Your Mileage May Vary: Sex Spitoons, People Tasting Semen (Again), Arousal Smell, How Keith Masturbates

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[0:15] Mike: people people should really stop doing oral sex is just gross. Think about it. They should just cut it out. It's just disgusting. Like there's no way to make this clean, it feels good. Not for you, Not the cunnilingus doesn't feel good for you. You just feel like look you should get a spittoon.
[0:17] Mike: Yeah.
[0:23] Mike: Yeah.
[0:30] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage. May vary. We talk about sex and relationships. I am keith. My co host is mike, how's it going? Mike?
[0:31] Mike: I'm doing great
[0:39] Keith: thrilled to hear that. So we're always looking for feedback on the show in particular negative feedback so we can attempt to do something about it.
[0:51] Keith: And so to that end we offer $15 for any feedback received at y mmV pod at gmail dot com. Let us know how you'd like us to pay you in your email uh Venmo cash up whatever you want.
[1:01] Keith: We've got a good pile of outrageous things to discuss today but we start each episode with a mic narrated porn viewing and analysis. Any lead in for us here mike
[1:09] Mike: Yeah, we've got a couple of points are pretty different, they're pretty different from each other. The first one is while they're both there's there's some subreddit that I find a lot of this stuff on.
[1:12] Mike: These are both from a more
[1:19] Mike: female oriented subreddit. Although I think both I would think just naively that both would be kind of repellent to women.
[1:22] Keith: You don't want to disclose what separated it is.
[1:38] Mike: Uh I'm not even sure, I'm not sure because this is like there's so many porn subreddit that I access that. It's like I have to go through my like dictionary here. Um Yeah, so we'll post these in the show notes as we always do and
[1:49] Mike: well also you know, sort of tell people count them in and and and tell you where to jump to in the video. First ones like a just a gift. It's pretty short on. The second one is a more uh full throated video.
[1:51] Mike: So you got the links up there, keith.
[1:54] Keith: Yeah, I have this cute up. I'm going to start the first
[2:06] Mike: one. No hang on, hang on, hang on. Before we started, before we start the first one I just want to read a comment from. Uh So I guess I do know what suffering because I have a comment here
[2:10] Mike: but well, you know, so she is this comment, I'm assuming it's a woman but
[2:12] Mike: whatever
[2:18] Mike: says, I really love the way she coordinated her eye makeup with the color of his balls
[2:21] Mike: and I really found that evocative. So wow
[2:36] Keith: sure have not started this video. I have not started this video, but I have this still shot. And yeah, that's a really astute comment by the by the comment or her makeup is Yeah, it's sort of like uh like a dark purple and
[2:38] Mike: a little yellow.
[2:39] Keith: Yeah,
[2:43] Keith: it's like the exact same pigmentation as his balls,
[2:48] Mike: right. I mean the yellow, I think matches her underwear more, but whatever. Okay, so why don't you counted in? Let's let's watch.
[2:53] Keith: All right, I'm going to start this in 321 starting.
[3:02] Mike: Alright, it's a just a woman's mouth and a well face and a penis and she was stroking it in her mouth and now the guy is holding her head and he's now
[3:07] Mike: pulsating in her mouth. She has her eyes either closed or just sort of dimly open,
[3:13] Mike: still going, what's something is being delivered there directly into her mouth
[3:19] Mike: and she's clearly, her cheeks are sort of concave, she rolled her eyes a little, maybe she's getting tired of this
[3:25] Mike: um cheeks are a little concave, she's obviously sort of sucking and he really
[3:27] Mike: there's a lot going on there.
[3:31] Mike: Um He's getting every last drop out.
[3:36] Mike: Okay. I think she's done and uh yeah, as they always do, she doesn't
[3:44] Mike: dispose of it immediately. It's still sort of in her mouth and sloshing around. I think we can stop here. This is pretty much the end anyway. Okay.
[3:44] Mike: Yeah,
[3:54] Mike: this is from my female oriented subreddit, I want to remind you. So this is like the premise here is this is something that a woman enjoys watching. Do you have thoughts on that?
[3:59] Keith: Yeah, okay. All right, so first I want to give some general thoughts. So I think
[4:09] Keith: this man generated, we're meant to think that this man generated a lot of semen. He definitely generated some at the very end of the video, You can see there's some in her mouth.
[4:10] Keith: Um
[4:14] Keith: But yeah, I mean he seems to pump like eight or 9 or 15 times
[4:21] Keith: and she, she's, you know, champ about it. She's really she hoover's it all down
[4:26] Keith: as for why this is compelling for women. It's something about,
[4:29] Keith: yeah, being able to give a man
[4:33] Keith: pleasure, I think,
[4:39] Mike: right? But I mean people, Yeah, but there's some specifics here, like there's okay, there's a specific genre here
[4:45] Mike: at play, which is, and you see it to some extent in like cream pie videos,
[4:50] Mike: um where they're so, I mean, the natural male impulses to
[5:01] Mike: penetrate maximally at that point, that's like the normal thing. And so for example, for cream pie videos, like it's pretty obvious that it's not that fun for the guy to make because in case people haven't watched these, like typically the guy will pull like
[5:04] Mike: almost all the way out and then
[5:05] Mike: nut
[5:19] Mike: and then, you know that way you get to see the semen dripping out, which I don't, I don't actually understand who that's supposed to be compelling for, but they do it constantly. Also, I really don't like the thing at the end were she's sloshing around in her mouth. I mean, I guess the idea is to show that it wasn't fake.
[5:27] Mike: Although the timing of the, I mean, why would it doesn't need to be fake? It's a guy like women, it makes much more sense for women to be faking orgasms anyway,
[5:41] Mike: so there's this, so there's this whole genre where like you just show just the head, just the tip, just the tips in the mouth of the vagina or whatever and you see the penis pulsating and that seems to be something that women like to say.
[5:42] Keith: Yeah, okay,
[5:49] Keith: first off, there's a gap between what feels best in practice and what makes the most
[5:52] Keith: compelling, most arousing thing to see
[5:56] Keith: on video, right? So with cream pies, the reason why
[6:04] Keith: they want to make a whole display of of the load is that it allows the man or the woman to sort of fantasize about.
[6:21] Keith: Yeah, they like seeing that semen. Yeah, the physical evidence makes it easier to get aroused too. Even though that isn't the thing that the thing that feels most good is like going as balls deep as you can and getting it up in there. And I think that's for the God as well. Yeah, but I think that's what the woman wants as well.
[6:23] Keith: Yeah,
[6:32] Mike: I'm not sure there's any, let's let's let's narrow it to the BJ here. Like I'm not sure there's a wanted thing, like what she wants is for him to put it somewhere else, right?
[6:36] Mike: I mean that our marriage is in terms of like, well, I mean
[6:41] Mike: just talking in terms of like raw sensation, like what's enjoyable, Like she wouldn't,
[6:43] Mike: she wouldn't order it to drink at a restaurant.
[6:44] Mike: Um,
[6:49] Mike: but like, okay, so that you have to inject the emotional component of like
[6:54] Mike: her enjoying participating in the act. And I think that somehow like maybe seeing the,
[7:01] Mike: the uh, you know, the, the alternative would be for her to jam it as far in her mouth as she can write.
[7:03] Mike: I think what she wants alternative,
[7:11] Keith: I think what she wants is to maximally deliver pleasure. Like I think that's the point of blowjobs as like this submissive
[7:15] Keith: delivering of pleasure for the man, they like feeling
[7:24] Keith: empowered the power they have over the man that they're able to deliver that pleasure. I think that's the main drive for giving blow jobs for women
[7:28] Mike: okay. But maybe it's that if you show the man
[7:35] Mike: very deep in her mouth at the conclusion that that is like uncomfortable or something and then therefore kind of repellent.
[7:37] Mike: Whereas like this, this, uh,
[7:40] Mike: this view is like more compelling somehow.
[7:43] Mike: Look, I mean, I don't really understand like,
[7:54] Mike: like on this subreddit, the women will talk about like how attractive the man's penis is and you're kind of like, I thought that was not a normal thing for women to say and they'll, they'll get into that stuff.
[7:57] Keith: This is one of this is a tolerable
[7:59] Keith: penis to look at,
[8:01] Keith: okay,
[8:14] Keith: this guy, you know? Well for starters, he's mostly shaved, so you don't have that like nightmare of hair that men often have down there and you know, it's a reasonable shape I guess,
[8:17] Keith: right?
[8:19] Mike: It's normally shaped.
[8:20] Mike: Yeah.
[8:26] Keith: Yeah. I wonder, Yeah. What, like, uh what an ugly penis versus a beautiful penises. I don't know
[8:29] Keith: what constitutes that.
[8:32] Mike: Well, I mean, there's some that are like, just
[8:36] Mike: just really messed up looking like it looks like something went wrong.
[8:38] Mike: Um Sure.
[8:44] Keith: But generally the dudes that are willing to have their dick on camera don't have a right angle. Or
[8:50] Mike: it depends like some of the, some of the guys who have really big penises, like they kind of look weird, right?
[8:52] Mike: My experience.
[8:53] Mike: Yeah.
