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Episode 28: Audio Porn, Porn Star Hookups, Bad Dirty Talk, Exhibitionism, Asking For Anilingus, Masturbation Requests

Team YMMV | 2-4-2021 | 1:03:20

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We listen to and discuss our first audio porn on the show, with some different opinions on it.

Should Keith consider hooking up with a former porn star? What are some solutions for guys who are pretty bad at dirty talking?

What's behind some women's desire to be exhibitionists? And what's the right way to ask for anilingus?

To listen to the full-length audio porn we discussed, you can click on the link below:

https://ymmv.me/28/audio-porn

We get a lot of our questions from the Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/28/bad-dirty-talk

https://ymmv.me/28/exhibitionism

https://ymmv.me/28/anilingus

https://ymmv.me/28/cum-on-me

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [0:23] Keith: Yeah. Feel my balls slapping against your butt Cheeks never dried up so fast. He also told me that he loves quote humping your beautiful little crotch thoughts. And then then there's an edit here, so people ask for some more quotes. So here goes. But before I give where I want to say that he is a very sweet and very good reason,
  • [0:26] Keith: Dale.
  • [0:50] Keith: Hello, and welcome to your mileage may vary. Your mileage may vary is a show that takes an often overly candid look at taboo topics around sex and relationships. Way hope you're entertained by our analysis and that you find our serious approach to humorous discussions amusing. Or maybe that should be humorous approach to serious discussions. Whatever my co host is. Mike, are you there? Mike,
  • [0:51] Mike: I'm here. Indeed.
  • [1:01] Keith: Okay, great. So before we launch into a slightly new take on our classic episode opening porn viewing segment, I'd like
  • [1:08] Keith: I'd like to invite you to rate or review us on your favorite podcasting app. It helps grow the show, and it motivates us to keep recording.
  • [1:19] Keith: And if you'd like to provide some feedback, will pay $15 to anyone who sends us notes at why. Mm. The pod at gmail dot com. Okay, enough begging. What do you have for us today, Mike?
  • [1:54] Mike: Well, we had a listener, as you know, send in a different style of content from what I normally consume. Now, I'm a pretty, I guess, in most of life, I don't feel like I'm that visual. But I think for porn, like most men, I am pretty visual. But this listener sent in a gnawed eo porn that we could listen to, which is great, because we can actually just play it directly on the podcast year. We'll also put the link to it on the show notes and give you the, uh, time stamps we're gonna jump to. And Keith hasn't heard. I've heard it a bit. I can tell you already. It's not my favorite. Uh,
  • [2:01] Mike: and it's not like, you know, we share things that are a little unusual. This one, I think I just don't I don't think I could masturbate to this, but anyway,
  • [2:06] Mike: let's give it a shot and let people listen. Our first time stamps gonna be right at the beginning of the link. So, uh, but we'll
  • [2:10] Keith: hold on. Let me ask people. Call it open here. Okay, I'm ready. Are you ready?
  • [2:16] Keith: I'm ready. All right. 321 start.
  • [2:18] Mike: Hi. So I
  • [2:22] Mike: already liken SMR comfortable. Oh, God.
  • [2:24] Mike: Element of this, right? Like it's
  • [2:27] Mike: two sim back
  • [2:28] Keith: and relax.
  • [2:30] Mike: It's in stereo too, right?
  • [2:33] Keith: It is in stereo for me. Yes. Yeah.
  • [2:36] Mike: So I think she's recorded.
  • [2:41] Mike: She's recorded heavy breathing on the left, I think. Oh, God.
  • [2:45] Mike: Does this turn you on? Keith?
  • [2:46] Keith: Um,
  • [2:50] Keith: give me. Give me another 10 seconds here. Okay,
  • [2:52] Keith: I'm back.
  • [2:55] Keith: Anything.
  • [2:57] Keith: We're both here for you.
  • [2:57] Keith: Oh,
  • [2:59] Mike: they're supposed to be two women,
  • [3:03] Keith: and we're going to make you feel okay. I'm gonna pause there.
  • [3:05] Mike: Okay. Hi. Positive.
  • [3:09] Keith: Okay. Okay. So this is a person
  • [3:13] Keith: with okay, for starters, it extremely elaborate microphone set up,
  • [3:14] Keith: Uh,
  • [3:19] Mike: true. It's Yeah, there's it's high quality audio production there. Much higher quality than your mileage may vary
  • [3:28] Keith: on. And there she is. I mean, so far, we could just hear the breathing from from person number two, but person number one is simulating a sort of
  • [3:33] Keith: submissiveness, I guess is that's not quite the right word. Do you have a better word for what she's trying to
  • [3:36] Mike: convey. I think it's like it's like, um,
  • [3:49] Mike: it's like an effort, some kind of intimacy, especially. I mean, we're obviously wearing headphones as we record this, and, um, it's really in your head. I mean, it is like SMR, right? And so she's trying to make it zits like
  • [3:58] Mike: she's right next year. Year, as she's like. Well, she hasn't in the little scene here. She hasn't yet started to do anything to me or you or
  • [4:11] Mike: her client. Whatever. But she's she's. But she's right. Next your ear and I have to say that like, I think in real life I don't know how you feel about this, Keith. But even in real life, I don't really like someone to be that close to my ear. Making noises E. I mean, yeah,
  • [4:17] Keith: I'm trying to square a couple things here. I am not turned off yet.
  • [4:22] Keith: I kind of like I don't know. I don't know. I I need t o e need to hear more.
  • [4:28] Keith: Um, I like the sort of
  • [4:31] Keith: Yeah, she seems like she really
  • [4:37] Keith: I mean, look, this is she's simulating it, but I can imagine in my mind that she really wants to be there right like she's
  • [4:42] Keith: she's going to do something to me that she's really excited to dio
  • [4:47] Mike: and ordinarily that is a big turn on for me. Like I like amateur porn. It's just,
  • [5:07] Mike: um, in order like and I like. By the way, I was discussing this with a friend, like a month ago. I do Finally, the audio important important on DSO like I Yeah, I like to have my AIRPODS or whatever, like some sort of headphones or speakers have the audio. And if I don't have the audio, if I'm in a situation like a whatever,
  • [5:14] Mike: whatever, wherever I am, if I'm in a position where, like I really can't do with the audio like it's, it's significantly less fun for me. Is that your experience? Dukie.
  • [5:16] Keith: Yes, I am.
  • [5:20] Keith: I live in an apartment building, and
  • [5:23] Keith: the walls here are very thin,
  • [5:24] Keith: and
  • [5:27] Keith: I do like the audio in porn, and I
  • [5:34] Keith: I don't sometimes worry. I'm confident that my neighbors can hear my porn dealing if I don't use headphones, and
  • [5:39] Mike: but I mean it's hard for them to disarm big. You ate that from all of the well.
  • [5:55] Keith: That's right, How do they know it's It's It's actual sex or real sex. Is all my sex like sex, right? Yeah. Exactly. No. I mean, there's a logistical things to like. You know, you could set up Bluetooth headsets, headphones, but if I'm wearing, um,
  • [5:57] Keith: recorded
  • [6:15] Keith: accorded headphones, you know, we've talked before. I sometimes like to stand up when I'm masturbating and so, you know, get the court Got to get the court at the right angle. No, I don't always masturbate standing up, but, you know, in the times, I do courted headphones. Their problem. And so in those in those cases in particular, Yes. Go
  • [6:27] Mike: ahead. When you masturbate sitting down, I know that when you stand up, you put paper towels out on the desk in front of you and ejaculate onto those when you're sitting down, Do you put them on your stomach?
  • [6:28] Keith: The paper towels?
  • [6:30] Keith: Yeah.
  • [6:31] Mike: Uh, stand up.
  • [6:39] Keith: One of the reasons why I don't like masturbating. Sitting down is like, I don't like getting semen all over my hands and like myself,
  • [6:57] Keith: you know, like trips down your shaft and like, gets into your pubic hair. It's just a mess. Eso that zai for masturbating standing up. What do I wear? No, I know there. Is there such a thing as like a seaman bid you can wear? Well, master, But I know some people use socks.
  • [7:01] Mike: Ah, I was gonna ask if you wore a condom. Actually,
  • [7:11] Mike: yeah. No, When I know. When I was in high school, I wore a condom. Wants to masturbate because someone had as a joke. I guess it was a joke. They left it under my windshield wiper.
