Your Mileage May Vary: Fake Orgasms, Vaginal Exercise, Sexsomnia, Women's Scent, Older Men, Most Intense Orgasms

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[0:18] Keith: very turned on by the idea of working out my pussy, having the strongest pussy that's able to do all kinds of things. She should move to Thailand and the idea of someone telling me to work it out and make my pussy strong and tight and wait for them do these kinds of exercises all the time and fantasize about someone telling me to do them and making me and enjoying it afterwards.
[0:20] Keith: Is this a kink?
[0:33] Mike: This sounds like a cam girl trying to get men to direct message her so she could tell them what show to go watch.
[0:47] Keith: Hello, and welcome to your mileage May vary. Your mileage may vary is a podcast about sex that occasionally wades into how it affects relationships. I am Keith. My co host is the unparalleled Mike. You there, Mike, I'm here. Okay. Hi. Hi. Uh,
[1:13] Keith: we've done a couple interview episodes in a row, so today it's just going to be the, um v o G s. And we have way have a lot of topics to cover. But before we dive in, just reminder that we appreciate ratings and reviews on whatever podcasting platform you use and go ahead and tell a friend or lover about the secret perverted podcasts. We listen Thio, and then you'll be liberated. Toe have your own interesting conversations about the mechanics of squirting or the intensity of orgasms.
[1:24] Keith: We also enjoy hearing feedback. We pay $15 to anyone who sends us a few thoughts on the show to, uh, y M M v pod at gmail dot com.
[1:29] Keith: Okay, Mike, time to start the show. Do you have a porn clip first Watch?
[1:43] Mike: Yeah, I have a couple. They're a little different, so I think we should watch one. We could have a little discussion about it. Then watch the second one. Um, they're both They're both entertaining in the second one. In particular, I think could, uh, could provide us with some future episodes worth of entertainment to.
[1:48] Keith: Okay, shall we? Okay, so we're gonna do the red gifts one first here.
[1:53] Mike: Yeah, and as usual, will put these in the show notes so people can follow along.
[1:58] Keith: Okay. All right. I'm going to start in 321 starting.
[2:21] Mike: So it's the backside of a woman whose naked she's up and down on a dildo. She's rubbing her butt with her finger and oh, she slipped her pinky in her butt and she's doing something with it and still riding up and down, and it looped there. And the thing that I thought was interesting about this, I mean, she does have a pretty long fingernail on her pinky. She does. It seemed dangerous. But the thing that I found interesting about this one was like,
[2:23] Mike: Is that
[2:31] Mike: Is that if self pinky in the but a thing that you've ever seen a woman do or something You think what a woman would find compelling?
[2:33] Keith: Um,
[2:37] Keith: in real life? No,
[2:42] Keith: but in porn, I've seen this kind of thing before. I don't know.
[2:44] Keith: Feels
[2:52] Keith: little bit performative here I am noticing that her her assholes a little bit dilated, Is it not?
[2:53] Mike: Let me check.
[3:01] Mike: Uh, yeah. You're basically saying you think this isn't seen one? This is like seeing correct? Correct? Correct. Maybe this is like a cam girl.
[3:05] Mike: It's actually Yeah, when you look at like, she's in a hotel room, obviously.
[3:09] Mike: Yeah, I don't even look at the surroundings there, but yeah, I mean,
[3:12] Mike: yeah, So maybe this is something she's been doing repeatedly here.
[3:16] Keith: That dildo looks.
[3:24] Keith: It's long. It's China. It does it Zong and Dorothy. But it's also it looks fairly
[3:25] Keith: realistic.
[3:31] Mike: Yeah, and I'm sure it's shining cause it's been lubricated, right? Yeah, by herself.
[3:38] Mike: Well, no, it's lubricated, like, kind of evenly from top to bottom. So I'm guessing she when you say by herself, do you mean by her natural lubrication or by
[3:50] Keith: that is what? But now that you mention it, it feels yeah, she may have She may have prepared this, uh, this item Eso
[3:52] Keith: Yeah, it does This
[3:59] Keith: does this amp some sort of pleasure for her? Is that your question? You're wondering if inserting a pinky into her own anise while she's
[4:00] Keith: well fucking
[4:01] Mike: filled out,
[4:04] Mike: like, yeah, right. I mean, it could, like, sort of make it tighter.
[4:09] Mike: It could. I mean, probably this is just thio for the audience, for the
[4:12] Mike: the crowd crowd pleaser,
[4:16] Mike: but yeah, I mean, I just didn't like it's It's such a like I can't Okay,
[4:23] Mike: I find it hard to imagine that a substantial percentage of women do this if they're by themselves without a camera.
[4:31] Keith: I think this is completely performative, you know, look as a Bazian I would say, Yeah, My my Prior is like 90%. This
[4:43] Mike: is performative, okay? She's getting nothing out of it. And she's just like, Oh, if I maybe she yeah, she wanted she just like, in the middle of masturbating and realized she wasn't sure if she needed to poop. No, that's not that's not
[4:46] Keith: Yeah, but there is, like, some
[4:57] Mike: theoretical thing where, like it would be increasing the tightness or something. I mean, I could at least imagine that. And you see, guys sometimes. Well, it's guys saying, Oh, hey, here's a way to make it tighter, But on Reddit guys will say, Hey,
[4:58] Mike: here's a good trick.
[5:02] Mike: You sort of if you if you put more stuff in her pelvis than the vagina gets tighter.
[5:07] Keith: Yeah, I've had I've had sex with women who like having
[5:10] Keith: a finger inserted a little bit,
[5:13] Keith: uh, like this one that's doing
[5:16] Keith: Yeah, I guess, But I guess
[5:29] Keith: thinking back this person liked an index finger or a middle finger inserted like that. She's getting up to her third knuckle here, and
[5:35] Keith: this person didn't want that. She just wanted, you know, a little bit.
[5:41] Mike: Do you? Did you ever like, get to the bottom of what the rationale was for that It was just purely like I like feeling something.
[5:44] Keith: We didn't get close enough to have those kinds of conversations,
[5:58] Mike: okay? And it was it ever her that did that, or was it always you? It was always me. So how did she like without it? Okay, so it was nonverbal. How did she nonverbally convince you that this is what she wanted?
[6:03] Keith: This is an excellent question. Let me let me think back. Uh,
[6:05] Keith: I think
[6:12] Keith: I think what happens is okay, so my hands are on her ass and, you know, you sort of
[6:37] Keith: in the course of of moving them around and doing your normal fondling every once in a while, you sort of get, like, a little bit closer. And it's not like she says, hotter, hotter, colder. But she could sort of lean in hormone or angle herself to sort of encourage movement toward a certain epicenter. And I think I think that's how it was done. It wasn't It wasn't spoken, but you could sort of
[6:41] Keith: you could sort of get the get the idea.
[6:42] Keith: Uh, so
[6:56] Mike: she would So So she was Mawr excited as you got closer to that area with your hands? Correct. But that's interesting because you don't okay, so you don't actually know in that situation If she was doing that because she thought that's what you wanted or because it actually an answer experience,
[6:59] Keith: it seemed to enhance her experience.
[7:19] Keith: That's always the I know your thesis is that nobody has ever, nobody's ever enjoyed. I think sex with me and everything is before, but no, no, no, no. My thesis is that 1000% of the time, everyone I've ever had sex with him, the best partner I've ever had. So the reality is somewhere in between those two things,
[7:19] Keith: right?
[7:34] Mike: It's not that I think they never have enjoyed it with you. It's that I think that there are a lot. I think that, yeah, I wasn't specifically thinking about you at all. It's, I think, that generally I think that women enjoy a less than men. Hope they dio just in general.
[7:43] Keith: Sure, Yeah, the the idea is they might do something that is neutral or maybe a little bit bad to them. If they think that's what their partner wants,
[7:54] Mike: right and so, like, she might, for instance, have had a previous partner or something who really, really enjoyed doing that to her. And it doesn't really matter to her. And so she's like, Okay, well, you know, it's gonna really like this. Um,
[7:58] Keith: this person was pretty loud, and she got
[7:59] Keith: materially louder.
[8:01] Keith: Um,
[8:04] Keith: after a finger was inserted a little bit.
[8:04] Keith: Uh
[8:10] Mike: huh. I'm always, as you know, suspicious of loudness, though. Such an easy thing to stimulate even
[8:17] Keith: saying it, you know, like I'm gaslighting myself into wondering about the whole thing. This'll
[8:22] Mike: is actually a great breaking like, this is a great lead indoor. A second video
[8:25] Keith: up. This first video is quite attractive, by the way.
[8:30] Mike: Agreed. Agreed. So well worth the click to our listeners.
[8:39] Mike: Um, the second one is an actual video. It's not a gift. And so people will need to know that they need to advance to six minutes and 30 seconds of video. 6 30
[8:44] Keith: e o. This'll locks that this opens on
[8:51] Mike: on mine. It's like, uh, it's like an in motion frame. It's like one of those old baseball cards where it's like the person's actually swinging.
[8:52] Mike: Uh, not for you?
[9:08] Keith: No, for me, It's just she's pulling apart her labia and all right. Yeah, I can like this good anatomical image. Okay, Alright. 66 35 is the timestamp. I'm supposed to be going. I'm a 6. 36. 30. All right, let me go to 6. 30
[9:09] Mike: right?
