Your Mileage May Vary: Elon’s Latest Heir, Strategic Bad Blows, Prison Pearls, Obligation Sex, Oral Ruining Friendship

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00:01] Keith: Hello, and welcome to Your Mileage May Vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is often controversial, but mostly in good faith. I'm Keith. My co-host is Mike. Hello, Mike.
[00:00:10] Mike: Hello, Keith. You saw my milestone on the subreddit ah r slash curated amateur porn that I sent you. We had 50,000, whatever you call them, subscribers or followers.
[00:00:16] Keith: Yeah.
[00:00:21] Keith: Followers, whatever the Reddit thing is, yeah.
[00:00:23] Mike: I want to just so people realize, like, I'm the only person who posts on that thing. I am so good at picking porn that now they're 50,000 dudes. And like, I get a fair amount of upvotes on every porn I post on that thing. So I'm pretty good at it.
[00:00:36] Keith: I saw a thing on TikTok or Instagram Reels or something recently where an OnlyFans model was speculating about how many men had jerked off to her.
[00:00:48] Mike: in a lot. Yeah.
[00:00:49] Keith: Yeah. I mean, it's... um you know Definitely tens of thousands and you know maybe hundreds or or millions, depending on like you know how many people have jerked off to, I don't know, Sidney Sweeney, right? like it's It's tens of millions, hundreds of millions.
[00:01:08] Mike: i wonder it's actually interesting It would be interesting to know whether it's higher for Sidney Sweeney or say, and I don't remember her name, but there's a very famous porn actress who has like a clip where she is fucking a guy in the Amazon position and then right as he's about to come, she jumps off and deep throats him and he comes down her throat.
[00:01:24] Keith: Yeah.
[00:01:25] Mike: you know um you You probably even know the video I'm talking about.
[00:01:27] Keith: i've you've We've talked about it but back in the stone ages of this podcast when we used to do porn reviews.
[00:01:34] Mike: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:01:34] Keith: ah That was a clip we admired.
[00:01:37] Mike: Yeah, I forget her name, but but she but I wonder whether it's more so it's like is porn more important or are, you know, kind of mainstream normal act, you know, actresses more important to the beat off habits of young men.
[00:01:47] Mike: I actually don't know.
[00:01:48] Keith: Yeah.
[00:01:48] Mike: I suspect it's porn.
[00:01:48] Keith: Yeah.
[00:01:50] Mike: I suspect that Sidney Sweeney actually is not that relevant.
[00:01:53] Keith: Okay. um Well, I don't know about that relevant. I mean, I would be shocked if it's not eight figures, which is tens of millions, and it might be hundreds of millions. It could be.
[00:02:04] Mike: Yeah. Maybe there's a big tie at the top here because there's like a set of women basically who every man is jerked off to.
[00:02:09] Keith: Yeah, that's right.
[00:02:10] Mike: it's like ah It's like getting to the, what do they call that? The final screen of Donkey Kong or Pac-Man. You know, there was like a screen where like the final, the 255th level, like it's just like the screen's all mangled because the computer, right.
[00:02:17] Keith: Right.
[00:02:22] Keith: Right, it glitches out because it has like an integer overflow or something.
[00:02:25] Mike: Yeah. And there's like just three three pellets you have to collect from some weird spot. Well, that's, yeah, that's where Sidney Sweeney and this chick from the porn and a bunch of other people are.
[00:02:33] Keith: Right.
[00:02:33] Mike: yeah
[00:02:33] Keith: So, look, I don't think you're on that tier yet, Mike. But, I mean, I think you're tier two, you know which is you know nothing to sneeze at.
[00:02:38] Mike: Oh, no, not at all.
[00:02:41] Mike: Maybe. Yeah. Well, there's going to be a lot of people that use the subreddit without subscribing to it. I know because, you know, net maybe you don't want to subscribe to a subreddit because then it shows up in your feed and maybe somebody you don't want to see will see but you how often you visit that one.
[00:02:47] Keith: Hmm.
[00:02:53] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:02:55] Mike: um So there's probably a lot of looky-loos. But, yeah, I mean, it's it's nice to be helping generate so much semen in the world. Yeah.
[00:03:04] Keith: Right. Oh, that reminds me, uh, we talked about hiring a social media expert.
[00:03:12] Mike: Yes.
[00:03:13] Keith: Uh, do you want to say, so should should we speculate about that a bit or what, or do you want to talk about that next time? Or what do you want to do
[00:03:20] Mike: Now, we can talk about that. I mean, yeah, I mean, we if if if we if there were a person who listens to this who thought they would meet the credentials of actually knowing how to, you know, take a podcast with social to the next level, like we'd be interested.
[00:03:35] Mike: The problem is That if you do, if you go out and look for people that have this skill set, you basically always get a man or woman in Bangladesh who will just and we haven't fallen for this to be clear, but it's obvious this is how it works.
[00:03:48] Mike: They will basically just create a bunch of fake downloads on your podcast, which are easy enough to get.
[00:03:51] Keith: Right. Right.
[00:03:51] Mike: I mean, actually, I could do that. I have the tools.
[00:03:54] Keith: right
[00:03:54] Mike: um but But this is like actually somebody who actually knows how to target audiences and do something real, which is probably ah an American person who has some credentials or background.
[00:04:07] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I think somebody who's worked for a major podcast organization would be ideal here. um
[00:04:16] Mike: Right.
[00:04:16] Keith: And we will compensate more than fairly if you do good work. So...
[00:04:23] Mike: It's true. We could compensate you in porn credits. Porn. You could post occasionally to curated amateur porn. If you posted like that's true, I could post my own cock on there and a lot of people would see it.
[00:04:34] Mike: I don't want that, though. But anyway, this person. Yeah, we're we're talking actually, I think, cash liquidity here.
[00:04:40] Keith: Yes.
[00:04:41] Mike: Yeah.
[00:04:41] Keith: um Yeah, well into the three figures per hour. So yeah, I think we would have to do that.
[00:04:46] Mike: Per hour. Whoa.
[00:04:50] Mike: Possibly. um
[00:04:51] Keith: If they're good, it's worth way more than that.
[00:04:52] Mike: It's effective. Right.
[00:04:54] Keith: And so, um yeah, I mean, I think the the strategy would be to you know have have them do a trial run for 10 or 15 hours of work and see what they do.
[00:04:54] Mike: Yes.
[00:05:05] Keith: And if they're good, then we'll continue engaging. And if they're not, we will fire them. So, yeah, if you're interested, ah our email address is ymmvpod at gmail.com.
[00:05:17] Keith: And if you like, you can do it anonymously. We'd have to know who you are, of course. But, you know, we can do what we can to, you know, keep you anonymous. um Anyway, yeah, sorry. I forgot to mention that at the top.
[00:05:31] Keith: um
[00:05:33] Keith: I wanted to talk about this Elon Musk thing.
[00:05:37] Mike: Yes.
[00:05:38] Keith: So he...
[00:05:42] Keith: last week, I guess it was. And I don't know exactly how it started, but um he has a new baby mama named Ashley St. Clair.
[00:05:55] Mike: yes
[00:05:55] Keith: And I think she's ah she's some sort of social media ah quote unquote influencer, but did she do, yeah did she get,
[00:06:11] Keith: ah Yeah, I don't know. i did did she Did she do porn or something? Like, how how is she famous?
[00:06:16] Mike: i'm I'm not actually familiar with ah with the provenance of her meeting Elon Musk. I mean, she obviously meets the... there This ah article that I have from the Daily Mail here has kind of a picture of the various women who have mothered, fostered, created, produced the babies by this man.
[00:06:34] Keith: Yeah.
[00:06:34] Mike: And she fits kind of the typical looks in that she's a thin, young, white woman.
[00:06:40] Keith: Yeah.
[00:06:41] Mike: ah So that seems to be the direction he goes.
[00:06:43] Keith: and o
[00:06:45] Mike: And I think, I mean, my guess is that they don't, they have kind of a family tree of Elon Musk here. And i my guess is they don't, um they're not, it's not complete, is my guess, is there's some others.
[00:06:55] Mike: um But they also have a set of text messages where he was basically trying to hide it ah hide her a fecundity from the world during the election so they that he wouldn't have to explain himself and also you know there wouldn't be any risk to her from some kind of violent mob or something but the thing yeah the thing I think is interesting about this is there's a ah this there's is the fact that women kind of come out of the woodwork to do this so I think there's you know there's a there's a set of male ahead yeah
[00:07:14] Keith: Uh-huh.
[00:07:27] Keith: Well, hold on. Hold on We should discuss who she is and whats what's what's alleged here. So she claims to have a child by him.
[00:07:32] Mike: all right.
[00:07:37] Mike: Yes.
[00:07:37] Keith: And I think she is currently suing him for some kind of money. She's definitely suing him. A part of the lawsuit is a paternity test. But as part of the deposition, a bunch of text messages are revealed.
[00:07:47] Mike: Right.
