Your Mileage May Vary: Female Sexuality: Superpower Or Curse? Toys Too Soon, Unfortunate Fetishes, Being Too Wet

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships using candor and humor that is sometimes controversial but usually in good faith today. We're going to talk a little more about and apologize about this in advance but face farting also a woman who can't tolerate penetration.
[00:14] Mike: Ah.
[00:39] Keith: After she orgasms a woman bringing a sex toy to her None hookup with a new partner and more I'm Keith my co-host is Mike welcome Mike yeah, we can look forward to that facearding content. But None we've been discussing offline a little bit about.
[00:38] Mike: Thanks Keith.
[01:17] Keith: This I don't know exactly what to call her I suppose public intellectual her Twitter handle is ella girl a ELL a underscore girl and okay.
[01:26] Mike: Um, oh I actually know that name now that you say it with the a okay go on.
[01:52] Keith: Yeah, it's supposed to be a a girl or I'm not sure how to pronounce it her None of her early claims to fame was nine years ago she made a post to the gone wild subreddit and. It was for years the top ever post on gone wild. So I've just messaged it to you. Do you see it all right? So you you should you should click through it goes to an.
[02:25] Mike: Right? I'm opening it right now I I'm familiar. Ah, but just a picture Oh got it? Okay, it's I have to tell it'm over eighteen Yeah I've definitely seen this gallery before I um.
[02:58] Keith: Like ah yeah, click through it goes to an immigrant gallery.
[03:04] Mike: And oh yeah I don't like this right? It's because right it's the one where she poses with a set of like little figurines of ah maybe like Christmas dwarves or something and it's not um, it's actually not compelling like it starts off I mean she's sort of naked and stuff and you're like oh this is going to be okay and then it's actually not that compelling.
[03:31] Keith: The 7 dwarfs. Yeah.
[03:54] Keith: Yeah I think it's the combination of her conventional attractiveness and she does this sort of humor thing where the dwarves I don't know if they're assaulting her or.
[03:42] Mike: But okay, yeah.
[04:29] Keith: What exactly they're doing but they they sort of pull her out of the room and it's it's mildly entertaining and she's completely naked and she's in very good shape and so for a long time. It was the number one post on gone wild. She ah is now I think more famous for being a.
[04:35] Mike: Okay.
[05:04] Keith: Public intellectual she has over 100000 followers on Twitter and she posts some sort of controversial stuff from time to time she posted an essay. The reason why she came up amongst us was she posted an essay. Think this essay is from like None so 2017 or something but I sent it to the other day and we've been discussing it a little bit since and we thought it might make for some good content here right? So maybe the place to start is there's a.
[05:37] Mike: Yes.
[06:11] Keith: Segment here that'll take me I think about a minute to read and it sort of sets up the premise of her essay in a way that I think will be enough to carry on her own discussion of it. So are you ready? Okay, all right She says I think the sense of unease among women.
[06:21] Mike: Yes, definitely.
[06:50] Keith: For this sexual gaze comes from something a bit deeper deeper men want sex from women really really badly women have the power particularly in today's society to give it to them or withhold when women have this thing and she capitalizes thing that men want and men have to submit earn beg work steal to get it. This creates a fundamental inequity inequality and interactions. The problem is a power imbalance a woman thinks is this man interacting with me for me or is he after the thing I have that he wants a woman has to make sure she's not accidentally using the thing men want in order to manipulate men. Woman has to be wary of men upset about her having the thing and lashing out or taking it by force a woman has to deal with men focusing on the thing she has rather than all of her other accomplishments and finally a woman has to deal with the feeling that her worth to society depends on how much of the thing she has that society only really values the thing. That the rest of her doesn't really matter to society. So I'll stop there. Why don't you kick us off here.
[08:40] Mike: Yeah I mean I think as a general matter I find I find this an interesting um line of reasoning because she she's basically separating her personality or persona into 2 parts right? She's basically saying. That Ah, she or she's saying women feel like they are ah you know, just just a person you know and in in the way in the way a man is just a person I mean like like men have obviously multiple elements to who they are and so forth. But but you you know you in some ways like um, the the. In a sexual context The who a man is is is more basic than it is for a woman because male attractiveness clusters more around some kind of midpoint I mean men. It's it's harder for a man to be super attractive or super unattractive. Well maybe super unattractive is doable but like most men are just kind of guys right? So it's you know so men therefore. When they interact with another person can be pretty sure that they're just being interacted with as this personality this person who has various traits Accomplishments Whatever whereas for a woman. You know there's this second part which is you're a person that has that's. Equivalent to a man in that regard and then you have this thing that makes it so that that's that's very desirable that other people want and so you know so the obvious right? and so the obvious corollaries let's say in a work context if a woman is being interviewed for a job she then asked to ask herself Well is this person.
[11:35] Keith: Ah, very very badly.
[11:46] Mike: Asking me questions because he wants to understand how I would deal with this work situation or is this guy just trying to get the thing which obviously sex for me and I think that's I think I think there's like something profound or it's relative. Maybe not profound but it's like it's I think it's right. It's a reasonable way to look at it that basically women have this. Ah, challenge of differentiating or discerning ah discerning what what people are after all the time and that basically forces them to be on a guard in a way that that the men do not have to be forced on guard put on guard is is that sort of your read of this.
[13:04] Keith: Yeah I think the intention of every interaction has to be called into question because men so desperately want to. To have sex and so if you are especially if you're a sexually attractive person that's almost always going to be the number one priority for people interacting with you even in completely nonsexual experiences and um. I'm sure that could accrete some frustration over time.
[14:02] Mike: Yeah I mean this even extends to just a friendship interaction I've a kind of standard thing that I've seen said to women is you know, even yeah let's say a woman has None male friends that she's just yeah. Friends like I would be friends with a woman but then if somebody challenges her and says well okay, but let's say you took a random one of those None and you said hey I want to give you a blowjob like would he say no and I mean it's possibly. We'd say no, but it's not ah, it's not necessarily.
[15:28] Keith: Yeah I mean you can get it to you can get it to 100% that they would say yes if you say something like have you ever thought about me blowing you like there may be various circumstances that create that cause a man to say no to a beautiful woman. But.
[15:14] Mike: As likely as it is if you turn the tables if I'm if yeah.
[16:08] Keith: They would not be because of his baseal instinct his baseal Instinct is to say yes to any sexual situation that is presented to him from someone that they have vetted as sexually attractive.
[16:16] Mike: Right? So is so is there any way for a man to actually understand I guess it should also be noted that this thing that she's talking about she doesn't say this in her commentary. But this thing that she's talking about is something that has a lifespan and so.
[16:59] Keith: Yeah.
[16:49] Mike: Obviously a woman past a certain age like no longer has the thing and that's kind of interesting. So It means that women all women who live long enough I think that's right, all women who live long enough is right will see what it's like to not have it of course when they're children they would remember what it was like to be. I Guess quote unquote normal and did not have that thing and later in life they will experience that because people will stop pursuing them and they they will stop expecting that sort of Pursuit. So It's not like they will never have that but but but I'm curious if you think that there is and she talks a little bit about this later in the the article and we can link of course the article in.
[18:12] Keith: Yeah, and the gone wild thread.
[17:57] Mike: Show notes so people can click on it and read the whole thing but is there something is there a way from ah for sure is there a way for men to have any sort of either have this experience just to know what it's like or a way for a man to understand at least intellectually. Intellectually, you can just imagine it. But I mean is there a way to go beyond that and just sort of have this experience and I'm thinking like maybe there's something in your life where you've had you felt you like you were like this like being a relatively tall white man in certain countries or maybe having money in a certain country or I don't know.
