YMMV is a weekly podcast about SEX and RELATIONSHIPS.
Enjoy YMMV? Please click the above button to subscribe to the show!
Give us your email for show notes and reminders:  
To listen to an episode, just scroll down and press the play button.

Episode 64: Mike Reads Literotica, Answers Listener Questions, Tackles Escort Philosophy, Gives Self Handjob

Team YMMV | 4-28-2022 | 1:03:52

Read The Transcript

      RSS             S      

Mike does a solo episode, tackling some listener feedback, reading literotica to our listeners, going though some feedback on the escort-aficionado forum and answering a bevy of sex/relationship questions, lightning-round style. Genuinely dozens of topics covered, enough to make anyone happy, he hopes.

What are the best and worst things about hosting a sex podcast? Are we mansplaining too much? Are we right about squirting?

And, how many of you are turned on by the literotica Mike selected? You're welcome to send us your own selections for us to read on air and give feedback. In particular, we should probably try an episode focusing on what women like in literotica, as most of what we've found so far seems like it must really be targeting men.

If, for some reason, listeners want the full effect of the literotica discussed and read in the episode, here it is:

https://ymmv.me/64/pushing-my-luck

https://ymmv.me/64/mom-posing

https://ymmv.me/64/virgin-wife

We discussed some posts regarding escorts and Seeking Arrangements. Here are links to them if listeners want to read them in full:

https://ymmv.me/64/switch-to-sa

https://ymmv.me/64/porn-star-experience

https://ymmv.me/64/escort-philosophy

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/64/huge-penis

https://ymmv.me/64/cum-fetish

https://ymmv.me/64/oral-kiss

https://ymmv.me/64/dick-slip

https://ymmv.me/64/anal-view

https://ymmv.me/64/fleshlight-cheating

https://ymmv.me/64/mmf-mff

https://ymmv.me/64/handjob-time

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [00:00] Mike: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships I am Mike and my co-host Keith is still in Aruba or Kurousal or some Caribbean Island so for the first time we're doing a solo episode with just me. Um, which is going to be great I have an incredible amount of content lined up for you. Our listeners? Um, and we're going to just blast through it and see how much we can get done today. Um, tons and tons of questions we have some listener feedback. And questions from listeners as well as some other special content that I've put together for today and yeah let's just get started. Um so we haven't done much listener kind listener feedback on the show in the past we have a large and growing listener base. Um, and we encourage people to give us feedback at y mmvpod at http://gmail.com you can follow us at Twitter ymvpod y mmvpod on Twitter we also have a Facebook group and we have a. Meaningful size and growing Quora group where people post questions we haven't actually taken any from there yet. But we will start potentially at some point so you can check that out as well. At http://quora.com your mileage may vary on there but we do get a fair amount of email people asking questions and feedback and so I thought I would go through some of it today. Um. And see what see if I have some responses to what people say when people send us emails a lot of times we offer them the opportunity to come on the podcast. Most people don't reply to be fair when we say that making me wonder whether someone hijacked their account to ask the question or to give the feedback or maybe they just are too embarrassed. Or maybe they're just irritated we replied at all when we do offer for people to come on almost none except um, we've concluded that asking people to come on is a microaggression which makes sense. Um, it's just too much for them. So ah, but we'll continue to do it and if people want to like. You know, live ask us questions or come on. You know there's a chance we could do that some of the folks we have ah have asked questions actually a fair number of women though we don't have we we assume our audience is like 90% men um Monica wrote in to tell us that she loves so swallowing semen. Ah I think she's responding to Keith's Oft -repeated dislike of blows because he's concerned that there's no chance that someone could enjoy that. Um I'm not really surprised monica I think that there are well.
  • [02:47] Mike: I assume that when you say you love swallowing it what you mean is that you love you enjoy it when it's with a person that you want I mean you're not going to You're not lining up at the local glory hole to do this. You don't just want to pick a random guy. You're interested in. Um. Doing it for or with somebody that you care about and that makes sense to me. Um, unlike Keith's experience on this matter. Ah it makes sense to me I mean it's something I can understand um both from the sort of dominant submissive aspect of it but also just like I actually. Mean know just makes sense to me that like somebody could enjoy this activity. Um, because like they're participating. They're participating in an act with their partner and yeah, it's something they like to do so I actually think I don't know if the majority of women do I've seen in my shameful use of Tiktok recently I've seen like. There was a comedian on there who's saying that she has learned she you know she basically questions the validity of spitting because you have to like basically run to the bathroom. Although you could have something to spit like a spitoon something near the bed. It could be made or like ah I guess like a handkerchief toilet paper something like that. Or I mean I guess you could I mean it's in porn like it's pretty common nowadays to like have the guy pull out and nut all over the woman in some you know her stomach or butt something like that. So a woman could start doing that too right? I mean she could just give blows and then like spit the semen back like on his stomach you see women in porn drool it back. Don't really like that I think women shouldn't do that I would recommend against it. Um, you know, but if you yeah if you're but anyway the the basic concern this comedian brings up which makes sense to me is that like if you do that you're having to taste it more it lasts longer. And that makes sense to me. So I mean there's another thing which is just like a plastic practicality element. Um, now if a guy is producing like an unreasonably large amount or if it's like just something filthy disgusting about it. Maybe he smokes a lot or something then I could see it being kind of gross. So anyway I believe you Monica and ah. Keith's ah Keith's responses to this stuff. Not notwithstanding. It makes sense to me all right? So we have another listener John he wrote in to ask us ask us. This is a sort of boring question. So I'll get to it quickly. What are the best and worst parts about hosting a sex podcast. Ah I mean. Yeah, probably um I don't know the the the worst is definitely like the Dick Pics we get the no money we get. It's impossible I mean we don't even want to do sponsorships. But I mean how would you really do them on a sex podcast. Although to be fair like our competitors who we hope to unseat. Ah.
  • [05:32] Mike: Over the coming weeks and months as we grow our audience and you can of course help us in that by telling people about our podcast. Um, you know they do a lot of ads I haven't listened I should pay attention to what the ads are for because like what could you possibly advertise on such a podcast like who's going to want I guess like flashlights. By the way I was on Amazon earlier today for some reason I typed in flashlight and like they didn't have them they had like they had like flashlight accessories which is kind of funny. They're selling accessories but not the fleshlight itself anyway, ah so yeah I mean like you know yeah getting dick pics and the no money I would say is the is the worst part about it. Best part is of course learning your cohosts. Ah masturbation style you know I mean the nothing better, nothing better than getting a detailed rundown on exactly how that works out. Um and the chicks. The chicks is the other great part. Actually I mean you know what? we'd like to do is get more of them. But we yeah, we've done. Okay, we've done okay with ah with getting lovely young ladies on the podcast I think we will continue to have some success there and as we again, you know, become more popular I mean I don't know if ah. Well talking about this sort of stuff is probably more compelling to attractive young ladies as the audience they can do it in front of grows and we have had a significant amount of interest. Although we haven't really taken much taken many. We haven't really taken people up on it but there is sort of an interest from like the sort of cam community. We also actually. Have gotten some interest from like people who've written books and stuff like that that is a little less interesting because they're just going to be telling us nonsense just blah blah blah politically correct stuff. I mean we've looked at like what people suggest I'm not going to name names. But it's not particularly interesting. Okay, let me move on here. So 2 women. I wanted to know if Keith is available Keith not me. Of course it's Keith because we've as we made it clear Keith is the the one who is more successful. Why I'm married but also like he ah, he's had more of the sort of top something percent kind of Chad I think Keith is actually like sort of a. Synonym for Chad Chad of course being a name that's given to people in the um incel community who are able to who like women approach in bars I've personally seen Keith be approached by a woman I've actually also personally been there when he was approached and then repelled the woman something I'm proud of thus cock blocking him. Ah, by being repulsive. Not physically repulsive ah like attitudinally repulsive I'm I'm I'm okay looking. But um, anyway, yeah, so is Keith available I mean Keith is as we've said he's in a ah, an ethically non-monogamous. Relationship. So yes, he is he would have to reveal. Ah.