[00:07:52] Keith: Yeah. from musk where she sent him a picture of her holding the the baby and he replied all well question mark and then um she responded he is perfect and then he responded i look forward to seeing you and him this weekend which strongly implies that he is indeed the father ah not terribly interested in the child but you know i don't think she's lying that that he's the the actual dad or i think it's likely she's not lying
[00:08:21] Mike: Right. Well, I'm sure there's just some sort of financial arrangement has that has to be worked out, right?
[00:08:28] Mike: So.
[00:08:28] Keith: i mean Is baby trapping a billionaire the sort of most distilled and purest form of prostitution?
[00:08:35] Mike: Well, that's see, this is where I wanted to get to with this is that there. Yeah, there's a set of there's a set of male behaviors that are considered sort of antisocial um people like. Well, they're considered antisocial people like Bill Cosby. I think nobody's going argue with that.
[00:08:51] Mike: ah What's the the most recent one is P. Diddy with these sort of hyper sexualized male behaviors. But I think there's an equivalent.
[00:08:59] Keith: Maybe Epstein, ah Jeffrey Epstein.
[00:09:01] Mike: Yeah. Who's that? Sure. Jeffrey Epstein is a great example. I think there's like ah a mirror image version of this. That's the female version of sort of toxic, insane behaviors. And I think this might qualify under that. Basically, chasing a woman.
[00:09:16] Mike: She's these women are this particular woman, I think, is basically throwing away all of like the typical female behaviors. or typical like what you would think culturally a woman should be like, and instead kind of just trying to get pre get impregnated by a well-known celebrity.
[00:09:36] Mike: Maybe for money, but maybe just for status or something else. And I think it's interesting that I think everybody reading about this thinks this, I think, but there's no real discussion of this being some sort of
[00:09:39] Keith: Mm-hmm.
[00:09:50] Mike: female behavior taken to extreme Allah bill Cosby. what do you think about that?
[00:09:57] Keith: I don't know whether I'm sort of impressed by her maneuvering here because i think it's fine if women entrap billionaires or if it's because my distaste for Elon Musk is sort of coloring my ability to
[00:10:04] Mike: Okay.
[00:10:18] Keith: ah evaluate this properly i'm not sure but i'm definitely feeling a visceral almost uh yeah i i'm i'm sort of pleased that she's uh been able to pull this off
[00:10:32] Mike: OK, well, in in the male misbehavior scenarios, there's typically two parties, the mis misbehaving male and the woman. In this case, there are three parties. And I think the child can be rightly described as a victim.
[00:10:44] Mike: The child is being victimized by this situation. And so in much the same way, like being impressed, it's it's a little bit like being impressed by Bill Cosby.
[00:10:46] Keith: Well, it's tricky.
[00:10:51] Mike: It's like that is kind of impressive that he was able to like slip these drugs and people's drinks and fuck them. But like there is a victim here, right?
[00:10:56] Keith: Yeah.
[00:10:57] Mike: There's this child that she basically purposely is raising.
[00:10:58] Keith: Right.
[00:11:01] Mike: She's like, there's no chance this guy can be ah father in a normal traditional sense or even in a non-traditional sense.
[00:11:05] Keith: Yes. Yeah.
[00:11:10] Keith: That's true. But the amount of money at stake here may... uh, have more value than the negative impact on that child.
[00:11:21] Mike: Do you think that what percentage of women, if they were being honest, do you think would say that it's better to get knocked up by a billionaire and get some money off of him than just to have like a husband that can be there to raise the kid? Do really think a material number of women would be like, oh, this is a great solution?
[00:11:38] Keith: ah I think most women would not think this is a great solution, but that doesn't necessarily mean it isn't. right so like I don't know how much money she can expect to to wheedle out of him here,
[00:11:52] Mike: and
[00:11:53] Keith: um
[00:11:54] Mike: It might be a good solution for her.
[00:11:56] Keith: but let's say it's $10 million. dollars
[00:11:58] Mike: Okay.
[00:11:58] Keith: Let's say it's $100 million. dollars If it's $100 million, then I don't care ah the impact on the child. $100 million dollars could save so many lives around the world or could like do so many things to make this child's life better that like i that that that like just trumps any consideration for that child.
[00:12:07] Mike: Oh, Lord.
[00:12:14] Keith: If it's $10 million, I think what I just said is still the case. If it's $1 million or less, then I think you start getting into a place where the impact on the child has to be considered more.
[00:12:22] Mike: do you Do you think that it's... So do you think it's worth it if ah one of Bill Cosby's victims was given $100 million? bucks She should be okay with the rape for that money? like In other words, like does the money the money cleans up the victimization?
[00:12:39] Keith: um
[00:12:40] Mike: I know you want to say yes.
[00:12:41] Keith: ah Yeah, I do want to say yes. I would be happy to be raped for $100 million. Yeah.
[00:12:45] Mike: Okay. Okay.
[00:12:46] Keith: yeah
[00:12:47] Mike: I think most people don't see it that way.
[00:12:47] Keith: ah No, I agree. But i I think that's irrational.
[00:12:50] Mike: Yeah.
[00:12:51] Keith: I think if you can save, and I don't care what discount factor you use on money for how many lives you can save with it, $100 million is going to be able to save $100 million. at least hundreds of lives and probably thousands.
[00:13:05] Keith: And if you are such a delicate flower that you can't have a little bit of emotional trauma to save that many people, you're you're kind of an asshole. And it's not it's not that I'm minimizing you know the trauma.
[00:13:13] Mike: When you say save.
[00:13:18] Keith: It's that i'm I think the value of ah what you can do with that money exceeds that trauma.
[00:13:24] Mike: When you say save a life, I assume you mean like give the person 30 more years of life than they would have had otherwise, because everybody dies, right?
[00:13:29] Keith: yeah I don't want to get back into the effective altruism discussion here, but it
[00:13:34] Mike: I know. just want to make sure I understand what save a life means to you.
[00:13:38] Keith: it doesn't even need to be saving the life. It can be you know doing units of good. The amount of units of good you can do for $100 million dollars
[00:13:43] Mike: OK.
[00:13:46] Mike: Okay, well, I'm I'm so i I think I'm on I'm on stable ground here when I say that I'm skeptical how many of them about how many units of good ah Ms.
[00:13:47] Keith: is is
[00:13:55] Mike: St. Clair is likely to do with whatever money she gets out of the situation. right
[00:13:59] Keith: ah well be that ah she Well, do you have any feeling for how much money you can wheedle out of a billionaire if you baby trap him?
[00:13:59] Mike: but It says it's there's going to It's going to be a lot of.
[00:14:09] Keith: Like, does it matter what state it happened in and all that kind of stuff?
[00:14:11] Mike: Probably.
[00:14:11] Keith: Or is there some sort of...
[00:14:13] Mike: I mean, my guess is that it's a kind of a legal negotiation that'll have to happen. And it's going to be something like the quality of life, the kid. It's going to be all based on the kid, right? Not the woman. So then it's like, what quality of life can the kid expect?
[00:14:24] Keith: ah Yeah.
[00:14:24] Mike: And they might look at how much is spent on the other kids that he has. And I bet it's not actually that much money.
[00:14:28] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:14:30] Mike: It's a lot for a normal person, but I bet you it's certainly less than a million bucks a year. And it's also not going to be a lump sum. It'll be doled out over time, which is a problem for her if Elon Musk, as what some think, goes bankrupt later, given his vast debts.
[00:14:44] Keith: yeah Yeah.
[00:14:47] Mike: We should move on, though.
[00:14:48] Keith: Yeah, we should. Some of the other text messages are pretty amusing.
[00:14:52] Mike: All right.
[00:14:53] Keith: He responded to something she said with, I want to knock you up again.
[00:14:58] Mike: Sure. I mean, most men do.
[00:15:00] Keith: Yeah.
[00:15:02] Mike: But the but ah yeah, I mean, yeah I mean, he's also like perpetrating something here.
[00:15:02] Keith: yeah
[00:15:09] Mike: I just think that I just think it's the I do think the women bear some responsibility that just isn't talked about culturally about this at all. There's just no conversation about like this is a kind of crazy, toxic female behavior, in my opinion, like the men I brought up.
[00:15:18] Keith: Yeah.
[00:15:24] Keith: Yeah.
[00:15:24] Mike: Yeah.
[00:15:25] Keith: I think on average it is. i think when it's Elon Musk, it's tricky for me anyway.
[00:15:31] Mike: because there's so much money that can be obtained.
[00:15:34] Keith: Yeah. I mean, look, the amount of like baby entrapping that that women attempt on an average day in the United States is probably more than care to admit, even if I think about it.
[00:15:44] Mike: OK.
[00:15:45] Keith: And 99.9% of those are really, really, really awful. like Women should not be doing that as a strategy because it's really, really, really punitive on the children. Yeah.
[00:15:54] Mike: Got it.
[00:15:54] Keith: ah So I agree with you there.
[00:15:55] Mike: OK.
[00:15:56] Keith: I just think the special case of Elon Musk, I mean, she can like write a book just based on these interactions with him.
[00:15:56] Mike: That's interesting. so
[00:16:04] Keith: like He's you know one of the most famous people in the world.