[19:01] Keith: Ah, sure.
[19:14] Keith: Um I think it's I think it's hard to get to simulate an experience that is as pervasive and constant as the experience for an attractive woman. But I've gotten unwanted attention from people before.
[19:02] Mike: Something like this that you've experienced.
[19:51] Keith: And it's can be sort of frustrating. You know if you.
[19:43] Mike: But this isn't unwanted attention right? This is a little bit different from that This is an interaction where ah or something pervasive where your interactions. It's always this ambiguity as to whether ah the person is interacting with you as.
[20:24] Keith: So yeah.
[20:18] Mike: Person 1 or person 2 where person 2 is the attractive person they want to have sex with and person 1 is just a person right.
[20:41] Keith: Yeah, yeah I don't know I mean I've yeah I was thinking I could create a situation where I'm trying to interact with someone in a nonsexual way and they're just insisting that everything be. Ah. Cast in that light and that's that's frustrating, but you're right? That's not really the same thing I've been to places where I don't know. For example I'm waiting in line at a hotel and they open another counter to speed the lineup and they just call me up instead of the rest of the people in the line who look differently from me.
[21:40] Mike: Car.
[21:57] Keith: And but but I don't know that could be some sort of white privilege. But but it's I don't know that's something like you know, being chosen for the way you look which is not something a male.
[21:54] Mike: Right.
[22:33] Keith: Experiences very often right? Yes I'm sure I'm recognized the world over by by all of our listeners.
[22:17] Mike: Could also be sex ah podcaster privilege they might have known your profession the for sure. Ah, so that's right, The um we have ah listeners all around the world.
[23:05] Keith: We do. It's true. We're still waiting for that ant Arctic listener. Yeah.
[22:53] Mike: Ah, we have a a map that shows us we we encompass the globe every time zone is covered I think that's actually interesting question but pretty much every time zone now we haven't had an antarc to listen. Um, but yeah, yeah I mean I think ah the the obvious ones that come to my mind although it wouldn't be as pervasive. Pervasiveness I think might be impossible actually for a man to accomplish it unless it was something like something preposterous like a man that's wealthy and has a lot of food and like a Famine-stricken Village or something like then Okay, fine. Maybe you would It would be like well do you want to.
[24:06] Keith: Sure yeah, or you're Mick Jagger or something.
[24:02] Mike: Well that well that was what I was going to is even well even if you were a rock star or an athlete athlete sports star Even then I don't think you would achieve the same level of pervasive attention I Think the only thing you could get to as a man would be um, a lot of attention.
[24:27] Keith: So.
[24:50] Keith: Yeah.
[24:38] Mike: But there but the but the the level the thing she's talking about is actually I think virtually 100% of men like this is the point is that yeah virtually say more than 50% of men in any situation would be willing to have sex with her immediately if they were or more or less immediately if if she was.
[25:17] Keith: Right? Well yeah, and every conversation she doesn't know but she knows she knows but I think a lot of women who haven't codified this in their mind might not and might feel some confusion and frustration about this but it's.
[25:12] Mike: If you were willing to in various conditions were met.
[25:56] Keith: Can be difficult to tell if they're just flirting with you or actually interested in the substance of your character and the answer for particularly attractive women is almost always going to be. Yeah, it's sexual interest and not character interest now that could offer certain advantages right? Like if you're trying to get a job for example. Um, although you can imagine situations where it can be disadvantageous too. But yeah I mean it's ah I think I prefer I think.
[26:19] Mike: Sure.
[27:01] Keith: Um, pretty narcissistic. But I think I prefer the male experience here.
[26:52] Mike: I think well I think it would depend on I mean there's it. So there's a related thing here which is she she goes on to talk about and we talked about this a little on the last episode she goes on to talk about the um ah the notion that if you removed this reality. That maybe women would have be more interested in casual sex. There are other things she would want to have removed as well as I think that's the thing we talked about last last week was like the shame dimension like whether people whether a woman's quote unquote body count going up lowers her values a person which you know honestly like culturally I think in all cultures. Basically it does.
[27:51] Keith: All right.
[28:18] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[28:09] Mike: And women sort of impose that on themselves too. So I think that's just a reality of that. Um, but yeah, so so so there is like this whereas if you so one difficult thing to do to imagine would be as a man if you retained the same interest in sex and sex drive. Ah, that you have as a normal man in this sort of magic situation or this super you know superhero situation where you were treated the way a woman is well it actually could seem kind of awesome because now you basically have unlimited access to sexual variety anytime you want. However I don't think that's actually how with that would work and my read on. Most ah ah people who are sort of in this situation whether it's stars of some kind or athletes or whatever maybe maybe some sort of politicians as it actually tends to I think for men lower their interest. Ah famously I was just reading an article about how the lead singer of aerosmith Stephen Tyler
[30:13] Keith: Ah.
[29:57] Mike: Would often prefer drugs to women like it was standard thing for ammy just be like no, he'd be like ah can you get over here and the woman thinks she's Goingnna have sex with me. He's like oh bring bring the bring the cocaine or whatever his drug of choice was yeah.
[30:31] Keith: Yeah, yeah I think there's something about the pursuit when we mention this briefly in the past well extensively in the past. Even there's something about the pursuit that is I think a requirement for male Arousal or effectively.
[30:32] Mike: Yeah.
[31:10] Keith: Requirement And so yeah I mean you think about like Vr porn or like the perfect sex robot you would have to simulate the right amount of resistance to.
[31:13] Mike: So in this context, how could you understand women like for example, wouldn't it be reasonable given her criticism or her characterization of the female condition to expect women to basically have a well figureed out strategy for appearing less attractive in many situations to basically try to reduce this and. And be able to move be have have a bow my by Modal existence In other words like why does the cosmetics industry and everything try to push the other direction if this is ah yeah.
[32:08] Keith: I Understand the question. Well, she mentions this at least briefly.. There's so much pressure to maximize the thing that yeah I think your brain gets trained. Toward doing that There might also be some genetic reasons. Why people are compelled to maximize their attractiveness.
[32:58] Mike: So basically desire to get the best partner causes you to perhaps erroneously in a modern society maximize your attractiveness.
[33:29] Keith: Well, it depends on what you want look I suspect that the experience of women in their mid to late 30 s going from being extremely beautiful to somewhat beautiful to attractive. But yeah to. Sort of not sexually desirable I suspect that is not a fun experience and I suspect the experience going in the other direction almost regardless of where you start is is pretty positive and so I think that's natural but just.
[34:01] Mike: Right.
[34:46] Keith: For the sake of the thought experiment. Um, yeah, it'd be interesting to see if there are various things where being less attractive has more positive outcomes than than being more attractive applying for I don't know. Some sort of extremely serious job where maybe your attractiveness could betray some you know, negative qualities I'm not Sure. Do you understand what I'm saying.
[35:30] Mike: Yeah I mean well obviously yeah I do there is no rush among women to sort of scarify their bodies or to sort of become less attractive if you if you if you exclude the sort of in the previous the most recent decades move toward women and getting tattoos which I don't think is about.
[35:56] Keith: Right.
[36:07] Mike: That I don't think you're trying to make themselves less attractive. It's more just like an artistic expression thing. Um, so yeah I don't I don't That's that's obviously not a direction that yeah.
[36:33] Keith: Well let's let's try to think of a scenario where they would want to be less attractive one just came to my mind and talked myself into it and then out of it. But the thought was a lot of times a gaggle of women will get together to go to a bar and they just want to go and chat with their friends.
[36:46] Mike: Is.
[37:12] Keith: And you know have a few drinks. They're not there to pick up men that might be like a a you know tertiary objective or something but you know in that situation. It could be useful to put a mask on. Ah.
