Your Mileage May Vary: Free Use, Contraction Counts, Backdoor Flavor, MFF Declined, Gifted Plugs

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships using candor and humor that is sometimes controversial but usually in good faith on today's show we're going to talk about a surprise threesome imposition hygiene obligations with respect to oral sex the viability of a butt plug as a gift and much more and Keith my co-host is Mike. Did you miss me Mike I mean I feel like the show I feel like that episode was like a 6 out of 10 but we'll we'll discuss that shortly. Ah, but none ah you know the drill please rate review subscribe and redouble your efforts telling your friends and loved ones about your mileage may vary.
[00:20] Mike: A little bit. Yeah.
[00:39] Keith: You can ask us questions at http://ymmvpodat http://gmail.com or at Ymmvpod on Twitter. Okay, let's get this thing started I did listen to your last episode with Eric and ah, what was it Susan what? What was the the okay the pseudonym Jane right? Okay, ah.
[00:52] Mike: Jane Jane yeah
[00:59] Keith: Thought she sounded a little bit like Allie and so I was confused initially I thought there was like some sort of double switcheroo going on there but no it. It's a different person. Ah, but you guys brought up. Yeah, you guys were all in person right? okay.
[01:09] Mike: Definitely a different person.
[01:14] Mike: That's right she was in the far corner of the room rubbing her legs together furiously.
[01:18] Keith: Um, yeah I thought you might have been sort of playing that up for the show. But apparently that actually occurred that's somewhat incredible to me.
[01:27] Mike: Yes, she was a she said that watching the show in person was delightful and far better than listening to the podcast normally which surprised me. So.
[01:37] Keith: Um, that's I mean it's just so hard for me to understand that I mean there were a number of things about her that are hard to understand I mean like for example, she loves blowjobs. Um, and I mean she said things like she's never had bad tasting semen. How is that even possible. Oh okay.
[01:57] Mike: She has a low body count. Yeah so I think yeah, although even I mean even with a single an individual guy you you expect there to be some variation.
[02:05] Keith: Right? right? You would expect that you know maybe he's dehydrated or ate a lot of asparagus or I don't know if asparagus affects semen but you know whatever. Um, yeah, yeah, she talked about.
[02:18] Mike: Yes, she's a very sexually insistent lady.
[02:25] Keith: How she loves the orgasm to be like connected to the male like she read that the semen itself receiving the semen itself was like a big part of why ah blowjups are compelling to her.
[02:37] Mike: Well I think that's frequently generally true for women that there's a there's a um that connection matters to them it heightens the experience. Yeah.
[02:47] Keith: Yeah, yeah, well we've litigated this plan and and I don't have anything new to add here I did have a question about your masturbation sleeve. Um have you used it again. Okay I did like.
[02:59] Mike: No Lord No no because I yeah it's it's as I mentioned briefly on the other episode. It's actually at a vacation house. So it's not I don't have it on me at present as ah as it were.
[03:07] Keith: Go ahead.
[03:11] Keith: Ok, ok, might you have if you if you brought it with you. Okay.
[03:19] Mike: No, probably not. It's it's ah it takes longer. Ah, and um, yeah I mean it enhances the feeling but it yeah I think unfortunately the way like male psychology works like um.
[03:25] Keith: Yeah.
[03:39] Mike: Just the most of the pressure. The men experience around this around wanting to beat off is is just wanting to get the nut out as opposed to like wanting to maximize the experience with a partner. It flips a little bit because it's going to take longer and and be more more complete experience anyway.
[03:41] Keith: Um, right right.
[03:56] Keith: This.
[03:58] Mike: But when masturbating like yeah, it just yeah, it just it's kind of complicated and takes a while. Yeah, oh also. Also there's the fact that it looks like the mouth of a small child. Yeah, how do I clean it? Okay, so ah, it's pliable enough that you can.
[04:02] Keith: Okay, that makes sense. How do you clean it.
[04:18] Mike: Completely inverted meaning you know there's an inside and outside it's made of like some kind of silicon material and you can actually completely invert it and the the inside is That's how I learned that it has an epiglottis and also a lot of detail painting on there of like I assume it's painted on of like the ridges inside somebody's upper throat or whatever like.
[04:18] Keith: Okay, okay, okay.
[04:35] Keith: Interesting.
[04:37] Mike: Somebody in some factory somewhere is like having to paint these things and so yeah, so basically you turn it inside out. You can wash it with soap and water and then like then becomes then comes the issue of like you have to dry the inside and the outside which means you do have to like leave it sitting somewhere for a meaningful span of time and then flip it in.
[04:52] Keith: Right? yeah.
[04:57] Mike: Right side out and then let it sit again and so it's that's another thing It's like it's not if you want it not to grow mold or whatever like you're going to have to have this thing sitting around on a drying tray for a while and like I'm not sure what guy I mean the risk if you forget like even if you live alone the risk that you forget it like in your drying rack.
[05:01] Keith: Right.
[05:08] Keith: Right is.
[05:13] Keith: Ah, yeah, right? Yes, Okay, you've brought up all of the issues and answered almost all of my questions here. But when did you clean it.
[05:16] Mike: Is just immense like you. You do not want someone finding this thing. So yeah.
[05:26] Mike: Oh ah, okay yeah I mean it was um within I would say it was 10 minutes after the nut the the orgasm something like that. So it wasn't immediate because yeah, it would be. You're kind of like oh this is going to suck. It wasn't.
[05:33] Keith: Okay.
[05:42] Mike: The actual act of cleaning. It wasn't terrible because you can sort of fill it with water and you know just let the water come out a few times and so there's not a whole lot of material left over.
[05:44] Keith: Um, right? Yeah, this notion of being able to invert it is important I was imagining if you ever had a glass that is the circumference of. Which is too narrow so you can't quiteke reach your hand to the bottom and if you drink like juice or milk or something it. It leaves like a little film at the bottom and it's sort of hard to like reach down to to scrape it out I was I was sort of imagining this with the masturbation sleeve like there's some like crusty semen down there and you can't quite get it. But being able to invert it takes care of that problem.
[06:19] Mike: Yeah I mean I will say though like I'm I would I can imagining like the pie chart here like some percentage of guys don't clean these things I'm sure I'm sure that happens like or they clean it I don't know I'm sure there's a lot of.
[06:29] Keith: Ah, yeah, haphazardly or insufficiently.
[06:37] Mike: Yeah, there's a lot of habits. There's habits or just they just use water or something their habits here that are not great. So yeah.
[06:41] Keith: Yeah, yeah, okay I had an insight while thinking about this sleeve. Um I think I would not like this device I think it basically requires. None hands to operate and not I think None thing that I like about masturbating in just my normal masturbating way which is sitting at a chair in front of my computer with my right hand on my mouse and my left hand on my shaft is that. Can really easily switch between content and one of the issues I had with vr was that switching between content wasn't as easy as it is with a mouse and I think I would have this issue with a masturbation sleeve too. It's like yeah. It's mostly one handed but it's not quite as one handed as just using my hand is does that make sense.
