YMMV - Your Mileage May Vary Podcast

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Episode 45: 1000-Stroke Sessions, Condom Removal Strategy, Wetness, Lesbian Anal Sex, Hotel Porn

Team YMMV | 12-8-2021 | 1:06:08

Read The Transcript

Mike discovers that people on the Internet (and Keith, apparently) measure their masturbation sessions using their step tracking devices. Apparently a "1000-stroke session" is a long one, with the typical male masturbation experience being more like 500 strokes. Stay tuned for the female equivalent (if that can be properly measured).

This week's porn is lesbian anal sex, which involves a strap-on and really doesn't look that pleasurable for either party, though we're open to having our minds changed on that front.

Keith likes to remove the condom sometimes (with partner consent) toward the end of sex to make more of a mess. And, we discuss the disappearance of hotel porn a decade ago as travelers carried their devices with them.

To follow along with the video discussed at the beginning of the episode:

https://ymmv.me/45/lesbian-anal

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/45/condom

https://ymmv.me/45/labia

https://ymmv.me/45/wetness

https://ymmv.me/45/on-bottom

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships I am Keith my co-host is Mike Hello Mike So you guys know the drill please rate and review us.
[00:09] Mike: Akif.
[00:13] Keith: On your podcast app of choice if you'd like to reach us with a private question or a public question for the show or for some feedback you can do that at y m mv pod at gmail dot com we pay 15 u s dollars to anyone who contacts us there so get to it. So mike my brother-in-law. Um, has found the podcast. He didn't find it I I told him basically what happened was I was trying to send you a link to something pretty raunchy from the sex subreddit and I accidentally sent it to him. You know I considered lying and tried to make up an excuse but you know sort of the cat was 3 quarters of the way out of the bag there. So I just I came clean my the rest of my family still doesn't know and hopefully it remains that way. But anyway, go ahead.
[01:00] Mike: You feel you can trust your I mean because obviously saying your brother in law has it implies a sister might have it So that's kind of interesting. He's sort of said he's not going to give it to your sister.
[01:12] Keith: Yeah I think he has correctly ascertained that the amount of pain he would feel from the hand-wrigging of my mom and sisters discovering this podcast is greater than whatever mild joy he might get by by spilling the beans and so yeah I think.
[01:27] Mike: Got it? okay.
[01:31] Keith: Yeah, we have like a mutually assured destruction there if if he shares if he shares this anyway that was all long weed way of saying he shared some feedback that I use the word compelling too often have you noticed this. Do do think I do.
[01:45] Mike: I haven't noticed that we could go through the our robot generated transcripts to find that I think probably you use it in the context of like a way of saying that a particular piece of online content is interesting to you or something like that.
[01:59] Keith: Yeah I mean that's exactly it like this is a podcast about sex and as is often the case with this subject, you're trying to discover what makes something more or less compelling or compelling or not at all and so I feel like. Feel like it's ah it's like a term of art. That's not the right word. It's ah it's just something that comes up a lot in the subject and so I sort of reject his criticism of my overuse.
[02:27] Mike: Did did he go and like listen to every episode or something.
[02:31] Keith: Um, he said that he had listened to I think the word he used was several.
[02:35] Mike: Interesting. That's ah, that's a lot of time commitment right? there I mean bravo.
[02:39] Keith: Yeah, well I mean our content is awfully compelling So I'm not surprised.
[02:43] Mike: Sure sure no and we do and we do get a lot I mean we actually can tell from our various data feeds that we get a lot of people that kind of come in and listen to a bunch of episodes in a row so he must have been 1 of those ah those ah heavy listeners there.
[02:58] Keith: I Ah yeah, okay you said I've listened to a bunch of episodes. You said it's funny to hear my griefing you which I don't I'd reject that piece of feedback as well.
[03:10] Mike: Yeah I don't know I don't know the man. So but I guess I guess that's he's ah he's ah complimenting me. So thank you.
[03:16] Keith: Yeah I'll pass out along or you know perhaps he'll discover he'll he'll hear it himself. Ah I wanted to bring up another thing. That's a little bit strange. Um, so I'm seeing somebody right now and I spent ah the Thanksgiving weekend. At her mother's place and I want to bring up the subject of having sex near your parents and I thought you might have some insight on this since you have children of your own now Presumably they're not having sex yet. But what. How do you think you will react to the knowledge that they have become sexually active like is that gross to you is it just something you slowly prepare yourself for or how does that go.
[04:06] Mike: Well I mean I think that like the the first thing I would say is like the standard ah kind of reddit feedback on this which is like when somebody says they did something like oh you know? ah you know 1 time I gave my boyfriend a hand job in the backseat of the car while his parents were driving and then people say.
[04:26] Keith: Right.
[04:26] Mike: They knew and like generally like I would say that as a teen for example I well, it's always difficult to think about your parents in this way but like I ah I'm sure they were much more aware. What was actually going on than than I gave them credit for. I think that like the first thing to realize is like yeah I mean like they they know what's up and so you said it was your girlfriend's Mom's place yeah so she knows what the drill is she knows what's going to transpire in all likelihood there and so then it so first of all that like so that that she.
[04:50] Keith: Yes.
[05:03] Mike: Yeah, there's no chance that she doesn't know what's going to happen and the second thing is that ah then then it just becomes like yeah I mean like look like she doesn't want to nobody wants to see their kid or their parent engaged in sex right? Yeah, so it's like so it's basically like.
[05:14] Keith: I Think that's to a rough approximation true. Yes.
[05:21] Mike: Now It's just like it's ah it's mildly annoying because you want to sort of avoid that situation and so then you know like the obvious things of like making sure that people have their own bedroom or whatever like so it's it's it's straightforward for them to avoid this and then yeah I mean like you often by the way read on like the sex I read it like. Both boys and girls like I guess teenagers getting walked in on by a parent usually masturbating not always I remember I Remember a a female friend. Not a not a partner in any way but a friend who had a story. She used to tell about Um, how.
[05:43] Keith: Yeah, it's It's a common trope. Yep.
[05:57] Mike: Story was that her mom had walked in on her and her boyfriend in high school and they were quote unquote not facing each other if if you get the drift she was in the in the dog as it were and that she was like she was it had been like ten years and she was still like you know, not happy about that.
[05:59] Keith: Okay.
[06:12] Keith: Um, traumatized by it. Yeah.
[06:16] Mike: Yeah, so I mean like you know I like you definitely want to like lock the door or whatever like like make it but but general see here's the thing if the door is closed like the parent's not going to walk in right and if they do It's on purpose.
[06:27] Keith: Right? right? right? right? Yeah, it's It's not like it doesn't occur to them. What could be happening behind that locked door like they know what's up.
[06:33] Mike: Right? I mean if they don't know you're in there. Maybe they're just going to put something away I mean these are like so there could be something where they don't have the knowledge you're there or whatever. But if they know you're in there like it's yeah they know like that's yeah, that's the most important thing here I think.
[06:44] Keith: What about like masturbating how old how old is your son I can't remember oh.
[06:50] Mike: 13
[06:57] Keith: Ah, do you think he is I think I think I had my first orgasm I think I masturbated the first time when I was 13 actually I think I was 12 Well do you think he has or hasn't you wanted to split deep. Okay, fair enough.
[07:05] Mike: Yeah I mean obviously I'm not going to comment on that. Yeah.
[07:13] Mike: I'm not going to comment not going to comment on that. Yeah I mean as a jo you know as a general matter like it's certainly possible. You know for a general kid. But I mean like every individual person is different I think for me it was let me think my age was might have been 14
[07:16] Keith: Yeah, so yes.
[07:23] Keith: Right? men.
[07:29] Mike: But yeah, it's definitely like ah directionally the right age range.
[07:30] Keith: Right? right? right? So you're saying my parents probably knew about the sleeping bag now.
[07:36] Mike: Ah, there's a chance. Yeah well I don't Ah I think like that level of detail. But yeah, honestly, like yeah I mean this is like for ah for a teenage boy like like yeah I mean they know way more about what's going on there than you want them to or think they do at that age or at least that I did at that age nowadays like with ah.
[07:50] Keith: Right.