[37:06] Mike: Um, dur.
[37:49] Keith: So to speak and be less attractive. But the reason why I talked myself out of it is yeah I mean I think it is often the case that they're not there to pick up men but a big part of going out for women I think is to you know quote unquote look cute and it's you know. Maybe it's not for men. Maybe it's for themselves or their friends. But yeah, so much of the female experience is built around amplifying their attractiveness and it's not just for men. It's not always sexual and so I don't know I'm having problems coming up with a situation where. Ah, woman would voluntarily want to look worse.
[38:50] Mike: Right? And there also are I mean look there's a set of jobs. Even if you said well hey I'm going to go get a job where attractiveness is irrelevant and so therefore I want to eliminate this thing so that that I'm I'm treated in the same way as a man.
[39:31] Keith: Um, yeah.
[39:21] Mike: Um, there are ah whole categories of jobs where men are actually just better at the jobs anything involving physical strength. For example I mean men are actually are larger and physically stronger than women and so um, yeah I mean so so you so in some ways you are reducing concretely your your value.
[39:45] Keith: Sure.
[39:54] Mike: Ah, without necessarily upping some other piece of value. So so it it would it would be hard to convince I think a woman to give up that that thing because there could be certain advantages and men do also have certain advantages and so you know it's like um, you're not, You're not, You're not giving them an advantage in return for doing that.
[40:30] Keith: Yeah. What? what? about.
[40:29] Mike: Unless they were to go like full transsexual and like take steroids and then become stronger and that could be very interesting.
[40:51] Keith: Sure Yeah, but I'm yeah I'm trying to construe his situation. Okay, so like a waitress you might say could get exhausted by men constantly flirting with them and you know asking them what they're doing after work and. All this sorts of nonsense and so you might say like oh well, you know, maybe they would volunteer to dress themselves down for that kind of job but they don't They don't want to do that because that'll affect their tips that'll affect people's that will affect. People's perceived experience of them and so all right? So that that one doesn't work what about like let's say you work.
[41:32] Mike: It does.
[41:45] Mike: He the myth. Ah yeah.
[42:06] Keith: Let's say you work at the Dmv and you just see customers all day and you don't there's there's no tipping. There's no chance of tipping I think even in that situation. It would be a pretty jarring experience for an attractive women to. Deatractify herself I think she would find yeah like everyone's being a little bit meaner everyone's being a little bit more short with me. Everyone's a little bit less patient. And yeah.
[42:44] Mike: Yeah I think that's possible I was going to say that the mythbusters did a test on the breast size waitress or was actually somebody behind a counter experience and they found that it did affect tips. The largest breasts? Yes, yeah, right? They did like you know, prosthetic or whatever and um, ah.
[43:20] Keith: They use the same woman. Okay, yeah.
[43:24] Mike: And they found that the tips from women actually also were higher if the woman had larger breasts whether it was they they felt for her or whether it was just yeah I mean that that like everybody appreciates attractiveness.
[43:41] Keith: You choose.
[43:53] Keith: Yeah I mean attractiveness is valued. It's the same men to men I can't remember I've read that in the past I don't remember the setups of the studies. But yeah attractiveness matters.
[44:00] Mike: Yeah, and also I mean they're like ah there there are plenty of women who make Tiktok videos where they go through their tips ah including women who work at like places like hooters.
[44:33] Keith: No yeah.
[44:24] Mike: Ah, yeah, and you can see they're very there look there I mean why wouldn't you want to make more money. It's an obvious way that you can make more money and they do. In fact, do quite Well I mean women can make a lot of money in tips at Hooterss So it's kind of lame on some level but it's on the flipside. It's a thing a man simply cannot do to make money. So.
[45:00] Keith: Yeah.
[45:12] Keith: Right? All right? Let's move on back to face faring. So here we go. Yeah for people who didn't listen to last episode This is relevant to last episode. That's why I'm bringing this up I don't plan on bringing up.
[45:03] Mike: There's a positive. Anyhow.
[45:49] Keith: Gross out stuff more than once every few episodes all right. This person says my boyfriend has a weird fetish guess what it is in 99 out of 100 ways I love this man but I don't know if this is a deal breaker help I don't know how else to put it so I'm just going to say it like it is this motherfucker wants to fart on my face.
[46:06] Mike: Um.
[46:23] Keith: Um, the one who started us up the slippery slope of ass eating I figured you eat my ass I'll eat your ass. Everybody's salads toss boom that's as nasty as we get 1 day this man kind of farted when I was eating his butt. It kind of shocked me but I thought he was mortified since he stiffened up and it got real quiet and I just kept going can't say I haven't queaved in his face before it's sex weird things happen sometimes.
[46:41] Mike: Jesus.
[47:02] Keith: You keep it moving. He wasn't fucking mortified he was turned the fuck on apparently that was a calculated fart. We had this bigass discussion last night he wants to fart in my face like as a routine thing he says he dreams of it nonstop I don't know what to do I'm not down for that I was a trooper for None fart singular fart I'm fluggy to have survived. Happening again. We've been through everything though since high school and I don't know what to do I know this reads funny it does like I get that. But but out yourself in my but put yourself in my shoes. There's nine years I'm not sure if I'm going to walk away from or what I'm not down with his fetish but I feel guilty as fuck for walking away. For that None thing but he's telling me he doesn't even come without thinking of it now anyone else been through anything like this. What do I do ah now I have not suffered the indignity of someone demanding me to perform some sort of disgustingly.
[48:17] Mike: Have you been through something like this Keith.
[48:57] Keith: Submissive act in order to enjoy sex I don't know I mean let's just let's just whiteboard other possible theories. What could it be.
[48:43] Mike: Is that oh is that what this is is this ah is is that why this attractive to the guy you think.
[49:09] Mike: Um I I Yeah gosh I don't know I mean I like I I didn't I didn't first peg This is like a dominant submission thing. But I guess it obviously is so you're probably right for some reason I just had it as just some sort of weird. Like kind of German Schisaporn addiction or something which I don't know if that's always addiction or rather a so a submission or it can be just somebody who's into like poop. Ah so I guess I thought of along those lines but it's fair, The like I mean maybe there's no real difference like if you're in yeah.
[50:08] Keith: Mmm yeah.
[50:23] Keith: Yeah.
[50:38] Keith: Yeah I think they're all ah in the submissive tree. Ah yeah I don't know I mean look I'm not into ass heating I'm not into scat play and so I don't don't understand.
[50:28] Mike: Hard to be with one without the other.
[50:55] Mike: Scat play.
[51:17] Keith: Ah, the intrigues that people can feel emanating from that region be it solid liquid or gas and so it's just confusing to me. Um, ah.
[51:25] Mike: There used to be a ah website called http://shitcity.com and their tagline was and you could probably find it on the way back machine if people want shit city's tagline was we shit on everything and they did they shat on everything and I used to.
[52:06] Keith: I bought and posted pictures.
[51:59] Mike: Ah, oh videos everything just it was just poo everywhere. Um, it was sort of a follow on there was one before that called farm teens which was pretty brutal I'm just saying follow in the sense in my life. The the ones you would use as like kind of gross outsides anyway, shit city several times I went to an Apple store and helpfully.
[52:24] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[52:47] Keith: Oh that's really considerate. Yeah, good work.
[52:33] Mike: Set the homepage on all the default but on all the browsers and the computers to shit city. So then so I mean yeah I'm sure that's so they of course they've you know since installed whatever firewalls they need to stop that kind of Shenaniganry. Yes, yes.
[53:08] Keith: Oh yeah, they have like a thousand person team agonizing over every pixel that you're allowed to click in the and the Apple store now.
