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Episode 95: ChatGPT Literotica, Dick Ratings, Masturbating Near Sister, Wrong Hole, Cum While Giving Head

Team YMMV | 12-8-2022 | 1:04:40

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Mike makes a tremendous effort to get ChatGPT to generate literotica and answer sex questions. Essentially, the question is whether an AI can replace our jobs here at YMMV. Results are better than you might have expected, but we're not afraid for our jobs quite yet.

After dispensing with a rare piece of positive feedback on the podcast, Mike takes on some sex worker discussions, including how to handle requests for dick ratings and how many clients are seen in any given day.

A woman wants to know if it's ok to masturbate while in the bed near her sister who is supposedly sleep. Another woman finds cum just unacceptable. And yet another experiences the "wrong hole" moment as her partner isn't as careful as he could have been when withdrawing and re-inserting his penis.

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/95/dick-rating

https://ymmv.me/95/client-count

https://ymmv.me/95/sex-worker-choice

https://ymmv.me/95/masturbation

https://ymmv.me/95/gross-cum

https://ymmv.me/95/wrong-hole

https://ymmv.me/95/fast

https://ymmv.me/95/moans

https://ymmv.me/95/cum-while-giving

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

  • [00:00] Mike: The texture of semen can vary depending on a number of factors such as a person's hydration levels and diet in general Semen has a thick and sticky consistency. It may feel slightly warm or room temperature and may have a slightly salty or sweet taste. Some people may also describe the texture of semen as slightly creamy or viscous. It's important to remember that every person is different and that the texture of semen can vary from person to person I have to tell you listener dear listener that I didn't write surprisingly that piece of text. In fact, it was written by a chat bot chat gbt. But I believe is the most advanced chat bot available on the internet right now which is eerily human and its responses to questions and that was a response to the prompt. What is the texture of semen when in your mouth now probably most of you have heard of chat gbt and if you haven't It's available at chat dotopenai.com/chat and you can try it out for Yourself. You have to make an account Amazingly my account has not been Banned. Ah. In spite of my repeated efforts to have it write stories about men who or people rather who wind up in various predicaments with their fists stuck in each other's rectums some of the stories that produced were pretty funny. Ah, but.
  • [01:30] Mike: I'm pretty amazed by its willingness. Even though it often indicates that the content it's producing may violate its content policy even so to produce content that's pretty down and dirty. Thank you for. Listening to episode 95 here of your mileage may vary. Ah you can reach us online at at Ymmvpod on Twitter I'm assuming Twitter is still functional when you listen to this or you can send us email at ymmvpod@gmail.com I am Mike and my cohost Keith is not here this week ironically or perhaps interestingly Keith was with me maybe 24 hours ago or a little more ah, as was Allie a frequent guest or a past guest on the show. Ah, they were here with me in the lake Tahoe area of California Nevada for some skiing and fun generally but they had to leave and had various commitments that made it impossible for them to participate in in the podcast. So here here I am as a winter blizzard bears down up on my little house here at a toasty ° in front of a fire which needs no stoking in my house. Um, and ah yeah, I've set the thermostat as high as I dare to keep it warm in here.
  • [03:02] Mike: Maybe melt a little of the snow off the roof and just keep myself as warm as I can um today I really want to talk about and I'm Mike by the way and my cohost Keith is is not around ah but he'll be back next week I'm sure um what commitments do they have what made it impossible for Keith and and alie to come. Talk to you guys Allie tells me that she's overemployed apparently there's a subreddit for that. It's for people who have multiple jobs I guess full time jobs but don't tell each job about the other necessarily and so they're just trying to sort of. Maximize their income and ah Keith is probably best described as everybody as much underemployed which isn't to say that he's not employed but to say that Keith could do more? Um, but of course a major element of his employment is. Providing content and humor for our podcast here. Um, but why aren't they here? Well Keith recently ah achieved a major personal milestone that I'm sure we'll talk about on the podcast of running a marathon in an incredibly rapid time for him. Um, something significantly under 3 hours which is a very impressive achievement something that I'm sure I could never physically do even though I am also a pretty dedicated runner. So bravo to him and I think he had some sort of event associated with that his run club and um Allie well she went home and i.
  • [04:35] Mike: Just didn't text her so that's where we are now so today on the podcast. We're going to talk about chat gbt sort of Ai generated content and where that's going to lead adult content in the future. Ah, we're going to respond I'm going to talk about some feedback we got positive this time which is nice. Usually we get more negative feedback and then answer some questions. Ah, but first check Gpt. So if you've been under a rock recently. This is a Ai system. That's. Preternaturally good at responding to various queries as I was preparing for the podcast today I noticed that they've actually removed I think one of the most amusing elements of the system which was you could ask it to write a story for you. Um, and so I as I mentioned previously had it write various stories with. Men playing basketball against each other and then getting their fists somehow entangled in each other's rectums. Ah, or I think I had to write 1 where 100 men actually had their fists in each other's rectums which is actually sort of difficult to envision or imagine um.