[00:16:05] Mike: right
[00:16:06] Keith: it's It's like if you have a chance to entrap Elon Musk, it's a little bit different than if it's like you know the dude that you work with at McDonald's, right?
[00:16:15] Mike: Yeah, that's true. Or like, it'd probably be the manager of the McDonald's more realistically, but yeah.
[00:16:19] Keith: If you you could be so lucky.
[00:16:20] Mike: All right.
[00:16:22] Keith: All right, let's move on. So um let's see here. ah So a listener ah responded on your subreddit, actually, and mentioned prison pearls.
[00:16:31] Mike: Yes. Just yesterday, I think.
[00:16:36] Keith: which ah So they said, ah congrats on 50,000 subs, Mike. lock Look up prison pearls. I think it would make a good topic. Maybe Keith would consider getting one.
[00:16:46] Mike: I think the same person might have emailed us this, by the way, in the past, because there's no way to correlate their email address to their Reddit username, nor would we try.
[00:16:53] Keith: Okay. Yeah.
[00:16:54] Mike: ah So this person has in prison pearls, I believe, are some kind of like Think about like a ball bearing that you um ah surgically implant in the shaft of your penis or and within the foreskin, call it, so that that way your penis is ribbed for her pleasure.
[00:17:10] Mike: I think it would make masturbating odder and maybe harder. i would be worried about them getting dislocated and moving around.
[00:17:14] Keith: I, I,
[00:17:17] Keith: Yeah. You sent me the screenshot of this exchange yesterday and I looked it up then and then I looked it up pre-show and now I'm thinking about again.
[00:17:22] Mike: Yes.
[00:17:26] Keith: it And yeah, i I almost can't sit still. I'm squirming from so much discomfort even thinking about this.
[00:17:32] Mike: Okay.
[00:17:32] Keith: So it's like a small, it's like a BB or a ball bearing, like a small piece of something. I think it's usually plastic, not metal, but, and then somehow it's implanted underneath the skin of your penis.
[00:17:41] Mike: Sure.
[00:17:45] Keith: So you have like a bump.
[00:17:47] Mike: Yes.
[00:17:47] Keith: And they call it a prison pearl because I guess this is something that is done as like an initiation right into prison gangs, perhaps.
[00:17:54] Mike: Mm-hmm.
[00:17:56] Keith: I don't know. Okay, for certain. So why does this weirdo... Okay, maybe they're not weird.
[00:18:00] Mike: I think he fetishizes you.
[00:18:02] Keith: um Maybe.
[00:18:02] Mike: He's into you because he didn't suggest that I do it. He wants you to do it.
[00:18:05] Keith: Well, I'm going to keep my penis extra smooth then so so that he can fetishize me less.
[00:18:08] Mike: how much How much money would he have to offer you to get it done? I mean, we had somebody offer us, I forget how much money, and then he disappeared to have you do something like have sex with a man, give a guy a blowjob, something like that.
[00:18:18] Keith: Yeah.
[00:18:18] Mike: Then he disappeared when we got to the real brass tacks of the numbers. How much would you require to get one prison pearl installed in your penis?
[00:18:22] Keith: Yeah.
[00:18:27] Keith: I would have to understand the physical risks of such a ah operation procedure.
[00:18:30] Mike: Okay. So it's possibly infinite.
[00:18:34] Keith: But yeah, no, there's a number.
[00:18:36] Mike: Okay.
[00:18:36] Keith: High six figures, low seven.
[00:18:38] Mike: Oh, that's a lot. That's a lot.
[00:18:40] Keith: think I'd do it for a million.
[00:18:41] Mike: You could have it removed later.
[00:18:43] Keith: Well, yeah, okay. I mean, in that case, to do it for much less.
[00:18:47] Mike: I think most people, I think that a large percentage of the population for a million bucks would get a facial tattoo with like a swastika. So you're not like breaking any ground here.
[00:18:57] Keith: They would say they wouldn't, but yeah.
[00:19:00] Mike: I think they would. Then they just put make.
[00:19:01] Keith: A million dollars is a lot of money to most people.
[00:19:03] Mike: Yeah, that's right. It's a lot of cash.
[00:19:04] Keith: So, yeah, all right.
[00:19:06] Mike: OK.
[00:19:07] Keith: um All right. um
[00:19:12] Keith: And then our final bit of patter here is a thing that a friend of a friend of the pod said.
[00:19:17] Mike: Yeah, that's right. So this so woman ah brought up having
[00:19:26] Mike: seduced somebody in her life. And the thought thing I thought was interesting, seduced ah man who was older than her. And this is when she was quite young.
[00:19:34] Keith: Mm-hmm.
[00:19:35] Mike: And the thing I thought was interesting about it was the claim that ah she had done this to sort of control their relationship. So basically, and yeah, I'm curious the extent to which you think women do this.
[00:19:46] Mike: So basically they had a relationship that was platonic, but he had more of the upper hand in this relationship.
[00:19:47] Keith: Oh.
[00:19:53] Mike: And so she knew that once he had sex with her, she basically could hold that over his head and sort of control him ah subsequently to that.
[00:20:00] Keith: That's awesome. Yeah.
[00:20:01] Mike: what do Yeah. What do you think about that? is it do you think Do you think that's been done to you?
[00:20:07] Keith: Uh...
[00:20:08] Mike: Like, I don't think it's ever been done to me. Actually, I'm positive of that.
[00:20:14] Keith: Yeah, we'd have to be, i mean, the most common manifestation of this would be in the workplace, right?
[00:20:21] Mike: Yes.
[00:20:23] Keith: I don't...
[00:20:23] Mike: Sure. Or a school, university, a professor and a student, something like that. the Look, I actually i was surprised. i was a little surprised by this idea because normally it would be the i would think of it as the opposite, that once the man has sex with a woman, the woman becomes kind of very attached to him.
[00:20:37] Keith: Yeah.
[00:20:37] Mike: I hadn't considered the possibility that as long as long as the situation is a little bit questionable, like, let's say, an age gap or something, that the woman can basically do this to then take control of the guy.
[00:20:49] Mike: seems like something out of like a horror novel or something, actually.
[00:20:52] Keith: I mean, it's impressive. I worked at a place 20 plus years ago where one of the customer service agents seduced um the head of sales.
[00:21:06] Mike: and All right.
[00:21:06] Keith: And um
[00:21:08] Mike: it do So was it was a woman seducing a man and it was done.
[00:21:10] Keith: yeah, yeah.
[00:21:11] Mike: it was seduction. It wasn't just like they were dating.
[00:21:14] Keith: Correct. ah They slept together and then she got promoted to sales and then she got promoted to partnerships and then she got promoted to marketing.
[00:21:18] Mike: Wow. Wow.
[00:21:23] Keith: And we ultimately had to fire the CMO, the chief marketing officer, who was like a big shot from a major like fortune 10 company.
[00:21:31] Mike: Was this the guy that had had fucked her?
[00:21:33] Keith: All three of them had she had she she had, she had run this operation three times and
[00:21:35] Mike: Oh my goodness.
[00:21:39] Mike: So do you you think they were doing it, do you think she threatened them? Or do you think it was just implicit? Or do you think they just liked her because she was on their dick?
[00:21:46] Keith: i Yeah, I wasn't close enough to be able to know that, but that it happened three times implies that it wasn't love on her side.
[00:21:51] Mike: Hmm.
[00:21:57] Mike: This runs against kind of the cultural argument that women are kind of subjugated in the workplace. And so there' there's this thing that a woman can do i want I wonder how often this happens. In other words, there's this thing a woman can do that really gives her an unfair, very unfair advantage over a man.
[00:22:11] Mike: Like a guy just can't do something like this.
[00:22:14] Keith: I used to do this riff. um let Let me do it now.
[00:22:19] Mike: All right.
[00:22:20] Keith: And I stopped doing it because women reacted so negatively to it. And I don't know.
[00:22:25] Mike: Unlike your other riffs.
[00:22:27] Keith: right, frank yeah. Add it to the list. ah now I don't know. I still don't know if this is like a reasonable point of view or not, but occasionally ah a woman would complain about you know maybe being in a staff meeting where ah you know one of the men at the conference room table ah belittles them you know or steals their idea or talks down to them or whatever it is.
[00:22:52] Mike: yeah
[00:22:55] Keith: If somebody did that to me, I would just immediately be like, what the fuck are you doing? like I said that three minutes ago.
[00:23:00] Mike: in
[00:23:01] Keith: Or...
[00:23:01] Mike: In public, right and right in the conference room, you would say that.
[00:23:03] Keith: Yes.
[00:23:05] Mike: Okay.
[00:23:06] Keith: And as a woman, I think that would have so much more emphasis and so much more weight and strength because, well, maybe now that America's great again, this is no longer the case.
[00:23:17] Keith: but
[00:23:18] Mike: Right.