[8:54] Mike: Yeah. Well, they're sort of like a
[8:57] Keith: disproportionate or something.
[8:58] Mike: Yeah.
[9:00] Mike: Okay, anyway, okay, Or
[9:03] Keith: do you have to have more to say on this, or should we move on to our next video?
[9:07] Mike: I don't really, I mean, like, I, I do find you find this compelling, right?
[9:08] Keith: Yeah.
[9:10] Keith: Yeah, I do.
[9:11] Mike: Okay.
[9:17] Mike: Even though it's interesting because it's mostly just a guy's dick.
[9:24] Keith: Well, yes, but, but but I'm placing myself in his shoes, you know, I'm imagining this woman
[9:25] Keith: being
[9:29] Keith: as thrilled as this woman appears to be to give me a blow job,
[9:31] Mike: right? Yeah.
[9:33] Mike: She does seem to be at least
[9:40] Mike: uh at the high end of tolerating tolerating it. Maybe, maybe even enjoying it. Yeah, let's move on to the second one there. It
[9:47] Keith: is a good point though. There's no female nudity at all in this. Like she is. Well, she's wearing panties, but she's not wearing a bra, but like, you can never see
[9:52] Keith: just like quickly going through. Yeah, we never see a nipple,
[10:01] Mike: maybe in a future episode, I can torment you with this, but like there is a genre of hand job videos that's on a different subreddit
[10:05] Mike: um where you can't tell the gender of the hand
[10:07] Keith: well,
[10:18] Keith: But I mean, I feel, I can't, I feel like, Okay, listen, I feel like if you showed me, you know, 100 men's hands and women's hands, I would get like 90% correct.
[10:27] Mike: Sure. But they're like, and look, let me be clear that any time, this is just a general rule that any time you cannot tell the gender of something in a porn, it's a guy.
[10:28] Mike: So I assume they're all men.
[10:42] Mike: That's just my, my operating assumption. But I'm just saying that like just by looking and yeah, I mean they shave the knuckles, probably like they're probably like, they do various things, you know, they have like a pompous stone that they rub it with or whatever.
[10:43] Keith: They moisturize their
[10:47] Mike: skin. Oh, for sure.
[10:55] Keith: Yeah. Okay. I would be interested to know if like watching an androgen his hand give a hand job is arousing to me.
[10:57] Keith: I want to say no, but I don't know.
[11:16] Mike: This is the thing. I mean if you're not sure. It's just like, I mean, you probably could do a really tight shot on this particular video and just do the lips and you would be unsure. The problem is at least for a man, I think when you when you become uncertain at least I get very suspicious. So it actually is. I don't I don't like it because of that. Anyway. This
[11:19] Keith: it's like the Danny Valley. Okay. Alright. Next video.
[11:20] Keith: Mhm.
[11:37] Mike: It's gay valley, not uncanny. Okay, bye bye. Maybe. Yeah. So this next video, we're going to start a little bit into it at three minutes, 40 seconds. This is more on the sort of like, it's from the same subreddit, but this is more like the kind of repellent access of like why?
[11:39] Mike: Why would anybody watch this?
[11:44] Mike: Um you probably just from the steel frame here. I can see it. We'll watch maybe 45 seconds of it. So I
[11:47] Keith: can I can read the title to
[11:48] Keith: um
[11:59] Mike: Yeah, but it's it's weirder than that. It's weirder than the title, by the way, is uh passionate, role reversal, switch, sensual strap on pegging while fucking DP dildo cock. Which is not
[12:01] Mike: english
[12:09] Keith: there. Exactly. But they're going for search engine optimization there. Get all the keywords in there.
[12:10] Mike: Yes,
[12:16] Mike: But this this section of it's not exactly, that's only a five minute video, but we'll start 340 into and see. So, don't you count it down.
[12:21] Keith: All right. I'm ready. I'm going to start in 321 starting.
[12:22] Mike: So
[12:31] Mike: a man and a woman are both bent over with their butts toward each other. So they're facing away and the woman appears to be enjoying it a lot but it's unclear why or how
[12:36] Mike: and now they're sort of grinding against each other and he's reached back to grab
[12:42] Mike: her but okay, yeah, you can see his penis flopping around so he doesn't have an erection.
[12:46] Mike: They switch scenes and now they're going to be doing something more traditional
[12:48] Mike: so we can stop there.
[12:51] Mike: Yeah, so I'm really unclear as to what the
[12:53] Mike: look again, this is
[12:56] Mike: what do they do now oriented?
[12:57] Mike: So
[13:12] Mike: I think that this was the premise was from the not from the sort of gibberish title premise here is that there's a strap on involved but they decided to rotate the strap around around so that instead of her
[13:15] Mike: the woman operating like a man in the strap on scenario
[13:20] Mike: and you can see from, if you click around in the video that is sort of generally right.
[13:21] Mike: Um
[13:23] Mike: they rotated around so that like
[13:25] Mike: their butt to butt
[13:29] Mike: and she has something attached to her but that's going into his butt
[13:35] Mike: and then she's acting like she's super aroused by it, which makes no sense.
[13:38] Mike: Yeah, she might be, maybe it's a double ended dildo.
[13:43] Keith: Yeah, it could be, oh actually yeah this says DP dildo.
[13:44] Mike: No, maybe that's what it is
[13:49] Keith: but like would they be going from her vagina to his anus
[13:50] Keith: I guess I think so
[13:58] Keith: they could be going Aniston is potentially although the angle the angle looks like it's a vagina anus I think.
[14:04] Mike: Yeah. I mean I'm assuming that her reactions are all simulated, but if they were not simulated it would make more sense. More sense to be
[14:06] Mike: V. two A as it were.
[14:09] Keith: Okay. But your main question,
[14:15] Keith: I mean look we can we can litigate exactly what's going on here. But your main question is why is this arousing to women
[14:17] Mike: or to anyone? I mean I I think,
[14:19] Keith: yeah, this is not arousing to me at all.
[14:32] Mike: Yeah, I think this is concrete concrete lee repellent. It's not just repellent because like I'm straight and it's something gay. It's not repellent because it's a strap on it. It's repellant. Because like there's nothing it's just like why why would anybody ever do this position?
[14:33] Mike: Mhm.
[14:47] Keith: Yeah. I mean there's a little bit of a problem in that we don't know what quote unquote. This is let's assume for the sake of conversation that they're they're penetrating each other with a with a double sided dildo and
[14:49] Keith: she's
[14:53] Keith: her vagina is penetrated in his asshole is penetrated.
[14:58] Keith: I don't know how this would work, wouldn't it just sort of like slide back and forth or like
[14:58] Keith: Mhm.
[15:07] Keith: Like does it like just get to her cervix and that's sort of like the mount point and then yeah, I don't know how this works technically. But this is not
[15:10] Keith: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know who
[15:12] Keith: yeah,
[15:17] Keith: who's enjoying this? And this I guess. I mean she's the camera man,
[15:24] Mike: not even the cameraman, like there's just Yeah, it's good. It's it's actually sort of like there should be a genre of porn where it's like just nobody's having any fun.
[15:27] Mike: It's just terrible nous
[15:31] Keith: Well, I mean, I think that's actually porn, right? Like most people need to be having fun.
[15:45] Mike: Fair point, Fair point. This is this is this is porn very to thrill. Uh actually is another section of this porn that I saw just when I was clicking around trying, like you were to figure out what's going on, where she has a harness on a strap on and she's fucking his mouth with it.
[15:50] Mike: And that also seems like something where there's
[15:56] Mike: Yeah, you're removing the traditional benefit. I suppose. The only thing would be like some sort of submission thing for him,
[15:58] Keith: right? She likes dominating him,
[16:01] Keith: or maybe he likes to be dominated,
[16:05] Keith: but it's a non sexual, it's like, yeah, there's no like erogenous
[16:08] Keith: thing going on for either party in that situation.
[16:14] Mike: Yeah. This is just like him practicing giving a blow on a dildo while she's
[16:16] Mike: sort of there, she's there.
[16:21] Mike: So he's near her genitals while it's happening anyway. Yeah, I mean uh
[16:24] Mike: pretty shocking. Strange horns.
[16:30] Keith: Would women, I don't know if you read the comments on this on this porn, but maybe they liked that
[16:34] Keith: she's penetrating him somehow. That
[16:39] Mike: this this point actually was like from a group of them that was linked to.
[16:45] Mike: So there weren't comments on the specific one? And some of the other ones were much more normal. I mean, there were there were
[16:48] Mike: like, like, for example, there was one that I did not
[16:51] Mike: I couldn't find it actually. I was going to torment you with it,
[16:55] Mike: but it was well, maybe not torment. Maybe you'd like it. It was
[16:59] Mike: she had him in the doggy style position, and then she was reaching around
[17:01] Mike: to give him a hand job.
[17:03] Keith: Well, well, also penetrating him.
[17:08] Mike: Yes. Which is a little tricky to do. And then he
[17:20] Mike: nuts all over their sheets, which is like, that's kind of gross. Um And then you got to the thing I was thinking about what that one is. I mean, people can imagine it. Maybe you could find it and send us the link
[17:28] Mike: because I couldn't find it. But the thing I was imagining with that is that like, the post nut clarity on that must be just really brutal for the guy,
[17:30] Mike: right? Yes.