  • [05:50] Mike: It doesn't seem to want to write stories anymore. But it is still answering questions that honestly we might answer on the podcast here I'm not super impressed by its answers. But I thought you might be interested to see what it comes up with and I would point out that um this system is. Ah, surprisingly competent at answering questions. For example I conducted earlier today. A software engineer interview with chat gbt now it didn't do it. It didn't pass the interview in the sense that it repeatedly offered flawed solutions to the questions that I offered. However, it did. Ah I would say exceed something like 80 or 90% of the typical people that I've interviewed in the last five years for software engineering positions meaning it. Yeah I mean it was more competent than them I'm not sure if that says more about the incompetence of the people I interview or.
  • [06:46] Mike: Well maybe something about my interviewing skill but or or Gpt chat gpt's capability in this way, but it was able to write like reasonable pieces of code that answered the prompts that I gave it. It's just that it would make mistakes I would tell it it made a mistake. It would then come back and say well. Yeah. You're right I made a mistake but then make another mistake and and so on so then of course I got bored and moved over to more sexual oriented topics as I do so let me give you some examples of things that I've asked chat gp t um I said do women enjoy swallowing men when giving men oral sex. This is kind of boring I mean it. It gave what I would consider kind of a typical answer. It said there's no one size fitts all answer to the question as different people have different preferences when it comes to oral sex. Some women may enjoy swallowing during oral sex while others may not. Important to communicate open and ah openly and honestly with your partner to determine what feels good for both of you ultimately, the most important thing is that both partners are comfortable and satisfied with their sexual experiences now I would mention that um, a couple of nights ago when Alie was here she fell asleep on the couch here in my house. Ah, we were watching porn from efucked that's efuktdotcom which is a site that has pretty aggressive. Why am I bringing this up. Well anyway, as as a pretty aggressive porn on it. In fact, it has a series called the worst of Pornhub um, which is.
  • [08:15] Mike: It's it's just porn that you probably don't want to watch honestly. Ah and ah Alie actually fell asleep watching the porn which was kind of sweet but ah I was I noticed. Watching it because there was a ton of semen being ejaculated onto people's faces and mouths it just made me think how how important it is for something like that for you to be aroused in order to find it compelling. Um I didn't. Yeah I mean while I found a lot of the videos humorous they weren't actually turning me on and they weren't yeah when I see a lot of semen being sprayed around just aprobo nothing or when I'm not in sort of a sexual mood. It. It doesn't do much for me and frankly like even in a sexual mood if there's too much semen. Ah, doesn't do that much for me I think we saw one that was perhaps a japanese porn that was obviously just some sort of hose had been attached to the man's penis and so an absolutely ridiculous amount of semen spewed out and so you know that that well wasn't real semen of course but that wouldn't that wouldn't be something someone would like. Moving on though chat gbt here I asked it. Why do men watch porn so much more often than women which I think is true. Men do watch it more often again, it said there is no definitive answer to this question. People's reasons for watching porn can vary greatly. Some men might watch porn more often than women because they are more visually stimulated.
  • [09:45] Mike: Meaning men are or because they are more easily able to find and access porn. It's also possible the cultural and soicideal factors play a role blah blah blah ultimately the reasons for individuals porn viewing habits are complex and can be influenced by many factors. Okay, so it's basically non-committal there and I should note that every single one of these questions I get something that says. This content may violate our content policy if you believe this to be an error blah blah blah. So basically I consistently am violating their content policy I also asked. Do you think women typically fake orgasms when with a new partner. It said it is impossible for me to know the and know the answer this question and then just gave me some sort of boilerplate about. Being an a an openaii model a language model that can't know things like that. Um I think the answer of course is typically might be the wrong word I don't think women typically fake orgasms with a new partner. But I think it's common. It's relatively common I was reading a post on ah perhaps. Sex workers subreddit about how women. Ah, actually it was a woman claiming that only eighty only I say eighty to 90% of the time does she fake orgasms with clients who want to try to give her orgasm I I actually think she was probably probably under counting there. Um.
  • [11:01] Mike: I suspect. It's basically 100% um, similarly I've read um posts from a camgirl problems subreddit for example, where a woman was saying that when doing a private show with a client or a customer. Maybe she'll give him 10 minutes and and she does whatever he asks her to do the same kind of thing I mean he'll want her to have an orgasmal want her to masturbate and and actually she interestingly used a similar number 80 to 90% of the time she's faking with 10 to 20% of the time. Not ah. Again I suspect. It's more like 98 to 99% of the time an interesting element there is and I've talked with Keith about this. My co-host about this a few times. Ah this this business of faking orgasms is much more prevalent I think for women than for men. It does happen with men and particularly for wearing a condom It's very possible to fake an orgasm. It's something I've done once or twice maybe twice in my life. But for women, it's just a much more It's much more present. It's much more of a reality in their lives. It's something that a decision they could make kind of frequently. And that's simply because I think in many cases. Orgasm is a little more elusive for the woman and the man wants her to have one really badly and so that when you have that combination. You're going to get some sort of faking. Um I did ask chat gbt the.