[53:09] Mike: But yeah, maybe ten plus years ago you could do that and it was kind of an enjoyable little troll. Yeah.
[53:29] Keith: I went to I went to shit city right now and ironically or coincidentally I suppose it tries to open a link to Itunes I I declined I don't I don't know what's going to happen if I click ok there now.
[53:34] Mike: Yeah, they don't they no longer shit on everything. Yeah I mean this is it like I actually generally have had less exposure to this type of porn in the last like 10 years like it like mainstream has sort of become much more commonplace or something so you don't run into this stuff all the time but I know it's out there. Um.
[54:14] Keith: Yeah, you're growing up.
[54:14] Mike: And it's really hard to understand. Ah it does seem like maybe borderline mental illness for a person. But if if you go the dominant submission vein here. It's more understandable and so like then the advice to her might be something like well is there something else if it was dominant submission. Maybe there's something else they could do.
[55:07] Keith: Um, ah yeah I mean I think that's actually surprisingly remarkably good advice coming from you which is yeah I don't know what the you know instinctual.
[54:53] Mike: That would like get him that same thrill that doesn't have to involve poop or farts. Yeah.
[55:11] Mike: Yeah.
[55:42] Keith: Reason that this man thinks he wants this is but she should talk to him about that and maybe after they figure out what it is they can arrive at a place that isn't him letting loose in her face.
[55:43] Mike: Um, I feel I feel I feel bad for a guy who if she's telling the truth that the only way he can orgasm is to imagine himself farting in someone's face. That's that's too bad like so I mean just imagine what's going through your mind as you're whatever to get to get there.
[56:13] Keith: Yeah I know.
[56:32] Keith: Right? Yeah yeah I think generally women would prefer not to know to have any insight into the images flashing through their partners minds during orgasm or leading up to orgasm Sometimes they might.
[56:22] Mike: That's rough I mean it's just it's a lot of thinking about farting.
[56:50] Mike: Oh I don't know I mean I've seen yeah I've seen numerous posts where women are sort of flattered because the guy is well we we had 1 where we looked at it and the woman the guy had a picture we decided it was he'd done it as he quickly changed what he was looking at but the woman the woman thought he was looking at pictures of her. Okay, that's not.
[57:11] Keith: I mean look Okay, oh my God right? right.
[57:28] Mike: But but I mean if a what if a guy's thinking of her which could is believable. That's believable. Ah, you know that that's sort of flattering. So I think that if it's things like that. But if it's the grosser gets the worse I mean yeah, she doesn't want you to say hey when I'm beating off. Ah you know I I'm just imagining fucking a goat or like a hamster.
[57:46] Keith: Right? right.
[58:13] Keith: Right? or right or even something like Hugh Jackman right like you just don't yeah, there's there's some things that are are better kept kept ah obscured I think we're done with face farting for a while.
[58:06] Mike: Or something I mean that's just not like.
[58:27] Mike: Um, right, Good good.
[58:51] Keith: So let's move on. Ah, this woman says after coming as a woman do you still enjoy being penetrated to get him off my last partnerer got me off and continued to penetrate me I felt like I needed a break but didn't speak up because I wanted to get him off too. She means have him orgasm not get him off of her.
[58:51] Mike: Ah.
[59:27] Keith: And feel like he was trying to get a double orgasm or something I kind of felt like a doll for him to play with in that moment and ended up pushing him off me, he was very confused I'm just curious whether other women prefer to stop being penetrated after orgasm. So I brought this up longtime listeners will yes so the man No no, no sorry she has orgasmed and.
[59:36] Mike: Um, after the man's orgasm go on. Okay, okay.
[01:00:07] Keith: She is no longer enjoying being penetrated by him so this is sort of a reversal of the you know the male post-nut clarity thing. She has.
[01:00:05] Mike: Um, and she's she's characterizing her as just being a doll. Okay fine I thought I thought okay go on. Yeah.
[01:00:31] Keith: I fit she says I kind of felt like a doll from to play with. So I think the word you use to describe this experience is it. It starts feeling clinical, right? So in your post clarity when you lack arousal interacting with female Genitalia can start feeling. Clinical She says she feels like a doll for him to play with. But I think she's sort of describing the same thing here.
[01:00:50] Mike: Um I strongly suspect I strongly suspect that this happens to women a lot in other words that women for women it often feels can feel clinical because yeah.
[01:01:28] Keith: Okay, but.
[01:01:18] Mike: If Theirre arousals lower in general than men or they're less likely to have an orgasm in every encounter etc like I think this is a thing women probably have happen.
[01:01:39] Keith: Okay, yes, okay, setting aside your cynicism that women can enjoy sex at all. Ah, do you think? fine, fine fine. But do you think I mean this person is reporting some sort of cliff in her perceived ah arousal.
[01:01:37] Mike: No, no, no, no no I'm taking a percentage of the time but go on. Yeah.
[01:02:19] Keith: Immediately after orgasming and and 1 thing that I've found is kind of nice about women is that they don't have that same cliff in general as as men do but she seems to have it all the time and so I thought this was interesting.
[01:02:23] Mike: Right? right? I mean there's it's for men. There's a higher. It's It's not that I mean because I'll I'll get yelled at if I say oh,, there's a higher kind of you know Upward element of the cliff you climb higher. Exactly that I mean women can have you know and many people will say oh a woman's orgasm is much stronger than a man's I think they're around the same.. That's my I think that's the logical starting point to assume ah, but ah, but I do think that I mean it's fair to say I think that like the male desire.
[01:03:31] Keith: Ah, okay.
[01:03:36] Mike: It just so you know from what you see in society from the amount of pursuit that men do toward women is is is on some level higher and so then there's more to fall like in terms of he's really into it and then he's less into it and I think women like it's kind of a more gradual and more gentle situation and so. You're not experiencing this big comedown. But of course this woman is and I think you were going to mention earlier that you've had a partner in the past that had this that had this.
[01:04:35] Keith: Yeah I guess I forgot about her. Yes, she did have well her behavior implied She was having this exact experience right? As soon as she orcasmed and the issue with her was that she orgasmed very quickly after penetration.
[01:04:54] Mike: Yeah, and then actually this gets into there so this actually makes me think about something from last episode. We didn't explore as much as I would have liked to which is your dis relative dislike of masturbating in front of your partners which I wasn't aware of until last episode. Um because I have to say that.
[01:05:11] Keith: Usually within a few minutes
[01:05:26] Keith: Um, okay, well now that you've had some time to think about it.
[01:05:26] Mike: Yeah, not that I not that I'm like the kind of guy who's just going to like sit in a chair and beat off like while my partner's watching Tv or something and it's not that it's just it doesn't bother. Yeah, it doesn't yeah I don't have that level. Although there's something kind of fetishy and cool about that. But I don't have that level of interest. Ah, but it doesn't sort of bother me. Yeah well.
[01:05:53] Keith: That's called the Louis C k.
[01:06:07] Keith: Listeners could decide. Ah, ah well that that I mean you'd literally sound like you're parroting Louis C K here is like I thought they wanted me to.
[01:06:06] Mike: This is all consensual assuming it's consensual. Um, or.
[01:06:22] Mike: Look There has to be a situation where a woman can consent to a man beating off in front of her like that's silly if if if were not possible. Yeah, okay so with this partner given you It's actually kind of interesting interesting double bind. She doesn't want P I V anymore because she's finished.
[01:06:45] Keith: 5 I'm just tasing go on. Sorry.
[01:07:10] Keith: Whom.
[01:07:01] Mike: Ah, and you want to have an orgasm but you don't want to masturbate So I'm not sure what happens So I realize I realized that some of the time because I'm aware of this kind of amusing thing that some of the time you would try to just like come really fast before her post nut or whatever post.