[17:36] Mike: Think about it. Like, you're I mean, this is what I wonder this about gay guys. That whole thing of like, how do they,
[17:41] Mike: like whoever comes first? Like, really wins in a gay sexual scene.
[17:42] Mike: Right? Right.
[17:46] Mike: Because the other guys just like, now I just have a chicken. But
[17:49] Keith: right, It's a perfunctory. Yeah,
[17:50] Keith: Yeah,
[17:51] Keith: thrust.
[17:55] Keith: Okay. All right, let's move on. Uh let's see here,
[17:59] Keith: I have a bunch of topics here. The first two that I had
[18:01] Keith: were
[18:04] Keith: um related to
[18:09] Keith: the way people taste, so we can get into that. Do you want to talk about?
[18:16] Keith: I think we ended last episode and I think I promised some sort of conversation about the way I masturbate.
[18:16] Keith: Yeah.
[18:18] Keith: Do you remember It was a while ago?
[18:31] Mike: No, I don't remember. This is the thing where you stand up and you put a real roll of toilet paper out in front of you on the desk and then you jerk off and that way you never touch your own semen. So
[18:36] Keith: this is that is not what I wanted to get into, but I do want to defend myself on that. All right,
[18:41] Keith: okay, let's say you're at your computer and you're masturbating.
[18:43] Keith: If you don't stand up
[18:45] Keith: then
[18:50] Keith: where how do you how do you control where the semen goes?
[19:04] Mike: Well, I mean, how far does it go for you? I mean, usually, I think for most men, it's like, I mean unless yeah, I mean, yes, there is like kind of novelty porn around this. But I think for most men, like it's certainly not going to go in your face. It's going to go two inches, three inches. It
[19:09] Keith: gets all over your hand and like, you know, on the shaft of your penis and you know, maybe into your pubic hair
[19:12] Keith: and it kind of makes a mess,
[19:14] Mike: right? So you get like a paper towel and you wipe it up.
[19:17] Keith: Okay, But now you have like,
[19:23] Keith: you know, crust and your pubic hair and stuff, like, you know, you're not as clean as you were before you did that.
[19:25] Mike: Okay. Okay, I buy that. Sure. Okay,
[19:35] Keith: so by standing up and shooting your, your ejaculate away from your body, you're really being significantly cleaner.
[19:53] Mike: Yeah. Okay, so let me, let me make an analogy here. I think this relates to the repellents of keep saying that word, but you're the nastiness for you of your own semen. So let's make an analogy. This would be like, if you encountered some people you're familiar with this standing up and sitting down, toilet paper thing, Right?
[19:59] Mike: Yes. Like half of people just for our listeners, half of people
[20:03] Mike: wipe their, but sitting on the toilet and half of them stand up and wipe their, but, and like,
[20:07] Mike: since people don't watch each other poop very much,
[20:12] Mike: they don't, they're not aware of each other's existence. Right? So there's this weird, really discover
[20:14] Keith: white people would do the other thing, right? Yeah,
[20:29] Mike: right there, Like, whoa, other people do that. It's kind of interesting cause it's one of the few things or like, we don't have really media representations of it too much. Although I think to the extent there are media representations, they would definitely be seated and that's just because like in a film or whatever, they don't want to show the genitals
[20:36] Mike: if they can avoid it and so seat, it's easier. Um but anyway, so this would, so the analogy here that I'm coming up with would be,
[20:41] Mike: let's say there was a certain set of people that when they pooped instead of instead of being
[20:43] Mike: instead of letting the poop drop out of there, but
[20:58] Mike: they would sort of lie on their stomach poop, and then they would have to clean it off there, but because they poop up upward, and now they're poops just sitting there and they're like, well, it's not that big of a deal, I just take some toilet paper, I grab it and I put it in the toilet, and you're like, dude, why don't you just
[21:03] Mike: poop into the toilet and then you don't have to wipe similar analogous to just having to wipe the little,
[21:21] Mike: I assume you have to wipe like the tip of your cock to get a little bit of semen this left, but it's just it's it's analogous to wipe you out. Okay, so this is your in copper level of comprehension, and what I what I this relates in my mind, obviously to how gross you find your own semen, I don't find it as gross as you do, so it's like, I don't think it's that dirty,
[21:26] Mike: so I'm I'm indifferent between the two methodologies, but okay, okay,
[21:35] Keith: so when I masturbate, so I don't do that very often that the standing up masturbating, I do maybe once a week,
[21:39] Keith: and it's because I prefer to masturbate another way
[21:59] Mike: uh I think, I don't know, I think can I ask a question? Yes, but when you see the standing up thing, I just want to just want to, because I, because I think our listeners with like a picture of what is going on, You sit in a chair. So so let me just describe and see if it's right, You take your pants down part way,
[22:02] Mike: you sit in a chair with your
[22:04] Mike: material on your computer
[22:20] Mike: and you have one hand operating the mouse, the other hand on your cock. Because some important point which which hand is on the mouse? The left hand on your cock, right? Because you're left handed. Of course, a lot of men who are right handed, wind up developing left hand skills because the same issue.
[22:35] Mike: Um so then you stand up at some key moment, maybe you found the porn that you know is the nut porn and then you do your little trick with the paper towels or toilet paper, is that right? Do you roll out the toilet paper beforehand? So it's sitting there, it's like a, it's like the,
[22:46] Mike: the basket in front of a guillotine ready for them to receive the head or do you actually go through the trouble right, when you're kind of hot and heavy to put the toilet paper out, which which do
[22:52] Keith: I get it up beforehand and it's paper towel, toilet paper is far too narrow over one way? I don't have that kind of accuracy.
[22:59] Mike: Okay, so so so so if somebody were to like say, let's say there was an emergency outside your apartment and somebody came pounding on your door
[23:01] Mike: and found out the door was unlocked
[23:13] Mike: and opened it and they saw you sitting there. But there was toilet paper, like a three piece of paper kind of in a row on your on your desk. They know you were beating off. Well, that's the tell tale.
[23:18] Keith: Had they listened to this podcast? Yes, they would. They would be uh they were interesting. The smoking
[23:26] Mike: guns, interesting. Okay, okay, you would probably grab the toilet paper or the rather paper towel, not toilet paper. I'm not a heathen.
[23:28] Mike: Uh You
[23:44] Keith: like this too? I I have like a little bit of like internal debate every time. Like how much I should leave out? Should I leave out like four squares or three squares? And then like how far away should I stand? And then depending on the strength of the nut. Yeah, like sometimes
[23:51] Keith: I'll accidentally hit my monitor a little bit and I'm like uh this is embarrassing, but at least it's just embarrassing to myself.
[23:55] Mike: Do you fold the toilet paper over your toilet paper, paper towel?
[24:02] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. If I do it, if I don't then some will seep through like under my keyboard or onto my desk or whatever.
[24:06] Mike: Oh sorry, I didn't understand this. So you're a little
[24:09] Mike: line of paper towel. Actually goes over your keyboard, does it go onto your monitor?
[24:17] Keith: You know, it would be nice if I had a clip or something so that I could like bib my monitor, but there's no
[24:21] Keith: great way to do that. So yeah, I'll sort of prop it up a little bit
[24:27] Keith: and hopefully that creates a backstop for my first most powerful squirt, but not
[24:30] Keith: not always. Sometimes I don't get adequate
[24:35] Mike: paper towels, I feel like I feel like people should use the word spurt instead of squirt for that.
[24:45] Mike: Okay, spurt spurt feels more masculine. Okay, so so so now you're gonna tell me now, just so the only other thing I know about keith's masturbation, I know more than I should about this
[24:51] Mike: is that as a young man, keith essentially I think used a
[24:55] Mike: correctly got wrong here, but I think he used a um
[24:59] Mike: sleeping bag as a sort of junior level flesh light
[25:10] Mike: and then the sleeping bag got full of his nut because he didn't wash it and I guess it got burned or something. Um So I'm worried that this is going to result in like you fucking a pillow or something.
[25:13] Keith: This is I feel like this is fairly
[25:16] Keith: routine. Yeah, I'm the sleeping bag, I didn't
[25:29] Keith: I would I would like I would ride the sleeping bag and use it to like apply pressure to the other side of my cock. Anyway, I don't want to talk about sleeping bag, I'm not proud of of those moments of, by teenagers
[25:34] Mike: is by the way, by the way, But to the, to the, to the prospective parents out there, like
[25:41] Mike: some of the disease behaviors are due to like circumcision in my opinion. Like this is like, this is like a boy
[25:50] Mike: trying to figure out how do I beat this thing off when he doesn't have a mobile enough foreskin. Whereas for a guy like me a little bit circumcised, like it was just always very obvious because you don't
[26:09] Mike: because it's mobile and so it's like, it just functions properly. Whereas for guys who are more tightly circumcised, like you have to, you like how do I rub something against this? And I know it's, you can solve it, it's not a problem, but it's like, fuck you imagine the poor teenage boy he's getting, it's so complicated. Whereas like for a guy like me, it's like, oh, this is easy, but my body has all it needs.