  • [12:31] Mike: And of all-im important or very common question I said what substance do you think comes out of a woman out of women when they squirt we get that question. We. We've dealt with this question a few times on the podcast. Ah, chat gbt said squirting is a term used to describe the expulsion of a liquid from a woman's urethra during sexual activity the substance that is expelled varies from person to person. Okay and can depend on many factors such as hydration levels and individual anatomy. In some cases. Liquid may be similar to urine while in others. It may be a clear odorless fluid. It is important to remember that the experience of squirting is different for for every person and there's no one size-fits allll explanation for the substance that it's expelled so that's interesting I mean so I should take a little ah tiny digression here about. What chat? How Jet chat gpt works I mean it's kind of amazing. You know there isn't presumably a person on the other side of this website responding to my questions it is in fact, a piece of software. Ah yeah, I'm I'm confident of that and I believe their software is actually open source meaning you can see how it. You know how the code operates I've not done that but I am a little curious. Ah the way it works essentially is it. It's consumed as much text as the authors can find on the internet and constructed a language model based off of that to respond to questions.
  • [13:59] Mike: It's amazing. Um, its ability to speak in a very coherent and colloquial english I also happen to know that it can speak in other languages which is also impressive. Of course that comes from simply consuming all of this material online. Interestingly here it apparently has learned that the squirting may be similar to urine and sometimes not will look as you know if you've listened to this podcast a fair amount. it's it's it's certainly urine. Um, and so this is probably a result of it spending a little too much time on. Subreddit where people for whatever reason are not willing to be a little completely honest about what squirting is here's another question I asked it. Why do men masturbate so frequently I think I had Keith on my mind when I posted this one. Said there is no the chat gpd said there is no deficifinitive answer to this question as people's reasons for masturbating can vary greatly I don't think they can very grayly but okay, some men may masturbate more frequently than others because they are more sexually active or have a higher sex drive. Others may do it because it helps them to relieve stress or because they simply enjoy the feeling ultimately the reasons for any individual's masturbation habits are complex and can be influenced by many different factors I think in a lot of cases a man just sort of his brain just sort of indicates to him that it's time to masturbate.
  • [15:27] Mike: And they're not really men are often not really clearly coherently cognizant of why they made the choice that they wanted to go masturmate them. So then I asked why do women not masturbate that much and frankly it gave kind of a similar answer. Just um, saying that it's individual and complex and so forth. Then I asked it to write a literatic code story. It didn't want to so I searched around online and I found somebody else who'd managed to come up with a prompt that got some kind of Literotica out of it. So let me give you that now. Chechebt said if your character and the woman they meet engage in sexual activity in a private setting without interrupttions. They could have a variety of sexual experiences together here are a few examples of the types of activities they could engage in they could engage in oral sex with 1 person performing on the other. Can engage in manual sex with 1 person using their hands to stimulate the other person's genitals they can engage in penetrative sex with 1 person inserting the penis or a sex toy into the other person's vagina or anus they could engage in bdsm activities with 1 person taking on a dominant role and the other person taking on a submissive role. This could involve. Activities such as tying up spanking or sensory deprivation. They could engage in role-playing or other forms of fantasy play with each person taking on a different persona or scenario this could involve dressing up in costumes, props etc. These are just a few of the examples of the many possible sexual activities that your character and the woman they meet could engage in.
  • [16:55] Mike: So it didn't really write a story. It just sort of gave like the outline of what a story might look like um then this person tried again and chat gbt suggested that. Um, if 2 people were in a public setting. In the story they could have they might have to be discreet or cautious about their encounter. They could spend the next hour trying to avoid being caught or interrupted. They could take breaks to check for potential threats or obstacles and they could try to remain quiet and stealthy and so forth. So it wasn't really writing a Literotica story but it was it was coming up with like reasonably coherent. Strategies for a person to engage in sex in a certain and a certain way that would kind of resemble a story. Um I asked what the most effective way to pleasure. A woman was and it suggested that it depends on the individual but it did um. Point out that often women prefer to have their clitoris stimulated so I was impressed by that I asked what the most effective way to pleasure a man was and it did it did mention the penis it was able to tell me that the most sensitive part of the penis is the glands or the head. It's good. It has a high concentration of nerve endings and is. Most sensitive to touch touch and stimulation. Um chat tbt told me the shaft of the penis is also sensitive but not to the same degree as the gland that was helpful but every person is different um similar thing for women pointing out that their breasts and nipples are more sensitive.
