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Episode 63: Wrong Hole! Trapped In The Dryer, Sex Rules, Tinder Life, Enjoying Your Own Nudes

Team YMMV | 4-21-2022 | 1:04:26

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Is it really possible for a guy not to realize he's going to penetrate the "wrong hole" when it happens? What is the allure of porns where a woman appears to be trapped (in a dryer, or even stuck in a wall or some other similar predicament)?

A woman enjoys pleasuring herself while looking at pictures of ... herself. How common is this? Could a man do it and have it work?

And, which gender has the harder time understanding the unique life experiences that the other gender has all to themselves? Is it easier for a woman to relate to men's relentless sex drives? Or is it easier for a man to understand cyclical hormones and having periods?

We looked at both a subreddit and a video this episode. Here are links to both:

https://ymmv.me/63/gloryho-sub

https://ymmv.me/63/gloryho-vid

We get a lot of our questions from the Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/63/breast-sex

https://ymmv.me/63/sex-rules

https://ymmv.me/63/swallow-reciprocity

https://ymmv.me/63/wrong-hole

https://ymmv.me/63/tinder

https://ymmv.me/63/own-nudes

https://ymmv.me/63/bad-sex-life

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with the perfect blend of forthrightness and humor. We have what I expect to be an entertaining show plan today including yet another examination of blowjob ethics this time with a look at how the ethics compare to tittyfucking.
  • [00:17] Mike: Who.
  • [00:18] Keith: Ah, conversation about inserting into the wrong hole a woman realizing online dating may not be all that great of an experience for men and more and Keith my co-host is Mike hello Mike I'm I'm well I'm still in the caribbean so it's pretty hard to not be well here.
  • [00:26] Mike: Hi Keith how are you doing? nice.
  • [00:36] Keith: We'll get started imminently but first please rate review and subscribe to the show though it may make you squirm initially tell your friends and family about us if they're cool. They'll surely thank you later mike do you want to add something to that.
  • [00:47] Mike: I do have something to add today. Ah, you know we have ah thanks to our listeners. We've been consistently gaining in the ratings and rankings here and what I mean by that is if you search for topics that we cover on our podcast now on like the Apple Podcast app we actually rank pretty well. But there's still some podcasts that rank above us and we you know we actually do take the time to listen to a lot of these other podcasts. Some of them are just like Literotica but a lot of ah actually most of them probably are but some of them are kind of covering similar territory. But. We found a lot of them disappointing and I think a lot of our listeners have too from the feedback we've gotten because a lot of them are very cautious. They're not very honest in a lot of cases about the topics. They cover some of them are but they're you know, usually so often slanted in a particular direction. A little less willing to bear it all psychological nudity that we. Pride ourselves for here at your mileage may vary and the other thing they do a lot of times is they'll be like a 30 minute episode and they have 10 minutes of ads I know you've encountered this a lot right? Keith.
  • [01:49] Keith: Yeah, if if you can stomach getting through the ads it quickly gets into regurgitating the same 5 predictable cultural tropes it's surprising they get so many listeners.
  • [01:58] Mike: Yes, so look. You know we we have some listeners that we know have come and found us after listening to some. And in this case I won't name them although I have no problem naming them but some of the ones that come up at the top of the list if you search for some of the topics. We discuss if you just search for sex or something like that and are refreshed by the fact they don't have to spend so much time listing to ads and there's a little more honesty and the response is a little more diversity of viewpoints or willingness to discuss kind of. Touchy subjects from us. But really yeah I mean in order if you want to hear more stuff like this ah consider sharing us with friends telling people about us because you know we don't We're not planning to make money from this Podcast. We're not going to Well we might you know if we. Some other but not through the podcast you know's we don't We. Don't want to delluge you with ads. We don't want to waste your time we want to get straight to this stuff which is why I don't want to talk for too long here. Um, and that's something that you could sort of have as commitment from us as opposed to these other guys who really are honestly just trying to sell you dilldos or whatever they're doing. We're not doing that. Ah and. We think because of that we should be the number one sex podcast and that's what we want to do and we don't want to have ads we want to be cool So Please Do you know if you have a friend you think might be interested a significant other or just like an online community and you're like hey this is a cool podcast better than shameless sex or whatever they're called please do consider. Sharing us out there and growing us. But I mean look we're We're really happy with all our listeners. We. We love our listeners and we have been growing quite a lot this year. So We're excited about that but just wanted to put that out there and that's it. Let's move on.
  • [03:34] Keith: Yeah, all right? So to that end you can follow us on Twitter at Ymmvpod or by email you you can send us questions or or feedback at http://ymmvpod at http://gmail.com but really.
  • [03:48] Mike: We are.
  • [03:50] Keith: Think I mean we don't know what grows podcasts but it's sort of a mystery to us we've we've tried various things but I think most of it's word of mouth.
  • [03:55] Mike: We do have ah also an email list if you go to http://wymemvpod.com you can sign up and right now we're just sending out basically notifications when a new podcast comes out but that list actually has a lot of people on it at this point so you can also join that way if you don't want to do ah.
  • [04:12] Keith: Twitter.
  • [04:14] Mike: But if yeah if you don't want to do social media or Twitter or Facebook or whatever. That's cool too.
  • [04:17] Keith: Yeah, all right enough of this dribble. Um I have some pattern to bring up but do you want to did you have something I think you did right.
  • [04:29] Mike: I Have I mean I basically just have like a subreddit with some kind of interesting content on it video and animated give content. So yeah I mean we can talk about that first I mean basically so you told me you do not know the trope which I am ashamed to say that I have encountered.
  • [04:36] Keith: Oh no interesting content.
  • [04:47] Mike: I think on I think on social media. Let's just say that shamefully the trope of a woman being stuck in a dryer or a washing machine. You've not encountered this key.
  • [04:57] Keith: How what wouldn't that just like immediately kill a person you mean like while it's running.
  • [05:01] Mike: Okay, well I mean it's unclear. No it wouldn't be running but basically let's imagine the following scenario. There's a woman in the house and she's reaching into the washing machine or dryer gets stuck and of course it's her upper half that's stuck and her lower half is protruding.
  • [05:12] Keith: Oh.
  • [05:17] Keith: A house.
  • [05:20] Mike: From the machine and then maybe well let's be honest, It's the internet. So it's probably her step brotherther stepfather someone like that that comes along and decides. Well I could rescue her or it's like it's like um, what's that game is a game where it's like do you fuck the person or do you, you know what? I'm talking about where it's like.
  • [05:25] Keith: Ah, right.
  • [05:35] Keith: Oh Mary Mary fuck kill
  • [05:39] Mike: Something like that. Well this one is like do a rescue rescue or fuck and of course in a porn. They're always going to fuck and um, you know you're not familiar with porns based on this theme.
  • [05:45] Keith: I have seen this I've I've seen several porns use this trope I've seen the one where like yeah, somebody's like stuck in the maybe the garbage disposal or something also also not on. But yeah, this thing where like the woman is stuck and the man has the opportunity to decide whether he wants to Rescue. Or ah penetrate.
  • [06:05] Mike: Right? And so I mean this is going to be ah obviously in a ah porn context. It's going to be. You know the the not rescuing is is the compelling one and so. I was on Nsf W 4 one one the other day which is a subreddit for like people looking for new pornographic experiences and I encountered this person asking for ah not just glory holes which you know I sometimes talk about but this is ah the guy wanted a glory hole where the woman is track like like.
  • [06:21] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [06:40] Mike: I guess bricked up in the wall. Ah so like he's actually stuck in there and so somebody suggested the suburb at glory ho so it's like hull but without the l and e so http://reddit.com/r/glorygloryho and we'll put a yes, it does. We'll put a link to the um.
  • [06:40] Keith: Um, while.
  • [06:50] Keith: This exists.
