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Episode 5: The future of porn, talking to women in bars, vibrator value to men, thinking of other people during sex.

Team YMMV | 5-16-2018 | 1:07:08

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This episode of YMMV talks about masturbation and the future of porn, how to talk to women, a giantess fetish, using a vibrator on a penis, thinking about other people during sex, dry-humping, and more.

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [0:04] Keith: the site. I'm talking about the site of the tube sites like these videos air still
  • [0:10] Keith: at least somewhat popular, although they're gonna be a little bit grainy by today's standards. It was a woman who could
  • [0:11] Keith: you
  • [0:13] Keith: really like? It was as if
  • [0:15] Mike: she had. She had a impressive Yousaf Agus. This is
  • [0:21] Keith: like, Yeah, this is like a woman who I would say, like maybe 20% of men know who she is and like
  • [0:27] Keith: 0.1% of women know who she is. I think what our name is normally
  • [0:44] Mike: normally that's reserved for like, athletes or whatever. I guess she is an athlete in many ways and is sort of an athletic endeavor.
  • [0:55] Mike: Hello, and welcome to your mileage may vary. Your mileage may vary is a show that takes an overly candid and hopefully entertaining look at topics related to sex.
  • [1:17] Mike: Most of our source material comes from the sex subreddit. We occasionally get into listener e mails, and we plan to host a short interview segments with your listeners in the future. If you're interested in that or if you'd like to contact us about anything, way could be reached at Y M and the pod on Twitter or by email at wine. Mm. IPod at Gmail.
  • [1:23] Mike: I am Keith. My co host is Mike, and we try to avoid being too offensive Put. No promises there.
  • [1:31] Mike: Um, Okay, Mike, I feel like we have an almost too good list of topics today. We have, like, 15 good ones,
  • [1:38] Mike: and I feel like we're barely gonna get to three. Do you think we should try to, like, get through them faster?
  • [1:42] Keith: Yeah, probably. We need to, like, have some sort of time limit.
  • [1:43] Keith: Yeah,
  • [1:52] Mike: maybe we could do a second look at the end. We can't do this. Take us. We were prepared for it. But where we go through, like whatever we haven't done in, like, dedicate two minutes to each of them or something, that could be interesting. Like
  • [1:58] Keith: lightning round of top. I mean, the only problem with that is sometimes they're topics we want to hold over.
  • [2:03] Keith: Does he really deserve a full treatment? But yeah,
  • [2:04] Keith: it's a good point.
  • [2:23] Mike: Yeah, well, anyway, yeah, right. So we'll figure figure that out, But, um okay, so some banter first. So there's an obvious topic here, but I think the wound is too fresh. So save it for next episode. Uh, have you entered the A test for the Reddit redesign?
  • [2:41] Mike: I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, so, red, it is going through, like, this huge redesign and ah, I use incognito mode a lot too, sir. Fred, it, um I know you don't lie if because, like, when I go to weird sub read, it's I don't want it to be in my browser history. Can you give me, like, three examples?
  • [2:53] Mike: Yeah. Yeah, because it's really mild. Like, if I'm if I, uh, masturbating and I'm going to, like various, like, sex. So bread, it's I would probably do it. Or I would stop credits. Do you masturbate to,
  • [2:59] Mike: uh, you know, like the porn bids or the 60 frames per 2nd 1 Or lips that grip like nothing. Nothing crazy.
  • [3:01] Keith: What? 60 frames for a second?
  • [3:07] Mike: It's Ah, porn. That is in 60 f b s. That can't make a difference.
  • [3:10] Mike: It's interesting. I recommend giving it a shot.
  • [3:15] Keith: I'll write that down, huh? Yeah. Ah, listener should check that out to you.
  • [3:16] Keith: I'm the
  • [3:16] Mike: only the only thing
  • [3:25] Keith: that I've heard makes some difference never done it before is Ah, virtual reality. I have read that that seems to amp it up a little.
  • [3:30] Mike: I started looking into that, Um,
  • [3:42] Mike: like, I don't know, like, a year ago or whatever. I got the new, you know, the Google pixel phone. And it came with the V r thing. But the virtual reality porn things like, didn't support my headset or something, so I never actually got to try it.
  • [3:45] Mike: But I'm curious to try.
  • [4:03] Keith: Yeah, there's some videos on YouTube. Ah, of you search for, like, reaction videos to virtual reality porn. And they have women at men, which is a little unrealistic, in my view, but fine. Um, and the men pretty much come out of the experience going. Yeah, that's this is the future.
  • [4:07] Keith: Um and yeah, they're able to sort of look around and see what's going on
  • [4:08] Mike: in the on the other side. I think I
  • [4:15] Keith: saw a video that showed them, actually, how they film it. And that's obviously a little bizarre, like, I think, the ultimate
  • [4:18] Mike: Oh, because it the apparatus is like, bigger than a normal camera. It's
  • [4:25] Keith: preposterous. Yeah. I mean, like, he barely fits between the two people or whatever is going on. I mean, it's just look, porn is already
  • [4:28] Keith: kind of if you actually see it, being shot is already kind of insane
  • [4:43] Mike: with some of this. Some of this, like point of view porn and, like happy. But where is the camera? And ah, I don't know if is it often the person doing the sex having holding the camera? Or is there 1/3 person holding the camera? I don't
  • [4:52] Keith: honestly know. I mean nowadays, their software to sort of steady the video. So it's entirely possible they just have hold a phone or something and then, you know, use the software to sort of fix
  • [4:58] Mike: it. Yeah, might not be a wide enough of an angle, but yeah, that's interesting point, and it's not.
  • [5:08] Keith: Also, also, I would imagine I know this from my extensive viewing of Maur amateur content that, like people, tend to have a problem with sort of aiming the camera at the right place.
  • [5:09] Keith: Um,
  • [5:09] Keith: I also
  • [5:16] Mike: e retrospect. It's like showing too much of the stomach or the legs and not enough of what you want to say
  • [5:21] Keith: or let's say like you're getting really into what you're doing. Like you might just sort of not pay attention to work.
  • [5:22] Mike: I mean,
  • [5:27] Mike: you have to decide or whatever. Yeah, I've totally seen that happen.
  • [5:27] Mike: Actually,
  • [5:29] Keith: a friend was He had a friend who
  • [5:37] Keith: I recommended amateur content, too. And he was, like, pretty con on it because he wanted more camera angles, which I found kind of an interesting
  • [5:40] Keith: almost ah, cinematic graphic
  • [5:42] Keith: view on porn that I don't really
  • [5:50] Mike: feel like at some point. Maybe it was 10 years ago. You know, when DVDs first started coming out and they had all those, like menus and options and things you could do
  • [5:53] Keith: DVDs was, like, 25 years ago, kid.
  • [6:10] Mike: Yeah, I was sort of realizing that, like Blue Razor, probably at least 10 years. Okay, well, in any case, you remember this, right? Like, and they'll be, like, sort of elaborate menus and stuff. There was a time when you could buy porn and, like, do different angles of the same scene or whatever. Um, yeah, I guess that's I haven't seen that lately.
  • [6:18] Keith: I have to be honest that I never consumed porn during the DVD porn era, so I'm young enough that that's not the case and
  • [6:26] Mike: that keep people, You're older than I look. Okay? No, no. Maybe I either. No, not really. I feel like I just got everything online. Like I don't weigh
  • [6:31] Keith: my usage like, exactly parallel to the development of the Internet.
  • [6:36] Keith: And so I was always able to get it for free and online. Although I know I do know that you've
  • [6:39] Keith: given a few Hamilton's Thio some point studio
  • [6:45] Mike: life I have. I have paid for part of my life. I've never paid for drugs, but I have paid for porn. I'd only paid
  • [6:55] Keith: one time one time I was in 2002 and I paid some money for, um, get the entire catalogue of I deep throat dot com.
  • [7:01] Keith: It was, I think one month subscription was like $9 I just downloaded it all and then canceled it, and then I like, gave it to a bunch of friends.
  • [7:10] Mike: I have wondered about most of these porn sites. I do allow you to download the contents. Maybe they throttle you at some point now, and they weren't sophisticated enough to do that back then.
  • [7:10] Mike: I think,
  • [7:19] Keith: Well, I think also like the idea was that they continually generated new stuff. And so, you know, you wanted to keep subscribing, and that was a specific. I think you know
  • [7:23] Keith: the site. I'm talking about the site of the tube sites like these videos air still
  • [7:29] Keith: at least somewhat popular, although they're gonna be a little bit grainy by today's standards. It was a woman who could
  • [7:30] Keith: you
  • [7:31] Keith: really like? It was
  • [7:35] Mike: that she had she had a impressive Yousaf Agus, This is like,
  • [7:40] Keith: yeah, this is like a woman who I would say, like maybe 20% of men know who she is and like,
  • [7:46] Keith: 0.1% of women know who she is, right? I think what our name is normally
  • [7:50] Mike: normally that's reserved for, like, athletes or whatever. I guess she is an athlete. In many ways,
  • [7:52] Keith: it is sort of an athletic endeavor.
  • [8:09] Keith: Um, but the point. Yeah, like the DVDs. So I'm actually totally unfamiliar with the idea of multiple angles, but I think the V r in the thing I would say about v. R is, I think that ultimately, where you're gonna get to, there is going to be animated stuff, right? Like a three D modeled stuff.
  • [8:18] Keith: And then then you don't have to worry about what the camera is because, like the people aren't actually real. But you won't get there until, like, the models are good enough to persuade you that they're real.