  • [18:23] Mike: Interestingly not indicating that men's nipple are sensitive which can be the case. Okay I asked chat Chebt to suggest some safe words to use during bondage. Ah and that was more interesting chat chebt.
  • [18:42] Mike: Ah, told me what save words were pre-agreed words or phrases used to communicate boundaries and establish consent suggested the word red to indicate that an activity should stop immediately yellow to indicate that an activity should slow down or change and green to indicate everything's okay and the activity continue continue. It reminds me of um, one of the videos. That we watched for aie was falling asleep on the couch from e fucked um and it was a woman just being merciless mercilessly really mercilessly beaten by a man. Um and he kept checking if she was fine and she did not use her safe for it and said she was fine. So here I then asked gp chat chiputt for some other. Options for safe words as red yellow and green were kind of boring. It suggested banana to indicate that the activities should stop immediately pineapple to indicate that it should slow to under change I feel like pineapple would be more apt for stop immediately given like the spikes and the fact that. Having it up here like ass or vagina would be painful anyway, then it suggested Apple is to indicate. Everything's okay and the activity can continue. That's nice so banana pineapple and Apple then it suggested ah colors blue is everything should stop orange to indicate it should slow down wait I think before it suggested color. So it's back to colors right? Red green. And also suggested a kiwi and an avocado. So. It's really interested in foods. But I mean you know good good on it for coming up with ah some kind of reasonable suggestions for what could be used.
  • [20:13] Mike: So I suggest people try out chat gbt and if you're a listener and you come up with some interesting content that it's able to generate for you. We'd definitely be interested. You can send it in at ymmvpod@gmail.com and we'll check it out so moving on I wanted to. Read a piece of feedback we got from somebody who is which was positive. It's kind of rare for us to get positive feedback I think it's just the nature of the beast with podcasting that people that become motivated to tell you something about your podcast say negative things. So this person said. Thank you for the enjoyable and entertaining podcast. Check this out. I must admit you both seem very smart, wealthy and worldly. That's true I think we do seem all 3 of those and I can't speak for Keith completely. But I think that I perhaps am all 3 of those then he asked us some specific questions that I'm going to get to a little bit I mean there's some that are like relevant to Keith. Ah, that I'll let him answer later. He says um how is Mike able to afford a lake tahoe home where I am right now and I will tell you the way I afforded the lake tahoe home was by having an investment in the hedge fund of one of the gentlemen who was featured in the. Movie the big short I'm not going to say much more about that. But I thought it was kind of amusing to take the profits or some of the profits from that investment and then buy a house with it because the big short of course was about the housing market crashing after the various shenanigans that went on there so it amused me to.
  • [21:48] Mike: And it also seemed like after the crash of the housing market a pretty safe place to put money. He asked if it was inheritance or hard work. Well I'm not sure if I worked hard to um, have the the fellow that was fictionalized in the big in the big short um make such a good investment with the money but I did. Earn the money before I put it into his investment fund did either of you win the lottery this gentleman asks when born or do either of you work full time under a remote situation. Um, so ah, speaking for myself. Ah. I do think I won the lottery when I was born but not necessarily financially I think simply you know, living in the United States and very attributes that I was lucky enough to be born with do constitute sort of winning the lottery so I would guess I would say yes, but no I haven't had my parents give me any money. And ah yes I have ah I work under a remote situation. However, um, I have a job that does not require as much effort as other people's jobs. In fact, um, probably ah of all the people listening to this podcast if you took all the hours. Each person works divided it into the dollars they earn to achieve a number per hour I probably have the highest if I even include all the people listening I don't know maybe there's some incredibly wealthy person listening. Um.
  • [23:18] Mike: And the way I did that is by being clever. Um, let's see he asked about sex. He says he believes I'm married and as Keith want to settle down and get married I think ah Keith can answer that later. He asked about the background of our friendship. We worked in the past. Maybe. Now at this point more than ten years ago at a technology startup together. Um, and ah yeah I mean just ah, continue to be friends after that. Um, and what is the foreign language theme song I think he's referring to the song that's typically played at the end of episodes and that. Um, actually Allie asked me that question while we were skiing a couple days ago the um song that plays at the end of the podcast is ah a french song by a fellow named serch gansbo or Serge Gainsburg I guess you'd say in english and ah. He in the late sixty s early 70 s was a pretty famous french singer and um, started dating a pretty young woman. He was 40 around forty years old at the time and she was well she was in her early 20 s but they pretended she was younger than that I think the book Lolita was still on people's minds. Ah, the notion of kind of a perhaps you know some somebody might be underage. In fact, she was not underage and they recorded a song together called ju them which means I love you in french and essentially they have sex in the song. Um.