[9:10] Mike: Yeah. So we can watch it. And I mean, we
[9:16] Keith: don't have to watch. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what I'm starting to start in 321 now.
[9:24] Mike: So it's a woman masturbating, Uh, just this traditional way with their fingers on the top, rubbing her clit, nothing internal.
[9:28] Mike: Here she goes. She's rubbing and rubbing a lot of moaning sounds,
[9:35] Mike: uh, pretty kind of gynecological view here. You can't even see her face, to be honest.
[9:38] Mike: Um, just a just a bit of neck.
[9:42] Mike: Yeah, she's rubbing and rubbing.
[9:43] Mike: This is taking a while.
[9:46] Keith: What is gonna happen here? That the
[10:01] Mike: She's going to announce something soon, but maybe 6. 30 was a little bit too. Here we go. She says I'm coming and then watch to three contractions. Four of Uranus 56 contracts to Verena seven. Yeah,
[10:07] Mike: the eighth one. Sort of stayed contracted. Oh, there's 1/9. Now. She's sort of pulling upward on the clit. Good.
[10:10] Mike: And there's a 10, maybe 11.
[10:12] Mike: She's still moaning.
[10:16] Mike: Okay, 12 13 contractions. 14.
[10:26] Mike: Okay, so, no, I think it's worth watching that entire clips about a minute from, uh, now we're about 7. 30 in the video, and she's now kind of stop touching herself. And she's finished now.
[10:26] Mike: Um,
[10:28] Keith: and she post one more time there, I think.
[10:34] Mike: Yeah. The name of this one is really orgasm. Contractions in dorm room. Okay, now
[10:37] Mike: I'm going to take the position that this is a fake orgasm.
[10:38] Mike: Okay?
[10:41] Mike: What do you think
[10:43] Mike: you will be toe to substantiate that, or do you want to start
[10:45] Keith: first?
[10:48] Keith: Okay, let me Let me try to
[11:04] Keith: say what I think your argument is gonna be constructing a straw man. Go forth. This is so surgically precise. And the label of the video is Yeah,
[11:07] Keith: such that you think
[11:11] Keith: What? What happens here is what she thinks men want to see.
[11:23] Keith: And what happens is yeah. I mean, it looks like I don't have a vagina, so I can't, like, pull in in that way. But if I like, clench my sphincter. I think I could
[11:27] Keith: imagine having contractions like this.
[11:28] Keith: Ah,
[11:31] Keith: faking contractions like this.
[11:34] Mike: Yeah. I mean, well, I mean, first of all,
[11:40] Keith: at about the rate that she is, right? Like I think I think orgasm contractions are more rapid than this. I
[11:54] Mike: looked that up and they according to I think it's Masters and Johnson. They start out at 0.4 of a second apart, and then they slow down. And I don't think she ever achieves something that rapid. To be honest, frequency is not achieved,
[12:03] Mike: right? It would be It's sort of harder to do that voluntarily, so that that's a symptom. A sign, in my view, she also
[12:10] Mike: okay. We talked about this last episode with Ali. Um, she announces,
[12:18] Mike: she announces that she is going to come. She's like, I'm going to come or something like that. Not to me. Yeah, well, a cameraman, maybe it's just a camera set
[12:22] Keith: up. No, I think this is a camera set up.
[12:28] Mike: Yeah, and so that, to me, makes me suspicious. The number of contraction seems high to me.
[12:32] Mike: Mm. Um,
[12:38] Keith: yeah, I think. What's that? What's that? Subreddit changed my view I think
[12:40] Keith: I think this is fake. Yeah, I don't
[13:05] Mike: know, but it's really I will say this. Let me give the flip side like I part of the reason I wanted to talk about it is like I thought it was. If it's a fake, it's pretty good. Like, I think that so point being that I'm not sure, like, I'm sort of 70% sure here. I'm not 99% sure it all like, I think that because, for example, like the cadence of the slows down like the first ones are closer together than the remainder. Remainder and like,
[13:12] Mike: ah, like it's Yeah. I mean, it just shows you that even even as a man who
[13:20] Mike: quote unquote, really knows what it looks like. Like I'm I'm not sure you could be sure like that a woman could simulate, I think effectively.
[13:42] Keith: Why would she fake? Like this person seems fairly sexually liberated. She doesn't mind putting a webcam nine inches away from her labia and posting it to the internet. So this doesn't seem like a person that is particularly sexually repressed. And so if she can orgasm, why not actually orgasm?
[13:42] Keith: Yeah, I
[13:55] Mike: know It's a good question and that I mean, that's your You're basically arguing motive here and, uh, means motive, opportunity and so forth. I mean, like, uh, no, it's true. And I mean, like, you say, like, if I were making
[14:07] Mike: a video was a man, you have no choice. Uh, God bless those men Who, by the way, post themselves ejaculating on gone wild tube on Reddit. No, Nobody. Nobody wants to see that, guys,
[14:09] Mike: but they dio
[14:22] Mike: um trying. No, they don't. Yeah. Anyways, the flipside of why are you doing that? But yeah. I mean, like like, right? Why would she fake and that, actually, yeah, that's part of the 30%. Why? I think it might be really is just, like, why would you do that?
[14:30] Mike: But, I mean, like, yeah, I mean, maybe camera shy, maybe Like, she's like doing a camp show. And like, she needs toe, please, our audience.
[14:39] Keith: Well, or maybe you know, her idea for this particular piece of web content was I'm going to show contractions, and so,
[14:43] Keith: you know, she's really hamming it up for the camera.
[14:44] Keith: Yeah,
[14:46] Mike: Yeah, I mean, it also could just be like
[14:52] Keith: maybe she had an orgasm, but it was way it was subtle. And then at the end, she sort of,
[14:54] Keith: you know,
[14:59] Mike: I thought about that. And the reason why to go about that is Theoneste Mint. I just don't
[15:04] Mike: I mean, have you? You've never been with a woman who announced like that. Ali never announced
[15:05] Mike: Erica North woman who
[15:08] Keith: announced she is on camera. Yeah,
[15:10] Keith: yeah, Dude, like
[15:17] Keith: it's possible that she's It's possible that she's both embellishing and actually going through something. It's,
[15:23] Keith: I don't know. I don't know, e. I don't know if we could find her on Twitter and, you know, invite her on the show are you
[15:25] Mike: know?
[15:41] Mike: Well, that's almost certainly going to be difficult, but yeah, like it makes it just I saw that because I was I was obviously searching for a real one on Porn Hub, and I thought to myself, like was like, I wonder if I've never seen a real female orgasm on porn.
[15:49] Mike: That's what made me think I was like, This is so convincing that maybe it Israel. But let's say it's not that I was like, Well, maybe they're all fake on porn
[15:51] Mike: importance.
[15:52] Mike: Well, that's interesting.
[15:58] Keith: Gosh. Yeah, I have no idea. Obviously, some large percentage of them are. I don't know if it's
[16:02] Keith: 90 or 60 or 40 if
[16:15] Mike: if you're with a woman and let's say she required external stimulation like this to get off. And so you're like, okay? And you are doing whatever you were doing. Whatever external stimulation, this would have fooled you, right?
[16:18] Mike: Oh, sure. If it's if it's fake. Yeah, I think it
[16:23] Keith: would. I'm not down there. I'm not down there with, like, a GoPro HD or whatever she has here,
[16:28] Keith: you know, carefully studying the period between, um,
[16:44] Keith: between contractions, like, you know, I'm in the moment to, like, you know, maybe I've had a drink or two, you know, it's just you know, I'm right. Not nearly as I don't have my monocle on, you know, carefully examining the evidence with that. I will say that.
[17:00] Mike: So I searched a number of these last point on this for me. I searched a number of these on porn hub, and I was surprised at how many quote unquote real female orgasm videos there are where they have this sort of gynecological view where they don't have any contractions. And you're like, Look,
[17:09] Mike: then it's like, Come on, your not I mean, it just doesn't feel like they're even trying. It's like at least this woman, God bless, like putting in the effort to, like, make it look real. If it's not so
[17:11] Keith: Yeah,
[17:14] Keith: yeah. I mean,
[17:16] Keith: people argue that
[17:19] Keith: contraction intensity massively Berries.
[17:26] Mike: Sure, but I will. Okay, fine. I mean, I I saw a number where there was just e mean. Yeah, it was a very
[17:28] Keith: its's.
[17:40] Keith: The baseline assumption has to be No. Yes, yes. So All right, well, I've been staring deep into this woman's vagina for the last x minutes. I'm gonna close that window.
[17:41] Keith: Um,
[17:48] Keith: okay. Should we talk about this sex Omnia? Yes. Okay, so
[17:54] Keith: this person says she writes into Reddit. I need help with my boyfriends. Sex Omnia
[18:14] Keith: Uh, she says Okay. Partial story time slash advice needed. So last night my boyfriend of about a month was staying over. We're both laying in bed spooning. He was asleep and I was on my phone all of a sudden, he grafting bye bye hips and started pulling me closer, almost forcibly. It was definitely caught off guard, but I was okay with it because I was feeling kind of horny. Anyway,
[18:37] Keith: he proceeded to finger me, and then he started taking off his pants, climbed on top of me, and we started having sex as usual. But something was off. He seemed more assertive than he regularly regularly is. I like it pretty rough. So I was down for it. But I could tell that his demeanor was off. He was definitely super turned on, and he was moaning and grunting a lot. We ended up on Lee having sex for about two minutes before he climaxed, and then he got up without a noise and came back with a towel, lay down and said, Sorry, baby.