  • [8:39] Mike: Yeah. I wonder if the uncanny valley is lowered for porn because, like, for starters, there is all kinds of animated point like hand ties, like, extremely popular in some countries. Um, and there's other. There's three D porn you can see as well. And yeah, the so called uncanny valley doesn't seem to be a problem there, so
  • [8:42] Mike: Yeah. Yeah, I guess I just don't know. But because
  • [8:45] Keith: they're not like P, they're not supposed to be people. Right?
  • [8:47] Mike: You
  • [8:48] Mike: I think that, I guess.
  • [8:55] Keith: I mean, like, for instance, if you're making a porn version of see Threepio like the bars a lot lower, what would that even be?
  • [8:58] Mike: He doesn't have any orifice. Is or
  • [9:02] Mike: for tuberous is with the gold gold member.
  • [9:03] Mike: Right. Right.
  • [9:05] Mike: Um,
  • [9:13] Mike: okay. One final thing I wanted to discuss, So I went to a bar with Eric on Saturday night. Eric is hopefully gonna be a future guest of the show,
  • [9:23] Mike: and our plan was to be social and to, like, talk to chicks. But instead we just drank too much, and I defended to each other's like negativity.
  • [9:27] Mike: Do you have any thoughts on, like how to steal yourself to approach ladies?
  • [9:40] Keith: Well, I mean, obviously you be the more of an expert, I have to say to the one lady listening to this. The Keith does not have a face for radio. Keith has a has done very well with the ladies, and I think this was just a nawf night for you and
  • [10:04] Keith: the one commentary I've always had on your in many men's approaches. I think that, like you don't have to get drunk. I think there's a clever thing one can do where, when basically tries to adopt the behaviors that one would have if one were drunk and he says, You're in a bar like that's fine right there. Everybody's gonna assume you're tipsy, but you don't actually have to be tipsy.
  • [10:12] Mike: You know, you've we've litigated this before. For me, drinking alcohol makes me feel
  • [10:14] Mike: more gregarious, I guess.
  • [10:14] Mike: Yeah,
  • [10:20] Keith: but you can simulate I mean, like, you're you can simply simulate that feeling. You just have to sort of practice
  • [10:20] Keith: the
  • [10:24] Mike: and you like. How do you simulate feeling? Um,
  • [10:42] Mike: you know, comfortable saying silly things or not worrying about, you know, being turned down. And so far, I'm not sure you can't at least for me. I don't think I can simulate that I can. I can try to pump myself up and just be like, Oh, whatever. I don't care. But drinking alcohol is easier.
  • [10:45] Keith: Yeah, I think that the key
  • [10:53] Keith: psychological trick here that the key thing and what I said is that because you're in a bar, it is acceptable to be drunk. Therefore, if you act drunk,
  • [10:55] Keith: nobody can tell the difference,
  • [10:58] Mike: right? You can get away with it, for sure. And that's the way that yeah,
  • [11:24] Keith: so normally like, let's say I said I was saying you hey, you should do improv, which means you've got to, like, go get up in front of people and do some sort of performance thing that you may or may not be comfortable with. Well, that's different, although people might think, Hey, this is an improv actress. You have that going for you like you're expected to do this certain thing. But here, you actually like this chemical thing that you can pretend is going on when it may or may not be, you know, may not be happening. Um, and I think that I think you can sort of do a simulation there.
  • [11:28] Mike: So is there some way to gamma Phi it? Like, could you make
  • [11:42] Mike: you know, a contest with with your friends and say something like Okay, Like, we're each gonna approach, you know, two or three different groups this evening until we either you know, strike out three times or or hit a single.
  • [11:43] Keith: I have to say that I,
  • [11:58] Keith: uh this is almost always the case in my life. I find myself going out with men who are either somewhat or a lot more attractive than I am. And a long time ago, I did this exact thing with a friend who was significantly more attractive than me. I have to say now he's
  • [11:58] Mike: not
  • [12:08] Mike: well, for starters, you're selling yourself a little bit short here, but I was like, well, attractive. Let's just agree that there was some differential between you and
  • [12:16] Mike: see that again. Let's just agree that there was like, a gap between you and that other guy that we don't need to, like, argue the actual
  • [12:17] Mike: values. That's
  • [12:31] Keith: right. Uh, that's not actually the key part of the story. We would basically have this game. We would play where you would go out and you were supposed to hit on a girl, and you had to get to a certain phase of it on you had a time limit,
  • [12:54] Keith: and, um, the other person would be basically observing you like you wouldn't know they would sort of be in the background watching U. S. You sort of had to go do the thing because it was kind of you're supposed to do it. He's going to hit on somebody. And then I think the goal was to get them to kiss you. And I remember specifically getting pulled out of a conversation with, like, a pretty attractive girl. Like when the time limit hit and being really upset about that.
  • [12:56] Keith: I have no memory of
  • [13:02] Mike: that. You feel like you felt like you just needed another 90 seconds and the kiss was gonna happen. Or you were just enjoying the banter. And
  • [13:05] Keith: no, I wanted to, like, talk to her like I was like, Oh, this is really cool.
  • [13:13] Mike: Well, okay, so going forward to the two of you should have negotiated, like, a hand symbol to be like, Hey, uh, you know, game over, Uh, I want to pursue this.
  • [13:24] Keith: Yeah. See, now. So the reason why I didn't want to do that was because the vast majority of the time he was more successful than I was. So I liked that part of the game that I could not. I could basically do that to him repeatedly,
  • [13:26] Mike: right?
  • [13:31] Mike: Yeah. Well, you know, you reap what you sow, I guess, or you'll play same rules. It's
  • [13:36] Keith: like a It's like a golf thing. It would be nice if you'd like a handicap, but we weren't sophisticated enough.
  • [13:46] Mike: I feel like for me like, yeah, like I'm comfortable in conversations. I indeed I really like talking and meeting new people, but yeah, I need, like, some sort of like
  • [14:00] Mike: like a like a strong prod to just force myself to do it, cause once I once I have, like, make contact, it's always fun, and it's fine, but yeah, there's, like, some sort of ah reluctance at the start and like being with Erica's. I particularly problematic because, uh,
  • [14:05] Mike: yeah, being outgoing, it's not necessarily his
  • [14:07] Mike: core confidence. See, that's not
  • [14:18] Keith: exactly right. Like he's he can have a decent approach. Uh, yeah, I've seen him approach well, it's just sometimes he often likes to approach with sort of sardonic comments which could make it a little tricky.
  • [14:28] Mike: Yeah, I mean, he's hyper witty, but his his sense of humor is not for everyone, Especially in, like, a, you know, lighthearted bar context. That's right.
  • [14:30] Mike: So go catch, Rocky.
  • [14:53] Mike: Okay, I think we should start on our topics because we have some graves. We have some good ones here. So I'm gonna start with this giant test one hard this. Are you cool with that? Yeah. Let's do it. Okay, So this was posted by the movie buff on, and the topic is how to test or how to tell my partner about my sexual giant test fetish. I don't think I knew that were giant tests before I read this. Is that even a word? Yes.
  • [15:09] Mike: Okay. All right. So I have a fetish called macro feel. Yah, I fantasize about being shrunk down to an inch tall and becoming a giant woman slave and play thing. I imagine giant women squeezing me between their breasts, forcing me to worship their feet. Being crushed under their ass is and eaten alive to digest in their stomach.
  • [15:25] Mike: I'm comfortable with the weirdness side of it personally, but my main concern is letting my partner in on this side of me. It's a pretty unusual slash difficult thing to preface. Any thoughts also feel free to judge. I'm used to it, and it will no doubt be a little bit of entertainment outside the dilemma itself.
  • [15:27] Mike: What are your initial thoughts here much?
  • [15:31] Keith: Well, I mean the there's like there's like a
  • [15:51] Keith: a feeling that's like embedded here, although this person is taking to the extreme, which is that, like some men are interested in being with a woman who is taller or bigger than them, let's let's stick with taller and not because bigger could be interpreted as fat Um, which is like a different. I think there's an entirely different genre of finish there,
  • [16:05] Keith: Um, and that one I mean, like, I think that I I can understand where they're coming from on that, um, I don't I personally for the tall, tall, tall like I don't personally have experience with one women who are taller than me. I don't know. Do you have experience in that area?
  • [16:07] Mike: Um,
  • [16:15] Mike: no, not actually taller. I have been with some women who are quite told, but none who are as tall as me.
  • [16:22] Mike: I'm six feet tall, so Yeah, I mean, I don't know what, like, percentile, that is for female height, but surely it's like 95th. Or actually,
  • [16:25] Mike: maybe you've seen the 99th?
  • [16:31] Mike: I have no idea, but generally, like, I feel like that's sort of
  • [16:33] Mike: unattractive.
  • [16:34] Mike: Oh,
  • [16:37] Keith: really? So you find out, like, totally uncompelling?
  • [16:39] Mike: Uh, I mean, there's
  • [16:41] Mike: yes, I think when?
  • [16:56] Mike: No, it's not totally uncompelling, but it's it's a negative factor. So I don't know, like, you know, every anchor incremental inch above, like, say, 59 is probably not great. Um, and then,
  • [17:02] Mike: yeah, like it's some height like attraction dropped zero. Like, you know, I would obviously not be attracted to an eight foot tall woman
  • [17:07] Mike: or nine foot tall or whatever. And then, you know, you could sort of slowly walk it back. Um,
  • [17:12] Mike: actually wonder if a sufficiently attractive time for talk woman. I don't know. I'd have to think about that,
  • [17:22] Mike: but yeah. I mean, it's been like height. I think, uh, I'm not quite sure. I have some thoughts there, but do you want to expand on this, or do you want to comment?