  • [24:54] Mike: And ah the lyrics contain words like um I come and I go um in between your kidneys which doesn't sound red in english but essentially in and out of your vagina and ah and ah. Say ah, she says things like you know I'm trying to I'm not going to come too soon and she's appreciative of that but then toward the end of the song. She wants him to orgasm and so he does and she sounds like she enjoys it a lot. Um, she has sort of a british accent even in french and with her youthful looks at that age. Ah, it was pretty compelling and shocking to people at the time. So I thought it would be a fun song to use and I figured it was not well known enough that we would not get copyright infringement problems as a result of it. So maybe Keith can answer some more of the questions that this listener asked when he's back. From his um event associated with a marathon that he ran um but I'm going to move on to some more topics here. So I have been going to the sex workers. Only. A subreddit a fair amount recently and it's not because I've never actually hired a sex worker in my life. Ah, but I find it sort of interesting and now that Uncle Tony has disappeared off of the having fun hobbying subreddit which is the one for John's it's a little boring there.
  • [26:27] Mike: So've moved over and and started seeing the the woman's perspective which I find interesting. So I'm going to do a couple of posts that I got from that subreddit the first one is um, a woman who says that she did her first dick writing today now this is interestingly a thing that you see on. Ah, apparently you know sex workers of all stripes do this whether it's on a camsite or on or you know on Twitter different places men will ask to have their dick rated um now. It's confusing to me why a guy would bother to do this because I know that the true rat is essentially always effectively 0 women. Don't find penises aprobo nothing particularly compelling. Um I think I tried to ask chat gbt questions that would lead it to. Say something like that to to sort of admit that reality to me but it just kept flagging the content. It wouldn't say it but this is the true truth. So this is a woman who says I know this is a very small achievement but I'm somewhat proud of myself and it was way more pleasant than I thought it would be look if you're getting paid to just rate a picture. That's pretty pleasant I'm you know pretty compelling for context I do only fans and I'm on my third month on it I had a few guys who asked me if I did dick ratings. So only fans apparently is another place this happens so eventually I started offering them well today I got my first purchase of a dick rate.
  • [27:58] Mike: From my current favorite subscriber. He's super polite and it was no hassle at all to get him paid to pay upfront then he sents a pics. They were super good. Quality. He sent 4 pickics and um, they were such good quality that I could imagine him starting his own own only fans with that quality. Of course. We all know that that would not be a successful only plans only fans he had a nice dick so we got a positive rating. Yeah I mean this seems like an excellent way to make money. It actually makes me a little jealous and makes me think maybe I should impersonate a woman online and start doing dick ratings. Because it would be a very easy way to make money and honestly with a sex podcast I already get some dick pics by the way Allie wanted us this last couple days she wanted to see dick pics that we'd received and we didn't show that to her because um, it's just not compelling. Um. Didn't understand why she wanted to see it I found some other pictures of Dick's to show her and she started laughing I thought they were pretty compelling dicks big big ones sometimes shown kind of against a vagina to show how large they are but she she just found them comical. So I don't I think that's the normal. Female female reaction and it's not because penises well baby penises are inherently funny. But I think most of it's just because um when you send a woman a picture of your penis apropos nothing. It's such a misunderstanding of female psychology that it's amusing to the woman in in much the same way like any other sort of comedy.
  • [29:30] Mike: Kind of sketch would be It's the idea that you're yeah, you're just completely missing how um women sort of operate in the world and interpret the world if you send like some something like that to them. Okay, so another posting from a sex worker that I found interesting. Um. This is a person actually asking a question because this is a subreddit for sex workers only so presumably. There are a lot of them there and she asks how many clients do you serve in a given week now I thought this would be kind of useful information for a ah people listening to this podcast I mean you you should know I mean. I think I mentioned a few weeks ago that ah when I read a post about how women deal with their periods or having an sti or say say a yeast infection not an sti really but a yeast infection when needing to or needing to make money as a sex worker like I learned that that. Various things they do that involve maybe kind of blocking up their vagina with some sponge or some other product and that just made me think like oh yeah, you have very little information if you hire an escort about what happened recently with their body. Um, and this sort of lends more credence to that. So this person says I've been escorting off on and off for a few years and I'm finally considering doing part-time work and balancing more regular clients lately I've had have 2 or 3 appointments around my full-time job schedule and sometimes I take on new clients. How do you balance it.