  • [06:58] Mike: That subreddit in the show notes. So people can click on it if they don't they can't type or whatever a lot of it's animated. Um, you could sort of look at it I mean there's some Ah, that's I would say just more traditional glory hole stuff. Ah like there's a title here called breed me through the wall that I would just call a glory hole. But then. And some of it is like cartoons where it's like. For example, there's a cartoon picture I'm seeing here where it's a woman. What actually? yeah I mean it's just bizarre right? It's like a tiled wall where the woman's body is just sort of stuck in the in the wall um tiled so it's not even realistic, right? The tile would be cutting her sides and so Forth. Um.
  • [07:34] Keith: Right.
  • [07:37] Mike: But the notion that like this woman is actually trapped in the wall and it's sort of public use. There are videos too where people like there's one that I'm seeing here that looks like a ah I mean they basically built a wall around the woman they put sort of rubber around her I think to protect her but she sort of trapped in there. Do you find this compelling it all cute.
  • [07:53] Keith: Um, is this is there something materially different here from glory holes like is there like is there some itch that's different. That's being scratched by this subreddit. Ah.
  • [08:04] Mike: Let me? yeah I'm going to paste you one link which we will of course put in the show notes for ah listeners. Do you do you see that link Keith so this is a woman who is maybe this will give an idea this is a woman who it's 2 women actually and they appear to be like yeah they're hermetically sealed within a wall.
  • [08:11] Keith: Ah, yeah I got it all right here I go pair of women.
  • [08:22] Mike: I mean I think it's I mean it remember it reminds me a little bit of like the videos I've seen where like there's a woman inside like some kind of a vinyl. What looks like a mattress or like a sheet that's like all the way around her and then you suck the air out with ah Um. Vacuum cleaner some type of device. So Then she's like completely trapped, right? She can't even she's immobile and of course you have a hole for her Mouth. So She can breathe I think that's like kind of the itch there is like the guy is like oh I can do whatever I want She can't stop me and then of course for the woman. It would be the opposite. Ah yeah.
  • [08:49] Keith: Um, yeah, this is. There's some sort of combination of free use and glory hole like the animidity aspect of Glory Hall this video of course is showing their faces. But yeah, this is huh I was I was not aware of this.
  • [09:04] Mike: Would you rather see the face or not.
  • [09:09] Keith: Yes, but in this situation where I'm using a glory hold. Yes I would ghastly prefer to see the face and how do you know? Oh well. Okay, if a bunt if a vagina is up against the wall. Sure Churchill.
  • [09:15] Mike: Is that be good. But I mean if you you know it's a female ah because you can look at the anatomy although to be fair and I want to be welcoming to our woke and trans positive. As we are listeners. You know we don't know their gender. We only know their Cis gender is that what is that the right word we know their body parts but they could identify as the other gender but seeing their face might not tell you that either but you would like to see their face just because you want some connection right? Okay I'm not sure.
  • [09:35] Keith: Um, ah.
  • [09:45] Keith: Um, yes, yes.
  • [09:49] Mike: Have to think about this but I think it's possible that I would find compelling the situation where you could not see their face and it was just the disembodied body parts I have to think about that hard to get consent hard to get consent in that situation.
  • [09:57] Keith: Um, I mean I think yeah I mean let's let's ignore that part just for the sake of this conversation because yeah, that's obvious. But yeah, like assuming that you can presume consent.
  • [10:07] Mike: Sure.
  • [10:15] Keith: I think I I too can imagine a situation where I would rather not see the face.
  • [10:18] Mike: Because they're in a track I'm thinking like from a titillation standpoint of like I don't know like I could just see it being. It's like ah your take. Yeah, it's like you're look I mean I think deep down in that like yeah, it's more dominant. It's more dominant. Yeah right.
  • [10:30] Keith: It's more. It's more dominating. It's That's right? Yes, we've we arrived at that simultaneously huh.
  • [10:38] Mike: Ah, and there's something. Yeah, it's something sort of interesting I don't know. Yeah, it's like it's like ah there's something that brings to mind in my imagination and this is just a terrible image but like you imagine like in a stadium where there's like a set of urinals in a row right? and this is a thing you see like there's like 10 you could imagine those being women's butts. Like somehow that's like compelling to the male imagination of course to a woman. It's disgusting probably it's like oh that's the worst thing that could ever happen. Maybe not I don't think they want to be 1 of those people. Yeah.
  • [11:01] Keith: Um, yeah yeah I mean I guess we should move on but not being able to see the face opens things up to I mean there's lots of like people women who have like incredible bodies but aren't the prettiest. Socalled butter faces right? like this would open up career ah opportunities for those sorts of folks anyway, let's move on. Um I was walking with Alyssa the other day and I was thinking about how strange it is that women once a month have to go through this.
  • [11:23] Mike: Sure yes.
  • [11:38] Keith: Experience of having a period and they have these hormones and biochemicals that get released that cause them to have a materially different sort of experience of being a person during during that time sort of. Pms and then during the period itself and then I was wondering. Okay, what do you think is harder for the other sex to relate to males relating to the the emotional and mental experience of women having a period or females trying to relate to the male experience of having just. Testosterone fueled sex drive at basically all moments of their life. Ah.
  • [12:18] Mike: Can I ask a question really quick on that. So I know that Alyssa's very well versed. She has worked in the medical medical field and she's well versed in all matters Anatomy and physiology. Ah. Yeah, but so I've read various things that suggest that women actually don't have to have a period that you can use birth control in such a way to basically eliminate your period. But how come she even chooses to have one. Do you know that? okay.
  • [12:40] Keith: Um, yeah, we talked about this actually deciding whether I think she would mind if I discuss.
  • [12:48] Mike: Well maybe you could talk about it in general instead of specific to her like the K I mean or or if there's something hyper specific. Maybe you shouldn't what sure.
  • [12:52] Keith: Sure yeah actually yeah I can talk about what the conversation evolved rather than like what she sort of decided which was like you know like I don't want to take antidepressants because I feel like it's a crutch that I don't want to depend on and I also feel like. Sort of the the perturbations in my mood that the ups and downs make me a more interesting person and sort of fuel. Some of my more positive attributes about myself and so I don't want to take Ssris or benzos for that reason and we were talking about.
  • [13:26] Mike: And yeah, you do take you do use alcohol but go on.
  • [13:28] Keith: The way that very I do I do? um but and I yeah I feel like that's a good thing to bring up like I I take things that like intentionally alter my mind state. But yeah, there's something about antidepressants that feels more I don't know even though it's a more subtle effect. It feels like a more.
  • [13:48] Mike: Sharp.
  • [13:48] Keith: Weighty decision. Anyway, we were talking about how various birth controls can smooth out your your hormones and lots of women don't have periods at all. So right, you get you get rid of the the cramps you get rid of the bleeding. Ah and you get rid of some of the ups and downs of emotionality.
  • [13:58] Mike: Right.
  • [14:06] Mike: Yeah, and I don't want to I don't want to be too educational here. We be ah we can be a little educational but ah everything that I've read suggests that there is no should of course get consult with your doctor but that there's no actual doubt physical down. There's no known reason why women need to have periods but go on.
  • [14:08] Keith: Um.
  • [14:21] Keith: Right? That came up during the conversation. There are various side effects that can come from messing with the hormones in your body Some women put on weight some women lose weight some women develop skin issues.
  • [14:31] Mike: Sure.
  • [14:37] Keith: There are birth controls I know there are birth controls that specialize in clearing up skin issues I don't know if they somehow dry out your skin or affect your oil production or something but um, yeah, so yeah, we had this conversation around you know the various positives and negatives of of taking birth control.
  • [14:44] Mike: Sure.
  • [14:56] Keith: And yeah, she's she's made the decision she went Oh the other nice thing about being on birth control is you can have condomless sex without ah as much concern.