[01:07:24] Keith: Where does where does that leave me when this occurs.
[01:07:44] Keith: Yeah.
[01:07:36] Mike: Would the word be. It's not nut but post something we have to think of a word there clarity comes in but your ah what? what it let's say you weren't fast enough then what are you just going blue Balls town really.
[01:08:11] Keith: Yeah I was yes I was I was more uncomfortable or leaving myself in the bathroom or whatever alternatives could have existed than I was with the physical blue Balls discomfort.
[01:08:20] Mike: Um, that is incredible to me. Wow You just? yeah, you're just not a very like there's some lack of dominance there like it just doesn't like because is this because she was not sorry I shouldn't say that's too strong but saying lack of dominance maybe but but this isn't. Is it that she was totally unwilling to do anything sexually with you at all after her areso but there could be something dominant like if you wanted to really dominate her. You could be like oh you're gonna you're going to have to like ah let me nut in your mouth.
[01:09:20] Keith: Yes, that was in in spirit if not exactly the experience. yeah I wonder yeah yeah I mean this person was gosh must be at least ten years ago now
[01:09:39] Mike: Um, okay.
[01:09:57] Keith: So I'm not sure how I would react now I think I mean yeah I was sort of this is you know it was long enough ago that I don't feel that embarrassed but but I think I was sort of simping for this person like I really liked them. This person has issues as you know. But I really liked them at the time and so I think I wasn't communicating I know I wasn't communicating my extreme irritation with her selfishness. Ah and our and our sex life and so I was just trying to I guess.
[01:10:43] Mike: Right.
[01:11:12] Keith: Mold my behavior to what I thought might work. Yeah, no, no I didn't I should have ah either or all or digital.
[01:11:01] Mike: Did you ever win the race with her did you ever did you ever come None and then like refuse to get her off so what would you do? Then when you came None what would happen.
[01:11:30] Mike: But oral would mean that you had your nut down there. Oh no.
[01:11:51] Keith: I Think yeah again, this is a while ago I think yeah, you're not going to like this. But for me this is better I think I was using a condom and so ah yeah to deal with some? Yes, yes Yes, the the and.
[01:12:00] Mike: But there's like a flavor associated with that.
[01:12:29] Keith: Ah, since it came up yeah with partners whom I'm spending a lot of time with ah I and who were using con and with whom I'm using condoms. I Will often start using condoms that don't have a lubricant on them so that if I'm going to go from vaginal to giving them or from piv to giving them oral the the residue from the. Lubricant that they put on condoms isn't there and it's not Great. You can still taste the Latex. It's not great, but it's better than if you're gagging down a bunch of spermicidal lubricant.
[01:13:34] Mike: Okay, okay.
[01:13:55] Mike: Right? So there's so there I mean I think that ultimately then this if a woman has this really strong post something clarity post something. Ah yeah, maybe it's because it doesn't exist. Keith.
[01:14:31] Keith: Yeah, there is no word for a female orgasm. Um, right? right? We should explore other languages So We if no culture has it then we'll have her answer.
[01:14:34] Mike: They're only words for things that exist the ah that's true. That's true. Um, So yeah, so so. But yeah I mean it's it. It actually is a prop.. It's almost like a dysfunction like if a woman has. The inability or Unwillingness. It's really strongly undesirable for her to continue sex after she orgasms. That's actually kind of a problem right? It's like a relationship problem. Yeah in the same way that ah maybe erectile dysfunction or um, some other similar male problem.
[01:15:39] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:16:05] Keith: Yeah, yeah, all right enough of that enough of that one. This person says man would it be okay if a woman you're hooking up with brought her toy along for the fun and hooking up with this guy for the None time in a few days.
[01:15:51] Mike: But actually be a relationship issue. Yeah.
[01:16:38] Keith: Was thinking if it might be a good idea at all to bring along my sex to and suggest we use it together So I actually struggle with reaching orgasm. What do you think about this gentleman is there a chance that he'll take it badly.
[01:16:48] Mike: There's a chance for sure. This makes me that's it's when you when you said when you tease this in the intro. It actually made me think of this video I saw I've seen several videos of a woman guess where I saw them? um my favorite social network now. Ah with.
[01:17:26] Keith: Oh tiktok Dude you gotta you gotta be careful there.
[01:17:19] Mike: Yeah, with ah vaginal dilators I limit it to only when I'm using the bathroom pretty much at this point. So it's yeah only it's only 30 minutes the ah right? So it's so she has some sort of a condition.
[01:17:42] Keith: What is a it's still 3 hours a day or whatever and what is it? What is a vaginal dilator.
[01:18:12] Keith: Oh right? Okay, okay, this is something that slowly stretches your vagina. Okay.
[01:17:58] Mike: There are a number of them. There's vaginismus. For example, where was she perhaps it could be physical yes and it could be. It could be physical. It could be psychological I think most of the time it's.
[01:18:41] Keith: Yeah.
[01:18:25] Mike: Well I mean is there a difference between physical and psychological. But I think it's I think most of the time it's like it's more psychological in the sense that if you were to anesthetize her and but put her to sleep for an hour. You probably could It wouldn't It's not that there's actually a physical blockage or something. It's it's it's tight muscles.
[01:19:01] Keith: An analogy I heard recently or probably read on Reddit is men struggling with erectile dysfunction young men struggling with erectile dysfunction. It's not that they can't get hard. It's that various psychological conditions create a situation where. They are unable and it could be the same for women who sometimes feel pain when when men penetrate them now this is going to sound like a lot of victim blaving here. So yeah, the the obvious disclaimer here is if it's painful to have sex then don't do it and um.
[01:19:26] Mike: Um, right.
[01:20:20] Keith: Maybe vaginal dilators can help people even those with psychological issues right in which case you need a vaginal Actually I think there's surgery you could get to make your vagina tighter treatment.
[01:20:11] Mike: Um, unless pain is your thing right? But ah this yeah, you were there a number of treatment options. But this woman's using ah dilators and ah yeah, and ah I've also seen videos with women Using. Talking about anal dilias which maybe we can talk about in a second but the the thing that surprised me with this woman. No no, it wasn't but hang On. Let's let's do the vaginal First. So the ah these the the vaginal ones this woman was using were very very very narrow like less than the Width of the diameter say of your pinky.
[01:21:05] Keith: Well, that's just a butt plug.
[01:21:27] Mike: That surprised me because I was thinking to myself I'm genuinely surprised I think I'm genuinely surprised that a woman could get her vaginal opening that tight that like something smaller than a pinky would. Have difficulty entering but obviously it did because she had a dilator of that size and so that was that was outside my sort of life life experience a little surprising and then she had another video where she graduated to the next larger one which was like also smaller than a pinky. So. It's like this is going to be a really really long process like I don't and and I guess I should describe them there.
[01:22:22] Keith: Far.
[01:22:39] Keith: A crayon. Yeah.
[01:22:39] Mike: Have a cylindrical kind of flat base that pokes out of that a cylinder that's got a relatively rounded point end and maybe maybe as long as like your point or finger. So it might be 2 to three inches maybe three inches long maybe four I don't know and you know in a.
[01:23:33] Keith: And.
[01:23:19] Mike: Joyful colors. Anyway, she was like giving updates. Of course it could all be fake because she may have just found that this gets her follow. You know, like and follow by just faking that she's doing this the anal. Yeah, she's cute but not wearing anything like low cut or anything. It's just she's just an attractive young woman.
[01:23:48] Keith: What was she wearing while she's presenting this on ticktock like how do they you can show this stuff and okay and she's speaking mad of matter offactly and showing the dilators themselves on camera.