  • [7:25] Mike: Um, yeah. I mean, they e I was seeing a girl and they thought, Oh, you need whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was gonna use that condom actually for sex, because I was like, I tell it. For all I know, they like part of the joke is they, like, poked a hole in it or something. So you
  • [7:29] Keith: don't want You don't want several third parties in between you and the condom purchase?
  • [7:34] Mike: Exactly. Exactly. But I So I used it otherwise, and it was fine.
  • [7:35] Mike: It's not that great of a story.
  • [7:36] Mike: Yeah, I did that
  • [7:47] Keith: one. I haven't tried it. I guess I could try it and report back. Maybe I'll do that this week. put it on my to do list. Okay. Alright, let's Let's we got to continue with this point. Which should I restart? Should we restart at 50 seconds here or what should we
  • [7:49] Mike: dio do? 11 minutes.
  • [7:52] Keith: Okay. 11 00
  • [8:07] Mike: Yeah. So this is and we'll put it in the we'll put it into the podcaster so people can hear it live with us. But it's, you know, getting obviously way more into the action here. This whole clip is about 2021 minutes along, so you know, a little more going on. So you listen,
  • [8:12] Keith: I'm gonna Alright. Starting in 321 now
  • [8:14] Mike: some heavy breathing. But
  • [8:17] Keith: all of her beautiful face. Jesus.
  • [8:21] Keith: Wow. Chili off my fingers.
  • [8:28] Mike: So there's a lot of moist sounds here. Like she has something that simulates
  • [8:32] Mike: fluid on a Penis. What do you think? That iss they
  • [8:37] Keith: love to give you don't know. Dream I
  • [8:45] Keith: you love. What do you think about that? Are we just like to keep you know it's OK
  • [8:47] Keith: to fuck you
  • [8:49] Keith: suck here.
  • [8:51] Mike: I really dislike this.
  • [8:59] Keith: E Think I know what's going on now? At least I'll describe when we pause e Let's go another 10 seconds here.
  • [9:02] Keith: Sure,
  • [9:03] Mike: I deserve it.
  • [9:05] Mike: That's true.
  • [9:09] Keith: Do you want me to massage your cock It? Wow.
  • [9:11] Keith: Okay,
  • [9:25] Mike: there's a lot of weird language, and I mean, like, you deserve this. That za pretty odd. And there was I was going to mention it at the time. What was it? It was She just has a lot of things. She says that, like, I wouldn't expect a partner to say, but go on. What are you going to say?
  • [9:28] Keith: Okay, I'm pausing now.
  • [9:31] Mike: You actually Sorry. Okay, well,
  • [9:45] Keith: it was It was more of the same. Sorry. Sorry. It was more of the same. Okay, so first I was confused by, like, those moist sounds and how they were being made, but they must have like, uh, yeah, their mouth Sounds not vagina sounds.
  • [9:49] Mike: Oh, you think so? That would make sense because it supposed to be aural. That makes sense.
  • [9:52] Keith: Why? I didn't know if it was supposed to be or or not, but,
  • [9:54] Mike: I mean, she has been she both.
  • [10:05] Keith: Yeah, but how do you just audio logistically here? How do you get the microphone that close to your vagina, right? Like you would have to. Well, maybe they said that the record is well,
  • [10:09] Mike: this I'm gonna Can you add this to our spreadsheet? This is something we can ask Ali to do for us.
  • [10:14] Keith: Way are these mouth sounds or vagina sounds? Well,
  • [10:22] Mike: she could just try to make some vagina sounds for us and we could see we could see if they sound really and let our listeners tell us. Yeah,
  • [10:31] Keith: yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's gonna be so excited to come back on. No, I think their mouth sounds and well, I know their mouths. In
  • [10:39] Mike: this case, they are because that's the That's the the You know, the premise of the audio porn is that it's a Orel.
  • [10:47] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. So the general thing here is Yeah, this is being done absolutely to please me.
  • [10:50] Keith: It's submissive. It's
  • [10:56] Keith: It's I mean, so far, it's sort of slow and intimate. I would say,
  • [10:59] Mike: Yeah, I mean, it's it's
  • [11:06] Mike: I don't like this word, but it's very performative. ITT's it actually like. So this is the thing. It's like, I know it's supposed to come across a sort of
  • [11:17] Mike: Maybe it's not maybe, yeah, natural, but maybe it's not supposed I was, Yeah, I was saying that it didn't come out right. Like, Yeah, this is obviously professional so whatever. But it's like, Look, no one would say these things like if
  • [11:22] Mike: If you're in a relationship where we're saying these things constantly like, that's a little weird today.
  • [11:25] Keith: So I agree that
  • [11:32] Keith: it's I don't know if performative is the right word, though I find it mildly convincing.
  • [11:34] Mike: Oh, I'm not saying more.
  • [11:48] Keith: I mean, yeah, like, if I heard this, I wouldn't be like Oh, yeah, that's really like It's obviously not quote unquote riel, but it's convincing enough to be Gosh, yeah, I don't think I'm actually aroused by this, but I'm not actively turned off.
  • [11:50] Mike: Yeah, it repels me.
  • [11:57] Keith: It's hard to say how I would be feeling if you know, this wasn't my normal masturbating our And
  • [11:58] Mike: isn't that every hour
  • [12:02] Keith: E was trying to abstract
  • [12:19] Mike: isn't isn't like. I think this might go along with my like the various situations I've described in the past, where things like feel This is like in some ways this feels too intimate for me, like I think it bothers me because, like, I don't want some woman in my head saying things like that. Yeah, like I wanted. I wanted to shut up.
  • [12:26] Keith: She Yeah, but this implies a sort of worshiping by her toward you that I kind of like I mean,
  • [12:28] Mike: if your cock is in her mouth like that's enough
  • [12:31] Keith: for you, that's convincing enough.
  • [12:49] Mike: Yeah, you know, the images is plenty like, I don't like it almost. It's almost like when she's saying these things, it's too much, and it makes me I think it's actually. But I think the thing that actually repels me is like it's too intimate, like it's like it's two e. I wonder if I would feel the same way if I did like Oculus rift porn,
  • [12:58] Mike: you know, like it? Or if they had some even more realistic virtual reality porn. I wonder if I would feel like that was too intimate. Of course, I don't feel like actual stuff judgment. So
  • [13:03] Keith: now it's an interesting question. Um, should we skip forward to the end to see of
  • [13:17] Mike: our last is gonna We're gonna jump to the time stamp 19, but we'll put the audio again into the podcast. Um, and this year, of course, this is we're nearing. This might even be after the climax. Like I just listen to a little snippet here. I didn't want to ruin. It s
  • [13:25] Keith: going back to 18 instead. Or you wanna do 19? That's 19. Okay. All right. 321 Go,
  • [13:27] Keith: Daddy!
  • [13:31] Keith: Oh, gosh. Let it go home.
  • [13:34] Keith: Let it go. That's a bad hand.
  • [13:36] Keith: Hello.
  • [13:36] Mike: It's
  • [13:40] Keith: revolting.
  • [13:42] Keith: It's okay.
  • [13:44] Keith: Oh,
  • [13:47] Keith: I wonder how long this will go for.
  • [13:52] Keith: There's two minutes left. Yeah.
  • [13:55] Keith: Is he Is he? I think that's supposed to be the end.
  • [13:57] Mike: Um, I coming.
  • [14:01] Keith: Yeah, Well, yes.
  • [14:09] Keith: Oh, gross thing. This is Yeah, she's swallowing. That's what's happening. She was swallowed it, right?
  • [14:12] Keith: Yeah. E called it.
  • [14:19] Keith: She's so greedy. Okay, pausing
  • [14:21] Keith: Wow. Okay, um
  • [14:25] Mike: so greedy and s I don't understand the premise here of
  • [14:33] Mike: when she's basically trying to convince you that it's okay. Toe nut. It's okay. Like what? I don't get it. What's the what's why is that arousing?
  • [14:38] Keith: I think being given permission to nut is the thing. That something like
  • [14:41] Mike: Do you like that?
  • [14:44] Mike: Just in case you do like you could explain why.
  • [14:55] Keith: Well, I'm pausing to think if liking such a thing would be evacuating Uh, no, I think it's okay. Yeah. No. Yeah. No, it's It's nice being encouraged.
  • [15:02] Mike: This isn't It's okay. I disagree that this is encouragement. Like if she said something like, I you know, I
  • [15:04] Mike: I want it right now.
  • [15:08] Keith: I've already forgotten. What? What did she say? She said, Give stuff
  • [15:13] Mike: Like she said, It's okay. Let it all out. I think, And then it's OK,
  • [15:15] Keith: It's OK.
