Enjoy YMMV? Please click the above button to subscribe to the show!
Give us your email for show notes and reminders:  
To participate or give feedback, email us at ymmvpod@gmail.com.

Episode 39: You Won't Believe What Keith Thinks About Anal Sex

Team YMMV | 10-14-2021 | 1:04:57

Read The Transcript

      RSS             S      

You'll also never believe the level of detail we've learned about how Keith masturbates.... Clothing. He uses clothing, ladies. Some of it intended for wear by men. Laundry services hate him!

Can face masks prevent you from getting herpes? Before you renew Amazon Prime, listen to this!

Airborne semen? A nightmare that could happen!

Warmed-up semen can take five pounds off your belly! How far-right groups are using PornHub to desensitize voters to white supremacy!

OK you get the picture. Here's your episode. Clickbait headlines are all I could muster, and frankly it's all you deserve this week. Next week I'll mail you a cockring and some Tenga eggs to help with your oral practice.

To follow along with the video discussed at the beginning of the episode:

https://ymmv.me/39/clothed-ejaculation

We get a lot of our questions from the Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/39/flat-chest

https://ymmv.me/39/anal-finishing

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [0:04] Keith: it would have to drip out and then like up and in
  • [0:04] Keith: and I think
  • [0:07] Mike: is this motivated reasoning or this something that you
  • [0:09] Keith: do know? This is not
  • [0:11] Keith: Well, first off,
  • [0:14] Keith: I mean is it it a thing that people
  • [0:17] Keith: uh have anal sex?
  • [0:23] Keith: Yeah.
  • [0:30] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage. May vary. We talk about sex and relationships. I am keith. My co host is Mike. What's up? Mike?
  • [0:31] Mike: Not much keith, How's it going?
  • [0:38] Keith: I'm wonderful. So, one final bit of housekeeping here, we're always looking for feedback on the show
  • [0:49] Keith: and for questions and comments about your own love lives. So, if you have anything for us, why mmv pod at gmail dot com is the place. And we pay $15 for anything we received there. Let us know how you'd like to be paid in your email.
  • [0:56] Mike: Alright. Not anything we received. I mean, it has to be valid feedback. It can't just be like a picture of your balls or something.
  • [0:57] Keith: Uh
  • [1:00] Keith: I mean, we have received Did we pay that? I don't think we did.
  • [1:03] Mike: No no no no, no money for that. Okay,
  • [1:06] Keith: I didn't know if you did that, you know, on your own accord.
  • [1:08] Mike: Yeah. So
  • [1:13] Keith: all right, let's get started with our standard opening porn viewing segment. Uh
  • [1:15] Keith: What do you have for us? Mike?
  • [1:26] Mike: Well, we've got a video. The link is in the comments on the show notes and people can sync up. We're gonna start at five minutes into the U. R. L. There are five minutes into the porn hub video
  • [1:31] Mike: and Yeah, I mean this is a little bit related to what we talked about in our last show.
  • [1:33] Mike: Something that might
  • [1:42] Mike: hit home for keith and it's about you know maybe 30 seconds long and uh can narrate what's going on? Okay. I think the unusual behavior,
  • [1:49] Keith: the screen, I can see you know what's happening at the five minute mark. Okay, so this is titled come and pants hand job.
  • [1:53] Keith: She made him come with her magic wand vibrator.
  • [1:59] Mike: That's not right. I mean she's mostly using her hand. I don't think most men
  • [2:02] Mike: can get off just from a vibrator. Oh this is the
  • [2:05] Keith: this is the college couple.
  • [2:12] Mike: Is this the No it's not the college couple, it's not keith of course keith of course is talking about this uh
  • [2:15] Mike: it's the guy oh God this is so sad that I know this,
  • [2:26] Mike: it's the guy with and and and the thing about it is that like of our mail list or something like 10 plus percent minimum will know what I'm talking about. There's this set of videos with a poster in the background that says the League,
  • [2:35] Mike: the League. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about, right keith? Yeah and that's it's it's quite well done and uh there's one particular scene that's great where
  • [2:38] Mike: God I can reminisce about it. Where the
  • [2:50] Mike: she she acts like she doesn't want him to nut in her but then she's like I can't wait, she doesn't want to show her butthole on camera. She uses the word butthole. Do you remember this key? Uh more precise memories
  • [2:52] Keith: to go back and review
  • [2:54] Mike: the uh
  • [3:04] Mike: but this is the key. This is the key moment for people who haven't seen this. If you search the league and sort of for porn may be confined. The search for read it, you'll find it. The key thing that happens is she
  • [3:16] Mike: I don't know if it's real or it's acting. It doesn't matter. Uh She does a great job of seeming to complain about what he's going to do because he's going there in the doggy style position and he's going to video her cream pie afterwards.
  • [3:17] Mike: She claims to
  • [3:19] Mike: be annoyed by that
  • [3:26] Mike: perspective that he's going to show of her, but but then she acquiesces and it's just just just do what you need to do.
  • [3:35] Mike: And that moment is very, very satisfied. I think most men are like, yes, it's like that moment of surrender that you're looking for from a woman. You're like, yes,
  • [3:37] Mike: yeah. I mean, it's an icon Anyway,
  • [3:40] Keith: video Anyway, that is not this video.
  • [3:45] Mike: I am ready. We should at some point we should. All
  • [3:50] Keith: right. So, we're at the okay, So we're at the five minute time stamp. I'm going to start in 321 starting.
  • [3:59] Mike: All right. So, it's a guy with his underwear on sort of turquoise color and the girls jerking him off through the underwear and she's also got a vibrator that's like one of those kind of
  • [4:11] Mike: uh pointy shaped, I guess it's it's not a dildo that's like it's like a knee massage or something. And now it looks like she's vibrating his balls and oh there's some semen coming through the underwear which
  • [4:25] Mike: maybe keith likes that. She's now using it with a vibrator, sort of spread it around the head, but she's doing the smart thing and no longer using the vibrator on him and just sort of massaging his cock and he's kind of wiggling and in the sense that maybe it's getting uncomfortable. I think we can stop here. Okay,
  • [4:35] Keith: I need to just go back and see one thing here. Okay. All right, so she is using her hand the whole time in addition to the vibrator. Yes,
  • [4:43] Mike: I mean the notable thing here of course is the sort of silky looking underwear that resembles the way that you say that you would like to so handle yourself in the morning
  • [4:52] Keith: for those who missed our last episode. I often jerk off with some sort of sheath over my penis because I have a very tight circumcision
  • [4:53] Keith: and so
  • [5:02] Keith: two struck myself it's more comfortable to use some material in between my hand skin and you don't usually skin.
  • [5:16] Mike: Two questions are, you don't usually they're not you're not you're usually using it loose leaf, so to speak. Not, we're not wearing the underwear. And secondly, I assume you've you've never included a woman in this activity. No, the vibrator I guess is the third topic. Yeah,
  • [5:22] Keith: I mean, yeah, there's two things here. I don't know unusual. He's being jerked off with his underwear on
  • [5:24] Keith: and
  • [5:31] Keith: she's using this vibrator, I would say sort of haphazardly and randomly. Nothing that she's doing here seems
  • [5:32] Keith: like it would really
  • [5:39] Keith: particularly the part with after he's come. She's using it on the top of the
  • [5:46] Keith: Yeah, part of his penis. What is, sorry, what is the part of the head of your penis? Like the lip of the head? What is that called?
  • [5:47] Mike: Front of him?
  • [5:48] Keith: Yeah.
  • [5:52] Keith: Wait, but isn't that underneath what's like the top
  • [5:55] Mike: called? You mean the glands? The head?
  • [5:56] Mike: Mhm.
  • [6:06] Keith: I don't know, copy the little helmet. Alright, so for circumcised people, there's like a mushroom at the top. What is like the edge of the mushroom called?
  • [6:07] Mike: That's the frontal him. I
  • [6:09] Keith: think. All right, well,
  • [6:11] Keith: uh maybe somebody can write in and
  • [6:18] Mike: clarify that you're talking about the part that like that's designed to be like a plunger to pull the other guy's semen out.
  • [6:20] Mike: Yeah, I think that's what that's called.
  • [6:26] Keith: Okay, well in any case she's using the vibrator on the top of his friend column, which doesn't
  • [6:28] Keith: seem that great.
  • [6:30] Keith: Uh huh. And then she's also using
  • [6:34] Mike: it. Anything with the vibrator would be great.
  • [6:36] Keith: Yeah,
  • [6:38] Keith: I don't
  • [6:43] Keith: So I have been in partnered sex where vibrator is involved.
  • [6:45] Keith: It doesn't do much for me.
  • [6:47] Keith: I like that.
  • [6:57] Keith: she likes it, right? So you know, if if I can apply pressure to her by, you know, like let's say there's a, let's say that she has the vibrator on her clit
  • [7:02] Keith: and it's sort of in between my pubic bone and her pubic bone.
  • [7:04] Keith: Uh
  • [7:10] Keith: I like, I mean I can feel the vibration obviously because it's making contact with me. It's not doing much to stimulate me though,
  • [7:15] Keith: but I like that it's doing you know the work to stimulate her?
  • [7:17] Mike: You haven't tried it on your tape though? Probably.
  • [7:19] Mike: Mhm.
  • [7:20] Mike: Yeah.