  • [31:07] Mike: She's asking now this couple responses here. 1 person says some weeks some weeks I see 0 okay, some weeks I see 14 to twenty I try to only see 2 or 3 in an absolute max per day for my own body insanity but it is rare that I would work seven days straight unless I'm touring. Okay so that. Suggests that it's you know, maybe 3 is a is a reasonable max I don't actually I'm not I mean I think that's not true. Um, in the main for example for a woman as they say walking the blade which is a woman who's working a street prostitute. I suspect their number would be significantly higher per day here's a person replying saying I feel lazy I only do 2 to 3 a week and I don't get a lot of calls from my advertisings here's another person saying 0 to 3 a week another person saying they limit themselves. She limits herself to 3 per week here's another who says. Ah, usually do 2 to 3 per day by the way her username is escort to the assholes. There's occasionally the four per day and of course those are days where no one can come but usually ld comes what does that mean without fail daily I don't know what that means. I first started. It was a minimum 4 to 5 a day and it really sucked. My rates were too low and I have to see 4 people just to make what I make in an hour now. So I was basically fucking fucking myself ragged it got burnt out really quickly these days I'm content with having to do 2 or 3 because it's less chaotic and more beneficial than it used to be.
  • [32:41] Mike: For balance you got me there. My clients were spread throughout the day, etc, etc. Ah right, the person said what's an ld. It's a lazy dog. That's a new term for me. So I guess the idea of being a guy you know a prostitute ah an escort sex worker typically wants the guy to finish quickly. And so she's sort of complaining softly about men who take too long. Um, here's another person who says that she saw 4 on Monday this would have been this past Monday very recently it's been very slow by the way escorts have been complaining online on Reddit a lot about. Escorting being very slow presumably because of the the economy. Um, she said when she worked for an agency the most she saw in one day was thirteen I don't think that most men who hire escorts would imagine that they would be seeing. They might be client number 13 for the day. Ah, that's that's a lot. Um, it's it's an interesting thing and of course it's it's an interesting thing where the sort of. Experience that the man is having is so fundamentally different from the experience of the woman's having the man's experience. Is you know he gets up the courage or gets horny enough that he hires an escort. He maybe hasn't had sex in a week
  • [34:02] Mike: He meets her they have sex he leaves so from his experience. There's just him and this one woman and of course her experience is just this complete succession of men totally different and I strongly suspect that if men could see sort of a video well men that don't have that as their fetish could see a video of the experience that the women are having. Would make them much less inclined to higher escorts and maybe they would they would make some other choices there here's another post on the sex workers only subredd that I thought was interesting. Why can't men Why men can't believe that a woman is a sex worker out of pure Choice. So She's basically Asking. You know why? Yeah why? Why can't a man believe that this would be a choice as opposed to something that's Done. You know completely because of a drug addiction or just absolute poverty need for money and so forth. Ah, she says this man that she you know this man that hired her. So this man that hired her. Continue telling her that if a person enjoys doing this taking off their clothes and having sex for money then it's immoral. But if they do it as a means for survival only and don't have other choices then it's moral in his words, she agreed because she wanted to get his money and she said that he could give her a bunch of money to help her. And of course he was not interested in doing that. Um, but interesting that he was drawing a distinction between enjoying it being immoral and not enjoying it being moral. That's a strange psychological distinction that this man is drawing. Um.
  • [35:36] Mike: Some of the people that responded to it pointed out that that they did get into the industry. Um because they had no money. Um, but you know over a period of time came to sort of find it wasn't that that bad or it was something they liked doing here's another woman that says she likes sex work. Like the agency. It gives me over my own body that I'm able to make money out of something I enjoy doing people fuck for way less an illusion of love or connection some kind of warmth I like my lines clear. She says it's a job. A fun job I think this is a thing I think I've mentioned this before on the podcast. That's very hard. For men to understand heterosexual men I mean the notion that someone could enjoy or be indifferent or kind of positive. Not super enjoy but just be kind of like look this isn't a big deal um to having sex with men. Um I think this is like a male gaze phenomenon where. Men ah think well since I as a man would never want to give a blowjob to a man. Ah then how could a woman want to do that and frankly, that was one of the things I was wrestling with my head as Allie was falling asleep on the couch and I was watching man after man. Facials to women in kind of nasty ways on efucked.com I wasn't aroused at all and I was thinking this is kind of gross I mean it's just semen flying everywhere just just just lots of semen and then I thought well it's this gross for a woman and I mean I guess it's just less gross like it's just not. You know.