[01:23:57] Mike: Yeah, there's a little bit of wink wingk no nod and also because one of the entertaining aspects of Tiktok of course is the fact that you can't talk about porn. You have to talk about corn. Ah you can't talk about your ah penis you have to say like well there there are various things people say.
[01:24:32] Keith: Ah.
[01:24:45] Keith: Okay, but it's basically a attractive young woman talking about how tight her vagina is right.
[01:24:34] Mike: Ah, to to avoid.
[01:24:43] Mike: When you say it that way when you say it that way. But this is this is so tight that like she can't have sex so it's not like it's but fair point fair point just like okay so I So yeah, you just upped my my.
[01:25:10] Keith: Okay, well I don't know if that's good to stop people from fantasizing but fair enough.
[01:25:19] Mike: Thinking the odds but she had the dilars This means that like oh you know, but fair enough like somebody to become a ticktock star. Maybe they're willing to invest in a set of maybe I'd be willing to invest in a set of dilators who would make me a ticktock star won't because if I went on and said I was dilating my anus people just be like did like what's wrong with you right.
[01:25:53] Keith: It won't sorry you could dilate your urethra.
[01:25:58] Mike: So this other woman for anal which maybe is more interesting similar story. She didn't show the dilators but she was describing the process and she said a couple interesting things. 1 is that you stop with a dilator that's just smaller than the guy's penis so I was like okay that's interesting.
[01:26:41] Keith: Hold on you promised you promised to explain the difference between a butt dilator and a butt plug.
[01:26:37] Mike: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, ah the the difference is that they're in a but pug is typically just like a single size or and it's just a plug you stick in and secondly um, the dilators are just cylinders. Ah so they're not.
[01:27:13] Keith: Aha.
[01:27:16] Mike: Ah, there's no like kind of bump in them whereas a butt plug I think typically has a bump in it to sort of hold it in So in other words, a little more barbell shaped where there's a bump on the inside and on the outside of her asshole to sort of like make it. So it stays whereas the dilator like the point of it isn't that it's a plug that stays in there. It's a thing that you can easily slide in and out. Um.
[01:28:05] Keith: Okay.
[01:27:56] Mike: To simply practice or train yourself because there are people who want to train themselves for this sort of thing does that make sense senses of difference. Okay, the thing I was having difficulty picturing with the anal dilator lady was.
[01:28:21] Keith: Yeah, it does.
[01:28:29] Mike: It it became clear that this was all happening during a sex session. So this isn't that she's like sitting at home doing this while watching Seinfeld reruns on her Tv this is like she's having sex with a guy and she's progressively inserting increasing size dilators into her butt to get rid.
[01:28:56] Keith: Ah.
[01:29:13] Keith: Wait Why oh.
[01:29:06] Mike: Because she's trying to give him anal sex or she actually her claim was of course that it's it would it was a little even more sort of strange there because she then claimed that she really really enjoys it once he's able to penetrate her with his penis but she only enjoys it for for 5 minutes
[01:29:49] Keith: Okay, all right. We I still want to understand. Okay, so she uses a dilator and then he tries to penetrate her and it doesn't work So then she she goes up a notch and then he tries again and then up a notch and then it works.
[01:29:40] Mike: Which made me a little skeptical.
[01:30:00] Mike: No no, this is that she has a series of anal dilators and she just knows that she's going to get to the one. That's one small size smaller than his penis and then she'll switch over his penis but during their.
[01:30:33] Keith: Oh she knows she has experience so she knows the size that she needs to get to. Okay.
[01:30:29] Mike: Right? And and so then ah, but it is a little hard for me to understand like what like yeah I mean are they watching Seinfeld together and he's beating off saying like what a what dilator are you up to honey. She's like I'm on the 5 He's like okay I'll just keep beating off.
[01:31:02] Keith: Right? And how long how long does she use each size.
[01:31:05] Mike: She didn't say that I mean they look these videos can't be that long or people will swipe away. Yeah.
[01:31:23] Keith: Sounds a little bit like have you ever made homemade pasta before okay well the machine that you roll the do through 4 4 starts with um like a fairly wide diameter and you roll it through and it swishes the pasta out and then you.
[01:31:18] Mike: Now.
[01:31:39] Mike: Okay.
[01:32:03] Keith: Turn it down a notch. You roll it through again as much as it out a little bit more again again again again and there's usually 6 settings.
[01:31:58] Mike: Isn't this isn't making homemade isn't making homemade pasta One of the things you do to like get chicks horny when you take them home. It is right now I think you've told I think you've said this on the podcast before. Yeah.
[01:32:23] Keith: Well I mean giving away all my tricks here that is a thing that I've I have done. Ah oh really? Okay, yeah, no I that homemade pasta is crowd pleasing. It's easy. You get your hands kind of dirty it. You know it's tastes good.
[01:32:41] Mike: What involves cylinders it involves different size cylinders involves sort of rubbing the cylinders. It sounds pretty good. Yeah, there's probably a lubrication component right to get it through the machine. Maybe you have to sort of like oil the cylinder.
[01:33:00] Keith: Lots of that's right? Yeah I could I can introduce the diliters and it won't be as awkward after. Yeah,, there's eggs and oil involved. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:33:22] Mike: Eggs look at this. You've got a cylinder and it's got eggs. So we're talking about. Ah yeah, sounds good. Okay, um yeah I don't I don't know how often maybe maybe a lot of women when you had your somewhat recent anal encounter. The the anus was.
[01:33:49] Keith: Yeah.
[01:34:04] Keith: Um, ah.
[01:33:56] Mike: Preprepared for you. There was nothing you needed to do to dilate the anus or you were not involved in the dilation routine. Okay, okay, okay, um.
[01:34:23] Keith: I was not and something. Yeah, it had been prepared I don't know if that's standard or not.
[01:34:31] Mike: I Think it might be I think my anal experiences from somewhat long ago were more painal in the sense. There was not correct preparation I mean there was lubrication but not like this sort of dilation preparation. So therefore maybe it was not as comfortable as you as it could be yeah.
[01:35:13] Keith: Yeah I don't know what the experience is like. Can there be an experience where it just doesn't fit and if it doesn't is that because the man's you know, not stiff enough or is it because the woman isn't prepared enough.
[01:35:30] Mike: I Think the answer is no, there cannot be a situation where it doesn't fit and that has in the the the evidence on that is the no, It's the diameter of feces the diameter of a human feces Controls How big hercanus can be and I don't think women produce feces.
[01:36:00] Keith: There's just the amount of pain is okay that are narrower than the largest cock.
[01:36:07] Mike: I Don't think it's common then yeah, it's like you wouldn't yeah I think typically a woman is capable of producing ah a poop that's bigger than your penis. It's sort of like when people say oh well if you I can fit a baby's head through there I can fit your penis. It's that thing like yeah, it's not.
[01:36:37] Keith: Okay.
[01:36:52] Keith: Right? right? All right? I'm gross out by this anal talk. But what about this woman who's bringing her toy to her None date I think that would rear. Yeah right.
[01:36:43] Mike: Mean Men's penises aren't actually that big president company excluded I guess.
[01:37:01] Mike: None sexual data I guess.
[01:37:25] Keith: Yeah, she says she's hooking up with the guy for the None time not necessarily their None date. Yeah I think it's a bad decision I think some men would be absolutely fine with it I would I would be fine but some men would be extremely emasculated and confused and bummed out.
[01:37:14] Mike: Um, that's a terrible decision I Think what do you think right.
[01:38:02] Keith: And but I mean a woman might say here Mike Okay so I should just subjugate my pleasure and ah to satisfy this man. Well, that's not very.