  • [7:24] Mike: Yeah. I can imagine there. I just thought I'd say that
  • [7:30] Keith: various amounts of pressure on my taint can be okay.
  • [7:37] Mike: Yeah. I mean the place where look, the place where people say the vibrator works on a guy is up the butt. So there you have,
  • [7:38] Mike: Yeah.
  • [7:42] Mike: Yeah. Okay. So so you have not,
  • [7:49] Mike: by the way, I just wanted to say this that I I do not like the part of this video where the semen comes through the underwear
  • [7:51] Mike: just making it for the record. I it's
  • [7:54] Keith: making a big mess.
  • [8:02] Mike: Yeah, that's it. Oh, it's not that it's just it's not that I don't know there's something about that that I don't enjoy. It removes. I'll tell you what it is, it removes
  • [8:14] Mike: there's something satisfying for me in seeing the semen like kind of shoot out or shoot out and then it just kind of pulls out like that. I don't I don't kind of grosses me out, like feels used or old at that point,
  • [8:18] Keith: so I have to fresh something here, I have to confess something here. Uh
  • [8:20] Keith: uh well actually,
  • [8:26] Keith: well okay, confession first, so the reason why this kind of makes me feel weird is because
  • [8:33] Keith: I mean I can relate to this, I almost, I don't masturbate like this anymore, I think when I was younger I used to masturbate like this with my like
  • [8:35] Keith: underwear still on.
  • [8:41] Mike: Oh okay, so this is, this is a thing that you have, I've never done this in my life, I've done this,
  • [8:49] Keith: this is like sort of awkward amateur beginner technique, I would say. And so like looking at it, I can remember
  • [8:49] Keith: like the
  • [8:50] Mike: semen sort of leaking through
  • [8:55] Keith: my underwear and it's kind of gross and you know, it gets everywhere, I don't like that.
  • [9:01] Mike: What's the, what's the pro version of this technique? So so yeah, just the people who have the video in front of them,
  • [9:17] Mike: the issue with the video or the I think the issue that keith is highlighting here is that essentially the man is making or the woman rather is making with the guy's underwear, kind of a condom, a silk condom as it were, that covers the entire cylinder as well as the top the head of the penis, and so then
  • [9:26] Mike: when he comes, it just sort of leaks through the end and I think keith is going to tell us what the professional way to jerk off in your own underwear or have someone jerk you off in your underwear would be
  • [9:29] Keith: Yeah, he shouldn't be wearing the underwear itself, he should just be
  • [9:30] Mike: okay using
  • [9:36] Keith: the leg of the underwear or whatever. It's not that it's underwear, it's the material that you want.
  • [9:40] Keith: And if you do it that way then like the problem with this is
  • [9:47] Keith: the semen doesn't achieve sufficient escape velocity to get away from you. So it just like sort of
  • [9:52] Keith: gets all in the underwear and then it like leaks back down and gets all over your shaft and into your
  • [9:54] Keith: pubic hair. It's gross.
  • [9:55] Keith: Mhm.
  • [10:02] Mike: Yeah, I mean in regards the material, it's not lost on me and shouldn't be on long time listeners that underwear
  • [10:17] Mike: and sleeping bags are made of the same material. There's a commonality here, I'm imagining like keith also uses parachute pants, shorts. People used to what would I disco in the Yeah, I don't know,
  • [10:19] Keith: thank God I was born, you know,
  • [10:21] Mike: fleece is
  • [10:22] Mike: Yeah. Did you
  • [10:35] Keith: notice the thumbnails of the other videos by this couple here? I don't know if you're seeing the same as me, but it looks like this is a there's at least four here that I see where the guy is getting jerked off with his underwear on.
  • [10:41] Mike: He's always wearing it. Yeah, I see that he likes this teal color,
  • [10:45] Mike: There's one. Oh this one really bothers me. It's it's just the thumbnail is her.
  • [10:47] Mike: It's like, she's got a
  • [10:50] Mike: like some sort of uh
  • [10:55] Mike: I don't know. It's like, it's like some sort of a dessert she's got, it's like, it's like you just see the colored underwear and it's in her mouth.
  • [10:58] Mike: I remove all the penis nus up
  • [11:02] Keith: To 25.9000 video views.
  • [11:06] Mike: That's what it bums me out because it's like, it's like,
  • [11:16] Mike: why does that bum me out? It has like the thing about like, I mean you don't want to like get some fabric between your teeth and rub your teeth back and forth. Like that always gives me the shivers to think about that
  • [11:17] Mike: because it's like,
  • [11:21] Mike: and it's sort of uncomfortable feeling and do you know what I'm talking about?
  • [11:28] Mike: No, I do know what you've never taken fabric and okay, so it makes me think of that. And then it also sort of like,
  • [11:37] Mike: I don't know, it's it's in the same way that like, it's a little weird when there's a video of a woman with a strap on and the other woman is sucking the strap on your just like, what's going on here? What's the point?
  • [11:39] Keith: Who's getting pleasure from this?
  • [11:44] Mike: This? Maybe, maybe it bothers me that I it emasculated him a little, that might be what it is to Anyway,
  • [11:54] Keith: that's true. Uh This is weird. I mean there's so many videos of this technique. Like people getting a hand job through their underwear. This is this a fetish.
  • [12:02] Mike: Yeah, probably. So. So, so what, when you said, when I asked you if you'd had partnered a partner do this, you said, why would I do that? Are, of course not. And I mean like,
  • [12:09] Mike: I don't understand like, why not? Like, I mean, don't you want them to know what works for you?
  • [12:11] Keith: Yeah,
  • [12:18] Keith: I think that saliva is plenty of loops. Like it's not that I can't
  • [12:20] Keith: jerk off with just my hand.
  • [12:27] Keith: It's that when it's dry, it's not as comfortable as if I have some sort of material sheath now,
  • [12:35] Keith: saliva or some other kind of lubricant, Maybe I've been inside her already. So my penis is covered in various
  • [12:38] Keith: lubrication. Uh
  • [12:42] Keith: Yeah, that's that's better than than, you know, with underwear
  • [12:44] Keith: or what not. I think,
  • [12:59] Keith: I guess if like there was no other lubrication available, I would prefer the underwear technique, but like, she probably wouldn't be able to apply pressure in the right way. Like it would just be told giving hand jobs is already sort of weird for women, like they don't really know what they're doing.
  • [13:03] Keith: Um uh And if you add like another
  • [13:06] Keith: complicating elements to it,
  • [13:16] Keith: you know, it's like a simone biles vault, right? Like the technical merit is awfully high. Like, you know, if they nail it, it's great, but it's hard to do properly.
  • [13:32] Mike: Maybe I'll title this episode how to give keith a hand job with the hopes that maybe some future uh beau of yours or Bell of yours will uh Bell will take it to heart and say ah and she'll say I have an idea, we can, instead of using your under will use the american flag,
  • [13:33] Mike: something like that, Nylon
  • [13:35] Keith: depends what the material is. Yeah,
  • [13:37] Keith: I have
  • [13:38] Mike: some technical material
  • [13:47] Keith: of the hierarchy of preferred materials. Now. My favorite is which is I don't think a tech fabric is. I don't know.
  • [13:53] Mike: You'll never shock yourself in doing this. You don't never build up enough of static charge to shock your cock or something.
  • [13:57] Keith: No, no, I think that's more of an issue with wool.
  • [13:59] Keith: Yeah, I would not do this with wool.
  • [14:04] Keith: Okay, let's move on. Do you have anything else you would have said about this? Uh this genre of clip,
  • [14:15] Mike: people don't like it through their underwear. Like this is not something I ran across this on Reddit and I thought this is not going to help me do what I need to do today and moved on. But I did save it because I thought
  • [14:18] Keith: did you across this or did you google it after our previous
  • [14:20] Mike: conversation?
  • [14:22] Mike: No, I ran across it organically just
  • [14:24] Keith: kind of mentally. Yes.
  • [14:25] Keith: Uh Indeed.
  • [14:30] Mike: Right. All right. It would be hard to search for this. I don't I wouldn't even have thought of it, I don't know what
  • [14:32] Keith: the search terms are either.
  • [14:34] Keith: Yeah, yeah, it's unclear.
  • [14:41] Keith: Okay. Uh so I have a number of topics from Reddit here
  • [14:46] Keith: and trying to pick which one. Let's do this one. This one
  • [15:01] Keith: this was less humorous than our typical topics. But okay, this is okay. This person says I need encouragement. Just got broken up with because of my lack of breasts. I'm flat chested. I don't mean small boobs. I mean, like, no boobs, like double a cup is too big
  • [15:05] Keith: in my daily life. I fucking love having a flat chest.
  • [15:18] Keith: I can go braless. I never have boob sweat. I can go running with no support. I can wear super low cut tops. I don't have to worry about them. Sagging. When I get old, I can sleep on my stomach comfortably. I can dress androgynous li I will never have back pain from them. Broads. Never feel restricting. Those are all
  • [15:20] Keith: useful things. But when dating,
  • [15:25] Mike: I don't understand the super I don't understand the super low cut tops thing.
  • [15:27] Keith: Well,
  • [15:31] Keith: why would you want to wear a super low cut top if you didn't have something to show off. Is that what you mean?