  • [15:20] Mike: So your permission is exactly the right word. It's like it's like he is somehow withholding,
  • [15:28] Mike: because why would he withhold? I mean, the whole I mean, most of the reason men exist us to do that at least half.
  • [15:32] Mike: So anyway, yeah, I don't I don't understand the premise there. I believe it, though. I mean,
  • [15:32] Keith: I mean this
  • [15:33] Mike: harkens tax and send it
  • [15:34] Keith: to us.
  • [15:44] Keith: This harkens back to our conversation. I think it was last episode where it's like, how do you know if you're supposed to come when giving a blow when being given a blow job?
  • [15:47] Mike: Oh, Oh, that's really interesting. Do you think that, um,
  • [15:53] Mike: that this kind of permission play would make a blow more interesting for you?
  • [15:54] Mike: Yes. Interesting
  • [15:58] Keith: E mean, you know, we sort of went through this. I don't I haven't had
  • [16:08] Keith: enough blowjobs to really understand the flow chart of what's going on in my mind and what I want to hear. Uh, so I'm not sure, but I can imagine it. Yes,
  • [16:09] Keith: yes.
  • [16:13] Mike: Wait. How many blow jobs have you had?
  • [16:16] Keith: Uh, I mean,
  • [16:18] Mike: you just said you hadn't had many.
  • [16:24] Keith: Well, I mean, I think compared to the average, you know, regular sex having person, I haven't had that many.
  • [16:32] Mike: Okay. As, like as, like, a ratio or something that makes sense. Yeah. Um, yeah, I think I I think that like, if this was said to me,
  • [16:37] Mike: yeah, it would it would make it take longer for me to orgasm. I'd be like
  • [16:56] Mike: Like what? Why are you saying these things to me like like like this? I mean, this is just a difference of mentality, like honestly, like I'm or turned on by the notion that, like, look, I'm not into non consent. I'm not actually into, like b d S m or anything like that, but I would be more turned on by the idea of like it.
  • [17:01] Mike: It's something that I'm imposing on her if that makes sense like I like that better. Like the idea that it's like, not
  • [17:04] Keith: yeah, that's not what we wanted.
  • [17:17] Mike: Yeah, that it's like, Yeah, that it's like it's like I'm It's not It's just this thing of like I'm, like, imposing myself on her, as opposed to like, Oh, it's okay. Like I don't like how she's stage managing my orgasm.
  • [17:21] Keith: Yes, that's interesting, because I kind of do.
  • [17:22] Keith: Uh huh.
  • [17:30] Keith: Yeah. I mean, you're some sort of like there's some sort of like mawr alfa nous there or something that you're expressing. I'm not sure.
  • [17:32] Mike: Good. I hope it makes me more Alfa.
  • [17:43] Keith: Yeah, I don't really feel like I'm suddenly feeling insecure about this. Well, this sucks a good job. Listener. Uh,
  • [17:47] Mike: listen, that's this is a beta than is what we're saying. A very beta individual.
  • [17:50] Keith: I mean, that's I don't know.
  • [17:55] Mike: That sounds like a good diagnosis to me on, uh, now that zannex listener,
  • [17:59] Keith: this this this dovetails nicely into
  • [18:20] Keith: okay, I have something else I want to talk about in my personal life. But let's let's do that after this next thing, because this dovetails nicely into one of the things I found on Reddit this week. So sure, this person says he is terrible at dirty talk. And I wanted to bring this up because we've talked sort of off and on about dirty talk that our last few episodes and
  • [18:40] Keith: how to do it And, you know, should people like moan and groan and that kind of stuff. So this this felt sort of a proposed some of that stuff. All right, so this person says Okay, so I've had a friends with benefits for a while and for some reason he not only whispers every time he says something raunchy, but he also says the most unsexy things. Recently we were having sex when he whispered, and I quote,
  • [18:49] Keith: Yeah, feel my balls slapping against your butt Cheeks never dried up so fast. He also told me that he loves quote humping your beautiful little crotch
  • [18:50] Keith: thoughts.
  • [19:12] Keith: And then? Then there's an edit here, so people asked for some more quotes. So here goes. But before I give where I want to say that he is a very sweet and very good person thing but is very clueless in terms of dirty talk, not the communication can't improve I love how she is explaining explaining away. Hit this. Okay, here's Here's some or quote. I love your skin. It's so smooth.
  • [19:24] Keith: Quote your vaginal balls. Air so fit. Oh, that implies this is an English person I think fit. And like English, you know, British vernacular is like a way of saying attractive.
  • [19:27] Mike: Okay, not actually in good shape. Yeah, yeah,
  • [19:39] Keith: yeah. I don't think so. Quote. Your nipples are so beautiful. And quote, I love the skin on your breasts. Okay, some of these are Oh, yeah, like that was Okay, um,
  • [19:54] Keith: the feeling, my balls slapping against your butt cheeks. See, this is one of those things where, like, you just switch one words like, if you if you said ask there it makes it more powerful. But but but cheeks is a little bit too, you know,
  • [19:58] Mike: he was the thing. He said that he he loved his balls. Yeah, He said you
  • [20:02] Keith: feel my balls slapping against your butt cheeks?
  • [20:04] Mike: Yeah. They can't feel that.
  • [20:07] Keith: Wait. Didn't we have a conversation about
  • [20:09] Mike: when would they slept with being cheeks?
  • [20:18] Keith: Now? Well, okay. We talked about how when having sex doggy style, the person can feel your scrotum or balls slap against their clips sometimes.
  • [20:21] Mike: Oh, of course. But that's, like the most sensitive part of her body
  • [20:24] Keith: 20 episodes ago. Um, yeah.
  • [20:29] Keith: Yeah. Your butt cheeks is not okay. Okay, Look, like the problem here isn't that he's not anatomically sound.
  • [20:31] Mike: I'm missing the forest for the trees. I got it
  • [20:35] Keith: right. Right, right, right. Uh,
  • [20:52] Keith: and then, yeah. I mean, there's another thing here. This came up in a comment when somebody said I had a partner, That was a whisper. Constantly be pardon or sorry. I missed that. Um, yeah, yeah. The moment you have to repeat yourself during dirty talk is kind of the moment. The dirty talk is over. Like, yeah.
  • [20:56] Mike: What is your go to dirty talk, chief? Probably not. All right.
  • [21:07] Keith: I don't have anything. Great. I have been experimenting with us lately, but I am not comfortable enough with it to to share with the group way. Continue check in
  • [21:16] Mike: the future. I understand what that and I have no problem with that. But can you? I'm actually curious about when you say experimentation. Could you just give a general idea of what that means? I mean, like your
  • [21:20] Mike: you pre plan before you
  • [21:21] Keith: are.
  • [21:27] Mike: I'm just curious, you know? It doesn't have to be. You know, it could just be that you thought about and you're like, I'm gonna try saying like, um
  • [21:31] Mike: you know what I'm about Toe blow my load. I'm gonna say
  • [21:40] Mike: something. I'm gonna say something. Like, I'm gonna come up with a thing that's not just I'm gonna come or is it like or maybe I don't know. What? How do you plan that out?
  • [21:41] Keith: Uh huh.
  • [21:47] Keith: I have an answer to this. You said hiding. I'm deciding. You said that you can. Honestly,
  • [22:02] Mike: Yes. I'm not interested in the exact things you say I'm interested in. Like, did you plan them in advance? Do you just have a genre that you're gonna go for or when you say experimenting? You just have had the urge. And so you're just saying things during the act that maybe before you would have suppressed like that could just be that, right?
  • [22:04] Keith: Yeah, I think it's mostly the latter.
  • [22:06] Mike: Okay, where do you wanna tell us
  • [22:14] Keith: any of the things you know? I do not s o, you know that this is very disappointed. radio for our listeners.
  • [22:20] Mike: But is it? I mean, is it something like, you know, baby, make Make your man feel like he's got a vagina?
  • [22:38] Keith: It's not No. Yeah, I really like the way your e like the way your knee hairs feel on my arm. No, it's it's better. It's better, I e yeah, Asai. As I improve in this, I will. I will report back. Maybe Maybe I can do.
  • [22:43] Mike: Are you finding that it makes any difference? Like in other words, given your experimentation, would you say
  • [22:46] Mike: Thio listener Hey, you should you should do this or like, amps it up a little bit.
  • [22:52] Keith: Or does it not matter? I think the feedback is universally positive. I think people like hearing,
  • [22:58] Keith: I mean, look, don't say something so dorky that it's awkward, but
  • [23:01] Keith: generally expressing
  • [23:03] Keith: some sort of desire is good.
