort of attractive and stuff, I'd kind of like to meet her.
  • [00:48:04] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:48:05] Mike: It's like like, what's going on here? But okay.
  • [00:48:06] Keith: Yeah, there's such a like connoisseur of ah being an expert in yeah pornography video or something.
  • [00:48:13] Mike: Like, the truth is, I don't, I actually think that doesn't really exist. Like, yeah.
  • [00:48:17] Keith: Yeah, I don't think it does either.
  • [00:48:17] Mike: Okay. Well, this woman is saying that she has this big collection, but I think it's, I think I take her at a word that it's more artistic. It's like, it's like a woman having a collection of vases or something like, Oh, you know, this such and so gave me this one, or I had this one made on Etsy or whatever.
  • [00:48:30] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:48:31] Mike: And it's like, okay.
  • [00:48:31] Keith: Okay. You may be right. I would still want to ask her a couple questions about, you know, sort of what's going on here. Why do you select this one? Sometimes this one, sometimes, why do you feel the need to keep them all like what's going on there?
  • [00:48:42] Keith: And you may be right that almost all the explanations are perfectly fine, but I'm not sure.
  • [00:48:45] Mike: But what's the yeah what's the feared explanation that like she likes getting fucked?
  • [00:48:48] Keith: I'm not sure.
  • [00:48:49] Mike: It's like, good.
  • [00:48:50] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:48:51] Mike: like
  • [00:48:52] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. That would obviously be fine.
  • [00:48:53] Mike: Yeah, I mean, it'd be more than fine. It'd be fantastic.
  • [00:48:57] Keith: yeah Yeah, maybe, ah yeah I guess I'm just being, yeah, i'm having like a conservative reaction here, which is, I know our culture would say it's bad, um but that's not a good reason, you know?
  • [00:48:58] Mike: Okay, so...
  • [00:49:08] Mike: That's probably right.
  • [00:49:09] Keith: So, so like what, so yeah, I'm not sure what I'm reacting to exactly.
  • [00:49:09] Mike: I mean, although... although
  • [00:49:13] Mike: Although culture looks way more down on male sex toys than female sex toys generally. So that's, so it wouldn't.
  • [00:49:18] Keith: Well, fortunately she has a small collection of those.
  • [00:49:18] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:49:20] Keith: It sounds like.
  • [00:49:21] Mike: So I want to bring up the, the the bad dragon dildo. So i became aware recently.
  • [00:49:24] Keith: OK, good. i I could close this window, bad dragon dildo. Good. Go ahead.
  • [00:49:28] Mike: I became aware recently that there is some kind of like a female romance novel series. And we all know that romance novels are women's porn in most cases about dragons.
  • [00:49:37] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
  • [00:49:39] Mike: So like, are you familiar with this? There's like some kind of like a movie and or book series that's kind of like sexual that's got dragons in it and women.
  • [00:49:48] Keith: Where the drawing dragons are doing the sex halving?
  • [00:49:51] Mike: Yeah, there's some sex going on. And I wanted to know.
  • [00:49:54] Keith: Yes.
  • [00:49:54] Mike: OK, so you're not aware of this at all. OK, I'm I've been.
  • [00:49:56] Keith: No.
  • [00:49:58] Mike: I need to look this up because I have a strong suspicion that this is why the bad dragon dildo, you know what the bad dragon dildo is. it it's It's like a dragon's penis and it's gigantic. And I think that there's some sort of like connection between this and these romance novels slash films or whatever it is.
  • [00:50:07] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:50:14] Mike: And i'm I'm kind of curious about it because I think that, oh, here's why I'm curious about it. It's the same reason that I'm curious about. So on the chick flicks subreddit,
  • [00:50:25] Mike: I have noticed, 100% noticed this because i've watch I've watched that subreddit for many years. When the Great Awakening happened in 2020, the percentage of, let's call it ethnic minority po porn posted to that subreddit, went up substantially and remains higher than it was.