  • [15:51] Mike: Yeah, it's sort of like, she can Well, I can too, but I would look like Freddie Mercury and uh in the bohemian rhapsody video, he wears this, like, kind of comical. He just, you know, it's weird looking guy to start with. I like Freddie Mercury a lot. And his hair is kind of cool, but the shirt he's wearing is really stupid. Weird looking. Maybe that it's like,
  • [15:55] Keith: you know, maybe that ties into her liking to dress androgynous lee,
  • [16:00] Keith: maybe. Okay. Like she doesn't want to have hand lines on her upper chest.
  • [16:10] Mike: I just think people generally don't want to wear low cut tops. And the reason women do it is to show off their cleavage. And so then it's like, well she can do that and you're like, what? But anyway, I just don't understand.
  • [16:19] Keith: Sure. Okay. All right, well, the other seven things still apply, so alright, but when dating, it's something I am so self conscious about it on top of that. I just got dumped because of it. Oh no,
  • [16:33] Keith: he wasn't a jerk at all, but he can't help his preferences still. I feel like I just want to crawl in a hole and hide my body. I know guys often say small boobs are great, but then they're like, yeah, even a cups are beautiful. I'm like, uh because I literally have no boob, not even a cups.
  • [16:39] Keith: It also makes me feel like less of a woman. I feel like a literal child when I stand next to a woman with more with a more womanly figure.
  • [16:46] Keith: I feel like I'm 10 years old. Playing dress up with the training braun. Could really use some encouragement. So I wanted to bring this up because
  • [16:49] Keith: I think you're not
  • [16:51] Keith: a big boob guy, is that
  • [16:52] Keith: correct?
  • [16:54] Keith: Yeah,
  • [16:59] Mike: I think I'm a normal boob guy? I think I'm just normal, like in the sense that no, I mean like, I've
  • [17:01] Mike: I uh
  • [17:04] Mike: yeah, I I enjoy them
  • [17:22] Mike: and I think like up to a certain size, like larger is better in terms of like, visually, the only, okay, the only thing I would say that like, limits that. So like, just men, I think generally are attracted to this and like it grabs our eyes for me in particular, I'm a little bit more interested in, like, somebody who's like, sort of athletic or like active, and
  • [17:36] Mike: because like, yeah, because those two things don't go together as well, right? So it's like that's more likely to push you the other direction just because it's basically there's something else you value more. But like yeah, if it was possible to have like a woman where you can push a button and they inflate
  • [17:39] Mike: and then they deflate so she can be more active, like that might be compelling.
  • [17:44] Mike: Yeah, that would be really gross. But I'm just saying, like, intellectually, like, I'm just imagining,
  • [17:55] Keith: Okay, so yeah, I mean, if you prefer women with low body fat unless whatever little body fat they have just happens to pull in their breasts and nowhere else, it's hard to find low
  • [18:01] Mike: body fat very unusual, possibly impossible because I think when you see that it's actually just implants in almost all cases. But sure.
  • [18:02] Keith: Yes.
  • [18:08] Keith: Yeah, I would say the uh the vast majority of super skinny women with large breasts are
  • [18:09] Keith: uh
  • [18:11] Keith: enhanced somehow.
  • [18:14] Keith: Do you think,
  • [18:24] Keith: like what could be said to this woman to make her feel better? I'm not sure there is anything like, I think it is true that men generally prefer larger breasts.
  • [18:28] Mike: Yeah, that's right. And so it's not like, I mean,
  • [18:36] Mike: Yeah. Yeah. People have to like, people have to just cope with the reality that like, they're not. Yeah, I mean, whatever, like there's things that are about them that are not
  • [18:45] Mike: ideal from the perspective of, like, cultural or whatever, like r and this one isn't even cultural, this one is like biological, our brains are adapted to
  • [18:49] Mike: value this. And so like Yeah, I mean, they basically just have to
  • [18:57] Mike: Yeah, deal with the fact that that that's not ideal. But there's, I mean, like, look like what it's analogous. You know what it's exactly analogous to a guy who's like 5-foot 6.
  • [19:02] Mike: Like, women do not like 5-foot 6 men, they just don't like it. It's not that they could never
  • [19:10] Mike: very one or something, it's just like it's not it's never going to be like, it's very seldom going to be like the preference. Of course, you can't say never
  • [19:15] Mike: seldom. So it's similar, right? But I mean, that doesn't mean like all five ft six guys commit suicide, you know?
  • [19:32] Keith: Well, okay, Yeah, I mean, there's a small cohort of women who actually prefer it. There's a slightly larger cohort of women who will tolerate it. And then, yeah, most women would really prefer a taller man and yeah, I think it's the same with breast size. Like it sucks. It's strange. I don't actually understand exactly why
  • [19:37] Keith: we prefer it biologically. Certainly we do.
  • [19:43] Keith: Is it? Okay. Well, first off, do women with larger breasts like produce milk better for offspring?
  • [19:46] Keith: Is there any correlation there? Okay.
  • [19:49] Mike: The claim is no, although that could be motivated reasoning because
  • [19:50] Keith: maybe they
  • [19:51] Mike: say it's exactly,
  • [19:54] Keith: let's say it's approximately the same. So then is it that
  • [20:01] Keith: people who have larger breasts are typically more fertile or did they appear more second?
  • [20:12] Mike: Yeah, I think, I mean, I think that fat deposits up to a certain point make you more fertile and as a woman that's more compelling. And then also I think the two things are basically that and
  • [20:13] Mike: like
  • [20:33] Mike: there's some benefit to looking gendered. So it's like outside of like the kind of, there is no gender kind of woke worldview, but like talking evolutionarily like there's some like people just like birds, you know, like a male people peacock has or whichever one of the peacocks has lots of colors and the other one has a class, you know, these kinds of things. Okay,
  • [20:36] Mike: the male has more colors. Is that right?
  • [20:53] Mike: Yes. Okay. Yeah. So similarly like they're these general characteristics and so it's like, yeah, I mean like something that looks different and distinctly female is going to be compelling, right? Just as like there are things that are distinctly male. Like the broad shoulders, like the sort of triangle thing on your back or what, you know the sort of
  • [21:00] Mike: yeah, kind of the way your hips and your shoulders work together as a manner attractive. So I think it's just that and so yeah, so you're basically becoming more androgynous.
  • [21:12] Mike: Um but I mean like by the way, like the thing about he broke up with me because of this, like I'm a little skeptical of that. Like I think this can be overcome very easily through like uh being really good at sex.
  • [21:16] Keith: Yeah, it was an age here, but
  • [21:30] Keith: it is weird how she like defends him even though he appears or apparently has broken up with her because she has small breasts. She's like, oh, you know, he's a nice guy, you know, he can't help his preferences. Yeah. Right.
  • [21:34] Mike: Yeah, I know. I mean there's got to be more to that story than that, I think because it's like
  • [21:41] Mike: the more could just be that she's just average in a bunch of ways or like but like I think that like it would be I don't think it be that hard.
  • [21:48] Mike: I actually think that actually when I was thinking about the thing about a man being short, I actually think a man being short is much worse than this
  • [21:54] Mike: man being short is probably equivalent to a woman being pretty unattractive. Sure, overcome. Sure.
  • [21:57] Keith: Yeah. I think there are plenty of men who are
  • [22:05] Keith: ambivalent about breast size. I think most men prefer larger breasts generally. But it's not
  • [22:09] Keith: Yeah, there are it's not a super important factor and
  • [22:11] Keith: evaluating attractiveness. I found
  • [22:16] Mike: that I think even know other data it is but as soon as you introduce something like this person's
  • [22:25] Mike: their personality but also like just speaking purely physically like Yeah, like they're interesting and quality of sex with them is going to completely trump this in my view. Go on. I
  • [22:28] Keith: think that's right. I found as I get older
  • [22:36] Keith: I care about breast size more. I used to not care at all and it's still not like a majorly important factor to me but
  • [22:40] Keith: I care more than I used to. I don't know how to quantify that but
  • [22:46] Keith: I don't know what's going on there. Maybe I care about fertility more than I did when I was younger.
  • [22:54] Mike: I doubt it. It's probably I yeah, I don't know people. Yeah. Your preferences shift because you get bored. I think I think that happens to everybody.
  • [22:55] Mike: So
  • [22:57] Keith: yeah, maybe I had a
  • [22:58] Keith: serious of
  • [22:59] Mike: anyway. You're
  • [23:04] Mike: you're saying you care about them being larger now than smaller. Yeah,
  • [23:13] Mike: interesting. I would think would be the I actually expected you to say the opposite because of some notion of like if you were dating an older woman that the larger becomes more of a liability
  • [23:15] Mike: since
  • [23:20] Mike: this is solved for you by simply only dating much younger women. Right? Yeah.
  • [23:24] Keith: If you don't date anyone over 35, it's not a problem.
  • [23:29] Keith: Um Okay. All right. I have another topic here. Uh,
  • [23:33] Keith: this person asks how to proceed after he comes in my butt,
  • [23:43] Keith: 24 year old female. And now a person who we haven't done anal stuff for a while. So here we go. I-24 year old female and now a person who does anal sex with my partner, 22 year old male.
  • [23:48] Keith: One of the main reasons I started doing annals because I wanted someone to come inside of me without getting pregnant.
  • [23:51] Keith: I don't take contraceptive pills and I don't intend to.