[07:43] Mike: It does I think I mean if you wanted to be some sort of expert I Mean for example, we're a podcasting right now with sort of nice microphones ah trying to be semi-pro at this and like yeah like with the microphone Stand. You could imagine having such a stand and putting the thing on that and then it would require 0 hands I mean if you wanted to get like really expert at it and really into it. Um, you're generally right that like ah.
[08:03] Keith: Um, yeah, but now yeah I mean if you're worried about somebody seeing it drying about you have this elaborate maturpation Sleeve apparatus.
[08:15] Mike: Um, yeah, right I mean it and right and then like if somebody sees sees you doing that. It's terrible I have seen of course I have of course seen porns.
[08:19] Keith: Ah, you're you're sort of dotching up the embarrassment here.
[08:24] Keith: Oh my god.
[08:30] Mike: Guys doing this or like there's some way they arrange it in their bed so that it's like they're kind of thrusting down and into it. Um, these are all like well I mean ultimately people get like a real doll right? like that's the natural endpoint there.
[08:41] Keith: Um, right.
[08:46] Mike: And sure I mean you could imagine like you could imagine somebody with like a Vr headset and a real doll under them. That's the this is the ah some sort of like dystopian future that a woman might I'm not sure how women would feel if they saw a man doing that. It's like okay like this. Here we are. We've arrived.
[09:04] Keith: Yeah I mean you can't yeah I think we're soon and and I'm not sure if soon is None ars or None but there's already a number of men who prefer unpartnered sex. And yeah I mean. As technology improves. That's only going to get worse and have yeah I mean we've.
[09:22] Mike: yeah yeah I mean the cleanup. The cleanup remains a problem. But yeah I mean like ah god like yeah given my experience with this device. Of course you don't know what would happen on like experience number like 20 or 50
[09:34] Keith: Right? yeah.
[09:40] Mike: But like I could imagine a Vr like ah a much lighter weight headset plus a real doll being pretty compelling just in terms of the physical sensations that it elicits. Yeah.
[09:47] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean there's some emotional stuff that look eventually ai will be able to simulate that but ah for for now we're not, We're not nearly there. So.
[10:00] Mike: Right? That's right? Yeah I can I can just imagine like um, you know I've one of things I've learned from various subreddits like having fun hobbying and.
[10:07] Keith: Women still have that to hang their hat on.
[10:17] Mike: Few others sex workers sex workers Only that's another one ah is um, you know a pretty large percentage of men want to give oral to prostitutes which is I would not have guessed that and so natural consequence of that you could totally imagine a guy giving oral to a real doll.
[10:19] Keith: Um.
[10:35] Keith: Yeah, yeah, that's sort of interesting to think about I'm sure it does. Yeah.
[10:36] Mike: Yeah, that probably already happens. Yeah yeah, he's got he's like sit on my face and then has to maneuver the doll on top of him and then he's got the the problem of which direction does she face.
[10:49] Keith: Has to hoist it over his shoulders. Yes, yes, yes, listen to every other episode for our our comments on that topic. Um, okay.
[10:55] Mike: Want that real doll butthole in his nose or yeah. Yes.
[11:04] Keith: Ah, there was one other well I mean I have a list of like 20 things you guys talked about but I don't want to relitigate every single one of them. But ah Jane talked about how she ah can have something like 7 to 10 orgasms in a in a single session.
[11:09] Mike: Yeah.
[11:21] Keith: Yeah I'm sure you remember this conversation and you expressed your your yeah I mean you expressed your typical incredulity and she seemed to walk it back a bit by saying that the None
[11:22] Mike: I Do yeah well we were if it it It was this.
[11:38] Keith: Few orgasms are much more intense and that the intensity wanes substantially as as she gets to future Orgasms am I recounting that properly. Okay.
[11:45] Mike: Yeah, more or less I mean it was the None 2 None of all, she was insistent that it's the None 2 Not the first one and that the None one sometimes is the better one the best 1 like the second is the peak of the curve. Ah, but she also.
[12:00] Keith: Huh. Okay.
[12:03] Mike: Well I mean I think wasn't there some conversation there. We went to dinner afterwards I can't remember but wasn't there some conversation there about like number of ah ah pulses contractions. Whatever and then.
[12:12] Keith: Yeah, that was on the show. Yeah, she talked about 2 or 3 contractions which seemed low to to you and also to me.
[12:19] Mike: Well, that was what I saw in that video that I found convincing this video a which I still haven't found online for the listeners. But yeah yeah I mean it was a woman who I think was having multiple but it's just like the each 1 seemed kind of pathetic and and Jane seemed to agree.
[12:24] Keith: Who.
[12:39] Mike: Although I don't know if she would agree that. So so yeah, it makes me wonder whether like this propensity to have multiples is combined with just sort of a lower overall intensity for each one which then if you sort of sum them all up. You get like a total orgasmic experience. It's just my my incredulity comes from like.
[12:52] Keith: Right.
[12:56] Mike: The the notion that a person's brain is able to you know experience that much pleasure that quickly without some external drug. So yeah.
[13:02] Keith: Yeah I mean assuming that everybody isn't you know, consciously lying about having 10 orgasms and there's a number of women who claim they can have 10 orgasms. There's got to be something to explain what's actually going on. Um, and yeah, this is this.
[13:14] Mike: Sure.
[13:21] Keith: This feels like an off ramp that can actually make a little bit of sense which is yeah the orgasms are are so mild that you know debate whether or not they're actually orgasms um, are you guys. Also that's too bad. There's something to aspire to.
[13:24] Mike: Right.
[13:31] Mike: Yeah, as far as I know she had 0 during the recording anyway, gone.
[13:40] Keith: Next time. Um, yeah, the last thing was this this Kivin Technique which is an oral sex technique but I haven't done my research on it yet. So I want to want to read about it and then we can maybe we'll talk about it next episode and it's something to do with a side to side pressure.
[13:52] Mike: Sure.
[13:58] Keith: Across the clitoris instead of along the side of but I want to understand the details there. Um, it was new. It was new to me I don't know what percentage of our listeners. It was new to um.
[14:01] Mike: It was sort of chagrining because I thought I'd discovered something from Tiktok and then they're like oh of course it's the Kevin Technique I was like okay well you guys are.
[14:17] Keith: But um, okay so there was this topic on Reddit got posted a day ago had None of votes and it's sort of long and predictable. He says girlfriend gave me a threesome with her friend as a birthday gift and then got mad when I declined. And he's 23 and you can sort of assume how this goes he the girl was ah his girlfriend was like oh I'm you know, really excited I have like a special present for you and you know she coordinated with a friend of hers and then he goes over. To None of their house and they're like you know surprise we're giving you a threesome and and he didn't want it and the reason why I brought this up is we talked about many of the psychological issues that arise out ah in the in the post threesome being had arena but this is. This is like even before it's even been had like once a partner has decided that they want one like is there any way to get out of that without psychological damage on someone's part.