  • [23:08] Mike: Yes, I have found that to be the case as well. Like if there's a
  • [23:12] Mike: um, yeah, I mean, like, it just changes the like it gives you. It's like pushing the
  • [23:18] Mike: the turbo boost button in a video game or something. Just, like answered up for the next 30 seconds.
  • [23:22] Keith: Yeah, and I like I like. I like hearing.
  • [23:27] Keith: What's the word? Yeah, I like hearing dirty talk back to I mean, I actually think these are just, like, normal human things.
  • [23:31] Mike: Wait, Can you lesson on any of that?
  • [23:32] Mike: What, you hear back?
  • [23:37] Keith: Yeah. I mean, things that okay. Specifically, things that
  • [23:41] Keith: make me feel like I have agency in their pleasure is
  • [23:49] Mike: awesome. Well, what did they say? They say, like, Oh, Keith, I can feel your modestly sized cock all over my body.
  • [23:59] Keith: It's something like, Let's what's it like. It's like, I mean, look, the basic thing is, Oh, that feels so good. Or keep or keep doing that, or yeah,
  • [24:10] Keith: I'm going to come is really good. Although we don't we don't need to relitigate that. I want to talk about that. Yeah, we're not waiting. Obsession are lasted and episodes.
  • [24:16] Keith: Yeah, so Okay. Should we talk about
  • [24:20] Keith: I think I'm ready to talk about this. This former porn star that I met.
  • [24:22] Mike: Okay, let's hear it.
  • [24:31] Keith: So this'll was a while ago. Um, I met somebody on a dating app who
  • [24:39] Keith: turned out to be a former porn star, and I don't I haven't seen any of her movies. I don't know.
  • [24:46] Keith: I think I think she said she would tell me what her like porn name was. So I so I could look her up. But I
  • [24:48] Keith: I can't remember if she said that or not.
  • [24:51] Keith: I don't remember, but anyway, I don't know it. And so I haven't
  • [24:57] Mike: seen if you have a picture, isn't there like, a way to do a facial search or something online? I don't know. If that z
  • [25:18] Keith: you facial search, you could do reversed. You could do reverse image search of it's the exact image. But the technology exists where you can have a picture of a person. E think police have technology like that, but, um, you would have to connect it to, like, a database of corn as well, Which would be hard anyway, so I haven't seen any of her work. Um
  • [25:20] Keith: and
  • [25:21] Keith: yeah,
  • [25:28] Keith: I think if I said the right things, I would have the opportunity to
  • [25:32] Keith: have sex with this person. But I'm a little bit
  • [25:33] Mike: hesitant,
  • [25:36] Mike: and you're okay. You
  • [25:47] Mike: okay? Um, there's an element of this story that's new to me just now, Which is your now saying she's a former porn stars Are you sure of that? Like you didn't just make that up. Like she You're sure she's done?
  • [25:57] Keith: I am sure. She told me that also, she's like, 30 years old now. So this was I don't think there's such thing as 30 year old phone start, even though, like MILF porn is like 25 year olds.
  • [26:05] Mike: Fair point, fair point. Okay, So yeah. And and And Okay, so So you think you could, uh I mean, yeah. I mean, like, without,
  • [26:17] Mike: you wouldn't have to film a porn. You would have to bring along a camera. You just think that you could have relations with her, Uh, you know, sort of normal way on eso My reaction to that when you told me this a little while ago was
  • [26:24] Mike: I think I think this has got to be one of the normal reactions, if not the normal reaction, which is kind of like, uh,
  • [26:28] Mike: you know, that's a little bit of a downer, because,
  • [26:35] Mike: you know, we have a mental image. Maybe it's wrong, but like a mental image that, like somebody who's been in the porn industry, is going toe,
  • [26:37] Mike: you know,
  • [26:45] Mike: not it's not gonna be like great partner, which may not be right. Your reaction was actually not that right. It was It was actually totally different from that. What was your reaction?
  • [26:48] Keith: What do you mean by not be a great partner?
  • [26:50] Mike: Well, I'm trying to be nice about it, like
  • [26:55] Keith: a sexual partner, or you're worried that there would be, like, some sort of emotional trauma or something.
  • [27:04] Mike: I'm worried about that. That like they would, it's it's somebody who's had an unusual life history that would make it make them a little bit difficult to get along with. And also, yeah, I mean, like
  • [27:15] Mike: like I don't wanna go too strong on this because it's like a politically incorrect thing to say. But like, I think that there is a tendency of men not wanna have sex with a woman who's had sex with, like, a lot of men,
  • [27:19] Mike: and I'm not sure where that comes from exactly, like I think it's just a
  • [27:21] Mike: standard feeling that men tend to have. So,
  • [27:28] Keith: yeah, I don't have that concern at all. Like, I think the vagina is generally a self cleaning oven.
  • [27:42] Mike: No, I don't. It's not that there's there's no it's yeah, I know. I realize it's almost like you're you're seeing a ghost or something. You're Yeah, it's like, not it's not really rational. Um, but it's there, and I think it's common. So right, right. I'm representing the common man here.
  • [27:44] Keith: Yeah, I mean,
  • [27:59] Keith: yeah, I agree that that is probably a concern that a lot of people would have. But I mean, yes, assuming, you know, she, you know, has a recent STD tests And that kind, of course it's not. That's not a concern of mine. My concern
  • [28:01] Keith: is that
  • [28:10] Keith: she's probably Well, she certainly had sex with some fairly famous people for being good at having sex
  • [28:15] Keith: in her past. And I'm not sure I
  • [28:18] Keith: I have some insecurities around being able to
  • [28:28] Keith: How shall we say, measure up to that, right? It's not just that, you know, it's not just Penis size, right? Like, you know, just probably seen some,
  • [28:34] Keith: uh, impressively well hung men in her day, but it Zamora around like,
  • [28:39] Keith: yeah, there's some sort of, like skill component or something that I'm not sure
  • [28:40] Mike: I have.
  • [28:44] Mike: I I gotta be honest with you. I think it is Penis size with you.
  • [28:48] Mike: I think that you? I think that's what it is like. I think that if you had a monster,
  • [29:00] Mike: gigantic Penis like you wouldn't have this concern. I think that you have a little bit of, like emotional difficulty with thinking that guys with huge cocks or better than you or something, you really don't think it's just been a size.
  • [29:15] Keith: I mean, that's certainly a part of it, but I don't I don't know if that's the dominating factor or not. But I mean, I feel like that's a completely rational concern. Like if you found out that the last person that your partner slept with had a Penis, that was, you know,
  • [29:19] Keith: 11 inches. Uh, you might feel a little inadequate.
  • [29:23] Mike: That's not how I would feel it all. That's not I mean, first of all, I have ah,
  • [29:35] Mike: larger than average Penis s. So there's that, But But I don't have. It's not 11 inches and and the reason why I wouldn't feel that way at all is because, like I know from personal experience that, like
  • [29:53] Mike: once you get meaningful, e above average and this is only true slightly for me. Um, but I could imagine if it's much bigger, like it's actually a negative like you, You you go too deep, like it's not great, so I can't like like women. Women don't don't wanna have sex with an 11 inch Penis like that's not. You can't put it in all the way,
  • [29:55] Mike: right? I mean, like, it's not,
  • [30:02] Mike: um and also like, I mean, it's funny to me that, like, because the when you say that you don't care at all about the
  • [30:24] Mike: when you say you don't care at all about the sexual history of these people because you're being rational like you should also listen to women who, universally not university, close to universally on the sex suburb that say they're like within reasonable parameters. I mean, if your Penis is like two inches long, that's different. Um, but within reasonable parameters, they don't care about the size, and I believe them that it doesn't matter. And so, like, I don't Yeah, I don't know. I mean,
  • [30:29] Keith: I'm not. I'm not generally concerned about my Penis size. I just think Okay, so you're
  • [30:33] Mike: well, its's what you just said that you was primarily that
  • [30:38] Keith: No, I said, it's that's that's some part of it it's that it's that.
  • [30:42] Keith: What is it? It's that
  • [30:50] Keith: their sizes, Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, Like, don't you think that somebody could, like, get used to,
  • [31:00] Keith: You know, they could get acclimated to much, much, much larger penises than is reasonably expected from, you know, your average partner and maybe forever disappointed after that?