  • [08:21] Mike: Whatever you propose to his significant other who has been on the show. But yeah, you know you should hit us up at wymvpod@gmail.com if you want to proposition Keith he lives on the west coast but I mean as you know he's been in the caribbean islands cavorting so you never know where he's going to be and there's some availability that potentially for a woman I don't. Think it would be for a man and then we also had ah ah a woman who was looking for a threesome with Keith with which I also think is possible although we would want to know if it's mmf or m f f that's going to be important. Um, next topic here. We've got Jessica. Jessica wants to know what kind of Literotica turns us on I'm actually gonna put a pin in that one Jessica and I will actually none of it turns me on that's going to be your ah your like preview. However I am I did ah take the time to dig some up that I will. Ah. Go through in a couple minutes after I finish with some more of this ah listener feedback and we can together explore a few different Literotica bits that I will read. Um, you know some of the top sex and relationship really sex podcasts on Apple Podcasts elise are just people reading Literotica um. Which you know maybe maybe I can turn some of you on. hopefully hopefully I'll turn on women but it might be men I hope it's women. Um, um, Rachel is tired of me mansplaining about female orgasms. So you know you think I'm only going to read things like oh someone wants to date Keith but I'm not just going to read that. Ah, so you know if people want to jump in with some negative stuff. We'll get there. Um yeah I mean ah, fair, fair enough fair enough I am speaking from the male perspective although with a fair amount of research I mean look I mean you can't sort of ah switching my gender which is not on my agenda. Would be difficult for me to speak to this with any more precision than I have um but I think like I think it's fair to say and new listeners can go back and listen to our archive and hear that I have like various skepticisms about women who claim to have like many many many orgasms in a row and look. That's just coming from like a chemistry biology standpoint of where where are these hormones coming from where are the pleasure chemicals. I mean there's some limit right? I mean otherwise people could just have orgasms without end. They could. It would be like taking heroin although heroin does exist. But I mean I don't think there's like a. Big reservoir of heroin inside. People's body anyway, in other words I'm starting from first principles there and also from my experience as a man so they're not like insane things. But fair enough that like yeah I mean basically there's an element of like censorship here. It's like well you know if I can't talk about the female experience then.
  • [11:11] Mike: You know and by the way also, ah, Rachel we've had female guests on who largely have confirmed and I mean we look. We want to have women on that have different experiences. Um I think Alyssa has had some experiences that differed from ah one of our female guests from some of the things I've said. So that's an interesting one. You could go back and and listen to episodes with a list on um and you know we don't shout her down I mean you know it's believable and fine. But ah yeah I mean for the most part like look the stuff that a lot of the stuff that i'm. Kind of railing against on here is not railing but I'm I'm complaining about is some of the portrayal of female experience that's done on Chatterbait you know cam sites like these sorts of things that I have talked to women kind of behind the scenes on these things. And look they're they're performing There's a lot of performance going on in these situations and I think it's useful for men to know that there's performance there and we get a lot of the questions we answer are men who are like confused by that and think that they are really giving the woman you know ten orgasms a night with piv sex and they're just not and it's good for men to know that. But yeah, fair point you know mansplaining is not great. Okay, we get a lot. We've gotten a number of feedbacks from people that men and women that want to tell us that squirting is real. It happens and blah blah blah blah blah it coincides with orgasm. Mostly men not only men meaning the people that give the feedback but it's still mostly men that say this look um, okay, the question is not whether it happens it happens you know like the the question is and you know and we had somebody write in I'm not going to go read it. But it's something about oh i've. I tasted it because it happened this was a recent feedback it tasted I tasted it because I was giving oral at the time which is kind of gross. Whatever I mean so essentially it's like ah you're giving oral sex to a woman and then it turns into some kind of weird water fountain experience. But okay, he was giving oral to a woman it happened. And he said it was tasteless and odorless which like first of all I mean you're in the middle of giving oral to someone. Are you sure it was tasteless and odorous odorless. But okay, but secondly yeah, you know I mean pee can be tasteless and odorless look it's it's urine. Okay, you know and and and it's just urinary incontinence women are. Losing I mean their their their urethra is sort of in the same general region. It runs you know it's shorter. It's it's not like the penis where there's like a valve that turns it off for the seamen to flow through so when they have orgasms like their body gets a little confused and that can happen and it's become trendy. Um, yeah, the 2 things that have become really trendy in porn and.
  • [13:43] Mike: Discussion are squirting and analingus I never thought anal linus would become trendy I never would have thought that in my life I always thought it was kind of a funny word and not a thing people would do much but apparently it's a thing that the kids are doing so there you have it. Ah I believe it's real. Ah, and i. Believe that it coincides with orgasm. It's none of that. It's just that I think it's p that's all because in my basis is there is no organ in the female or male body. There's no like extra organ to hold some fluid like that that's going to be excreted in general. Um and it makes sense that it would be urine because that's where the. Ah, you you read Thera is on the woman. Okay, so I put a pin in this comment this question from Jessica earlier about Youiteterotica and I'm going to come back to that and let me, um, pull up a couple things here now I went to I actually don't spend a lot of time with Literotica maybe I should when I was much younger. Before like porn was as available I did spend more time I remember there was some site you could use that would actually auto scroll literotica so you could like push a button and it would scroll so that way you could you could read and have it scroll in front of you while you were beating off hands free. So that way you could use 2 hands which was fantastic by the way. Thank whoever did that. But. Moved on most people have to um, video content more recently vr of course. Um, although as we've discussed on the show vr is less sort of underwhelming. Um, but okay, I've returned to the to the Literotica and 1 thing so I went to I went and searched around and I searched specifically for like high rated Literotica. 1 thing that immediately caught my eye which was surprising is that like like porn literotica appears to be like inundated with these ah like stepmother like incest Literotica which I didn't actually know was going on so I thought maybe ah you know. Ah, Jessica wanted to know what my favorite was I don't have one but I thought I could read some to you and maybe I could turn you on a little bit I doubt it but I'll give it a try. Um, so here we go this is from ah pushing my luck. Ah, the story is called pushing my luck and it comes with a warning that it's a mother son incest story. And it goes neither of us neither of us said anything but there was nothing that needed to be said when she arrived at my bedside I was too eager to throw back the sheets in blatant invitation I always sleep just in my boxers. And so this time when her eyes dipped she was rewarded with the sight of my drawers straining to contain me and it's not very hot I reached out with 1 hand to pull my cock out my hard cock out but she stopped me with a wordless smile preferring to do it herself.
  • [16:29] Mike: Taking hold of each side of my underwear. She turned them inside out as she slowly hauled them down and I sent off a quick Thank you to whoever deity might be listening that there were no pea stains or skid marks. How is that hot. What? okay. The boxers were dropped unceremoniously to the ground like seriously like how you're masturbating like this isn't good. Okay, the sound of a real live woman squealing with pleasure is my manhood was unleashed. That's never happened before in the history of the world quivering in its eagerness to be put to use to the use. It was made for certainly was a nice. Boost to the old ego here's the key paragraph mom reached out to run 2 fingertips slowly along the underside of my shaft all the way from the bulbous helmet down to the balls making my rock hard penis jerk and jump impatient to be introduced to its first pussy. By the way it's spelled with an apostrophe when I also let out a throaty groan. She shot me a concerned look though I mean it's his mom so when she know if he had skid marks. She's probably seen skid my get I can't get past the skid marks in the underwear comet all right? All right. Quietly, my darling she instructed in a whisper. We. Don't want Leslie to catch us like this who's Leslie I answer with a nod. My big sister occupied the room next to mine and knowing her habits as I did it didn't take a genius to realize that she was probably still in there sleeping it was rare for her to go home from a dab blah blah like it's getting boring. Okay. My mom mom carefully climbed up onto the bed then straddling me she reached down between us with 1 hand taking hold of my cock and me steering it into herself until our most intimate parts were in perfect alignment. Oh my god okay so this is I okay. With the head of my cock at the entrance to her cunt. That's really hot there. She hesitated a moment searching my eyes I guess she was making absolutely sure I wasn't having any last minute reservations about committing incest with her like this is not It's just terrible like what's wrong with these people. Mom pressed my length in between her swollen cunt lips and wrote it up and down. Okay, so let me move on here so that was that that one. Okay, but here I mean and this is not unique by the way like this is a really common genre I don't to belabor this but okay, persuading this another story persuading shy mom to pose all right. Here we go bent over she replied slightly surprised. Yeah, it will look great. Mom come on. Try it. It might be fun. Okay I guess it'll be harmless. She said as she began to bend over the skirt tightening over her nice ass I felt my breath quicken as I watched her.