[15:20] Mike: Yeah I mean I think that if they just negotiate and decide not to do it then it could be okay.
[15:26] Keith: Well maybe but what if the person is like oh well this is a deal breaker this like get that this is my primary Kk I can't imagine a life without it.
[15:36] Mike: Well, that's like that's basically the same as saying that you want to be poly amorous or something stronger than e and m right I mean it's like yeah, okay, fine, right? Then you basically have None person wants something and the other person's like absolutely not and so then yeah, that probably is. Relationship ending but like yeah I mean the real this situation this is like the she surprised him with it and he's like I don't want this which is probably I wonder how common that is yeah I wonder how common that is like that's probably somewhat. It's probably more common than you would think um.
[16:02] Keith: Yeah, that's exactly what happened.
[16:14] Mike: He might he might have had the wisdom to know that like it was going to. She wasn't going to like it and yeah.
[16:19] Keith: Yeah I mean the thread is so long and it's and it's sort of poorly written and boring. But I think he says somewhere in there that they discussed it and he told her that he wasn't into it but she like basically didn't believe that I'm not I'm not sure but the details are sort of uninteresting.
[16:34] Mike: I Think yeah I think that I think that one thing that would be hard as a guy is that basically it's basically like you're getting to have sex with some other woman which is good but you're you're being surveilled and then.
[16:46] Keith: Sort of right right? by the person most likely to get upset by it by it.
[16:53] Mike: Yeah, that's right and and they're I'm given to believe that there are typically a set of rules and regulations I have talked to some women about this like oh well, you have to not come in her. You have to not kiss her.
[17:01] Keith: Same.
[17:09] Mike: You know there's like this series of things and so then you're sitting there thinking? Well I can't do this I can't do that and I mean there's I mean like there's some risk that you would ejaculate kind of quickly because you're more excited with a new partner and so you could just wind up saying like look this This isn't worth it like if you're willing to go into another room while I do this that would be great I Wonder actually.
[17:18] Keith: Right.
[17:28] Mike: I wonder actually like for you like given the choice which would you pick between ah like yeah I mean which which of those is better. The MF threesome or just having your partner actually leave the room which.
[17:36] Keith: Ah, right? I think in in the absolute perfect scenario where I can behave without terror that I'm going to like accidentally step on a landmine. You know am I having too much fun. Am I not having enough am I not paying enough attention to None party am I you know doing something that is angering anyone if I could just set all of that aside I think it would be sort of fun to have None women at the same time. But yeah, given the absolute you know. Minefield of possible mistakes to be made I think cerebraally I would be able to enjoy a you know a twosome with a new partner better.
[18:21] Mike: Yeah I mean the in porn One of the things I mean sometimes my mind will wander and if I'm watching something with a threesome and and I will. There's usually one woman That's the more the much more engaged woman in the in the event. Whatever type of porn. It is and.
[18:34] Keith: Um, yeah.
[18:41] Mike: I will often look at the woman who's less involved and I mean yeah, it'll be like you're getting a blow from one woman and the other woman is just sort of like licking the side of your cock a little bit occasionally and yeah and so that like lack of enthusiasm from the second woman which I suspect is somewhat common.
[18:49] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[18:59] Mike: Would potentially lower the level experience now. That being said if the second woman if that yeah I mean being there if the 2 women were enjoying each other that would probably be compelling. Yeah.
[19:07] Keith: Yeah I mean in order for it to be a gift you know I think the the person doing the giving needs to concede that or needs to understand that your their partner might do some things that make them uncomfortable but I just think that. People don't think this through um, but yeah, maybe I'm just not I don't know sexually adventurous enough I can't I can't imagine the the sort of realms of pleasure that I'm missing by not partaking in this activity I I doubt it.
[19:27] Mike: Right.
[19:40] Mike: I don't know if it would up your I don't think it would up your pleasure I think it would be more just like a it's like on some level. It's the real life equivalent of watching a porn like yeah you what you Yeah, what I think what you want is like something that's somewhat unlikely for the None women to interact with each other and them. For them to both be happy that you're there and like I don't know I think it's much more likely that they'll be more excited about each other or 1 of the None women doesn't really want to be there somehow and so then it's just yeah I mean but there probably is a yeah.
[20:08] Keith: Yeah I think that's absolutely right? like it's It's all. Yeah yeah, but I think it's almost impossible to line everything up properly. It's just it's it's it's so risky So all right? Let's let's move on.
[20:14] Mike: There's ah, there's a gent genuine experience that can be good. Yeah.
[20:20] Mike: And that's right, yeah, the ah threesomes that I've seen that looked ah where the people looked the happiest sadly were the Devil's threesome of the mmm they all seem pretty happy when that happens. Yeah.
[20:32] Keith: Yeah, but that's because yeah, okay, that makes sense to me. Ah, it's yeah, nobody's yeah yeah I don't I don't have anything that's not going to sound like misogyny to say to that. So let's move on. Um.
[20:38] Mike: That makes sense. Yeah, exactly.
[20:51] Keith: This person says won't let me give her oral unless she showers None new account to ask this question. Maybe ask more in the future. My wife frequents the sub off offensivese of sorry in advance if you see this I love giving my wife oral and I can orgasm without any physical contact to my errogenousones just by pleasing her. She makes me crazy and I just can't stop myself.
[20:53] Mike: So.
[21:08] Mike: So he's yeah, okay, go on right? that sounds strange.
[21:09] Keith: That he's grinding against something. Yeah, that sense? Yeah, suspicious, but whatever the problem I love the problem is I love her natural taste and but she insists that showering right before we have sex I went to taste steak not soap. She thinks I'll find her natural pussy gross and she doesn't believe me what I try to tell her I love it. Any ideas on how to raise her confidence and convince her that I love her usual taste and the first response is Sean just send me the post next time l mayo which is apparently his wife actually found it which is kind of funny. But um I don't think that the dichotomy is between soap.
[21:39] Mike: Right.
[21:48] Keith: And as he says steak which let's take that as a euphemism for ah yeah, Musty Ah, unclean vagina. So it's covered in you know, discharge and urine and some grime from the day. Ah, it's like.
[21:54] Mike: Urine. Yeah.
[22:08] Keith: Yeah, like it shouldn't taste like soap like if you rinse off like if I if I you know lick my arm after I've taken a shower I don't you know, get a bunch of lemon grass or whatever my soap is. It's just like a a clean feeling. So I think he's not quite making sense there but setting that aside, he seems to really want to have that kind of. Um I don't know what to call it that that that soup of of female flavor.
[22:33] Mike: Well I mean the ah None thing. He's not considering as a possibility here is that so he's thinking. Oh ah, she let's see he's thinking that she that she's thinking that he doesn't want her to be anything other than. Completely showered. Ah freshly showered, but that might not be right? Maybe it's that she it actually grosses her out that that she's with a guy who wants to lick something that's kind of gross like in the same way that a woman might be grossed out by her partner wanting to lick her to give analingus to her.
[23:02] Keith: Are.