[18:49] Keith: I said, no, I'm okay. That was nice. He smiled and we fell back asleep. I didn't really think much of it. Even though I knew it was a little different than sex we usually have. All right. So for everything so far, so good. All there's there's a couple
[19:13] Keith: pieces of foreshadowing embedded in there. Then this morning, after we woke up and we're talking, he said to me, Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you this, but I need you to know something. I was nervous, but I said Okay, what's up? Basically said that he has a condition where he has sex during his sleep and sometimes he's aware of it. And other times he's not. I was admittedly surprised. I never heard of this before. I asked him if it had happened last night and he said yes.
[19:21] Keith: How would he know that? He told me that he was unaware until he finished that. Oh, until he finished that it was real or not.
[19:23] Keith: And not just a dream.
[19:31] Keith: I was definitely concerned, but he assured me that it was okay. And then he didn't want me to be scared. He just wanted me to be be aware what? Aware that he's gonna
[19:32] Keith: Yeah,
[19:45] Keith: okay. I asked if I should stop him during or anything like that. And he said on Lee, if I'm uncomfortable or not enjoying it, I said Okay. And he seemed relieved. This is this is not a thing. After he left work, I looked it up online to find out more about it. Indeed, his exact characteristics
[19:50] Keith: during sex last night match the characteristics of someone experiencing sex. Omnia
[19:55] Keith: he was assertive and a glazed over look in his eye, engaged in varying sexual acts, etcetera.
[20:03] Keith: I was wondering, Do any of you have sex Omnia And is that something you struggle with? How do you and your partner's deal with it and you will help?
[20:04] Keith: What was
[20:08] Mike: the thing that you said was not a thing?
[20:15] Keith: Well, that he doesn't know until he climaxes. That's awfully convenient. Uh huh. Right. It's, ah,
[20:19] Mike: shades of shades of date rape or some kind of Well,
[20:24] Keith: it's like he wants this, like, carte blanche to do whatever he wants
[20:25] Keith: and then
[20:32] Keith: right after the moment of it doesn't matter anymore. He's like, Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry. Well, I mean, like, one of the things
[20:35] Mike: that that makes me think right off the bat is like,
[20:41] Mike: is Okay, let's say that you take this You I know you're skeptical about what, and I am too about whether this is, like,
[20:51] Mike: really possible. I mean, I think initiating in a dream or something is possible. I think once he's actually climbing on top of her, it starts to become a little unbelievable, But okay,
[20:57] Mike: but let's say you believe it. Um, Then I started thinking, Well, Is she doing something wrong?
[21:07] Mike: Like, let's say I mean, just as a really simple example. Let's say she wasn't on birth control. E like Is is she okay? She's having sex with an unconscious person,
[21:09] Mike: right? Mhm.
[21:11] Mike: Well, I mean, is that okay?
[21:14] Mike: Yeah. Options. You wake
[21:21] Keith: up not explicitly given consent, right? Well, I mean, he has explicitly not given consent, right?
[21:30] Mike: Right. So it's like, I mean, it's just interesting. It's like it's like the I think, the natural assumption of, Of course, the natural assumption here that a listener would say is Wait a minute. I mean,
[21:32] Mike: he's the aggressor.
[21:44] Mike: It's weird that he's doing something for yourself. Sure, sure. So? So people would. I think the natural thing would be like to stand up in her defense and say, Wait a minute. This things happening where, like maybe she doesn't want it. That's true. I just wanted to bring up the count on the
[21:50] Keith: other side. Well, they can both victims, right? Like I don't I don't think it has to be one of the other.
[21:58] Mike: If they're both victims. And who's the accused? E don't know. Smooth.
[22:09] Mike: Yeah, I mean, like, that's like one thing. It's interesting to me that it never went through her mind like, Hey, if well, she didn't think she she thought he was awake. That's fine. But it did. She didn't in anywhere in there. Say, Hey, wait a minute.
[22:11] Mike: Should I be doing this?
[22:13] Mike: You know,
[22:27] Keith: and I've read that this is a thing before. Yes, this is one of these things that sort of like it becomes like a meme on Reddit. And it's hard to tell. Like I think three quarters of the reported cases are fake,
[22:30] Keith: but there are some that are actually riel. Explain to
[22:33] Mike: me why a guy would fake this.
[22:39] Mike: I think the way like if he's if he wants it and he doesn't know if she if she's asleep already, it's a way for him just to do it.
[22:50] Keith: He doesn't have to engage in any foreplay. What? He She started pulling me closer, almost forcibly. It definitely caught me off guard, but I was okay with it because I was feeling kind of party anyway, like
[22:53] Keith: and then he started taking up pants like Come on, that wouldn't
[22:58] Mike: work for you, Keith. Right, Because you are all about the foreplay like lighting candles and candles.
[23:02] Keith: Bad my sleep self would probably be in, like, our four foreplay. And
[23:09] Mike: of course, you know, like you'd be you get the silk pajamas out telling you imagine
[23:13] Keith: it Place of Norah Jones. Uh,
[23:14] Keith: yeah, I don't
[23:19] Keith: This guy. Yeah. Okay, look, this might be a thing.
[23:31] Keith: It just feels super convenient to say this is a thing after you've sort of lazily grabbed someone in the middle of the night e just just just on orgasm in them. I just don't
[23:34] Mike: think that Did you say jump? Just a dump in orgasm in them.
[23:40] Keith: That is exactly what I said. Yes, that's what happens here, right? Like she said, it was two minutes.
[23:48] Keith: He said, I'm sorry, baby. Because his sleep self is also self conscious about not lasting very long, Like Come on,
[23:48] Keith: I just think that
[23:52] Mike: like, Okay, I mean, look, people, um,
[23:57] Mike: you could never fault people for having too much foresight. I mean, people, humans are not very good at
[24:19] Mike: forecasting what's gonna happen. But I mean, like, Okay, let's say that you convinced your partner that you have this malady that may or may not exist. How many times. Do you think you could realistically get away with this before she would just start, like slapping you awake, quote unquote awake because the claim is he's already awake. Like I don't think he get. He maybe could do this five times three times before she just gonna Come on, cut it out. Uh
[24:23] Keith: huh. Right. Like, that's a good point. Like,
[24:27] Keith: Yeah, because it's such a one sided, selfish
[24:30] Keith: engagement.
[24:30] Keith: I mean, I could see
[24:32] Mike: her being open to it
[25:00] Mike: occasionally, but it's just it's it's like this thing where, like eventually he's going to do it at the wrong time and she's gonna be like, Look, I have to wake up tomorrow morning early or whatever. I'm just not in the mood. I'm feeling like I I ate something bad. I have a stomach ache. I have diarrhea. Whatever it is, right there's gonna be something or like it's not the right move. And then, and the thing is that as soon as she does that, that's that. That's the real monster. Here is if if he could be, if he could, like, be slapped awake like that and then two nights later, just do it again.
[25:02] Mike: That's it. That's the real animal.
[25:09] Keith: Yeah, like okay, my suspicion of what's going on in this particular case is this guy, like, just
[25:11] Keith: felt like,
[25:14] Keith: quickly having sex. And so he
[25:16] Keith: simulates
[25:18] Keith: sleep sex
[25:21] Keith: and doesn't.
[25:27] Keith: Yeah, he doesn't want to put the work in. He doesn't wanna put the time in two, have sex in a enough,
[25:38] Keith: you know, two sided way. So he's like, Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna pretend to be asleep. I'm gonna pull her into me and quickly have an orgasm. And then after, I'm going to apologize, but
[25:42] Keith: blame it on being asleep. But I think that's what happened here. What
[26:01] Mike: percentage of the time for you would you say? And you could maybe say this from a longer term relationship. You could either way or just sort of dating. What percent the time do you think You sort of do your scented candle move and actually like, focus on both people. Really enjoying it versus just
[26:10] Mike: do the moral equivalent of what these guys doing but not with the sleep are like where the woman's, you know, like, Okay, you know, this is just for Keith this time, Like, would you say that half the time you dio
[26:14] Keith: Sorry. Where are we in the relationship here.
[26:19] Keith: Okay, so that you're going You start seeing somebody. Have we? Have we been together for a long time?
[26:25] Mike: I allowed for that. Like I mean, maybe you could give the answer for both. Like where you where you've you know, you're in the first month versus
[26:35] Keith: E. Well, I think generally, early on in relationships, people are on pretty good behavior. They're pretty attentive to their partners needs.
[26:36] Keith: And then you
[26:38] Mike: would never do this early on.
[26:44] Keith: I mean, I don't know if I would say never, I would be disinclined Thio. Okay. And when I say
[26:46] Mike: this, I don't mean sex Omni. I just mean
[26:57] Keith: sure, like some sort of lazy I'm sort of lazy, less less, uh, less sensitive to the other person's needs. So, I mean,
[27:04] Mike: the people on people might call that a quickie, although, to be fair, like, that's what a quickie really is. Is the guy getting whatever the woman might
[27:15] Keith: enjoy spirit? This is a quickie, right? Like it za sexual engagement where the man is just like, Look, I want a nut and I am not really that interested in
[27:19] Keith: getting you to my level before that happens. Okay,
[27:25] Mike: so I wanna I wanna I wanna hear what you're What's what's your in a relationship frequency?