[26:16] Keith: This was the perfect unintentional segue. So when I masturbate, I normally use,
[26:22] Keith: I've actually changed this recently, but for 25 years or whatever, I used
[26:27] Keith: uh either a t shirt or more ideally one of those, like,
[26:33] Keith: you know, running t shirts made out of that sort of wicking material
[26:38] Keith: and I wrap my cock it and then I can use that to stroke it
[26:46] Keith: and I never really, for a long time I sort of thought like well I'm doing this because it's cleaner, you know it catches most of the nut.
[26:47] Keith: Um
[26:59] Keith: But now after you know our last two or whatever years of conversation about access but more than two but our last decade of conversations about this. Yeah, I think it's because
[27:00] Keith: it gives me
[27:07] Keith: a more ideal friction surface to jerk off with like I can sort of slide
[27:12] Keith: back and forth with across my cock with uh this
[27:14] Keith: kind of material. Does that make sense?
[27:17] Mike: Yeah, it makes me sort of angry like your parents,
[27:27] Keith: well how are they supposed to know like you know you're circumcised too. I don't think my parents said like you know please make it as tight as possible. I think it's like sort of random when the doctor does.
[27:30] Mike: No, no my mom, my mom told him just a little off the tip.
[27:31] Mike: Really?
[27:35] Mike: Yeah, she was not, she wasn't, she wasn't
[27:40] Keith: like like are you serious? Because I want to ask, I don't know if I can I sort of asked my parents,
[27:44] Mike: you know she did because she told me that
[27:57] Mike: she wasn't, she didn't love. I mean look when you just they they take your baby away right? When you know after cutting the umbilical cord there's a little bit of time lag there, but I mean they take it away really little, I mean look it's newborn really early in the first,
[28:12] Mike: within the first like three hours of life, right? And they do this thing. And she was worried about like something bad going on. And the doctor was like, oh he assured her she would just he would just take off a little and that's what he said he did and he was right. So like honestly, like if you're gonna do it, I didn't know you could, if you're gonna do what I have is
[28:14] Keith: fine decisions.
[28:30] Mike: Yeah. I mean I like I like I'm sure maybe different or better to be intact, but like honestly it's to have never been really an issue because the foreskin slides properly for me. And like, yeah, like you should ask your parents about it because and also you're like, oh they didn't know your dad as a cock.
[28:32] Keith: Yeah. But
[28:35] Keith: mike I only realized.
[28:35] Keith: Mhm.
[28:42] Keith: Like what a what an onerous burden I've been carrying my whole life, like maybe within the last five years and my dad
[28:50] Keith: Was 30 when he had me. So, you know, maybe he hadn't yet had the epiphany to know that this is like a really important thing.
[28:51] Mike: Yeah.
[28:57] Keith: It is important. When do you remember when your son was born? Like
[29:06] Mike: what about? I said, no way we're not. I said, first of all I said, I said uh I said this is the dad's decision. Just straight up.
[29:15] Mike: That's this is definitely the dad's decision. I was like definitely not doing this because because my view is like if he wants it he can get it later and it's like oh it'll hurt more. It's like
[29:38] Mike: who cares? No pain no gain like it and there are some medical problems that can arise as a result of not being circumcised as pharmacists where like the it's not getting enough. Absolutely like there's really good drugs and yeah it'll hurt for a week. Okay I mean you know whatever but whatever two weeks that whatever the period of time it is but I mean fuck like you know this has been causing you problems for your entire life.
[29:40] Mike: It's just in a stupid as retarded.
[29:41] Mike: Anyway. I completely
[29:47] Keith: agree. I agree. I'll bring this up at the christmas dinner table will be like so
[30:01] Mike: absolutely something. I've been asked them if they asked if they were considered a cluttered ectomy is for your sister's like no that's disgusting. You're like what? Anyway. No I'm pretty I think it's it's pretty lame and like people don't realize that that it uh
[30:01] Mike: Mhm
[30:07] Mike: causes this sort of problem. Okay so so you have some use uh
[30:07] Mike: I have
[30:11] Keith: one more licking shirt. Yeah I've recently switched from
[30:14] Keith: um a wicking shirt too.
[30:15] Keith: Uh
[30:30] Keith: You know there's this fabric that they make boxer briefs out of lately. It's called modal. It's like a kind of cotton modal M. O. D. A. L. And it makes it's it's yeah it's you know material characteristics are
[30:31] Keith: more pleasurable.
[30:35] Mike: Let me ask you this if you are on the T. V. Show naked and afraid
[30:38] Mike: I assume you know that show right vaguely. Yeah
[30:58] Mike: Let's okay naked and afraid as a show where they uh I I think it's all fake but let's imagine it's fake in the sense of like something, right? Yeah. They drop you in some environments like you're supposed to, you have nothing or you have one item you bring from home and you're supposed to just forage and figure it out. And I think to some extent they do that. But on the other hand, they suspiciously on like day 10 tend to get some meat or something that like things about their suspicious.
[30:59] Mike: Anyway.
[31:11] Mike: You're on naked and afraid. Let's say it's usually a man and a woman you're naked. Let's say the woman doesn't like you and leaves. That happens a lot. Actually the men leave more than the women. But let's just say that the woman doesn't like it and leave
[31:13] Mike: Day 14 arrives.
[31:19] Mike: Let's say you found a good food source, You're not starving to death. Could you beat off?
[31:20] Keith: Yeah I
[31:27] Mike: can like you wouldn't have to go find like a wild pig and fuck that. You could, you could do it. What would your meth, how would you do it?
[31:28] Keith: I can
[31:33] Keith: I can jerk off stroking my own penis. It's just not nearly as pleasurable.
[31:41] Mike: How much like on a scale of 1-10. Let's say that like the perfect beat off session is a, with with your pair of shorts that you get or whatever
[31:45] Mike: Or your sleeping bag. What's, what would this be on the scale of 1-10?
[31:52] Keith: I mean there's some other factors like how long it's been, like if it's been
[31:59] Keith: more time since I've last masturbated, which I guess it would be in this case, then it's not as painful.
[32:00] Mike: So,
[32:05] Mike: but you don't, don't you? So you don't have to lubricate it. You would just like let your hand run over in your hand. I
[32:07] Keith: would power to like, I would go try to find some,
[32:11] Keith: I don't know, some weird jungle oil or something.
[32:16] Keith: Oh, that sounds risky. Uh
[32:29] Mike: This is how, this is how I'm telling you. This is so circumstances I see it right now, like this leads directly to shit, like fucking farm animals. Like people are so dumb. Like, oh, let's make it to. The only thing that's fun is like an orifice.
[32:33] Mike: Yeah, that's what you get. Yeah.
[32:40] Mike: Okay. So it is your story just that you use this pair of shorts or whatever now. Yeah, but well, I mean,
[32:42] Mike: do you wear the shorts later?
[32:45] Keith: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I really don't like
[33:02] Keith: being around my ejaculate. So one thing I was so, okay, so I have a number of pairs. This is too much, but whatever. Here we go. I have a number of pairs of long underwear of underwear and
[33:04] Keith: you know, running shirts
[33:06] Keith: and
[33:10] Keith: you know, sometimes I'll master, I don't do this often, but sometimes I'll masturbate like
[33:14] Keith: four times in a day. Oftentimes I masturbate twice in a day.
[33:16] Keith: And yeah, I'm often
[33:17] Keith: sort of
[33:19] Keith: mm hmm
[33:23] Keith: forced with this decision about whether I need to conserve
[33:26] Keith: like, let's say it's close to laundry day. I
[33:31] Keith: have to make a decision whether I want to use like an old soiled shirt
[33:34] Keith: or underwear or whether I want to
[33:37] Keith: keep using fresh. But that yeah, I mean that really
[33:39] Keith: I run out of underwear after a while and
[33:46] Mike: it's so are you saying that sometimes you have underwear that are sort of of this kind of more slippery material that you actually wear during the day. Like
[33:49] Keith: normal. Yeah, this is my normal underwear.
[34:02] Mike: Yeah, I can't. I actually can't wear stuff like that because I have a very, very slight like irritation from thing from non cotton fabric. So I couldn't, I can I can only wear that maybe for an hour, like for running or something. But then I have to get off. Otherwise I get like red spots.
[34:10] Mike: Um Anyway, so that would be eating off with that sense. Well, I guess it wouldn't be long enough. It'll be terrible to get like I've had a poison oak on my junk before and that's not great.
[34:16] Mike: Okay. But uh so this will be your dirty clothes then that you're beating off with.
[34:17] Mike: Yeah.
[34:20] Mike: Yeah. So okay. But not too dirty. I mean you're not
[34:30] Keith: Like, like, you know, if I if I went on like a 10 mile hike and then yeah, I would I would not, the underwear from that hike would not be eligible for later masturbating with.
[34:35] Mike: Got it, got it because you don't actually want that odor. Okay. So so
[34:37] Mike: what you're saying is that and when you do your
[34:41] Mike: okay and you you ejaculate into the shorts then?