[23:09] Mike: Like maybe that's what's going on. She just says like look like I don't like this is just gross like stop it stop stop being attracted to gross things.
[23:15] Keith: I see it. It makes him seem Beta or submissive in a way.
[23:20] Mike: Well look if if if a woman and I don't think this may never have happened but if a woman said to you hey Keith like what I really want is for you just to like have a lot of your cock needs to be just disgusting like just don't wash like go camping. Don't wash for like three days and then I want to get down there and give you a.
[23:40] Keith: Yeah.
[23:40] Mike: Sloppy sloppy blowjob like you would I think actually you would partly you'd be like oh I don't know if I want to impose that on you but partly, you'd be like what's wrong with you.
[23:47] Keith: Yeah, yeah I guess it is a bit of both and it's hard for me to separate. Um I dated someone once who insisted on shaving down there before every sexual encounter I'm not sure it's something.
[23:52] Mike: Right.
[24:04] Mike: Here.
[24:07] Keith: Similar to this I think where maybe she was worried about being unclean or something.
[24:13] Mike: Yes, this reminds that reminds me by the way I saw or saw a post or a video or something about a woman who had that same insistence and decided to get laser treatment on her vulva as women do sometimes and she went to get rid of all the hair permanently. That's right.
[24:27] Keith: Whoa That's pretty permanent. Yeah.
[24:31] Mike: Ah, but she said that. Ah, ah I guess ah a relatively common issue with doing that is that ah women don't pull back the lips sufficiently during the laser treatment and so she wound up what she with what she called a Vagina goatee which was ah.
[24:40] Keith: L K. Ah.
[24:48] Mike: Basically just a small amount of hair like a tuft of hair like kind of in the crease above her clitteralhood that was pretty funny does yeah permanent like that's right? Yeah, so be careful ladies if you're doing that.
[24:50] Keith: Um, yeah I got it. Yeah, it's like ah it's like a micro landing strip I guess couldn't she go back and shouldn't the laser person.
[25:07] Mike: Yeah.
[25:11] Keith: Anticipate to this problem.
[25:11] Mike: Yeah I don't know how that works like maybe the laser person can't tell and yeah and she probably ah maybe she did go back and solve it. Maybe she didn't have enough money I mean it's like people. Ah the things the way people who are otherwise financially stretched.
[25:20] Keith: M.
[25:28] Mike: Spend their money is always mysterious to me. So.
[25:28] Keith: Yeah, yeah, that is a bit bizarre do you prefer like yeah like do you prefer your partner to be clean before having sex or like that.
[25:39] Mike: Yes, yes, like it's I got to think it's like a normal amount. Ah like but but I mean taking a shower before is nice. That's it's good I don't I think that the.
[25:43] Keith: How so do you think more so than the average person or less so than the average person.
[25:57] Mike: Experience Sorry I don't care if I'm not giving oral I should I should ah write it like my penis doesn't have ah olfactory sensors in it so doesn't matter. Ah I mean there's could be so no I Guess that's not exactly true like there could be some point like where a smell would waft up from that area so that I would care. But.
[25:59] Keith: Yeah. Ah, yeah, yeah.
[26:13] Keith: Oh sure or if somebody just ran a marathon or whatever.
[26:16] Mike: Yeah, yeah, so those are some negatives but but in general it wouldn't matter but I would say that I think that ah it's something like if you drew a curve. Ah you know where the X-axis is like time since last shower and the Y- Axis is hell. Much I appreciate it like it's perfectly linear like the the like if it was right after but most recent shower. That's the best and like it goes down Linearly I'm I'm assuming for you. It's similar.
[26:40] Keith: Right? Yeah, it's the same like I I kind of like sex when both parties are super clean, but it's not a requirement for me and and and I'm not like grossed out unless there's something exceptional going on.
[26:50] Mike: Right.
[26:59] Keith: But I mean I do know that some people have like you know, sweaty Armpit Kinks and like various kinks around this kind of stuff and it's sort of confusing to me.
[27:07] Mike: Right? Yeah I mean they just ah, something happened to them in their past or they started to fetishize something I don't know. Yeah they were the fat kid in school ah trapped them under their armpit and in fourth grade or whatever I don't know.
[27:13] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[27:19] Keith: Yeah, okay, right enough. Ah, this person says Hookup left me a butt plug as a gift. That's all he's a glassblower by profession and it's a custom handmade piece fucking impressive and I'm not sure how to non awkwardly brag about it to my friends L Lol so. My initial read of this was.. It's just rules one and 2 like she's really into him rules one and 2 are be attractive and don't be unattractive. Yeah I think she's just into Him. There's no like I think normally if like some guy you hooked up with left a butt Plug. You might find that a bit. Odd right.
[27:57] Mike: Yes, yeah, you're basically saying that he could have given her anything and she would have thought it was awesome and like yes, she's like he's a glassblower You don't know whether that's his job or like it's a hobby or whatever but still like it's you know she's yes, that's right.
[28:01] Keith: Right? right.
[28:10] Keith: Yeah I mean isn't it a bit presumptuous if nothing else.
[28:14] Mike: Good you know I mean from from his perspective was probably like he viewed it as a creative if he's a Glassboro but by profession. Well either way actually this may be a a little trick. He uses to pace get anal from women you like.
[28:29] Keith: I I do I do Pasta Homemade pasta and this guy does leaving a ah leaving a fricking butt plug to insinuate an anal situation.
[28:41] Mike: Yeah, you could maybe you could like I don't know what they call the pasta that's sort of like a cylinder with emptiness in the middle and like I don't know what to get few silly or I don't know exactly what that's called, but like yeah you so you could ah you could.
[28:51] Keith: Yeah I get I'm in Venice right now I can go ask an expert and and report back.
[29:00] Mike: Maybe with the pasta making you could make a pasta that's the right diameter for your penis just like 1 piece and then imply that you could jam that or buttholes I mean there. But there's always some way. But yeah that this guy. Ah yeah, it's just like a little tricky does to it's spicy I understand what he's doing. It's you know.
[29:04] Keith: Um.
[29:19] Mike: Whatever. And yes, he's probably attractive and so it works if he was unattractive women would be like oh that's disgusting. What's wrong with you.
[29:24] Keith: Right? Well and do you think he brought up anal at all I mean look if they had anal sex on their None sexual encounter then there's a guess less of an imposition here if they didn't that and. They didn't talk about it and so he was just doing this sort of Blindly. So. It's almost like a dominance play I Just think that's I think it's pretty risky. But maybe he doesn't care. Maybe if if she's not into it then he's It's an easy way for him to move on.
[29:54] Mike: I Think the vast majority of women don't want a butt plug like just if like they could have a life with a butt plug and a life without a butt plug. They would pick the ah the without a butt plug life like they just I mean it's fine. So yeah, you're read on this I think is right like she's just.
[30:04] Keith: Right.
[30:13] Mike: Yeah, she's just fabricating interest in you know she know she thinks she's really interested. She thinks oh that's cool and now you know she's going to play along and stuff like that. But like if something happens where she doesn't like him as much it's going to immediately become this terrible thing he did. It's gross and she's going to shatter it with a hammer or something.