  • [24:00] Mike: There are other solutions to that. Okay, fine. She doesn't want, you know, I don't intend to. Okay, so there's something weird going on there. But like, yeah, I mean, there are other like that's not that's not.
  • [24:04] Mike: There are other ways to do that. There are ways to skin that cat.
  • [24:05] Mike: But yeah,
  • [24:17] Keith: so let's be interested in a brief sidebar there. But let me finish reading this topic and then we can decide which we want to do first. Okay, so the thing is after it comes inside me, some semen inevitably inevitably drips into my vulva.
  • [24:22] Keith: After that I spent some hours leaking and can't control whether it gets in my vagina or not.
  • [24:36] Keith: It's always a lot of semen to anybody in the same situation. Which which method can I use to safely keep this practice especially want them to keep coming inside of me. Thanks. Okay I have like this one comment. Can I read this one comment first? This is really good. Okay
  • [24:48] Keith: use a condom but not in the way you think instead cover your vagina lengthwise with the condom and then tape it shut with skin tape. So it forms a watertight seal this way. No sperm will get in during her after
  • [25:00] Keith: just imagining setting up this like damn with a condom. You know like whatever that people use on their breasts to like hold their broad place if they have a low cut top.
  • [25:06] Mike: Uh that's obviously just someone kidding around. That would be like a pretty big turn off to encounter that
  • [25:10] Keith: there's like a set up.
  • [25:18] Mike: Well I think the my my I think my initial assumption would be there was some sort of medical procedure that have been done. Like it would be frightening. You'd be like what's what's wrong with you? Why
  • [25:22] Keith: do you have a bandage over your veg? That's bad.
  • [25:25] Mike: So I just want to clarify something here. So this person,
  • [25:27] Mike: this person believes
  • [25:36] Mike: that if he nuts inside of her vagina, she'll get pregnant. But if he mix it with some poop and then it runs down into the vagina. There's no chance she'll get pregnant from that. That's where we're at here.
  • [25:45] Keith: No, I think she's concerned. Okay, first off, this is written by a woman, I think she is concerned that the semen that drips out of her asshole into her vagina will get her pregnant.
  • [25:47] Keith: She's trying to figure out how to avoid
  • [25:48] Keith: pregnancy that way.
  • [25:56] Mike: Oh, because because my take on it was I thought that she was merely complaining about the mess when that happens, and not noticing that
  • [26:06] Mike: there's also this issue with like, that not actually achieving the contraceptive aim. Was she complaining about both, that she's both worried that if there's a mess and that she's going to get pregnant, or was she just worried about the mess? I think
  • [26:11] Keith: she's worried about the pregnancy risk, she wants him to come in her. So,
  • [26:16] Keith: the mess seems like at least a tertiary concern.
  • [26:19] Mike: Got it. You know, your mouth can't get pregnant, but. Okay,
  • [26:23] Mike: so, uh what was the sidebar you wanted to talk about?
  • [26:27] Keith: Well,
  • [26:32] Keith: I think a lot of women don't want to take birth control because it affects them emotionally,
  • [26:37] Keith: and they don't they want to have their like, you know, natural hormones.
  • [26:38] Mike: Okay.
  • [26:41] Mike: Yeah, I mean, they're they're like
  • [26:43] Mike: many, many different
  • [26:46] Mike: kind of strengths and kind of,
  • [26:52] Mike: there's different levels of hormone and stuff that people take to sort of manage that, but sure, okay, fine, there's a there's
  • [26:53] Mike: that's uh
  • [26:54] Mike: Mhm.
  • [27:00] Keith: I'm going to try to beat you into saying something outrageous here. But yeah, it seems like you won't do it.
  • [27:02] Mike: You want me to say it doesn't matter or something.
  • [27:06] Keith: Well I didn't know if you would. I thought there was a possibility.
  • [27:15] Mike: Oh no I think it does matter. Like I mean yeah you definitely look. The thing, the thing that's interesting about that is you encounter both. You encounter women. Oh sorry when I say both
  • [27:23] Mike: uh the complaint you usually encounter is saying it lowers their libido. However you also encounter women saying it raises it right?
  • [27:34] Keith: And so yeah I mean look I think also some women actually prefer the smoothing out effect that some birth controls can have on their hormones.
  • [27:42] Keith: Some women don't want at all someone we want you know want to have things to be as natural as possible. But I think some women prefer like I think if you get certain I. U. D. S. You know you only get your period
  • [27:47] Keith: once every three months or some some never get their period anymore. And I think some people prefer that.
  • [27:59] Mike: That's not I. E. D. That's that's if you take the pill and you just don't like use the placebo pills and and actually like look people can google this are one female listener can google this herself.
  • [28:13] Mike: You don't. There is actually no medical reason to have periods. It's actually an interesting it's an interesting topic and I was talking to my wife about this because we have a daughter and it's like how do you deal with that right? It's like because there is actually no evidence that you need to have a period. And so it's like well
  • [28:23] Mike: so should you know of course the person kidneys to make their own decision ultimately. But it's like is this information they should be aware of that. Like they can just choose to opt out of this. And my understanding is a lot of
  • [28:25] Mike: actually a lot of women do that. They just
  • [28:26] Mike: they just
  • [28:35] Mike: or maybe they have one period every six months or something like they can completely control when it happens. And apparently there's no there's a lot of evidence over a long period of time.
  • [28:43] Mike: People don't need to flutter in box like they can look for themselves. Like I'm sure there's some contrary evidence there usually is in science but like this is not
  • [28:48] Mike: that I'm not saying something controversial here. I'm also not a gynecologist
  • [28:49] Mike: I want to say. Yeah
  • [28:54] Keith: mike I've had I've had multiple partners that have
  • [29:04] Keith: greatly diminished or no periods at all and they on I. E. D. S. And also from uh the shot. Yeah also from the shot. So I think it just depends on the woman
  • [29:06] Keith: I think
  • [29:10] Mike: okay there I. U. D. S. That have hormones and ones that don't maybe the ones that have farmers can knock out
  • [29:14] Keith: there are there's the hormonal I. U. D. And then the copper I. U. D.
  • [29:21] Mike: Yeah the copper when it doesn't make sense to me why it makes more sense of it would make it worse or stronger anyway because you're standing is
  • [29:32] Keith: I mean we don't know what we're talking about here but my understanding is most women who get the copper, you'd actually get heavier periods. I'm not sure if they get heavier homes my understanding as well. Yeah.
  • [29:37] Mike: Well you know there's no hormone in it but that was that was my understanding. Okay so but okay fair there are women.
  • [29:42] Mike: It's funny you encounter both. You encounter women who on Reddit I don't encounter any women in my life
  • [29:55] Mike: but because of Covid but in my personality but Reddit I encounter women who who have who you have this one side words like I don't want to use birth control
  • [29:59] Mike: for you know because it's uncomfortable. It's medically difficult for me.
  • [30:02] Mike: And you encounter women who are like I'm going to use the pill and a condom.
  • [30:06] Mike: So like you see both sides of those but by the way, I mean a condom is another way that he could
  • [30:09] Mike: nut sort of more or less inside her without
  • [30:11] Mike: significant risk of pregnancy.
  • [30:16] Mike: Um Anyway but to the that's sort of a sidebar I guess we could talk about the,
  • [30:19] Mike: I forget. What was that the sidebar. Was that the main thrust?
  • [30:24] Keith: So that was the sidebar. Can you get pregnant from anal sex and the semen dripping out and into your vagina.
  • [30:27] Mike: Of course of course
  • [30:34] Mike: you can get pregnant from you don't think so you think that? But the but the stuff neutralizes the semen, the sperm.
  • [30:38] Keith: I think the mechanics here are such that it's very unlikely,
  • [30:39] Keith: I think
  • [30:43] Keith: it would have to drip out and then like up and in
  • [30:44] Keith: and I think
  • [30:46] Mike: is this motivated reasoning or this something that you
  • [30:49] Keith: do know? This is not
  • [30:50] Keith: well first off,
  • [30:53] Keith: I mean isn't it a thing that people
  • [30:57] Keith: uh have anal sex exclusively
  • [30:58] Keith: to avoid like
  • [31:03] Keith: various catholic issues and to avoid pregnancy generally?
  • [31:13] Mike: I think that's like a historical, I don't even know that might be apocryphal, but it's like a historical thing. Yeah, you would hear or for example, in um muslim countries I think I've read that like
  • [31:26] Mike: there are certain things where that's like a religious, it avoids some sort of religious structure, but I'm not sure that's actually true. It's a good thing. I've heard uh keith, have you have you actually uh I can't remember whether you have.
  • [31:32] Mike: I know you're not the mayor of Brown Town, but whether you've visited, I can't remember I place you visited or you still
  • [31:35] Keith: not. I have not. I have not. Although really?
  • [31:37] Keith: I think
  • [31:38] Keith: that may change
  • [31:42] Keith: in the near future
  • [31:45] Mike: interesting. Yeah. I mean I don't know if
  • [31:47] Mike: the problem is I think that as you get older
  • [31:49] Keith: enthusiastic about it,
  • [31:50] Keith: right?
  • [31:55] Mike: I think as you get older it becomes less and less compelling. And so I I personally would actually
  • [31:58] Mike: not be interested anymore and that as I was much younger age,
  • [32:02] Keith: can you elaborate on that?