  • [15:04] Mike: Well, of course I mean there are other forms of birth control like iuds and so forth. But yeah, there are other choices. But yeah I'm specifically interested in this topic and I think I think there's an element of like lack of education and some people have lots of information and make different choices. But I think I wager that more than 75% of women don't know. That there's no physical physiological need to have a period and they that like it's not. You know they might have in their head like oh I'm Going. It's going to give me uterine cancer or something if I choose not to have periods but actually like my understanding and of course people should check with their doctor. Don't take it from ah the your mileage may vary podcast which ah, but.
  • [15:32] Keith: Right? yeah. Your file which may indeed vary.
  • [15:43] Mike: Yeah, that's right? but ah my understanding from my reading on this is that that and I'm sure your your brother in law will correct me if if there's something wrong here, but ah, no.
  • [15:49] Keith: Um, yeah I mean I think there's there's a lot of huoo around various health things. But in particular women's health things right? like I think a lot of the anti-vax stuff started with concerned mothers. You know when the misinformation folks are sort of exploiting women's.
  • [15:56] Mike: Yes.
  • [16:07] Keith: Extreme concern over over their children's health. There's lots of confusion about epidurals right? like a lot of there's like this huge increase in the United States at least of people wanting to do like bathtub births because I think they've been convinced that that's substantially better in some way and yeah, so go ahead.
  • [16:22] Mike: My wife actually my wife actually did not have epidurals but that's just because she likes biting wood things to overcome pain. Yeah I'll tell you I'll tell you that the thing I would say to any women are small number but not but growing number of female listeners is ah.
  • [16:29] Keith: Figure he got ways to maximize her pain.
  • [16:41] Mike: There's this moment during childbirth you know there's a you probably don't know this Keith but like you you can't have the epidural after a certain point like that they won't give it to you exactly and here's here's so here's the here's the and we should get back to the question here. But here's the ah emotion chart of this like oh I don't want an epidural. It's fine I'm going to do this.
  • [16:50] Keith: There's a point of no return. Yes, yeah.
  • [17:01] Mike: Then you pass that point of no return and you're still like oh it's fine and then there's this moment when they're like they like I screwed up and and definitely both Ah for both of our kids that moment was reaching Afterwardd I Mean there's a certain amount of amnesia and like oh I was fine.
  • [17:07] Keith: Right? Five eight the nor mistake.
  • [17:18] Mike: Ah, but like I remember that moment for both childbirths that it was like clear that. Ah, maybe that wasn't the best decision. So I think I would recommend an epidural in my amateur wisdom but we should get back to this question of which is better. Ah, which is weirder for the other gender to understand. Yeah.
  • [17:21] Keith: Um, right.
  • [17:27] Keith: Um, right? Well what? what's harder to relate to right? like I feel like I can imagine the experience of of having increased emotionality. There have been times in my life when I'm more irritable or more emotional but they don't They don't last long right? like I.
  • [17:40] Mike: Sure.
  • [17:46] Keith: This this notion that I would be strongly affected by different brain chemistry for a week every month just sounds pretty awful.
  • [17:52] Mike: Well I can give you so I had an experience in odd experience as you know I lived in France for a year and this was an odd experience we were in Paris where it was still wintry and we traveled to the south of France for about a week in April and I immediately. Immediately became like super super depressed and ah felt terrible just like ah just really like to stand or like a depressive thought so we went back to Paris and I felt fine immediately and I concluded afterward and I sort of thought back to experiences in my life and I do think it was due to something like weather related or some kind of ah. Yeah I mean basically like some pollen in the air mean there's something that like made that changed my mood so I can relate to that in some sense like and and what I've experienced is that women I think are better than men at looking at their environmental and environmental factors and realizing I'll put it this way I think that it in some ways I think it helps women to understand.
  • [18:32] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [18:49] Mike: Women are better than men at understanding that like their mental state can be connected to just the fact that their body is actually just a machine whereas men I think because we have that we're kind of more disconnected. We kind of are more likely to think or I at least in periods of my life is more likely to think oh my my mind is sort of detached from the physicalities of my body like. Should be able like the kind of like the thing you said like oh I want to you know I want to ah like kind of running away or not avoiding the notion that like your body is just a collection of chemicals whereas I think I think it actually helps women to be more in touch with that and and I mentioned you because of the thing you said about like Ssris and stuff like yeah yeah, so I think it can actually be useful for them because they can.
  • [19:19] Keith: Um, no I understand hung. Okay.
  • [19:27] Mike: Helps them see that direct connection and then they're more I suspect that makes it easier for women to deal with adverse moods because they're like they're much more likely to come up with the correct solution which is like oh this is just environmental. Oh This is just some pollen in the air that's making me feel depressed. It's just weird and that in fact, was right like I got back to where it was cold again and bam it was gone. I Mean like immediately it was really odd clearly environmental like there was clearly not you know something negative did not Happen. It was just environmental very strange experience. Yeah.
  • [19:48] Keith: Huh yeah.
  • [19:55] Keith: That's weird. Yeah I don't know if I've ever gone through like I mean I've you know I've gone someplace and suddenly my allergies flare up or something but you're describing something different. Sure Sure sure.
  • [20:00] Mike: Yeah, but those things can all be connected to mood and and emotions and stuff in weird ways. So ah I do think like so if I had to guess for your question here I would guess that it's harder for women to understand the male experience. Um, that being said I mean women do occasionally have the sort of like aggressive you know wanting.
  • [20:17] Keith: To mate. Yes.
  • [20:19] Mike: Sex from a partner kind of experience and then there's the thing I think I've mentioned before on this podcast which ah people should look up. It's an interest there. There are histories or stories by folks who are transitioning from female to male about what it's like to start taking testosterone and that's very discomfiting for women.
  • [20:34] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [20:36] Mike: Because it's like they've never in their life experienced that level of like kind of pressure like I got to get out there and get sex. You know.
  • [20:38] Keith: Right? Yes, yeah, no I've I've read some studies about that and they're they're fascinating and it's exactly what I would expect like I think the male experience of just constantly vetting everything for sexual viability is a little bit foreign to women. And this notion of constant I don't know Micro rejections every day is would be a little bit of its or maybe a lot bit of a strange experience for for many women who aren't you know taking a who aren't considering it.
  • [21:15] Mike: You just I want to say 1 more thing on that that reminds me of ah a a little very short thing that I concern that I've had about as you know there's this. Ah great political debate over the don't case. Don't say gay bill which.
  • [21:17] Keith: But I'm not sure. Yeah, listen now we talking about it. So I I would bring it up.
  • [21:31] Keith: Um, yes.
  • [21:34] Mike: Doesn't doesn't exactly prohibit people from saying the word gay it prohibits teaching about gay and trans issues to kids that are under ah below third grade because the belief is maybe that should be done in the family I don't have a strong opinion either way on that I don't have enough data. But 1 thing that I think is an interesting thing to think about is that um. There is a certain the the move toward teaching about gender fluidity and viewing people as more gender fluid. Actually I think is a little bit ah difficult or harmful to more traditional heterosexual males because of how important gendering is to us. So.
  • [22:06] Keith: Um, ah.
  • [22:08] Mike: Heterosexual males do sit around gendering everything and so when you say well you know nothing has a specific gender. Everything's fluid. It's actually very it could be I for me, it's confusing and I imagine for say a 13 year old boy. It's very confusing because yeah, thirteen year old boys. Yeah run around. It's like it's like being an animal you look around. You're like oh that's female. That's male. That's female part of our brains is wanting. Trying to figure out what we can have sex with productively and so when you say oh well, that's there's no such thing as gender. It's very confusing for somebody who has this part of their brain that really cares a lot about gender and I just think that's something people should consider. It's like you're you're benefiting 1 group of people but you have to consider.