[27:25] Mike: It's
[27:26] Keith: been a while.
[27:28] Keith: Um,
[27:35] Keith: do you remember? I don't think it's that often. I don't I think I'm I think I personally
[27:38] Keith: and sort of
[27:40] Keith: insecure about
[27:44] Keith: receiving sexual pleasure in a in a selfish way,
[27:47] Mike: man. Man, straight out of the 19 seventies.
[27:56] Keith: No, this is this is like, Yeah, this is like one of the reasons why I don't like blowjobs. Is that, like, I feel like there's this, like, pleasure, asymmetry, and it makes me feel sort of insecure. And that's
[28:07] Mike: not what Ali Ali said. She had a She had a different theory on that, you know? Okay, I'm ready. She texted me out show. Okay? She thought it might. Because Ali is a one of our most dedicated listeners are female
[28:11] Keith: guest last week. She does the entire, um, the cannon.
[28:15] Mike: It's true. And she said she thought it might have more to do with your Penis size.
[28:18] Keith: Oh, interesting.
[28:22] Keith: Yeah. I'm so worried that I'm inflicting damage to my partners. Whose throats?
[28:25] Mike: Nice. No, No.
[28:33] Mike: Yeah, but that's clever. That's clever, but no. Okay, so it's not your you're going to say it's and you're gonna argue against that? Yes, definitely. I don't think it's that either, to be fair.
[28:38] Mike: Um, so, but Okay. So the guy in this situation in this in this, uh,
[28:50] Mike: in this sex Omnia situate. But in this situation with a quickie, like, how would your decision making work between that and just sort of getting out of bed and just going and beating off? That's probably what you would do, right? You'd be like, I don't wanna, like, do a quickie
[28:59] Keith: in a longer term relationship. Yes. Okay. So if I felt like some compelling pressing need to have an orgasm, Yes. Uh,
[29:00] Keith: yeah,
[29:23] Mike: my argument would be typically like, because I, uh, differ from I think you but other guys I've talked to about like, you know, with a partner of the intensity is gonna be higher, so you might sort of go for that. But if the intensity is around the same, then you might be like, Look, I'm gonna get basically the same experience in the bathroom here, impregnating the shower or whatever. Eso bathmat Yeah, yeah.
[29:26] Mike: I don't know if you keep sleeping bag in the bathroom.
[29:33] Keith: E one in every room of the house is true. Um,
[29:47] Mike: but that being said, I've read. I mean, I want you to answer, but that being said, I've read, uh, women on sex of are complaining bitterly about their about basically catching their boyfriend or husband sneaking away to the bathroom to beat off.
[29:50] Mike: It's like, What do you damned if you do, Damned if you don't, right?
[29:52] Keith: Yeah. I mean,
[30:08] Keith: well, there's a few things tangled up in that, right. Like women often don't like the thought of their man fantasizing about someone else. So especially if they're watching porn, that could get them upset. But yeah, like, let's let's assume it's a situation of like, Yeah, it's the middle of the night. It's three AM and, like,
[30:13] Keith: I don't wanna wake my partner up. So I go to the bathroom and I'm just sort of awkwardly,
[30:15] Keith: you know,
[30:23] Keith: hunched over over the sink. And, yeah, I mean, that's probably not the greatest thing to walk in on, but
[30:27] Keith: in many ways, in many ways, it's a selfless act,
[30:32] Mike: right? That's the point. Your your your your your your your like Look, it was this or be a sex som niac
[30:42] Keith: Yeah, this Or make up some bs about forgetting Thio Use you as What did Eric call it? A come dumpster?
[30:52] Mike: Oh my Lord, that's that's dirty talk. That's dirty talk. Okay, there's But there's like there's there's one other thing I want to mention, which is that there is a male of
[31:05] Mike: there's an opposite version of this. Maybe not exactly opposite, but there's a fetish that some men and women have. Which is that the man for the man to initiate sex with the woman while she's sleeping and for her to like, You see this on the sex suburb. Actually, a lot of times it's the girl.
[31:12] Keith: Well, it's their constantly because there's issues of consent, and so it gets lots of votes.
[31:14] Keith: I see regardless, but
[31:18] Mike: I get the impression that there are women who find this hot
[31:20] Mike: like it's some kind of ah violation.
[31:28] Keith: What is this? Is this when the man starts initiating sex with them while they're sleeping or when the woman even sleeping?
[31:31] Mike: No, the former or even the man initiates,
[31:35] Mike: does the act and completes while she's asleep, or at least purporting to be asleep. That's
[31:39] Keith: not That's another thing that I don't think it's possible.
[31:50] Keith: Like I'm not a woman. I don't know if, uh, I suppose I could, like abstract. We imagine that it's possible to have a man put his Penis inside of me and not wake up. But I doubt it. I strongly doubt
[31:55] Mike: you think. Let's just using the parts you have. Do you think that you could do that if it was Uranus being penetrated?
[31:59] Keith: No, There is no way I would sleep through. My aunt is getting penetrated.
[32:02] Keith: You're sure of that? Yes.
[32:23] Keith: You're gonna be like, Well, Keith, do you remember 10 years ago now it's like the what Geraldo show reveal? Or was it Geraldo? Or do is the Jerry Springer thing where they like? But did you know that? Um, yeah. No, I'm positive that I did not have be penetrated anally without waking up. Do you safely
[32:32] Mike: scratch that off my list of felonies I might be prosecuted for in the future? You feel like you know, of course. Of course. No, I don't. I'm
[32:37] Mike: There's things that I'll sleep through. I'm like a reasonably heavy sleeper. But no. I mean, if, like somebody comes up and
[32:40] Mike: starts interacting with me in any sort of
[32:50] Mike: place that's not usually touched, I'm gonna wake up immediately and yeah, I just like, Yes, the whole thing is a little hard to believe in that sense. Three only thing with this x Omnia And maybe this so female
[32:55] Mike: thing about being penetrated while asleep is maybe it's like sleepwalking. So I don't know.
[33:03] Keith: I don't think this is totally not a thing. I just think that the parameters around the description of this episode are awfully convenient,
[33:08] Mike: Although I think it shows a lack of foresight because how often is gonna able to do that?
[33:11] Keith: Yeah, that's true. If he is trying to,
[33:16] Keith: you know, Trojan horse selfish sex, this is This is a little ham fisted
[33:24] Mike: right, and there's no way there's no way he's gonna get a blow this way. No way. He'll do a blow to stick his Penis in her mouth without
[33:29] Keith: oh, I can imagine this. I mean, this guy is such a moron. He could say something like, Oh,
[33:42] Keith: sometimes when I'm in a sex comedy episode, I'll put my right hand on my left shoulder. And that normally means that I want you to blow me on. She's like, Oh, okay, okay. He's like the It's like the
[33:46] Mike: incredible Hulk. He, like, wakes up, and suddenly he's green, and he needs lots of anal.
[33:49] Keith: Right?
[33:56] Keith: Right, Right. Okay. All right, let's move on.
[33:59] Keith: Mm.
[34:02] Keith: Trying to figure out. Okay, I'm going to do this, Uh,
[34:05] Keith: this person asking about working out their pussy.
[34:09] Keith: So this person says, is pussy exercise a kink?
[34:20] Keith: She says I'm really into the idea of exercising my pussy. I've done a lot of research into different ways to work out a pussy like Kegels. Palm poire. I don't know what that is. Do you know what that is?
[34:27] Mike: P O M P O I r. Yes. Pump is push ups in French, but pump water I don't know.
[34:32] Keith: It's like a competition. You are. It's like it's like night night pushes.
[34:50] Keith: We'll push up, okay. Distracted into the origins of this word. Certain exercises and equipment, like kegel balls. I've done it all, and I think it might be a kink for me. Very turned on by the idea of working out my pussy having the strongest pussy that's able to do all kinds of things. She should move to Thailand
[35:02] Keith: and the idea of someone telling me toe, work it out and make my pussy strong and tight and went for them. Do these kinds of exercises all the time and fantasize about someone telling me to do them and making me and enjoying it afterwards.
[35:04] Keith: Is this a kink?
[35:11] Mike: This sounds like a cam girl trying to get men to direct message her so she could tell them what show to go watch.
[35:13] Keith: Uh huh,
[35:17] Keith: it. This does feel a little. There's there's There's some
[35:19] Keith: to some whiffs of
[35:24] Keith: being misled here, so Okay, well, first off,
[35:32] Keith: let's talk about yeah, let's talk about like pussy tightness and whether that could be materially affected by
[35:34] Keith: doing exercises.
[35:38] Keith: I do know that, you know, in certain communities in L. A.
[35:43] Keith: There are I think there are even classes you could go to that
[35:46] Keith: people especially do after they've had a child,
[35:53] Keith: and, uh, they could also get reconstruction surgery. But that's that's sort of a different thing. We're talking about internal tightness.
[35:59] Keith: Ah, does do those work. Do you have? I mean, I don't think either of us have any
[36:02] Keith: personal experience with this?