  • [37:09] Mike: They're they're ah not as broken up about the semen situation because you know for ah for a heterosexual woman I mean it's it's it's not It's not something that would be out of the ordinary for them to do. Um, here's another person that says it's not just men another woman who says it's not just men who can't believe a woman is a sex work out of choice. A lot of vanilla women think the same thing it's just because we all think differently and desire different things in life. It sounds like chat Gpt a little some people want a comfortable indoor job that is stable and not physically strenuous. Some people want jobs that pay a lot blah blah blah some people love being outdoors and you know I like to have sex for money. Um, she says if it's such an exploitative job based on the sex worker being destitute and doing it out of survival then why is. This guy feeding into the industry and exploiting someone sexually who's in that position. That's true. Um, it's a little strange that the man as you know a man a person who's hired an escort wants it to be someone who's doing it out of absolute necessity I think I'm not sure about this. But if I were hiring an escort. Probably prefer it to be someone who is doing it by choice than out of necessity. But I think the main reason I feel that way is because I've seen videos of of I mean I just think that a woman who's doing it out of choice probably would take care of herself better like she'd just be in better physical shape and mental shape and so forth. But also.
  • [38:41] Mike: I mean also like you know, just actually I yeah I feel the opposite of this guy I feel like it's more moral if the woman is doing it out of choice than if she's not okay, so let's move on to some sex related questions meet over the podcast here as I wait for the. Again, a snowstorm to descend upon my little house here First question is it acceptable to masturbate in a room with another person if there is asleep and unaware I female share a bedroom with my sister and I will often masturbate at night. She's already asleep and I keep silent throughout should I feel guilty for doing this now I have to say I have done this. I've done this in my life. Um I can remember 1 specific time. Um I'd stayed up late because I was I downloaded. Ah um I refused to pay to watch any of the star wars prequel or sequel movies because um, morally I'm opposed to. Supporting that garbage but I did want to see what happened in them and when one of them came out I stayed up late and downloaded a version that somebody in Japan had I think Japan maybe China had ah filmed using ah their phone um in the theater which is a pretty common thing you can do so I watched that and I was in. Living room of a house and I was there with a friend and the friend fell asleep was fast asleep and then I finished watching the thing turned lights out and decided to beat off. Um and subsequently I have actually wondered like you know I wonder if he saw that.
  • [40:14] Mike: Another example I can give or knew that that was happening another another example I can give is um I think in a camping a camping trip environment where the same thing happened in that case it was a woman that was there So probably she would have been less. It was a person I was dating so she would have been less irritated by that.
  • [40:34] Mike: In general I think ah you know? Well, first of all, there's like a male gaze thing here in the sense that it's obviously less less upsetting to me if it's a woman if it's 2 women. Um.
  • [40:51] Mike: Because it's it's actually a couple pieces to that I mean there's the fact that you know women masturbating is twin man much hotter than men masturbating. Well I mean in the sense that men masturbating is 0 amount hot. It's hot compared to that. Um, but there's also the fact that like women don't ah. Need to ejaculate semen nothing comes out. Um it doesn't feel that I mean the male appendage is just much more kind of aggressive and intrusive and so it feels like you know a person just rubbing rubbing like a you know two Square inch part of their body for a period of time. Not that weird now. Um, that being said I mean probably the person's sibling wouldn't want to see her orgasming and so that could be kind of rough so one of the commenters says on this post this is from Reddit says. Um as someone who grew up sharing a room with a sister. She absolutely knows.
  • [41:49] Mike: Um, that's interesting I don't know if that's true that she would know and also I don't know if she would know when it was happening specifically women can be kind of quiet in doing that I'm not sure men the problem with the man is it's just you need to move your hand enough and this is why my situation with the Star Wars Film I've wondered. Subsequently I'm I'm sure the person didn't know I was doing but you never know and that's not great. Um, so I mean is it acceptable. Not really, you shouldn't do that. Um, there's other situations you should masturbate in I I wondered by the way if.
  • [42:26] Mike: If for a woman I mean for a man of course every man has his preferred situations. He likes to masturbate in I've noticed that for example, masturbating in the shower I think is harder number one because well it's complicated if if you're in the shower to manage your porn selection. That's of course just a very practical thing. Ah, but also I think the hot water makes it a little bit different more difficult to orgasm. So that's sort of annoying so you know I mean yeah, you could be in a situation and the thing I wanted to say is I don't actually know if that's if this is an issue for women like if. If women have very specific preferences for different situations, different positions different locations to to masturbate and if they have situations or locations in which it would be very difficult to to achieve orgasm. Um. Yeah, so it's it I'm so I'm not sure so there is so there is that one one commenter suggests you know, go to the bathroom please um I don't know do women masturbate just sitting on the toilet that a thing women do where do where would they position their body in the bathroom if they were going to masturbate in the bathroom I actually don't know the answer to that. Um.