[34:44] Keith: Yeah. Yes, it catches it nicely.
[34:47] Mike: And so then you just put it in the hamper and wash it.
[34:55] Keith: Yes. And then something again, if it's if it's, if I haven't done laundry for a while, sometimes I'll go back and
[34:58] Keith: you know, do some forensics and try to find the
[35:00] Keith: cleanest ish pair that's
[35:09] Mike: dirty. You've you've lived with a woman before a couple times in your life when you've done this activity, do they clean your clothes ever? Or do you really? I mean, I know you
[35:10] Keith: don't like uh
[35:17] Keith: Yeah, well, you know, I don't have a laundry, I don't have washing machine in my
[35:19] Keith: in my apartment. So
[35:20] Keith: this hasn't been an issue
[35:22] Keith: now that you mention it,
[35:26] Keith: it could be, it could be like, why are there, you know,
[35:28] Keith: 16 pairs of
[35:35] Keith: underwear that clearly have semen all over that. Now, questions might
[35:43] Mike: arise. Okay, so, so last question on this when you when you do your trick of standing up and all that stuff. Is that with the shorts also?
[35:44] Mike: No,
[35:45] Mike: no,
[35:47] Mike: that's free hand.
[35:48] Keith: Yeah.
[35:50] Mike: Yeah. But you have to use uh
[35:54] Keith: I like to freehand every once in a while just to make sure I still can,
[36:03] Keith: but when I do, I'll often use a loop. I would say half the time I use a loop and half the time I don't, half the time I don't it's not because it feels better. It's because I'm like
[36:07] Keith: reminding myself that this is an option.
[36:10] Mike: Yeah, man, I just that's I mean
[36:14] Keith: it's a constellation of things you don't have to worry about.
[36:30] Mike: Yeah. I mean, it's just for for people who have a more intact foreskin, it's like, yeah, I mean, my experiences, I mean there are some of the things, I mean like you could not that this is like this doesn't come up very much in my life anymore, but when I was younger, sometimes I did like, you can't just like,
[36:36] Mike: I don't know, like let's say you're on a long drive and you just want to pull over and beat off. You can't do that.
[36:42] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. I can just, you know, it's not ideal.
[36:47] Mike: Not that fun. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Whereas, yeah, I mean like that's that's sort of interesting. So like there
[36:50] Mike: there are certain types of
[36:55] Mike: almost like uh what do you call that exposition expert.
[36:57] Mike: What is that when somebody like shows themselves to people when somebody
[36:59] Keith: exposition code
[37:01] Mike: exhibitionist
[37:03] Keith: exhibitions? Right.
[37:06] Mike: It's not not available to you. All right.
[37:09] Keith: I mean, look, how often
[37:16] Keith: does masturbating? Not in your home computer chair occur, right? Not very often.
[37:19] Mike: Not that often, but I mean, like maybe in the shower, although I guess you have a lubricant,
[37:24] Keith: their the preferred condition. Let's mention that on the podcast before. I
[37:33] Mike: just don't like it. It's just it angers me the notion that you need assistive devices. It's like your it's like, it's like if I were competing in the masturbation olympics keith, you would be in the paralympics.
[37:34] Mike: Yes,
[37:44] Mike: that's right. Yeah, that's perfect. Like in a wheelchair, you're like, you're like the one legged guy swimming. I mean, he's a great athlete, but still he's only got like, it's like, fuck!
[37:53] Keith: Yeah, that was that analogy is spot on. Okay. All right, so let's uh let me pull up our first
[37:54] Keith: uh huh
[37:55] Keith: topic today.
[37:58] Keith: Um
[38:00] Keith: so, we've talked about the taste
[38:08] Keith: Of sperm before and tasting our own sperm. Um for our listeners who haven't heard the 17 episodes we've discussed this on
[38:25] Keith: I claim that I have never tasted my own sperm and I'm quite positive of it, mike is as positive that I must have that I am positive that I have not. Is that an accurate? And also I just wanna I just wanna disclaimer this? Like, well, I have tasted. It's not like I have like
[38:36] Mike: auto fill ated and blown a load in my own mouth repeatedly, or even once. That's not what I do like and I don't do it regularly. I simply, in my life
[38:41] Mike: daintily tried some to be like, hi, I wonder what this is like. A little bit like the thing where a woman is like,
[38:48] Mike: hey, if if you want me to swallow it so much, you try it. I was like, it wasn't actually that, that didn't happen. I was just curious and I was like, oh, and it's,
[38:51] Mike: it's not great,
[38:52] Mike: that's fine.
[38:53] Keith: Okay.
[39:01] Keith: All right. So, so app proposed to that long standing debate is this topic? So this person says, tasted my own sperm, can't sleep
[39:12] Keith: Two nights ago. I, a 19 year old male had sex with a 23 year old female, no penetration. We cuddled, rubbed each other. I went down on her and after she was pleased she went down on me.
[39:22] Keith: After I came in the heat of the moment I grabbed her and french kissed her. Only then did I realize that her mouth was full of my cum and I tried to push her away. But she got really into it
[39:29] Keith: and then it hit me like a heat stroke. I never felt so aroused in my life. We kissed and kissed and I ended up swallowing everything.
[39:37] Keith: She laughed and had other kinky ideas on her mind, but I'm having so many mixed feelings. I really liked it, but I'm also so ashamed of myself. I can't look into her eyes.
[39:43] Keith: I told everyone I was sick and I'm just lying in my bed since then thinking about it. I still haven't slept.
[39:54] Keith: She called me several times, but I can't force myself to pick up and I still keep thinking about it. I'm such a mess right now. This is obviously not normal. Just a weirdo or gay or bisexual.
[39:55] Mike: I mean,
[40:01] Mike: yeah, you have something I was interested to say. It's, it is concrete lee objectively hotter.
[40:07] Mike: It's still not, it's bad. It's not something I'm interested in, but it's hotter. The idea is hotter
[40:12] Mike: if the semen is located in the vagina or mouth of a woman. Yeah,
[40:16] Keith: better. I would reframe that is less repulsive. But yeah, it's
[40:19] Mike: okay, fine. Like it's better. Like she
[40:22] Keith: on the tolerable. Itty spectrum, it slide slightly to the right,
[40:26] Mike: right. I mean, the worst, worst case scenario is something like
[40:28] Mike: she has you nut in a
[40:37] Mike: shot glass, lets it sit for an hour. It's nice and cold and then you have to, you have to drink it. Like that's nobody wants that, right? So this is like, you know, but it's still below
[40:44] Keith: zero. That's, yeah, okay, so I made a few things here. Uh,
[40:49] Keith: it hit me like a heat stroke. I've never felt so aroused in my life and this is right after he noted.
[40:51] Mike: I know. Um,
[40:55] Keith: like I,
[40:59] Keith: yeah, okay. So yeah, so you can see that
[41:06] Keith: it's slightly more tolerable to taste your sperm through your partner's mouth,
[41:09] Keith: but still
[41:13] Keith: you would, you would try to avoid this. I mean like
[41:20] Mike: it feels more like a, I mean like the problem like, yeah, it feels more like a coupled activity then, right? Like it's like you're,
[41:22] Mike: yeah, like you're
[41:39] Mike: Yeah. And and it's like transgressive but transgressive in what seems like kind of a good way in the sense that like you're getting the girl to be involved in something that's kind of transgressive and so like it's like, it's like where could this lead? So like you could, okay, I could imagine if like somebody was really very vanilla, let's say they're like religious and they're used to like
[41:47] Mike: really basic activities like this being an entree into something more interesting. It's just this isn't the door, this is not the particular door. This is like
[41:51] Mike: the basement door. I'd rather go in through a different door to like
[41:56] Mike: get into doing more interesting things. This one is going to lead some lame places like the shot glass,
[41:57] Keith: right?
[41:59] Mike: Yeah.
[42:00] Mike: Blowing other guys.
[42:05] Keith: I wonder if she imposed this on him on purpose.
[42:07] Mike: No, he didn't. He grabbed her face.
[42:23] Keith: Uh he said after I came in the heat of the moment. I mean look, we just have a few sentences written by a 19 year old here, but after I came in the heat of the moment, I grabbed her in French kissed her. Only then did I realize that her mouth was full of my comment. I tried to push her away but she got really into it.
[42:24] Keith: I
[42:31] Mike: don't the the notion of a okay, I mean you know we can call bs to like you're the notion. Have you ever
[42:38] Mike: okay? I believe I have never gotten a blow from a woman and had her sit there for a meaningful period of time with the nut in her mouth.
[42:39] Keith: She's not gurgling
[42:40] Mike: it.
[42:52] Mike: No, I mean if she's gonna spit it out, she's going to do that as quickly as possible. But then and then she's gonna swallow it's just gone. And this is because she, I presumably she doesn't want to sit there with it sitting in her mouth. And so like then it's like well
[42:54] Mike: why was she doing that?
[42:56] Mike: So then that does suggest that she is in on it.