  • [00:50:42] Mike: Now, that's fine. More power to people. It's great.
  • [00:50:45] Keith: ahha
  • [00:50:46] Mike: But what I think it reveals is that like there's some sort of social...
  • [00:50:49] Keith: yeah It's not that more is being produced. that more is being produced
  • [00:50:54] Mike: No, no, it could be that. But my thought is it's it's like women... women's, the way women choose what's arousing to them is much more social than it is for men, right?
  • [00:51:04] Mike: So women are like, oh, and actually I've also seen a substantial uptake in trans, trans porn, which is the same thing.
  • [00:51:05] Keith: Huh.
  • [00:51:10] Mike: It's like when something becomes socially relevant or kind of, there's a story behind it, women kind of eroticize it and make one, are interested in pornography around it. Whereas guys, it's much simpler kind of fixed point, which is just, you know, whatever they find attractive, which is mostly genetic or biological.
  • [00:51:26] Mike: Yeah. So anyway, the bad dragon dildo, I think, is downstream of that. I wonder if sales of ethnic minority dildos have gone up. I bet they have. ah By the same token.
  • [00:51:37] Keith: Hmm, there's one ethnic minority color that has always been quite popular. I'm not sure.
  • [00:51:45] Mike: Which one is that?
  • [00:51:46] Keith: Maybe it's even more so now.
  • [00:51:48] Mike: Which?
  • [00:51:48] Keith: I think black dildos have long been a...
  • [00:51:51] Mike: Well, okay, but there's two kinds of black dildos, right? There would be like a just black, like jet black, which of course doesn't resemble any human. And then there would be one that looks like an African-American or an African. I assume you mean the latter, but I'm not sure.
  • [00:52:04] Keith: Huh, I guess I was thinking the former. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, I'm not sure.
  • [00:52:08] Mike: Yeah, black there I think is probably just... I don't know. It's considered like neutral. I don't think it's really like an ethnic thing would be my guess. A lot of times black guys will have like their, the head of their cock will be like a different color than the shaft, which is kind of interesting. You know, it's like a, it's like a circus.
  • [00:52:29] Keith: I think they just have...
  • [00:52:30] Mike: It's kind of cool. I like it.
  • [00:52:32] Keith: I don't have anything constructive to say about that.
  • [00:52:34] Mike: I like it. I think it's kind of cool looking. It's like, whoa.
  • [00:52:39] Keith: Yeah. All right. Yeah, I don't know. The the bad dragon dildos. Yeah, I hate this website.
  • [00:52:45] Mike: Okay.
  • [00:52:45] Keith: These dildos are so weird.
  • [00:52:47] Mike: Well, they're just really big and they have like lots of little nodules on them and so forth.
  • [00:52:50] Keith: Yeah, what do these nodules do?
  • [00:52:53] Mike: Nothing. They're just, I think it's just psychological stimulation. I don't think generally dildos do that much for women.
  • [00:52:59] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:52:59] Mike: Um,
  • [00:52:59] Keith: And the shape of them. I mean, I know some condoms are like ribbed, but I think even that is mostly to get, um, a little bit of sort of contour and texture on the bottom, the head of the clit as you're sliding in and out.
  • [00:53:17] Mike: i I thought it was to extract the last man's semen.
  • [00:53:17] Keith: Um,
  • [00:53:20] Mike: But what do you, if if you ah if you were on the first time having sex with a lady partner at her house or her apartment, and you discovered that she had one of those sex machines that like the machines that fuck you.
  • [00:53:30] Keith: hu
  • [00:53:36] Keith: Oh, the rabbit?
  • [00:53:36] Mike: Well, no, I don't think that's what it's called. I mean, these are these things that are like kind of floor standing and they have like ah an arm, maybe a, I don't know, like a one horsepower motor. that drill in and out of the woman's vagina. Like you'd be pretty upset about that.