[36:14] Mike: No. I mean, yeah, I don't I mean, like you. I mean, you could, of course, have, like, some actual damage, like from pregnancy or something that, like, separates the muscles or somehow, like, makes it. Yeah,
[36:25] Mike: but like that would have. I mean, I think that my impression is that, like, the bigger impact that has is like, it makes you incontinent, Which, of course, might be good for some guys. Because then you start squirting,
[36:37] Mike: because again stop peeing. But I think that's like a much bigger problem. You know, if you're showing that practical problems like it's the same musculature, right? I mean, you can't be muscle that you use for a man. Even when you
[36:43] Mike: shoot, your load is literally the same muscle used to stop being right. Mhm.
[36:44] Mike: So,
[36:49] Mike: yeah. I mean, like, so that's sort of a problem. If that muscle gets messed up, that's the tightening muscle.
[37:02] Mike: You're gonna You're not going toe. What? You're gonna be incontinent. Um, so I'm sure. Yes. So the point is like, Can you can you can a woman who's incontinent improve it through exercise? Yeah, I think the answer is yes. So there's like something. You could do that right?
[37:06] Keith: Does it materially change the way it feels for her partner?
[37:07] Mike: Di? I don't know.
[37:10] Mike: I mean, it seems unlikely that it would do that much because it's like,
[37:17] Mike: Look, their bodies were designed to allow a baby to pass out of there. And, like, if something got that tight, I mean,
[37:25] Mike: yeah, it would just be it would make it even worse, you know, harder to do that. So, like there's some limit, I think, on the amount of tightness possible
[37:34] Keith: that feels that feels right. Although is it vaginal Assis is that when people are so tight often because they've had maybe some sort of trauma
[37:43] Keith: And then there's like, you know, you can imagine is mus okay? You could buy dilate er's toe like slowly over time
[37:46] Keith: re dilate your vaginal canal.
[37:47] Keith: Uh, but that's I think that has to
[37:52] Mike: do with, like where they can't they can't relax,
[37:53] Mike: right
[37:54] Keith: well,
[38:03] Keith: but that's the muscles being constricted. So if the muscles bigger because you've been working it out right, like, are these things like, at least in the same neighborhoods?
[38:13] Mike: No, it's an interesting point, actually, like you say, like people would say, Oh, well, you it's like it's what's going on here. I think it's like the, um in both. In both situations, the,
[38:36] Mike: um, prescriptions that are being being given to women are to make um, you know, they're trying to be gentle with the woman to make them feel better. So it's like on the one case you say, Oh, you have this problem because you're really stressed out. And so you're really tight. You're clenching your muscles, Okay, but then on the other side, you'll have a woman who's like, Hey, I wanna be tighter and they'll be like, Oh, sorry, there's nothing you could do And it's like, Well, wait a minute. You just told that other woman that there was something she was doing that made her so tight that you couldn't put anything in there.
[38:41] Mike: And so there's obviously some something wrong with those those Those two things can't both be true, right?
[38:42] Keith: Right?
[38:48] Keith: I don't know. I bet all of this kind of stuff is actually mostly
[38:50] Keith: bunk science. Like
[38:58] Keith: I believe. I believe that people can get very nervous because of previous trauma and not really be able to
[39:01] Keith: relax enough to have sex but
[39:10] Keith: moving, like making making yourself materially tighter by doing work outside. I bet that's not
[39:11] Keith: a thing. Well,
[39:13] Mike: there might be something where you move,
[39:21] Mike: you shift the control of the muscles from the subconscious to the conscious. So, like, you start, yeah, you gain more control,
[39:25] Mike: and that allows you to be tighter. Um,
[39:31] Mike: but yeah, in terms of like, can you actually build up the muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger? That seems like a little
[39:33] Mike: Mawr suspect, right?
[39:39] Mike: How much? How tight help, how powerful can. And those muscles are probably pretty strong to begin with.
[39:53] Mike: But there's, you know, I don't I don't think it's like a man's biceps or something. I mean, an interesting question would be, you know, they're those famously there's like female wrestlers that took steroids, and you'll see they have, like, a really huge clit because it, like, starts to become more Penis. Like,
[39:56] Keith: I wonder if, like everything is swollen down there.
[40:00] Mike: Well, I was just thinking it would enable them to gain more muscle mass, right.
[40:08] Mike: Um and so, yeah. I mean, that might make some impact. I don't know I mean, our men's anuses stronger than women's anuses
[40:10] Mike: because, you know, men are bigger and stronger.
[40:17] Keith: I'm sure they are. I mean, I think, like most men's muscles or, you know, whatever 30% stronger than women's wants on. Ever
[40:25] Mike: sure this has not been research, though? I mean, you have to, like, stick something up there. That, like, has some sort of meter to check how much force you're generating by constricting.
[40:29] Mike: Yeah, be tough. Tough to get volunteers for that study.
[40:31] Keith: Yeah.
[40:34] Keith: Yeah. Okay, let's move on this one.
[41:02] Keith: Well, okay, I She's a 16 year old female feel sexually attracted to older men, and it makes me feel ashamed of myself. I fully understand that it's wrong on so many levels, but I can't do anything about it. I'm sexually attracted to men who are 2 to 3 decades decades older than I am. Girls my age talk about Ticktock boys and South Korean boy bands. But I can't stop fantasizing of older men. For example, my neighbor teacher etcetera, I don't know how to get rid of this attraction. Please help me.
[41:11] Keith: Jeez. Yeah, it gets a little darker after that. I'm going to skip that s o setting aside the to 16. Let's say this person's 22 she likes men in their mid fifties.
[41:15] Keith: What are the limits on that?
[41:19] Mike: Isn't a double plus seven or half half your age plus seven? Yeah,
[41:22] Keith: that's That's the well that's
[41:29] Keith: supposedly, if you're if you're dating somebody who's less than half your age minus seven, that's Ah,
[41:30] Keith: not
[41:32] Keith: acceptable.
[41:33] Keith: So
[41:36] Keith: but why? Okay,
[41:43] Keith: obviously, younger men don't feel this way, right? So, like 22 year old men are almost never attracted to women in their fifties,
[41:46] Keith: Um,
[42:04] Keith: or there forties or really even their thirties, right? And so, like, what are the limits for women? So and my guess is like there's something about older men seeming like more experienced and more capable. That is attractive to her.
[42:07] Keith: But at what point does there
[42:10] Keith: decreased sexual currency
[42:14] Keith: overwhelm those increases in capability
[42:23] Keith: like, is it 55? Is it 60? It's like, Is it possible for an 80 year old man to be attractive to a woman that young? I think it is.
[42:26] Mike: You have to ask Anna Nicole Smith,
[42:34] Mike: right, famously married a 90 year old. I mean, obviously that was more financially motivated or at least appeared to be,
[42:45] Mike: Um, I mean, this is like I'm not a you know, it's not. I'm not a psychiatrist or someone who studies these things. But my general impression is that, like this kind of
[43:02] Mike: typically this, this sort of like going, being interested in older guys frequently relates to something that happened to the young woman in her life that, like, makes relationships more difficult or something. Maybe some sort of trauma or abuse or something. I mean, that Zatz often my impression of that. I mean,
[43:18] Mike: like, just a really basic matter. Like if you assume that a large proportion, not everybody but a large proportion of women are interested in sort of settling down with the guy and having a family and stuff like that like it's much more challenging. If the guy if you're just starting off with the 25 or 30 year age gap, right?
[43:22] Mike: I mean, it's just not it's obviously gonna make that harder. And so
[43:29] Mike: there must be something that overcomes that or something that makes actually the impossibility of that compelling.
[43:37] Keith: Why would sexual trauma from an older man make you later attracted to other older men.
[43:43] Mike: E. I have no idea what it's just my my impression from,
[43:46] Mike: you know, many different conversations and sort of
[43:50] Mike: with women, as well as finding out about women from other men
[44:03] Mike: that air that have this sort of type of proclivity. I get the impression that there's there's usually something behind it, like there's some reason why the main thing that I've experienced is that, like that I've thought about this Is that like it seems to like,
[44:09] Mike: repress or suppress, like the the more like, nurturing instincts that the woman has?
[44:16] Mike: And so then they may be become a little more pleasure seeking a little more like a man like it's just harder like they just aren't Yeah, maybe, Maybe, like the
[44:26] Mike: maybe like the nurturing aspect of women is a little bit of a higher functioning in their brain. That just gets harder to dio. When you've had various difficult experiences that that's just been like a thought, I've I've had before about it.
[44:32] Keith: That's interesting. I wonder if if if men and boys who get sexually abused
[44:37] Keith: prefer older women wonder if yeah,
[44:38] Keith: that's
[44:41] Mike: not yeah. I mean, well, the thing about that is that
[44:43] Keith: much sample size and sort of
[44:56] Mike: most abuse most sexual abuse of a boy is gonna be by a man, right? And so then it's like, What does that do to make you more be like sexual? Or, I mean, it's a It's really unclear to me what that would dio,
[44:58] Mike: but yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean
[45:30] Mike: male. In some ways, I think male sexual behavior is just sort of simpler than female, right? It's like men are just trying to have sex, whereas women are trying to do this sort of complicated thing of both enjoy themselves and have sex, but also, like tryto build something right there trying to like in most cases, not in all cases. But in most cases there's like this. I kind of hope for a relationship that lasts a long time or longer time and like that's just more complicated, right? And so it's like it's easier for me to see how, like some something that disruptive that happen in your life basically makes it hard to do that complicated thing. Where is the good thing a guy is trying to do is so simple.