[01:37:48] Mike: What do you? Keith you? let's let's look.
[01:38:08] Mike: That's a reasonable point that's hang on. So let let me say that let's say that I told you let's say I offered you some money and I said Keith the next 3 women that you get to the None date with on tinder or whatever you have to bring a flashlight with you and use it.
[01:38:55] Keith: So right right.
[01:38:41] Mike: On yourself at some point it's say before you penetrate her and you could say to her hey I don't want to subjugate my pleasure etc. It's all the things she would say how do you think that would go.
[01:39:11] Keith: Ah, well obviously that would hope extremely poorly and and forget the None date you can make it the None right? like I mean at some point at some point you know, ah it would go from appalled to laughing at me. But.
[01:39:12] Mike: Right.
[01:39:29] Mike: Right? So when you say None you mean you mean you've had sex you've had so 97 sex involved dates right? Even then I think it would be a plausible thing that could happen and then the same way a woman could introduce a toy but having it on the first. It would not be as bad if a woman introduced it on the None sexual date. Although the man might think like.
[01:39:49] Keith: And either circumstance right? right? right? right? right.
[01:40:09] Mike: Wow you I think the natural reaction would be something like Wow you really don't You're not expecting me to like give me a shot or something right? You know you never know like maybe I just because your other partners and using your own fingers hasn't worked like give me a shot here. But so but but but for a man there would definitely did be a different.
[01:40:35] Keith: Right? right.
[01:40:48] Mike: Ah, different standard apply to a a fleshlight brought on the None sexual date would probably mean no sex right.
[01:41:11] Keith: Um, I mean that's I mean I suppose that's unfair, but it's perhaps somewhat justifiable a lot of women especially ah modern women struggle to masturbate without some sort of. Vibrating device and this is because they are more acceptable and I think you can get what what do they call it. It's what do?? What do we decide to call this about death Grip Death Grip is when men white claw right? Where women can't orgasm without the aid of ah.
[01:41:39] Mike: Okay, okay, okay, so but wouldn't that when oh it's it's white claw. Yeah.
[01:42:26] Keith: Electricity and ah.
[01:42:12] Mike: Right Wouldn wouldn't the analogy there be that you wanted to have a porn that you're watching on a camera or on a oculus device while you have sex on your first day you say hey look I have difficulty achieving orgasm without.
[01:42:47] Keith: M.
[01:43:01] Keith: I think men are expected to be able to work as comfortably on ah in a None state scenario and indeed if you cannot you may yeah I mean you are in the None percentile of ah.
[01:42:46] Mike: This certain porn that I like to watch.
[01:43:00] Mike: Right.
[01:43:37] Keith: Either sexual dysfunction or sexual advancement I'm not sure which it is.
[01:43:26] Mike: You yeah you ah 2 things on that you've said that you are confident that a woman would on a None sexual date but really any but let's say on the None sexual date with a woman that it's a real problem if you can't orgasm. It's sort of interesting. There is an amount of pressure on you.
[01:44:12] Keith: M.
[01:44:01] Mike: Ah, you've not but and you've never had that happen right? You've never not been able to get nut we on the None time with a woman right? Yeah, that's a little different. Yeah, right.
[01:44:27] Keith: Gosh yeah, not that I can remember I mean I've had some extremely drunken ah None hookups. But I think even in those situations I mean look it's a brand new partner. It's pretty arousing. Um, and.
[01:44:40] Mike: Right? So there's no problem there.
[01:45:00] Keith: Right? And and if I was so drunk that like I thought that there was yeah if I was that I guess at least with my body I can't get that drunk and still really be even interested in having sex if I'm if I'm if I'm capable of going through the motions of trying to have sex I can I can.
[01:45:07] Mike: Okay.
[01:45:37] Keith: Muster interaction. Sure sure sure sure. But.
[01:45:23] Mike: Yeah, but this is an erection. This is a ejaculation. Okay, in None encounter, you probably wearing a condos you probably could fake it. Ah if if necessary but ah yeah, it's interesting is is yeah.
[01:46:04] Keith: You could it would do a lot of psychological damage to lots of women and it shouldn't Everyone should be okay with men not always orgasming or always be able to stay hard I think it depends on the woman.
[01:46:06] Mike: You think it would do a lot of psychological damage.
[01:46:20] Mike: Her. It's interesting.
[01:46:38] Keith: I Think a fairly standard experience would be to feel unattractive or humiliated or some combination of both. They shouldn't.
[01:46:38] Mike: Even though he was what if do you think she would feel the same thing if he couldn't get an erection.
[01:47:05] Keith: I Mean there's a lot of context here is he drunk less So than I mean how old is he yeah wouldn't be great wouldn't be great I think I think a I think a well-read.
[01:46:59] Mike: Um, let's say no. 25 okay so Ed is really a problem.
[01:47:43] Keith: Ah, in the you know in the in the sex literature woman might be able to persuade herself that this is just something that happens from time to time and there's nothing to panic about. But I think even even someone like that in the back of her mind would be like huh I Wonder if this is something to do with me.
[01:48:03] Mike: Yeah, that's interesting. How ah it's interesting. How male erections are. It's like they're they're either a None a plus 10 in most situations, a male erection is a minus ten. It's a really bad thing in the swimming pool in the sauna in the shopping mall. Ah.
[01:48:22] Keith: And it's not fair. But I think that's the reality.
[01:48:59] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, well and if if you're someone who struggles with performance anxiety then this would be a particular problem right? I mean None sexual encounters can be a little bit stressful.
[01:48:43] Mike: Just almost anywhere. It's in my in the bathroom but in the sexual range. It's a plus ten like it's really, it's necessary. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure.
[01:49:36] Keith: You're a little bit nervous and so yeah I mean it's There's sort of a snowball effect here. That's not great.
[01:49:29] Mike: Yeah, it would be nice if women understood more the need to have some porn flashlight maybe other women to help him get aroused in that first sexual day to be useful. It's just like honey I just need 1 more woman woman.
[01:50:21] Keith: Right? Yeah, it's a it's a brutal situation. Do you want to try to do one more topic I'm worried that this will take too I'm trying to see if I oh I have a.
[01:50:05] Mike: We just go back to the club now.
[01:50:24] Mike: Um, yeah.
[01:50:59] Keith: It is a decent shortish one I think this person says a guy slept with told me I was too wet and seemed to be grossed out by it kind of embarrassing to poist this but I'm curious What you all think about this. Basically we were having sex after like a quick break after I had came.
[01:50:59] Mike: Yeah.
[01:51:37] Keith: And so annoying. Basically we were having sex and after like a quick break after I had come to switch positions. He stopped and wiped off his penis and then just asked for a hand job I was really disappointed because I was enjoying it but I was happy to do that for him so he could finish afterwards I asked why he stopped he said. Just said I was too wet I think he was grossed out by it and thought it was slimy or something I could tell he was embarrassed to say it. But I told him that being wet was a good sign that I enjoyed sex with him. We just laughed it off it really didn't hurt me because I know being wet is a good thing but now we are no longer having sex or talking for completely unrelated reasons.
[01:52:39] Mike: Um.
[01:52:57] Keith: I'm self-conscious about being too wet and that other guy will secretly be other guys will secretly be discussed by how wet I am it confused me what do you all? think. Thanks.
[01:53:01] Mike: I'm worried this is a euphemism What it? What do you? What's your thought. Ah for her being unattractively overweight. Yeah, so it's kind of like yeah.
[01:53:20] Keith: What do you mean? I don't know what? What do you mean?? you've missed him for what. Oh okay, can we can We can we? So can we table that maybe but let look for the sake of a more interesting discussion. Let's ignore that.