[07:56] Mike: The power of the internet I'm sure you could discover or deduce that your parents know a lot more than you think and maybe look maybe parents are actually talking with their kids I mean so so look when you went and had ah thanksgiving with your girlfriend and her mom did the mom like.
[08:00] Keith: Right.
[08:12] Mike: Which you guys like a good fuck or something like was there. Any is that why you're bringing it up. Was there Some no.
[08:12] Keith: no but no no no I do remember like a couple times who like retire to the bedroom and my girlfriend would close the door and lock it and was like oh ok as I so I see what's happening now.
[08:26] Mike: Could it was the with when she locked it was it audible meaning could the mom have heard the lockup.
[08:32] Keith: I Understand what you're asking. Ah I think it could be and I think she took care to make it not audible. You know you you wriggle the mechanics of the lock just just so to to minimize clicking volume.
[08:48] Mike: But I mean that doesn't like on on some level like that doesn't I mean what's the point of even doing that It's sort of interesting that she's like being demure in that way. But I mean like the flip side is like okay if your mom doesn't I think I think I would lock it as loud as possible because what's she doing. She's creating a risk where the mom comes up and like tries to open the door and is like what's going on here.
[09:00] Keith: Um, ah.
[09:07] Keith: Yeah, you want a subtle clue. Yeah I understand what you're saying.
[09:08] Mike: Ah, you know is everything okay in there. Yeah, exactly like the door lock I think the clicking of the lock is actually yeah so I I think you should you should tell her to to switch that up I think I think the mom would like to know that the lock happened and should be like okay they're they're in their banging I mean you know the mom has a daughter. She's obviously had sex.
[09:17] Keith: Ah.
[09:24] Keith: Rights right? right? Yeah, she's not a virgin must have had sex at least once actually she has some siblings So some some non-zero number of times. Um, ok, let's move on to. Ah.
[09:27] Mike: So yeah, she knows then yes.
[09:34] Mike: There you go no.
[09:40] Keith: This porn that you sent me. Um, so Pornhub link. Do you want to introduce it at all.
[09:46] Mike: Yeah, so this the link will be in the show notes as always and I encourage people to follow along. We can narrate a bit of it. We're starting at nineteen minutes into it's a 24 minute and sixteen second long clip. Wow ah, that's it that it's actually you know if if you're gonna show an entire session. Maybe that's the right.
[09:58] Keith: 2
[10:06] Mike: Duration sometimes these clips are you know 2 hours which is so little some chafing there.
[10:08] Keith: Yeah, for professional porn I've noticed that the the general clip length is somewhere between like eighteen and twenty five minutes I think maybe they've done some maybe testing and that's the the length that most people prefer.
[10:24] Mike: Yeah, although I mean people are going to skip around and so forth so people are going to treat it as.
[10:27] Keith: Yeah, but I think that's part of it I think that's part of it like they know that people are going to skip around and this is the this is the length that checks the most boxes for the most amount of people.
[10:38] Mike: You know you know I used to work long ago I worked for a company that this would be before ah before like Universal wifi and I devices and all that you know ipads and whatever I worked for a company that did ah video on demand briefly I worked for a company that did video on demand in hotel rooms.
[10:48] Keith: Yep, and.
[10:57] Mike: And ah, you know so right? It's an interesting company right? because wait right? I mean like well you you start working there and you're like oh this is you know and all they talk about is how like they get the latest releases. It's like you know the new Disney movie came out and we have that and and then like you.
[10:58] Keith: Ah, so par not demand.
[11:10] Keith: Um.
[11:13] Mike: Find out that there's this dude I don't remember his name but there was this dude who would go in this back room and he got to like edit the non-theatrical content was what they called it that was the term of art and ah come to find out they'll like actually like you know. And yeah, another somewhat interesting economic thing. There is like.
[11:19] Keith: Ah, you right.
[11:31] Mike: You know they had to pay a lot to show the newest release right in in in the hotel room I mean they had to pay the movie studio but the adult movies they would just buy them so they didn't have to pay anything. They would actually buy them and in fact, this dude who like to go in the back room and edit them I think ultimately started commissioning them. He became a porn producer for this company and they would produce different.
[11:32] Keith: Um, reason mental.
[11:41] Keith: I'd say.
[11:51] Mike: Ah, like gpg. Well there's no g porn but like say pg 13 where like they don't see any. It's just like people banging their pelviss together but they would produce different levels of them and actually what's interesting is they would start with a hardcore porn right? full on like they're showing everything and they would back off of that. So that meant that they were actually having sex in the porn. It wasn't fake.
[11:53] Keith: Yes, right.
[12:11] Mike: Because they would see if that makes sense right? They would start off with me Triple X rated and then and then he would back it off to double X Single X and they had to do this because certain hotel chains like don't want ah hardcore Anyway, So yeah, they had a computer system that would sort of like monitor what was going on.
[12:11] Keith: Huh Yeah, no, it does.
[12:19] Keith: Have a puritanical whatever. Yeah.
[12:29] Mike: You know manage this system and send data back to the central computer system for the company and ah, that's part of that they were able to see we could see the data about the mean length of time that these porns were watched and the mean length of time was something like 3 to four Minutes.
[12:42] Keith: Ah, aha. Wow.
[12:49] Mike: These dudes these dudes would get and and keep in mind you had to pay like 8 dollars or something to watch 1 of these movies they would put it on and then they would just immediately nut which I thought was I thought that was surprising and also I'm not sure I think you yeah and also like the fast forward and rewind capability. It was digital. It wasn't like.
[12:58] Keith: Um, that's it is a little surprising.
[13:08] Mike: Vhs tapes or something it was a digital system but like the the the ability to sort of pan around the you know go to different scenes and stuff was not great and so these guys had to be pretty expert like maybe they had 1 they liked so I'm not sure anyway.
[13:20] Keith: Maybe yeah I Wonder if if you stay at a certain hotel chain if you get acclimated to the to the library. But yeah I don't like using the same porn many times actually anything more than once.
[13:28] Mike: Maybe but.
[13:33] Mike: Yeah, and you think it would take you like a couple minutes just to get oriented so looking back. It's kind of it was always kind of a joke that was so short. But now I think about it I'm like well how did they get their nut out so fast if they must have just really had to go or maybe I not slower than other people.
[13:37] Keith: Yeah.
[13:46] Keith: Um, yeah I don't think so 3 I mean you maybe you're misremembering the number could have it been like 7 or eight minutes it was surprisingly small.
[13:53] Mike: No, no, no, it was for sure like it was it would not. It wasn't more yeah and it was not more than 5 It was very low. Yeah.
[14:01] Keith: So 2 2 2 follow up comments to this. The first is I didn't save it but there was ah there was a thread on the sex subreddit this week about somebody wearing a fitbit or 1 of these step counting things and tracking his masturbation sessions.
[14:18] Mike: Wait What? so he would he would have it on I mean because I actually take my watch off because I don't want it to track and steps and we you and I have a long running debate over whether it does actually count them as steps and we don't have to retread that we're ah nice.
[14:19] Keith: And he.
[14:23] Keith: Yes, yes, me too.
[14:30] Keith: Yeah I now think it does I now I now think it does. Ah.
[14:37] Mike: So I take it off because I don't want that? Um, but okay, so so he but he wants it. He's specifically trying to see how many strokes he puts in how many.
[14:43] Keith: Yeah, and he was commenting about I don't remember what he said his average but like his normal was something in the upper hundreds like 8 hundred nine hundred and he said that he'd done up to like 252500 is I've done I think I've cleared a thousand but it was basically. I was trying to um, like I was yes I have looked at the data. Yes.
[15:02] Mike: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. You also do this.
[15:10] Mike: So explain me how this works you have your step counter so you not only have you acknowledge. Are you now acknowledging that the step counter counts this stuff but you but you you're you're using this data as part of your play.
[15:22] Keith: Well no, it's not it doesn't arouse me like oh man here here comes four digits. No, it's just I'll I'll make note of the number of steps before sometimes out a spreadsheet and then I will make note after and.
[15:34] Mike: That.
[15:42] Keith: Ah, you know it's just interesting to know.
[15:43] Mike: Does your does your watch think that you're running.