  • [31:07] Mike: Not really. I think that, like, I think that, like, there is a size below which you would bother her. But, I mean, I feel like there's some sort of an analogy here. It's like
  • [31:33] Mike: so women do have different length vaginas, right? Do you think that you've become acclimated in any case, to length vagina in your life? No. Yeah. I mean, there could be a trick you get acclimated to like, for example, deep throat ing or anal or something like that. And so then that's like eso. What you said about technique was like a different topic. Right? But like in terms of just pure Penis size like No, I mean, I think that, like as long as you're within normal parameters like,
  • [31:39] Mike: yeah, I think I think most women it's not gonna matter. There might be a few. I'm sure there are. Few were like, and usually it's gonna be width, not length, By the way,
  • [31:43] Keith: I think you might be right here. I think that Penis size
  • [31:47] Keith: yeah, inside of certain bounds is basically
  • [31:48] Keith: a de minimus concern.
  • [31:53] Mike: And it's bad if it's really big. And I know this because I've had the experience of, like,
  • [31:59] Mike: basically stabbing the cervix or whatever. And it's It's nothing. I mean, something like that. It's not great.
  • [32:00] Keith: Sure,
  • [32:06] Keith: right. Okay. Okay, fine. So that's only one aspect here, though. There's also the
  • [32:08] Keith: performance aspect.
  • [32:16] Mike: Yeah, And that's where I would say that this is my argument. Is that like I think? Okay, yes. There are men who won't give Orel. There are men who
  • [32:46] Mike: are extremely selfish in bed right there. The standard complaints you see on various sub read it's if you do not fit in one of those categories, you feel like a reasonable and I okay, you either fit. You either are conscientious toward the woman or they're under some sort of spell where they all fake orgasms. I think it's actually some combination of those two eso. I think you get some faking, but regardless I believe that you're conscientious. I just don't think there's that much a guy could do to amp it up beyond that other than maybe just pure physical attractiveness, right? Like having
  • [32:59] Mike: being in shaping athletic, whatever, like, other than that, Like, I just don't There isn't some trick a guy could do Now a woman. There are tricks women can dio, so it's different. But for a man, I just don't think, like I mean, I guess. Yeah, like what would you even imagine
  • [33:02] Mike: that you would do? That would be different.
  • [33:03] Keith: Uh,
  • [33:13] Keith: todo you know, you know, back to our conversation earlier like, Yeah, like maybe the things he says are. But I mean, this is a little bit of, ah,
  • [33:21] Keith: hypothetical here because I think I mean, everything important is performative, right? And so, uh,
  • [33:31] Keith: I don't know if this is actually true or not, but yeah, I mean, there's the things he says There's maybe his technique, it or Elice so honed because, you know, he's been around
  • [33:39] Keith: hundreds of women who have all explained exactly what they want. So he was, like, really good intuition about you know how to give someone an orgasm. Or maybe
  • [33:41] Keith: I don't know. Maybe
  • [33:53] Mike: there's I could see it being the opposite because because, like, I mean, what percentage of professionally produced porn shows depicts women actually having an orgasm like s. I mean, it could be the opposite. Like he could just be like, Wait a minute. A
  • [33:57] Mike: you're supposed to. This is when you fake, like you haven't faked yet,
  • [34:04] Keith: right? Yeah. He's had so much incorrect feedback that his technique is actually worse than somebody just bumbling along.
  • [34:38] Mike: I mean, you're talking your your your your argument about dirty talking is a good one, like so, Yes. I mean, like a guy who's silent. I would put into the same category as a guy who, um, doesn't pay any. You know, like, doesn't do like, basic things. I just think that, like you imagine, like, the curve here like like slopes in a certain way. Such that like the bottom. Yes, the bottom 20% of men are really bad at it, but the top, like 60% of men, are all about the same or whatever. It is 40% like there's some point you get to and you're just kind of like it's really crowded right there because there's not this thing a guy can do to get much better. And in these things involved, Yes. Making noise,
  • [34:55] Mike: having making sure, you know, that she has the opportunity, have an orgasm giving Orel, you know, blah, blah, blah. There's, like the Siris of things. And like there's a huge collection of guys that do that. And if there weren't see, this is the thing is that guy's really care about getting a lot of sex. And so if there was something that made you materially better at sex and other guys,
  • [34:57] Mike: all the guys would do it right. Like there's like,
  • [35:00] Keith: a B. You know this, right?
  • [35:12] Mike: Yeah. And like and like, the flip side is like, you know, you could use a similar argument for why, like, women don't all do all the tricks because it just doesn't matter as much to them, right?
  • [35:20] Mike: Yeah. So they're not like, Yeah, I'm like and for the most part, guys air pretty happy If they just get to have sex with a woman like they don't, she doesn't need toe.
  • [35:23] Mike: Have some big bag of tricks, E. I think you have nothing to worry
  • [35:27] Keith: about. This is a compelling case you make Mike
  • [35:28] Keith: mhm.
  • [35:33] Mike: Okay, so are you, considering, uh, seeing the porn star? I need e
  • [35:37] Keith: need to think about this further. I need to meditate on it. And, uh,
  • [35:47] Mike: one thing I would point out with her. You ought to be able to try out and experiment with some new and advanced dirty talk, because presumably she's heard a lot.
  • [35:50] Keith: Yeah. She's not gonna get offended.
  • [35:58] Mike: Yeah, like you could say. Like, um uh huh. James Dean didn't didn't penetrate this part of your pussy, Right?
  • [35:59] Keith: Right, Right. Although
  • [36:03] Mike: he probably almost certainly did because
  • [36:21] Keith: Right, Right, this is hypothetical. Okay. Yeah. All right. I'll put some or I'll put some more thought to this, and I may or may not report back on a future episode. Okay, let's move on here. So this one was kind of funny from Reddit. Uh,
  • [36:37] Keith: this person says this person is a 23 year old male. He says, I think my exhibitionist girlfriend, who's 21 years old, is out of control. My girlfriend of three months has been embracing her exhibition aside as of late, and it's leaving me with mixed feelings. Have you have you read this one, Mike,
  • [36:39] Mike: I'm not sure. Okay,
  • [37:25] Keith: all right. I think it's hot how wild she is, but I'm beginning to think she's becoming too wild. She's involving people who never agreed to participate in her Kanke. And it's making me nervous because I'm not in control of other people's reactions. Let me provide some examples. This is what she's done in the past few days. Number one. Our apartment complex has a pool, and since it's summer here, there's always other people swimming and sunbathing. My girlfriend stripped down to her bikini and made me spank her ass raw before leaving our apartment and making sure everyone hanging out at the pool could see my red handprints all over her butt. Okay, okay, so that's what All right, Number 21 called one immediately. Right, right, right. We were driving to the convenience store one night when all of a sudden she lifted up her oversized hoodie and so and showed me she's naked underneath. I asked if she planned to get out of the car like that. And not only did she say yes, she encouraged me to touch her and lift
  • [37:31] Keith: lift up her hoody while we were inside the store. Part of me got really turned on not going to lie,
  • [37:46] Keith: but not turned on enough to actually go through with it. That didn't stop my girlfriend, though she would jump on my back, hug me, bend over to pick up products, etcetera, all obvious attempts to make her hoody lift up on its own. I did my best to avoid eye contact with other people in the store, but I'm 100% sure we were drawing attention.
  • [38:08] Mike: You know, I I actually sort of hate people to do this like I've had, um and this has to do with Cove it, I think. But in the last three months, I've had two different times where I was running in a Parker's, and I try to run kind of places where there aren't a lot of people, uh, to not have to, like, play political games with masks and no masks while running. So I just try to, you know, make sure I'm alone,
  • [38:11] Mike: and I have run into these people just fucking
  • [38:21] Mike: twice, and you're just like, Come on, man. And like and like, it's just, you know, they have to find a different route, like one of my supposed to. In both cases, they did not see me.
  • [38:27] Mike: Um, I also let's see Well, I've had I've had way more experiences with that with people in cars parked at, like, overlooks and stuff.
  • [38:32] Keith: Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, when I was in
  • [38:41] Keith: Ah, well, when I was younger, uh, yeah, I was in a park parking lot once at night, and a cop came up and busted us.
  • [38:42] Keith: That was
  • [38:44] Mike: frustrating. Fucking in a car.