[43:08] Keith: You'll see this in porn where you know the woman keeps it in her mouth for a while and you know, pretends that she's loving, you know swishing it around and that kind of stuff. But that's not,
[43:12] Mike: I don't understand. Yeah, that's that's like
[43:20] Mike: that was in one of the porn's we watched earlier and like I don't understand it like as a man, I find it much more compelling for her to ingest it to get rid of it. Like it's not
[43:29] Mike: Yeah, I mean like what for whatever reason like the emotional need I have is for her to take it in fully and so like swishing it around her mouth is like not
[43:34] Mike: compelling. Like I much prefer the idea that like she's swallowing it as it's coming out of his dick.
[43:36] Mike: Like that to me is like
[43:38] Mike: much more compelling. I don't well it's
[43:45] Keith: cool to imagine or for it to actually be true that she's yeah, she's eager to get it as quickly as possible. That's
[43:47] Keith: that's fun to think.
[43:48] Keith: Yeah.
[43:52] Mike: I guess. I mean I'm trying to think what the like I think that like
[43:58] Mike: what's the arousing things like a woman might be like why is this so arousing to a guy. I don't I think it's more like
[44:02] Mike: it's like a domination thing. It's like you don't have a choice or like this is
[44:06] Mike: this is just what has to happen. Like she doesn't, she's giving up her,
[44:07] Mike: you know,
[44:10] Mike: ability to make choices or something like that. It's I think that is more like the
[44:19] Mike: why it's compelling, right? It's like if she's sitting there like making decisions about the nut that doesn't feel as hot to me as if it's like it's like, oh yeah, this has to go in here
[44:20] Mike: body
[44:23] Mike: that's where it belongs. You know,
[44:27] Mike: something like that. And I think that's where like the emotion comes from for me.
[44:32] Mike: Yeah. Okay. It's 35 seconds later. I don't care, right?
[44:38] Keith: Yeah. Things change quick and that post nut. Yes. Uh huh.
[44:43] Keith: Is there any difference between a man tasting his own semen and a woman tasting herself.
[44:49] Keith: Her lubrication.
[44:56] Mike: I mean I like it's much less bothersome to them. I think typically. And I think the reason why I like there
[44:57] Mike: I think is
[45:00] Keith: it a volume of you know where is it? All right. All
[45:04] Mike: right. Hit me. This is where you and I differ. So here's the deal.
[45:06] Mike: Here's the deal with
[45:08] Mike: it has to do with like
[45:24] Mike: it has to do with the curve of arousal, right? And so like generally the female curve of arousal doesn't like go to zero like within five seconds of orgasm. Like it does for a man. And so like I mean I was thinking about this the other day like and you know I think we may have discussed this and I think you may have said you've experienced this like
[45:30] Mike: I have had experience before. We're literally while I'm ejaculating, I start becoming disgusted with myself. So the point is like
[45:53] Mike: The post that clarity doesn't even wait, doesn't even have the decency to wait until 10 seconds after I got it literally like I'm having this orgasm in the middle of it. I'm thinking what's wrong with me? It's like come on. Like at least get the freaking hormones in there and feel good for five seconds before whatever whatever. 20 seconds. Okay, so so where is the female curve is much more
[45:56] Mike: gentle And I think that makes sense
[45:59] Mike: biologically because it's like look
[46:03] Mike: the guy sure as hell isn't gonna be that interested in getting the girl off after he nuts.
[46:16] Mike: Um and they're probably some like good evolutionary rationale for the postmark clarity. And so then it's like, look, one of the partners, it's the issue that gay guys have, right? You have to avoid that with heterosexual partners. One of the partners has to have her,
[46:19] Mike: his or her arousal not go away that fast. So you can like
[46:20] Mike: kind of
[46:22] Mike: make sure you impregnate someone.
[46:31] Mike: Okay, so women's arousal doesn't go away instantly. So, you know, the typical thing there is you're having sex and then you put the dick in her mouth
[46:37] Mike: or something. Like there's some interplay there and see she doesn't mind because she still aroused. And this gets to the nut of the point, which is
[46:41] Mike: if you didn't have post nut clarity,
[46:46] Mike: the issue for me, the issue of tasting urine semen is totally bound up in this issue of
[46:48] Mike: post But clarity,
[46:51] Mike: it's because it's gross to you in a moment. But if
[46:54] Mike: if the nut was present,
[47:04] Mike: like when you were maximally aroused, I totally think that most men, like, I know you exclude yourself, but I think most men and when I say most, I mean 90 plus percent of men would find playing with their come
[47:15] Mike: to be an enjoyable part of the experience. I just think that like it's because it's tied to the act of nutting and the post nut clarity. Like that's why you are have revulsion toward it
[47:21] Mike: and you just wouldn't care. Just like, for example, like look like when she's giving you a blow, like there's pre cum
[47:25] Mike: pre ejaculate coming out and that doesn't bother you. That that's in her mouth, right?
[47:29] Keith: Yeah. I actually agree with you here. Like, I think
[47:29] Mike: nice,
[47:35] Keith: my disgust reflexes basically completely suppressed when I'm aroused.
[47:36] Keith: And
[47:53] Keith: yeah, I mean it's sort of an interesting thought experiment. Like what if there was a shot glass and it was the right temperature? And I mean, I don't like this like abstraction of a previous nut being brought to like a future, you know, sexual encounter, but
[47:58] Keith: I think you're right. I think you're right. Like most of the reason why
[48:06] Keith: I find it so revolting is because every single one of my experiences with it is definitional lee when I'm in a minimum minimal
[48:12] Keith: state of arousal and maximal state of disgust. And so, you know, there's like a
[48:15] Keith: yeah, it's just never being evaluated in
[48:17] Keith: a reasonable set of circumstances.
[48:22] Mike: Yeah. I mean, context is everything like I mean like Yeah, context. Yeah,
[48:31] Mike: context. Yeah. I know, I saw like some, I can't remember, I saw some it was a podcast video. Something rather where someone was talking about this about how like, I mean, this happens with people who are trying to lose weight
[48:43] Mike: uh the way you think about food when you're full versus hungry is so completely different that it's almost like you're a different person on some level, you are, your brain chemistry has changed, right? And it's the same kind of thing. And so people confidently will announce that they
[48:46] Mike: grossed out by semen. And in terms of your,
[48:49] Mike: so the shot glass
[48:51] Mike: prepared from the last nut,
[48:54] Mike: my advice is don't do that because I think it would work.
[49:01] Mike: Oh my God, I think you would do it. I think you would do it if if you were with a really hot woman, she's like, look and and and women out there, like, they would work if you want to, like,
[49:17] Mike: play a trick on some dude, this is a good trick to play because it would totally work. And the guy, I think most guys I know guys would constantly say they won't, but like if you're an attractive woman, a very attractive woman, like the guy is going to be interested because he wants, he's gonna get so aroused or what maybe not just attractive, maybe for just really
[49:23] Mike: lusty, you're good at sex. Um And then the other thing that, and then the next thing with that is like, look, if you're fucking, like
[49:34] Mike: just your platonic ideal of a woman, you're having such a good time and she's like, I just need you to suck this other guy's cock in the mid time, in the middle of it. I don't know, man.
[49:36] Mike: Yeah, I think I can go down,
[49:46] Keith: Yeah, I mean, just as I'm like so revolted in that context in the context of being maximally aroused. There's no saying what I wouldn't do. Exactly.
[49:50] Mike: Exactly. That's what yeah, I just, well, I'm not, I mean, look,
[49:57] Mike: I mean ultimately like these are just fluids and stuff. Like it's not like your semen is not actually made of anything that hurts you.
[50:05] Mike: Um, so yeah, anyway, this guy, this guy found he found he liked it. It's just maybe maybe is a very short refractory period.
[50:06] Mike: Maybe
[50:08] Keith: I bet there's something else
[50:08] Keith: going
[50:22] Mike: on there. I think it's just the kink thing. He's just like, he's been introduced to kink and like that overrode his post not clarity. Refractory period. He got excited again and, and somehow she held in her mouth that long or the whole story is a lie, which we shouldn't even be because
[50:26] Keith: assuming assuming what he's reporting is true. He does mention that he was like
[50:30] Keith: more rows than he'd ever been. So that's sort of
[50:34] Keith: means that the context that I'm used to doesn't apply to him. All right. Let's move on.
[50:39] Keith: Uh, this person says, why does he spit in a glass when he eats me out?
[50:42] Keith: My boyfriend had never,
[50:43] Mike: this is good. You didn't see this?
[50:58] Keith: No. Yeah, I thought for sure you want to see that this was good. Like a spittoon. Yes. Okay. Listen, listen, listen, my boyfriend had never taken the initiative to eat me out even though he expects blowjobs all the time. Recently, I asked him to return the favor and you said ok,
[51:19] Keith: It felt good, but he kept taking breaks to spit in a glass like every 10-20 seconds. It felt super uncomfortable and wasn't really getting me anywhere after like 15 minutes. So I asked him to stop, he immediately went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. It made me feel really insecure. I don't think that I taste that bad. I've tasted myself quite a lot and it doesn't really have much of a taste at all.
[51:21] Keith: A really good hygiene and keep myself clean.
[51:31] Keith: I confronted him about it and he acted like it was common and that I should be less wet. Oh yeah, and that I should be less wet if I didn't want him to keep stopping and that loads of guys have to spit.