[30:15] Keith: Right.
[30:27] Keith: Yeah, yeah, okay.
[30:31] Mike: Yeah, she she's unlikely although she is on this but I don't know where you found this question. Maybe she's on the sex subreddit but like the ah you know, maybe she has like a particularly high sex interest slash drive and that's yeah.
[30:41] Keith: Yeah, yeah, we just don't have enough information here to know how presumptuous it was but doing it blind seems highly risky all right? This person says I 20 year old female was dumped because I opened up about my kinks I feel so fucking disgusted right Now. Deciding if I want to read this whole thing or just get to the juice I'll read the whole thing My now ex-boyfriend 21 year old male were hanging out at my place this weekend when the topic of fantasies came up for some Context. He's the only person I've ever had sex with and we've been together for about two years I never felt comfortable opening up about my Ks before but I guess that I was tipsy enough that it gave me some courage. I asked him if there were any fantasies that he had and he said that he wanted to see me wearing a schoolgirl uniform which is something I wasn't opposed to he then asked if there were any fantasies that I had and I said that I had this fantasy for a while where I tie a guy up and peg him that was a mistake. Yeah, that was a mistake because he looked at me like I had growed a None head.
[31:28] Mike: The o.
[31:35] Keith: Looking back I guess he shared a fairly tame fantasy and I immediately meant went for something more extreme said that it wasn't something I needed or anything but it ruined the whole mood for the weekend. Yes, if it was something I fantasized about doing with him and I admitted that it was but I wouldn't actually want to do it unless he wanted to he broke up with me yesterday. He said that he didn't want to be with someone. He couldn't satisfy. And that I should look for someone that shares that fantasy I tried explaining that it was just a fantasy and that I didn't need it that I could forget about it and never bring it up again. But he said that he made up his mind and wished me luck before leaving I'm heartbroken I don't want someone else I want him I don't feel like I could ever open up to anyone else again I feel gross and masculine was my fantasy really so bad. All right? So she's a twenty year old female. So there's couple things here, but ah.
[32:15] Mike: I object to how she um, ah equated gross and masculine feels so gross and masculine. It's like all right fair.
[32:22] Keith: Yeah I mean she's she's not wrong in my opinion. Um, do you think? Okay, let's say that a woman really has this fantasy. Can she just swallow it and move On. And you know if she finds a partner that's not into it live live a happy life I mean we we sort of brushed against this with the 3 something like if somebody really wants a threesome and their partner says no absolutely not should they break up with them and move on because there they'll never be truly satisfied or is this one of those things that you can get past.
[32:56] Mike: I don't okay I'm having trouble believing that a woman genuinely has this as a fantasy I think like something like 100% of the time when pegging happens the guy instigates it because she gets nothing physically out of it and it just isn't.
[33:02] Keith: Right? right. Right.
[33:13] Keith: And it and it it. It makes their partner so submissive and.
[33:15] Mike: Yeah, it doesn't align. Well yeah, right I Just don't I mean yeah, there's that issue with the Mmf threesome and the woman seeing the man receiving anal from another man and that freaking her out and this is similar to that and I don't I think women in general like.
[33:24] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[33:34] Mike: If you're a woman in the sex act. You don't interact. Ah, really at all with the guy's butthole so they can basically pretend. It's not there. Ah ah, notwithstanding The fact I realized that like there's this analingus trend where women have decided they want to? well.
[33:39] Keith: Um, right.
[33:51] Mike: They've decided or been coerced into thinking that they want to interact with it. But ah yeah, so it's not.. It's not as present as a as an object of desire for a woman and I I Just don't think like naturally women come to that and so it's I'm confused about that like where where she got that? Yeah, but. I Mean if she if you take for her her word that that was what she wanted to do I mean I think this is the thing is that she's she's really abnormal or unusual for a woman and so like yeah the guy is going to assume that it's a deal breaker and I think he's probably right if she genuinely wants that.
[34:24] Keith: Yeah, like it is it possible to imagine a scenario where she really wants it and she'd be satisfied without it and I don't think that's I don't think there is like I think that's it like I think I think it's same with a threesome too like I don't.
[34:39] Mike: That's probably right if the if the woman's insisting on it then I think you have to take it more seriously than if the man is insisting on it.
[34:43] Keith: I don't know why he go ahead. Yeah I mean she says that it was just like a passing fantasy I tried explaining that it was just a fantasy and that I didn't need it that I could forget about it. Never bring it up again. But I mean isn't that what like all homosexuals did until the 1980 s just pretended. They weren't gay and like tried to make do with it and.
[35:07] Mike: I Maybe I mean maybe she was put on the spot by him. Ah I mean yeah like I think that men I think that the look if you read romance books I've had the misfortune to read a couple in my life. Ah.
[35:09] Keith: You know.
[35:18] Keith: Oh.
[35:23] Mike: There are fantasies in those things. They're just not what a man would consider a sexual fantasy. They're like the sit. They're situational fantasies and the actual sex is pretty relatively pretty normal. You know it's not it doesn't involve like implements and you know.
[35:33] Keith: Right.
[35:40] Keith: Um, yeah.
[35:40] Mike: Anal probes and stuff like that. There's none of that going on. It's just it's situational and so and so she might have been put on the spot like he said Oh yeah, what was his fantasy again I forgot Ah okay so he has some.
[35:47] Keith: Sort of where school goal you uniform which sounds like something with somebody something somebody would say when they were just like put on the spot and they had to produce a fantasy like but that question itself is a minefield for the man right? like he can't say oh you know I want to fuck your best friend.
[35:57] Mike: Right? So yeah, so maybe she like.
[36:07] Keith: Right? Like he has to say something that it you know seems like a bit wild but not too wild. So as to make her upset. Yes, this question comes up all the time I don't have I don't have a good answer I normally just like decline to answer.
[36:13] Mike: Have you faced this question. What do you say you have like a patter.
[36:25] Mike: Really see I mean hit Okay, ah use. Okay, even even if it's like somebody you're already having sex with and so like it's sort of contextual. You'll still, you're basically like I don't have any.
[36:27] Keith: Yes, but but I'll give this spiel about why it's dangerous.
[36:38] Keith: Um, it's safer I don't think I have ah any fantasies that are yet to the point where they need to be communicated I can't sort of.
[36:43] Mike: Fantasies.
[36:57] Keith: Yeah, yeah I don't think I have anything that's unusual enough that needs to be like explicitly requested.
[37:04] Mike: That's interesting. Yeah, that sounds right? Um, but I mean you could well okay, have you have you had somebody impose an unusual ah you I'm sure you have impose an unusual fantasy on you like a woman who says yeah like like this.
[37:15] Keith: And what what do you mean by unusual.
[37:20] Mike: Well just like this where it's like hey I'm sure you have not been with a woman who want who said pegging was her fantasy because I don't think that's common. But ah yeah I mean I don't um I've been I've encountered a couple like yeah like.