  • [19:17] Mike: Snapping pics from a few angles. Wow mom you look gorgeous. Your legs are incredible in those heels as you bend over I mean like things a woman a woman never wants to hear her from her kid like that she would just commit suicide immediately I Knelt down behind her. Can you put 1 hand on your ah on your bum mom. Must be a canadian maybe I don't know sorry to our canadian listeners I know we have a lot but bum is a canadian work. Okay slowly looking unsure she did as I asked I snapped pics furiously as the level of unstated sexual energy began to grow in the room that looks great. Mom. Why does he kept to keep saying mom. It's terrible. Amazing. Can you sit down now on the couch with your legs crossed I'm sure she's going to uncross her legs. Let me scroll down a little bit here mm that is nice mom very nice that bra looks gorgeous, very sexy. Me scroll down more here. Can you turn around and do that mom I asked as I Knelt down and watched okay, just it just keeps on going like this let me move on here all right? So I'll move on from the incest Literotica because that doesn't turn me on at all I'm sorry it's. It. It makes me want to I mean it. It doesn't turn me on. Let's just say that. Okay, so this is ah Literotic. My wife wanted to save her virginity from marriage. This is good this this will turn you on all right? she turned around got on her knees and started unbuckling my genes. She pulled my cock out and slid it into her mouth without hesitation 1 hand on the base of me the other hand buried between her legs. It was pretty good. Her blowjob skills were as always very impressive and she. Soon she had worked up a nice wet mess from her enthusiastic licking spitting stroking and deep throating that's kind of gross I could feel myself get closer and closer to finishing but I decided that today her mouth wouldn't wouldn't be my hole of choice. Okay, this is not aimed. Women obviously I slid my hands up to the back of her head and grasping your hair firmly in my fist I slowly pulled her eager mouth off my sloppy cock. So I like how they add adjectives like eager and sloppy. It's it's nice if you remove those like the story's kind of boring she looked at me with pleading eyes another good adjective waiting for my next move. Pulled her away from me slightly and with firm but gentle pressure on her shoulder indicated that she should get on her back. She gave me a bratty smirk and resisted my instructions I decided the discipline was necessary all right, let me? ah.
  • [21:56] Mike: Let me yeah scroll down here. Okay, a sharp slap echoed through the room as my open hand came in contact with their soft round ass note the adjectives again. Her giggles became soft moans as I groped taking control and having my way with I want to want to move down to where this guy orgasms all right? Let's see oh. No I devoured her ass. Until she was a sloppy mess of her own before kneeling behind her grasping her hair in 1 hand and slipping a finger into her other hole which hole was he in I skipped some stuff sorry she let me toy with her then she said I want to I want you to put your cock in my ass I think that's usually how this works. I noticed that I wasn't quite ah as messy as wait. What I wasn't quite as messy as I was before so I put her on her back and I told her that I need some lubricating before this would work. She dutifully throated my cock. Yeah I mean the thing that's weird about this I mean I guess this is hot but I don't think a woman would master. Yeah I mean so. Actually saw some more like female-oriented stuff. But the problem is it was really slow and like if I read it on the podcast. It would would just take forever like it was just like you know it starts off and they're like you know their eyes meet and then they like you know 4 pages later they like. First have a conversation I mean just goes on and on and on. So maybe that? yeah this isn't really a romance novel for women anyway, just as I was about to come she slipped 2 fingers in a pussy waiter is his cock in there at the same time and I could feel her fingers in her against my cock and her ass. Oh I get it. Okay, she begged me to fill her hole with my cum and I pushed hard. And feeling myself throb and empty in her and blah blah blah also her pussy contracted as she came so his orgasm triggered hers which you know cf my earlier comments that doesn't happen very often. Um I have another one but this is getting boring. So I'm going to move on to something else here. Maybe we'll come back to it? Um, okay so I have another treat for myself slash you guys for the for the 7 people are still listening after I grossed you out there or I gross you out or you have already nutted from my hot sounding voice and if you already nutted then you f probably you know. Turned off but we we know by the way from our analytic data that a lot of people like it's actually funny. You know I never thought about this before but we know from our data that um like we have you know end listeners to an episode or whatever and then but like five n times that play is press or ten n even. Meaning like for each 1 hour episode like ah people are listening to it 6 minutes at a time. So maybe what's going on is people are masturbating to us talking right? 6 minutes that could be right? So maybe that's what's going to go on so I hope hopefully that's you know? Yeah I mean I hope it's women masturbating but I I know it isn't it's always men.
  • [24:43] Mike: Like the glory hole life is like a glory hole right? I mean like when there's a wall and you don't know whose mouth on the other side. It's always a man It's always the disappointing thing. Okay so moving on here I want to talk about ah this other subreddit sorry it's it's a subreddit this subreddit ah and about people who go to escorts and in particular there's this guy that's been posting on it called Sugar Daddy King 1 2 3 4 on Reddit so you can look him up and he's talking about how he switched from escorts to seeking arrangement and this is something we've brought up I mean. Tangentially on the podcast before and I thought hey this is a really interesting series of of things. This guy said okay, so so he posts ah and says um, he loved his escorts. He saw them for 15 years His body count was over 500 by the way people who go to escorts are called mongers. And o n g e r's good word to know my problem was when I was a monger. It wasn't easy to get bare services bear services right? So that's no condom plus if you want to spend the night with the girl setting me back two k a night with the brothel taking half. He must have been in Europe or something or I guess in Nevada. Not a whole lot of brothels in the United States anyway enter seeking arrangement I was on there for 5 years and in those 5 years I saw approximately 150 girls pretty interesting huh all right? So let's see more about this He had a couple that were eighteen months long like a girlfriend. By the way he posts pictures of I'll post the a link to this oh man, some of these photos verse are 4 of fouring which is internet ease for not there I think they're all 4 of fouring that's terrible. So we don't get to see the women. He had sex with fuck. Well anyway, let's just assume they're hot. I'm sure they are okay so he's going to give us some tips here. He says the beauty of seeking arrangement is your dealing you aren't dealing with a professional who's had hundreds of guys. Of course he's had hundreds of girls so he's sort of a professional but whatever says most are girls next door I mean I wonder if that's true. He says it's a side hustle for them. I mean i. Like I think it's always right to be suspicious like he's based I mean he must be lying to them right? He he's not he must be lying to them. He's saying you know hey I've done this a few times when he he says his body count is 500 easy and he's not telling the truth on that so they're probably lying too and like women are smart I mean they know that they're going to do better. If they lie to you and they're probably pretty good at it. But okay, he thinks they were girls next door says the key is to not treat them like a piece of meat and be really crude when talking to them. You can't talk to them like talking to an escort. You can't use terms like c I p what does that come in pussy. It's hard to figure this out in bbfs which I know is bear back full service full service.