  • [17:32] Keith: Well, I mean, the nine foot tall woman. The problem would be I mean, you start asking yourself like whether you're now at the hot dog being thrown down the hallway. Situate. In other words, it does her entire body scale.
  • [17:37] Mike: Yeah, like if her vagina is 10 feet wide. Like, obviously, that's bad.
  • [17:55] Mike: But yes, I guess we should, for the sake of this discussion, assume everything else is equal. Is it equal? Like is sex with Like a four foot 11 person is a four foot 11 persons vagina significantly tighter or smaller than a six foot tall for a woman's vagina? I
  • [17:57] Keith: don't think so. Because I think that like,
  • [18:02] Keith: Well, I mean, just anecdotally, I've seen some short women with pretty
  • [18:03] Keith: large
  • [18:09] Keith: illnesses, so I think that like that doesn't matter that much. You might scale a little bit.
  • [18:14] Mike: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's gotta be
  • [18:16] Mike: tight enough to, like, create the friction
  • [18:22] Mike: to reproduce. Um, I bet it's I bet it's basically the same.
  • [18:25] Keith: We'll also like, I mean, there'd be this issue of, like,
  • [18:31] Keith: If you're trying to say that there's no friction like what's going on there? There's like us an empty space,
  • [18:36] Mike: right? Exactly. Yeah, like obviously. Look that, Yeah, the labia have to meet, so, huh?
  • [18:41] Mike: But I don't know, like maybe the vaginal wall is really for the products. I have no idea. I don't know. So you're saying
  • [18:45] Keith: like, let's say you're like in a gym class. You're like walking on the
  • [18:52] Keith: the street and you see a woman who's like 62 and attractive and so forth like you're just like, Yeah, that's not cool.
  • [18:56] Mike: Uh, it's It's less so like, let's say she would be
  • [19:11] Mike: I mean, I guess the only way I could describe this, like using actual numbers like let's say there's a 10 who's five foot nine. Okay. Ah, if she were 62 she would be maybe, um, an 8.5 to me, something like that.
  • [19:13] Mike: I don't know exactly what the ratios are, but you
  • [19:21] Keith: consciously process that, like when you when you first see her, you like, consciously process it that way, like there's no curiosity on it. They're like, Oh, what would this be like?
  • [19:28] Keith: Thio Basically be with something. Okay. Yeah, That's my first question. You don't have any sort of, like curiosity dynamic. There,
  • [19:36] Mike: there there is some curiosity, and indeed, if someone would like to apply its at y m m v pod on Twitter,
  • [19:47] Mike: but yeah, like if somebody is, like, exotic in some way, that I don't necessarily find particularly attractive. I'm still interested in, like, sort of exploring that and finding out
  • [19:48] Keith: okay. And then the
  • [19:53] Mike: other thing, you know, it could be a skin color. Could be hairstyle. Could be height. Could be. Ah,
  • [19:59] Mike: I don't know what other things are there? I don't know. Freckles or not. I don't know STDs.
  • [20:05] Mike: No, it's not something I'm particularly interested in exploring Clipper rode ectomy status.
  • [20:09] Mike: Uh, no, I think that would gather. Could be
  • [20:13] Keith: How about whether or not whether or not they've had breast implants.
  • [20:16] Mike: Oh, I have
  • [20:23] Mike: to my knowledge, I have never been with someone I've never had sex with. Someone with breast implants. Had you? I can't remember
  • [20:26] Keith: No, not to my knowledge. Yeah, uh, I mean, I
  • [20:35] Mike: think you would be like we would know. Yeah, like, it would be really hard to be in a position where you're having sex with someone and not interfacing with their boobs enough to know if they're fake.
  • [20:42] Keith: Well, there's like that. And also, I think there would be some sort of scarring or something that would make it relatively obvious that something was going on there. I think you
  • [20:47] Mike: can tell Tactile Lee whether or not someone's had implants.
  • [20:51] Keith: Well, I mean, I've had enough. Haven't interaction with a stripper.
  • [20:55] Keith: So in that context, yes. You can definitely tell Tactile E. I assume you've had that interaction to
  • [21:15] Mike: gosh, you know, I must have. For starters, I don't really like strip clubs, but I must have Ah, but I don't every I mean for me to, like, not feel really uncomfortable. It's for clubs like I need to. I generally drink on DSO. Yeah, my strip club memories were kind of kind of fuzzy, but you're right. I must have.
  • [21:15] Mike: Yeah, I don't
  • [21:29] Keith: like them either, but my solution of that isn't to drink. It's just to sort of see, this is the thing you can act drunk. You gonna adopt sort of strange behaviors. But the main thing that, like you, you see it strip clubs. Is that like when they kind of get close to you like
  • [21:35] Keith: they're they're they're breasts are sort of their guns, right? That's what they're using to kind of kind of
  • [21:37] Keith: tease you with, right?
  • [21:38] Keith: And I think
  • [21:38] Mike: I got to
  • [21:46] Keith: assume also to sort of keep you away from their crotch. I mean that they don't really want you down there. So there's a lot of like pushing them in, you
  • [21:50] Keith: encouraging you to sort of be around them and like you, its sister of obvious What's going on
  • [21:54] Mike: interest? I mean, those are the primary tools of the trade,
  • [21:57] Mike: at least at the standard strip club set up.
  • [22:12] Keith: Yeah, and you can tell Ah, yeah, there's there's a difference if they're if they're fake. But, uh, there's another piece to what's going on with this dude, which is what's really going. I think with this dude is that he wants to be dominated. He wants to be submissive,
  • [22:19] Keith: and that, I think, like, is a more like, sort of fruitful topic in the sense and like,
  • [22:29] Keith: I think that's where my mind goes. When I see a woman that's like six foot two is you think, Oh, it It might be interesting to be sort of in that role of like, uh,
  • [22:37] Keith: Not in the role where you're actually shrunk down to a small whatever like a mama I shrunk. What is it, honey? I shrunk the kids size.
  • [22:45] Mike: He's not clear. I mean, he's actually guess he is, he says. I fantasized about being shrunk down to an inch tall. They mean that he can't really mean that.
  • [22:54] Keith: Well, he's just Yeah, that's like sort of an extreme like fantasy. But I think what's really going on is he, like he wants to be, like, told what to do. He wants, basically like to be dominated.
  • [23:01] Mike: That's my strong guess here, although is it possible that, like there's something about like,
  • [23:02] Mike: large
  • [23:07] Mike: size differential that could be alluring?
  • [23:21] Keith: I think it's alluring in this in this particular way and that, like like I said, like when I see a woman that's six foot two or something, that's like where my mind goes on like Ho, that would be sort of interesting. Like I mean, I like I I take it from your response, like you find nothing interesting in that which I think is like a relatively
  • [23:25] Keith: common male thing, at least.
  • [23:31] Keith: Well, sometimes people lie, but it's a generally, like a common male thing to be like. No, no, I always have to be dominant.
  • [23:34] Mike: Most men prefer being dominant. Yes,
  • [23:36] Mike: for at least express prefer being dominant. I don't know if that's
  • [23:42] Keith: right. Prefers the weird word there, right? It's like you prefer it Or is it just like this is the expected role?
  • [23:45] Mike: Yeah. Yeah, that's that's a good point. I don't know,
  • [23:53] Keith: right? So then I'm sort of like when I see, it s so like, where this question takes me is I'm like, well, you know, Yeah. I mean, like, it would be sort of interesting
  • [23:54] Keith: to be
  • [23:57] Keith: in a situation with a woman who was, like,
  • [24:00] Keith: physically bigger than you. Now,
  • [24:09] Keith: I could see being really negative, too, in a variety of ways. Like maybe she'd want to do stuff you don't want to do. Maybe you'd wind up getting pegged. Maybe she's actually a man.
  • [24:11] Keith: Uh, and and you're not into that kind of thing. So
  • [24:19] Mike: right, Yeah. I mean, that that size, you know, one has to wonder. It's gotta be hard for women who are that tall two
  • [24:24] Mike: find sexually satisfying. Well, to find partners generally because,
  • [24:33] Mike: like, I'm a fairly tall person. But yeah, like I'm not really interested in someone who's 62 And there are women who are 62 and so it's got to be a pain for them to find
  • [24:43] Mike: people who are interested in them. And then once they do, like, maybe all the men they find are, like, super submissive. And, you know, these women are like, now, like I want to be the submissive one. Like, Yeah, I can imagine it being frustrating.
  • [24:58] Keith: Yeah, I think for that reason, a lot of times they seek out guys that are like 64 like they basically go even taller, right? So then you wind up with this, like, sort of a race of Giants basketball players and the like, although I'm not sure if that's actually that works.
  • [24:59] Keith: We saw something
  • [25:01] Mike: tall finding tall, You mean yeah,
  • [25:04] Keith: and then having tall kids like I actually think there's like a reversion to the mean there?
  • [25:06] Keith: Yeah, I'm not sure, probably,
  • [25:12] Keith: But so hang on. So you are you saying that like you find nothing compelling about, like,
  • [25:15] Keith: the aspect of like, oh, what would it be like to be with a woman who, like, wanted to be in charge?