[37:23] Keith: No, of course not right.
[37:38] Mike: Requests that I wouldn't have thought of in my life.
[37:40] Keith: Anything interesting enough to share.
[37:44] Mike: Now they're sort of boring like 1 person. 1 woman was ah like she was interested in I guess it would be like like nipple clamps or something like that like stuff that's like kind of metal and like attached to her body like various like things like that and it was.
[37:56] Keith: Yeah.
[38:03] Mike: Honestly kind of boring and and and I felt like she was boring herself like she wasn't that into it either so was like why did you? What? like? what's I'm I'm thinking it was something she'd done once while masturbating or something. Yeah, it was not compelling. Um, but yeah, this is like a this is a.
[38:07] Keith: Yeah, yeah, or maybe she imagined it being different or something. Yeah, who knows.
[38:23] Mike: Pretty pretty strong one I Yeah I Just wonder whether this woman ah kind of said this because she was just she had to come up with something and so she's like okay like I'll come up with this and then he got upset and she's like well crap. How do I How do I walk this back because I don't actually care.
[38:34] Keith: Ah, she overachieved right? Yeah I think maybe although she defends her kink in the in the responses to the thread like she doesn't I don't think she was performing. It look the.
[38:41] Mike: Um, yeah.
[38:52] Mike: Okay.
[38:54] Keith: Ones that that people say are some sort of ah light bondage so you know tying up either her or him ah some sort of light. Ah you know rough play so choking or hair pulling. Um. And yeah I mean those are like the 2 that people usually say I can't pick up anything else at the moment. Maybe I'm forgetting something obvious but I do think that people feel more pressure to be I don't know. More sexually adventurous now just because of the pop culture role moment for better or worse anal linus has come up a lot recently on the show and I think I think that's part of that I have a topic about Anel Linus so let's let's just get into it.
[39:33] Mike: Sure That's right? yeah.
[39:45] Mike: Keep my.
[39:46] Keith: I None year old male ate my wife's 32 year old female asked for the none time while we were both drunk should I talk to her this happened last weekend I'd always wanted to eat her ass but I was too ashamed to bring it up. We're both kind of drunk. We showered before sex we were 69 and my nose was right at her butthole I smelling it while I ate her pussy I couldn't help myself and I just started licking her ass. Even put my tongue in it. She didn't say anything and she even seemed to enjoy it should I bring it up and talk to her or should I just do it every time I can and everybody mocks her fellas should you talk to your wife just bring it up in your quarterly meanings. Only if you think you'll see her get in the future I be just like asking if you should talk to her silly but I brought this up because we've talked about ah anallingus a lot lately and I I can't imagine who knows how long these people have been together but they're married but it just seems like. Ah, weird thing that if you fantasize about waiting for years and years and years and years and then like suddenly going for it like if it was something that I wanted to do I think I would try to introduce it to the normal ah prefix menu sooner than later right.
[40:56] Mike: Yeah I mean I don't It's it's hard to relate to this because the ah I Okay I could understand the way I usually interpret this or imagine this is that you know the guy's really horny. Havinging sex and he just sort of like he's so it basically is disgusted reflexes or whatever feeling is gone and so he just does things that are kind of gross. So Okay, so he starts licking your butthole in that context that I I can see that I know I know that he's been dreaming about it.
[41:25] Keith: Okay, I mean he says specifically? Yeah, okay, but he says specifically I Um yeah, but also he says my nose was right at her butthole I smelling it while I ate her pussy I couldn't help myself.
[41:40] Mike: And you could smell it so that this does mean hang on they were in they were in 69 position okay so
[41:45] Keith: And it's not I can't imagine the smell all right? Sorry go ahead? yes.
[41:56] Mike: All right? So he was he did have that sort of reverse the reverse ah sit on my face situation right? exactly? okay and he liked that and then yeah I Just don't I mean I don't really understand what.
[41:59] Keith: Um, yeah, the problem with 69 yes
[42:13] Mike: Ah, you well whatever I don't understand this fetish fetish and I would say that and he also said he'd been thinking about it a lot before right? This is like a thing he wanted to do.
[42:18] Keith: Yes, I mean I just I don't get it. He says something like let me get the exact quote I was smelling it while I ate her pussy. What is it poop.
[42:32] Mike: The I yeah that jumped out to me too like what's right? The heat went to length to say they just showered and then he's like I smelled something and they're like well what.
[42:35] Keith: I.
[42:42] Keith: And I smelled something good raised it eyebrow and it could it help but investigate I mean? yeah yeah.
[42:48] Mike: What did you think? So I mean you listened carefully to the last episode and Eric mentioned this notion that he it was some some quite some topic about licking your finger and then rubbing the butthole of the woman. Ah as part of sex play and Eric said that he. You know gets a positive reaction to that some percentage of the time. Did you find that credible. Okay, so that so okay, so as it as a methodology of giving pleasure that appears to be a you know.
[43:09] Keith: Yes I found that credible and relatable.
[43:24] Mike: Ah thing the guys find or women find compelling enough the guys do it right.
[43:25] Keith: Yeah I I would say probably None my partners seem to enjoy some pressure around their anus.
[43:33] Mike: Okay, ah, but here the guy seems like he's doing it for his own pleasure like it's not even if the woman was like not getting much out of it. He he It's so exciting for him that he wanted to pursue that avenue. Yeah.
[43:44] Keith: Yes, yes.
[43:49] Mike: Yeah, it's so it's hard for me to relate to I mean I can understand it if you're like trying to basically like angling for anal sexck that makes sense to me but like I yeah no, no, no, no, just like that he's trying to well sort of the the thing that Eric mentioned of like.
[43:59] Keith: It's like it's a quid pro Quo I I do this for you and you.
[44:08] Mike: You're trying to like basically yeah, ah without having to sit down and have a conversation about everything which would be the mature thing to do if you're trying to just ah you know say well what if I do this? Well what if I do this What if I do this like. So basically it's just sort of.
[44:19] Keith: Um, oh I see I see yeah I get it. Yeah, you're like ah ticking the temperature. Um.
[44:26] Mike: Playing in that area might lead to your penis going into that area. Yeah. Which by the way I'm sure is like that one of the things actually one of the doubts I had when Eric said that about a woman appreciating. It was I thought to myself like if I were a woman. Okay, actually as a man if a woman started playing with my butthole a lot during sex I think I would be like oh she's she wants.
[44:47] Keith: Um.
[44:51] Mike: She wants to peg me I think that's where my mind would go and similarly I think that a man a woman in that situation. Once you start playing with her butthole. She's going to be like oh this is leading to anal.
[45:01] Keith: Yeah, this is an interesting direction. Yeah I've been with a number of women who ah start moving their fingers toward that area and I always shut it down I think Eric mentioned this too.
[45:20] Mike: Think.
[45:21] Keith: Um I always shut it down before they get anywhere with it because I'm not interested in that and Alyssa has mentioned that she knows how to give a prostate massage and she's willing to show me I don't I have um.
[45:35] Mike: How how does she know that from work or from play.