[00:23:18] Keith: ah But you know before the new administration, it seemed like you know if you were any kind of minority or affected class, that you know like yeah if you were in a Google meeting and you know some man ah belittled you in some way, I just feel like everybody would be forced to overreact to you know whatever you did. And if you actually had good standing to do it, I think you would just do extremely well. you know And if you used it you know judiciously, you know like
[00:23:51] Keith: right if you used it smartly, I think you could really leverage that in a way that a cis white man couldn't. And so anyway, I've been saying,
[00:24:00] Mike: You could come, though I mean, you and the other person in this situation could come off as sort of petulant and finger pointing and stuff like that. Now, I enjoy playing the blame game.
[00:24:07] Keith: You could be clever about it.
[00:24:08] Mike: and Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yes, yes. And this is something I would imagine a woman could be even cleverer than a man at just because women, I think, sometimes understand the emotional tone of situations better than men.
[00:24:15] Keith: Perhaps. Yeah.
[00:24:18] Mike: Okay.
[00:24:19] Keith: Yeah.
[00:24:19] Mike: Okay, that's a great point. Okay.
[00:24:20] Keith: Okay, so I've been saying this for for for you know a decade plus, and women really don't like hearing it, especially when they've just had you know an experience like this in the office.
[00:24:20] Mike: So this is your, yeah.
[00:24:31] Keith: And they'll say like, no, if I do, there will be some sort of retaliation. If there's retaliation, all the better. Just carefully write down what the retaliation was and go find a lawyer and and enjoy your seven-figure settlement.
[00:24:39] Mike: right
[00:24:45] Keith: like i don't...
[00:24:46] Mike: Yeah. They don't like conflict ultimately.
[00:24:47] Keith: ah yeah
[00:24:48] Mike: Right.
[00:24:50] Keith: Yeah. So I just don't... Anyway, I don't remember what got me on that.
[00:24:55] Mike: Oh, no. but what what is But what is the way when you when you say this to a woman, what is the way that it breaks down?
[00:24:56] Keith: and that
[00:24:59] Keith: Oh, yeah.
[00:25:01] Mike: You found it not to work.
[00:25:02] Keith: Yeah.
[00:25:02] Mike: It's that it's that they find you boorish and annoying.
[00:25:04] Keith: Yeah, they think I don't understand...
[00:25:05] Mike: Much the way some people find this podcast.
[00:25:07] Keith: ah Right, exactly. They don't think I understand what it's like to be a woman and how afflicted they are and and how things won't go as as marvelously as I'm imagining and so on and so forth.
[00:25:19] Keith: And um like I said, you know when I started this this you know little thing three minutes ago, yeah, i I concede I might be wrong about this.
[00:25:21] Mike: I think, yeah, I think you're, you
[00:25:28] Keith: I mean, almost every time I've ever brought this up, it goes badly for me. So... I know a lot of people share ah the opinion that I'm wrong here, but ah i'm not I'm still not sure I am.
[00:25:40] Keith: I might might be.
[00:25:40] Mike: No, I think in the main you're right. I think in the main you're right, but but the the the desert of anxiety and negative feelings and so forth that the woman would have to traverse to get from where she is to what you're suggesting, I think most people, I think they they introspect and they say, I just can't.
[00:25:58] Mike: I won't make it. Like, I'll ah'll break down. Something stupid will happen. Like, I'll i'll i'll apologize. I'll... And people, but yeah, people have to know themselves, right? If somebody, if you try to do something emotionally in like an office environment like that and you you can't pull it off, well then it could be worse for you.
[00:26:12] Mike: So like, but if they were able to do it the way, exactly the way you're saying and they're willing to get litigious and stuff like that, yeah, you're probably right that it wouldn't.
[00:26:13] Keith: Yeah.
[00:26:18] Keith: Yeah.
[00:26:20] Mike: I mean, there, although there is also an element of like a boys club in the sense of like, if people get the sense that you're that kind of a person, they might start excluding you from things.
[00:26:26] Keith: yeah
[00:26:27] Mike: So there's some risk.
[00:26:29] Keith: I don't know if I were in a conference room and, you know, let's say there's 10 of us around the table and there's a soft spoken woman who like occasionally has good ideas.
[00:26:32] Mike: That's, you know,
[00:26:42] Keith: And then, you know, one day, like some dude, she accuses some dude of copying her idea, like to his face. I would be like, huh? I bet that guy did copy her idea.
[00:26:53] Keith: And I would just, I would just plus one her and like minus seven him.
[00:26:53] Mike: That's true.
[00:26:56] Keith: Like it would,
[00:26:57] Mike: Yeah, if she did it right. if she Yeah, that's right. If it wasn't, if it wasn't, if it didn't come off as petulant or finger pointing, it came off as like just serious and like, hey, you know, like ah we got to we got to I just have to say this, you know, like this is a like look like we need to give credit where it's due on these things.
[00:27:04] Keith: Yeah, like, hey, like let me participate here. Yeah.
[00:27:12] Mike: Like I think it's important. Like if she she took that sort of like organizational view of it and said the right things, I think you're right. And I think a man would do that too, potentially, although men could probably take this advice as well.
[00:27:20] Keith: Yeah.
[00:27:22] Mike: It's just, and you're right, I think in general, that a woman has more standing to do that than a man because of all this cultural baggage. They can take advantage of that to basically say, well, you know, yeah, this happens to women all the time, but they don't have to start with that. I think it would be implicit.
[00:27:34] Keith: Right.
[00:27:34] Mike: People would know, oh, I've got to be more careful with her because she has this thing she can say. And I don't want to like, don't want to like let that cat out of the bag.
[00:27:39] Keith: Right.
[00:27:42] Mike: Yeah, I think you're right.
[00:27:42] Keith: Yeah.
[00:27:45] Keith: Yeah. All right. Well, was there anything else that she said that you thought was remarkable?
[00:27:50] Mike: ah No, I don't want to say any more about it because I don't want to like ah reveal too much about this situation.
[00:27:54] Keith: Okay.
[00:27:56] Mike: But yeah, I just thought I just i had never. Yeah. And your your work, Stuart, that is not a situation that I've encountered before, but it makes a lot of sense.
[00:28:02] Keith: I think it's unusual and yeah, something like the Ashley St.
[00:28:04] Mike: Yeah.
[00:28:06] Keith: Clair thing with, uh, Elon Musk. Yeah. I'm not sure. I think that badly about it. I mean, yeah.
[00:28:12] Mike: Okay.
[00:28:14] Keith: Yeah. Anyway.
[00:28:15] Mike: I worry about, I don't actually care, but if I was going to care about something, I would worry about the kid.
[00:28:15] Keith: Uh,
[00:28:19] Mike: I don't actually care because Ashley St. Clair's kid is not going to be someone that I care about in my life. But, but
[00:28:25] Keith: yeah She's half Elon. Maybe there's some ah potential up in there.
[00:28:28] Mike: yeah.
[00:28:31] Keith: um All right.
[00:28:32] Mike: Yes. Maybe we'll get a new cryptocurrency. All right.
[00:28:34] Keith: This person says he has a constantly gassy wife. I'd like to preface this that I understand we're humans and we have bodily functions like passing gas.
[00:28:39] Mike: Yes.
[00:28:43] Keith: But my wife is an extremely gassy individual and it really turns me off when I tend to initiate. Being the only one that initiates doesn't help either. Because of the smell and how often she passes gas, And it then becomes a sensory issue to me.
[00:28:56] Keith: It's starting to become an issue and affecting our sex life early on into the marriage plan on bringing this up to her, but just want to see if this is something you've dealt with and how you've dealt with it. Thanks in advance. So, um, let's exclude from consideration, the possible reality that she's doing this on purpose.
[00:29:15] Mike: Yeah, okay.
[00:29:16] Keith: Um, and instead, ah stipulate that she is gassy lady. Um, And I do have some ideas on things she can do.
[00:29:27] Keith: But the first thing I wanted to say is, I think this would be grounds for breakup for me. ah you know but Given that that ah she tried a few things and ah maybe she's you know just throwing her hands up at now, she's like, this is just how I am.
[00:29:42] Keith: I don't know if I could commit to a life of that. that's so that's um That's a lot.
[00:29:48] Mike: I think that in general, i think i I think I agree with you. I think that a piece of wisdom I would give to, it sounds like they're like newlyweds.
[00:29:55] Keith: Yeah.
[00:29:56] Mike: I think that probably people, i mean, so they they got married, so that's a little trickier. But I think that people, particularly men, look, I think that men overlook, have a tendency to overlook a lot of things ah sort of in a relationship because of getting sex.
[00:30:11] Mike: not Not all men are like you, Keith, where you have like this sort of basket of women who want to date you. And so this is less usual. So I think a much more common situation is for men to have very limited access to sex.
[00:30:18] Keith: ah
[00:30:22] Mike: So when a woman shows interest in having sex with them, they're like, they, they, they throw, yeah, they throw judgment to the one I think, but I think it applies like in a bunch of things like people like,
[00:30:26] Keith: Gassy or not.
[00:30:30] Keith: To the wind.
[00:30:31] Mike: like financial habits, overspending. I mean, there's a bunch of like these. I mentioned the money one just know that's like a major factor in divorces, maybe expectations in terms of family. like there's all these things.
[00:30:43] Keith: Yeah.