[15:49] Keith: My watch I have a garmin watch and it does not do activity detection like the Apple watch does I think the Apple watch will tell you hey are you now running right? It'll it'll guess what you're doing based on the heuristics in the in the accelerometer data.
[15:52] Mike: Are. Okay, but like it. Yes, yes, and I do have the Apple watch because I'm ah I'm high end I'm trying to impress Allie. But ah, the so the the um ah so but okay, but it does track your cadence right? So ordinarily with a run it with a run or a walker.
[16:09] Keith: Right? right? right? right? right.
[16:20] Mike: Cadence is like a left you know left right? left right? Like how how long does it How many left rights. Do you do per minute So how many what is an updown is probably a stride. So do you know? do you know what? your cadence is.
[16:28] Keith: I think so yes I don't because in order to report cadence you have to start an event and activity and I have not done that because first first off it'll automatically upload to strava.
[16:41] Mike: Got it.
[16:46] Keith: Probably before I could stop it and sure I'm sure I could go in and delete it. But if anybody saw it that man saw it. They'd be like oh yeah I see what happened here. So.
[16:49] Mike: You're just in your apartment and you ah.
[16:57] Mike: Shift.
[17:00] Keith: So you have to be very careful to turn off the Auto upload future if I if I ever do want to try to get a cadence reading.
[17:04] Mike: Okay, but you have noticed and how many and you said you you typically get a thousand steps.
[17:09] Keith: I don't know if it's typical I've gotten over 1000 a few times and I don't and I haven't done this enough times to have a feeling for what's normal or what's abnormal or what's outrageous.
[17:23] Mike: I'm guessing maybe a typical would be 30 strokes per minute maybe Fifty. Yeah, okay so if you spent so this thing.
[17:26] Keith: Oh cadence wise yeah it depends if it counts it depends if it counts an updown is 1 or 2 But yeah.
[17:36] Mike: We can sort of I mean if it's say 30 to fifty and you spend fifteen minutes but yeah these numbers sound plausible I mean you maybe twenty minutes would get you up over 1000 I mean it's not actually exercise. But yeah.
[17:46] Keith: Yeah, it. Yeah yeah, that seems a little bit long. Maybe it counts them as 2 strokes. Maybe it counts? Yeah, but like it's not like I'm there so furiously stroking the whole time right? like there's some some pauses.
[17:54] Mike: Twenty minutes.
[18:03] Mike: Right for sure for sure. What? So what? you you were bringing this up because there was a comment on and we will get to the porn folks but like here. So what? the ah that there was there was a comment on this X sub of a guy who was purposely doing this because what he just loves data.
[18:17] Keith: Yeah, he reported some stuff about it I'll find it we can we can discuss it next week but no the reason why I brought it up was this notion that people are spending 3 to four minutes watching a porn seems a little low.
[18:29] Mike: Ra Okay, okay, and this guy has some data to back that up. Although I mean it's you know it's going to be individualized and maybe traveling salesmen probably salesman get off fast. But.
[18:35] Keith: Of course, of course of course and there's various things going on people are in a hurry right? like there are times when I'm masturbating for pleasure and times when I masturbate for need and I'm sure the average time there is different.
[18:46] Mike: Sure yeah I mean what you yeah you wonder sort of like how that works did you? You said you had a sep second thing to bring up or do you want to go straight into the porn here. Okay go ahead. Yeah.
[18:51] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the the second yeah, that's right, yeah, this a log lead into our our porn viewing segment. But yeah, um I had a friend who worked at a hotel and he was telling me that as the internet became more and more popular. It really started hurting hotels revenue because most traveling salesmen which is the bulk of the of the book of business for a lot of hotels masturbate most nights and you know they'll they'll spend the Eight Ninety nine or so sometimes it was even more than that to to rent to porn video and with the internet they're no longer getting that revenue and so. For a while hotels used to charge for internet. They would charge a lot for internet as as a way to make up that that revenue but now that it's been sort of normalized that hotels don't charge for wi-fi anymore. They've lost that revenue stream.
[19:41] Mike: That's right? And yeah, ultimately, that's exactly the pattern that happened I was not at the company when this happened. But yeah I mean they switched to trying to charge for wi-fi but then of course once people have are able to tether to a phone.. There's really no point to doing that and and the hotels didn't want to encumber people with a feed generally. And so then the company I think ultimately a bond went bankrupt or something I mean it just wasn't a good business Anymore. So.
[20:03] Keith: Right? Yeah like a blockbuster when Netflix came out the porn companies delivering to hotels were shit out of luck.
[20:15] Mike: That's right? Okay, so we're we're at this with this pon. We've got the link in the show notes people can come and follow along. We encourage that we're nineteen minutes are you are you at the nineteen minute point key. Okay, we're gonna we're gonna probably do thirty second yeah so
[20:24] Keith: I'm ready I ah I see the screen shot here. So I think I already know why this is remarkable but okay I'll I'll count down the start all right I'm going to start in 3 to 1 starting.
[20:32] Mike: Okay. All right? So we have ah 2 lesbians well they purportedly lesbians 1 has a vibrator up her butt and the other 1 is holding the vibrator with her mouth and sort of making it go in and out of her Butt. It's her butt by the way I know that from ah the title and my analysis.
[20:40] Keith: Bright.
[20:49] Keith: Yes, I was initially unclear but it is It is her butt yet.
[20:55] Mike: And the other 1 is acting all pleased by it. It's obviously for men's pleasure. There are things that make that obvious like the fact that the woman who's manipulating the vibrator has her boobs kind of coming out of her bra and rubbing against the butt of the recipient and now she's taken it in her hand and she's sort of it's by the way it's a it's' ah I guess the vibrator slash stillldo. It's got lots of bumps on it. It's.
[21:05] Keith: Right.
[21:12] Keith: This is.
[21:15] Mike: So there's some texture to it. Kind of not lots of bumps fewer bumps but kind of larger right? So you can imagine a set of golf balls Golf balls nailed together sort of and now it's just sort of continuing that way and this is how this entire porn goes. We can stop now. Yeah, let's pause it. Um.
[21:18] Keith: 3 to four. Yes.
[21:27] Keith: This goes for this goes on for another five minutes okay
[21:34] Mike: So yeah, the yeah I mean you can people can look around on this 1 But basically I thought this is interesting because it's um, it's a farcical trope in some ways for me like ah well I'd be interested to hear from any lesbians listening who like anal with dildos but it just doesn't seem plausible to me.
[21:52] Keith: Ah.
[21:54] Mike: Like that that that that like it seems like the least I mean I assume this is made for men. Although oh I should say this interestingly I got this from 1 of these subreddits that I peruse that's destined or aimed at women into women.
[22:05] Keith: Yeah I was wondering about that The the production value here looks like 1 of the porns that same for women like everything is extremely clean. The the camera angle and the the camera shot feels less I don't know in your face that some. Male Orientiented Porn is so yeah I was wondering if this was female oriented porn.
[22:27] Mike: It is and so yeah, that makes me wonder and actually the people the comment thread where the person posted it focused on the anal element and so yeah I don't know I mean that's ah I don't know I never fully understand what's going on there.
[22:43] Keith: Okay, well all right? and so let's let's ah, let's unpack a couple things here unlike this woman's asshole that is correct that is correct I feel like.
[22:49] Mike: You still have never had anal with someone right? You mean you're you're close. You're close though right.
[22:59] Keith: Um, if I were a betting man. It is it is probable to happen in the next month
[23:05] Mike: What what? what is the I mean why not last month what is happening this month what what changed how did your anal game come up. Oh interesting. So it's just that like.
[23:12] Keith: Nothing if you would have asked me a month ago I would have said the same thing and I would have been wrong.
[23:21] Mike: It's on the menu. You just haven't selected it yet. Interesting Okay, all right? So go on so unpack what you see in this film.
[23:23] Keith: Ordered it yet. That's correct.
[23:28] Keith: Yeah, well. Okay, so lesbian 1 is ah using her her mouth wrapped around the edge. The end of this dildo to insert and pull out. Ah, this anal dildo from from Lesbian to your intuition your intuition that ah most Lesbians would probably not be into ah Dildo anal penetration seems correct to me. Um.
[23:48] Mike: Yeah, the shape of it.