[51:40] Keith: It felt humiliating. It was a terrible first experience. I just don't see how anyone can enjoy that. How can I get him to stop doing this or should I just give up on getting him to reciprocate.
[51:41] Keith: Um,
[51:57] Keith: and then yeah, of course like the first like 100 responses are all like, I'll go down on you. So the moderator had to block the comments. But yeah, I can imagine a young man doing this like this just sounds like something that confused,
[51:59] Keith: You know, 19 year old would do,
[52:03] Mike: What do you, what do you do? Let's say you're on a
[52:13] Mike: third date with one of your lovely ladies and you're going to go down on her and it's not all that it could be. What's your strategy for dealing with that?
[52:14] Mike: Yeah
[52:15] Mike: that never happens.
[52:22] Keith: It's pretty rare mike. I mean people when they think they're going to have like an initial sexual encounter
[52:25] Keith: they like obsessively groom
[52:26] Keith: and my general do
[52:30] Mike: that to the women. When you say people you mean women. Yeah
[52:31] Mike: I mean I maybe you do too.
[52:39] Keith: I do too. Yeah I mean there's only so much I can do but you know I make sure I'm showered. It's sometimes
[52:41] Keith: well whatever it's not important what I do. Um
[52:46] Mike: I mean but couldn't couldn't be sufficient. I'm just thinking aloud here couldn't be sufficient
[52:52] Mike: for it to be kind of gross to if you just simply had
[53:01] Mike: if she lets say she'd you know you can't control the consistency nature yellow nous of your p so let's say she'd eaten something two days before or something. What what how repeat
[53:04] Keith: whatever it takes to make her taste a little bit off.
[53:07] Mike: Right. And so she pees. And
[53:14] Mike: yeah I mean like that's not great. Right. I mean like how did this must you're saying that never happens like they drink so much water or something that they
[53:18] Keith: social peace. Oh you mean there's like residue around her Urethra
[53:20] Keith: from the p what do you mean?
[53:22] Mike: I mean like the the
[53:25] Mike: the p kind of go like when women p it doesn't
[53:40] Mike: like the Aretha is kind of ensconced between the labia stuff. They can't really control that they could but you know they don't really and even honestly it's more like a it's like a shot, it's like a sawn off shotgun, right? A shotgun like has a nice but directional aim. But you know,
[53:45] Keith: so you're saying there's some yeah there's some residue or whatever from there the last time they peed.
[53:48] Keith: Yeah, sure. But that's gone in the first few licks anyway.
[53:49] Mike: Yeah.
[54:00] Mike: Okay so your strategy. Okay so your strategy is to just lick it out. Just just you're like, oh this is kind of gross. It's going to get in there and take it out.
[54:01] Mike: Yeah
[54:03] Mike: and that always works.
[54:05] Mike: Yeah, it never gets worse. I
[54:15] Keith: mean look I can remember, I can probably count on one hand experiences where I got down there and I was like, oh man, I got a no powder this gracefully. Um
[54:17] Mike: Well there was the toilet paper incident.
[54:21] Keith: Yeah, there was toilet paper incident. That was definitely one of them.
[54:25] Keith: Uh pretty nine. Just a little off.
[54:39] Keith: Yeah. Also. Well, okay, alright, you know we're talking about like an initial sexual experience, Your arousal is just so high that you know like we're talking about just a moment ago? Like Yeah you're discusses discussed is mostly suppressed.
[54:42] Mike: Um Do you think do you think if you're thinking
[54:45] Mike: honestly here
[54:51] Mike: many first sexual experiences of your life. Do you think that you've ever really done that though?
[54:54] Mike: Like have in other words, have you just
[54:59] Mike: just dived in down there and been like, oh, this is gross, but it just got overpowered.
[55:01] Mike: Has that happened?
[55:02] Mike: Yes. I
[55:12] Keith: mean, perception is reality, right? Like, Yeah. Like if I wouldn't perceive the disgust because you know, I don't like my disgust receptor is turned off.
[55:15] Mike: That's interesting. Okay, so,
[55:15] Mike: so I
[55:19] Keith: don't have any trauma that I can remember in any case, right?
[55:27] Mike: And also you've never had the experience. It sounds like where you like give it the good 10 licks or whatever to clean it off.
[55:32] Mike: Honestly, that's way grosser than tasting your own semen. But whatever just is your like, look.
[55:42] Mike: So what if she pissed herself? Let me just lick it up. How is that better? But okay. Uh And then, but to the question here, when you've given it the inventory.
[55:43] Mike: Mm
[55:47] Mike: Fair, Fair. But Okay, fair. Yeah, I was immediately
[55:52] Keith: that everything is just chemicals and whatever, right? Like, you know,
[55:55] Mike: look, I don't want to lick up people's piss but okay, I don't
[55:57] Keith: want to either. But like for starters,
[56:02] Keith: probably most oral experiences start that way to some extent,
[56:08] Keith: right? Like unless they, you know, took like some sort of cleaning solvent and wiped it around down there. They just got out of the shower.
[56:11] Mike: You know, then you would have cleaning solvent.
[56:14] Keith: Sure. But I mean, it's just most likely that,
[56:17] Keith: you know, there's gonna be some remnants of whatever the last time
[56:28] Mike: they peed, people, people should really stop doing oral sex is just gross. Think about it. They should just cut it out, it's just disgusting. Like there's no way to make this clean. It feels good.
[56:34] Mike: Well, not for you, not the cunnilingus doesn't feel good for you. You just feel like, look, you should get a spittoon.
[56:36] Mike: Yeah,
[56:38] Mike: I
[56:48] Keith: don't think that, I don't think that's the reading this, this this poster, what it's like, you know what I'm thinking about this and I've never done it, but I think this man is correct to
[56:54] Mike: yes, you should, you should you should have bottles of dr pepper
[57:02] Mike: that you used to sort of sanitize it. Like, look, you taste just like dr pepper baby in a spittoon, and just that's it,
[57:05] Mike: that's where I'm going with this. I
[57:09] Keith: I feel badly for this girl. I mean, you know,
[57:12] Keith: people get so insecure with, you know,
[57:16] Keith: young, early sexual encounters and I think Kaiser,
[57:26] Mike: I think it's reasonable for women to be more insecure about this than men because I think concrete, we objectively female genitals are grosser than the man.
[57:30] Mike: Like I'm not gay, I'm not in the men's genitals, but like,
[57:35] Mike: let's say that there was, let's say there was an alien species that abducted me. And they said,
[57:50] Mike: look, mike, you you have to we have a male and a female. And they're just they have parts that are just like the human parts. But they're like, they're completely, but they're not right. Yeah. Okay. You can just look well yeah, they look different enough that like there's no gay, there's no straight, it's just like, look, you have to you have to
[57:52] Keith: give a male, there's no female.
[57:55] Mike: Yeah. I think I would pick the guy
[57:56] Mike: I picked the penis part.
[57:57] Mike: I'd be like
[58:05] Mike: because yeah, I think that I think it would be less gross. I know I know like I get some argument from women about this but I just disagree. I think like the
[58:12] Mike: The cock like for 95% of maybe 99% of what's going on. It's very it's just sucking a finger basically.
[58:15] Mike: And then yes, there's the
[58:18] Mike: the end part where that's not true. But the
[58:22] Mike: anyway, so the point is I think women should be a little self conscious.
[58:28] Mike: It's rational to be a little self conscious because and also like they know what goes on down there when they're on their period.
[58:29] Mike: They know.
[58:32] Keith: Yeah. Well I mean there's all kinds of uh
[58:37] Keith: we've gone through this before, but there's all kinds of various
[58:41] Keith: things that are secreted by the vagina,
[58:43] Mike: right? E
[58:46] Keith: and blood and lubricant.
[58:52] Keith: And if you're one of these folks who believe that um squirting is
[58:54] Keith: Not P That's A 5th Item.
[59:00] Mike: You miss the key one. The most important one for for men such as you is other dudes semen,
[59:02] Keith: right? Yes.
[59:14] Mike: Like we don't do that. We don't, we don't like, we don't have some orifice where there's other women's female ejaculate. No, I'm not. I'm not saying they do. I know, I know. I realize it's self cleaning as they say. I know all that.
[59:23] Mike: But that being said like if if you've got some sort of uh adultery, infidelity action or like man when guys go to prostitutes, like guys who lick
[59:27] Mike: give oral to prostitutes, like jesus dude.
[59:36] Mike: Yeah. And it's not, it's not that the problem was prostitutes. Woman body rather is gross per se. It's that there's other dudes semen up. There may be several
[59:42] Mike: or something. Is something else up there? Yeah. Yeah. Is that not politically correct?
[59:43] Keith: I don't know.
[59:45] Mike: Probably not. Probably not. It's probably
[59:50] Keith: not. It could both be true and in politically correct
[59:51] Mike: in politically correct
[59:56] Mike: un politically never said that. I don't know. I don't know what they're probably on
[59:58] Mike: anyway. Yeah.
[60:01] Keith: Um Do we have time for one more topic?
[60:03] Mike: Do it, Do it. We have a few more minutes.