[00:30:44] Mike: And I think men should be much more willing to like re-roll the dice than they are. um And yeah, I think this one, I think this one definitely could make that list. And it's, and the problem is that,
[00:30:54] Keith: Catch and release.
[00:30:56] Mike: Yeah, even if there is some um intervention that she can do, maybe it'll be something she doesn't want to continue doing. And I'll say like, for instance, last night I was at my gym weightlifting and somebody had just destroyed the locker room and they had the doors closed because it's cold out this time a year.
[00:31:12] Keith: Yeah.
[00:31:12] Mike: And it was really unpleasant. Like I didn't like having to walk in there and just have it be fucking disgusting.
[00:31:15] Keith: Yeah.
[00:31:18] Mike: And so I ive i vibe with it.
[00:31:18] Keith: Yeah.
[00:31:20] Mike: I don't haven't had this experience personally of having a partner with really bad gas. But I think like, yeah, it'd it'd be like if you had a person that had like sort of physical, a physical issue that is like significant and material.
[00:31:30] Mike: you have to think about it. And it's okay to just say like, this doesn't work for me.
[00:31:34] Keith: yeah I think I'm like 98th percentile averse to poop. like ah One of the reasons why I've never really strongly considered having a dog is when I have dog sat for friends or family members, I really don't like you know i to put that bag on my hand and then pick up the poop and it's like warm and it smells like
[00:31:54] Mike: I've never done that, so I hear you.
[00:31:55] Keith: Well, shit, it's awful. um And then, you know, I have friends with children and my sisters, i have nieces and nephews and nephew.
[00:32:06] Keith: And i you know, I've occasionally had to change their diaper. I find it just profoundly unpleasant. And i think it's one of the reasons why I'm just not all that interested in anal. It's like, I just don't want to tempt fate there.
[00:32:18] Keith: And so, yeah, I think this would be a red line for me. But yeah, I did want to say, so I've been um doing some intermittent fasting again this year and I do 36 hour fasts.
[00:32:31] Keith: And when I come out of my fast, what?
[00:32:33] Mike: but Wait, wait, wait. That was my idea.
[00:32:37] Keith: 36 hour fasting?
[00:32:38] Mike: i think the alternate daily fasting.
[00:32:38] Keith: Oh, for this lady.
[00:32:40] Mike: No. Yeah, i'm I'm being like the woman in the conference. room I think the alternate daily fasting I suggested to you. As a sort of practice.
[00:32:46] Keith: as As a way to mit ofic mitigate gas or as a way to, oh yeah.
[00:32:48] Mike: No, as a as a practice for maintaining managing dieting weight.
[00:32:50] Keith: Yeah.
[00:32:51] Mike: I just want I just wanted to be like the woman at the conference room table. And actually, I did it in a terrible way.
[00:32:54] Keith: Oh, yeah.
[00:32:56] Mike: You didn't understand what I was saying, first of all. So I totally fucked up. And secondly, like I did it the most aggressive way possible. OK, so you've been intermittent fasting.
[00:33:03] Keith: Yeah, egg on your face, just as some women must worry. um So, um yeah, and when I come out of my fasts, I need to be really careful about what I eat or else I have some bowel issues.
[00:33:14] Mike: Right.
[00:33:16] Keith: And...
[00:33:17] Mike: What bowel issues are those, Keith?
[00:33:18] Keith: We don't really need to double click on that one, but the point is paying attention to what you eat and how your body reacts to it can have a pretty profound impact.
[00:33:21] Mike: All right.
[00:33:30] Keith: So, you know, maybe it's probiotics, maybe it's, you know, avoiding fiber.
[00:33:31] Mike: Yes.
[00:33:35] Keith: I don't, ah I have no idea, but you know, staying away from dairy, who knows? um But I don't know if it's totally hopeless, but man, yeah, I think it would be a pretty big bummer if like,
[00:33:48] Keith: Every time you know you took her pants off, there's just this strong likelihood of it smelling like a sewer. That's that's not great.
[00:33:58] Mike: I think and ah to be fair, I think this is kind of unusual. Like, I think everybody has normal bodily functions like this. is This sounds like a person who's very aggressive. And I wanted to say also that ah the poop aversion, I think this is I think this is part of the reason why anal.
[00:34:18] Mike: seems more likely to be attractive to a guy when he's younger when he still has the illusion that like women don't poop and so forth and like as you go on in life you get more exposure to different forms of poop produced by different people and animals and i think anal gets a little harder to stomach as you become a little older so so look guys if you want to have anal like have it when you're young i know we'll get some guy i'll write in and be like i'm
[00:34:36] Keith: Huh.
[00:34:41] Mike: I'm 65 and I fuck my wife's ass all day long. I know that. But but I think for a lot of guys like it.
[00:34:47] Keith: You're making me squirm again.
[00:34:49] Mike: I hear you.
[00:34:49] Keith: yeah um All right. This person says, i want to be woken up with cock. We've covered this before, but I think I have a new question about this.
[00:34:57] Mike: Yeah.
[00:34:58] Keith: ah This person says, I have this fantasy. It's been on my mind for a good while now. It's basically about letting a stranger enter my hotel room as I sleep and wake me up with his cock inside of me.
[00:35:05] Mike: Wow.
[00:35:06] Keith: I don't know why, but it just turns me on. The only aspect I don't like about it is the safety issue. It's a minor problem. I was thinking about having a man I know in the room just in case, but I don't really want someone I know watch me get fucked.
[00:35:20] Keith: Any ideas how I should go about this? Anyone ever done something like this before? Should I just forget it and move on? Okay, I actually didn't read this. I didn't know that's where this was going to go.
[00:35:29] Mike: Mm-hmm.
[00:35:29] Keith: um But she she adds an edit She says, may be phrased this wrong. When I'm referring to a stranger, I'm talking about somebody other than a friend, somebody who's not necessarily familiar with me or my life, someone new, I guess.
[00:35:40] Keith: Could be Tinder, someone I met at a night out, et cetera. That's not really a stranger. And of course, there would be a discussion up front about boundaries on both ends. But I've read through a bunch of comments, and I do think the best and still most fun way to go about this is with somebody I trust and maybe implement things such as masks or elements of surprise. Thanks for the feedback.
[00:35:59] Keith: ah Okay. ah Yeah, I don't know about the stranger part here. I wanted to talk about... I mean, that's sort of...
[00:36:07] Mike: I'm interested in the stranger part, but let's start with your with your topic. Yeah.
[00:36:10] Keith: um
[00:36:12] Keith: Let's say you have a partner and she says, I'd like to wake up with you inside of me. And ah we've gone through this before, but like I just don't really understand how that's feasible without waking the person up.
[00:36:18] Mike: yeah
[00:36:26] Keith: But I mean, amongst other things, you'd have to somehow get her wet. So I guess you could warm up some lube and apply it and hope that like the feeling of having the lube applied doesn't
[00:36:37] Mike: Oh, OK, so you're getting really specific on the she cannot be awake until your penis is fully inserted.
[00:36:43] Keith: Yes.
[00:36:43] Mike: That's that's OK.
[00:36:44] Keith: Yeah.
[00:36:45] Mike: um
[00:36:45] Keith: Like, is that possible? Is that like a realistic, I think, i think for every 10 times you tried it, if it's possible, which I'm deeply skeptical, it is like maybe one or two times they wouldn't wake up, but even that.
[00:36:47] Mike: No. I don't think it's likely.
[00:36:59] Mike: I think they I think they'd almost certainly wake up every time.
[00:37:01] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:37:02] Mike: ah
[00:37:02] Keith: I agree.
[00:37:03] Mike: Maybe they could go to sleep with, I mean, this is, I'm just sort of trying to think outside the box here. They could go to sleep with some sort of sleeve inserted into their vagina. So that way, like it's kind of already, like there's already something in there. And so you can sort of insert your penis and then pull the sleeve out.
[00:37:19] Mike: So that way, like the insertion isn't really an activity, like she wouldn't notice it because there's, now now I think that would be a mistake.
[00:37:23] Keith: Yeah.
[00:37:25] Mike: I suspect that women sleeping with their vagina held open would dry things out and be like kind of bad for your health.
[00:37:31] Keith: Yeah. Well, and I think a big part of the fantasy is they want it to be a bit violating.
[00:37:39] Mike: Yes.
[00:37:40] Keith: And so...
[00:37:40] Mike: I don't I think you're maybe reading this to like specific area.
[00:37:41] Keith: yeah yeah
[00:37:45] Mike: You're like getting I think that she just wants to have i think she wants to have the experience of being roused.
[00:37:51] Keith: being woken up by a man trying to have sex with her.
[00:37:54] Mike: Yes, yes, she wants to.
[00:37:55] Keith: Yeah.
[00:37:56] Mike: she she She has like a rape fantasy. That's what's going on.
[00:37:59] Keith: Yeah.
[00:38:01] Mike: um Yeah, so I think that's what's going on. and And in terms of like the security part, I mean, i hate to tell her this, but I mean, I think that I don't think you can really.
[00:38:12] Mike: You can't have one without the other. Like if you know exactly what the guy is going to do, it's not going to fulfill your rape fantasy. Like you need to take the risk, right?