[24:05] Keith: I Guess it's possible that this person is but is there any is there any benefit by having them and so I would guess that she could get more mechanical and inexterous skill using her hand than she could with her mouth. Is there any benefit from the Receiver of the dildoing by having the. The person administering the Dildo used their mouth.
[24:25] Mike: I Can't imagine there would be I think this is purely a a fiction being put perpetrated for for men to enjoy. But I'm not totally sure. Yeah.
[24:28] Keith: For show or women though but maybe women maybe this porn was made for women.
[24:40] Mike: Hard to imagine women getting into like faces being near buttholes like buttholes and faces just doesn't feel feels more male to me. But but yeah, who knows could be it takes all kinds.
[24:48] Keith: Because of the semis because of the implied submission submissiveness of having your face and you're an asshole.
[24:55] Mike: No I mean I'm just talking about the grossness aspect like you were saying it looks female orientiented in the sense that it looks clean and sort of you know, nicer in certain ways and I think to myself. Oh yeah, that that makes some sense like you know similarly I wouldn't think I would want I would think they wouldn't be doing some ass to mal actionction. Like so I mean there. Yeah I look through this enough to know that the Dildo never is removed from the anus and put in either woman's mouth for example so that's not going on.
[25:21] Keith: What is going on when that is actually done in Porn. Do they do something to like do they do something okay have you seen the movie gravity or the or the movie I think it's called birdman where or or the movie nineteen seventeen where like. Everything is done in 1 cut.
[25:42] Mike: I've heard about that I have not seen it's that's I should I should watch that actually it's a good tip.
[25:43] Keith: Um, it's it's ah it's ah it's a popular cinema to graphic cinema to graphic is that the word cinematography technique in over the last I would say 5 years where they they try to make things seem like it's 1 cut. But what's actually happening is maybe they'll go in front of a pillar. And when that pillar goes across the screen. They're actually doing a wipe from 1 cut to the next but to the viewer it just looks like 1 cut does that make sense. Well oh in in all 3 of those movies they do do that they didn't actually film the movie in 1 cut which is kind of.
[26:10] Mike: That does now are you saying they did this in that movie or they didn't they specifically didn't do that. Okay, but.
[26:22] Keith: Annoying. So it's really just a can't It's really just a special effects trick anyway.
[26:27] Mike: Filming filming a movie in 1 cut would be very expensive but go on. Yeah I mean yeah.
[26:28] Keith: I know and not making a mistake like how many takes would have to take there are some movies where the actors actually do long takes and they do some ad living and I think that's really cool Anyway, my question is yeah when you see in porn the standard like asked a mouth or asked a vagina thing. I Think they're actually doing that I don't think they're using fancy cinematography techniques to to simulate it.
[26:49] Mike: I think you're right I think you're right I mean I've seen enough. It's really hard for me to understand. But I've seen enough ah women commenting that they like this on on Reddit I've I've never talked to a woman who's like oh yeah I want that but I've seen enough women being like oh yeah I like that.
[27:08] Keith: As to mouth or asked a vagina.
[27:09] Mike: Doing that that it must be real. Nobody says they like ass to vagina fry because because then people will criticize them. They'll be like oh you're going to get a yeast infect. It's ironic right? But we okay, it's yeah, a U T sure it's it's ironic because you'd think I mean.
[27:18] Keith: You you T I right.
[27:28] Mike: Like if I have to get an infection somewhere like I'm not sure the other the mouth 1 seems worse to me but like that but actually oddly like part of the etiquette on the sex subreddit is that like as to mouth would not be criticized and asked a vagina would vagina ass would not so it's like yeah I can tell you if you give me 2 orifices I can tell you whether it's.
[27:46] Keith: What what? the? what? The what? the woke order is.
[27:48] Mike: Censored or not exactly it's not I don't know if it's woke but it's the it's the yeah there some some analog to that. What what? you're allowed to clear to size.
[27:54] Keith: Yeah, yeah, well anyway yeah I don't I would I mean how are they doing it important. Is there just like rampant Uti is going around everywhere or is the risk of Uti greatly exaggerated or did they do some sort of hygienic thing that is unusual.
[28:08] Mike: I Think it's the latter. It's that and also like I mean in principle they could have some kind of like a female condom. They stick in their butt or wherever that that maybe they can hide well but I think but let's say it's just it's just like it's extreme douching. Yeah.
[28:16] Keith: Yeah, maybe I. Okay, before and after maybe in between cuts.
[28:27] Mike: Well after yeah, like whenever you're going to go back and forth like they just sort of well I know maybe I mean I'm not sure that the man's cock is likely to draw some poop out of the colon or whatever. So once you've done it. You're probably okay for a significant period of time.
[28:38] Keith: Are.
[28:45] Mike: Ah, but it's never going to be perfect I remember I I read 1 comment I I actually but I think I didn't suggest we talk about it on the show because it was too gross but I'll mention it now it was like it was some woman like kind of in some level of specificity talking about the flavor of the guy's cock after I've been in her butt and I was like what like.
[28:52] Keith: Okay, great.
[29:02] Keith: Whoa.
[29:04] Mike: Yeah I mean it was like I mean she was describing the flavor of her own pooh and I was like what but but she didn't perceive it that way. It was like she had some flowery or ornate way to describe it which is not so that's not how I would think about it.
[29:17] Keith: Yeah, yeah, well. Ah thanks for almost not bringing that up.
[29:21] Mike: Yeah, can I I was thinking about something before we get to our our specific topics I was thinking about something this morning that I wanted to get your take on. Is there have you found have you found women in general in your life to have a preference for the position you're in when you not assuming you're having.
[29:25] Keith: Yeah.
[29:39] Keith: No I have not no no that might change if like you know pregnancy was the desired. Ah no I don't know if it would that that they seem to just actually.
[29:41] Mike: I v No no preference at all. They just don't care interesting.
[29:59] Keith: Want me to orgasm generally and how doesn't seem to matter that much. They they want me to choose.
[30:05] Mike: Okay, yeah I was trying to think I was trying to think about like whether it's really hard for me because I'm not female and I was trying to imagine whether like that should or could matter and I was thinking Oh maybe like face to face would be better for them than in the dog or some sort of.
[30:22] Keith: It's more intimate somehow.
[30:25] Mike: I Don't know like it's like I don't know it's like somehow I was I was like thinking about this and I was thinking you know somehow it seems like it would potentially be like like it seems to me that something that could be a turn on for a woman is like oh you know you know if it feels like you're.. It's like it's like being penetrated even more when the guy nuts and I was like oh maybe that penetration feels more present when he's when you're face to face than when it's in others's Positions. So I didn't know if like you'd experienced some specific where a woman like specifically tries to angle to be in that position I Mean. What's the most common nut position for you. Generally I mean if your shoes choosing it.
[31:05] Keith: It depends a little bit on whether condoms are involved and whether or not the person is on birth control. Um, just because.
[31:14] Mike: Why.
[31:24] Keith: It can be.
[31:25] Mike: Are you saying like if you have a condom and if if you're in the if you're in the doggy style position. She can't see whether you've what do they call it stealth her meaning Stealth is a root of the condom.
[31:32] Keith: No I I am I have I have never stealthed anybody. Um no, it's that Okay, sometimes I like to ah come without the Condom. So I might pull the condom off. And no I know I don't orgasm inside of them I Orgasm outside somewhere.
[31:52] Mike: Isn't that what stealthing is keith I mean oh you so wait. Wait wait wait wait wait so you are 1 of these dudes because this I this is not my favorite thing for.
[32:01] Keith: Okay, hold that hold that bad well kid. Can you say what? 1 of these dudes I am I am before I agree to it.
[32:07] Mike: Um, sure short sure. So I mean in porn. It's really common I Always take it to be like that they want to show the nut they want to show the comm shot for some reason and which like I don't is like my preference would be not to see that exactly but but the um.
[32:15] Keith: Yeah.
[32:25] Mike: Yeah, like a really really really common trope that all men listening will know is like they're having sex missionary and then like right at the end he sort of like gets kind of desperate-seeming and pulls his cock out kind of lays it on her lower stomach and just or maybe with his hand. Whatever and and then it shoots out on kind of belly button area for her.
[32:45] Keith: Yeah, that that is something that I have done many times.