  • [25:22] Mike: No. I do find it intellectually and like, sexually curious. But if I had to, like,
  • [25:24] Mike: pick a partner
  • [25:32] Mike: like if I to design like my next partner and I knew they were gonna be my last, I would not want them to be that, like, I want to try it. But I don't wanna marry it or whatever.
  • [25:32] Mike: And
  • [25:40] Keith: you're saying you this is not something you've tried. You've never been with a woman who's like, Ah, you know, tryingto take control, dominate dominatrix as it were.
  • [25:41] Keith: Yeah.
  • [25:42] Mike: No, not really. You did
  • [25:48] Keith: have the woman, as we discussed in the last episode who you had to race to have to get to orgasm with.
  • [25:51] Mike: Yeah, that's not
  • [25:53] Mike: She wasn't demanding that I orgasm
  • [26:08] Keith: right. She was just She was. It's almost It's almost passive aggressive sex. That's what she was you're having. She was in a passive aggressive role. She's like, I'm not gonna insist things on you here, but I am going to orgasm as fast as possible, thus
  • [26:09] Keith: depriving you of your enjoyment.
  • [26:13] Mike: Correct? Yeah, that's an accurate description. Fast, passive
  • [26:16] Keith: aggressive partner, But no, no aggressive. Barney's. Yeah, I don't have
  • [26:20] Mike: I really wonder how she would describe what was going on there.
  • [26:22] Keith: We got to get her on the podcast. You
  • [26:25] Mike: It's gonna be tough, but it is a medium term double.
  • [26:28] Keith: Yeah, Um,
  • [26:34] Keith: yeah, I don't I don't think I have a lot of experience I would be interested in. I would be super interested in talking to a woman. That was
  • [26:36] Keith: that had those traits? Uh,
  • [26:40] Mike: no. I think it would be an interesting conversation. It's There's just no way she'll do it. So No,
  • [26:53] Keith: no, no, no. I'm saying I would be interested in talking to any woman that had the Straits. I'd like to ask questions like, Look, what would you do to me? How would it go? Like Oh, sure, I would love to have her, like, describe for me the scene. And what what's what's sort of the optimal? I don't know if I could know
  • [26:56] Keith: whether I would like it without actually doing it,
  • [27:00] Keith: but at least trying to imagine. And when you watch, like, porn
  • [27:03] Mike: it in that sentence just to be crystal clear What the It
  • [27:16] Keith: is whatever a woman who is like a dominate sort of more dominant, wants to dio like what? What do they do? Like, what is what's there? Go to move, like, how do they express that? And I mean, I know what I've seen on videos, but the
  • [27:25] Mike: loss of control is supposed to be ah, like a turn on for many maybe, maybe most people.
  • [27:26] Mike: But there's something there.
  • [27:33] Keith: Yeah, maybe I'm just curious, like what actually happens. I guess I could read 50 shades of grey or 50 shades of grey. The
  • [27:38] Mike: seat Sure. Those air, the canonical texts,
  • [27:42] Mike: filmdom situations is that the term
  • [27:45] Mike: isn't Isn't that what Fenton means? Female dominance?
  • [27:52] Keith: Oh, no, I I've never seen that term before. That's nice. Maybe. Is there is there? Is that one of the subjects that you cruise? Uh,
  • [27:56] Mike: it is not. But I am sure that there is a friend. Um Subreddit
  • [27:58] Mike: uh I'm
  • [28:00] Keith: not researched a lot. I
  • [28:02] Keith: I should look into it more.
  • [28:08] Mike: Yeah, maybe there's like a yet Maybe we should explore the place too enthusiastically. Indulge in your favorite fetish.
  • [28:09] Mike: Yep.
  • [28:20] Mike: Dedicated to discussions. Frequently asked questions. That experience is related to female domination. A beauteous, um, 56,000 subscribers. I mean, I would be curious about, like so it's mostly pictures. But how do you
  • [28:22] Keith: like? How do you
  • [28:30] Keith: and these are things that I have asked the woman like, How could a woman unless she's actually like Sorry. Sorry. What did you say?
  • [28:34] Keith: Well, I gotta know. I gotta know. Keith. You have to describe it for our listeners. You can't
  • [28:35] Mike: leave.
  • [28:39] Mike: Uh, come on. It's behind a man. She has
  • [28:46] Mike: his balls, like grabbed. She's like pulling back hard on them and her fist is up. His asshole.
  • [28:47] Mike: Jesus.
  • [28:49] Keith: Now wait, What's the camera angle here?
  • [28:56] Mike: Uh, there's a fits 1/3 party with Okay. And, uh, my word, this is Ah,
  • [28:58] Mike: can you find out what we're gonna be tonight? Let
  • [29:05] Keith: me ask you this. If she was wearing a wristwatch, would you be able to see the wrist watcher? Would it be inside his anise?
  • [29:11] Mike: It's right around. It's It's her. She's definitely in above the break of the wrist.
  • [29:12] Mike: I'm not sure if you could see it. You
  • [29:15] Keith: just send me the video. Oh, my Lord,
  • [29:21] Keith: that's Ah, It's like she's It's It's genuinely like she's churning butter here.
  • [29:25] Mike: Oh, God. Yeah. Okay. All right, I'm close. I'm closing my site. I made it through, like, four loops of the gift.
  • [29:30] Keith: I'm not closing it. This guy, he has some really low, low hanging nuts.
  • [29:33] Mike: Well, it's unclear if that would have happened if she wasn't yanking on
  • [29:34] Mike: God. And like, the thing
  • [29:36] Keith: about it is, she's gotten to
  • [29:40] Keith: the point in her arm where you would think to yourself like she could go all the way to the elbow there.
  • [29:46] Mike: Yeah, Yeah, I think she's being kind to stop there. And she's really a humanitarian. This is
  • [29:50] Keith: like some sort of a medieval colonoscopy.
  • [29:51] Mike: Yeah, it's
  • [29:55] Mike: It's bad. Okay, Mike, we got it. We're gonna be fun,
  • [30:00] Mike: or if I get it, I put it in the show notes, but we'll get, like, banned from like all the podcast service is so
  • [30:02] Keith: people could find it easily.
  • [30:08] Mike: Yeah. Um let's see. Oh, yeah. What is Thea? What was Thea? What was the topic of it? I closed it.
  • [30:10] Keith: It's called. He's at her mercy.
  • [30:18] Mike: Yeah. So if you look at that on the thin red it, you'll find it. So okay, next topic. This was by, uh,
  • [30:42] Mike: a D u O s amore s o. My girlfriend used her vibrator on me. I'm a guy and never knew this was a thing. Apparently she saw it in porno or something. She used her vibrator on the underside of Mike lands, and it felt super good. And it didn't take much. And I just came and every new guys could come using vibrators like that. So glands is like, Where? The tip of the Penis on the underside?
  • [30:46] Keith: No, no. The glands is the mushroom shaped head of your Penis. I'm
  • [30:49] Mike: not like the entire head of the Penis is called the glands.
  • [30:53] Keith: Yeah, the underside there, I believe, is called the Friend Alum.
  • [30:58] Mike: Okay, that's like a super sensitive area. The glands is just another word for the head of the Penis. I don't understand
  • [31:01] Keith: how you don't like men are supposed to be super like
  • [31:06] Mike: I know this has come up a couple times during our show where, like, there's, like, son
  • [31:09] Mike: turning like is that I just don't know. There's only
  • [31:14] Keith: like seven anatomical words that are relevant here, but yeah, okay, so yes, so the
  • [31:16] Keith: so, yeah. Have you tried?
  • [31:20] Mike: You don't really know what glands is either. You're just saying it's another word for head.
  • [31:29] Keith: No, it's that it's the part of It's the part that, if you have an intact foreskin, is under the foreskin. And it's the shiny part when you for, you know,
  • [31:32] Keith: super smooth part that the head, it's the fucking head
  • [31:34] Keith: least confused about that.
  • [31:46] Mike: Here's what Google says, and they have a d d for glance, which is good for them. The rounded part forming the end of the peanuts or clitoris. There's a glands, clitoral Otis and a glands Penis.
  • [31:47] Keith: That's right.
  • [31:57] Keith: And just so people know ah a d d that he tha mentioned. That's when Google direct displays something to you, gives you some idea of what domain we work in.
  • [31:58] Mike: Yeah,
  • [32:03] Mike: so, uh, without digging too much further there, Uh,
  • [32:13] Mike: so that's interesting. So this guy is like, Yeah, I mean, I mean, it's interesting because from looking this up in the Dictionary of Now established exactly what's going on here, like, that's where the girl would use a vibrator
  • [32:23] Mike: on her glands, so it shouldn't be that surprising. Now, I'm not sure that like something. Ah, well, he doesn't say exactly. Where does he say? Here.
  • [32:26] Keith: You gonna hit me off with that? You've never done this before.
  • [32:27] Keith: Hold
  • [32:33] Mike: on a second vibrator on the underside of my glands. So that's on the front differential. Um,
  • [32:40] Keith: you obviously know that word, because you just you actually reset it with a different pronunciation from me. So it's great. Yes.
  • [32:42] Keith: It searched that on Google, too.
  • [32:51] Mike: Okay. On the underside of my glands and it felt super good, and it didn't take much. I just came. I have not tried a vibrator on my Penis. Why not? Honestly,
  • [32:52] Mike: I don't know.
  • [32:56] Mike: Mostly because I don't need to.
  • [33:03] Keith: But you're I mean, you're the one that's, like, kind of I guess you're you're the one in your your claim that, like, you get no, no better orgasm.
  • [33:06] Keith: Everything is always the same. So it's like, Why? Why bother doing anything new?