  • [32:19] Mike: I think it's yeah I can um it's yeah it's basically it's pretty straightforward, it's you know first of all when you're like really young you have like a lot of hormones and you just want to violate people women, I wanted to violate women, not men, I want to violate women, you know, meaning not illegally, but I just wanted to like
  • [32:27] Mike: do things to them. You know you didn't have access before I get to a certain age, you have a girlfriend, you want to do various things I want to do like all the things right?
  • [32:33] Mike: The other thing alongside that is even though like I grew up in a household with women have a sister and so forth.
  • [32:34] Mike: Ah
  • [32:39] Mike: I don't think yeah there is this like trope of like girls don't poop,
  • [32:45] Mike: right? So girls are good at avoiding that. It's like I don't think I connected it all together very well. As you get older.
  • [32:53] Mike: Like the drive to do every possible violated thing goes down and the knowledge of female fecal
  • [33:01] Mike: bowel movements goes up at some point. Like that crosses over and you're just like yeah I just don't actually want to interact with your bowels,
  • [33:03] Mike: I don't wanna interact with the bowels of another person. Do
  • [33:10] Keith: you think it's possible to prepare in a way that like materially changes your aversion to that.
  • [33:28] Keith: So you read about gay men in particular, but you can also read, So this comes up on the sex, some bread all the time. Like, oh I want to try anal sex for the first time, what should I do? And then, you know, then there's like this parade of comments and they all seem to say like, well, you know, some people like literally fast for like 24 hours
  • [33:34] Keith: or you can, you know, get an enema or they can do various things with a shower
  • [33:41] Keith: attachment. I think I mentioned once have a gay friend who has like a special shower attachment for
  • [33:43] Keith: preparing himself.
  • [33:48] Keith: Uh and so yeah, there are various things you can do to
  • [33:53] Keith: reduce the exposure to fecal matter as you say.
  • [33:58] Keith: Uh does that make a difference for you?
  • [34:04] Mike: No, not, I mean not really. I think, I think that I think that the thing, the only thing that would make a difference at this point would be
  • [34:06] Mike: um
  • [34:06] Mike: Mhm
  • [34:08] Mike: Would be like
  • [34:18] Mike: if something felt more like probably level of arousal, there's probably a level of arousal I could be at like it overcomes the disgust response. And the other thing is like
  • [34:22] Mike: uh this probably isn't great, but it would be something like if,
  • [34:24] Mike: if it was like more
  • [34:25] Mike: violating.
  • [34:34] Mike: So it's like a person like Yeah, I totally, in fact in some ways what you're saying is negative, it's like, look, I totally prepared myself. I went and hosed myself out, I'd be like, well,
  • [34:39] Mike: yeah, I mean like the only way this is because like, it doesn't, it's not any better than the vagina, right? So it's like,
  • [34:44] Mike: in fact, it's not as good feeling wise in my opinion. Um, so
  • [34:50] Mike: yeah, it would be the only thing that's compelling is then this kind of like, let's just say it was like sort of cause playing like that, she
  • [34:55] Mike: kind of didn't want me to do it or there's something I don't actually have like a pain as violent fantasies.
  • [35:01] Mike: Not, maybe not pain, but maybe like, oh, I didn't, I don't, I'm not sure. Like some kind of like
  • [35:09] Mike: going over the line reluctance. Of course you're just playing Yeah, something like that. That I think could like amP it up and make it seem more compelling in the moment.
  • [35:11] Mike: But uh,
  • [35:19] Mike: yeah, I mean, but, but yeah, it would take a fair amount in the situation where it's like a totally, yeah, the thing you said already kind of
  • [35:26] Mike: grossed me out is the wrong word, but maybe totally uninterested when it's like, oh, I have a partner who totally wants to do this. I'm like, well then I, then I don't,
  • [35:35] Keith: yeah, I mean that's a common thing with you, so this makes sense. Okay, wait, I did two more thoughts on the first is, um,
  • [35:38] Keith: uh, I think also
  • [35:43] Keith: women or men can wear like butt plugs throughout the day to sort of loosen things up
  • [35:48] Keith: and that's another way that people prepare and then, do you remember
  • [35:54] Keith: I've tried to search for this online and I haven't found anything that like adequately
  • [35:58] Keith: explains why anal sex can feel better. Like some men like
  • [36:04] Keith: seem to really prefer it even like with their girlfriends, like they're not gay, they just prefer it. So how does it feel?
  • [36:13] Keith: Do you remember it's been a while, sounds like, do you remember how it feels differently or do you just remember that it was different but not quite as good.
  • [36:17] Mike: It's mostly psychological. So let's set that aside. Yeah.
  • [36:18] Keith: Yeah. We sort of got through that.
  • [36:34] Mike: So let's assume that like it was some sort of glory hole situation where like you don't actually know which orifice your penetrating and like you're doing like, you know, there's one of those little ipads post next to it that is like a frowny face. Of flat face and a smiley face and you feel like you get for each orifice what it's like
  • [36:40] Mike: and what I would say and this is true, this is true unfortunately for vaginas to like
  • [36:45] Mike: there's a level of, there's like a mid level of lubrication that gives more friction
  • [36:53] Mike: and with anal, like you basically get to that level for a period of time or it depends on how much you lubricate. Of course, if you lubricate like crazy, that's not going to,
  • [36:57] Mike: which is the thing people say to do. So then it's not gonna be as good but like
  • [37:01] Mike: yeah, I mean like, so, but there can be, you can have some
  • [37:08] Mike: more texture or something but like it quickly becomes less compelling because
  • [37:09] Mike: um
  • [37:17] Mike: you know, I mean your butthole is designed to like, I don't know what the biggest diameter. Yeah, you've, you've ever had. But I mean like it can go,
  • [37:22] Mike: yeah, like you can easily take a butthole and make it so that like it is actually throwing hot. Even if you have a pretty
  • [37:26] Mike: girth the cock, like it is like a hot dog down a hallway, right?
  • [37:45] Mike: I mean if you think your cock is not as big as the biggest poop you've ever shot, like it just isn't around girth wise, probably not lengthwise either. So, so then you pretty quickly, it'll, it'll loosen up, not quickly, maybe after 5, 10 minutes. And then you're in this terrible situation where you basically have shit on your cock.
  • [37:50] Mike: She's letting you do this thing and then it actually can be hard to nut,
  • [38:00] Mike: right? Because you're like, well there's another sensation. Now now what do I do? I go shower? I mean you've got a condom on. But the thing is you take the condom off, but you still there, there's still,
  • [38:01] Mike: I guess they call that Santorum.
  • [38:08] Keith: Yeah, right. Uh Yeah. You know, it gets down, you know to the base of your shaft and stuff. I
  • [38:17] Mike: mean, so you have to, so then there's that race, you have to come pretty quickly, which is easy if you have the psychological dimension and the kind of more so like, yeah, I mean, you know my experience with it. I
  • [38:20] Mike: Would come pretty quick. I do remember one
  • [38:22] Mike: I remember being with a girlfriend
  • [38:24] Mike: where
  • [38:26] Mike: she was like,
  • [38:37] Mike: you need to finish soon. And then I tried to do some sort of cause played cause place the wrong word. I try to do some sort of like things like fantasy. Like she's basically like, no, you don't understand, you need to finish soon because we're starting to hurt.
  • [38:47] Mike: And so that's the other thing. It's like there's like this other dimension or it's like, and that's kind of like, you don't, so then it breaks down, the fantasy falls apart if you start hurting the person unless you're into that, which I'm actually not.
  • [38:48] Mike: Yeah.
  • [38:54] Keith: Yeah. My expectation. My expectation has always been. Yeah, maybe it's a little bit tighter initially.
  • [38:57] Keith: But once you're, once you're in,
  • [39:03] Keith: I mean, the nice thing about a vagina is that there's, there's pressure around your cock all the way in
  • [39:06] Keith: the whole length and with a, with a,
  • [39:10] Keith: with an asshole, you know, there's the sphincter, but once you're in there,
  • [39:14] Keith: it seems like, you know, there's a bit of a cavity a cavern in there.
  • [39:15] Keith: And so
  • [39:24] Mike: yeah, it's the compelling, this is almost purely psychological, like it's and I mean, there is, yeah, I mean look like if you want to kind of,
  • [39:28] Mike: in all in play, but kind of degrade someone. Like, it's a good way to do it.
  • [39:40] Mike: You know, you're having fun. They maybe they're into that they're submissive and so forth. Like, it works very well for that. And so that, like, I think if you have a kind of a dominant submissive relationship, like, like, you've been a girl, we're gonna do this comment that,
  • [39:44] Mike: right? Yeah, Yeah. In that, like, in that context, it makes sense to me.
  • [39:48] Mike: But even then, I think I would have trouble getting that head space because I'm
  • [39:50] Mike: you you said,
  • [39:52] Mike: well, you you said that
  • [40:04] Mike: my stuff is usually about being non consensual. It's not that he thinks that I'm so perceptive that I can tell when something's actually consensual. Yes, I'm too perceptive to fall for consensual. Non consent. That's what it is. All right. That was I care too much.
  • [40:14] Keith: That's right. That was a bad read on my part. I apologize. All right. Next topic. Where are all the high libido guys? I keep finding myself with guys that are not as sexual as I'd hoped. They'd be.