  • [00:53:50] Mike: You'd recoil, you'd recoil if you saw that she had that.
  • [00:53:53] Keith: Oh, wait, what is it?
  • [00:53:53] Mike: She's like, Hey, I got to show you something.
  • [00:53:54] Keith: good Wait, hold on. It's not a rabbit that I'm thinking of. Is it a Symbian?
  • [00:53:59] Mike: A Sibian. Sibian is different. That's the thing you sit on.
  • [00:54:03] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:54:03] Mike: Yeah. These, these are, this is a more like aggressive thing.
  • [00:54:04] Keith: Okay. That's not what you're thinking of.
  • [00:54:06] Mike: This is a more aggressive thing. This is like a, it's called a sex machine. It's basically a penis that actually goes in and out and can fuck somebody. But I'm mostly interested in like your emotional reaction a Sibian, call it a Sibian. Let's say a woman had a Sibian. Would you just be like, would you nope out of the situation?
  • [00:54:22] Keith: I mean, i think I would be generally happy to see it. It means that I'm definitely about to have sex.
  • [00:54:26] Mike: That's right. Okay.
  • [00:54:28] Keith: Like there's just no ambiguity that this person is down.
  • [00:54:31] Mike: Yeah. I mean, there's a point where, I think there's a point where it would imply some kind of promiscuity that's problematic, but just taking it for what it is,
  • [00:54:38] Keith: That's true. Especially if it's like, why is it out on their bedroom floor? Weren't they expecting company?
  • [00:54:44] Mike: Right. That's, yeah, that's concerning. But if it didn't, if if it was otherwise kind of a normal person, normal meaning just like normal numbers of partners, normal kind of values and stuff, I would view it as like, I think an unqualified positive.
  • [00:54:52] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:54:56] Mike: It's like, oh, this is, this is great.
  • [00:54:56] Keith: Yes. They think about sex. They know what they like. They, you know, go get it. like but Those are all good things, I think.
  • [00:55:04] Mike: Yes. Like active participation or whatever. Yeah.
  • [00:55:06] Keith: Yeah. um All right. Let's do one more topic. um
  • [00:55:09] Mike: Yeah.
  • [00:55:10] Keith: This person says, my husband needs a specific kind of sex or he's leaving. ah My husband, who is 27, and I, who am also 27, have been married for almost five years. We have two young children. ah We've been talking over the past few nights about our relationship and sexual needs. Our sex life has been up and down over the past few years due to being pregnant and the limitations after childbirth.
  • [00:55:28] Keith: There's also been some sexual infidelity on his end a few times. I stayed with him because I love our family and a blah, blah, blah, blah. In our talks following his most recent infidelity, he revealed last night that anal sex is a deal breaker for him. And if I'm not willing to do it two times a week with him, he does not want to remain married out of fear he will get to continue get his sexual... Wait.
  • [00:55:50] Keith: Out of fear, he will he will get continued to get his sexual needs filled elsewhere.
  • [00:55:50] Mike: it just won't work for him.
  • [00:55:55] Keith: I think she's saying he'll feel tempted to still cheat. I do not like anal. It is painful at worst and uncomfortable at best, but never pleasurable. It kills my entire mood if we are having vaginal sex and he wants to transition to anal.
  • [00:56:06] Keith: I'm being unreasonable for not wanting to agree to anal two times per week. I'm We have vaginal or oral sex three times a week. I feel like it's selfish of him to break up our family and the life we've known the past five years over something like this.
  • [00:56:18] Keith: It's not like we don't have sex. He just wants more than I'm comfortable giving him, and he feels it's worth losing his family over. I'm at a loss. Please give me and new perspectives or any advice you have.
  • [00:56:29] Keith: Well, what do you think, Mike?
  • [00:56:31] Mike: Is there some way to turn this around and make it so there's like a female need that's a little bit unusual, but the guy would be completely culturally expected to do it? I'm trying to think if there's some some good like...