  • [22:27] Keith: Right? right.
  • [22:44] Mike: Yeah, how do you do that without you know, causing problems for the other group of people.
  • [22:46] Keith: Yeah, yeah I don't have a strong opinion on that legislation specifically other than that I am sure the motivations on both sides are not very honest and you might make an argument that the right is worse than the left. But yeah.
  • [22:54] Mike: Sure.
  • [23:04] Keith: Neither side is being. Both sides are disingenuous right? Yeah, the right thing is to look at the data and figure out what has the best results All right? Let's move on. Um, so I promised we would talk about.
  • [23:05] Mike: Right? It's tricky and it's an issue that it's not right. It's a kind of a new issue. So it's hard to know exactly where what's right? yeah.
  • [23:17] Mike: Course.
  • [23:22] Mike: Yes.
  • [23:22] Keith: Flow job ethics again. We talk about this a lot on this show. There's sort of 3 Reddit posts here that skirt around the same issue and I'm not sure if I should read them all that it wants I think that'll be sort of boring but ah.
  • [23:37] Mike: Maybe read one as a representative sample.
  • [23:42] Keith: Well let's start with one here. So um, this one's short. This guy says do guys actually fuck titties or is it justed porn if you're wondering yes I'm a virgin just wondering I've never given it thought until I realized and I'm turning eighteen in a couple of months and technically I can come out of my shell more? ah.
  • [23:56] Mike: Okay.
  • [24:01] Keith: I can imagine women not enjoying titty fucking right? like it's just sort of they're they're being used as an apparatus as ah as a jungle gym.
  • [24:10] Mike: Oh I Just think it's boring I Just think it's boring for the woman like like in the same way like let's say if you were fucking between her butt cheeks. It just boring like there's not you know that's the problem right? No I'm lost.
  • [24:20] Keith: Okay, do you know where I'm going to go with this. How is that different from a blowjob.
  • [24:28] Mike: Oh you? Well this is like ah when I take when you take a lesson why don't you try to answer that question. Keith yeah.
  • [24:34] Keith: Okay, fine here's what you're going to say you're going to say giving a blowjob is more submissive they can feel the pleasure. The man is receiving is receiving and that makes it compelling.
  • [24:44] Mike: Yeah, what they do matters like they have a body part that actually like your tongue is like this pretty ah capable body part of like doing something like your your breasts are like I mean I think your butt cheek like is the butt cheeks is something a guy has like imagine let's say a woman had a strap on and her big fetish was to.
  • [25:03] Keith: Um, yeah of slight between. Ah.
  • [25:03] Mike: Penetrate between your butt shakes just not. You know, just go between Them. You'd be like kind of hotd dog in you. Yeah, you'd be like well this is really boring whereas at least you could intellectualize like if it was she wanted to lick it. Okay, she's not getting any pleasure from that because it's a strap on but like I'm trying to stay away from like actually having a gay experience here. But like. You can see why like there's just way more that could happen with your mouth and then yeah, also like there's way more receptors right? So you you feel what's going on in a way. That's yeah I mean it's just way more interactive and and you could say Well how is it different from a vagina. Well the vagina like the woman gets direct pleasure from so that's you know? yeah.
  • [25:23] Keith: Okay.
  • [25:35] Keith: Yeah, yeah, you know, okay all right in the interests of expediency. Let let me move on to the next one here all right? This person says my girlfriend's highly rational rules approach to sex means I'm never getting a blowjub. My girlfriend is a very rational person. We have a rational rules approach to sex.
  • [25:40] Mike: Okay.
  • [25:49] Mike: Yes.
  • [25:52] Keith: Sounds like this guy's been well gaslight by his girlfriend. Um, for example, we only do things that we both like and we both get pleasure from. For example, we have PIV sex because we both get off from that I also eat her pussy and ass because she and I both get pleasure from that he has in parentheses I enjoy eating.
  • [26:09] Mike: Yes, no need. Yeah.
  • [26:09] Keith: Talked about this last episode if anybody wants to hear our opinions on that she thinks this is super grown up and rational and enlightened I can kind of see where she's coming from but but it means I don't get a blowjob. It will never get a blowjob. She doesn't even dislike doing them or have a moral problem with them. She just says she doesn't get any significant pleasure from it so we shouldn't do it. Obviously this makes me really sad to think I'm never getting a blowjob but I can appreciate her rationality am I being the assle for being upset that I'm never getting a blow jump.
  • [26:35] Mike: She It's not that I mean it's not that That's not the the core. What is it the root cause here is not that he's never getting a blow the root cause is that she's like she attended some debate seminar at some point in her life where she learned how to she's like a lawyer pre-law or something she's figured out this very clever way to win. Ah, in the short term. But yeah I mean like no, she's she's being an idiot because she's like she's misunderstanding how this works.
  • [27:01] Keith: Are there Good reasons that women would decline all ever giving a blow job to their partner.
  • [27:10] Mike: Sure I mean like they are there. Oh. It's always a mistake.. It's always a mistake to decline ever because like yeah, it's um, it's always a mistake if the guy didn't like them like you You say you don't like them so fine. That's a legitimate reason. But if the guy wants it Like. You're just yeah, you're putting at risk your relationship and it would behoove you to like figure out some mental framing where you can find something compelling about it.
  • [27:37] Keith: Okay I agree with you in spirit I mean there are other edge cases like you know I don't know she was sexually abused in the mouth when she was young or yeah, there are reasons but even in that case like yeah her partner is going to be long term disappointed and resentful. Eventually, even if he's you know, even if he can but you know emotionally understand what he's going through. Okay, let me read this third one here. Um girlfriend said she'll only swallow if I swallow a bit too L Lol. My girlfriend is not to be let me read patience.
  • [28:01] Mike: Alright.
  • [28:07] Mike: Every time. Yeah.
  • [28:14] Keith: My Girlfriend is not the biggest fan of facials or swallowing but she does love it when I come in her she does let me give facials here and there in which I really appreciate a lot as I know she's not the biggest fan of why is this word salad here. So All he he gives her facials from time to time. She's also swallowed a couple times has told me that my baby batter is very sweet that she doesn't like the consistency of it and that's the main reason she avoids it. She told me that she she would swallow it if I swallow a bit too and I told her that I would prefer it if we make out with some of it between us.
  • [28:33] Mike: Jesus.
  • [28:48] Keith: And she seemed excited of the idea L Lol I thought it was a joke at first but she was actually serious I eat her out sometimes after I finish in her and she absolutely loves it So I've tasted it by accident before and it did have a very sweet taste to it. What would you all? do I know it's my own calm and all that.
  • [28:49] Mike: Big mistake.
  • [29:04] Keith: But I've never purposely put it in my mouth in order to taste it. But I think it sounds like an interesting idea. Ah the first comment mentions that super sweet sperm can be a sign of diabetes. So ah, that's a thing I suppose.
  • [29:18] Mike: I Think it's sweet urine actually but gone.
  • [29:22] Keith: Um I don't I don't okay for our newer listeners. They may not be familiar with I have never tasted my own seaman myself even in edge cases like this like kissing someone after they've they've gone down on me or you know eating someone out after.
  • [29:28] Mike: Now lord.
  • [29:41] Keith: I've orgasm inside of them I have been assiduously careful my entire life to avoid that. So ah I don't this this notion of like an eye for an eye I don't think it's the right way to approach sexual requests.
  • [29:59] Mike: The law of tallon. Yeah, ah I ah so yes and I know this is like all an entree to me telling my my experience to ah so I agree with the general notion of ah it's it's not. Look if you like it as a guy fine do. Whatever and there are like videos you see where guys clearly like it and that's fine like they should do whatever they want I think the vast majority of guys don't and the key there is like yeah you don't want to set the ah sort of standard that you're going to do some of the activities. This guy's mentioning. You know, go down after afterward. You know, go to? yeah like basically kissing a lot after a blow like these sorts of things like are not things I think most guys want to do however however I like a some large percentage of men and I remain skeptical of Keith's claim here have when ah very young or relative of pretty young. Ah, sampled my own semen by all by myself in sort of a scientific fashion I did do that because I think like it's only natural to be curious about that and it was fine. Ah it was fine.