  • [27:35] Mike: They will get creeped out look anybody's creeped out if you ask them for cip and bbfs I mean that's creepy all right. The benefit he says is most will just jump on your dick raw which is by the way exactly what bpfs is no questions asked this guys. This guy's so gross. It's like the sex you had with your girlfriend when you were 20 all right? The way I made essay easy to deal with is as follows. He gives a 5 point list number 1 never give your a girl money before meeting or it's always a scam that I'm sure it's true two if a girl asks for money just meet ah just to meet block or she's a scam right? so. Thing I've learned so far is we need to not give money until we like know we're going to get sex all right number 3 don't waste time chatting too much with her focus on the girls who want to meet I'm going to guess that that ah lowers the attractiveness. Unfortunately, all of his pictures of his quote unquote roster here are four zero four and so I can't see. But I'm going to guess that lowers the attractiveness but okay, he says if a girl takes ages to respond or won't meet in three days move on again. I think that's going to you know because look basically he's saying they aren't prose that they're the girl next door. But then he's he's saying that like the things that a girl next door would do to qualify him is like a reasonable person. He's immediately refusing to do those things so I'm a little suspicious but 5 cut and paste a generic message and send it out daily to girls who are online who you like I think I've heard that before so I believe that's like ah, a reasonable one. He says an example is he posts hi I really like your profile are you interested in a mutually beneficial arrangement. And I was again shamefully using the latest social network and there was a woman on there who uses seeking arrangement and she said what did she say she said that like the vast majority of men just like immediately come on and like don't be like hey ah you know what do you like to do. Who are you like and then what do you like and then like question 3 is like hey do you like a big dick in your ass or something like the third you know they'll immediately ask about sex if she didn't like that which makes sense to me. Well this guy's immediately asking about sex and he immediately says here in his posting that asking about a mutually beneficial arrangement is code for money for sex. So by the way I don't see anything wrong with that I just think that like he's kidding himself when he thinks he's getting people who are not professionals like these are professionals. Um, anyway, okay, so then he says look I had a friend a friend who knew nothing about seeking a arrangement. He just joined and he got a cute 22 year old girl. And cream biter on the first date It's nice that's nice I like the terminology no dinner, no meat and grate straight back to his house and fucked but remember she's a girl next door. Not ah, not not a professional right? um.
  • [30:26] Mike: He even sent her the money by bank transfer transfer after they fucked she didn't get the money for three days. He's got other girls to meet up with this week like what's the benefit there I guess that's maybe that turns him on more the fact that he didn't give her the money for three days. He's like yeah look at what I did anyway in his last run seeking this guy said he saw 70 girls. 40 was bare sex. So this guy like has a lot of stis. But ah yeah I mean you know it's believable I don't know I mean I actually don't know exactly what to say here. He says yeah bear sex is the norm There's no screening no deposit. So essentially what he's saying is essay is some kind of seeking arrangement is some kind of like master key. To women who are what I found to me like professionals. But then they don't take like reasonable precautions that I think an escort would take um, it's kind of interesting so that says pretty much what this guy posted then yeah I ah oh love's a couple things in the comments here someone asked him how much he's paying. You're not supposed to by the way on. Ah, this is a different sub on the having on the um, the the sugar baby subreddit. Whatever it's called. You're not supposed to talk about money. This is a different one. This is having fun hobbying which is explicitly about escort. So. It's cool to talk about money. He says $500 pay per meat was the average see that again sounds very professional to me right? like I mean the typical concept behind an arrangement is they have the same person and if they're you know like maybe you're helping with rent. Well $500 I mean let's say you're doing it with them twice a week once a week I mean that's a lot of money like or twice we I mean. I don't know like that that feels low sorry feels high but but you know I'm not ah in the industry. Um, you know he said he never tried to haggle I like the idea of how well I guess when you hire an escort you haggle. Um, and then there's a set of people and you're complaining at him because they're like look this is. Too much time too much effort I'd rather just ah hire an escort because this is the escorting community and by the way there are people who go on this having fun hobbying subreddit and like post kind of clandestine I may have said this on the podcast before like clandestine videos of their look I'm not. I wouldn't do that I'm not saying it's like the best thing in the world but there are people to do it. So if that's a thing you're into apparently there are people who want to hear me read Literotica about people having sex with their mom. So. There must be someone wants to see these videos. So if you're into that jump on it all right? So this guy here. it' another person from this subreddit a little different all right actually the person deleted their account can't tell you who it is but he says he got a porn star experience from a regular hoe. It's pretty good, right? A porn star experience from a regular hoe right.
  • [33:14] Mike: He says he had a regular but at the time he'd been fucking for over a year I I usually think it's the other way like I think he's the regular you know what I mean like he's the John he's the regular but okay he's saying she's the regular but you know like she has like a hundred Johns but okay. And been fucking over a year average looks a bit pudgy. He doesn't need to say these things but okay submissive love sex and cocks sucking skills that should be a ted talk. That's that's a clever turn of phrase. It should be a ted talk tutorial for all hookers looking to make coin with their mouths and I don't mean talking l o l it is pretty funny. He book an early morning session with her. As usual, she was late and punctureality is not her forte got really late and man. She's just super late and you know after showering together I guess she felt bad because ah, ah, let's see she tongue fucked his asshole. Face fuck head over the edge of the bed for some nice throat fucking and then um, yeah, like he's basically saying that he didn't have to put on a ah condom. 1 thing I enjoyed about it is that the terminology used was when she when they were discussing this. He said no babe I always rub her up. Ah, women. Yeah, it's hot when a guy says he rubbers up that's like a thing that turns women on um so then he's like look ah, he's basically talking about ah he wanted to put the condom on and she's pleading for a. Raw sex. Um, then he says and look this will be a little like the literotica but he says after fucking her cunt and getting my cock nicely wet I get her on Dogggie and tell her I'm a fucker I'm ah imm a fuck her ass puts a spit on my cock spit on her bunghole when is this bevis. And god damn it can't get the head past her tight. Asshole had her spread her cheeks push push push I hope nobody's listening to this podcast like while commuting with someone like if there's like another passenger in your car having to listen to this I'm sorry anyway I asked her where's my cock in my ass. It hurts a bit but I feel like a dirty whore I told her you are a good whore and I want my dirty whore to suck my cock and swallow ass- tomout babe oh god I pulled out and saw a few shit specks I'm like I'm sorry on my cock and like a good whore. She sucked to clean dt down to the base deep deep throat. Okay. Exploded and swallowed like a good prostitute. We rested a bit went outside for a smoke and back in the room for a second round but this time I creampied inside her ass like a new ketchup bottle. It was definitely worth the weight. Okay I don't know if this really happened. Um, yeah I don't like the part where he said there were specs of shit on his cock.