[32:45] Mike: Is that a preferred activity for you. So when you when you pull the condom off doesn't isn't there like a lubrication loss then so like how do you and also how do you orchestrate this I mean because you have to remove the condom and then I mean so you're in this sort of desperate final five seconds.
[32:59] Keith: M.
[33:06] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[33:08] Mike: At the very end of sex and you need to remove the condom I'm assuming you're so close to orgasming that the lack of lubrication once you remove the condom is not important and also the the slight rubber odor.
[33:18] Keith: Yeah, look all these things are are great. Points. So First off, it's it's not like I have some flourish and perfect technique like it often gets kind of messy right? like I won't quite do it in time and you know. This seaman sort of gets everywhere the condom will still will like my my the first like rope will be into the condom and then subsequent ones won't be like I don't get the condom often time. Yeah, it's not great man this is why.
[33:36] Mike: Whoa What we may can you I mean this isn't the sounds now you.
[33:50] Mike: Don't get in the condom just a sense terrible. Okay, so but okay, now let's assume you were with. Okay so let's assume you're with a partner and your in the missionary position. The she's on her back. You're in between her legs now you.
[33:55] Keith: That's why men prefer their partners to be on birth control.
[34:07] Mike: You're saying you go to pull out and you're trying to pull the condom off and you start nutting now. First of all, okay, first of all, okay, first of all, if if I'm worried about her getting pregnant the activity that I would be very unlikely to do is to write when I'm about to orgasm get my cock like 3 inches.
[34:12] Keith: It's happened. Yeah.
[34:25] Mike: In front of the face of her vagina and start yanking on the condom and nutting everywhere The or yeah, like because because I would be worried that I was going to like you know, ejaculate onto her vulva and Provoke some kind of risk but it sounds like that's exactly what you do.
[34:26] Keith: The face was the orifice. Yeah.
[34:36] Keith: Right.
[34:42] Mike: You basically are like oh this isn't risky enough I'm gonna I want to pull out like why don't you just come in the condom inside of her.
[34:49] Keith: That would probably boy would that be on average safer.
[34:54] Mike: If it because is it because in the last five seconds you start like going insane mentally and you're like oh I want to put it so it's it's the old dave chappelle like put it in the flower pot thing you're like I got to put it somewhere else I can't just I got to switch locations right? at the end.
[35:03] Keith: Yeah, yeah I I haven't seen that chappele episode. But yeah, it's I.
[35:09] Mike: Oh for our for our for our female listeners particularly Allie since I've given her such successful tips in the past men like men like to be told where to nut and that's what the joke is that the the key of the the nut of the so to speak of the Dave chappelle joke is that like even if a woman told you to like nut in the flower pot. In the corner. He would still find that hot because he because men 1 of men's yeah, 1 of men's deepest desires is for the woman to actually give a shit about his semen which they of course don't but okay, so so that's the joke. But okay, so you so you so you know and and also subtie subtext of the joke is that like.
[35:29] Keith: Like yes, yeah, yes, ma'am.
[35:46] Mike: Yes, toward the end of sex men often are like oh where I'm going to where am I going to put it. It matters a lot to the guy to the girl they're like what are you doing and that's what I was asking about.
[35:50] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean this this notion that like in the moments leading up to Orgasm. You're sort of like temporarily Orgasm blinded and your judgment has a little bit of lapse is not is is probably. Part of what's going on here I think it's less risky than you're imagining though like it's not like like my penis is out in the condom is still On. So Then it's a matter of yeah but I mean look anytime.
[36:11] Mike: Oh I know it's not. It's not but I mean he.
[36:18] Mike: Well, but you but we do know hang on hang on hang on the way you described it was that you have so much trouble sometimes getting the condom off in this situation that you will put like 1 spurt of semen in the condom and the other ones on her stomach is that fair. Okay, well that sounds like a pretty risky situation because it'd be.
[36:30] Keith: Sure yeah.
[36:37] Mike: Say like you you have a you have at least 1 uncontrolled spurt here. You didn't want it to go in the condom. It just did and then.
[36:41] Keith: Yeah, but the condom was out but I mean my penis was outside of her in a way away from Paul's possible away from like possibly I mean look anytime there's seeming out and about there's possible risk.
[36:46] Mike: Sure But like she's still there. Well so the way you make it So. There's no possible risk is that you with withdraw your penis and then you sort of move your body forward so that like it's more toward her belly button and then you pull the condom off okay all right and during this whole procedure. Sometimes you.
[37:01] Keith: Yeah, yes, yes.
[37:10] Mike: Your fur and but but isn't most of the pleasure before the first spurt so that just sounds terrible like why do you do this.
[37:11] Keith: Yeah, yeah. Um, I think this dovetails well into.
[37:19] Mike: You should have me you should have me come watch. No I don't if you could get a get an oculus rift that will pixelate you now I don't want to watch you have sex now. Forget it, forget it. So yeah, there's nothing I can do. But what I get.
[37:28] Keith: Ah, it doesn't have to but doesn't have to be live we could We could edit it in post.
[37:36] Mike: I can't I can't but you could have a woman maybe that I could talk to a woman give her a bunch of information that she can watch be like a referee and be like now do this Keith do this this and you improve I Also want to know by the way you can do have more to say on this topic.
[37:41] Keith: And describe the describe. The weird thing I'm Doing. No, but there's a there's a good, not good, but like a standard redit post here that this is based the same thing. It's like condom versus no condom is condom sex Really that bad for guys and then they sort of go on and and analyze it.
[38:01] Mike: Yes, of course it's bad because you don't have like as much sensation and and for any guy to well this is a woman asking of course. But for any guy like it's this is why like when a guy says the condom ripped and he couldn't tell he's lying because of course he can feel it really well and like yeah, there's like a like.
[38:10] Keith: Right.
[38:20] Mike: With a condom on it can be challenging to actually get there.
[38:21] Keith: Right? Yeah, all right? Let me read that. Let me read the post right? Conover snow condom is condom sex really that bad for guys I remember reading a post on here about a gal whose boyfriend didn't want to use a condom because he couldn't feel it like literally being petty as fuck. Had a similar experience with him going so far as to say condom sex is pointless the whole point of using condoms is to prevent sdis don't companies sell super thin condoms for the purpose of making it feel better anyway, why fight against it so hard I understand there are some kinks but this is excluding that what I'm trying to say is are some guys being overly dramatic when they say they can't feel it. Even if they weren't being dramatic aren't they worried about contracting something I know when you've reached a certain point in a romantic or even a purely sexual relationship. You may want to abandon condoms but one night stands so ah yeah I mean I think I can turn her logic back around on herself which is look men. Don't want babies running around generally. Especially young immature men and so that they are so cavalier about condoms implies something about how inferior the experience is now that doesn't justify the behavior of not using a condom and and so on and so forth. But yeah, her logic. Sort of is it's just sort of gives her the answer. She's looking for.
[39:33] Mike: I don't I don't think it's just I don't think it's just I think your viewpoint there is more mature than the typical say like 18 year old man boy logic. Um I think I think that I think if you sat down.
[39:42] Keith: You don't think they're recognizing the downside or properly properly valuing the downside.
[39:51] Mike: Think if you sat down with an 18 year old and said like what are the risks here have you considered them. He'd say he would be able to give you chapter and verse they're all pretty knowledgeable. They've they've spent a lot of time with their semen. They know that it can go into a vag and so forth, but like the the problem is that like when a guy gets horny. It's so the point being it's not that he's like oh. I want to have a 2 point better orgasm here or I want to have more sensation on my shaft. It's not that it's just like when he gets horny like his ability to assess the risk the relative risk of behaviors goes down a lot and so then I'm just I'm just basically offering an alternative explanation besides like the sensation for why a guy would.
[40:22] Keith: Bright.
[40:30] Keith: Yeah, they're they're blinded by. They're blinded by Arousal and they're not properly evaluating the risk.
[40:30] Mike: Cavalier about condom use. It's like he yeah, he's just like yeah and it's like yeah and it's like why? Why is it hotter to go bear back because ah, you're um. First of all, it does feel better, but secondly, it's like because the guy wants to like he wants to you know do the most penetrative thing he can right? It's like he wants to like like impose himself on the woman and it's like yeah I mean like putting your yeah like so.