  • [38:57] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I was in an age where it wasn't easy to find, you know, a place to go. I think it was 19 or something, and I think it was in the summer. So I was living with my parents, and, you know, she was living with her parents. So what are you supposed to dio
  • [39:05] Keith: get a room? I don't know. Well, you know, we're not rich either, so right, you get motel feels sleazy. Also, like,
  • [39:09] Keith: Yeah, I don't even know if I knew how to do that back then. It wasn't like you could just go on
  • [39:12] Keith: hotels dot com back that it didn't exist. You
  • [39:19] Mike: get a tent. I hear you. I hear you. Yeah, I know. Anyway, eso So anyway, the only point was that, like, these exhibitionist people like,
  • [39:25] Mike: Yeah, there it za plus one for their life. But it actually is like a minus something for everybody around them that
  • [39:31] Keith: Listen, I went on a I went on a date once with a girl, and she was like, Oh, uh,
  • [39:40] Keith: why don't you come over for an afternoon delight? I was like, Okay? And we she wanted to go to the park, and she was wearing a sundress. And
  • [39:51] Keith: this is like, our second date. I didn't I didn't know her very well. And she straddled me and started, like, unbuckling my pants and was like, What are you doing? We're on the Panhandle in Golden Gate Park, right? Like, you know,
  • [39:53] Keith: families and Children around.
  • [39:55] Keith: And,
  • [39:59] Keith: you know, I told her no. And then she got, like, kind of irritated.
  • [40:11] Keith: And then she started doing cart wheels, and she's she's in, like, a sundress. And she's not wearing panties. And anyway, this is the last time I ever saw her, but yeah, I mean, I think some people just have this
  • [40:14] Keith: Expect exposition is, um
  • [40:22] Keith: driver. Need that is Well, yeah, it's just not something I have. What do you What's going on there?
  • [40:29] Mike: Well, I mean, the only comment I think I could make that's productive. It all. Is that like it's? It's more fun for a woman like From You See, this is the thing like
  • [40:35] Mike: public nudity or public sort of flashing or whatever you want to say for a woman, it's like, kind of like this joke
  • [41:05] Mike: fun like Oh, and it's like, kind of risque Now The thing that women I think don't realize in this situation in these situations is that a man doing the exact same things is like a It's not a felony, but it zits like implies violence, right? Yeah, I pull my cock out in almost any situation other than, like the locker room or a bathroom like it's a weapon. I mean, like, it's like, even if it's flaccid, like it doesn't matter. Like like people are gonna People are gonna be like, scream and run away, like if I'm out and running or exercising or whatever I need to pee.
  • [41:17] Mike: I'm super careful about not people not seeing me. P not because I care if they see my cock. I don't give a shit. It's not erect or anything. It's because I know that if they see it, they it's like I'm showing them my gun.
  • [41:33] Keith: Yeah. No, I made a mistake with that, I think was in September. So I was in Seattle and I was in a park and I needed to pee, and I didn't see anyone around and I went behind a tree. And when I came, yeah, while I was peeing,
  • [41:51] Keith: this family walked by and just Yeah, I felt so badly. Like, look on the mom's face. It's just irritated and grossed out and maybe slightly threatened. Like I just I wasn't trying to do that, but yeah, it's like an imposition on the people and in some cases, like a dangerous imposition on the people around you. And, yeah,
  • [42:02] Mike: so I mean, I think this is like to some extent, like a difference of socialization, like girls or socialized that their bodies are pretty. And look, I know there downsides to that, too. But this is one of those situations where it's, like
  • [42:06] Mike: weirder for the guy. Guys air socialized that our bodies air kind of gross.
  • [42:25] Keith: Okay, so I agree with. Well, okay, so I agree with the, like, social taboo aspect where it's much harder for a man to feel comfortable, uh, in public, but I think there's something beyond that. It's not just that like the law and, like, people might look at you funny. Like, I think that
  • [42:37] Keith: Well, I know that this this woman anyway. Really? And it sounds like the woman in this in this Reddit post. Yeah, there's something about, I guess, feeling other people's eyes on them or
  • [42:42] Keith: yeah, I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's just maybe its the taboo nature itself
  • [42:44] Keith: that's turning them on. I'm not sure what's going on there.
  • [42:57] Mike: Yeah, I mean, like, people will go after women for wanting attention. Men want attention to, though, you know, that s so it's not just one gender, but but the difference is that a difference between men and women is that this is a way
  • [43:01] Mike: to get attention, kind of positive attention or kind of the attention they want.
  • [43:05] Mike: That's that you might imagine wanting as opposed to like a policeman coming for you right there. Then
  • [43:09] Keith: can dio gets a much lower risk kind of attention than it is for a man where as
  • [43:19] Mike: well, But yeah, there's well, right, But it's positive on some level. Whereas, ah, man, who wants attention? That kind of attention is just gonna do something different, right? He's gonna,
  • [43:31] Mike: you know, like, go through the middle of the town skateboarding, jumping over all the obstacles or whatever. You know, do something that kind of shows some skill or something. That's, you know, maybe annoying, but, like, gets your attention, right?
  • [43:34] Keith: Yeah. You're talking about a different way.
  • [43:36] Mike: Exactly. Yeah.
  • [43:41] Keith: Okay. Yeah. Yeah, there is, But it's kind of it's kind of,
  • [43:44] Keith: um yeah, it's I don't want to read it.
  • [44:04] Keith: It's not funny. And it's it's it's just not got any, um so Okay. Uh, okay. Here's here's one that I think is sort of funny. This person says, How do I tell a man to eat my ass? I'm 22 year old female. He is a 30 year old male and we 69 lot. And every time he grazes over me
  • [44:06] Keith: every time he grazes
  • [44:22] Keith: and every time he grazes over it, I guess she's talking about her asshole. Same. When I sit on his face I am so into having my ass eating. But I never know how to ask because I don't want toe like kill the moment. What should I dio? So setting aside that 69 ing is not
  • [44:24] Keith: all it's cracked up to be.
  • [44:26] Mike: You're not a big fan, huh?
  • [44:29] Keith: E
  • [44:34] Mike: was This is because this is because of the blow thing. I mean, it's not
  • [44:44] Mike: like, basically, if you're somebody who likes getting a blow. First of all, it's not yet. It's not the world's most comfortable position, But let me defend it for a second year. Like the reason
  • [44:51] Mike: a reason why someone would like it is because you're getting a blow and you're getting aroused by your partners genitals at the same time.
  • [45:00] Keith: You know, I haven't tried 69 since college. I don't think. And now that you mention it, I wonder if
  • [45:03] Keith: I would like I mean, it lowers the asymmetry.
  • [45:09] Mike: True, although it doesn't, it doesn't really, because the because
  • [45:14] Mike: the activity the woman has to do is enough. More complicated
  • [45:17] Mike: that, in my experience,
  • [45:20] Mike: pretty universally my experience is that, like,
  • [45:22] Mike: it's much better for the guy.
  • [45:26] Keith: I'm like Picasso down there. Thio deploying an array of
  • [45:44] Mike: It's not like that. It's just that, like, she can't pay attention because she's busy. Like it's one thing to have a partner who, like likes to have. Like, let's say she wants your Penis in her mouth while she's masturbating. That's a common thing, right? Because it turns them on just like so. But But she's not having to blow you. It's just in there. And she could sort of suck on it.
  • [45:53] Mike: It's a totally no no. Okay. What I would say is, what I would suggest to you is, you could offer to do 69 where she does that. She simply suckles on it
  • [45:56] Mike: while you perform Orel from beneath
  • [45:59] Keith: how to make sense. Propose. I
  • [46:01] Keith: suggest that
  • [46:02] Mike: mhm
  • [46:05] Mike: Well, you could just maneuver the position. I see What you're saying is that you
  • [46:12] Keith: know, I understand how to get into the position, but how do I tell you need to focus, you know,
  • [46:20] Mike: just just just you know, you could just say something that you could use your dirty talk, your burgeoning dirty talk. Just just hold it in your mouth. I just wanna lick you
  • [46:23] Keith: right now. We're not We're We decided when we
  • [46:25] Mike: were like
  • [46:27] Mike: your moist, moist.
  • [46:31] Keith: Uh Okay. So Okay,
  • [46:41] Keith: so a couple things here. I don't really have much interest in trying to eat. Someone's asked, but I understand this is a thing that some women like.
  • [46:42] Keith: Ah,
  • [46:45] Mike: yeah. One of the problem with Go ahead.
  • [46:58] Keith: Okay. For starters, I don't think this is the kind of thing you should just spring on someone I think you need to talk about before. Like, you don't wanna be in this situation where you're like, Oh, I really want you to eat my ass in the middle of a sexual encounter. And then the persons like, Oh, um,
  • [47:08] Keith: no, that's gonna be a pass, right? Like that. Kind of ruin the mood. Right. So I think you need to talk about it before you don't need to Just, like, insinuate your asshole toward their mouth. I don't think that's gonna work.