  • [36:05] Mike: I just don't I don't think that added to the story and I think it would it made it a little less believable anyway, I know you guys enjoyed that treat all right, let's move on to another one on the same having fun hobbying subreddit. Um, let's see this is ah. Is a guy sort of giving another is giving um advice his philosophy I'll try to sort of go go through this quickly his his username by the way is bbfs client bbfs bareback full service so he is trying to get the sex without um. Paying. Okay so he has ah he he he copied some texts here that he uses so his his philosophy is that when he talks to an fscord. He wants them to know they're a prostitute so he says I'll just read to you the conversation he had with 1 them hi name are you available for an in call an in-call is like when you go to their place I think. Want an hour of unprotected sex and I want to give you a couple cream pies. How much like this just I mean this feels like a cop right? if I was receiving this as a woman I'd be like okay this is definitely a policeman but the response apparently is yes $200 interesting she writes 200 with the dollar sign afterward which implies like she's not from the us. Okay. He says awesome. Thank you What's your address. She doesn't actually give it. She just says you coming now I guess he spliced it out. He says yeah you ready for sex now right? she says yes may I have your address then please. Okay, then then the address is spliced out then he says this this is his comeshot of like his texts. He says you're a good prostitute. And then her name. Thank you for all allowing unproctected sex. It's my favorite I'll see you in 25 minutes and she says okay now I mean here he absolutely sounds like a police basically his his advice is to sound as much like a policeman as possible. He's like thank you for like just to be clear. Ah we are doing an illegal activity right. And she says yes, okay now. Ah then he posts a link to which is titled helpfully afternoon delight to apparently her. Well, it's her naked posterior that he has put his semen into. So I mean of course it could just be anyone and actually I have to say the photo looks like it was taken in the 1970 s so I'm not totally sure this guy's on the up and up I think it might be just some kid from middle school posting this stuff but ah, he says that he spent the first five years of his time in the hobby exclusively having protected sex with prostitutes. Oral and vaginal but you get tired of that tired of that so he learned about prep which is a fantastic prescription on the market that have taken his prescribable risk reduce your risk of h iv infection by 99%. It's pretty good vaccines exist for hepatitis b and hpv.
  • [38:52] Mike: And there's syphilis and Connohea that's still of concern you know and then he starts talking about herpes. Ah, but you know it's he decided he decided look number 3 always have unprotected sex by the way there's another link here called midnight snack which is another sort of. Semen encrusted I mean actually it's not really encrusted because it's pretty liquid vagina. Okay, and then he moves on to explaining that you know he says and I think a lot of guys would agree at least in principle with this. He says unprotected sex. This is great. Actually this guy is some kind of a sex philosopher unprotected sex is the best sex. And nothing comes remotely close to it. Our bodies have evolved over literally thousands and hundreds of thousands of years so that it feels so unbelievably good. We'll spend our entire adult lives craving it. There's no sense in denying this aspect of our humanity and to give into it is simply an acceptance of the reality of our mortal condition. When your bare penis enters your partner's wet vagina and you feel every groove and Ridge inside her body coated in her delicious natural juices. Your brain is going to absolutely flood itself with dopamine and make you feel amazing until eventually it drives you. To feel so much pleasure that you can no longer hold it back and you erupt with an explosion of your own natural fluid's deep inside her Ms. man's obviously beating off while writing this these orgasms are truly something special and we should cherish them for the gift that they are completely natural and intended pinnacle of the human sexual experience. He really he should send a letter to the. american prostitute union tell them this. He says any prostitute worth seeing should understand how special this is and be willing of course to provide this service that makes sense that makes a lot of sense. Okay, ah then he says by there was there's another picture here we can get away. Yes, another vagina um, okay, ah. Avoid prostitutes that don't have unprotected sex. Yeah that's what actually that's that's smart because you want to get as many sdis as possible. Ah yeah, they don't allow it. He says quite frightically and they they don't care about your pleasure I mean what is this? This is like some sort of Demon. He's on here like basically telling people how to get sick. He's like here look here. This is like the ah the ah the sage the sage the guru of bad decisions. Um, he says never deny yourself the pleasures a good prostitute can give you good prostitutes are in this line of work because they truly understand what we need and are willing to give it all yet has nothing to do with wanting money. Ah, pay them what they ask show them respect. Always arrive, clean and on time and above all, enjoy yourself. It's meant to be enjoyed and savored should be no stress that that did die but the most important thing is to ah, not wear any protection and then I mean I have to say there's a lot of people commenting sort of agreeing with him so that's ah, your special treat here.
  • [41:37] Mike: Let's move on to some questions ah in the more traditional mold of our podcast. Um, okay, ah this one I thought I would be the you know decently expert on because I have more experience with this than my cosed Keith the topic is my partners dick. Scarily big I've been here I know what this is like I know that the ladies who write in want to have sex with Keith or want to date him or something but they're probably afraid of my penis which makes sense they should be okay, it says this might sound absolutely crazy to be complaining about but I don't know what to do. A woman sorry I met this really cool guy and after a few weeks we decided to start getting it on. We were having fun for a bit. He took his pants off and I saw his sheer size. It's crazy big but absolutely terrifying I feel like a lot of girls would love somebody like that. But I'm just and hate the feeling of something big inside me. Hate the feeling of something but she's going to hate it if she gets pregnant all right. My gut hurts bad. That's kind of a turn on and it's painful and uncomfortable and I'm not able to enjoy it I told him about my issues and he just won't accept it and told me I was being ungrateful and hard to please and grateful I offered to take care of him but he refused. And fabricated plans and left I don't know what to do because I really like him but he's attractive but my bitch ass is scared of his penis size. Why am I like this? Yeah I mean ah, if this is even real. Ah I don't. I mean I could see a woman being afraid like maybe yeah, maybe she had some experiences in her life that make her genuinely scared like such a large I mean it could yeah it could hurt I really you know my gut hurts bad I mean I'm not sure that's true like I don't think that a guy can actually like be so large that it's like going to puncture her intestines cause some actual like. Intestinal pain unless she's like eaten too many burritos that day or something weird is going on. But I mean there's some kind of a pain that could happen. She might be misidentifying it and I might yeah it might just not work I mean the typical problem. Girth I think that like women usually can tolerate like length I mean you can just be too long. And so you're sort of like poking their cervix or something like that and that's like a pretty standard issue. Um, but she's like she's describing it in a way that sounds ah like it's maybe a more of her problem like it's sort of unusual for her anyway. I'm given to understand that there are women who really like this. Um, you know there are some women that are sort of size queens out there. Those guy can probably find somebody who wants that and if not if he switches if he's able somehow to switch teams and become gay then I think he'll find a lot of love for that penis. But I mean like look like.