  • [33:11] Mike: Right, Right, right, right. The orgasm intensity discussion. Yeah. I mean, uh,
  • [33:17] Mike: mostly, I just want tohave the orgasm. I mean, it's it's better they could be better or worse, but,
  • [33:42] Mike: uh, a circumstance. What's the circumstances? So I I have never bought a vibrator. I've had partners that have a vibrator, but normally, if the partner is around, the vibrator is used being used on them or not at all like they're there. Haven't really been situations where I've been in a room where it's time to masturbate and there's been a vibrator there. And why did you say them instead of her?
  • [33:52] Mike: Uh, I'm not sure. The wishful thinking. Perhaps I was thinking of this has happened multiple times as you have misused the plural. They're gone. It okay? Yeah. So
  • [33:55] Keith: no Freudian slip, no home, right? No.
  • [33:56] Mike: Um
  • [33:59] Mike: okay, but, uh
  • [34:01] Mike: okay, well, presumably you have.
  • [34:13] Keith: Well, I mean, I totally I don't totally understand. Your story's still because it's like, Okay, so you have one around with a woman there who uses it. Well, it never occurred to you like to try it on yourself.
  • [34:16] Mike: Um
  • [34:29] Mike: I mean, I want to say no. There's little long dramatic pause there. Yeah. I mean, I don't I guess it has. Yes, it has. Its just the opportunity. Hasn't you know? I need I need things to be right, Mike. And and they just weren't.
  • [34:32] Keith: There was No, There was no candles and send. Right.
  • [34:45] Keith: Well, let me ask you this. Have you ever been having intercourse with a girl? And she uses a vibrator during that process? Of course. Yes. Okay, so when you so she's so
  • [34:57] Keith: bear with me here. But when you're doing that procedure with your Penis, the procedure were you pump your Penis in and out of the woman's body while she was using a vibrator that every man always wants to do.
  • [34:59] Keith: That's called Sex
  • [35:08] Keith: E. Look, I've heard that word. When you pull out, you're the I mean, you're gonna get some vibration. That all right
  • [35:10] Mike: thinking about or
  • [35:13] Keith: are you sort of a deep, deep thrusters? You don't
  • [35:27] Mike: e, I guess. Yeah, you would. I I would feel that. So, yeah. I mean, I guess it's true. I must have felt a vibration on my Penis. I can't really remember noting it as particularly great or bad in any way.
  • [35:29] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I don't like
  • [35:34] Keith: my experience with it is it doesn't do anything for me. I will say this. That
  • [35:37] Mike: seems like it would be too intense.
  • [35:45] Keith: No, it just doesn't do anything like its ad. I am. I leave for me like it's just mutants. It's like nothing.
  • [35:50] Mike: Why do you think it's such a winner for so many women?
  • [35:54] Mike: I'm not just like a man. Can't really create that feeling.
  • [35:59] Keith: Yeah, I've thought about this before. I have thought about this before. Like, I think
  • [36:09] Keith: something about, like, everything being packed closer together on the woman. And so, like, the vibrating is like I'm or effective. I honestly like, I think I think that anybody who tried to give you an answer that would just be guessing,
  • [36:11] Mike: huh?
  • [36:20] Mike: Yeah, because for me, like you just like a super strong or fast vibration on the underside of my Penis doesn't really seem like
  • [36:23] Mike: like, for me, it's more like, Yeah, you went like friction there,
  • [36:27] Mike: not vibration. Yeah. I mean, there is a
  • [36:30] Keith: thing that I want to say. Which is a thing I discovered is a
  • [36:38] Keith: teenager. Go on. Which is that you can achieve two very different experiences with your with your Penis.
  • [36:45] Keith: Ah, one is the what I would consider like or normal. I look, I mean, there's a lot of different ways to masturbate.
  • [36:51] Keith: But this one is sort of like the most normal one where you just sort of stroking up and down the shaft.
  • [36:53] Keith: But you can also get a
  • [37:08] Keith: different experience that someone like, I think, what this guy's describing, where you basically focus exclusively on the the glands and sort of like rubbing it in some way and have experienced there, is that you is that the onset of the orgasm is much faster.
  • [37:13] Keith: Um, and it doesn't last long, but it's a little bit more intense. I don't know if you have that experience,
  • [37:15] Mike: huh?
  • [37:31] Mike: I mean, not I wonder which one of the two of us is the unusual one here. Like you really focus on, uh, cultivating a variety of orgasm experiences. And, like, I wouldn't be surprised if you have a spreadsheet, like charting the intensity. I don't I don't
  • [37:32] Mike: It's all right,
  • [37:39] Mike: Sure. But I mean, yeah. I mean, you, you effectively have that sort of data collection going on. Um,
  • [37:42] Mike: well, like, yeah, I want to get my nut, man.
  • [37:45] Keith: Well, look, I mean, if you're
  • [37:53] Keith: you have to sort of decide how you're gonna do it, though. I mean, you, right? I mean, you just say, like, look, am I gonna gonna focus on the shaft of the head today, right?
  • [37:54] Keith: No.
  • [37:56] Mike: Okay. Yeah. Yes.
  • [38:01] Keith: So there's some differences there, like you can achieve a different experience. And so you might say out today, I'm gonna do this,
  • [38:06] Mike: knowing I totally acknowledge that. It's just that
  • [38:12] Mike: Yeah, I think I just sort of decide on the fly. And don't really make note of anything about it,
  • [38:13] Keith: huh?
  • [38:19] Keith: Yeah. I mean, like, I think I would encourage you. Like if you if you just. If you If you try to get a nut out
  • [38:26] Keith: and on Lee touch the hand of the head the whole time, you will have a different experience. I mean, that's probably something you've never done.
  • [38:30] Keith: Yeah, I have not. You could do it. A report back? Yeah,
  • [38:34] Keith: maybe, uh, do, actually a recording of yourself doing that.
  • [38:36] Keith: And you could shout my name right when you're not.
  • [38:50] Mike: Yeah, that's probably not gonna happen. Okay, just a couple of the comments in this threat are interesting. So a lot of men are saying Yes, I have used a vibrator on myself, and it's great. Um, some people say no. Um,
  • [38:51] Mike: there is a
  • [38:55] Keith: place, by the way. The men do use vibrators. It's just not there.
  • [38:56] Keith: Yeah, up the But
  • [38:58] Mike: I have not tried that.
  • [39:00] Mike: Why not?
  • [39:06] Mike: Well, if I were to try something with a vibrator, definitely be something with my Penis first,
  • [39:10] Keith: but But, I mean, I'm telling you straight up, that's not gonna do anything for you. So you're gonna have to go up the but
  • [39:13] Mike: well, you strongly suspect.
  • [39:22] Keith: If that's true, it's just a suspicion, But okay, let me Let's say it did nothing for you. Would you then go up the butt with it?
  • [39:29] Keith: Uh, you spent a good, like, 30 to $40 on this thing. I mean, you want to get your money's worth?
  • [39:32] Keith: I don't know.
  • [39:38] Keith: You get a really thin one. It doesn't have to, like distended you. You don't have a gaping afterward.
  • [39:39] Mike: Uh,
  • [39:43] Mike: yeah. I don't know. I don't I mean, I don't know. No, I don't think I would.
  • [39:49] Keith: OK, so the real answer for the people listening here is he might, but he's never gonna tell May.
  • [39:52] Mike: Well, yeah, then yeah. What if he's like
  • [39:54] Keith: Mike? I just stuck something in my asshole. I felt
  • [40:08] Mike: great. Sometimes you meet somebody and they'll be like, Oh, I don't like foie gras or I don't like, you know, expensive steaks. Or I don't like uni or I don't like some, like, really expensive, exotic food. Steak isn't. But those other two are a little bit.
  • [40:20] Mike: And, you know, really, you shouldn't cultivate alike of those things because they're expensive. They're hard to get. They're not very good for you. Um, in the case of foie gras, like there's, you know, sort of questionable farming practices.
  • [40:22] Mike: Um,
  • [40:30] Mike: the analogy here is let's say that I discover that I really, like having things up my asshole that are vibrating. Well,
  • [40:54] Mike: now the rest of my life. Like, you know now, unlike this guy who, like, you know, needs a woman who is like, eight feet tall or else he's not able to have an orgasm like I don't want it. I don't I don't wantto cultivate an interest in mezzo. Ah, where I might be a little bit curious to sort of know like, Yeah, I don't really want to, uh, have Yeah. What if I like it?
  • [41:05] Keith: I mean, I I see what you're going with that, like basically, you're seeing a straight line between a little thin vibrator that vibrates your prostate. And suddenly that's what that is. It's You know what this is? It's like
  • [41:12] Keith: until George Lucas made the terrible prequels for Star Wars. There was always that question of, like, what turned Darth Vader evil. And it's that line
  • [41:27] Keith: that connects the small negative thing. You do the big negative. And so here you see in your mind that if you start with this small vibrator, you will wind up like the man in the he's at her mercy video with just somebody's arm all the way up there,
  • [41:51] Mike: right? Yeah. I thought the place you were gonna go here is like, that sort of obvious thing, which is like, Oh, yeah, you're worried. Your gate. That's not my concern. Like I, uh, I'm not gay, like I don't have that concern. But I am concerned that, uh, some sort of like anal or like prostate stimulation through the anise could be something enjoyable. And I just I don't really want to cultivate that. That interest,
  • [41:51] Mike: it's
  • [42:10] Keith: interesting. That's like, That's, you know, that's very similar to the thing that a few friends have said to me about why they're so reluctant to hire a prostitute. You're like, if I did it and I like it right. And then then that's it. I basically have to do this all the time. And so you Yet you're like, Look, I don't want things of my butt all the time. Like it just doesn't seem like that. Great. Going
  • [42:24] Mike: the counter argument there would be like, Well, yeah, you might like it now. Yeah, I don't know. Like, let's say you're married with kids and you discover that, like, you can go have, like, really satisfying sex with a prostitute. That's bad. That's that's almost certainly
  • [42:26] Mike: not gonna go anywhere. Good. And this it's not in
  • [42:33] Keith: our spreadsheet, but what was this thing? You mentioned? A thing about a guy sticking? Ah, handle of the knife up his butt.