  • [31:03] Keith: Um, it was it tasted fine.
  • [31:06] Mike: I mean it was it like no, it's not like I mean it's exactly what you would like read describe like like I think that look look I think that as other than I mean there are people who claim there are women who who claim to have some kind of a like nausea or some physical reaction. Of course they can't control that like nobody's going to go after them for that. But I think that. In most cases women are kind of being babies if they get upset about this Ah yeah, it's not like something you would want to eat all the time or something but it's not that big of a deal that being said I'm just myself I'm a pretty clean living person. So you know, maybe there are other guys where it's just revolting and or maybe certain times. It's revolting in the. Like 2 times I did this and I didn't like like I just tried a little bit of it I didn't like ah put it in a shot glass and drink it or something. Ah, you know I found it like benign but that doesn't mean you know I realize there's a multiplicity of experiences so you know, but but I so my recommendation to this guy would be.
  • [31:45] Keith: Right.
  • [31:55] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [32:01] Mike: Do the scientific thing. Don't like set a standard that in your relationship you're going to have to constantly every time you nut you're gonna have to be like getting involved with the nut because I think you will start to. You're gonna start with not wanting to not have sex with her. Basically.
  • [32:11] Keith: Yeah I mean look if there was some sort of emerging trend where more and more of the time when I orgasmed I was having to eat it in some you know in some way either kissing her or I mean he says what it would. What's his vocabulary tasting it a little ah like it just yeah, don't don't do it man figure out some some other ah debate technique to convince her that.
  • [32:40] Mike: Right? And I mean it's this is just like I mean there are things both genders wind up doing to mentally to kind of offer What the other gender wants and like this is yes this is a primary one that women kind of have to figure out is how do I. Tolerate or even enjoy or just sort of come to terms with this reality of Male Anatomy. So.
  • [33:01] Keith: Yeah I mean I think there's a there's an analog for for men too. Of course like they ah should figure out a way to tolerate going down on their partners. So it's it's not this isn't an asymmetrical piece of advice all right next topic.
  • [33:17] Mike: Agreed. Okay.
  • [33:20] Keith: Has a guy ever missed put it in your wrong hole quote unquote accidentally so this happened to me 28 year old female and I read about it on another post. So I was wondering if it was a common experience. Essentially you'll be having sex with a guy and his cock will slip out but as he goes to put it back in he will instead put it in your butt and when you ask him what he's doing he'll apologize and say it was an accident. Kind of like sorry wrong hole. Well I think the answer to this is generally no. You can you can have bad aim but penetrating the butthole is not a especially ah an un.
  • [33:40] Mike: Yeah.
  • [33:58] Keith: Is the word distended is that the right word an unprepared asshole is is not.
  • [34:01] Mike: So that's not totally. That's not totally right I know from doing ah yoga that um there are certain positions that you can get your body into where like as as a man as a man who does not you know the exit only experience. Not.
  • [34:06] Keith: Um, yes. He has.
  • [34:17] Mike: Nothing against people that really that like pegging or homosexual activity. It's not that at all. It's just that I happen to not do that. But um, yeah, there's certain positions where your butthole definitely opens up right? I mean I'm sure you've experienced this so well I mean and I've noticed in. For example, when you're watching porn. It's like of course the porn star might have.
  • [34:28] Keith: Um, yes, but.
  • [34:37] Mike: Just done something anally but I mean sometimes particularly in kind of doggie style or kind of no no, it would be doggie style where like her knees are kind of closer to her stomach.
  • [34:40] Keith: Yeah, okay, let's go through it So like a missionary I think no, not really ah woman on top. Yeah Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl if it no not really maybe maybe reverse cowgirl. Yeah.
  • [34:54] Mike: It's doggy style. It's doggy. It's the dogie style where her knees are kind of close to her stomach and she's kind of relaxed down there and that is a position where I think you absolutely could have this happen.
  • [35:03] Keith: What in the dark I mean you can see.
  • [35:09] Mike: It's just purely. It's just it's just purely the notion. All I was responding to is the question of whether you could ah fully penetrate like in 1 stroke without it being like this crazy thing that happens you're lubricated from the piv experience and then you um. Yeah, you can just drive straight in now and in terms of like not seeing what's going on I mean I don't know like that seems possible that you that it comes all the way out and then you're like yeah I mean it just takes like a very slight ah movement of your hips to put it in the wrong place. But.
  • [35:39] Keith: Okay, what do you think of this commenter's claim car sex woman on top little too enthusiastic comes up just too high slams back down on asshole happen to 3 different partners with me pretty much same way every time full insertion all at once not like porno very unhappy with selves at time.
  • [35:56] Mike: Is this the woman or the man who's saying that. So I mean a man who has car sex with 3 different partners like this I have to think it's a prostitute right.
  • [35:59] Keith: I Think this is a man It is a man.
  • [36:09] Keith: Perhaps think I know where you're going with this but please go please continue like ah yeah, why is he having so much car sexs. Yeah.
  • [36:12] Mike: Well no, it's not no, It's just that It's just that it's I Well I would just you know it's yes Dogie style car. But sure I mean like that's right there you go like I could totally see that happening and you're in a position where it's kind of relaxed and like I don't I think the position you're trying to. Defend here is like the guy is doing it on purpose and I don't think that's right right.
  • [36:31] Keith: Um, well okay, some percentage of the time. It's obviously on purpose we can haggle around what percentage that is surely when a guy surprises his partner with anal sex. This would be probably the number one excuse. Oh oops. Sorry.
  • [36:45] Mike: I don't I think it's I don't agree with that I think that like I think that actually both I think that ah I think that a very low percentage of the time would a guy surprise a woman with like a full and full anal insertion like that because he's not unless he's.
  • [36:50] Keith: With what which which which part don't you agree with.
  • [37:04] Mike: Pretty Dumb. He's going to know that that will basically terminate this X session and so he's basically not going to get to have the pib orgasm that he wants and like you know I don't know how like if okay if a guy is in the middle if you if a guy just sort of random guy was in the middle of fucking in the dog enjoying it. Okay. You think about how much money you would have to pay a guy to get him to stop right? then? Okay, if if ah if if it was if it was during the date and he thought he was going to have sex you might have to pay him some number of dollars like say $50 and okay abandon the date like whatever. Okay, you know now he's in the he's got his the girl in his apartment.
  • [37:24] Keith: Right? right.
  • [37:39] Mike: And how much would you have to pay him to just tell her to leave you know, maybe $100 well if he's actually penetrating or he's got a full- on hard erection and he's driving toward orgasm you'd have to pay him a fair amount of money. So so this is like the highest value moment for the guy he doesn't want to do something maybe maybe $500 to get him to say okay, fine I'll just go beat off in the corner and she'll leave so. Ah, unlikely that he wants to risk that and then on the other side. Ah I don't think that's how if a guy wants to sort of insinuate anal sex. That's not how he's going to do it the way he's going to do it in my view is he's just going to start like he's going to take it out and he's going to sort of gently start putting in her butt hoping she won't complain but he's going to do something where he could back away from it. And go back to the vagina because he doesn't want to like he doesn't want to like risk the optionality of his nut right.
  • [38:21] Keith: Okay, okay I'm picking up what you're putting down but I'm not sure I Still think that immature men might yeah they might just be bad at insinuating toward that hole and be a little bit ham fisted about it and then in retrospect say like oh sorry.
  • [38:37] Mike: It's possible.
  • [38:40] Keith: That was a mistake.