  • [47:09] Keith: Ah,
  • [47:27] Mike: right. I mean, this always thinks feels like an activity that some that's normally kind of animated by the the person who's going to give it sort of moves. They're not the person who's going to receive it. Um, and so, yeah, like the thing about it is It's like this is pretty far down that scale. I mean, for example,
  • [47:31] Mike: I look, nobody advocates for surprise anal, but, like, sort of
  • [47:33] Mike: in the moment,
  • [47:50] Mike: you know, moving toward doing anal, maybe getting some lube out, like whatever that I can understand. So it's like, but this one, it's like, Yeah, you're you're asking them to lick your butthole, and it's like, you know, they're gonna wanna have they're gonna have some questions about. Like when you last showered when you last pooped
  • [48:01] Mike: some basic things, they're gonna wonder. And like I got to say, like, if that if that I got asked to me in the moment e I would not know how to react, I'd be like, Oh, I don't know. Is it What?
  • [48:04] Keith: Is it possible to get it
  • [48:10] Keith: clean enough down there that your tongue will not protect any fecal matter?
  • [48:18] Mike: I don't know. I don't know, man. I I think I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. I mean, obviously people say online that it is, um,
  • [48:29] Keith: but like one thing, one thing I notice from time to time when I go down on someone's vagina is that the first few licks have? No.
  • [48:30] Keith: Uh huh.
  • [48:35] Keith: Trace amounts off what I presume is here in.
  • [48:37] Mike: Okay,
  • [48:40] Mike: so does that make you feel
  • [48:46] Keith: fine? I mean, you just powered through it, and it's gone. Uh, what's what's like an analogy here?
  • [48:49] Mike: It's not your favorite thing, though.
  • [48:51] Keith: No, it's not.
  • [48:56] Keith: It's not that bad. It's really not that bad, right? It's trace amounts. It's fine.
  • [48:58] Keith: And
  • [49:01] Keith: yeah, somebody told me years ago,
  • [49:10] Keith: or I read it somewhere that it's a good idea tohave wet wipes in your bathroom so that the woman can clean up beforehand.
  • [49:25] Mike: Yeah, the problem with that. I've read that too. Um, and what I thought to myself is like, I'm like, given the choice between urine, like you said you And like, the wet wipe, whatever's in their, like I'm not sure actually.
  • [49:27] Mike: Let the wet wipe is better. I mean, she
  • [49:33] Keith: really rubbing alcohol or Yuria? I'm not sure. Yeah, like what I prefer is
  • [49:43] Mike: like eyes like water. Like a water like a shower. Something that washes it out. Yeah, exactly. Like a delusion. That's what I'm going for.
  • [49:47] Mike: Um, yeah, yeah, like I don't like I like. I mean,
  • [49:50] Mike: I don't really understand.
  • [49:59] Mike: It'll be interesting to have somebody on the show who likes receiving Anna Lingus. I don't It's difficult for me to understand that I have in my life received anal Angus
  • [50:04] Mike: and, um uh, it was fine. Like it didn't.
  • [50:06] Mike: It was fine. You think there's
  • [50:11] Keith: any skill there? Do you think that, like, um, or skilled person might have made you feel differently?
  • [50:13] Keith: I guess it's hard to say
  • [50:25] Mike: I don't think so, because it's like because I just don't think that, like, whatever feeling other people are feeling from their anise, I'm not getting Yeah, I mean, like, the only thing I haven't unknown for me is prostate like, but the anise like I don't think
  • [50:28] Mike: I don't think that's going to do anything for me,
  • [50:30] Mike: even in control realize,
  • [50:33] Keith: even even when combined with a blow job or something.
  • [50:34] Keith: I guess that's the only thing
  • [50:48] Mike: of trying to think of the context. I think that was the context and the thing is the problem with it, like Is that like now it's sort of like, Yeah, it's what's the rusty trombone? Is that what it's called?
  • [50:54] Keith: Oh, when you're receiving Anna Lingus while being given a hand job
  • [51:04] Mike: I think that's Yeah. You have to be on your knees. I think it's I think it's one of those frat boy descriptions for a sex act. But yeah, it's then like the situation where you say have stuck,
  • [51:15] Mike: Let's say your right index finger up her butt. And now you have to remember that because your right index fingers up her butt and you don't wanna put it in your mouth in her mouth. And so right, So now you have this right? And so, like, there's this.
  • [51:26] Mike: Yeah, there's this like thing. So it's almost like you need to mark that finger. And so now, now you have to mark her mouth. You're like, Oh, like how? Yeah, How long do I have to wait here before I feel comfortable kissing you?
  • [51:39] Mike: Eso I really view it is like a clear negative. But I mean, I take this woman at her word that she really enjoys it. Um I mean, yeah, it makes me wonder like, Well, why doesn't she just do anal? Is there something else he could touch it with?
  • [51:41] Keith: Yeah,
  • [51:46] Keith: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I took. I did. I haven't
  • [51:52] Keith: experimented enough. I haven't even experimented that much with, like, touching my own asshole while masturbating. So I don't really know.
  • [52:01] Keith: I don't have any interest in trying anti Lingus, but it's possible that there's some huge thing I'm missing about my sexuality and that that could really have things up. Oh, I
  • [52:18] Mike: did. I have to tell you what This was very long ago, but I just remember this. I did one time. Because here's here's a tip for you. You can try this. I did one time. Yeah, when I had a when I had I was masturbating and no, sorry. I needed to poop.
  • [52:39] Mike: All right. I had to go. I'm sorry. This could go under fecal matters. E had to poop. And it was one of those situations where was pretty large. And it was in It was, you know, getting close to the back door. And I decided that I thought to myself Yes, it is. And I thought to myself, Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I could masturbate right now in this poop should be rubbing against my prostate.
  • [52:53] Mike: Oh, interesting. This was a long time ago. I was pretty young and and and so I did that and it. Okay, it did not improve the sensation significantly. And it was it. Change it.
  • [53:01] Mike: Yes, Yes, it did. It was touching, and it changed. And I will tell you how. I'm sure it was touching my prostate. Um, when I ejaculated,
  • [53:03] Mike: it didn't come out
  • [53:05] Mike: the normal. Like it.
  • [53:09] Mike: Like the contractions didn't work as well as they normally dio like. It was like,
  • [53:12] Keith: Maybe that's because your fingers sphincter.
  • [53:49] Mike: I wasn't I was just I don't think I was. I mean, it's a long time ago. I know. My impression was that it was mawr that, like, somehow there was something pushing against the prostate, making it so like the muscles couldn't sort of pulse the same way. It was like more of a stream. Yeah, that happened. And the other thing that I remember, but this is this is the main thing. I remember the main thing I remember. Was it It sort of hurt because, like, what happens is like you have a a poop in there, and, you know, you kind of wanna push. But when you when you ejaculate like, it's like you're closing Uranus, right? And and so it hurt it was basically basically what I remember. It was like our our wow. Anyway,
  • [53:56] Keith: E that's sort of interesting. You that way. Yeah, yeah. Thanks. Thanks for your
  • [54:07] Keith: You're you're dabbling into prostate play. I mean, there are scores, legions, You know, millions of men out there who enjoy prostate place. So it must be a thing. I've just never tried, so I don't know.
  • [54:09] Keith: Um,
  • [54:16] Keith: yeah, it is different than Anna's play. And I haven't even really messed around with Anna's play.
  • [54:22] Keith: Occasionally, A little bit if I masturbate in the shower, but yeah, I don't know. I feel like
  • [54:27] Mike: Wait, What? So when you're in the shower and beating off, you sometimes will give yourself a reach around.
  • [54:31] Keith: I problem. It's not a reach around because it's myself.
  • [54:39] Keith: Uh uh. I mean, I probably masturbate in the shower. I could count the number of times on one hand in a year
  • [54:40] Keith: on, then
  • [54:43] Mike: that's because the water washes off the lubricant.
  • [54:46] Keith: I just don't
  • [54:47] Mike: like, is it? Well, there's a
  • [54:51] Keith: number of things. One, it's It's impossible to look at porn while in the shower. So that Z
  • [54:54] Mike: you don't have a waterproof phone?
  • [55:06] Keith: No. Do you also, I don't like. I don't like looking at porn on my phone. I know this is like a thing that a lot of people dio but I really prefer using a computer monitor. I like, I like that. A high res.
  • [55:12] Mike: You've got one of those, uh, ultra widescreen monitors. E
  • [55:15] Keith: I have a 13 inch widescreen.