  • [42:35] Mike: No, I didn't.
  • [42:37] Mike: Are you are? You
  • [42:41] Keith: know, maybe I read that you're cheating on you.
  • [42:48] Keith: Maybe I read that. No, there was a threat and read it. That was about I thought maybe you sent it to me. And that was the thing I read. It was a threat about like, what's the strange fetish you have or whatever.
  • [42:52] Mike: Oh, no, it was It's What's the craziest thing you've done when horny, right?
  • [43:13] Keith: Yeah. The thing I scrolled immediately to or maybe was the first response was some guy did. I mean, like it. Look, guys, if you want to put things up your but don't put the handle of the knife, don't put something in the other. One that do not use is something like the handle of, like, a toilet plunger, something that's a really long like a baseball bat long. That's probably thinking, you know what I mean? Because the issue Let's just take the toilet plunger.
  • [43:20] Keith: If you're busy doing that and you slip and fall and that thing goes, I mean, you could damage yourself. So stick to stick something short.
  • [43:25] Mike: Yeah, I don't understand. I mean, without a lady's of this, You see
  • [43:52] Mike: movies of this. This is really good protests. I hope people are writing this down. Uh, you see stuff like this in pictures and pictures or videos all the time. Just people putting ridiculous things and their various. Or if Orpheus is And like, I can imagine that, like some people like, get into that, like, they're something some part of, like, the pain or the wrist aspect is is a turn on, but ah, just generally, like if, if especially if it's early days of exploring your
  • [43:59] Mike: Uranus, like yet. Probably stick to, um, the vanilla vibrator or something.
  • [44:03] Keith: Yeah. I mean, you know, you can buy it on Amazon will come with, you know, you could do
  • [44:11] Mike: as an instruction guide. It'll be You know how to feel comfortable about where you're going in your life? Uh, yeah. Actually, if
  • [44:20] Keith: you live with other people, a really good tip that I've read online issue. No. The Amazon has that Amazon locker service. Now, in a lot of cities where you can have things delivered to a locker,
  • [44:21] Keith: you know? So don't leave your house.
  • [44:24] Mike: Yeah. The delivery guy doesn't know what's in the packages. No,
  • [44:36] Keith: no, it's not that. It's if you live with the people and you're like, I mean, if you're a dude and you're ordering, like the prostate, prostate or the prostate, prostate, a buzzer or whatever right? Seeing that, maybe
  • [44:41] Mike: yeah, or extra small condoms or, you know, whatever it may be. Yeah. Yeah.
  • [44:46] Mike: Uh, okay. Let's move. on. Wait, did we Did we fully litigate this guy? Yeah. The vibrator got your It doesn't
  • [44:48] Keith: do any. It doesn't work. Like this
  • [44:56] Mike: guy's the one guys. All percentage of men for whom it may be nothing, but But you should People should try just
  • [44:57] Mike: We'll go ahead. Go ahead.
  • [45:00] Keith: I'm just saying that reiterating the fact that people try
  • [45:04] Keith: neglecting the shaft one time, just cover the head and you'll see you get a different.
  • [45:14] Mike: Okay, Just what percentage of men do you think would would enjoy, uh, glands stimulation by a vibrator?
  • [45:29] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I always am reluctant to put something down it, like, 1% because way discussed this before. Like the prison, Like Like Like I forget. Like, 1% of people have, like, all kinds of things. True about thumb. And so let's call it that between one and 5%.
  • [45:32] Mike: Okay? And then what about women?
  • [45:34] Keith: Oh, it's virtually 100%.
  • [45:38] Mike: Yeah. I just think that's interesting, because, you know, it's the same stem cells
  • [45:39] Mike: back on that topic.
  • [45:46] Keith: Yeah, I mean, but it's It's more tie. Yeah, like I say, I don't know. It's more tightly packed. I don't know it's it. It works for them. And it doesn't for men.
  • [45:53] Mike: Okay, next topic. Do you guys think about other girls during sex? And then they gives this, like, sort of weird.
  • [46:12] Mike: Now, whatever it shorts, I'll read it. But it's weird. I watched a friend's episode where Ross and Chandler talk about thinking about celebrities and other hot people they know when they're having sex with Rachel and Janice. So this is Ross talking about having sex with Rachel. Wait, Janice. Janice was like Chandler's ex or something. She's like the annoying voice, like the Brooklyn accent. Well,
  • [46:14] Keith: they were. All of them were annoying. My Okay,
  • [46:15] Mike: fine. Right.
  • [46:32] Mike: Anyway, is this something lots of guys to regularly question mark. Question Mark. My boyfriend will often finish quickly if I'm in pain, as I don't like telling him to stop. And now I'm thinking that maybe is thinking of other women when he does this. Okay, let's forget that, like, first clause in that sentence, because that's sort of pregnant with meaning, but, um,
  • [46:37] Mike: yeah. Okay. So, Mike, do you ever think about their girl string sex?
  • [46:38] Mike: Well, not
  • [46:40] Keith: intentionally
  • [46:56] Keith: generally, but has it popped into my head? Sure. I mean, especially when you're eso ah, inundated with porn and and also being a man. I mean, like, you know, you just see women all the time. And so there, you know that that stuff is gonna gonna come into your head from time to time. But
  • [46:57] Mike: I would say
  • [47:00] Keith: pretty rarely, actually, I don't know. What's your take on?
  • [47:23] Mike: That's interesting. Not intentionally and pretty rarely. I mean, look, you're married and like, you have the chance of your wife listening to this. So I I'm saying, like, a 50% truthiness value to what you just said. Um, but yeah, for me. Uh, yeah. I mean, I definitely think about other women from time to time. Um, you know, with new sexual partners less and with with older sexual partners more. Um, but, I mean,
  • [47:38] Keith: how does that work? I mean, how well so explain to me the dynamic of that sear your thrusting your in the missionary position, saying you're thrusting on what's what do you do? Your close your eyes and you're like, All right, I'm gonna imagine that woman fisting some guy's anise,
  • [47:42] Mike: right? Yeah. I mean, I'm worried about you. That's why I had to stop after four loops of that gift like it was I
  • [47:43] Keith: got it, I got it.
  • [47:47] Keith: But they say I, you know, imagine like, whatever hot chick on
  • [48:03] Mike: yesterday, let's argue by sort of like the reverse. So there are times when, like, perhaps we're close to orgasm or you don't want to be aroused where you can, like, sort of fill your head with thoughts of things from I don't know what the opposite of a greatest hits album would be. But like,
  • [48:11] Mike: you know, things that are, like, obviously not attractive and yeah, bye bye the same sort of, uh,
  • [48:16] Keith: you're saying the old idea of, like you're saying the idea of, like, thinking about baseball to not nut.
  • [48:22] Mike: Correct? Okay, so we agree that that's like, you know, somewhat highly deployed and useful strategy.
  • [48:26] Mike: I don't know how much it actually works, but it's a thing that people try. It's a thing
  • [48:32] Keith: that, like becomes less and less important as you get older. But sure, like there's a right. It's extremely important technique to cultivate,
  • [48:35] Mike: right? Yeah, maybe we'll get to the guy who, like,
  • [48:39] Mike: came in his pants after this, this one, but, um
  • [48:51] Mike: Yeah. I mean, so yes. So that happens. And then yeah, like on the opposite side. Like sometimes it could be arousing to think of something you've seen in porn that week. Or,
  • [49:06] Mike: uh, this is somebody that work that's attractive or previous sexual partner or an actress or whatever, like, yeah, it happens from time to time. I'm surprised that you're saying you almost never do that.
  • [49:14] Keith: Well, you know, just sort of pick that apart a little bit. I mean, you came with a lot of different examples there, chum the
  • [49:20] Keith: and also interestingly, when you were talking about a greatest hits tape, I was imagining
  • [49:28] Keith: greatest hits sexually. In other words, I was imagining. So here's Here's what I want to understand. Is this because you're having trouble? Nutting?
  • [49:33] Mike: Uh, no. I think it's subconscious.
  • [49:38] Mike: Like I'm not like, Oh, this would be better if I were
  • [49:46] Mike: more aroused or thinking about something else. It's just my brain sort of races that does it from time to time, unintentionally.
  • [50:00] Keith: So it's not You're not trying to peek up, you're not. You're not trying to get like two extra squirts out of your prostate Now, whatever, Whatever you guys try to do whatever you're just like you're saying like you'll just be No does. Do you find this happens? Maurine the dog.