  • [38:41] Mike: I Think it's less I think it's uncon. It's unlikely that a guy would do that because it's just but is sure a hamphied like there's a lot of weird behaviors now.
  • [38:46] Keith: I understand I understand your your argument there. Your argument was was a compelling one. Okay, next Tinder is horrible for women too this this this woman writes. Well I so I thought that this was going to be a ah but but a new ah I thought this was going to go one way and it goes the other.
  • [38:55] Mike: Um, you don't stay.
  • [39:05] Keith: Just quit tinder after a little over a month I found it overwhelming and emotionally exhausting I was looking for some lighthearted fun and instead I felt like a therapist I don't have height requirements. So I get a lot of matches that haven't matched with anyone in a long time. It doesn't always work out more often than not sometimes during the chat sometimes in person and rejecting them is excruciating. Try to be respectful and kind but it takes so much energy out of me I've been crying the past few days every day because I read the posts here and I know how excited guys get when they match and what a letdown it is when it ends before it even begins I can't handle it anymore. I wish all of you the best and that you will find what you're looking for I'll stay home like the spinster I am watching Netflix and chilling with my cats.
  • [39:42] Mike: What sub is this from or is this a question. We got just okay, it's do okay gone.
  • [39:45] Keith: So ah, it's the tinter subreddit. It's the tinder subredit which is a pretty good subredit. It's mostly people trying to get karma for saying outrageous things to their matches and there's some pretty funny stuff but occasionally you get sort of mildly interesting conversations like this one. So.
  • [39:56] Mike: Okay, okay.
  • [40:04] Keith: And think what she's referring to is. There's this sort of common theme on the tinder subreddit where men talk about like look you know they'll swipe yes on 100 people and if they're lucky, they'll get 1 or 2 matches and then they'll message that person and if they're lucky they'll respond and but the response will almost always be perfunctory something like hey. Or lol to you know whatever you say and so men feel like they have to make all this investment in swiping and then like trying to craft something witty and they almost never get any payback and then you know the female experiences of course every single person they swipe on it depends but you know some large percentage of people they swipe on. Ah, have already swiped yes on them and then they get this deluge of of interest that that seems almost fake to them because they're getting the same amount of interest from everyone. So. There's this asymmetry and experience. But I thought her recognition of how awful the male experience can be was sort of Interesting.
  • [41:03] Mike: I Mean yeah, she's to it. It was bothersome enough. There was making her cry right? Ah I mean I guess yeah I mean I guess if a woman I mean really really all that's happening. There is your is there people are discovering the kind of.
  • [41:09] Keith: Or so she is performing. Yeah.
  • [41:23] Mike: Mammal Mammalian sexual selection strategy like it's not that on some level. It's not that interesting right? Is you know? Yes, the male of the species basically is not selective because I mean we do. We don't really have to go through on somely. But yeah I mean the male doesn't have to care for the baby. The female does so therefore the females going to be very selective and the male just basically. Distributes to sperm and runs away and because of that strategy like all of this just flows out of that right? I mean the woman is going to be extremely selective and of course the males are picking the most fit women. So like yeah if you if you swipe right on just really unattractive women and really uncompelling women you're going to do much better I Assume right.
  • [42:00] Keith: Yeah I'm I'm sure there's like the eighty twenty rule here where and and it's probably actually more like the 100 which is like the the top 1% in terms of attractiveness women get 99% of the interest. It's it's probably not that pronounced but it.
  • [42:01] Mike: You probably haven't tried that right.
  • [42:12] Mike: Yeah, and that's where you get incels. Yeah, there's this very significant group of men who just can't ah get any woman interested and then there's the the reality that ah 5% of the men are hooking up with fifty plus percent of the women.
  • [42:29] Keith: Right.
  • [42:31] Mike: And that's just how like in a that maybe in a more traditional society that doesn't happen because sex is not as available. But yeah, that's that's what these systems produce and I'm not yeah, there's some social ills that come out of that I'm not sure. Yeah, being sad for the men I don't know I mean it's sort of here's here's an interesting take. Ah. So like that stuff is probably a consequence of of letting go of traditional dating and sexual values right? So that same woman probably doesn't want to return to a more like religious cultural system where women don't have premarital sex and stuff but that's probably actually how you fix this right? Because. If the really attractive man couldn't have sex with you know, 500 women in his life because they wouldn't have sex with him. Ah then this wouldn't happen. But that's what's causing this is the fact that there's this small set of men right? and so it's like the very sexual liberation that people.
  • [43:16] Keith: It shifts the economy.
  • [43:24] Mike: And I understand why so rightfully pursue results in this kind of crazy insel subcommunity of men who can't get any sex and also it makes women unhappy because they're always getting cheated on dumped and so forth by these really attractive men who are perfectly willing to lie to them and just sort of Churn them and go through different.
  • [43:38] Keith: Right.
  • [43:43] Mike: Ah, and then you so you see I'm sure you see on the tinder subret of women just complaining constantly about being ghosted after the guy has sex with him 5 times or whatever that he's really cool and all this stuff and that happens all the time. Well, that's why is because they're pursuing the high value guy and the guy they don't realize the guy has like 10 women. He's fucking at the same time which I think happens all the time. So.
  • [43:48] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [43:57] Keith: Um, right? Yeah I think you're right? ah.
  • [44:02] Mike: With the one the 1 caveat to that is like something that you say which I think is interesting and I have no experience with but is this notion that social media can ah decrease that to some extent now I don't know if and the the way it decreases it is that women can use the man's social media account against him. They can weaponize it. To know whether he's stating like 5 women at the same time I'm assuming that they're very basic strategies which you do not employ but probably could but you prefer being more honest, which good for you where ah. A man can simply like never post pictures of himself with women on his social media or somehow like occlude that information maybe not friend people maybe say I don't use social media like whatever.
  • [44:36] Keith: Yeah, well and I think I don't know to the benefit of scumpags things may be improving that area I mean nobody uses Facebook anymore and nobody in sort of that age demographic anyway and ah you know Instagram and Instagram stories are. Are still popular but not growing as quickly as it was and so yeah, this thing where like people are constantly posting things that allows others to surveil them is fading a bit. So maybe yeah, this issue that happened in sort of like the mid.
  • [45:07] Mike: There you go.
  • [45:14] Keith: 2000 teens where you really had to be careful with your social media presence because if you were dating multiple people. It could easily be detected like ah I dated someone who if somebody would like like 1 of my posts somewhere she would like interrogate me about that person and. Oftentimes her intuition was correct and so you know you sort of have to decide whether you want to lie lie of omission white lie or be honest and all of those have various cones of outcome.
  • [45:48] Mike: Right? And to be to be fair when you know men will say oh that woman's stalking or she's acting crazy. She isn't actually she's followed like she's what she's doing is the female reproductive strategy. She doesn't want you to be impregnating 10 different women. She's just doing. But her basic programming would tell her to do right? She's trying to force you into monogamy which actually makes sense like it's annoying for a man men want to have sex with many different women. But if this is her goal makes sense.
  • [46:05] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [46:14] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, it was. It was tough like obviously the temptation is to call someone like that crazy and indeed culturally people are discouraged from online stalking their partners but you know there's lots of. Benefits to that kind of behavior too. So.