[40:52] Keith: Yeah, bright.
[41:01] Mike: Going up to the line as close as you can like sort of does that? Yeah, but yeah I mean like yeah.
[41:02] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean a couple of the comments here were really good. Ah, 1 of them was sex with a condom is much much better than no sex and sex without a condom is much much better than sex with a condom and he says. Both are significantly large jumps and yeah I think that's that's right like if you tell your boyfriend that you won't have sex with him unless he uses a condom. He'll use a condom in in the general case because it's much better than not having sex at all. But yeah I mean men prefer.
[41:35] Mike: That's right? Yeah yeah I mean I think by the way I think this sort of blindness about or sort of like not thinking through the consequences happens to women as well like they can get really really horny and make stupid decisions pretty easily. Um.
[41:37] Keith: Sex without a condom greatly to sex with a condom.
[41:46] Keith: Oh yeah I think so too I mean you can eat. Someone's asshole right? like people make really bad decisions.
[41:51] Mike: Yeah, so keith ah when you're 1 other question about this behavior you have because I don't fully understand it now I just want to under there's there's a couple more things I want to understand here. Do you? You only do you only do this behavior of the pullout condom removal.
[41:57] Keith: Ah, okay, okay, if it can be okay, fine. Go ahead. Yes, it's yes.
[42:11] Mike: Do you ever? Do you ever pull out and then just so you're pulling out your are you having to Jack yourself off or do you just literally pull out and then and you just like it's like you're just you just like look look at me, you're like you could imagine like just putting your arms up like Superman or something and you're just nutting or do you stroke yourself which which is happening.
[42:27] Keith: There's a couple different possibilities here. 1 is weird 1 is when you're stroking yourself.
[42:29] Mike: Do the more interesting 1 What's the crazier. What's the weirder 1 I look I know I know the standard the standard 1 is your base now that's the normal 1 What's oh she strokes you is that where you're gonna die.
[42:39] Keith: Oh well that's happened a non-zero number of times but it's not look There's there's a number of different things 1 you can be close enough that you don't really need further simulation. Although it's not a great orgasm another is you can ah sort of. Pin your penis between her stomach and your body and get a little bit of friction that way it look mike I don't like the mess either like it's not great. This white men prefer their partners to be on birth control and can just fire and forget.
[43:00] Mike: Oh That's but I thought you didn't You're the 1 that puts the paper towels on the desk then it's getting all over your stomach. Why do you? will we wait. Okay, but are you doing that for safety reasons. Okay, okay, the 2 So What I'm imagining here. Is you you have a condom on wait is this without a condom.. How do you? Even do that. So A so wait. Let me understand this is the is the situation The following. This is not believable to me but I'll just go through it.
[43:18] Keith: Doing what's that. What's the what's the pronoun.
[43:35] Mike: You have your condom covered penis in her vagina her legs are sort of spread. You're fucking her. You're getting close you pull out. You remove the condom you lay your penis on her pelvis you then lean over to trap you the cock between your body and hers and you thrust a few more times and nut is that what you're.
[43:39] Keith: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[43:51] Keith: Yeah, this this can all happen in like like the the gap between each 1 of those steps is measured in like hundreds of milliseconds like this this happens quickly and this is why.
[43:53] Mike: Doing.
[43:59] Mike: But what? what? Okay I've never done that I've never done this in my life. This is this is to me is otherworldly. Go go on what I don't get it Why Why do you do that? Why not just not in her with the condom on.
[44:07] Keith: I Mean that's what happens it's not. It's not the greatest orgasm.
[44:15] Keith: I Think that would probably be better generally I don't know. Ah.
[44:20] Mike: So why do you do that because you're having some weird thing going on in your brain. You're just like oh I'm going to do the weird thing today I'm gonna do to I don't get okay and you but you always pull the condom off you never.
[44:31] Keith: Yeah, yeah, it's not. Now Sometimes I do yeah sure. Yeah, sometimes I do.
[44:37] Mike: Pull out leave the condom on and finish in this way so that the nut is contained I don't I think you should I don't think that any women want you to do the thing you're describing there I think that's always I think they would rather you not in the condom in their vagina. Always what do you think about that.
[44:54] Keith: I Don't know if that's true I don't think that's true I think some women prefer some sort of display.
[45:04] Mike: I don't think so I don't think so okay you should you should check. You should do some checking on this now like I have 1 of the questions so know.
[45:09] Keith: Point well okay, hold on hold on hold on. Do you think it is the case that 1 hundred percent of women. Never want to facial a facial being a man coming on her face. Okay, but like ninety and ninety x percent or whatever.
[45:16] Mike: No because 100 percent is too complicated but like it's like more than ninety five percent yeah yeah Yeah it's really, it's an uncommon. It's common for guys to want to give them because they watch a lot of porn. It's uncommon for the woman to be like oh yeah I totally want that because it's just annoying and like they not. They're not.
[45:35] Keith: Do you think there's a material difference between the mount of women who would like to have their face come on versus their chest.
[45:35] Mike: Most women are not interested in semen.
[45:43] Mike: Yeah I think chest is better but again, that's not. It's not not there for ever to either.
[45:47] Keith: But they would still prefer. They would still prefer like the the average with not the average the overwhelming majority of women would prefer you to not in a condom inside of them than on their chest given those 2 options.
[45:57] Mike: Yeah, and I'll tell you why I think that this relates to that question I asked earlier because of where I was thinking about maybe this is what triggered this actually about what? ah where if women have a preference for where you not or what position you're in I think that like I was thinking about this and it makes sense to me that you could fetishize.
[46:10] Keith: Um.
[46:17] Mike: Like the guy I mean I guess it's hip fetishizing him impregnating. You is what it comes down to it's like he's driving as deep as he can and and sort of like releasing inside of you like it's like yeah I mean it's like it's like imagine being given a shot your your Covid shot right? somebody sticks this thing in you and injects it in right I don't fetishize that like I.
[46:26] Keith: Um.
[46:37] Mike: I could imagine it I guess I don't But yeah, like the same kind of idea. It's like somebody penetrating you and then like I it's like something out of an animmate anime porn like they're releasing their their thing inside of you. It's like you know your own you're possessing me right? You're you know, like ah like in ah a monster movie or a you know thing where like some.
[46:37] Keith: Ah, sure.
[46:56] Mike: Something like possesses your mind goes in. It's going inside of you and so I think that there's like a lot of a lot of fetish potential there and when you pull out a nut on their stomach. It's like yeah so I don't I think that the vast majority of women given the choice would I think in their mouth is compelling to a lot of women. But I think that in their vagina.
[46:57] Keith: Um, yeah.
[47:04] Keith: You're removing all of those various more standard. Yeah.
[47:13] Keith: Okay, let me ask the question in a different way. Let's say that you were having partnered sex with the same person 50 times. Do you think they would prefer that all fifty orgasms be in the condom inside of them or like 2 out of the Fifty to be slightly different and in some way.
[47:16] Mike: Is like yeah.
[47:29] Mike: I Think that in the mouth is interesting in a different way the way that I intellectualize this is that they're like experiencing your orgasm like so to the extent that women are interested in like giving the guy pleasure. It's like you're feeling his penis contract. You're feeling the nut come out in.
[47:39] Keith: Um, yeah.
[47:45] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[47:47] Mike: Your mouth is much more sensitive than in that way than your vagina. Okay, so there's some tactiles so that makes sense to me but like the thing you're describing like I think that most women will find that repellent. They'd be like ah like why are you doing it the coming on the the boobs like is okay I guess ah they can maybe watch you better while you're doing it. There could be some fetishizing there. And the face. Not so great, but the thing you're describing is I think actually like the worst I wanted to see this is the other thing I wanted to ask is like do you do this behavior ever when in the doggy style position like do you pull out a nut on their butt cheek.
[48:17] Keith: I Mean yeah, but now I'm now I'm questioning everything. It's not look I think yeah, but.
[48:24] Mike: Um, this is your ah your brother inlaw your brother must listen to this 1 He's he's he's grieving you again. Keith.
[48:30] Keith: The figure is it's not like it's not like it it. It's the the vast minority of my orgasms when condoms are involved are outside of the condom outside of the body like the the majority are all inside the condom inside.
[48:49] Mike: Yeah, okay.