  • [00:56:41] Keith: How about she wants to penetrate him anally with a dildo?
  • [00:56:45] Mike: Yeah, the thing about sure.
  • [00:56:45] Keith: Let's just make it literally the same thing.
  • [00:56:47] Mike: No, the issue with that is that that's more uncommon, right? Because it's... it's This is... Okay, fine. Let's say yes. Let's say she wants to peg him.
  • [00:56:55] Keith: I agree. Look, it is far more culturally uncommon. Do you think that the objective physical experience...
  • [00:56:59] Mike: Yes.
  • [00:57:02] Keith: I think that it's tricky because I think a lot of this is the emotional experience. And I think the objective emotional experience might be worse for a man because he's being submissive in a way that they often aren't. But I bet the the objective physical experience is approximately the same.
  • [00:57:17] Mike: I think that, ah okay, if I had to have something fucking my ass, just like as a ah life form, if I had to do that, I think i think yeah i think it would be more compelling.
  • [00:57:29] Keith: Twice a week.
  • [00:57:34] Mike: Look, look see okay, and we can stipulate that I'm attracted to the person i'm having sex with, right? It's more compelling This sounds really gay, but it's more compelling if it's with their genitals than with a piece of rubber.
  • [00:57:49] Mike: Right. So being pegged, like part of it, it's just stupid. Like it's just, okay, I know there are people that get into pegging and they're going to tell me there's prostate simulation, all this stuff. But like, okay, if you take that out, ah the woman's not getting any pleasure of it out of it. And the guy kind of isn't either.
  • [00:58:02] Mike: it's just kind of a no-op. It's like, why are you even doing this?
  • [00:58:05] Keith: she's She's getting the pleasure of knowing you're suffering.
  • [00:58:08] Mike: Like, how about this? Let's say get rid of pegging and say instead, this is actually decent. The woman wants to you to deep throat her dildo strap on dildo. And she wants to fuck your throat with it twice a week.
  • [00:58:20] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:58:21] Mike: Like, so there we can't even plausibly argue there's any pleasure for anyone. This is just this is just like something you're being subjected to.
  • [00:58:26] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:58:30] Mike: And I think that.
  • [00:58:30] Keith: Yeah.
  • [00:58:31] Mike: Yeah. Yeah, like all things being equal, life forms being life forms, it would be more compelling to have somebody fuck you with their penis than with a rubber dildo. Just because if you're attracted to the person, at least like there's some exchange of something going on, right?
  • [00:58:46] Keith: Sure. Yeah.
  • [00:58:47] Mike: know So at least with the anal so receptive anal sex, the woman could think to herself, well, I'm pleasuring him. He's getting off. This is hot, right? This this this person I like is enjoying himself. Yeah.
  • [00:58:59] Mike: um But I understand that like she does. Yeah. If it's like she really doesn't like it. And it also makes you wonder like what what's going on for the guy that that's his deal breaker because.
  • [00:59:10] Keith: Yeah, I mean, who knows? For starters, he may be just constructing an impossible-to-pass test for her. like He might know that she's going to nope out, so he doesn't want to like actually end it.
  • [00:59:22] Keith: He's trying to assuage some of his guilt, so he's like created this thing like, oh yeah, like we can stay together if you jump through these 82 hoops that are completely insane.
  • [00:59:26] Mike: yeahp
  • [00:59:31] Mike: it feels It feels like a couples therapy expert mode. Like if you're a couples therapist and they come in with this, it's just like – I mean they're obviously communicating well, right?
  • [00:59:42] Mike: I mean he's able to – this is the thing is I would say in in more than 90% of relationships, this would never get communicated in the first place even if it was a desire because –
  • [00:59:49] Keith: Right, they just break up.