[60:05] Keith: All right. Let's see here.
[60:07] Keith: Uh
[60:13] Keith: Oh yeah. This one will probably be relatively short, but so we we talked about how
[60:20] Keith: I can I've in the past, I've been able to smell when my partner is aroused.
[60:26] Keith: Like, you know, just a bar or something. I don't know about a bar, but like in a place with more smell, isolation
[60:29] Keith: bar street because you know, there's just all kinds of
[60:35] Mike: smells. I'm gonna smell that I totally want to do that. I want to go to this. This is the issue is that I don't arouse any people,
[60:40] Mike: I don't arouse people enough to have that happen. I don't know how you do those. That's great problem.
[60:43] Keith: Okay. I don't know if I fully
[60:45] Keith: accept the premise, but
[60:48] Keith: they could be aroused by someone else.
[60:51] Keith: Maybe there's a maybe there's a Ryan Gosling, moving on on tv
[60:54] Mike: or something. I did some second hand around the third
[60:55] Keith: hand.
[60:59] Mike: Let me let me let me let me smell your smoke cloud.
[61:14] Keith: Right, okay. So all right. So this person says, my wife says she can smell when I'm aroused. I didn't know this was possible. This is a man writing from time to time. He deleted his account from time to time. My wife tells me she can smell my arousal every single time. She's been correct.
[61:20] Keith: Sometimes if we're lying in bed and I'm just fantasizing or generally turned on, she'll say, ooh, I can smell you
[61:25] Keith: when I asked her to explain what it smells like. She can't really describe it. She just says it smells like you
[61:33] Keith: does occasionally make me nervous that if I'm inadvertently around she can tell, but she assures me that it's okay. So All right, I'm just going to preempt the thing that I know you're going to say, which is
[61:50] Keith: this is fake. It's obviously fake. Like, of course, you can't describe it because there's nothing to smell. Also, like if we're just lying in bed, like, that's of course you're aroused, like, you know, you're about to have sex, right? Like, like, like, the reason why she has a perfect record of saying it is because she knows what sorts of things arouse him. Not that she can smell it.
[61:52] Keith: That's your hypothesis. I'm
[61:56] Mike: not gonna say no, it's not. I'm not gonna say why don't you give your hypothesis? What's your hypothesis? Well, I don't know.
[62:00] Keith: This seems unlikely. I can imagine,
[62:05] Keith: I believe. Okay, okay, you wanna hear something sort of gross? All right. So, let's say, let's say that
[62:10] Keith: I've masturbated and I've masturbated in a way where I can't really clean myself off,
[62:12] Keith: Right? So, there's like,
[62:14] Keith: you know,
[62:18] Keith: some, you know, leftover semen on my shaft. Okay,
[62:21] Keith: And now it's, you know, later in the day,
[62:23] Mike: you're naked in
[62:30] Keith: our listeners. Can't see this. But yeah, bikes making disgusted faces here. All right. So, there's some, you know, like, crusty semen on my shaft and then, like, later,
[62:34] Keith: you know, I'm around my girlfriend and she arouses me.
[62:43] Keith: Like, I can imagine this sort of like cracking of that crusty semen is my penis elongates could release some some old factory
[62:45] Keith: smelling things.
[62:52] Mike: I think you're on the right track. But I mean, like, you've never maybe this has to do again with like the tight circumcision, but you've never noticed that, like
[62:54] Mike: Yeah, I mean, okay, so
[62:59] Keith: first of all your prick, um I can smell my pre come for sure you can. I think so.
[63:01] Mike: I don't find that devin odor, but sure I believe that could
[63:07] Keith: slightly chlorine e or something, you know, it's the same as normal semen.
[63:10] Mike: I don't think it's as corny as
[63:23] Mike: maybe it's not actually like, I think when people, when, when women describe it like they're like, it's quite distinct in terms of the flavor, but that smell and so forth and I haven't noticed the yeah, the semen could definitely be kind of bleach smelling, but the
[63:26] Mike: Yeah, I believe so. So, first of all,
[63:41] Mike: you'd have to really work at it to leave semen enough on your penis to get crusty. That would be really hard to do. Like, it's really revolting. It's like you then I immediately get like an image in my mind like peeling it off or something and the meeting that we just discussed, like I was
[63:43] Keith: Yeah,
[63:48] Mike: yeah. I feel sorry for somebody if they're listening to this in a situation where, yeah,
[63:54] Mike: yeah, where they can't reach or dry heave or one of its gross, but okay,
[63:57] Mike: but the thing that I have noticed before is
[64:02] Mike: I don't, I believe there is some connection to masturbating or semen,
[64:08] Mike: even if it's cleaned off like later that day the next day or whatever if you sort of like
[64:10] Mike: touch
[64:15] Mike: this sort of like your shaft has like two sections to it, right? There is the section that's like,
[64:24] Mike: well it's what it is. It's the section that was part of your, the outer part of the foreskin. The part that was the part of the order inner part of your skin. If you have an intact foreskin, you have both. But the point is when you
[64:26] Mike: pull down the skin, like
[64:29] Mike: there's a clear separation there where
[64:36] Mike: the foreskin would be at the end of the shaft, right? So on the part that's the upper part, which is like the,
[64:38] Mike: like the part that's more delicate
[64:55] Mike: and everybody has some of that. I mean, even if you're tightly circumcised on that area, I've noticed, like you can touch it and then like the smell your finger, like there might be some odor. And I've noticed that because like I've noticed an odor and I'm like, where is it coming from? Yeah. So my my take on this is very simply that like when he gets aroused,
[64:58] Mike: he's lucky probably nuts. A reasonable amount. I mean like
[65:02] Mike: You Keith not 2-7 times a day typically.
[65:10] Mike: Uh this guy is probably assume this guy is even at one time a day, like he's probably got some nut and around there and when he gets around to get an erection,
[65:13] Mike: he's also probably messing with his penis, he's touching it.
[65:26] Mike: And so then it gets all the smell gets all over his body and she smells that. So I don't think it's exactly her smelling his arousal, but I do think it's like her smelling like the fact that he, it's totally believable to me because I've noticed it like,
[65:35] Mike: uh, but it just has to do with having an erection and that sort of exposing like the more delicate skin that has the odor attached to it or whatever. That's my take on that.
[65:37] Keith: Yeah, I mean, I think this is,
[65:41] Keith: I mean he does say if we're lying in bed, but I think
[65:43] Keith: he worries.
[65:48] Keith: I think the premise here is that he can be wearing clothes or whatever.
[65:50] Keith: I'm not sure,
[65:52] Keith: but okay. All right, This is inside the universe.
[65:59] Mike: I still think that, I believe, I still think you like it. He'll have an erection and or he'll be touching himself somehow. I mean like guys
[66:00] Mike: like,
[66:10] Mike: yeah, I always, I've wondered that and I have asked women this and nobody ever likes talking about this topic, but guys like to sort of grab their cock. Like, do you ever just sit watching tv like holding your penis?
[66:12] Keith: I mean it's happened.
[66:20] Mike: It's happened. I mean like it's like the Al Bundy from that eighties show and married with Children. Like he'd have his hands on his parents. Like there's a common thing and like women don't do that
[66:24] Mike: much or at all. And also like, you know, for
[66:26] Mike: is would that be good?
[66:27] Mike: I don't know.
[66:28] Mike: I mean, I
[66:31] Keith: don't know what it would be.
[66:35] Mike: And then like, I mean like, you know if a guy, if you have an itch on your balls, like you can
[66:47] Mike: pretty reasonably scratch it in polite company, like it depends. Like there's a level of polite company where you wouldn't do that. Whereas women, like women like what do they do when they have like an itch on their labia?
[66:53] Keith: Yeah, zen out and yeah, try not to respond.
[66:57] Mike: Yeah. Well my general take on that is maybe it happens to them less frequently,
[66:58] Mike: but I don't know.
[67:02] Mike: Yeah. And I mean, God forbid they have an itch inside, but I assume that
[67:05] Mike: can't happen. Although maybe no, it must be like if you ever
[67:08] Keith: get an itch inside your mouth,
[67:17] Keith: maybe I would just use my tongue really? Or inside my nose? I think I do. Yeah. And then I would just pick it or something. Yeah, I think I can get, I can get itches inside of our faces.
[67:19] Mike: So how do they handle that or, but I don't know, I mean you can
[67:22] Keith: get, we have to ask around,
[67:26] Mike: get an itch in your butt. Like these things are all possible. Yeah, that's for two.
[67:32] Mike: Yeah. And then I then I think to myself, well how does a man do you handle that? And I guess like very carefully is the answer.
[67:37] Keith: Yeah. So yeah, picking out your asshole and mixed companies.
[67:39] Keith: Bit untoward.
[67:41] Mike: Yeah. Especially for you
[67:44] Mike: play with it afterward or whatever. But anyway, Yeah.
[67:47] Mike: Moving on. Okay. So, yeah, I believe what this guy is saying.
[67:48] Mike: Okay.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 38: Sex Spitoons, People Tasting Semen (Again), Arousal Smell, How Keith Masturbates

Episode Transcript