[48:49] Keith: Of her so this is like a you know like a rare ending. It's not like it's not every time is what I'm saying or even most times. Yeah.
[48:55] Mike: Okay, I mean yeah I just I don't it actually feels like you're making some it feels like a mistake. It's like she be like why? Why did why have you done this all right? Well yeah yeah, you you should check in with people.
[49:08] Keith: Okay, well next time we have a female next next time we have a woman on we can interrogate them at length about this.
[49:12] Mike: Yeah I Just really think there's something to fetishize there for the woman I was thinking about that this morning and I was like yeah like it's hard for a guy because it's like you don't We don't have this drive to have something jammed into us but it just makes sense to me like it's sort of hot right? It's like oh I kind of understand why you'd like that anyway.
[49:22] Keith: Right. Um, yeah.
[49:29] Mike: And also that made me think actually I was thinking in terms of like the missionary being preferable to other positions because it's like it feels more intimate and more like I don't know like he's more present doing this thing to you but your yeah your example makes it even clearer. Okay.
[49:38] Keith: Yeah, yeah, okay, all right I had another topic here that wraps up something we mentioned on our last episode I don't think we'll talk about this song. But. This this girl is so young I almost feel like heartbroken for her for her naiveties. She says how much do guys actually care about what a girl's vagina looks like I 17 year old female have always been self-conscious about the way my vagina looks when I look at myself in the mirror I can see my inner labia kind of poking out a little bit like if I'm standing straight up. They are visible a little bit. Sometimes try and tuck them in but they come back out is this going to be a turn this is going to be a turnoff for guys I hear guys laughing about beef curtains and it makes me a little nervous. Um and she goes on. Yeah, it's mostly just the guys I hang out with I don't even know if I even have beef curtains like I don't know at what point they're considered big Beef. Don't seem abnormally big but they're not completely hidden inside my outer lab. Yes, she's really agonizing over this she she responds to like 30 of the responses on this like she's really.
[50:33] Mike: Jesus of.
[50:46] Mike: That just makes me think it's a guy but go on. Yeah.
[50:46] Keith: This is really bothering her but it could be I liked the idea of her like assiduously tucking them. You know then tried to make it look like she doesn't have any inner labia exposed labia.
[50:57] Mike: I mean I mean the truth is it is the truth is is it is um, not attractive like that's the truth I mean it's not like yeah we just yes this last week it's not but like as if a guy is just looking purely for aesthetics like yeah, the thing that guys look for women will women particularly like if they want to.
[51:04] Keith: I know I know.
[51:16] Mike: Kind of demonize men will say oh men want a woman to look like a little girl that's not right, but they do because because men like boobs I mean men like fully grown people. They like big butts and stuff but like they want the woman's body to be sort of smooth or something like like ah yeah, like ah not having pertu protuberances and the reason.
[51:24] Keith: Right? yeah.
[51:35] Mike: I Just think it's gendering like our yeah men when we look in the mirror like yeah, there's all this action going on down there and so we get like obsessed with the fact that there's no action and so if you have a little teeny bit of action. It's not bad, but it's like not as good as no action. That's all.
[51:46] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean the responses on this were predictable. Every single person said that nobody cares I think you're right men do care. We talked about this last episode they do care. They don't care that much. Um, and yeah, look the obvious caveat here and somebody wrote this like look. If someone is nasty or says something derogatory about your vagina stop full stop and kick his idiot butt out because he isn't worth the time. The giant has come in all shapes and sizes and all sorts of different configurations. Don't be ashamed. It's like circumcised or not. They're all different types by the way some some men have strong preferences about circumcision by the way.
[52:13] Mike: Well I don't okay, hang on hang. Okay, that's that's pretty bad advice also because it's like look you know if you if you have some guy you're dating and he's really great in all these ways but he's great. He's great in a bunch of way. No no like he could be older and now he's really great in a bunch of ways but like he.
[52:22] Keith: Eighteen say. Ah.
[52:32] Mike: He says this thing that he thinks is funny because it's like locker room humor or something and you are offended by it like kicking him like like it sort of gives you some insight into like the relationship experiences of the people telling them immediately reject someone. It's like look yeah how someone comments on your labia is also not the most important thing in your life. And yeah I mean like. Yeah, if it's a pattern if it fits a pattern sure but like ah yeah, people Yeah people say things not realizing like how they'll be taken and so you know maybe maybe talk about it before you kick them out.
[53:01] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean yeah people Knee Jerk telling everyone they should immediately break up with anyone that ever says anything mildly offensive and that's probably a little bit extreme. Ah okay, here's another topic.
[53:13] Mike: Um, yeah, um.
[53:18] Keith: Ah, how do you eat vagina when she is super wet Hi I'm really new to sex and I haven't eaten out my girlfriend yet. However, when we have sex I see that her vagina is all wet and lubricated and I'm like how am I supposed to eat that is this normal I Really want to go down on her but Vagina is really wet when we have sex.
[53:24] Mike: Um, and.
[53:36] Keith: Any tips or tricks before it's too late when I gag Frowny face appreciate. Everyone's help Prayer Emboji is this normal. Yeah I think that. Ah, if you are worried about how wet the vagina is that is a sign that you are not.
[53:43] Mike: Yeah, this person is gay.
[53:56] Keith: Into the Vagina now look some people are gross. Some straight men are grossed out by going down on women just as many slash most women are grossed out by going down on men. We don't We don't have to litigate that right now but there are there are some men that don't want to go down on women and.
[54:06] Mike: No, no, no, no wrong.
[54:16] Keith: Ah, but yeah, this person seems basically repulsed by his girlfriend's vagina.
[54:21] Mike: Yeah I mean that's it's well I think it just comes down to this thing of like it's like why would you find this thing attractive and it's like well yeah I mean it's not like if you put it on.
[54:28] Keith: It is. It's super organic and weird and and absent arousal kind of gross. But yeah I mean arousal of papers over all of that and makes it extremely ah compelling. That's my second time using this word.
[54:34] Mike: Yes, right? Yeah and it also goes the other way women women find the male organ compelling if they're aroused as Well. It's just women are less likely to be aroused and also it's not like. Yeah, men can be aroused just by the organ in a way that women sort of aren't um yeah so yeah, he did like guy right? It isn't He's right. It is kind of gross and you should think about Maybe he should try the other gender or or buttholes he could write buttholes. Both people both genders have that they're dry.
[55:10] Keith: Um I don't understand I don't just don't understand why people I Guess yeah, they're their their Disgust suppression exceeds mine I Think that's but yeah, just.
[55:13] Mike: Usually.
[55:24] Mike: The butthole looking king here you? well this is why even yeah, you're saying that you have a ticket to browntown destination this month I guess december
[55:28] Keith: Butt played generally.
[55:39] Keith: Listen.
[55:41] Mike: Ah, but ah, you know will will you punch that ticket maybe not because you're worried about the poop the poop situation.
[55:45] Keith: We'll see you could you could take you can take side bets. Okay, we have time for 1 more topic. Um, here's 1 Yeah, we need something kind of short. Okay, here's 1 Yeah, what can women do while they are on the bottom I'm looking for tips. Of What I can do to make sex more enjoyable for my boyfriend while he's on top and I'm bottom but this is actually a good question I have I have some responses for this person but I can imagine as a young woman without much experience having some confusion about what they're supposed to do while they're down. There.
[56:18] Mike: Yeah, what do you? What do you recommend? They do q.
[56:20] Keith: Right? Um, seeing a sip of water here. Well so the first comment here is actually pretty good I think they can summarize better than I can this person says push against the headboard with arms. So the guy can pound. That's a good 1 um grind which I think means use your hips to sort of um, get more up in there wrap legs around partners waist to keep them in or give them more pressure. That's good lift legs up lift legs and spread them wide and he says um, that's all I got. And think those are all good. Ah, what's the word nuggets of advice.
[57:05] Mike: I think I'm like that you remember that at Amy Schumer who nobody likes but I guess the beginning of her career. She was funny I didn't wasn't aware of that part of her career but the um she made that she made that ah that funny. No that she had but she had a funny bit about um, ah.
[57:13] Keith: Yeah.
[57:24] Keith: Yeah, it's point of view porn for women.