[00:38:18] Keith: Right. There's a paradox.
[00:38:21] Mike: That it's something that you don't want to have happen. And if you take that risk, then unfortunately the reality is unless you're like Michael Jackson and buy the entire hotel out, you know, that somebody untoward might show up.
[00:38:34] Keith: Right.
[00:38:34] Mike: And even then yeah that might happen with the Michael Jackson scenario.
[00:38:36] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and oh I'm a little bit interested in reading this Reddit thread and seeing if she comments anymore because, yeah its yeah, it's a little bit like, you know, it reminds me of, you know, women find it, ah men boorish when they go to bars and, and,
[00:38:57] Keith: you know, men come on to them unless it's Ryan Gosling, right? Like they don't really want to be raped unless it's, you know, like the guy from the cover of the Gothic romance novel. Right.
[00:39:07] Mike: I don't think even then they really, I think it's a fantasy and I think that like the the reality of even sort of consensual non-consent, but certainly non-consensual non-consent is probably not something that people think through. It's it's it's like, I don't know, you know, think about um dominatrixes.
[00:39:24] Mike: I don't know what they do to guys, but I've got to think that
[00:39:24] Keith: Mm-hmm.
[00:39:27] Mike: it i don't think anybody actually wants to be tortured right like i think that that there are things that i could do to a person very quickly they would tap out like i think i could get someone to tap out in like 10 seconds and that's and i think that most people in real torture scenarios would tap out very fast because it's like oh this isn't a joke you're actually going to like grind my teeth down or something um
[00:39:38] Keith: Yeah.
[00:39:48] Keith: Right. Right. For example. Yeah.
[00:39:53] Mike: Like, oh oh, that's a soldering iron, you know, et cetera. um And so these, yeah, so these like fantasies, it's a little bit confusing. That being said, you don't have to do permanent injury to have intercourse with somebody. And it's possible.
[00:40:06] Mike: I just like, I just don't know how it would work. It's like, oh, I want to be raped. It's like, well, once you want it to happen, it's not rape.
[00:40:12] Keith: Right.
[00:40:12] Mike: Like, So do you want to have sex with a stranger?
[00:40:13] Keith: Yeah.
[00:40:15] Mike: i mean, if you want to do that, you could go to a glory hole, go to a ah sex club. There's all these things that you could say. I don't want you know, I want to use a safe word. i don't know. I'm not sure. I'm not sure how you can. I understand people have these desires, but I'm not sure you can physically do it.
[00:40:28] Keith: Right.
[00:40:29] Mike: um And i think I also think that if you were as a man charged with rousing a woman with your penis, so she doesn't so take back the thing where she has to be asleep when the penis gets inserted and just say you have to wake her up.
[00:40:41] Mike: I even think that would be complicated because there's a lot of like theres a lot of flesh back there, down there, whatever.
[00:40:48] Keith: yeah
[00:40:48] Mike: It's a little tricky to like get things in the right place. And like I don't know. might...
[00:40:53] Keith: I'm a very light sleeper.
[00:40:53] Mike: you might do
[00:40:54] Keith: I'm convinced that it would be impossible to arouse me without waking me up.
[00:40:58] Mike: well for a to But waking a guy up with like a blowjob is much clearer to me how it works. Let's say you were sleeping with no underwear on. She could just put your penis in her mouth. But trying to get your penis into a woman's vagina without her helping at all is a little complicated and cumbersome and clumsy.
[00:41:16] Mike: It depends on where she's she' positioned.
[00:41:19] Keith: Yeah.
[00:41:20] Mike: i don't know. and wouldn't be I don't know if it would necessarily be very sexy.
[00:41:22] Keith: Yeah.
[00:41:25] Mike: Now, you yeah, you could do it violently, but again, I'm not sure.
[00:41:29] Keith: Yeah, that's exactly what she's looking for.
[00:41:32] Mike: okay
[00:41:33] Keith: Yeah, okay. All right, next. um This person says, I realize that I may never get oral from my spouse for our entire marriage. Hey, guys, I'll keep this short. My wife, who's 30, and I, 29, have been married since May, and we've known each other since 2018 and been together since 2021. We're both religious, so sex was off the table before getting married.
[00:41:53] Keith: That's the first mistake. I would say our union and intimacy are getting better as the days go by, so I do not really have anything to complain about. We get along well, and we communicate a lot. I've always told my wife during our dating phase that once we would get married, I would happily eat her out, which is what I do regularly to her now. And I must say that I really enjoy it.
[00:42:13] Keith: I forget the way this guy writes. I make an effort to make her come anytime I do it. And I also look for ways to better my technique and make it and even more enjoyable for her. Mind you, she regularly asks me for it now.
[00:42:24] Keith: And I always happily respond positively. It's strange that like a man who's religious enough, not to engage in premarital sex is on the sex subreddit. It's like a strange Venn diagram, but all right.
[00:42:38] Mike: Right.
[00:42:38] Keith: Now I know relationships are not transactional, but a little blow job here and there would be greatly appreciated. But last night before sleeping, I talked to her about it and she told me that she felt it was dirty, that it could cause cancer, they which she was that she was not a dick sucking slut.
[00:42:51] Keith: was very shocked and very sad. I couldn't stay in bed due to my disappointment. So I went to the living room and read a book there to ease my mind until late at night. she had always expressed concern regarding blowjobs during our dating phase, but she told me she would be willing to try with a condom.
[00:43:04] Keith: But now I realize even that might not, might never happen. I've been feeling down ever since that conversation. And I don't know if I should ever bring this up again. I feel like I'm a good lover. She always says so. Maybe I should move on from it and try not to think about it too much. What do you guys think?
[00:43:17] Keith: So, um, I think she should blow him. Um, and I think he, yeah, I've heard.
[00:43:20] Mike: Well, obviously. She's not wrong about the cancer thing, though. But she, I mean, she can get an immunization against HPV, which would decrease it.
[00:43:26] Keith: um
[00:43:30] Mike: I i don't know if RFK Jr. would support that immunization. Yeah, okay.
[00:43:35] Keith: ah does Can you get HPV from your parents?
[00:43:40] Mike: I don't know that, probably.
[00:43:42] Keith: Because if they are both virgins, they may not need... ah Although you can get HPV non-sexually.
[00:43:46] Mike: That's a fair point.
[00:43:49] Keith: In fact, you can get HPV through a condom.
[00:43:53] Mike: Well, it'd be around the condom, presumably, but yeah.
[00:43:55] Keith: um Yeah, presumably, yeah I guess.
[00:43:58] Mike: if I'll tell you what, if a virus can go through a condom, then I really am mad at all those fucking mask people during COVID because that's absurd. like you cant Air can't go through a condom. I think HPV probably can't, but yeah.
[00:44:10] Keith: okay Okay, fine. You're right. you're right you're right right ah yeah must's be it It must be that um it can get around the genitalia. It's not just in...
[00:44:17] Mike: yeah
[00:44:19] Keith: What is it called? Not semen.
[00:44:20] Mike: Well, I mean, people I've seen, I've i had the unfortunate experience of seeing pictures of men and women with genital warts, which is a can be, as you know, produced by HPV.
[00:44:21] Keith: Ejaculate.
[00:44:31] Mike: And a lot of times they're sort of around the base of the or around the vulva. So like, yeah, for sure. It's an area that you might touch like your nuts might touch it. Well, I actually think a condom to your point, a condom probably wouldn't help that much.
[00:44:44] Mike: I guess that was the point you were making anyway. So, yeah.
[00:44:46] Keith: ah Well, I was wondering if she could get cancer from him if he can't have HPV since he was a virgin before.
[00:44:52] Mike: That's a fair point.
[00:44:52] Keith: But yeah was that was where I was going with that.
[00:44:53] Mike: That's a fair point.
[00:44:54] Keith: But in any case, all right.
[00:44:54] Mike: you
[00:44:56] Keith: So she doesn't want to do it. I was trying to think of something that would be equivalent for a man. And I think this is slightly worse, but maybe a good analogy, which is if my partner wanted me to give her a rim job once every three months,
[00:45:10] Mike: Yeah.
[00:45:12] Keith: I think I would do it.
[00:45:12] Mike: Yes.
[00:45:13] Keith: I really don't want to. I've never done it. I really don't like the idea of eating someone's ass. But if i if my wife wanted me to do it, I would do it every so often.
[00:45:24] Keith: I wouldn't want to make it like a regular thing, but I would do it from time to time.
[00:45:28] Mike: What if she wanted you to do it enthusiastically and enjoy it, which is really what the guy wants with the blowjob.
[00:45:32] Keith: Yeah, of course.
[00:45:32] Mike: He doesn't like, he doesn't just want her to like ah be willing, know, kind of like grudgingly do it. He wants her to, and he wants more than that. He wants a enthusiasm. Do you think you could win woman enthusiastically?
[00:45:42] Keith: I mean, okay,
[00:45:45] Mike: Like, Oh baby, this tastes so good.
[00:45:48] Keith: I think, oh, gosh.
[00:45:48] Mike: Yeah.