  • [44:24] Mike: There's there's a lot of respect out there for large penises I wouldn't worry about it I think he'll be fine anyway. And yeah I mean there's not much she can do if it's painful I mean I think she should just move on. It's not going to happen and similar to guys with like a micro penis like there's just although for them like there's probably no one who likes that. The super large one she will find somebody or he will rather find somebody who likes it all right next question my fwb absolutely loves come looking for more ideas to explore this kink. Ah she loves swallowing my load and facials. She told me she would just love for me just to come on her. Butt and doggy stel or stomach missionary when I'm not together. She even asks for videos to me coming I could see that women you know I I think it's usually like they want to see the man's reaction. Not actually like this fluid squirting out of his cock. But it's like she doesn't want to see a video of you peeing, but okay. I would love to try new things with this kink to please or any idea Ps we always have protected sex a cream pison on the table and also like Cf the earlier conversation with the guy who likes escorts like she's depriving him of the thing that he's evolved hundreds of thousands of years to 1 so that's pretty rough. Oh man, you know people are suggesting incorporating food out here's a gross one. What about her gargling with your come come on why you got to go like maximum grossness immediately. Okay, fucking her breasts and spurting between them or on her nipples. The only boundaries your mutual can said okay, that's boring but look. You could buy fake come and fill her up with it. Yeah, that's the suggestion that got me banned from the ah the camgirl problems subreddit I asked someone I had the temerity to ask somebody on their like if women actually like that you know these dildos with fake come. Of course they're off. It's just for the guys in Germany no woman wants. You know one of these dildos that squirts out fake nut come on. It's not like that. There's a lot of there's plenty of real nut in the world. You don't need fake nut. Um, oh Jesus somebody suggested snowballing you come in her mouth and she spits it back and yours back and forth jesus it's wrong with people. Ah. I mean here's my view on this. She doesn't absolutely love come. She likes it when you come she likes at your orgasms. So you know she wants to see different things. She wants you to have fun. Yeah I know what I'm saying is boring and I'm also mansplaining but that's that's how it goes. That's what's going on there all right next question. As a man. Do you kiss your partner after she gives oral I know Keith does I think he does he't like oral though maybe he performs oral on her wait. How could you get the seamen into her and that would more get him to snowball. It's see she gives him a blow keeps it her mouth snowballs it to Keith.
  • [47:15] Mike: Keith gives her oral and sort of squeeges it into her vagina with his mouth. Why am I thinking of that. Ah I don't know if Keith does this or not I think he doesn't okay, yeah, right? because he assiduously avoids the semen I know that okay me and my girlfriend some good grammar at the beginning of this one. Discussing our sex life and we happened to bring up our past experiences she told me she'd never had a man kiss her after oral sex him being on the receiving end. She also mentioned that she finds it attractive that I do I later then brought it up with my buddies. Why. Just gonna made fun of okay, asking them if they kissed their partner after they've received world. They blew it out of proportion calling me names etc. It's I mean like yeah I mean you're this is like a man who performs autophiatio. He's going to get made fun of so I was wondering if as even though that's impressive you know from ah from a deckstep from a sort of a. Aerobic standpoint or like ah you know how flexible you are so I was wondering if as a man is it weird to kiss your partner after they give you oral I'm the dom in the relationship if that helps this guy says one of the replies says she gets anything she wants after oral a Kiss A Taco A car I'm down I don't feel that way I think the woman gets anything. You know before you finish once you finish look I think most guys when they finish they're kind of kind of done. Um I know we you know we've actually gotten some listener feedback. The complaints about my like strong take on post-nut clarity. Okay, fine. There's some men who either have a short refractory period or still kind of in the mood fine. Um, I'm sure that's part of what's going on here is like the weaker your refractory period the refractory period by the way is the period of time when the guy is sort of not into sex after orgasming. Um I think I have to say this I think in most cases, the guy doesn't want to do it. Um, that it's not like doesn't make him happy. He's doing it because he thinks it'll make you happy. And he's sort of ignoring the presence of the semen in and around your mouth. That being said I mean in and and the other oh sorry, the other thing about this is it's very like arousal dependent um men are fine with this like men know that if you're blowing them like. If. You've been blowing them for 5 minutes like some fluid has come out of their penis in your mouth and they'll kiss you then because they're still horny. Um, they won't talk about it but they will so you know they're getting some fluid there I mean they're not avoiding it. Um, but ah they after they nut. Changes so then somebody asks about whether women will do it in other words after a man goes down on them. They will because they don't have the same sort of refractory period issue if they did I mean if women had that you'd have like the sort of mexican standoff that you have with gay men where it's like.
  • [50:02] Mike: Comes first kind of wins because the other guy doesn't want to you know it's like wait as the guy yet Skye comes first wins. Um, you know it's important that one of the partners in a heterosexual relationship. Be continue to be aroused after orgasming because otherwise like you wouldn't be able to be complicated. You wouldn't both be able to orgasm and be happy. So it's tricky you know in ah other types of non-heterosexual relationships anyway. So I think that's my my read on that I don't want a mansplain here my read on that is that ah women have much less of an issue with this than what men typically encounter. Okay. Ah let's move on so this is more for these small penis people not micro penis but smaller girlfriend didn't feel feel my dick slipping out I'm confused girlfriend seems to really enjoy the sex with me but she didn't feel it slip out during her on top. She kept grinding and moaned. After a bit I put it back in how did she not feel that I'm getting insecure. Yeah look this is because um, like we yeah women like there's not like there's a feeling of fullness but like honestly like if they're kind of working on their own orgasm like what's happening on the exterior is more important on the clit. And so forth and so like yeah I mean she's not focused on that sensation. She could tell like there's less fullness there. But it's it's not It's not as important. Um, yeah I mean she's grinding on you 1 commenter says this is right? Ah good commenters today actually people are getting these answers reasonably yeah, it's so it's not like a it's not like a. I was kidding it before when I said it's a small penis question. It's not really like ah a small pekinis issue. It's it's just ah, this is just um, yeah, that she doesn't actually care like men men want you know their penis inserting in the vagina to be like this amazing experience for the woman but like it just isn't I mean it's fine. It's good. But like the thing that actually like gets them over the top is ah, kind of in the front there. It's the clit for the most part. Okay, next question do guys look at girls assholes while having sex. Well it depends I mean you can't if you're in missionary right? okay. Want to give him the best sex who doesn't but I'm scared well I mean obviously it's unprotected then right if it was protected. It can't be the best because of his evolution I'm scared that he'll see my asshole. He tries to give me oral sex. But then I stop him because he might see my asshole. What should I do yeah this is do guys really look at a girl's Asshole. You can't not as a guy right? I mean this is like kind of this is one of the things that women have to like you know deal with I think women, you know it's yeah, women's bodies in some ways wind up being more public than men's.
  • [52:55] Mike: Don't have as much protection in that way. I mean like women's breasts men don't have a body part like that that sort of juts out. They like you can't kind of hide. There was a recent I read some interview with about a with her about 1 of the senators senators cinema from Arizona see. Well endowed woman. She talks about how she feels like her breast size helps her in negotiations with other senators I could see that I mean men can't it's there. You can't hide it. It's very difficult for a woman to hide it and this is another way that happens right? I mean like obviously not this wouldn't help in a senate negotiation unless something really strange was happening. But um, yeah I mean women you can't like you you know men have the advantage that like your orogenous part is kind of sticking out from your body It's not um, it doesn't necessitate visibility of the butthole. But there's so many positions with a. Male female sex where you will see it that it's really I mean a woman basically just has to get over this? Um, probably some women just don't I mean you get see a lot of questions about women who are worried about cleanliness which makes sense they should be worried about that but not like petrified of it taking a shower is plenty good and I mean people don't have to do analingus. You can just sort of. Make it. So it's not terrible and like the other thing about this is like just take a look at porn like men are pretty used to seeing it and I have to say that like okay, there's always like kind of freaks out there. You'll watch ah comments on pole I don't read too much comments on too many of the comments on porn but like. There are guys that like focus on this and they want to see the butthole a lot. But um I think most men just sort of tune it out. That's not what they're looking at not their primary point of interest and so yeah I mean you can just like you assure yourself that this guy's seen like men are. A kind of amateur female proctologist. They've seen a lot of female anuses. So you know I wouldn't worry about it. Okay, next question. Ah my girlfriend called me disgusting and accused me of cheating for using a flashlight fuck. Just searching for flashlights as I said on Amazon I don't know why I was buying something totally unrelated but I just you know I'm always always got it on my head my my brain I don't have one maybe I should get one I shouldn't say that a listener probably send us 1 okay, my girlfriend and I have been together for one year last night I tried initiating sex with her but she told me no. And big deal I went into our room to masturbate she walked in on me and saw me with fresh light. Okay I mean I see the problem she started screaming at me. Okay, that's unnecessary telling me that I was disgusting for even owning something like that and it was the same thing as cheating. That's not true I tried telling her that she has toys of her own.