  • [50:03] Keith: When you're in the doggy style position, in other words, you don't have a face to look at
  • [50:11] Mike: it. It's easy or two. What's not? Anthony not answered, Not non anthropomorphize. Its easier to, ah, displace
  • [50:13] Mike: the person. I mean, if you're not seeing their face
  • [50:38] Keith: like, I mean, I've seen there was a threat on Reddit a while back where it was like it was a nice phrase. She's she said, like, I'm worried that when we're in that position, he's I'm just a rear end she said. I'm just a rear end like any other rear end. And then everybody just a little tool. Yeah, everybody's like No, no, no, don't worry. He loves you. And of course, I was saying to myself, They're just lying. There is just completely lying. But that's not true. Like that exactly is she's got it right.
  • [50:41] Keith: And so that's why I wondered, like, are you
  • [50:44] Mike: one of the like less personal sexual positions?
  • [50:53] Keith: Yeah, absolutely. And so this is what I want to understand, like is that is it? Is it because of that your mind starts racing is because you have, like, no connection in that position? Or is it like you have no connection to any position?
  • [51:04] Mike: So this is this is a great question and I haven't really thought about it much or made like a you know, a study of when my mind wanders. Ah, but
  • [51:06] Mike: ah,
  • [51:10] Mike: I think this may be related to We've talked about this a little bit, But like
  • [51:17] Mike: when I masturbate, I often switch from one piece of material to another more often than I think the average Joe does.
  • [51:21] Keith: Like, let's s Oh, I don't know if we've actually sold. Told our listeners this how What is your average
  • [51:24] Keith: dwell time on a porn? Would you? How long?
  • [51:27] Mike: I don't know, but it is I It's
  • [51:31] Keith: low. Was it less than 30 seconds? Yes.
  • [51:31] Keith: Is less than five
  • [51:33] Mike: seconds. No.
  • [51:37] Mike: Well, I mean, I can tell with Dr Sanjay. This
  • [51:38] Mike: is gonna be useful.
  • [51:44] Mike: Yeah, okay. The comedian might be the right thing here and medium might be like five.
  • [52:06] Mike: Okay, five seconds. Medium. Well, you click on the video, you're hopeful, and then you know there's a lot of tools Now, when you when you get to like a porn video, there's a lot of tools to quickly evaluate whether you know it's what you're looking for. So, you know you can, you know, for started to get a big thumbnail image. And then if you mouse over the time line, you can see, like what happens in the video.
  • [52:16] Mike: Sometimes they'll be comments that, you know, maybe you can eliminate your opinion a little bit like you can get information quickly. Five seconds might be a little low, but, um,
  • [52:17] Mike: yeah, I think
  • [52:35] Keith: the same problem I have the same problem in reverse often be on you porn gay looking for a video to annoy someone else like, for example, a video of a guy getting a bunch of nuts sprayed in his mustache on. And the tools really help for that, too. Very quickly suss out whether the man has a mustache and then just look for the nut,
  • [52:40] Keith: you know, quickly. Okay, so So you think you think that like, let's say you're
  • [52:43] Keith: let's say you're in a position where you're face to face with a woman. You think like you,
  • [52:52] Keith: you tire of her face. You tire of your like, Look, I got I gotta click next here. I consciously, like, search for your track. Pad your
  • [52:58] Mike: mouth. No, that's not exactly right. It's It's It's subconscious. It's not like
  • [53:00] Mike: like I'm bored. This is This is lame. That's that's not
  • [53:04] Keith: what I was thinking. Why are you clicking my arm?
  • [53:07] Keith: Are you sliding your hand? Right click
  • [53:13] Mike: to be aroused. Like, do you mind if I just hold this mass, baby?
  • [53:15] Mike: Yeah, Yeah. I mean, look, I don't know.
  • [53:28] Mike: I'm just I'm just thinking out loud here, but yeah, like, I wonder if, like my brain, when aroused, uh, had the struggles to focus more than the average person's.
  • [53:32] Keith: Yeah. I mean, I think, like, I think, Okay, two things about this one is that
  • [53:44] Keith: actually, when you asked me originally initially, do you do this? The meeting I immediately went to in my head was totally different. Interestingly, which was I was thinking, OK,
  • [53:46] Keith: there are times
  • [53:47] Keith: when
  • [53:52] Keith: it's easier to nut than other times. Likely I can give an example. Let's say that you
  • [53:57] Keith: were unaware that you were going to have sex on a certain a certain time
  • [53:59] Mike: and what may have happened earlier.
  • [54:05] Keith: You mistimed your, uh, your porn exploration for that time period?
  • [54:06] Mike: Yeah.
  • [54:10] Mike: And masturbated earlier. You have multiple? Yeah.
  • [54:29] Keith: Yeah. I mean, let's say and, uh and so then it's like, Look, it's, you know, it's gonna take some amount of time. And so it's like you get into a position where it's it's almost like the conversation we had about faking it. You know? It's like that you're trying to get yourself over the hump. And I could imagine I think in that situation, I have actually done that. Where am I trying to
  • [54:31] Keith: finish?
  • [54:37] Keith: But you're actually talking about something which I think is more a little. I don't say this Sounds judgmental, A little more understandable. I think what
  • [54:37] Mike: you're describing
  • [54:48] Keith: is actually like, Not that you're you're into it. You're having a normal encounter with a woman you know isn't prejudiced by some sort of weird thing you did earlier that day. Yeah,
  • [54:53] Keith: and you're just like, Look, I got a picture. Jenna Jameson here for 23 seconds.
  • [54:59] Mike: I generally don't announce, uh, but you'll be great if you did.
  • [55:03] Mike: Yeah, it's somehow they could somehow No. God, you would
  • [55:12] Keith: be like that new Macintosh, the laptop they have that came out. That is a little, uh, touch bar on. It would be, like a little thing. A little icon on your head that tells. Oh,
  • [55:17] Mike: it's like a little preview image. Yeah. Way.
  • [55:30] Mike: Uh, yeah. I mean, huh? Do you think so? This doesn't happen every time. I mean, it's been an interesting conversation because I didn't think that this was unusual. I don't think it is unusually. Think you're lying a little bit, but not
  • [55:35] Mike: lying a lot. Like, I think it best. You're lying a little bit. And so yeah, maybe it is weird,
  • [55:36] Mike: um,
  • [55:40] Mike: to think about other people during sex.
  • [56:00] Keith: Yeah, I mean, ah, Well, no, I don't I don't think it necessarily is weird. I think that it likes suggest something about the encounter. Like the example I gave where it's like you're having trouble getting your nut out. Um, Or there could be other things that I would imagine. Like, maybe maybe you're angry with the person or something. So you're trying to imagine what I could imagine scenarios where that would happen.
  • [56:05] Keith: But the thing you're describing where it's like you almost have, like, sexual a d d
  • [56:14] Keith: where you're like. Look, I gotta flip the channel here, like I don't know why. Who knows if it's common or not, But I want to understand it better. Like, does it happen every time?
  • [56:18] Mike: I don't think so. No, it does not.
  • [56:21] Keith: Okay. And does it happen? More and more
  • [56:26] Mike: is thinking about another person during a sexual encounter. Yeah,
  • [56:29] Mike: on a micro level, it does.
  • [56:37] Keith: It probably happens. Not in the 1st 5 minutes, and not in the last five minutes. I'm guessing it's in sort of in the middle when it gets right. Yeah, sure. Yeah.
  • [56:43] Keith: So maybe you're getting a little bored. You're like I've been. I'm like, I'm up to thrust number 300 here.
  • [56:46] Keith: And, you know, you're just sort of Oh,
  • [56:46] Mike: I know
  • [56:51] Keith: when it might happen. Does it happen when you were trying to get her to an orgasm?
  • [56:53] Mike: Yeah.
  • [56:57] Mike: I don't know. I just don't know the answer questions. I haven't really ever
  • [56:58] Mike: introspective on this before.
  • [57:02] Keith: Okay, well, you can think about it and maybe come back to us for some answers.
  • [57:10] Mike: S so we have time for one more. Let's talk about the guy coming in his pants Just cause thats there isn't that much to discuss here.
  • [57:19] Mike: Okay, this is by I can't even pronounce his name. The subject is I made him come in his pants, and I feel bad, and I feel so bad. What should I do?
  • [57:37] Mike: Been seeing this really sweet, innocent, quiet guy, and he's been kind of slow to initiate. Things were making out on the couch, and I noticed through his shorts he was hard and joked around with him and said, Am I making you happy? He laughed. I usually just go for things. So I started slowly rubbing it through his shorts, asked him if he was asked him if he was okay, and he nodded.
  • [57:40] Mike: You know where they're, like, sort of, uh, consent.
  • [57:46] Mike: Yeah. You need consent for everything. Phase. Okay. We went back to making out, and I was still rubbing him
  • [57:58] Mike: a little bit later, I felt him tense up and he said quietly, Oh, no. He felt his shorts become warm and wet. I could tell he was really embarrassed. His face went red and he said, I'm so sorry. I told him it was fine and to stay there while I get a wet towel.
  • [58:06] Mike: I felt even worse because he ejaculated a lot in all caps. He cleaned himself up, apologize again. To which I assured him it was fine and he left.
  • [58:10] Mike: We usually get together every Friday and he canceled, saying he has something else for whatever
  • [58:15] Mike: I know he could have something else, but I've a feeling he's still embarrassed.
  • [58:18] Mike: 2.3000 up votes on this one, by the way,
  • [58:20] Keith: and they say how old he is readies like 19 or something.
  • [58:24] Mike: They don't want to say how old he is, but that's obviously
  • [58:25] Mike: the first place I
  • [58:27] Keith: go here.
  • [58:35] Keith: You know the first place I go. It's like I was trying to decide whether I found your reading of that arousing or not.