[45:43] Mike: It's like, you know, it's just a little hard to disrupt it. I mean, it's like, yeah, he's still just gonna have sex. Although, yeah, maybe maybe a man would have difficulty performing or intimacy or whatever that might be. He might just be kind of a sexual or something. I
[45:45] Keith: don't know.
[46:11] Keith: Okay, let's move on to something more fun. Uh, this person says my girlfriend sent is turning me off. I've dated this amazing gal for a few years. Sweet, compassionate, overall, genuine gal. Uh, foreshadowing already way took a break for a while. We got back together during our time. Dating previously. The sex was amazing and intimate. I am a very intimate individual, and so is she.
[46:15] Keith: However, since we got back together, her scent has changed drastically.
[46:29] Keith: It never smelt quote unquote off before in those past years, I know vaginas or self cleaning. So I didn't put much thought into it. That's where it almost a year, and it still smells off. So they they were apart for a while. And now they've been back together for a year.
[46:43] Keith: Yeah, I gotta capitalized a year. Okay. I told her about it in the most kind and caring way possible. No, it could. It could possibly be BV or a yeast infection. What's What's BV?
[47:17] Keith: It's bacterial something, you know, sister. Yeah. So she went to the O begin and had a thorough testing gun. Everything came back normal, so I'm a bit confused. I'm so turned off the smell. I don't want to have sex anymore. I love giving Orel and love being intimate. This guy loves the word intimate, and I know she does too. But I'm so turned off and dry that the smell. I don't know what to do at this point. How good It suddenly changed from sweet for years. Toe unbearable. Feel bad even boasting this.
[47:20] Keith: All right, What's the diagnosis, Dr Michael? I
[47:46] Mike: mean, like, it's I mean, keep in mind like he's already, basically. I mean, what's he's asking on Reddit? It's like you Look, you already went to a doctor. You already said to her this, like, pretty difficult thing to say. You're like, hey, smell nasty? Um, she went and you know, they tried and like the you know, presumably did some cultures or whatever. The thing that I'm thinking, the thing that I'm thinking is that having sex with another man
[47:49] Mike: with that.
[47:51] Mike: How would that affect the scent?
[47:57] Mike: Well, because you're because Because like when you jam and jam semen in there like it changes the pH.
[48:00] Mike: That's what I'm thinking. Oh, boy.
[48:10] Mike: Yeah. And so it's just like, yeah, there's this ongoing thing. It's like, Oh, why did it start? I don't know. Why did it start when we were on a break?
[48:11] Mike: Yeah.
[48:15] Keith: Oh, that's brutal. Yeah, I didn't go there at all. Like, I
[48:15] Keith: I mean, it could
[48:20] Mike: just be some sort of, like, natural fluctuation of hormones or something like that, but yeah, like,
[48:28] Mike: yeah, of course. You need more information. Maybe they went on a trip to somewhere where there can't possibly have been the other guy. Maybe she started escorting on the side.
[48:35] Keith: It could be I was thinking about this the other day. There are differences in the way that people taste,
[48:41] Keith: but I don't think I can remember any specifics about any of my partners. Like,
[48:53] Keith: you know, when I when I taste a new person, I might be like, Oh, yeah, this is different. But I like naming actual specifics of sort of tricky. So maybe there actually isn't that much difference.
[48:59] Mike: I don't think there's that much difference. Although I have to say that the word they use of the word I prefer the word smell the taste
[49:04] Mike: like, Oh, man, is there really a taste? It's mostly a smell, I think. Although those air mixed. So
[49:11] Keith: is there a word in English for? Yeah, the combined taste and smell? The Eminence. Trudy's?
[49:13] Keith: Yeah.
[49:14] Keith: I don't know.
[49:19] Keith: Yeah, I dated a girl once. Who?
[49:21] Keith: Uh,
[49:24] Keith: yeah. Okay. I'm doing this. Uh,
[49:26] Keith: she had a dog, and
[49:31] Keith: I was pretty sure that the that the sort of
[49:35] Keith: strange odor was her dog. But
[49:42] Keith: she came over to my house once, and yeah, long story short, it wasn't the dog.
[49:44] Mike: So it was your saying that it was like pervading the house.
[49:46] Keith: Yeah.
[49:48] Keith: It waas Yeah.
[49:51] Keith: And like, Gosh, I mean, this is
[49:52] Keith: okay.
[49:55] Keith: Sometimes
[49:56] Keith: when
[50:02] Keith: I know how somebody you want me, you want me to use the word smell when I know how somebody smells? Yeah,
[50:05] Mike: Taste is Thio. It's too rough, man.
[50:09] Keith: Okay. It's okay. When? When they're turned on, I can
[50:12] Keith: sometimes detected
[50:14] Keith: all factory Lee.
[50:16] Mike: Yeah, even with their clothes on.
[50:19] Keith: Yes. Interesting.
[50:20] Keith: Uh,
[50:22] Keith: and so
[50:34] Keith: Yeah, maybe. Maybe, is this case that this person was always so turned on, but yeah. I mean, I don't remember if it, like, always bothered me. It's just Yeah, I was trying to figure out what it was, and I just assumed that it was her dog. But it wasn't
[50:38] Mike: telling women that you can smell them like that is just a nightmare for women. Like that's
[50:43] Keith: not I would never bring this up with the person that would make them insanely insecure. You're
[50:46] Mike: telling them the world here. I mean, like, this is the kind of thing where if a woman,
[50:48] Keith: I mean, it could be anyone with a dog.
[50:53] Mike: No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying the dog thing. I'm saying, like, the notion that, like,
[50:57] Mike: Okay, well, let me dig into this a little bit. So if you're in a bar with a woman just
[51:00] Keith: like talking about this, yeah, let's get into this. Go ahead. Can
[51:02] Mike: do you think you can smell it
[51:04] Mike: like their arousal?
[51:20] Keith: It's tricky because, you know, some of it could be almost like wishful thinking. And I'm and I'm hoping I'm hoping to smell it right and thes things could be subtle, you know? I don't know. I don't know how many, like smell parts per million. I need for my nose to be able to detect it.
[51:26] Keith: But I would I would say yes. Yes, I think I can. Or have
[51:29] Keith: a non zero number of times in the past. Been ableto like
[51:32] Keith: pick up in a bar when my partner is aroused.
[51:35] Mike: When your partner. So it was somebody that you're with? Not
[51:42] Keith: like No, I don't think I could notice this on a random third person,
[51:45] Keith: huh? Like you have to be like,
[51:47] Keith: sensitized to the particulars.
[51:48] Keith: I would
[51:53] Mike: think that it would have to be something like it got on her hand or something, but it couldn't just be that actually wafting up from her cry,
[51:56] Keith: I guess if she's wearing a skirt, the snail trail theme,
[51:59] Mike: the odor, right? Yeah,
[52:04] Mike: maybe. I mean, maybe that's possible. I can't. Yeah, but I don't know if I'm fine. Maybe
[52:08] Keith: they have, like, a wedgie that they adjust, and then it's sort of
[52:09] Keith: Well, this is interesting
[52:17] Mike: to me because ordinarily, like this is an area where I always feel like men or disadvantage, which is like this. You know, it's like
[52:30] Mike: if you were in if you were naked and you went into a situation where there were a bunch of very attractive naked women like you would immediately presumably. Ah, young enough man would get an erection immediately. Probably all men would yes.
[52:36] Mike: Now, that's sort of a disadvantage, because there's this visual clue. It's kind of embarrassing, like they have something over on you. Uh,
[52:43] Keith: well, you've set up a preposterous situation here, but yes, there are. There are times when, like a man's arousal is obvious. And it's not
[53:00] Mike: totally. I mean, for example, I was at a beach in the south of France and there was rough life, like top, topless, topless beach, like they all are there, and for the most part, like the people with their tops off our women that you don't want to see what their tops off. But there was a couple of girls there that you would want to see.
[53:06] Mike: That's that. Sorry. Yes, they were. They were over 18. 22 story. That's right.
[53:22] Mike: Good. Yeah. You're using the word girl. Colloquial e s. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, you know, that's the kind of situation where, like you might pop a boner. A zit were on. That might be embarrassing, so but it and it is a realistic situation. You
[53:29] Keith: also understand there's no analogy for women unless what I'm saying, Yeah, like like you're wondering if there's like What you're
[53:33] Mike: saying is actually much worse because it's like, at least if you're wearing
[53:36] Mike: whatever something covering your pelvis is a
[53:38] Keith: man, you're not getting the air.