  • [55:41] Mike: That's interesting which told me those are not the same she left crying and went home well has it their room like in plural. Okay I tried texting her but she's not responding what do I do ah they actually actually answers these questions about it her house their house. Whatever um. Yeah, he says he doesn't use it often because it's cleaning. It's annoying that makes sense. It's every few months kind of thing. Yeah I mean look ah my advice I don't think okay I think this fits into the category of like we've had like topics in the past where like or like the topic of like there's certain male behaviors that like kind of. A good example of this is like if you have an mm fthreeome and like you do something with the other guy it kind of grosses a woman out like I think that men using sex toys is like that. It's like emasculating in some way and so like as a guy I would be careful about that. Um, it's not fair, but I just think it's like the reality of. How it works that women don't want to see a guy doing that and it kind of grosses them out and it's a double standard but there are a lot of double standards in life and I mean sex in particular has a lot of double standards like women get to be more selective than men do on these things. Um. And so yeah I yeah I mean I don't think obviously she's overreacting and being kind of crazy. But that being said I don't I think the vast majority of women seeing this would not like it just like the vast majority of women wouldn't like to see a guy have sex with another man or like exhibit some other like kind of in their mind. Feminine behavior and I think using a toy. View is kind of feminine typically I realize there're going to be some women who say no no no I'm very enlightened and that's great. But I'm just saying in stereotypical general terms here. Okay, next question, my boyfriend really wants to have sex with me. Oh wait. My boyfriend really wants to have sex with me him. And bring another man. Oh and I suggested somebody and he went ballistic. So my boyfriend wants to watch me have sex with 2 men at once which sort of surprised me the old wobbly h what if he wants the wobbly h or the dp or yeah, what's he want there. okay but it's okay I can learn to deal with it I would do it to make him happy and because I really want to have sex with him and another woman so this is not usually how this works right? So the woman wants the Mfl and the guy wants the um mmf that is backward but okay, it's strange. Well I suggested somebody then he said can't be someone I know already. That's he he doesn't want you know he doesn't want her but but cheating on him. It has to be somebody I'll never see again and then he picks the ugliest people like you won't pick anyone I'm attracted to okay also he wants to pick the other woman. What? Okay well I'm now confused because it's like is it a threesome of 4 on what's going on here. Ah I don't think.
  • [58:26] Mike: I think in almost all cases a woman does not want to have an mm f threesome. Um, like she's this is like kind of unclear because it's unclear if like it's him and another guy or if it's that she wants him. He wants to see her with 2 guys. So it's sort of Kuck olding fantasy regardless like these things are pretty tricky. If you get involved in this. You're very likely to kind of disrupt your relationship with this guy. Um, and it's fair to like wonder like if what's going on with this guy. This is what he's asking for um, also like it's amazing to me the extent to which women like this just shows I mean there's an element of showing. Female indifference to like the specifics of sex acts here like she's just like I don't really care like a man would care like if it was like and I think this is true. A lot of women would just be like oh all, right? Like if you know if that's what you really want whereas a guy like if if. Her if his girlfriend was like what I really want I just want to see you with 2 other dudes being spit roasted I think guys would just be like no like they would have a strong opinion about it as the point some guys might really want to do it. But again it would be a strong opinion or as a woman you know it's going to be kind of it's kind of ah not as strong. Ah, so so that's where I'm on that. Okay I got 1 more question we're running out of time and how long how long does it normally take a man to orgasm from a hand job long time. That's the answer question I tried to give my boyfriend a hand job for the first time last night. Ah, big mistake. She's gonna need some more arm strength make sure you use a a good position to be able to keep keep it up. We had been making out and he had already made me come by fingering me so I wanted to return the favor. Yeah I mean it's physically a lot easier for a guy to do this to a woman than a woman to do it to a man unless you're like in the right physical position. She might even know. Yeah, it's tricky. Um I'm not ready for p I v or oral sex yet. Ah very young I asked him to show me how he gets off and then I tried to mimic the motions. Honestly, the angle was really awkward see like I said and my hand got tired pretty quickly I'd say after a few minutes he was clearly enjoying but was not able to come. Was clearly frustrating him a little not frustrated at me but at himself it's like damn it damn it. Why am I not coming eventually had to take over and finish off himself I just want to know if this is normal. Do I need to build up endurance or develop better technique here's my advice to you lady is a young lady is you need to. Use another body part. Um, you're gonna have trouble doing this Ah yeah, like there. Yeah I mean you can do a position where you like where you're doing more what the guide is and I I mean like something like where he's basically sitting in front of you or you're right behind him.
  • [01:01:16] Mike: Which is kind of creepy and you're kind of reaching around him like that way, you're at least doing physically what he's doing but you're still not because like his body's in the way. But if you're like in front of him. It's tricky like just look at porn There's not a whole lot of porn of women being able to successfully do this? Um, you know, ah someone who might know how and how this works really well. Then thinking about it is like a person who works at like an asian machine I shouldn't say asian just a massage parlor like a rub and tug they're probably pretty good at it. So there must be a technique that you can sort of get there I'm guessing a lot of lubrication and yeah, maybe having the guy lie on his back like on a massage table and having the woman sort of standing would be more amenable. Have seen videos like that before but I think like the typical thing is she's to the woman's Goingnna want like more closeness physical closeness like you know so she's going to be kind of in front of him. She's going to pick a bad position. It's gonna be hard and like that's not what he wants anyway. Look he wants. This is the thing is he doesn't want his nut all over your hand He's seen his nut on hands. Plenty. Thing that a young man has a lot of experience with he wants soon is not in your let's say mouth. That's where he wants it and in the mouth. So just do that because then he'll be happier and and you will too because it'll work. Well so that's my advice like yeah, it's not It's not a. It's not going to work that well it's gonna be tricky and difficult all right? So that's episode 64 of your mileage may vary. Thank you if you've persevered through to the end. Um, we will be back I'm sure with Keith he's flying back as I speak from the. Aisles of the caribbean so we'll be back in full forest next week um be sure to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or whatever podcast app you use you can send us questions, feedback complaints, etc. Wymin vpod at http://gmail.com you can tweet us at. Ah, wymin vpod we have that chorus space Facebook group. We've got all the social media stuff. Um, and yeah I mean we we look forward to hearing from people and as always tell a friend and help the show grow. So we can become the number one sex and relationship show. Thank you and see you next week