  • [46:34] Mike: There's no I mean but that's calling that crazy in my mind So to me, it seems crazy and I think probably to you too to to most men. It seems crazy that women value male status male money in the way they do too like you wouldn't sort women based on how much money they have right. You wouldn't date a 65 year old woman just because she was rich right? Yeah and so that seems crazy and yet women. So So this is the point is that women's strategies and are somewhat incomprehensible to men and vice versa right? I mean women look at it's like it's actually like the question. Started with her early in the show about ah Periods versus yeah you know men men and women the period versus the testosterone stuff not be able to understand each other like there's the same thing like it's just hard for us to understand each other's dating strategies and they seem really irrational until you put them in the context of like. Yeah I mean people don't like this but like our dating strategies absolutely result from Biological reproductive realities of who's carrying the baby who has to feed milk to the baby who blah Blah Blah Blah Blah They all come from that. Ah, so yes, when people try to run away from Biology. You can do it. But ultimately it's hard I mean your brain is programmed the way it is.
  • [47:32] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
  • [47:43] Mike: And I suspect that when women and men deviate too far from the biological biologically determined strategies. They actually get unhappy I suspect like if a woman really behaves like a man. Ah sorry a ciss and you know a person who identifies as female behaves too much like a man. Sexually and dating wise she winds up unhappy I suspect and and same for men.
  • [48:04] Keith: Yeah wealth and just to yes and to that point I mean I think culture is pushing people at least you know North American culture is pushing people toward behaviors that are not necessarily biologically Adaptive. So. Women are really really really encouraged I don't know I'd encourage but the sort of sexual liberal ah liberalization of of women results in this sort of um yeah, like just saying yeah encouraging women to explore with lots of different.
  • [48:37] Mike: Cock carousel.
  • [48:44] Keith: Sexual partners and indeed of course they should be allowed to do that. Of course they should not be shamed for doing that. But I'm not sure they should be pushed toward doing that and I think our culture and you know you watch all these Tv shows. All the ones about young people involve you know, substantially more promiscuity than you would have seen in the past and again they should absolutely be allowed to do that and there should be no shame in doing that but encouraging and pushing people toward that. Maybe.
  • [49:18] Mike: I saw I saw a porn like a couple days ago we should move on but I saw a porn a couple days ago that was women I don't I don't know where I saw this I can't I'm sorry I can't link listeners to it but it was a porn of women in public just lying down on the ground and just pissing. They were just pissing.
  • [49:19] Keith: Problematic.
  • [49:33] Keith: Um, what? okay.
  • [49:36] Mike: Yeah, it was like at some beach somewhere or something in the and there'd be like these maybe you know 60 something people walking by you know so age wise just and just to give you like I mean that's like that is not something you would have seen like fifty years ago just like women just bearing their vagina and just pissing all over the place like lying down like that's not.
  • [49:41] Keith: Um, ah.
  • [49:54] Mike: But that's like now. Yeah, the people just walked by like nothing was happening and it's like Wow that would have been really surprising. It's sort of surprising now. But like these yeah people people are now like and this must have happened I mean they filmed it somewhere Maybe everybody in the filming was an actor I don't know but I I kind of doubt it I suspect it was like a gonzo thing.
  • [49:59] Keith: Short. Right.
  • [50:12] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean just generally, there's there's a lowering of the I don't know the shaming of of women's modesty or sorry there's a there's less shaming with there's more shaming. There's less shaming.
  • [50:13] Mike: Anyway.
  • [50:30] Keith: Of women being immodest and yeah for better or worse.
  • [50:32] Mike: That's right and I can understand that mean they're they're like feminist commentaries that say well you know our bodies don't belong to society they belong to ourselves and that's true. It's just like but culture like culture exists because it's possible and actually I think it's true. The culture exists as a distillation Asian for the most part of.
  • [50:37] Keith: Right? And I agree.
  • [50:49] Mike: Things that work to make people's lives run smoothly and reasonably and so it's like these are these rules aren't like aren't always a patriarchy like coming down on you a lot of them are just things that like got built up over time and and worked well but people have to figure that out. So yes.
  • [51:02] Keith: Crowdsourced over generations and agreed upon. Okay, let's move on before too much trouble on that 1 is masturbating to your own nudes a thing throwway a account because I'd like to remain anonymous hello. Well, that's that's too bad I wish she she wouldn't have remained anonymous.
  • [51:11] Mike: Not not for men.
  • [51:18] Keith: I 26 email took a bunch of fire nudes just because I felt like it not for anyone to see but myself they're not for anyone to see them myself. They were deleted pretty quickly I got turned on while looking at them and yeah I ended up having the best orgasm I've had in a long time is this a kink I know for sure I'm not narcissistic or vain I'm not so Sure. So sure to sweetie I actually struggled with my self image and confidence a lot. Well everybody does. Ah and I'm not a hugely sexual person and have responsive desire is that is that a term of art that I don't know what's responsive desire.
  • [51:50] Mike: Yes, it is that means that means it's a woman who is unlikely to initiate sex and so this is very very commonly like in marriages where like the guy's complaining because the wife doesn't want sex. It's because the woman has responsive desire. So basically the guy has to find strategies to sort of initiate.
  • [51:57] Keith: Ah.
  • [52:09] Mike: Kind of gently in such a way the like the woman becomes interested and so then like it's It's like these these are women who could be characterized as asexual and in fact, like if they were in like a women's prison or something without men. They probably would be asexual. Yeah go on.
  • [52:17] Keith: I get it I get it. Okay, yeah, long time this the show maybe able to speculate why I don't know that expression. Um, this person said but damn did I turn myself on there. Ah, okay.
  • [52:34] Mike: Sounds hot I mean I like it I.
  • [52:36] Keith: Why did I write this guy. Yeah I did she her first sentence is extremely disappointing which is throw away a account because I'd like to remain anonymous. Ah lol um I can't imagine well. Okay, so for starters I am not homosexual and so.
  • [52:46] Mike: Grid.
  • [52:56] Keith: The notion of being attracted to the male form is is difficult for me to relate to um I do know there are more women who are bisexual or or bisexual leaning I don't.
  • [53:00] Mike: Yeah.
  • [53:12] Keith: Ah, can't imagine anybody masturbating to their own their own dudes. It's like ah like tickling yourself.
  • [53:16] Mike: I can know I disagree with you there I mean even as a man I've encountered I've experienced So it's not this is important that it's not.. It's not really gay in the sense that it's not like you're looking at a man and saying oh I'm attracted to that man. It's because you're seeing yourself and so it's like oh I look you know that looks good like I look good here. Of course you have because like like here's I can prove it when you're DoingPiV you're on your knees. You're plowing away. She's got her legs Parted. Ah.
  • [53:37] Keith: Yeah I have had that experience. Ah.
  • [53:49] Keith: As you do? yeah.
  • [53:52] Mike: And sometimes you will look down at your the junction between your bodies actually for men. That's a very ah arousing image like part of what's arousing about it is your cock right? come on.
  • [53:56] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah for Sure. I Guess if if it was like ah if it was like a white it out Cock or you know if if it had those lines that they put in anime. Ah yeah I think it would be less compelling.
  • [54:13] Mike: Right? I mean. so so yeah you're you're aroused by the capability of your own body It's not Exact. You're not saying oh I want to have sex with that as the other person you're saying oh this is hot. So like I've definitely had the experience I think I've told said it on this show like where i. Get a certain view and the particular one I'm thinking of is like sitting in a chair and there happened to be like a window or a mirror to my left or right that was reflective and I could see like a profile view of what I was doing and I was like oh that's that's cool, but it was if it had been another guy would not have been cool. Um, yeah, but.
  • [54:41] Keith: Yeah, well yeah, of course if yeah, that would be scared scary.
  • [54:46] Mike: I Don't think I would be interested in a video or photo on the other hand that doesn't seem compelling although I've never like sat down and tried so.
  • [54:51] Keith: The extent of my ability to relate to this is something like this like sometimes I'll be in a hotel and I'll be masturbating and I'll catch a glimpse of myself and yeah I I will be yeah I'll I'll do a double take. But.