[45:39] Keith: Well, she was a virgin before me. So so presumably she just read it online. No I Presumably she's done this to another person I I don't know. Yeah I mean yes, she has.
[45:50] Mike: Well, it could be I think there might I think there might be some situations where people do that for work like not prostitutes but like ah producing like fluid from the expressing fluid. That's the word I'm looking for from the prostate.
[45:57] Keith: Oh oh.
[46:09] Mike: Think there are like that is that can be a thing and so saying you know saying you know how is sort of an interesting way to it's like hey hey honey I Know how to ejaculate in you. She's like really that's impressive.
[46:12] Keith: She is a nurse and what right right? right? Yeah I'll actually ask her as soon as we finish recording here but she is a nurse and when I when I expressed.
[46:27] Mike: She is you know.
[46:31] Keith: When I declined the the invitation or the when I declined the offer she mentioned that she could even do it with gloves if I wanted her to because yeah, so yeah, maybe it was some sort of nursing school.
[46:45] Mike: It's funny that she it's it's it's It's funny that the ah the offer was you could imagine. Um you can imagine the like the Boolean there being reversed like.
[46:48] Keith: I Have no idea man I don't know.
[46:59] Mike: I Can even do it without gloves if you want like her default was with without it's like oh I see So yeah, that's that's suggesting that suggesting that she learned it in a a play context. Not a doctor context because in a doctor context I'm sure the default would be gloves. Yeah.
[47:01] Keith: Ah, right, right? right.
[47:10] Keith: I agree right? Yeah I agree yeah I look I am 95% sure that the answer is she's done this to a man before and a sexual circle. Ah.
[47:18] Mike: Well yeah, so.
[47:28] Keith: Setting. So.
[47:29] Mike: I Don't think women should have to do that I think that I think that men should not ask women to do that I think that ah like sex is already mostly about for the man and like you just it's like come on like how many.
[47:34] Keith: I agree.
[47:43] Keith: Um, right? Yeah, okay this is good this This is a nice segue. So this person says free use all day.
[47:43] Mike: How many bells and whistles are required. You're like the woman's already way more attractive than you are like her body's set up to like so you know super be a super erotic for you. Etc.
[47:56] Keith: I'm very into free use I have a fantasy of staying at a guy's place all day being naked in his bed watching shows or whatever and him being able to use me whenever he feels like it throughout the day and as many times as he wants I want to just leave his come in slash on me all day does anyone else have experience with something like this. What did it look like was it enjoyable for both sides. Was there any physical pain. Did you need a lot of after care or anything else I should be aware of that's it. That's the post I brought this? Yeah, go ahead. Okay I So free use has been growing.
[48:22] Mike: Um, I mean go ahead yet to go ahead.
[48:33] Keith: In the porn word cloud I think over the last few years. There's a number of professional companies that are specializing in free use and on pornhub like 1 of the featured thumbnails is more and more often featuring free use and so I'm I'm a little bit curious about why.
[48:35] Mike: Yes.
[48:52] Keith: That's emerging in the zeitgeist but I don't actually even like really understand this like are there any limits on this like is the woman is there an expectation of reasonable duration and or an attempt to please the woman or does she really just want. To be used as like a masturbation sleeve and he just you know pumps None times and and orgasms like what what is it that she actually is craving here.
[49:17] Mike: Yeah, so yeah, my my reading of this suggests that yes there are limits that basically like that you know they're at a minimum at a minimum There's some sort of protocol setup where she can like turn off the free useness at any time meaning. Like maybe I mean obviously during sex but but typically would be like before you know like when it isn't happening so like she'd have some ah Headband she puts on or some some some indication that like free uses on right now. Ah okay, so like so you so yes because obviously a woman doesn't like if she has like a terrible diarrhea.
[49:40] Keith: Yeah.
[49:56] Mike: Or is sick or whatever like has other things to do doesn't you know, want this to be going on. Um, and then the the porn of this that I've seen for the most part is something around like.
[49:59] Keith: Right? right.
[50:15] Mike: The woman just not paying attention to the guy like something like she's playing video game. She's reading a book or whatever right? and so then and she just completely ignores so it so in that sense it reminds me of like how animals behave.
[50:16] Keith: Right are doing the dishes. Yeah.
[50:32] Mike: You know, like the typical thing where like the male dog is like jumping on the female and she's just not. She just doesn't care. Ah, so that's kind of interesting. So the guy wants to simulate that and or whatever one one or both of the one to simulate that and have um.
[50:33] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
[50:49] Mike: Have that go on the the thing for this particular post or a couple things that I would say about her post. Ah 1 is that um semen dries and so like when she says she wants to have ah on her skin all day long like that she does she doesn't actually want that it just gets gross and then secondly. Ah.
[51:00] Keith: Yeah.
[51:07] Mike: She should be prepared for like a lot of watching wheel of Fortune and the price is right because ah he just isn't going to fuck her I'm not sure what she's imagining is going to happen here but like I mean the the most compelling thing I can think of here for the woman is like there's sort of a surprise element like it's like you don't know when it's going to happen.
[51:16] Keith: Yeah.
[51:25] Mike: But like the thing I know for sure is it's not going to happen continuously all day long like most of the day she's just going to be sitting there. Yeah says.
[51:29] Keith: Right? Yeah and what does even I don't and yeah I guess it's hard for me to wrap my mind around why this is okay I can imagine it being compelling. Yeah I can imagine it being compelling for.
[51:42] Mike: Oh I have it? Yeah, ah go ahead. Yeah.
[51:48] Keith: A woman to ah have this power that or to have this like device which is her body that can bring pleasure to her man and that that being sort of compelling or arousing or satisfying to them in some way but the free use parts sort of removes her. Pleasure or emotions from the equation and so yeah I don't I don't know exactly what's going on there.
[52:15] Mike: I don't think I mean she could derive pleasure from it like it doesn't have to be necessarily not I mean if it it depends on how long how long the encounter lasts and so forth like it doesn't have to be that she's playing the Nintendo or whatever. Well. They're having sex and she's he's or whatever while he's having sex that she's just totally doing something else like she could participate when he's doing it the way I've often interpreted this trend or this desire from women is simply something like she's trying to she does it makes her uncomfortable that he masturbates to porn.
[52:43] Keith: Um.
[52:52] Keith: Ah, ah.
[52:53] Mike: And thinks of other women and maybe she's afraid he's cheating on her and she's like well so in other words I Unfortunately like I hear that there could be a kink here and fine. That's cool if there is but I actually generally interpret it kind of negatively the like. The masturbation like you do encounter a fair number of fairly frequently women getting upset at a guy masturbating the porn and stuff and like this is a way for her to say look like now you don't ever have to masturbate you know now I I control your sex completely which I could see being a female drive and or fetish like oh I want him to only.
[53:18] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[53:28] Keith: Right? Yeah I mean I think women get upset when they find out their partners masturbating mostly in situations where their sex life is unsatisfactory in some way because then it's like oh and you're also doing this right? It's like a.