  • [55:22] Mike: Okay, but I think that I think they get a lot bigger than that these days. But maybe I'm wrong, actually, but, uh,
  • [55:35] Mike: yeah, but the you know, I mean, I think that, like Okay, if you don't like, if the small screen doesn't work for you. But that could be nice. And like, Yeah, I mean, most phones sold today like, aren't gonna break if a little water runs over them. It's if you you
  • [55:43] Keith: have to, like, prop it up against something, and you can't, you know, change the channel, so to speak. It's just not
  • [55:45] Mike: well, you just have to keep one hand dry.
  • [55:58] Keith: See, this is all complicated. And then how am I supposed to massage my anus if I'm doing that? Anyway, the point is I've only eh? So what? We decided I masturbate in the shower like a few times a year And then, like, yeah, I probably
  • [56:06] Keith: touch my a nus, like, maybe once every five times. So yeah, it's like a once a year type of thing. And so, like, I just haven't experimented with it. Enoughto have a strong opinion.
  • [56:10] Mike: Why do you even do that at all? Like you must do it because it's good.
  • [56:21] Keith: It's curiosity. It's not negative. It's not. It's not that amplifying. It's okay for you. For you. Is it neutral? Negative or not positive enough to bother with.
  • [56:27] Mike: So the prostate thing was net negative, although it was sort of interesting and you don't know
  • [56:34] Keith: other other than the one time you had a huge thio brushing against your prostate. You haven't You haven't attempted. You doesn't
  • [56:38] Mike: have to be that big. Like I don't think it was okay, Ugo.
  • [56:39] Keith: Okay.
  • [56:53] Mike: And then But in terms of like getting an A Lingus, um, it just wasn't It just was nothing. It wasn't very interesting. And it was like, uh, yeah, I mean, I e yeah, I just moved on. Don't you know? I didn't I didn't express any positive,
  • [56:54] Mike: um,
  • [56:58] Mike: whatever sentiment about it. And so she didn't I think it happened, like twice. It's
  • [57:02] Keith: probably not a thing that most women are dying to Dio. Although,
  • [57:05] Mike: I don't know she I think I don't think I asked for it.
  • [57:06] Keith: Hm.
  • [57:11] Keith: I wonder if giving anal Angus is a kink. It must be It must be
  • [57:20] Mike: everything. I think it probably relates to the fact that she and I had had anal sex a fair number of times. And so she probably like, was curious.
  • [57:28] Mike: I don't know, but that probably issues like like something like that. Yeah, there's probably some Yeah,
  • [57:35] Mike: I don't know, but I wasn't that interested. And yeah, it makes me think I wonder if maybe she was heading toward pegging. Um, but I close the door to
  • [57:42] Keith: U s. So to speak. You. Yeah, you. You nipped that one in the in the bud. But
  • [57:45] Mike: you can try out the poop thing anyway. Go on.
  • [58:00] Keith: Yeah, I think. Look, I think we're done here. I don't I don't have any tips for her. Other than that, she should bring it up with her with her partner before sex. Not during. Okay. All right. I think we have time for one more topic here. This person says, um,
  • [58:13] Keith: making my boyfriend come on me. Is it weird if I ask my boyfriend to jack off on me without sex? I love the idea of guys masturbating, and I want mine to Jack off in front of me and finish on my ass or face.
  • [58:16] Keith: Uh,
  • [58:20] Mike: why is that weird? It's a little unusual. Yeah,
  • [58:21] Keith: I mean,
  • [58:24] Keith: she just likes being
  • [58:30] Keith: submissive or demeaned in that way, Like what's what's what's going on.
  • [58:31] Mike: I mean,
  • [58:36] Mike: it's really hard for me to think about these things because, like as a man,
  • [58:43] Mike: when you think about semen on a woman 100% of the time,
  • [58:47] Mike: unless you're in an M m f or an M M M threesome,
  • [59:04] Mike: um, know anything. There's no woman mmf you're not going to be. If you're gonna, you're gonna be in your post, not clarity when that's happening. So it's really hard to me like so. So basically like any time that I've noted on a woman's body, it's always kind of a hassle, like so it makes me kind of I don't actually I don't really understand,
  • [59:13] Mike: Okay, I'm thinking from the guy's perspective, but I don't really understand guys wanting to nut on girls bodies generally because the problem is that, like five seconds later, you have this sort of hassle to deal with. It's much
  • [59:19] Keith: better clean up, like you could go get paper towels. But then it leaves like a sort of sticky trail like it's just not
  • [59:21] Keith: Yeah, it's It's better to put it somewhere.
  • [59:37] Mike: And if you're not on her ass, then you definitely have to deal with it. What's she going to dio, right? It's like you're basically now. Okay, But this is different. This is a woman who says she wants to have him do it now. Okay, So having him do it on her chest, I could sort of understand because she wants to look at his facial expressions,
  • [59:46] Mike: right? Maybe maybe much of the time. She's maybe much of the time she's giving blows to him, and so she doesn't can't actually see him because he's orgasm.
  • [59:49] Keith: Understand that she will stimulus. That's different from usual.
  • [59:59] Mike: It's an honor, but like that's not even that so. I mean, they honestly, like I don't It's hard to understand why. Why, for a woman having a guy ejaculate on your butt would be any different from him, just like squirting on your butt with a
  • [60:22] Keith: squirt gun. Well, she says, Look, I don't know why I'm like analyzing word by word. This person sentences, but she says, I want mine to Jack off in front of me, which implies she could see and then she says and finish on my ass, her face. So maybe she would just turn around at the end. So this supports the theory of the of the visual stimulus. I mean, look, is the is the analogy here for a man like I would I would enjoy watching a partner
  • [60:25] Keith: masturbate herself.
  • [60:33] Keith: But let's say she was like a really aggressive squirter. I would not want her to squirt all over me. That's not
  • [60:41] Keith: something I want. If it gets on, if it gets onto me. Incidentally, that's fine. But I'm not craving that.
  • [60:44] Keith: Is that right? I mean, is that right analogy?
  • [61:00] Mike: I'm not sure, because it might Well, that that would just imply like, yeah, one of the things I'm not sure about here is like whether she wants to sort of, like, be submissive. And so we have, like, something kind of gross happened or like, for example, although I've had a vigorous debate before about this. About like
  • [61:40] Mike: when? When Ignace is interacted with who is truly submissive because, like you could argue like let's say I'm licking and anise. You could say On the one hand the person receiving it is submissive because Uranus is like, sort of embarrassing or whatever. And it's being interacted with your other hand. You could say that the guy who's looking at is submissive because he's looking at an honest. Actually, you could argue that it's the ultimate, like, fully submissive. I, like both people, are submissive, right? And the reason I bring that up it's like when she says, Come on her ass like I don't know if she means on the cheek. Or actually and you see this a lot in porn, like actually ejaculate on her butthole, which I always and again it gets back to. I think I always see is pretty submissive for the recipient because it's like
  • [61:46] Mike: I don't know. It's like your butthole is like a target. It just feels submissive to me.
  • [61:50] Keith: Yeah, yeah, I mean, I I'm with you on both of
  • [61:53] Mike: those ejaculated on women's, but holes ever.
  • [61:55] Keith: No, I haven't
  • [62:02] Keith: Never. I mean, it's it's dripped down. Or or maybe some has hit that, but I've never Okay, I've never used it as my primary target.
  • [62:12] Mike: But you do see that in porn, right? I'm right about that. Like like, yeah, it's like they're in doggy style, but he doesn't want to give her a cream pie, so to speak. So he pulls out,
  • [62:19] Mike: and then it's like, either left, right or middle. And if it's middle, like a lot of times like, yeah, I'll go right there. Yeah, it just feels like,
  • [62:24] Mike: you know, But maybe that's submissive for him because it's like, Oh, you had to interact with Uranus.
  • [62:25] Mike: I'm not sure.
  • [62:39] Keith: Yeah, I mean, I probably Yeah, I would argue that the person being jerked off on is more submissive. I take your point. Your point here is interesting. It's not. It's not as crystal clear as it might seem on first blood. Well,
  • [62:45] Mike: actually, to be fair in the argument, I was arguing that the see I was arguing that the
  • [62:57] Mike: which was I was arguing the recipient of the anal, Angus. Well, no, no, it was the other person that argued the other one, and then I at some point concluded, Like I think they're both submissive zone. I'm starting to think about Is there an activity where both people are dominant?
  • [63:03] Mike: And I think I fell asleep. I that was it. I finished my sex sex thoughts for the day, but yeah,
  • [63:07] Keith: you could meditate on that. And if if you come up with anything, you could let us know.