[01:53:36] Mike: Okay, fine. Yeah, okay well I'll just say that the issue there could be there could be a lot of fluid in just a lot of Folds of skin and stuff. That's that's basically what I'm thinking but let yeah, it's table That's fine. Yeah.
[01:54:11] Keith: Like I got it bike I understand stand your thought there I Just it's gross that I don't want to think about it. Sorry it's not gross. We're we're very sex positive period. It's it's not. It's not for some? Ah so.
[01:54:13] Mike: Yeah, okay now it's gross.
[01:54:48] Keith: Why did this man want to switch.
[01:54:37] Mike: Ah, okay so it can't be that um well I mean okay, you you said you said like ah like like it's ah a chess position that I have to find the right move. It's like okay if I put my night here does that check is King you're like maybe it's like all right? So the ah.
[01:55:11] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[01:55:17] Mike: Ah, so I'm thinking. Um, ah so there is the issue that ah you can be too wet in the sense that there's a little bit of friction is sort of necessary. Um, there also is the possibility that he's just inexperienced and.
[01:55:34] Keith: The single since since.
[01:55:46] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's set aside all this. Let's let's assume that he said what he actually thought which is that he thought he she was to it. Yeah.
[01:55:52] Mike: Has some sort of weird reaction. Oh that that she's too wet. Okay I feel like there's some answer you're looking for here us. Okay.
[01:56:24] Keith: I Mean like here I'll here's what I think I think it is possible to be too wet. There's some amount of normal lubrication and ah if there is an excessive amount. It's just so slippery that it reduces the amount of friction. Um that that.
[01:56:21] Mike: Okay.
[01:56:41] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[01:57:03] Keith: That that feels ideal and you know there's this sort of counteracting thing which is I think people are meant to think that you know being wet being sopping wet I'm dripping.
[01:56:53] Mike: It's well yeah.
[01:57:42] Keith: I've soaked my panties right? like these are supposed to be I'll be like great signs that the woman is is really aroused and those can indeed be good signs although some women get wet even when they're not aroused and some women don't get wet even when they are aroused and so there's spectrums there but ah. Setting aside whether it's a great sign that you're wet at all. Ah I think there is such thing as too wet now a woman can't control that and that's sort of a bummer and um.
[01:58:27] Mike: She probably could I mean they have those Silica packets that are shipped with ah things that they did Well yeah, various things to keep keep ah fluid from being in there. There's probably some sort of you know alum if you put alum sort of aluminum powder or a deodorants.
[01:58:51] Keith: New Tennis shoes moisture out.
[01:59:11] Keith: Yeah I was thinking she could she could refuse to drink water for a couple days leading up to the date.
[01:59:01] Mike: Various anti-persperence. She be sort of chapped I will say that um I learned from the very well-known hip hop song fuck you by Dr Dry snoop dog and Devin the dude that. Ah.
[01:59:46] Keith: The.
[01:59:40] Mike: If it's that that that there are situations when you're having sex where you should take it out wipe it off and put it back up so that is a ah move apparently that is used in the hip hop community.
[02:00:09] Keith: Um, oh you could use it as like ah it's not a dipstick a dipstick just checks the level. It's ah what's like yeah you want to you want to plunge out some of the lubrication.
[02:00:09] Mike: Well like like like yeah like the you right? you pull it out and you and you and you wipe it off so you need some sort of oil Rag kind of device that and so I mean it seems like that. Well I mean given the.
[02:00:40] Keith: Could you could you shove some like paper towels or ah or a tampon up there.
[02:00:42] Mike: And so you could I mean given the under that my understanding of the ah well the the the current theory around the shape of the male glands penis being designed to plunge out Fluids Other men's semen Yeah, you could simply.
[02:01:12] Keith: Yeah, yeah, maybe it's maybe maybe maybe there maybe their theories is wrong. It's that ah prehistoric women were just much wetter and it's not to plunge out seamen. It's to plunge out excess lubrication.
[02:01:24] Mike: Thr sleep. But yeah I mean but or they were all having sex in water. Ah and they underwater some sort of ah prehistoric global warming. But but but seriously like I mean I don't like this is really easily solved if he just wipes his penis off.
[02:01:56] Keith: Yeah in Atlantis.
[02:02:11] Keith: I Don't know man I I feel like women can secrete a lot of lublic lubrication I'm not sure.
[02:02:01] Mike: Right.
[02:02:08] Mike: You think you've been with a woman where you couldn't have wiped it ah down fast enough.
[02:02:36] Keith: Ah, using the strategy you propose? Yeah I think so so the strategy just case our listeners are following along. Is you you you thrust you remove you wipe off you thrust you remove you wipe off you thrust you remove wipe off and throughout this through this process.
[02:02:51] Mike: Well not every thrust hang on. Not not every thrust and also this is not my strategy is the strategy of Dr Dry snoop dog and devon the dude who are pretty well known to have a lot of sex. Yes.
[02:03:14] Keith: This process you remove an adequate amount of lubrication to okay okay sorry that that yeah, we we should cite our sources. Yeah, Okay, yeah, you're right? Yeah, maybe through their ah combined. Thousands of experiences they've they've cultivated the perfect perfect technique. Yeah.
[02:03:36] Mike: Right? Yes, Yes, yeah, so I mean I Okay you okay in my view I disagree with you I don't think women produce that much lubrication I don't think you'd have to do it every stroke I think you could do it.
[02:04:11] Keith: Is it.
[02:04:11] Mike: Once during the entire session or maybe twice that it would be sufficient to solve to resolve this ah to the extent. This is an issue resolve it and ah kind of ah it's almost I I don't think I've ever really done this although I you mean everybody's taken their penis out and had it kind of dry off right.
[02:04:29] Keith: Yeah.
[02:04:56] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[02:04:47] Mike: And in that situation. Yeah, when you put it back in. There's more friction so it does sort of although it's not as good as it's still not as good as the beginning of a session because there's something. There's some kind of desensitizing that happens. So your penis is like.
[02:05:15] Keith: Yeah.
[02:05:14] Mike: Used to the sensations more and that's it's not quite as good, but it's it's maybe like an 8 out of 10 versus the 10 out of 10 at the beginning of the session. It's hard to it's hard to evaluate that. Yeah there you would actually have to do some sort of internal scrub of the lubrication which would be challenging.
[02:05:35] Keith: She might also be wetter at that point to that might be playing a factor. It is.
[02:06:00] Keith: Yeah I wonder what? the ah volume differences like are are some are some women like 20% wetter or they like 2000% wetter I'm not sure.
[02:05:50] Mike: Um, you know.
[02:06:18] Mike: Yeah I mean they're there there absolutely are ah are differences and of course difference the different ah level of Arousal is going to make a difference in probably like what time of what hormonal time of the month. It is matters to right? So like there's just there's so many factors. It's just you could never figure it out.
[02:07:00] Keith: Right.
[02:06:56] Mike: You need a supercomputer and you have to play 9 dimensional chess. So.
[02:07:17] Keith: Okay, if it is good place to wrap up so that'll do it for episode 71 of your mileage may vary. We can be contacted at ymmvpod on Twitter or by email at http://ymmvpod at http://gmail.com getting better at getting both those y m mv pods out.
[02:07:09] Mike: Um, sure.
[02:07:36] Mike: And.
[02:07:54] Keith: To stumble over those all the time in any case, we still pay $10 for feedback and always enjoy hearing from you so hit us up thanks to Mike for his time thanks to you for your decision to listen and we hope you'll join us next week on your mileage may vary.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 71: Female Sexuality: Superpower Or Curse? Toys Too Soon, Unfortunate Fetishes, Being Too Wet

Episode Transcript