[53:29] Mike: Think about me.
[53:45] Mike: Maybe but I mean it could just be like the prevalence of porn makes it so that like I don't know what what percentage of masturbation sessions like in the us yesterday which by the way like I did this I did this? um like sometimes when I'm running I'll sit there and like.
[53:47] Keith: Yeah.
[54:03] Mike: Do like calculations in my head or like I'm just bored right? So I you know so I was computing I was trying to figure out like is it the case that there is always at every instant of the day a man ejaculating and I believe in the United States or worldwide. Whatever and I I believe the answer is yeah yes, so basically like.
[54:04] Keith: Yeah, me too.
[54:15] Keith: Yes, absolutely yeah, Ah, of course no Mike it's it's.
[54:21] Mike: And there's just a constant stream of semen shooting out of men. Well it doesn't I mean if yeah.
[54:28] Keith: It's but it's worse than that. Okay I mean look there's there's 150000000 men let's say 100000000 of them are like able to orgasm easily and you know orgasms last for say 10 seconds and happen on average every other day right? like you just end up with yeah, it would be more. It's not just like.
[54:33] Mike: Yeah, yeah.
[54:42] Mike: Yeah, okay, it's not definitely.
[54:46] Keith: But there's a continuous stream. It's like there's a continuous waterfall. Um, like if you could so.
[54:50] Mike: I'm not sure that's I can't remember what I came up with as to like how yeah you're probably right that there's like yeah it has to be. It's are you saying that even in like kind of a even in like a small ish town of like 50000 people or something that there's even in that.
[54:53] Keith: At the as at the ah milliliters per None or whatever it rivals niagara falls.
[55:07] Mike: Reduced or like let's say you live in like a whatever like ah either a big city or a small city. But like if you drew a line you know I don't know a mile radius from your house that there's always someone ejaculating within that circle I mean basically I think you're saying even that is true.
[55:22] Keith: This is beginning to sound like a consulting interview. You know where they do these order of Magnitude calculations I need to do the math to to figure this out. But my my intuition is that it's a lot of semen right.
[55:25] Mike: Okay, fine. Yeah right? And of course I right? time of day matters too. But okay, so ah, ah. I forget why I brought that up it just made. Yeah, just I think it was relevant to like the the free use and like that. Okay, so as yeah I was gonna ask do like what percentage of masturbation sessions for men involve something like porn hub and I'm guessing fifty or more percent something like that.
[55:55] Keith: What do you mean by Pornhub you mean some sort of visual stimulation that isn't a human.
[55:59] Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, video a video porn videos on on like you know, whereas like fifty years ago zero of course did pretty much now. It's 50% plus maybe 80% plus like it's really really common and and that's like i.
[56:11] Keith: Yeah.
[56:17] Mike: Even if you don't have relationship problems like I think that that's something that women might not love because the vast majority of women don't look at Porn sites right? So yeah.
[56:29] Keith: Yeah, yeah I agree this reminds me of I mean we have to wrap up here. But this reminds me of something that I've been meaning to ask you what how many times what percentage of times that you masturbate. Do you use your phone for the.
[56:48] Mike: Not a high percentage maybe 10 or less.
[56:48] Keith: Visual stimulus.
[56:53] Keith: Okay I I asked because I think I can count on 2 hands. The amount of the number of times I've used my phone I I detest using my phone. The only time I would use it is if I'm in some circumstance where like I absolutely cannot use my computer.
[57:01] Mike: Huh.
[57:08] Mike: Ah, it's ah like.
[57:10] Keith: And I know I'm unusual in that regard I I Really hate using my phone to read generally um and this is I think related to that.
[57:18] Mike: Let's say let's say you're at ah, let's say you're at like a family event or at a family member's house or just a situation where like you don't completely control your space are you saying that you would take your computer into like ah, a lockable bathroom and then like set it up.
[57:27] Keith: Yeah.
[57:34] Mike: I Mean the problem. So the problem I have with that is that it's just so obvious what you're doing right? right? You're like oh yeah I Just want to go sit on the toilet with my computer and it's like what like I'm assuming those are the situations where you'll switch to the phone. Yeah.
[57:37] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[57:45] Keith: Yeah I mean it would have to be something where there's There's no way that I could get away with using a computer but I be. It's not like I go over to like my uncle's house for for dinner and you know feel the bird and need to masturbate right? right? at that time like.
[57:52] Mike: How do you by the way in that such K go like.
[58:03] Keith: Most of the time I masturbate you know before I go to bed or something or in the time where I'm alone at least and so.
[58:03] Mike: That's true.
[58:09] Mike: But let's say I mean you're ah traveling through Europe right now with a lovely young lady like do you just have you just zeroed out your masturbation habit or your practice. Oh you have you you you actually don't you don't do it and that's not because I know.
[58:14] Keith: Um, ah yes I have I have.
[58:27] Mike: Knowing you. It's not because you don't want to do it. There's probably some good content out there that you write So you don't You're unable to unwilling to or unable to negotiate with your ah travel companion. Ah some time alone.
[58:27] Keith: Um, yeah.
[58:38] Keith: I think she would gladly permit me but I feel like I mean we're we're sharing hotel rooms. It feels sort of I wonder if she has hey Alissa have you masturbated since we got to Europe yeah couple times.
[58:50] Mike: I Mean what.
[58:57] Keith: She says yes cut Damn it. Ah.
[58:58] Mike: Ah, so where what can can you know I mean can you find out from her where she's where where she's been doing it in the bathroom or.
[59:02] Keith: A elissa like where in the bathroom or the shower or something in the shower where you went out for a run. So oh she says when I went out for a run that makes sense. Yeah, she has not been running and so like I don't have moments at the hotel alone. That's my exercise.
[59:12] Mike: Okay, so so I I think part of what's I think that part of what's going on there is that ah she doesn't have to worry like let's say that she was in the in the midst of doing it in in bed or whatever if you walked in you.
[59:21] Keith: She says that's her exercise.
[59:32] Mike: She she can immediately stop and you don't know.
[59:33] Keith: Yeah, that's true. Yeah, she doesn't have a dick out.
[59:37] Mike: Right? So there's like there's like a privacy thing there that men value and I think this is but me to the original question. This is what leads to a man using the phone because it's like then it's like oh I need it to be private whereas Yeah, you should ask her if she was thinking of you in the shower.
[59:40] Keith: Yeah.
[59:48] Keith: Right? right? Yeah, she left the room so I can't I'm sure she was come on man or who else I mean with within a donnis like myself who else sort of think about.
[59:56] Mike: No smart smart lady I think she was thinking of the guy that she practiced the prostate stimulation on that was my guess. Yeah.
[01:00:07] Keith: Could call back all right? That'll do it for episode 74 of your mileage may very thanks your time thanks to Mike for his time and we look forward to having you back for the next episode of your mileage may v.

YMMVYour Mileage May Vary

Episode 74: Free Use, Contraction Counts, Backdoor Flavor, MFF Declined, Gifted Plugs

Episode Transcript