[54:02] Mike: Well, you're not like Look, I mean, like, there's this meme that people have of guys like pitching a tent. That's not really right, because you can direct your Penis down your leg, like to the side of the things up in your waistband. There things you could do where it's not gonna be visible. But yeah, I mean, if there's an odor that you're out putting, I mean, my goodness, like that's actually well, I mean, you could wear perfume. That's what. Your only choice, right? I
[54:12] Keith: don't think there's anything for anyone to worry about here, By the way, I think Don't worry, I think it would be detectable through perfume. It's such a unique,
[54:14] Keith: unusual
[54:17] Keith: sent right like it's not
[54:24] Keith: okay. So, for starters, I mean, obviously, we agree there is a scent, right? Like so, like, if you were to go into,
[54:40] Keith: you know, a room where two people have just had sex, like it's just it's obvious there's an odor, and it's, you know, someone would be there could be Yes. Okay, there may not. Yeah, there is gonna Look, if this is, like, not a covitz safe room, right? Like, there's not much ventilation like there's gonna be
[54:44] Mike: I just haven't done it enough times. Thio. No, to be honest, but I believe you.
[54:52] Keith: Sure. Some some X out of 10 chances where? Like access between six and nine. Right? Like Z. Uh, all right, So then,
[54:53] Keith: um
[55:03] Keith: yeah. So then you start like, walking it back like, well, you know, like, slowly the room is get exaggerated with with With With Sent by something. And,
[55:25] Keith: uh, yeah. Can that happen? Like out in the wild when clothed and and and so forth? I think the answer is yeah, kind of. Sometimes it's a little bit unusual, like the conditions need to be right. You know that the humidity and three airflow and that and that kind of stuff. But generally I think it's occasionally detectable when somebody I know is aroused near me.
[55:27] Mike: Do you think that?
[55:48] Mike: So when you say that there it would be detectable in a room. You the it is thief email sent mhm. So that so? That means that if two men say there was no anal involved, But there was two men either giving each other hand jobs or blow jobs or whatever having gay sex, but not anal, because that is a whole separate ball of wax There. You think that would be undetectable then?
[55:56] Mike: Like if you walked into a room, I gave you three rooms, like small rooms that were not well ventilated. In 12 gay guys gave each other blows for, like, an hour.
[56:01] Mike: You know, 30 minutes ago you would not be able to tell me which room that happened in.
[56:02] Keith: Oh,
[56:10] Keith: Uh huh. Okay. Is it reasonably temperature controlled? Sure. It's like I mean, are the Are the men sweating?
[56:12] Mike: Oh, come on. I mean, no, we're looking for sexual Second, we're
[56:15] Keith: talking. Yeah, we're talking about like since coming from below the waist, all
[56:19] Mike: three rooms. There was a man who did some push ups.
[56:27] Keith: Yeah, Yeah. Okay, Alright. We're removing. We're controlling for for body odor. And I even
[56:30] Mike: give you, um or like so it's not Let's, let's say, because I
[56:30] Keith: think the
[56:38] Mike: answer is gonna be No. If it's, like, purely internal meaning if, like, a guy gets a blow and there's no semen leakage. But let's say there is. Let's say some semen winds up,
[56:44] Mike: you know, somewhere in the room. Do you think you could smell that?
[56:47] Keith: The semen? Yeah. Uh,
[56:53] Keith: if you like her medically, like we've been through this, I don't like semen, so I don't
[57:00] Keith: I haven't expired. Like, Okay, when I orgasm, I want the semen gone
[57:19] Keith: like I don't want I don't want it in sight. Right. So, like, when I masturbate by myself, use paper towels and that I discard them like I don't keep them around and, like, let the scent like, fill the room s So I don't I think the reason why I mentioned this is I think I know less about how semen smells from, like, the average bear. And so
[57:57] Keith: So you just you don't know? My answer is I don't know, with with intuition toward No, I don't think it's it smells that much bond like, just like specifically address like your situation. Like if you have a room where, like there's two men having Orel ah man and a woman having Orel and two women having Orel, I think the room with one woman will smell stronger than the one with two men. And the one in the room with two women will smell stronger still than the one with one woman. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm like, on the face. That sounds like weirdly, I don't know if anti feminist is the word, but it sounds like sort of shaming or something, but I think that's I think, that
[58:02] Keith: e think that women give off mawr down there or odor when aroused than dio.
[58:19] Mike: ITT's completely logical. Why, that would be, I mean, for obvious reasons, right, Like assuming that everybody is clean. I mean, like, if, but yeah, I mean, in the recent, the obvious reason is that the woman is producing the lubrication, not the guy, and that's what you're smelling. So it's like, well, there. So the only thing that gives me a doubt that I just genuinely don't know is like
[58:24] Mike: you know. Yeah, Let's say the guy, you know, ejaculated into
[58:27] Mike: a towel and then put the towel on the ground. Like, would that smell
[58:33] Mike: you know, say an hour later or half an hour later In a characteristic enough way that that would sort of be equivalent. I actually I actually don't know the answer either.
[58:40] Keith: I don't think it's equivalent, I think. I mean, look, it smells a little bit like chlorine or something, right? Yeah.
[58:45] Keith: Bleach. You good? Uh,
[58:47] Keith: yeah. I mean, it smells a little.
[58:48] Keith: Yeah, I think. What
[58:52] Mike: did you say? Your your your your your feeling better about how your smells or you're saying, like,
[59:01] Keith: What if it wasn't? What if you were like chlorine? No. It's supposed to smell like mustard, or I don't know, some other quickly lead everything. Like I don't know
[59:16] Mike: how to cool. Uh, yeah, but of course. But but in most, the thing about it is that in many in many situations, the semen is like caught in something, whether it's a condom, uh, vagina mouth. And so it's like you're then I think you actually have very little uneasiness.
[59:18] Mike: Very little sent left behind by the guy.
[59:29] Keith: Hold on, though. I mean, if it's if it's spread out so that it covers a lot of surface area, it could, like, evaporate more quickly and fill the air space around it more quickly.
[59:43] Mike: That's true. That's true. But it would. It would have to be like, sprayed all over the place, which, although in porn like you, I see a surprising number of porn's were like that. The seaman's just sprayed all over the room, and you're like, I don't even know What is that considered good?
[60:04] Keith: I don't know. It needs to be local to your nose. So, like if you're with a woman and you jerk off on her chest and then you know I don't know she performative Lee, sort of like, rubs it over her chest and stomach, right? So there's like a you know, two square foot area of a thin layer of semen that would evaporate quickly enough that you could imagine it filling the air space around.
[60:11] Mike: Yes, and it would have been it would have a note, of course. Importantly, I don't think there's any man who wants that,
[60:16] Mike: because importantly, once the man ejaculate, it's he wants that stuff gone and it's it's not.
[60:18] Mike: The woman needs to know that it's not hot anymore. It's just kind
[60:22] Keith: of, I think, I think in, like the immediate moment after it's like,
[60:38] Keith: mildly attractive. But then, like but then, like very shortly after that, it's like, uh, it's so I don't really want to touch her because now, like getting like my stickiness on myself, and that's just not a thing what I want. Okay, let's wrap up with this
[60:41] Keith: conversation about
[60:46] Keith: Espersen says, Serious. What led to the most intense orgasm of your life?
[60:55] Keith: And then there's this big warning about what the serious tag means. Um, but I mean, there's so many. So this had 25,000 up votes?
[61:18] Keith: Wow, I guess that lots of responses, Um, so I said, Yeah, let's just let's go through a few of them because they're sort of amusing. Okay, so this guy says Ex girlfriend blew me, and after I came, she gently kept sucking. I had what I can on Lee describes multiple orgasms. I don't think I actually ejaculated anything, but the sensation was the same, but more powerful each time I to stop her because I was about to pass out.
[61:26] Keith: She had done that in the past, and she did it after. But that one time was the only time that happened was the most pleasure I've ever felt.
[61:32] Keith: I don't I can't relate to this. That does not happen to me. I don't like
[61:36] Keith: like when I'm done with my orgasm. I don't really want
[61:39] Keith: someone still messing around down there.
[61:54] Mike: Yeah, I know. I mean, the the only way it's the only emotion I have about that is it's a little bit of like a B d S M thing where you're like, they're doing this thing that no one wants. So it's like you're sort of abusing them by making them, you know, that I could sort of see a little, but there's no sexual component. It's just purely like being mean to a person. I
[61:59] Keith: mean, it's it's best ever orgasm experience, which, you know,
[62:04] Mike: it sounds honestly, that sounds like a kid who doesn't know what he's talking about or something.
[62:08] Mike: Okay, almost part. I'm not I'm not. I'm not believing that either,
[62:18] Keith: and that had 25,000 votes. This one has 19,000 votes this in in short and sweet few months of not doing anything sexual, that one moment was so satisfying.
[62:25] Keith: So let's say you go four months without having an orgasm. I can't imagine Like
[62:36] Keith: what my life experience would be like in that state, but okay. All right. So I'm now having an orgasm. I masturbated for seven seconds. That's how long it took. And
[62:39] Keith: I don't know if he would, uh,
[62:41] Keith: would that be?
[62:50] Keith: I don't. It would be satisfying toe like, have it be done. But I'm not sure it would be, like, materially
[62:55] Keith: that much more intense than some other thing. I don't know what your intuition there.
[62:55] Keith: Yeah.
[63:06] Mike: I mean, I think it's I I just don't know that that I mean, look, if you do it too often, there's something like whether the hormones get ill used or whatever. I'm not sure, but it definitely does not feel is good.
[63:16] Mike: Four months versus four days. I'm not sure that makes much of a difference. And the other thing I would say The other thing I've had is an experience is like when you wait more than a certain amount of time.