[57:25] Mike: Porn for women you know and and you you remember that and it's basically a porn where it's like part of the porn is like the woman's face is just being like yeah face is just going in and out to a pillow and like the guy but but the part that like I sort of.. It's not exactly like that. But I mean there's a part where basically like the the woman wants to like caress him and he think bats her hand away. Ah that like some of the things that were described here already like the legs around him part I don't I'm not see it makes it so makes it So as a guy you can't.
[57:43] Keith: Ah, right right.
[57:56] Mike: She's taking away off this kind of like that. Oh oh my God that's terrible.
[57:57] Keith: Right? It well not only that she's displaying like intimacy. Um, but you can imagine somebody who was in a monster like you liking having so you know they can put their their their legs around you and like sort of put their um. I guess it's their that their heels on the small of your back and then use that to pull you into them and that sort of demonstration of desire is kind of cool.
[58:27] Mike: Yeah I can I can yes that's true I Guess um.
[58:31] Keith: I Mean the other modulo the other things that you dislike which is like taking options removing your agency and so on and so forth.
[58:38] Mike: No I think I think here's what I think about that I think that if you if as a guy you're worried about her not wanting you or something feel like that could be compelling more compelling so like for example, the first like couple sexual encounters with someone like maybe it's more compelling is you're like oh yeah, she's she's.
[58:48] Keith: Um, I see what you're saying she's demonstrating desire.
[58:57] Mike: You know exactly and you're not sure you're not like you're not as confident about her but later on in a relationship. It's like less you're like well I'm not worried about that anymore and so then it's like then it's just basically impinging you from doing what you want to do.
[59:01] Keith: Um, right.
[59:13] Mike: The thing I was going to That's totally not on this list that I was going to say is like I think that ah I think well yeah I mean I think some I don't know if dirty talk is the right thing but like some kind of encouragement verbal like yeah, like so that that way because because yeah I mean it's like it's like he.
[59:23] Keith: Um, right.
[59:33] Mike: Yeah, well I would say I was talking to a friend about watching porn in situations where you don't want to make noise. Ah so you're let's say you' just in a situation where there maybe people who could overhear you if you watched Porn watch porn at a high volume while beating off and. We were talking about it because it's like you know because this is all I ever do is talk about watching porn with other dudes so I should just switch teams now. But the um ah yeah, it was. We were talking about the importance of the audio right? and so it's like oh you'd wear headphones or something because it's like actually like I think that for me if a porn has no audio like it. I Almost can't enjoy it I got is that true for you? Yeah yeah, and so there you go like so like in in a lot of I mean you don't want something that's like Porn Star you know porn like fake fake Pro porn.
[01:00:12] Keith: Yeah, yeah, it's weird without audio.
[01:00:22] Keith: No screaming.
[01:00:26] Mike: Or screaming or like ah you know, just saying obviously fake things but like ah you know a woman could get some tips from like more amateur porn or whatever just sort of thinking about it's like yeah I mean like I suspect that as a woman you would find that there are vocalizations you could make that would like speed up his nut considerably. You.
[01:00:44] Keith: Yeah I mean and I think it might vary by the man like you know some moaning might be good for some some gentle encouragement might be good for some some demeaning whatever might be good for some yeah you know, but it probably depends. But there's probably a set of standard things that.
[01:00:45] Mike: Would you agree with that.
[01:00:59] Mike: He went have you ever been demeaned. Have you been demeaned and if so we can yeah.
[01:01:02] Keith: That most men would like I have not but I I know that this genre of porn exists where like the woman you know tells him that he's pathetic and you know this kind of stuff.
[01:01:13] Mike: The only way So as soon as you said that seemed I've never watched such porn I mean interesting I need to look for this up I'll take a note here, but the.
[01:01:20] Keith: Well you know cuckold porn exists right? Where like the bull comes in and like fucks. The guy's wife while he watches I know it's different, but it's the the Venn diagram overlaps a little bit. But yeah, they're different.
[01:01:28] Mike: That's not the same as like actually your fucking a girl and she's basically telling you. You're a loser I've never but like the yeah immediately the way I thought about that was not I Okay so I but I believe there are men who have a fetish and like want to be sissied or whatever while they're doing that.
[01:01:44] Keith: Yeah.
[01:01:46] Mike: But immediately what came to my mind is like oh that could be cool because if she's because she's trying to make fun of you but you're literally penetrating her with your penis.
[01:01:53] Keith: Oh I see yeah she it's it's almost like resistance or something though that and it's It's a little bit. It's not the same but it's similar ish.
[01:01:58] Mike: Something So you're sort of like well.
[01:02:04] Mike: Yeah, you you you? It's like it's like making you feel more powerful because like basically you're getting to do this to somebody who has disdain for you which I could see that being compelling on some Axis I've I've no experience there. But yeah, did they the the sort of sisification thing and I can't yeah I Just don't I think.
[01:02:11] Keith: Right.
[01:02:23] Keith: F and.
[01:02:23] Mike: Yeah I don't think I would enjoy that sort of you just like as itself like I'd have to like permute it into something more compelling. Um any other things. So yeah, so I think I think I actually think for me I think that's like the most important thing that she could do because basically yeah I imagine it as like if she's silent.
[01:02:37] Keith: Some sort of positive oral feedback.
[01:02:41] Mike: Yeah, otherwise it's like a porn without sound and so basically this is like the thing she can provide the soundtrack for the porn and I think she can make a big difference doing that I guess the other things. Yeah I mean like there's not right if you're on the bottom. There's not that much on some level you can do right.
[01:02:46] Keith: Right? right? right? right.
[01:03:00] Mike: You can seem like you're enjoying.
[01:03:02] Keith: Pretend to be lacking it? Yeah I mean you know the comments are are predictable strangely perhaps but I would say be a little selfish work your body hips hands. So it turns you on personally the more my partner is trying to get off the more turned on and 1 it I feel.
[01:03:04] Mike: Sure sure.
[01:03:21] Keith: Somebody else says Kiss him make noises. Enjoy I don't know about kiss him, but it was probably written kiss him is fine but like make noises I think would be something that more men.
[01:03:25] Mike: Well, what's your way. What? what's What's What's what's the problem there for you.
[01:03:41] Keith: But want more.
[01:03:42] Mike: Why is that because it would interrupt his flow.
[01:03:47] Keith: Kissing is look There's there's a time and place for kissing and during sex. It makes it extremely intimate depending on the the nature of the kissing and that can be good for. Some people and some partners but that can be sort of not great if it's not appropriate. So if you're with like a person that ah you know, maybe you're on a one night stand or something with and you know suddenly they want to start kissing that might actually not be great. It depends.
[01:04:23] Mike: For you. You'd be like this is this is too intimate.
[01:04:24] Keith: Depends it depends it depends I can imagine a scenario where I would think it was too intimate.
[01:04:34] Mike: Interesting. Would you stop? you be like I can't do this anymore.
[01:04:38] Keith: Police Please stop trying to make out with me I Hate you.
[01:04:42] Mike: You would ah you'd pull you I know what you would do you would pull your cock out kind of like roughly pull the condom off and then just not all over the place like a sprinkler.
[01:04:50] Keith: Ah, get it it as betty annoying places as possible stain their sheets right? yeah.
[01:04:54] Mike: Right? You like roll over so I can put it in your anus all backle your anus here. She's like I just tried to kiss you Keith Anyway, go on.
[01:05:03] Keith: This this person says violate the geneva convention then a parentheses. It's very common I'm wanted by multiple world governments. That's probably not great advice. It's almost. It's almost a good joke but but it needs like 1 more it needs 1 more thing.
[01:05:10] Mike: I Don't get it. Yeah, so.
[01:05:21] Keith: Like how he's violating the geneva convention or something anyway, all right? We're done here mike ah so that was episode 45 of your mileage may vary. Not sure what compelled you to listen but we appreciate it and we hope to have you back next time.
[01:05:23] Mike: And.
[01:05:32] Mike: Yeah I wanted to thank Keith's brother in law for listening to. Thank you.
[01:05:38] Keith: Ah, we'll see if he makes it to this point. Yeah, if you if you make it you should ah tell me the word Watermelon Okay, hard now we're really done.
[01:05:47] Mike: Verica.