  • [40:30] Keith: There was even a period when I thought I was overly sexual more than what's normal because I felt like I'm basically begging sexual romantic partners for intimacy. But I don't think that's true. I'm really fine with having sex once a week, what I'm not fine with is once a month with me being the initiator, It's literally all of my experience. Am I doing something wrong,
  • [40:38] Keith: Is it that when we reach that stage and they sent some very sexual, I stopped being interesting because sex comes easy. I don't understand. It makes me feel unhappy and unattractive.
  • [40:43] Keith: If this isn't my problem and it's just them being themselves, How do I always get men with lower libido than mine?
  • [40:52] Keith: I feel like media and what's spoken about publicly is about men being so sexual and I'm struggling to wrap my head around the difference between this and my experience.
  • [40:54] Keith: Mm
  • [40:57] Mike: You know, thoughts. I have a thought. I mean
  • [40:58] Mike: well
  • [41:13] Keith: I have a I have a few random thoughts here. So obviously there are differences in libido. I think what often happens in relationships is there's a flywheel effect. So one person has a maybe a slightly higher libido than the other
  • [41:16] Keith: and that person starts always being the initiator
  • [41:30] Keith: and then the other person starts getting annoyed by that. And so they are always sort of like pulling away and then this builds on itself, right? Like the initiator gets more and more desperate, which is less and less attractive to the person that was already slightly less
  • [41:37] Keith: into things in the first place. And so this can get off the rails with a bad force, feedback loop pretty quickly.
  • [41:43] Mike: Now this is what's interesting for our listeners, We probably discussing this in the past, but not extensively, Is that keith is when
  • [41:50] Mike: Yeah keith is actually the low libido person in this scenario. So he has scenario, he has, he actually this this perhaps this um
  • [41:56] Mike: are typically typically that would be him lower. Maybe I'll say that lower, not low.
  • [42:01] Mike: Uh so like this speaks to you, right? I mean you can imagine being this dude.
  • [42:11] Keith: Yeah, it's tricky. I mean I don't really have myself fully self diagnosed here, but normally my libido is extremely high for the first,
  • [42:12] Keith: you know,
  • [42:14] Keith: a little while
  • [42:20] Keith: and then I bore of partners more quickly than I think most people do. It's not that
  • [42:33] Keith: Yeah, I mean I'm I masturbate a ton even in my phases where I'm like not attracted to a long period partners, so I don't know if libido is the right word, but I mean for the sake of this conversation. Sure, yeah, like I've been in this situation where
  • [42:39] Keith: I've been putting up defense mechanisms and trying to pull away from physical intimacy with a long term partner.
  • [42:49] Mike: Have you ever keith? So my experience is much more like the normal experience of being, sorry, in quote big air quotes the normal experience for a guy of being like somewhat higher.
  • [43:02] Mike: I've not been in this experience of being massively higher, I don't think I have to think about it, but not not not for enough time for it to be like a major issue in my life, but like yeah I have the common male experience that the male is on the higher side.
  • [43:11] Mike: Um And I think that part of that is just hormones like guys don't have like the cycle of hormones that like sort of make it more and less interesting at different points in the month, but keith um
  • [43:17] Mike: Have you ever been the high libido partner in a relationship that lasted more than like a month?
  • [43:20] Keith: Um Yes,
  • [43:21] Keith: twice.
  • [43:25] Keith: And both times. It was because
  • [43:30] Keith: I think it was because the person was generally sort of irritated by me
  • [43:32] Keith: and
  • [43:37] Keith: yeah, that drove me crazy. Like it made me much more.
  • [43:42] Keith: Yeah, it's sort of extended the runway on my on my normal
  • [43:45] Keith: high amount of sexual desire.
  • [44:03] Mike: Yeah. So, I mean that's that's the thing. I wonder is that like if So I mean, my reaction to this poster was going to be Yeah, they're probably ok. There's the easy, there's the easy answer which is like, look, you're you're unattractive in some way. Sure. Guys just like the guys are ultimately looking for like something like a one night stand with you. And I think that
  • [44:11] Mike: like for a woman when you follow some level of attractiveness and it can just be something you can't fix. It can be weight. It can be a you can be a variety of things like
  • [44:18] Mike: Yeah, I mean like guys are just gonna lie to you basically. And so you have this kind of a bummer experience Again and again, let's set that aside because it's not as interesting
  • [44:23] Mike: um there definitely could be something that she's doing that causes her to
  • [44:32] Mike: appeal to our appealing men that have this trade and I'm not sure exactly what that would be. Uh But similarly similarly for you.
  • [44:36] Mike: Yeah, I was gonna say similar for you, it's it's somewhat likely that you
  • [44:37] Mike: ah
  • [44:41] Mike: yeah, basically you create that flywheel like in other words like you don't uh
  • [44:53] Mike: Yeah like because the thing is it's not it's my theory on this would be that it's not that you, in some cases you start off with the vastly different Latinos but in most cases it's not that it's that you start off with a small difference. But it's the thing you said keith like it gets like
  • [44:55] Mike: compounded by
  • [45:04] Mike: the chasing and the pulling away thing and then after some number of months or weeks or whatever like it's really far apart. Anyway. I'm curious what you think in terms of
  • [45:07] Mike: this partner selection criteria though. Yeah.
  • [45:08] Keith: Well
  • [45:17] Keith: I don't know if it's her like partner selection but she could be doing something that is making this happen sooner than it typically would or more often than it typically would. Like she could be
  • [45:20] Mike: just in front of him. No, she's
  • [45:22] Mike: she's so available that would do it
  • [45:26] Keith: that would do it. Yeah Esther Perel talks about
  • [45:28] Keith: keeping the bathroom door closed.
  • [45:29] Keith: Uh
  • [45:32] Keith: the uh Yeah but she could be
  • [45:34] Keith: like I think
  • [45:39] Keith: I don't know if this is true, but I know for me it's nice to be forced to pursue a little bit
  • [45:44] Keith: and if somebody is just so obviously always available to me,
  • [45:45] Keith: it's
  • [45:52] Keith: it can be a bit, I don't know if it's a turn off, but it certainly doesn't trigger my pursuit reflex
  • [45:52] Keith: or by pursuit
  • [46:01] Mike: incident. That's a consequence of is that this is a consequence of you just being so awesome or physically attractive or how you pick people or something else,
  • [46:02] Keith: I don't know.
  • [46:05] Keith: Yeah, it's probably because I'm just so attractive.
  • [46:06] Keith: Uh
  • [46:10] Keith: I'm kidding. Yeah, I think it's it's uh
  • [46:12] Keith: I mean,
  • [46:16] Mike: doesn't know, it could be because it could be their scenario, we're afraid you'll
  • [46:22] Keith: oh, you think they're throwing themselves at me because they think that's what I want and they that's like a
  • [46:35] Mike: it's not that it's like I think that so my you know, my thesis of how this works, I I believe I I basically believe, I agree like 80% with the in self sadly involuntary celibate view of the world. Involuntary yeah.
  • [46:41] Mike: In the sense that I believe they're basically normal guys and then they're chads and I think keith is sort of a low chad, you're not like
  • [46:52] Mike: top shelf chad, you're sort of like a low to mid shelf chat, but still you're still a chad or a keith welcome, I'm not a chad, so it's I'm looking up at you, I'm not throwing stones down on you.
  • [46:53] Mike: Um
  • [46:55] Mike: But but the uh
  • [46:57] Mike: so
  • [47:12] Mike: yeah, basically, like when a girl is dating a guy that she knows is at that level and I think they know, I think they know when a guy is in the sort of top 5% physical attractiveness, they're they're afraid the whole time that the guy is just gonna bail, because they know they know what the deal is, They know if that guy goes to a bar,
  • [47:16] Mike: They're like 1, 2, 3 other women are gonna throw themselves at him.
  • [47:23] Mike: Whereas if they're dating a guy that's more normal attractiveness, they don't that it does not trigger that fear. That would be my thought.
  • [47:24] Keith: I
  • [47:29] Keith: have not considered that in the past, it could be that really
  • [47:35] Keith: well. Okay, so your hypothesis is that for some men, women behave
  • [47:41] Keith: more promiscuously promiscuous that the right word that more more openly, they're more they're more available for sex
  • [47:44] Keith: than they otherwise might be. Because there yeah,
  • [47:51] Mike: It's an interesting, I think if you gained, I think if you gained £50, your relationships with women would be vastly different in this area.
  • [47:57] Mike: I think like they would treat you very differently because they would have much less concern
  • [48:05] Mike: that you Yeah, because it's just there there's that you're above that threshold, or like shit, like if I leave, if I leave him for like a week,
  • [48:12] Mike: he's going to find some other girl easily. Yeah, that concerns always president, I think in people's minds, by the way. I think for a man.
  • [48:23] Mike: Look, every guy knows that almost every woman, like with large percentage of women basically amount to chad's in that in that context that they can easily find another partner almost immediately.
  • [48:24] Mike: Maybe half of women can
  • [48:25] Mike: maybe more.
  • [48:28] Mike: Um and
  • [48:39] Mike: yeah, but the flip side is that these are arguably biological differences. I would argue women have less desire to do that. Women don't want to sleep around typically as much and so than that,
  • [48:43] Mike: that makes us able to live with ourselves. But women know that men are inclined to write,
  • [48:48] Mike: although keith you are a very you have a high level fidelity to women, right?
  • [48:49] Mike: You don't do that.