  • [55:01] Mike: Here we go.
  • [55:11] Keith: It's not like I just like sit there and like stare at myself in the eyes or like stare at my cock like it's like a brief appreciation or or noticing or something I don't know it's a little hard to explain.
  • [55:23] Mike: Ironically Keith I've I've read enough like ah viewer feedback to the podcast to know that just the set of stuff you said there like there is definitely a gay listener who's going to be like turned on by that. It's true.
  • [55:35] Keith: That's um.
  • [55:36] Mike: Like we get to be a little bit like ah female porn stars. You're like there are some men out there that like the stuff you're saying and iim'm saying but mostly you is like ah a turn on. No no, it's much better for Mick Jagger much better for him.
  • [55:40] Keith: Right? This is what it's like for for Mick Jagger or something. Um, no no, it's a perfect analogy. Um, ah the end.
  • [55:55] Mike: If we could get to there that would be great I don't I don't know if we can accomplish that? Yes, right.
  • [55:59] Keith: Life. Yeah, please tell your friends and family. Ah, this person says I'm I'm too young not to have a good sex life. Lol hi guys. This is really embarrassed honestly. So so so is third rammar I've been married since I was eighteen. It's been five years I lost my virginity to my husband and sex was pretty good for like a year
  • [56:08] Mike: Right.
  • [56:17] Keith: Now all he does is tell me to take off my clothes and lay down sex lasts for 3 minutes and it's done I've asked him several times for foreplay and I've even tried to give him oral. He won't let me he won't even kiss me during sex I had a baby this past year and now he uses the excuse that watching me have a baby makes him grossed out by my vagina. Not overweight or unattractive used to want to have sex with me and foreplay I'm at a loss at what to do? I've tried longerraine things like that but nothing works. He isn't having an affair and 100 % positive in that because he plays video games almost all day I'm so unhappy with my sex life and I'm only 23 orgasm during sex once as a liver in a so fairly progressive city ah relationships like this like this is probably some sort of religious marriage or some sort of situation where. Maybe the person didn't have as much agency and choosing whether they wanted to marry the person as as you might hope for It's it's hard for me to relate to stories like this but what percentage of you know american relationships. Do you think have just like completely dysfunctional sex or. Ah, physical relationships sexual is natural relationships.
  • [57:33] Mike: Oh I think it's I think it's substantial but not in this specific way this specific one I if I were her I would ah check his phone for texts between him and someone named say Steve or nick ah Jimmy this guy is this guy's probably gay. So I'm going to go with ah like because I don't think I think that I don't think this is look There could be like a person's depressed or something There could be some like mental health issue but like I think typically a guy and particularly in this age range 5 years since being age eighteen so 23 that's feeling like he's.
  • [58:00] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [58:09] Mike: Yeah I mean like he's he my my guess is gay here. Um, but in terms of like dysfunction like I think very high percentage but it's typically ah I don't I think it would be I'm not sure this would be the manifestation of it I think the manifestation is something more like stress. The relationship around say money kids some other topic very very frequently like the woman just is preoccupied and there's like no space and time it's usually the woman because for a variety of reasons like her like base sex drive is going to be lower and also typically typically.
  • [58:28] Keith: Um, yeah chores.
  • [58:47] Mike: And also ah there are certain like familial stress related responsibilities of fallener and it takes more time and stuff for her to get in the mood and so like it's going to be more commonly that way. But I think there's like yeah like this kind of dysfunction like unhappy I mean that's like this is fundamentally why like there's you know I mean if you just read sugar Lifestyle Forum I Mean it's these. Just really common for men to be stepping out as so to speak. Ah yeah, looking for somebody who's just like a little more fun and that's why I think this one this one though I don't I don't It's possible that if he's depressed or something but I'm going to go with.. It's probably that he is not interested in women.
  • [59:12] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [59:22] Keith: Sure who knows.
  • [59:24] Mike: You never know though, there's a multiplicity of experiences. Maybe he's asexual maybe maybe maybe he's got a really small penis and he's embarrassed I don't know.
  • [59:30] Keith: I mean whatever I mean as you say sexual dysfunction can express it a multitude of ways I was just wondering I mean we talked about this a few episodes ago I mean 50% of relationships end a divorce.
  • [59:37] Mike: Right.
  • [59:48] Keith: Ah, the 50% that stay together some some large number of those are probably unhappy. They're just tolerating each other and so yeah I just imagine that the amount of unhappy the unsatisfied people sexually has just got to be.
  • [59:55] Mike: Right.
  • [01:00:06] Keith: It's got to be the vast majority of of people that's ah, that's ah that would suck.
  • [01:00:09] Mike: I think it is I think it is I think it is because because even ah, even if you have people like if you take you could say oh well. Ah unmarried men. They're just going to be getting on tinder and having sex stuff. Well, that's not even right because the average like income of a man in the United States says I don't know forty fifty Thousand dollars a year and that's not going to be enough to like actually have that much of a fun experience like sure if you take a single guy who's making 5 times that then he can like there're going be a lot of with he'll be like a magnet to women in certain ways and he can.
  • [01:00:40] Keith: Yeah.
  • [01:00:43] Mike: Have all this fun. But that's not going to be the ordinary case. The ordinary case is going to be some guy who just is very difficult for him to work things out and so then it's going to come down to personality style like whether they're 2 people that just actually both want to have sex with each other a lot and that requires like a lot of luck and so yeah I agree I think like it's tricky.
  • [01:00:48] Keith: Um, yeah.
  • [01:00:58] Keith: What percentage of men this is a provocative question I think we should end the episode on this what percentage of men. Do you think are sexually satisfied and what percentage of women. Do you think are sexually satisfied say in the United States
  • [01:01:15] Mike: It's going to be a higher percentage of women because they don't care as much so I'm going to go with 10% of men and 30% of women something like that.
  • [01:01:17] Keith: Um, that's I agree with that intuition.
  • [01:01:25] Keith: Um, I might even be more cynical than that. Yeah I think it's probably around 10% of men and then yeah I don't know I guess I guess women care about sex. Yeah, maybe it's 30%
  • [01:01:40] Mike: Of course you have today. You have to the right thing is.
  • [01:01:42] Keith: It's it's subjective and we have to decide like yeah, what? how do you constitute or how do you? what comprises? ah you know, sexual satisfaction and that kind of stuff. But yeah of course of course, of course.
  • [01:01:48] Mike: Right? You have to age bracket it to ah and yeah, like 1 of the things I mean this is ah my like I have very few actual political things that I believe but like 1 of the things I think is that like for guys like yeah I mean those massage pars where they give your hand job should definitely be legal. Because I think there's like some basic things for men that would drive this number up. Ah and I don't think it's such I don't think that you know but I but something very simple like that. That's not dangerous for the woman where it can be regulated other countries do this I think that's a thing that would drive the number up because then the guys like oh that's fine I can just go do this and get a release. Ah.
  • [01:02:16] Keith: Right? right.
  • [01:02:24] Keith: Right? It wouldn't end your career if you were found out.
  • [01:02:27] Mike: But yeah, yeah, exactly and like you know and you could lower the drive the cost down to because it might be expensive where someone lives like whatever and these are like it's almost medical at some on some level now I'm not suggesting a woman has to like do piv you know, prostitute nothing like that. But I think there are things that could be offered to mend and drive the number up. And then also you have to age bracket I mean I probably eighty year olds just don't care. So yeah, exactly.
  • [01:02:46] Keith: Right? right? right? right? Of course of course yeah, it's like not applicable. Okay, all right. That's a good place to stop I think that'll do it for episode 63 of your mileage may vary. We can be contacted at Http://ymmvpod On Twitter or by email at http://ymmtheymmvpodatcheapemail.com still pay $10 for feedback and always enjoy hearing from you so hit us up. Thanks Mike first time thanks to you for your decision to listen and we hope you'll join us next week on your mileage may vary.