[63:19] Mike: I've had this experience where it's like
[63:23] Mike: the actual quantity of semen that's built up actually makes it kind of uncomfortable to come
[63:30] Mike: a little bit like it's like there's just your your body is like, Look, I got to get all this out and it, like it's a little like throwing up or something like Uh,
[63:36] Keith: yeah, there's like too much. Yeah, I think you like. Ask them topically approach some
[63:44] Keith: maximum, and after the between four days and four months, you go from like 98% to 99.5. But it's not, You know, that's like a tiny
[63:56] Mike: but important but importantly. I think like the quality of the experience might be maximized it like two days or something like And when you get TOE Week like it actually goes down because it's like e don't know
[63:56] Mike: No,
[64:11] Keith: that's my twitches got okay. This'll, person says, had a lot of sexual tension. This one has 15,000 votes, had a lot of sexual tension with this girl for a while. Finally, we hooked up and had great sex. I finished once and we kept on going, just got better and better until boom finished again.
[64:16] Keith: Don't whatever. Anyway, I blacked out and came to
[64:31] Keith: about 20 seconds later, pissing blood out of both nostrils. She was panicking, thinking she'd literally shagged me to death after I told her I was OK. And we've got some tissues. So it was actually kind of hot. She'd never physically fucked a guy's brains out before.
[64:32] Keith: Um, the
[64:35] Mike: man who uses cocaine. Yeah.
[64:38] Keith: The number one response is bad for the mood. Good for the ego.
[64:42] Keith: Um, yeah. And then somebody says way more than fucking the shit out of somebody.
[64:44] Keith: Ah.
[64:47] Keith: So, uh,
[64:49] Keith: yeah, yeah, I bet
[65:05] Keith: he has. For whatever reason, Mike, it doesn't have to be cocaine compromised nasal tissue, right? And, uh, for some reason, he was able to finally hook up and just keep going and going that that, you know, that that could be cocaine. But, you know, like, that could be anything
[65:19] Mike: e could do that would pop blood vessels sort of in my head like that. I'd be really nervous. I wanna like, change my lifestyle a little to not have that be possible. Like, almost doesn't matter. You. Yeah, that's not good. Yeah, I mean,
[65:37] Keith: so I think I just outed himself. Okay, let's see here. Uh, this person says 13,000 votes, got tied up, blindfolded, edged. And then she carried on writing. After I came for, like, five minutes. I'm pretty certain I was dead for part of the post orgasm. Right? But fuck me. Did it feel incredible? Yeah. How come all these
[65:48] Mike: guys want the common theme Here is the Yeah, they all want stimulation after the orgasm, Which is not where these written by women. Were they written by, like, 12 year olds? Like I don't understand.
[65:57] Mike: It's just obviously wrong like this. It doesn't ring true at all. Like I don't I don't think I've ever met a man who was like, Oh, yeah, I just love is just a rubbing.
[66:03] Keith: Is this revealing or emasculating to say? Like, I don't think I could be written for five minutes after having an orgasm.
[66:15] Mike: It would get soft. I mean, unless unless you were sort of ready to go again like that could happen. But, like, yeah, I mean, no in the in, many cases like it just Yeah, it wouldn't be any fun because it would get soft and then get kind of, like crunched,
[66:18] Keith: right?
[66:21] Keith: Yeah, I don't.
[66:48] Keith: All right. Let's zoo another one. here. This'll one has 11,000 votes. I haven't read this one. So we're so we're doing this one blind Right before college. I hadn't come in around 10 days due to a summer trip with friends sharing the same sleeping area. I got back to my place and instantly fell asleep, dead tired when I woke up in the morning. My hands feet are warm and tingly. I sort of stretched out in bed like a cat. Got a sudden, very extreme pang of pleasure from deep inside me instinctively, I knew I was going to come.
[66:50] Keith: I mean, it's not like if
[67:08] Keith: strong instinct, like anyone could tell what they're gonna come. It was like that moment after passing the point of no return, but it just went on forever. It felt like minutes. Eventually, my whole body was pulsing and rhythm with my heart and alternating between hot and cold. It felt much more like what a female orgasm described as with the slow buildup in afterglow.
[67:18] Keith: It was different than any orgasm I've had before since even different than a prostate orgasm. It was like when stretching I somehow accidentally activated the orgasm. Nerve.
[67:19] Keith: Hmm.
[67:30] Mike: Yeah, I mean, these are all, like, kind of weird, uh, people who sound like, Yeah, that's there. They're doing little party tricks to their body. I think the normal answer to this is just the normal answer. This is like,
[67:39] Mike: yeah, I mean, like it or not, it's like women have better and better experiences as they get to know a guy better and better. And like the truth is, the guy's best orgasm probably is the first one with a new partner.
[67:48] Mike: That's probably like, actually, the truth here is like he's like, Yeah, like when you know, that's one reason why guys like toe sleep around is that they like increased intensity peak
[67:50] Keith: orgasm intensity is something around there?
[68:11] Mike: Yeah, it makes sense because, like, it's like if you think about like evolutionary strategies like it makes sense that your brain would reward you for like, basically impregnating or trying to impregnate a new woman like that's That's what you're supposed to dio on. So that also partly, I think, explains why If you hold off for a period of time and then go back to the same woman, it's better because your brain stupid,
[68:13] Mike: because maybe any woman.
[68:28] Keith: The cash is only so deep. Yeah. Okay, I'll read. I'm going to read one mawr here, maybe two. Alright. Thats one has 11,000 votes. I was on my first date with my dream girl. We went to see the Bobby with Brenton Fraser and set up in the corner. Have you seen that movie?
[68:53] Keith: No, it's no, Not great when we sat down, but this that dates this. This was like in the late nineties when we sat down and pulled the middle arm rest up. She pulled a blanket out of her person, covered it, grabbed my hand and pulled it right on her and put it right on her special place. Discovered she had hiked up her skirt. All right, so this woman brought ah blanket in her purse to the movie theater. She had a plan
[69:00] Keith: right after she finished. She thanked me. Kiss me deeply a few times while gently working her hand into my pants. This feels like little Rodica.
[69:20] Keith: Needless to say about the time I need to say about the time Imhotep, which is in the Mummy movie, was fully powered up. I had a mind blowing orgasm, but she didn't stop. She whispered in my ear I can feel you throbbing and squeeze gently. I went again. I didn't know it was possible. I really miss her. I wish teenage me wasn't such a jealous and no self esteem. Asshole,
[69:22] Keith: This is really
[69:27] Keith: blood. This this mummy hand job into Ah,
[69:30] Mike: it was a double hand job. Don't forget.
[69:32] Keith: Yeah,
[69:34] Keith: Yeah,
[69:38] Keith: that doesn't sound. Get whatever it was, it was that it was
[69:39] Keith: taboo.
[69:43] Keith: And probably that was the first orgasm he had with her, right? Well,
[69:48] Mike: I mean, it's also yeah, it's that. And it's also exciting that, like, I mean, like,
[69:51] Mike: yeah, I mean, I think I think women could get a lot of mileage out of, like,
[69:53] Mike: appearing super interested in sex.
[70:00] Mike: So, like the fact that she brought a blanket, the fact that she was like here I'm going toe take charge, I think often kind of turns guys on
[70:03] Mike: because it's like a reversal of roles or whatever.
[70:19] Keith: That makes sense to me. Yeah, he's liberated to enjoy it. This person says heroin just makes everything feel like the best feeling effort to the point of even laying under a blanket is like mind numbingly amazing. Here we go. Forgot to mention that. It also basically road your life the first time you take it, so I don't recommend it.
[70:24] Mike: Yeah, I mean, there's there's a definitely, like, this entire Reddit thread has some hints of drug use in it, in my
[70:37] Keith: opinion. Yeah. All right. Last one, blowjob. While she had this little prostate vibrator in my But it was like I had a stroke. I could hardly move the right side of my body. And my vision went dirty was on. Lee ableto lay there for a while. I imagine that's what
[70:39] Keith: heroin feels like.
[70:46] Keith: Mhm. Yes. Ah, yeah, I have not.
[70:49] Keith: I had a prostate orgasm, so I don't know.
[70:54] Keith: How does a prostate vibrator work? It somehow is curved in a way or something. I
[71:05] Mike: just think it's basically like a little Penis jams up there, but it's gonna be like, I think the key differences that, like, because you're not interested in girth. You're just trying to get up there and, like, stimulated particular spot. It's gonna be really, uh
[71:10] Mike: you know the part you need to ramp up. Sorry. Insert through the anus
[71:20] Mike: is pretty narrow, right? It's not gonna be. It's gonna be something that's fairly easy to insert. Not not, You know, I mean, obviously a typical one vibrator a woman would use its gonna be kind of Penis
[71:21] Mike: diameter,
[71:24] Mike: which is rough for a guy. I mean, you know, it's not maybe what you
[71:30] Keith: want. Okay, Well, I think we've
[71:46] Keith: gone through enough weird best orgasm experiences, so all right, that'll do it for Episode 23 of your mileage may vary. We'd love some feedback will pay you $15 if you give us any. So hit us up at Y M m v pod at gmail dot com.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 23: Fake Orgasms, Vaginal Exercise, Sexsomnia, Women's Scent, Older Men, Most Intense Orgasms

Episode Transcript