  • [48:50] Keith: I do. I don't like
  • [48:52] Mike: your bad luck.
  • [48:55] Keith: But it's not it's not that I can, it's not that
  • [48:58] Keith: I feel like I couldn't. It's that I don't
  • [49:07] Keith: Yeah, I've never tried but like I think even considering cheating or doing something behind my partner's back fields,
  • [49:09] Keith: I don't know. I don't know.
  • [49:12] Keith: I mean it's just a moral construct. I don't know why I feel this way, but
  • [49:16] Keith: yeah, deceiving my friend
  • [49:26] Mike: right? And I feel deceived not to see if I feel disappointed in you because I feel like you ought to deceive them. It bothers me that someone who has the ability to do that doesn't
  • [49:27] Keith: like what's wrong, wasted
  • [49:32] Mike: opportunity letting us down. Exactly. It's pretty irritating.
  • [49:33] Mike: You don't think
  • [49:38] Keith: there's something a woman could do to like make herself to available.
  • [49:40] Keith: Yes.
  • [49:43] Keith: In a way that would be a turn off consistently.
  • [49:44] Mike: Yeah.
  • [49:48] Mike: So I have a friend who is in this situation actually right now
  • [49:52] Mike: with a woman, he's stating, I want to keep him nameless, uh,
  • [49:57] Mike: so that we don't have, so that this day if the woman listens there won't be an issue,
  • [50:02] Mike: but uh, and he's actually described this exact concern of like
  • [50:08] Mike: maybe, uh, too, too much availability that she's, she's very, has a high libido and like, yeah, I mean there's a point where the guys, like
  • [50:11] Mike: now he says he likes it, but on the other hand, it's like,
  • [50:13] Mike: yeah, I mean like it just,
  • [50:35] Mike: I don't know, like you want some mystery or something. There's like, guys do want to sort of conquer territory and if you just totally, or like, look, you know, just just send me a text and I'll be on my knees, you know, five minutes later if I can in front of you blowing you like that. Yeah. At some point you're like, okay, but you know, so yeah, you have a, maybe a guy's ment mentally will think, okay, we'll put that in my pocket and then I'll find another girl,
  • [50:37] Keith: right?
  • [50:38] Mike: Because
  • [50:44] Keith: they don't need to allocate, they don't need to allocate any resources into securing sex in that arena.
  • [50:45] Keith: It's,
  • [50:49] Mike: yeah. It's like you found the cheat code for a game or something. It's like,
  • [50:53] Keith: uh, I don't have to play the game of affairs to like
  • [51:02] Keith: for best sustainability is for the guy to want sex more than the woman. I think it's
  • [51:06] Keith: yes, it's hard mode to have that reversed.
  • [51:15] Mike: Yes. Which is why you should score if I your face and then switch to the, maybe they actually probably more attractive. Maybe wait game referred. Okay.
  • [51:26] Keith: I mean, I already eat a lot of pancakes. I'll see if I can step it up. Okay. All right, let me see. I think we have time for maybe one or two more topics. Okay. This person says
  • [51:29] Keith: one change, improved my writing technique by tenfold.
  • [51:45] Keith: Last night I was over at my boyfriend's place. We had sex. Of course he last very long. 45 minutes or so. We usually do Cowgirl because I loved that position and so does he. He made one. I made one very small change instead of being on my knees, I sort of squatted and was on my feet.
  • [51:58] Keith: Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah. That, that both those visuals are total sense to me. Yeah. I also tried more things out and when I leaned back a little and then rode, wow, this made a world of difference and he finished in less than 10 minutes.
  • [52:03] Keith: It felt fantastic for me too. And it brought me to orgasm slightly faster than him.
  • [52:08] Keith: So setting aside, there's like 45 minutes nonsense. Um
  • [52:09] Keith: mm
  • [52:12] Keith: What is that nonsense? I just,
  • [52:13] Keith: I mean,
  • [52:15] Keith: yeah,
  • [52:18] Keith: she implies that they're having sex every day
  • [52:23] Keith: And maybe they're just having sex once a day, like 45 come on.
  • [52:26] Mike: Like Yeah, no, that's not right. She's she's conflating
  • [52:30] Keith: every once in a while. But you know. Yeah.
  • [52:36] Mike: Yeah, I mean, but the 45 minutes in the long term thing, I mean, this is a message to our female listener again.
  • [52:54] Mike: if the guy is consistently lasting that long, it's because he's beating off a lot a lot. He uses a lot of porn. That's what that means. It's it's male death grip. Like, like if yeah, I mean like that's it's fine. It's fine. But that's what that means. It means that he's probably actually be in trouble coming with you because he's,
  • [52:55] Mike: his penis is tired.
  • [52:58] Mike: Um So, I feel like,
  • [53:04] Keith: I mean 45 minutes, like it's just my abs and absolutely sore.
  • [53:05] Keith: Yeah,
  • [53:11] Mike: I guess they're not thrusting for 45 minutes straight there fondling each other. I mean, like, look like just bringing a
  • [53:14] Mike: a woman to an actual orgasm.
  • [53:18] Mike: Typically takes like 20 minutes or something. So there's 20, fair enough. You know?
  • [53:29] Mike: So, I don't think I don't find that that's surprising. Yes. If he was thrusting for 45 minutes. I think the woman, yeah, I get an image in my head of the woman, like reading the newspaper. You done back there? Yeah.
  • [53:34] Keith: So okay. All right. So I brought this up because okay, so there's the standard
  • [53:35] Keith: ah
  • [53:38] Keith: yeah, where they're sort of squatting
  • [53:42] Keith: over you, right? So their knees are next to your hips or whatever,
  • [53:49] Keith: Right? And then there's uh yeah, she proposes this this new revolutionary technique where she's on her feet.
  • [53:54] Keith: Um And yeah, when she's on her feet, she can control the motion a bit more.
  • [53:59] Keith: The thing I don't like about when the woman is on her feet
  • [54:01] Keith: is she does control the motion more.
  • [54:07] Keith: And if she's moving like sort of vigorously, there's some risk of
  • [54:09] Keith: my cock getting,
  • [54:13] Keith: you know, stomped on in a way that is not great.
  • [54:14] Keith: So
  • [54:15] Mike: that positions cowgirl risks.
  • [54:18] Keith: Yeah, it feels good. But
  • [54:22] Keith: you know, you don't want to fly too close to the sun.
  • [54:25] Mike: That's actually not what I worry about. I worry about her
  • [54:31] Mike: uh winding up with the knees like those of like johnny bench for one of the famous catcher's baseball
  • [54:39] Mike: I worry about, I mean they do I know that catchers have these sort of springy things they can wear on their knees to make it easy to kind of pop up after the catch the pitch, these babies
  • [54:46] Keith: on their calves to like lower the straight on their legs. Yeah, that's a good idea. She should buy a pair of those.
  • [54:49] Mike: I think so. I mean, it's actually the guys listening
  • [54:52] Mike: for the guys listening like try just,
  • [54:58] Mike: you know, you don't just get a pillow, put it on the ground, you can do it now if you want to put a pillow on the ground
  • [55:15] Mike: uh and squat over it, make it the pill of thick enough, that's sort of the thickness of a torso. It's got over it and try doing this going up and down about six inches for me, you know, seven for keith, maybe less up and down again and again and see how many times you can do that
  • [55:24] Mike: without. And I don't think like, so there's to me, there's like a little humble brag here. It's like, oh, I found this thing that like, I can do like, look, most women,
  • [55:32] Mike: You would need a harness or the Johnny Bench knee things and that wouldn't even necessarily fix this is very difficult to do for longer than, say 30 seconds.
  • [55:35] Mike: It is very it does feel good for the guy.
  • [55:42] Mike: Um it tightens things up because it's hard physically, the muscles have to work. But I mean, like,
  • [55:48] Mike: that's the problem here, right? And I mean, and like anything yeah, I hear your point about, like, the risk of the
  • [55:56] Mike: broken penis syndrome. Like anything, it will desensitize, like it's not if you if a woman was able to do it for five minutes, I don't know if it would still feel as good, I've never
  • [56:01] Mike: encountered that because women typically can't do this. I mean, what's the longest you've ever had a woman do this.
  • [56:07] Keith: Yeah, I mean, it's not physically comfortable for more than a minute or so
  • [56:11] Mike: because it's very hard. I mean, people should try it themselves.
  • [56:14] Keith: That's a good recommendation to try it. It's uh
  • [56:16] Keith: it's surely hard,
  • [56:23] Mike: Hard part of what's hard is that you, is that like, you think that and I was joking about the distance would say 6" up and down. You think like
  • [56:27] Mike: whatever you might think, like it's actually like, and if you do like a class at
  • [56:37] Mike: a fitness club or something, like a common thing, they'll have, you do, that's really hard to do a squat and then go up and down small amounts. But you always think about it, you're like, when they have you do that, you're like, oh, is this for women to practice fucking
  • [56:42] Mike: God, I've never thought about that before. So like maybe I'm in the gym practicing fucking is like anyway, like
  • [56:49] Mike: it's hard, it's much harder to do that than to go all the way up and down, in my opinion, because you're like, you're exercising the same little group of muscles again and again, it's difficult.
  • [56:57] Keith: Yeah, I mean it's mitigated a bit, they can put their hands on your chest or on the, on to the side a little bit. Probably your chest would be best.