  • [00:59:51] Mike: It's just a really hard communication. Like I have this thing I need. And also the, like the specificity around oral and vaginal sex three, three times a week. Like that's a lot of communication there too. Right. That's that, that's
  • [01:00:01] Keith: Yeah, it could be that they've recently been going through an audit, and so but that's why she has the numbers handy.
  • [01:00:06] Mike: probably the case.
  • [01:00:09] Mike: Right. And I don't even know what – so what would a couples therapist say? It's like, look, you clearly know what you want. You clearly know you don't want to provide it. So this is like the kind of perfect example of a relationship that can't last.
  • [01:00:20] Mike: Like I don't really get why – I would think that a guy who wanted anal sex like that, actually what he wants is just to be dominant.
  • [01:00:21] Keith: Yeah, it's the end.
  • [01:00:28] Mike: So she could come up with – they could come up with other dominant things.
  • [01:00:31] Keith: Yeah, maybe they could see a sex therapist, a specific sex therapist that might have some insight into this. I'm not sure.
  • [01:00:40] Mike: Yeah, I just think that that ah in my world, the impulse behind wanting to how penetrate someone's anus is mostly just dominant. It's not like it's better or anything like that. It's just you want to do something sort of aggressive. and so It's like, okay, well, is there some other thing that she actually might like that is aggressive?
  • [01:00:59] Keith: Yeah, I mean, vaginal sex feels better, so it's strange when...
  • [01:01:07] Keith: Yeah, I don't know. don't know. A big part of me wonders if he's just said this because he wants to break up with her anyway and he wants the blood to be on her hands or on her asshole.
  • [01:01:15] Mike: To really kind of, i mean, yeah, he was he like, you look, you you rejected my very reasonable request.
  • [01:01:24] Keith: My opening salvo in negotiations of anal twice a week.
  • [01:01:27] Mike: Yeah, would I mean, would he want it if she had like diarrhea?
  • [01:01:31] Keith: i don't know i don't i don't really know how regular anal sex works i think you know in my experience it was like a yeah my partner had to like sort of prepare or she didn't have to but she did and i don't think it would be a convenient thing to do all the time so i don't know what people who do it all the time maybe there's just more poop
  • [01:01:31] Mike: Like some sort of bowel issue?
  • [01:01:51] Mike: yeah
  • [01:01:55] Mike: I think it's challenging and I think even gay men who have it as a primary thing maybe don't do it all the time typically because it's challenging. Yeah.
  • [01:02:06] Keith: Yeah, I would call it disgusting, but yeah, whatever word choice you like. ah Yeah, my my guess would be the more often you're doing it, the more often issues arise, not just because you have a larger sample size, but because each sample has higher risk.
  • [01:02:22] Mike: I don't know. It could get sort of grooved in like your anus could get, get sort of uh, your partner's size penis groove kind of worn into your anus.
  • [01:02:31] Keith: Yeah, I don't know.
  • [01:02:31] Mike: That's easier.
  • [01:02:31] Keith: like i get into... When I travel, my pooping schedule changes. And you know some of that is travel constipation. But yeah, i am it like you know when I'm in steady state, I always poop around the same time.
  • [01:02:47] Keith: And when I'm not, yeah, so maybe you could get into some sort of situation where ah you know always around 7 p.m. you're ready to go. I don't know. I'm not sure.
  • [01:02:56] Mike: Right. Yeah, it seems possible.
  • [01:02:59] Keith: Anyway, all right. On that disgusting note, that will do it for this episode of Your Mileage May Vary. You can send us feedback or questions to ymmvpod at gmail.com. That's ymmvpod at gmail.com. ah You're also welcome to leave us Apple reviews, as some of ah you have discovered.
  • [01:03:15] Keith: And ah even if you leave us a bad one, we pay $10 for any and all feedback received. So just let us know what payment platform you prefer. And you could be $10 richer today. So again, yeah, just email us at ymmvpod at gmail.com.
  • [01:03:25] Keith: Thanks for listening. And we'll catch you next week on Your Mileage May Vary.