[00:45:53] Keith: I think I could, yeah You know, if I had enough to drink ah or if I was really stoned or something, like i might be I think I could do it.
[00:45:58] Mike: but if but if you were But if you're acting enthusiastic and then you limit it to once every three months, like how would your how would how do you think your relationship would would navigate that paradox?
[00:46:08] Keith: Yeah, i don't I don't know what she needs to tell herself. but um But yet, you know, wait, this also gives me...
[00:46:13] Mike: The point is he's going to know she's doing it out of duty, but go ahead. Yeah.
[00:46:17] Keith: i mean, this gives me the idea. Could she just give him four or five bad blowjobs? And then eventually he'll just be like, all right, yeah, this isn't really what I was looking for either.
[00:46:25] Mike: That's not a terrible idea strategically for her. he She could, you know, we could give some tips on bad blowjobs.
[00:46:27] Keith: Right.
[00:46:30] Mike: I mean, low, kind of low, low friction, kind of tentative, not enthusiastic.
[00:46:35] Keith: Yeah, not using not using your hand.
[00:46:36] Mike: and like the
[00:46:38] Keith: um Yeah, but...
[00:46:39] Mike: And then when he's going to come, like, just, just like, what do they call that? a Not a failed orgasm. ruling orgasm where basically she's, he's just spurting in the air and she's just nowhere near his penis and she's just watching him, maybe laughing at him.
[00:46:45] Keith: Ruined. Yeah.
[00:46:52] Mike: Yeah.
[00:46:53] Keith: Yeah, and then that will he'll get it out of his system. Yeah.
[00:46:56] Mike: Right.
[00:46:58] Keith: Yeah, I mean, look, there are various sex things that people are less comfortable with. And...
[00:47:07] Keith: But yeah, I think I could. i think even if my partner wanted to, I don't know. I would have to try it once. Well, I guess I haven't tried rimming either. But my thought was if my partner wanted to penetrate me with a dildo like you know twice a year, i think I would be like, all right, fine.
[00:47:26] Keith: I mean, everything else would have to be good, right?
[00:47:27] Mike: I think
[00:47:28] Keith: If everything else is kind of not going great and then she adds this, then I'd be like, well, that that's ah the straw that broke the camel's back. But...
[00:47:36] Mike: yeah I think there's I think there's a ah there i don't think it's, some the the parallel here is not perfect because I think that men seldom do sexual acts out of obligation.
[00:47:50] Mike: And I think women often do sexual acts out of obligation or a feeling of obligation that they aren't that excited about doing.
[00:47:53] Keith: Yeah, sure. sure
[00:47:56] Mike: And so I actually think it would be much easier for the woman to pull this off than it would be for a man. so So this is the thing. You've come up with ah receiving pegging and ah rimming.
[00:48:08] Mike: I don't think you could pull this off. I don't I think the woman would be too sensitive to your emotional um state when performing these actions and she would no longer want it. However, I think that the woman.
[00:48:21] Mike: Could persuasively ah make the man think that she was enjoying it. And actually, even if she tried to do a bad job at it, I think he might be okay with that. And he might just be like, oh, this is you're still sucking my cock and get more out of it than you might think.
[00:48:37] Mike: um I don't know what percentage of sexual acts by women are done out of obligation rather than desire. I strongly suspect it's more than 50%.
[00:48:47] Keith: hu
[00:48:47] Mike: but kind of aggregate worldwide or U S wide. I think it's, yeah.
[00:48:50] Keith: Yeah, well, and the reality is there's a bit of a gray.
[00:48:50] Mike: yeah
[00:48:55] Keith: It's not as binary as that. And so, but I i understand your point.
[00:49:01] Mike: That's true. people's be ah yeah It's very common for a woman to become more interested in it as the activity continues. I guess I would say more out of obligation than not or something like that. So you could say like the preponderance of the evidence for the woman.
[00:49:11] Keith: Yeah.
[00:49:13] Mike: I think i think there are many, many, many women in the United States in relationships, marriages, et cetera, where they basically have sex 100% of the time out of obligation and basically never want to have sex.
[00:49:24] Mike: I think that's really common for various reasons.
[00:49:25] Keith: Yeah.
[00:49:30] Keith: All right, ah let's move on. ah This person says, quote, family planning, unquote, is our new code word, LMAO. Me and my partner were at CVS and the lubricants they have were locked up.
[00:49:41] Keith: We pressed the help button and an intercom for the whole store said associate needed for assistance at, quote, family planning. Me and my partner thought it was so funny for some reason that from now on, that's that's my go-to line for fun time.
[00:49:53] Keith: What do you want to do? You down for some family planning? All right, first of all,
[00:50:00] Keith: I get really annoyed when people reveal their ignorance accidentally in Reddit posts. Like family planning is not some like new euphemism. That's been the way these things have been labeled at drugstores for for decades.
[00:50:12] Keith: Now, probably in more conservative states, it's more common, right? Like, I don't know what they call it at the CVS in the Castro here in San Francisco, probably not family planning, but yeah, who knows?
[00:50:21] Mike: Dick ticklers.
[00:50:23] Keith: It just annoyed me that they like had never heard family planning before and they're like of age to be having sex.
[00:50:28] Mike: I don't know that they never heard it. I mean, the you know the joke is that it's a juxtaposition of two things that are not as similar as they could be, and often that can be humorous, right?
[00:50:39] Mike: So and it's it said it's that it's the very dry term family planning applied to, okay, it would be funnier if it were like, say, dildos, because that's not, I mean, how far do we have to go before it's not plausibly family planning?
[00:50:39] Keith: Yeah.
[00:50:51] Mike: Like,
[00:50:52] Keith: Right.
[00:50:52] Mike: like a sex doll is that family planning, I guess, because the guy's fucking the sex doll, which can't get pregnant.
[00:50:54] Keith: Right.
[00:50:57] Keith: Right.
[00:50:58] Mike: Um, yeah, but, but so, yeah, there's, so they're, they're commenting on the fact that yeah what they want or, you know, they expect family planning to just be the pill condoms, that kind of stuff, not lubricants.
[00:51:10] Keith: I don't know. Maybe. I read this as they had never heard the expression before. But let me go on and make my larger point here.
[00:51:14] Mike: Okay.
[00:51:15] Keith: So some other people comment.
[00:51:15] Mike: Okay.
[00:51:16] Keith: Mine used to be, quote, a serious conversation. we We're going to have a serious conversation when we get home. We need some privacy so we can have a serious conversation. Another person writes, um
[00:51:29] Keith: ah yeah, we say it's because we were talking. um If I text my husband about preheating the oven, it has nothing to do with kitchen appliances.
[00:51:38] Mike: When I was in high school, a girl I was seeing used the term painting the house for blowjobs. We're going to go home and paint the house. Why would That's a really stupid term because right, because it doesn't.
[00:51:50] Keith: not great.
[00:51:52] Mike: ah
[00:51:53] Keith: is her is the Is the back of her throat the house?
[00:51:56] Mike: No, there was no such thought. No, it just doesn't make any sense because ah you don't paint the house very often. like it would be like and that you know Serious conversation, even that's not so good. I mean, they're looking for a euphemism they can say in front of family and friends, right?
[00:52:10] Mike: I assume. They're just trying to be playful.
[00:52:12] Keith: I don't know.
[00:52:12] Mike: What's the larger point you're trying to make? You you don't like people's euphemisms?
[00:52:15] Keith: I don't like that people are afraid to use the words. like I've dated multiple women that are like uncomfortable with the words pussy and vagina.
[00:52:18] Mike: Yes. Yeah.
[00:52:23] Keith: And I don't think...
[00:52:23] Mike: yeah
[00:52:26] Keith: I understand that you know we're socialized to find a lot of these topics taboo.
[00:52:29] Mike: you
[00:52:31] Keith: And maybe it's because we've done nearly 200 episodes of this stupid podcast. But it irritates me when people are so... I don't know, hesitant or squeamish to talk about these kinds of things.
[00:52:44] Keith: I think it's it's sort of um unhealthy to engage in these kinds of things if you're so uncomfortable talking about it.
[00:52:54] Mike: in some ways it's a positive for you. I've found ah in the last six months several in situations talking to women in bars.
[00:53:05] Mike: I'm able to get them to give me kind of detailed sexual histories, I think, because of my willingness. So the point is you have a difference. You have an advantage over other men because of your unique and unusual willingness and ability to discuss these sensitive topics in a way that maybe draws women out. I know that people...
[00:53:22] Mike: Generally, like we we get feedback that this podcast is like male centric and so forth. But actually, like, I don't know, like I've found it's much easier, I think, for me than other men to talk to, to to draw women out. And women are quite willing to talk about these topics when drawn out.
[00:53:36] Mike: when When you try to draw one of these women out who won't say vagina or pussy, what happens?
[00:53:36] Keith: Yes.
[00:53:42] Mike: Are you able to get there?
[00:53:44] Keith: um Yeah, I think I am. I think most people um
[00:53:53] Keith: are sort of eager to talk about a lot of these kinds of things, but haven't really had the permission structure in the past.
[00:53:59] Mike: Yes.