  • [58:36] Keith: You did probably Yeah.
  • [58:42] Keith: Now it was close, though, like I was like this. If it was a woman reading it, I think it would be.
  • [58:48] Mike: Did you think you'd like How did you feel? What what? I said. And he said quietly, Oh, no.
  • [58:52] Mike: Well, that part, that's like a
  • [58:54] Mike: Mormon.
  • [58:56] Mike: No.
  • [59:02] Mike: Uh so I mean, look at this sketch is a teenager, right? Like this happens.
  • [59:07] Keith: Ah, not to me. Did it ever happen to you?
  • [59:16] Mike: It's certainly happened during like, you know, you would do the thing where you're just grinding both with your pants on. Like it definitely happened then. But then that was intentional. Ah,
  • [59:19] Mike: have I ever wait? What?
  • [59:23] Mike: E added. Ah, girlfriend in high school
  • [59:30] Mike: who we were not sexually active with. But, you know, we were 17 18 or whatever, and,
  • [59:31] Mike: um
  • [59:37] Mike: yeah, you know what's in that we had there somewhere. It's like dry humping. Yeah, that's the word.
  • [59:38] Mike: Um,
  • [59:41] Mike: and I had to have achieved orgasm that way.
  • [59:49] Keith: So when that was happening, like, what was What was the rationale? Had she basically told you that if you pulled your cock out, she was gonna get mad?
  • [59:51] Keith: Um,
  • [59:52] Keith: you just pull it out.
  • [60:00] Mike: Well, we weren't. I think yet we weren't having sex, man. Like okay.
  • [60:04] Keith: No, you You are having sex because you're Nutting. Well,
  • [60:06] Keith: sure. I mean,
  • [60:08] Keith: listen, guys, like, if there's a
  • [60:17] Keith: young man listening to this podcast like, I think it's completely reasonable to least ask whether you can, like, not soil your underwear in your pants. Just look at
  • [60:34] Mike: you. You're saying you're not saying I should have pulled my dick out and tried to penetrate it with penetrate her with it. I should have just pulled it out just because it would be, uh, more comfortable than, like, the friction caused by underwear And, you know, probably pair of blue jeans and then her blue jeans and, you know, whatever.
  • [60:34] Mike: Yeah,
  • [60:39] Keith: And you also you could then nut in a way that's more sanitary
  • [60:41] Keith: and probably would feel better. I mean, like, how
  • [60:41] Mike: many
  • [60:47] Keith: times did you say that you have this? Ah, pants, pants, Nutting experience?
  • [60:53] Mike: I don't know, but a lot. Yeah. I mean, when I was a teenager, like, you know, orgasms were,
  • [60:56] Mike: ah, frequent
  • [60:57] Mike: frequently. I think I think that,
  • [61:05] Keith: like and this may have to do is the fact that I was very precocious at accessing online porn. Even in a pretty young age, like
  • [61:13] Keith: even like I don't think that I don't think I would have noted in that situation. I think I required terrific stimulation. Even like age
  • [61:27] Mike: 16. I think you'd be surprised how directional the how well applied the friction could be by to motivated parties. Even with clothes on.
  • [61:39] Keith: Yeah, I would be surprised. I I don't think I've ever experienced that. Because in all situations where I was in my life, even at that age, I was just I think, honestly, and this is like a
  • [61:44] Keith: I realize, sort of a consent thing here, but I think I would just take my pants off.
  • [61:45] Keith: Yeah,
  • [61:52] Mike: yeah. I mean, look, that obviously would have been my preferred mode as well. But presumably I'd gotten some negative feedback on along those lines,
  • [61:56] Keith: like actual. You think it's It's it's it's sickness is a long
  • [61:59] Mike: time ago. So, yeah, I hear you.
  • [62:10] Mike: I don't remember. I mean, I can't imagine that I was just, like, profoundly sexually frustrated and then him out making mention of it. Uh, although maybe who knows?
  • [62:18] Keith: No. Maybe because you might have figured like this is all I'm allowed to do. Like, you sort of you bought into, like the now with this with this girlfriend. Did you ever
  • [62:22] Keith: get beyond this? Or was it was this always your mode of execution?
  • [62:33] Mike: I think I had the dry humping experience with at least three people. Um wow, I think ends that it was the 1st 3
  • [62:40] Mike: that I was thinking about. Like if, like my parents ever listen to, this podcast will be able to piece together who I'm talking about here.
  • [62:43] Mike: That's pretty cool for them. Yeah,
  • [62:49] Mike: it's really great. Anyway, that will never listen. It doesn't matter, but, uh, yeah, I think the 1st 3
  • [62:58] Mike: girlfriends I had there was a period of time before which we were sexually active. But during which we were having
  • [63:00] Mike: orgasms together.
  • [63:07] Mike: Well, I have. No, no, I'm sure she wasn't. I'm not sure she was. I don't even remember. Maybe she was probably not
  • [63:08] Mike: right.
  • [63:09] Mike: Say even know what
  • [63:11] Keith: he was back then? Probably.
  • [63:13] Keith: Right. So you did this a lot.
  • [63:18] Keith: And you would what? Come to go home and wash your own clothes or whatever you would somehow.
  • [63:18] Keith: Well, you
  • [63:18] Mike: had
  • [63:22] Keith: a lot of weird is run. And not at that age didn't you
  • [63:40] Mike: know that I think about, uh I don't know what you're talking about, but, uh, I e just go. And you take your underwear off and put on a new pair and or, you know, maybe take your under shower and then put on a new pair.
  • [63:40] Mike: Yeah, I guess.
  • [63:46] Keith: I don't know. if I wishes more, I Well, look, I'm sure I was just more psychologically abusive
  • [63:54] Keith: and aggressive at that age, and I just Yeah, I was like, look insisted on some other mode of expression.
  • [63:57] Keith: I also honestly don't think that would have worked even if it had been determined. I
  • [64:01] Mike: don't I think I mean, I think you could have, but,
  • [64:14] Mike: you know, barring scheduling a let's go back to the nineties night with your wife. We're not gonna be able to settle this one. That's right. Also, like to simulate the experience you'd after not masturbate for, like, two months.
  • [64:16] Keith: Oh, nowadays, I'm sure I couldn't
  • [64:19] Mike: like city late. Like a similar amount of horny nous.
  • [64:29] Keith: I don't think it would work even then. I don't think I could get it. Get it out. Yeah, you know, but yeah. I mean, like, look, this this kid who had this happened, like, obviously, is embarrassing stuff like that. But I mean, like,
  • [64:31] Keith: look, I mean, I don't
  • [64:35] Keith: I don't really understand. Thea Thought process.
  • [64:37] Keith: I don't understand the whole well,
  • [64:42] Keith: I guess she was like, Look, I would maybe the woman's thinking of the girl in this questions thinking I would
  • [64:45] Keith: have facilitated it some other way.
  • [64:50] Keith: But, like, it's not like you can get an STD from, like, say, a hand job. So I don't really understand
  • [65:00] Keith: why one would draw the line there. It's like a weird place to draw the line. I could see saying, I'll only do a hand job, okay? And that's actually like you. You read the like.
  • [65:06] Keith: That's like a common line place for the line to be drawn in high school. Okay, I've read that repeatedly on Reddit,
  • [65:12] Keith: but this drawing the line even further back to like, No, I'm gonna force you to soil your pants.
  • [65:14] Keith: That seems strange.
  • [65:16] Mike: Yeah, I mean,
  • [65:29] Mike: she goes on in this thread, and she's She says she's down to blow him, and her plan was to do so. But there's no follow up, so we don't get to know. Ah, but yeah, I mean,
  • [65:33] Mike: listen, man, some women are sort of uncomfortable with penises early on,
  • [65:44] Mike: you know, especially when they're teenagers. And yet, like having clothes in between like, makes it safer or something. I don't know. Like I agree that, like, intellectually, it sort of doesn't make a lot of sense, but
  • [65:53] Keith: There's one other piece, and I bet this is true for you. Two's in high school. You as a man or a za boy were probably pretty reluctant to beat off in front of a girl, right?
  • [65:58] Keith: Yes, definitely. So there's that, too. Right? So, like,
  • [66:01] Keith: you could have had that be your operation. Like it's like, Look, you'll
  • [66:02] Keith: you know,
  • [66:05] Mike: he'll just said it yourself off exactly with
  • [66:10] Keith: that. Yeah, which would have worked fine. Well, I would rather do that than have it ill in my pants, to be honest, but the problem is
  • [66:13] Mike: that you have to get it. It's a mess. It's a mess. It's gross.
  • [66:14] Keith: Yeah.
  • [66:22] Keith: No, it's not. That's luckily in my life. I never had that happen. And I also never had a wet dream.
  • [66:23] Keith: What?
  • [66:24] Keith: Mr
  • [66:25] Keith: number once.
  • [66:32] Mike: Wow. Okay, listen, we got we've been going for over an hour, so we got a table that, but that is that's really interesting.
  • [66:38] Mike: Uh, what dreams. Especially if you could do lucid dreaming at all heart.
  • [66:42] Mike: Well, I imagine that's what virtual reality will be like someday.
  • [66:46] Keith: Well, it'll be like a flashlight with a you know. So
  • [67:03] Mike: anyway, all right, So, uh, that's a wrap on this fifth episode of your mileage may vary. You can contact us on Twitter at Y M M V pod, where are and or by email at Y M M v pod at gmail dot com. And please do contact us. We're looking for whatever feedback you make it.