  • [57:02] Keith: Um or if they're facing the other way, you can hold them up a little. Yeah,
  • [57:05] Keith: but those are just mitigating factors. The general thing of like,
  • [57:06] Mike: have you ever had
  • [57:08] Keith: pivoting is hard.
  • [57:10] Mike: I was gonna ask you if you've ever had your cock
  • [57:16] Mike: crushed or broken or any sort of damage from this or the reverse position mildly just
  • [57:26] Keith: never to a point where I was like oh my god we have to stop having sex now. And I need to like evaluate my systems you know, a little bit but never
  • [57:29] Keith: it's never been smashed.
  • [57:31] Keith: But that is
  • [57:32] Keith: always have
  • [57:37] Keith: concerned. I don't think I have nightmares about it, but I've envisioned it before.
  • [57:43] Mike: Yeah. It makes it makes the it makes the activity much less compelling like yeah if I watch a reverse cowgirl porn
  • [57:49] Mike: I think to myself, you know we've talked about this before like yes a lot of times they kind of cold the base of the cock to make sure it doesn't like
  • [57:54] Mike: pinch or like kind of cut in half weirdly like a bend.
  • [57:57] Mike: Yeah it's not not great.
  • [57:58] Keith: Um.
  • [57:58] Keith: Mhm.
  • [58:01] Keith: Okay. I have one last
  • [58:05] Keith: uh I think are you aware of the word centralization?
  • [58:12] Keith: S. Y. N. T. R. I. B. E. A. T. I. O. N.
  • [58:21] Mike: Is that like a neologism? Is that like cis gender? And and some I'm not sure because there's a real thing. When was this word invented? No, I'm not aware of it if
  • [58:24] Keith: you google. So it came up in a threat, I'm about to read
  • [58:29] Keith: if you google it, there's no Merriam Webster or you know O. E. D. Definition. But there
  • [58:30] Mike: is a subreddit for
  • [58:32] Keith: it and
  • [58:40] Keith: uh at fuck blogging dot com slash integration. There is also, I think that's the urban dictionary of uh
  • [58:42] Keith: of sex terms. Although I guess urban dictionary
  • [58:47] Mike: is the urban dictionary for for our listeners because I'm trying to put it in red and I can't get it.
  • [58:49] Keith: S Y. N.
  • [58:50] Keith: T. R. I
  • [58:52] Keith: patient B A. T. I O N.
  • [58:56] Mike: I did that. There is no subreddit for center Beijing the obvious
  • [58:58] Keith: centralization.
  • [58:58] Keith: Mhm.
  • [59:02] Mike: Are a trust, no centrists, centrists,
  • [59:09] Keith: centrists. S Y. N. T. R. I. B E A T I O A
  • [59:18] Mike: Sorry, sorry for being stupid. Got it. Uh when I first read the word masturbation when I was like in fifth grade or something, I thought it was master bash in.
  • [59:22] Mike: What are you talking about? It's embarrassing anyway. Okay, what is this about?
  • [59:24] Keith: Okay, centralization. Is
  • [59:26] Mike: it between the legs?
  • [59:30] Keith: Yes, this is OK. All right. Here's the post. I can come by crossing, hang
  • [59:43] Mike: on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Oh it's squeezing because I thought I I know there's this thing where you put your cock between a woman's legs and just rows back and forth. And I know that is intra or inter cruel,
  • [59:50] Mike: cruel and I think cruz is the latin word for leg, is that right? That doesn't sound right, Does it crucify? Anyway,
  • [59:55] Mike: so this is something different. This is like when people just like squeeze their thigh muscles together.
  • [60:06] Keith: Yeah, so this 25 year old lady says just realized the other day that I can orgasm by just squeezing my legs together? Has anyone heard of this before? And I just a freak of nature
  • [60:17] Keith: and the top responses it's called centralisation. A lot of people learn to orgasm that way. Some people actually have trouble orgasm with partners because their bodies have become so used to Central Station,
  • [60:20] Keith: I have not heard of this before
  • [60:21] Keith: and um you know I
  • [60:24] Mike: had had another word,
  • [60:26] Keith: I'm a little
  • [60:27] Keith: suspicious.
  • [60:31] Mike: So so they we watched a lesbian porn some months back
  • [60:35] Mike: which had what was called Trib tripping,
  • [60:37] Mike: which is to lesbian women rubbing their
  • [60:41] Mike: badges together, sort of sizzling. Sizzling.
  • [60:48] Mike: Sizzling is going to be the normal word for that and this is just like sizzling for one sort of it's like you're just sizzling your own legs together kind of
  • [60:50] Mike: is interesting. I mean
  • [60:57] Keith: the thing with sizzling, the thing with scissoring is, sorry tribalism or tripping is
  • [61:05] Keith: you can you get pressure on your clip in a way that I don't think you can exactly when you cross your legs, but it must be from
  • [61:06] Mike: when
  • [61:11] Keith: you cross your legs, if you cross them really tightly, you can sort of rub back and forth on your clit or something
  • [61:16] Mike: for starters, you know that you can crush your balls with your legs, you know that because sometimes you have to adjust them
  • [61:17] Mike: and I think if you like
  • [61:21] Keith: their lower down, your cop aren't they?
  • [61:22] Keith: Maybe not
  • [61:29] Mike: thinking here, remember remember the remember the Reddit? I think it's lower than you think. It's always lower than you think.
  • [61:31] Keith: Yes. Right, okay.
  • [61:33] Mike: It faces downward when they stand up,
  • [61:38] Keith: you're right. I think balls are, my scrotum is actually around the same level as a clip,
  • [61:40] Mike: right?
  • [61:44] Mike: So you would be able to sort of capture that? No, it makes sense. I watched a brief
  • [61:50] Mike: gif on that subreddit, it's actually not very compelling to watch because it's like literally nothing is happening and she's wearing underwear. It's
  • [61:53] Keith: just the Sharon Stone scene and uh
  • [61:55] Mike: well, I mean, it was just
  • [61:56] Keith: some what's that movie,
  • [62:05] Mike: barely fatal attraction, probably fatal attraction. That's the movie or not? No, no, that's that's wrong. It's not fatal attraction. Maybe indecent proposal.
  • [62:07] Mike: Uh No, it doesn't matter,
  • [62:12] Keith: it doesn't matter. Everyone knows the same
  • [62:17] Mike: uh Basic instinct. Basic instinct is correct. And Logan.
  • [62:19] Mike: Yes.
  • [62:22] Keith: Okay, is it the first link on centralization? How do I see
  • [62:23] Mike: this? Yeah, I click that,
  • [62:27] Mike: I've got another one. It's some the second page,
  • [62:30] Mike: wow, she's doing some sort of yoga pose?
  • [62:33] Mike: Uh huh.
  • [62:35] Mike: Yeah, I mean,
  • [62:40] Mike: I don't yeah, I mean, this is what this is is this is some some uh analog of death grip
  • [62:52] Mike: where it's like you come up with this way of doing it, that works and then you don't want to go back through the learning curve or it's hard for you to go back through the learning curve of learning a different way and the downside of course to doing it this way is that like it limits your
  • [62:58] Mike: range of motion in terms of like how many different sensations you can get. I mean your hand is much more
  • [63:02] Mike: or a guy's tongue or whatever is much more flexible and capable
  • [63:11] Mike: then just your thighs pressing together and so it's Yeah I mean I mean but to each their own and also it's like hard, it's impossible for a partner to simulate this.
  • [63:20] Mike: A very common complaint with women is that they learned how to do it with a pillow, They hump a pillow and then like they can't come with a partner because
  • [63:29] Mike: to have an orgasm they have to lie on their stomach and do this really specific thing. And the guy I guess you could penetrate them from behind maybe. Although even that might make it hard for them to
  • [63:32] Mike: get the stimulation they need. Probably would actually.
  • [63:35] Mike: So that's the downside is it's like you would you would advise like
  • [63:39] Keith: training yourself to enjoy centralization.
  • [63:47] Mike: Yeah it would be like as a guy, if you let's say you could only come with a pair of your gym shorts gently used stroked between your
  • [63:49] Keith: legs.
  • [63:50] Mike: Yeah.
  • [63:56] Mike: Which I don't know maybe that was a problem for you like early on in your romantic life,
  • [64:01] Keith: I don't think I've ever really struggled to reach orgasm.
  • [64:09] Keith: It's not to say that I reach orgasm too quickly, I would say. I mean that that that goldilocks in
  • [64:12] Mike: Less than 45. More than five.
  • [64:12] Mike: Uh
  • [64:13] Keith: huh.
  • [64:25] Keith: No, less than less than well, whatever. Yeah, there's there's some reasonable place to be where you come in a reasonable amount of time. I feel like I have reasonable orgasm control.
  • [64:30] Keith: Maybe I maybe it was worse when I was younger, but it certainly wasn't that it took too long.
  • [64:32] Mike: Sure. Sure.
  • [64:33] Mike: Makes sense.
  • [64:33] Mike: All
  • [64:39] Keith: right. I think we've litigated enough sex topics today. You have anything else you want to add?
  • [64:41] Mike: No, that's it. Thanks everybody who made it this far.
  • [64:52] Keith: Yeah. Yeah. God help you. So that'll do it for episode 39 of your mileage may vary as a reminder. You can contact us at y mmV pod at gmail dot com.