[00:53:59] Keith: And so you know they' they find it initially jarring, but ultimately ah bit of a relief.
[00:54:06] Mike: Yes.
[00:54:07] Keith: So
[00:54:07] Mike: Yeah, and it's useful. yeah did i Did I tell you about the person that I met at this bar? It was a woman who was polyamorous. I did because I told you that she was polyamorous because she said she could love multiple people at the same time.
[00:54:19] Mike: don't know if you remember that. ah That was her rationale for being polyamorous.
[00:54:21] Keith: ah yeah, I remember her. Yes.
[00:54:25] Mike: um she I saw her recently the same at the same bar, and she ah confided in me some some interesting stuff. For example, ah the person she's been seeing is a they.
[00:54:35] Mike: it's ah It's a <unk>s they. It's a non-binary person. And that was very interesting, for example, getting to hear about how a non-binary person fucks. ah
[00:54:45] Keith: What did you learn?
[00:54:45] Mike: I mean... I learned that ah that in this case, a non-binary person is just a man. This is just a man who wants to be called they, but actually has a penis and wants to have sex with women exclusively.
[00:54:58] Mike: ah So I'm not sure.
[00:54:59] Keith: I would let a woman call me they if I got to have sex with her.
[00:55:02] Mike: Well, it depends on how attractive this woman I don't think is ah to your level of attractiveness ah to to get that. um
[00:55:08] Keith: But do you think he's running some sort of operation here, which is he ah ah posh positions himself as you know woke and sensitive, and that that makes him attractive to a certain kind of woman?
[00:55:20] Mike: i don't think so I don't think so, but I think that but i think you're on to something, which is I think that he's not conventionally attractive. And I think that much as the the goth people of the 1980s might have been doing the same thing, he's basically using this as a lever to get himself into women's pants by basically having something unique and unusual about himself, ah themselves, I guess, ah that sort of creates that permission structure. Yeah.
[00:55:48] Mike: yeah so anyway the you know you can you can uh yeah that like being able to speak more frankly about this stuff can open certain doors i don't know if it's open doors for you in your day-to-day life
[00:56:00] Keith: I'm sure it has.
[00:56:03] Keith: I mean, yeah, i think I think generally just being comfortable talking about anything is good. And and and the topic of sex is probably ah even more so.
[00:56:15] Mike: sure
[00:56:16] Keith: mean, it's something that everyone thinks about. Anyway, all right, let's move on. ah This person says, i blew my friend once and he won't leave me alone. What do I do? Probably like a year ago, I gave a blowjob to a friend. He wanted it. I wanted it. Good fun. No problems.
[00:56:28] Keith: But to me, it was kind of a done deal after that.
[00:56:28] Mike: Amen.
[00:56:30] Keith: Didn't really feel like giving him more after the first time. And he eventually brought it up. I made that clear. One time thing, note that no strings attached. Ever since then, he regularly brings it up, jokes about getting another one or just straight up asking me for one.
[00:56:44] Keith: Say no every time. It was a one time thing. Don't expect more. But he keeps asking, keeps making remarks. Hell, I was with a girl I'm kind of into once and he just came by and he made a joke about the blowjob in front of her.
[00:56:54] Keith: It was so embarrassing. It was tough looking at her in the eyes after that. I'm just so over it. I don't know how to make him stop his bullshit all over oral from a year ago.
[00:57:00] Mike: Wait,
[00:57:02] Keith: What do I do?
[00:57:04] Mike: what is the gender or sexual identity of the person speaking here?
[00:57:08] Keith: must be bisexual.
[00:57:10] Mike: ah bisexual woman or man?
[00:57:12] Keith: and It's unclear, but
[00:57:14] Mike: If it was a man, this is different than, I mean, yeah, I don't, but say I think it's a woman. it's that the tone sounds like a woman.
[00:57:18] Keith: I think it's a woman too.
[00:57:19] Mike: So it's a woman who's bisexual or maybe lesbian, wanted to try. By the way, that's like a somewhat frequent ask on the NSFW411 forum to find porns of a lesbian trying so penis for the first time.
[00:57:31] Mike: And there actually is one porn actress who's done this and it's it's pretty boring actually, but you know, she's, cause she's just completely not into it and so forth.
[00:57:32] Keith: Huh.
[00:57:40] Mike: Like it must itch some scratch for people, scratch some itch for people. To see that. um But yeah, I mean, so she yeah, I mean, this is this reminds me of the woman having sex with the guy to take control of him. Basically, she now has him on a leash a little bit because she gave him this one blowjob and he obviously does not have a bottomless source of blowjobs in his life.
[00:58:01] Keith: Right. Yeah. I mean, my read is she blew him. He liked it. And even though she claims she's told him a bunch of times that she was so embarrassed by him bringing it up in front of her friend, sounds like she might not have been... ah She just basically needs to slap him a little bit. She needs be like, hey, dude, it's not happening again.
[00:58:26] Keith: Stop it.
[00:58:27] Mike: Well, but I think, I mean, I think there's, okay, yeah, go
[00:58:27] Keith: um And i don't I'm not sure I believe she's done that.
[00:58:31] Mike: Yeah, I think there's something a little bit deeper here, which is that, you know women, so if a man does things to, I mean, having sex with them is the obvious one, but does things to basically initiate in a woman's eye a relationship,
[00:58:43] Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:58:44] Mike: There's a lot of this behavior that comes out of that, her showing up at your door crying or apartment crying or whatever, like all he calling you, texting you like the woman now thinks you're in relationship. You're now her partner.
[00:58:55] Mike: Well, I think there's something similar that can happen and sort of, yeah, that can happen when a woman is willing to consume the ejaculate of a man like he now views her as his partner.
[00:59:05] Mike: And so she has to break up with him.
[00:59:05] Keith: yeah
[00:59:07] Mike: Like you've now you've initiated a relationship here and you have to break up. And it's it's kind of bizarre to me that as a woman, she doesn't understand that. Like you've and yeah, she may have to disconnect from him.
[00:59:16] Keith: Yeah, she might just need to distance.
[00:59:16] Mike: Like she may have destroyed their friendship.
[00:59:18] Keith: Yeah, like he may never get over it. And so, ah you know, having him as a quote unquote friend may not no longer be in the cards.
[00:59:21] Mike: Yeah.
[00:59:26] Mike: and My guess would be that in the majority of cases where two people have sex that were friends prior to that, it that it if it does not proceed onto a relationship, that it ends the friendship. I think that's more likely than not that that would happen.
[00:59:39] Mike: think it would require... What it would require is two people who have lots of other options for relationships. Yeah. I think for them to remain friends. but So then it's like, look, you know whatever. I can get a blows somewhere else. You can get...
[00:59:53] Mike: attention somewhere else. But if either or both of them like are kind of more solitary, less attractive, less outgoing, yeah, and then you can and then you basically have to disconnect from each other.
[00:59:59] Keith: Yeah, they'll just fixate.
[01:00:03] Mike: So I think most of the time this won't work. I think it could work. i've I mean, I've never been one of these people. have you Have you experienced a situation like this where you had like sex we had a friend, had sex one time or whatever, some sexual contact one time and then went back to being friends?
[01:00:16] Mike: I guess you have, actually. I can think of one example.
[01:00:18] Keith: I have, yeah.
[01:00:20] Mike: Okay, but it but it was probably a person that had lots of options.
[01:00:20] Keith: But I'm not sure it was as clean as I imagined it.
[01:00:25] Mike: Interesting. Interesting. You had enough other options that you did not fixate this other person may or may not have, so you didn't know.
[01:00:31] Keith: that's that That's right, yeah.
[01:00:33] Mike: Right. Yeah. i I would think a woman would be attuned to that. like women I think all women have had the experience of pining away after somebody. I mean, that's what like two-thirds of Taylor Swift's catalog is about.
[01:00:44] Keith: And she's Taylor Swift.
[01:00:46] Mike: Right, right. She's getting fucked by a tight end, ah purportedly.
[01:00:51] Keith: yeah With a tight end. Well, right. We'll see if, uh, I read today that he's planning on playing next season. So that's exciting. Uh, anyway, that will do it for this episode of your mileage may vary.
[01:01:06] Keith: You can send us feedback or questions to why MNV pod at gmail.com. That's why MNV pod at gmail.com. Also remember, we're looking for, i don't know, a podcast producer, social social media manager, someone who can take care of those things.
[01:01:20] Mike: if you
[01:01:20] Keith: in Impressive fashion.
[01:01:20] Mike: You should introspect and if you're retarded. If you think you might be retarded, don't email us.
[01:01:27] Keith: Okay.
[01:01:27] Mike: Yeah.
[01:01:28] Keith: Good pro tip. um We paid $10 for any and all feedback received. ah So ah yeah, again, ymmvpod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening and we'll catch you next week at, what is this?
[01:01:41] Keith: Oh, your mileage may vary. All right, bye.
[01:01:43] Mike: All right.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 198: Elon’s Latest Heir, Strategic Bad Blows, Prison Pearls, Obligation Sex, Oral Ruining Friendship

Episode Transcript