  • [43:35] Mike: Maybe sitting on the toilet would actually not be the most sort of effective position. It might be kind of annoying I Also don't yeah so it says Yeah, it's sort of sort of tricky. Um, let's move on this person. This person says. Ah, she needs advice I think come is gross and Now-bo Boyfriend doesn't want to have sex I 23 female and my boyfriend 25 are always are having an issue a couple weeks back I told him that I find it come gross I Just don't like it on my face I mean nobody like most people don't like it on their face but okay. Because it always gets in my eyes and I don't like swallowing because of taste and texture anywhere Else. He puts It is fine with me anywhere Else. He puts it.. That's nice I can deal with it. Well recently he told me he finds sex with me unappealing because of this issue he thinks that because I find come gross means that I find the act of him finishing gross which is not true. I like it when he finishes because I've always believed sex is about achieving Mutual pleasure I've tried compromising like giving him places to come but he still seems unhappy where she told him someone please help I'm stuck on this sorry for the mistakes I'm typing this at work. Well somebody suggests that ah if a partner told. Anyone any any part of what they're doing during sex doing during sex is gross I would feel really hurt and probably wouldn't want to have sex with him I don't know if that's right I think that um there are things people could do during sex that are over the line particularly men. Um, here's another person. My wife finds it gross but she loves it when I finish in her.
  • [45:10] Mike: Would never be able to come on her face or breasts as she's just extremely grossed out by it I'm not offended. It is what it is I think that men would find that kind of lame. Ah generally I think generally in my experience women don't this makes sense to me. Don't like. When the semen sort of sort of touches the air as long as it kind of stays in an orifice. It's not as gross one of the porns that um Allie and I watched on e fucked sorry to keep bringing this up was I think it was done with a lighting trick I'm not totally sure but it was a person who was ejaculating pretty yellow tinged.
  • [45:47] Mike: Semen and then I mean efut is like purposely finding terrible porns. So. That's why that's on there and then the woman has to lick it up which is not great or maybe there's another woman that licks it up off the vagina of the first one I'm not sure. But the ah the coloration of the the semen was not appetizing at all and I think that like avoiding that kind of visual can be useful in these situations. Um, but yeah I mean I think generally not but we're not wanting to swallow because of taste and texture. Is actually a thing that I think a significant number of men would ah view as maybe not a deal breaker but it's it's a negative. It's something that um could be a challenge in a relationship. Um, yeah I mean it's it's but but not wanting him to come on your body. On your face etc. That's I think a more common feeling and I'm not sure that I'm not sure that most guys would see that to be an issue. But not being not being willing to have it in your mouth like that's a little bit harder I mean there are men who say like they don't care at all Keith famously doesn't really like receiving blowjobs because he can't understand how a woman could enjoy penis semen in mouth which is totally makes sense except if you're aroused then things.
  • [47:12] Mike: Seem more compelling and let me tell you efuked dot com if you're not aroused at all is not compelling. Okay, next question or next post here. My my husband accidentally put it in the wrong hole. There's a great e fucked video for this by the way. Me and my husband were having great sex and missionary at the time he slipped out of my vagina and instead of looking just slammed it in a hole. Well this hole was my ass l o l I was not ready at all and it just hurt so bad I imagine this must hurt like the feeling when you're like constipated and you're just. Yeah, that thing I mean everybody's experienced this where you're just not sure you think this poop is too big like is is going to this is going to hurt a lot. Maybe Keith hasn't although I should say that Keith has started using Keith Keith famously famously I happen to know because I know too much about Keith that he um in the past. Had the habit of pooping many many times a day and he's been taking metimusil to change that I think it related to his marathon running. It's not it slows down your marathon time if you need a poop find a porta potty in the middle of the the run because then you have to stop the the marathon runners don't do like what horses do and just poop. On the run I assume I assume that's not a thing anyway. Um so other than Keith I mean people that have gotten constipated in their life like 1 time I tried a really really hardcore keto diet that was basically just meat.
  • [48:42] Mike: This friend who told me that like his life got a lot better when he started eating for breakfast steak with butter on it. So I tried it for a while and the main outcome I I don't know if I felt better I think he meant better psychologically there are people that think that gluten and stuff like that messes with your psychology Anyway, the main outcome was I I felt like. I Needed to use a spoon to get the poop out of my anus I was able to pass it but it wasn't a great experience and I imagine that's like that sort of pain feeling that I have experienced in my life is more or less what this woman experienced. She said she was not at all. Yeah, she screamed at the top of her lungs I don't think I would have done that but she shoved him off so fast. It hurt. So bad. She actually peed herself. She peed herself. She's crying on the floor. You know, Etc, etc has anybody had an experience similar to this Well I know other people have because I've seen the video and E fucked of a wrong hole. Um.
  • [49:38] Mike: 1 1 person says sorry about your butt I hope you're healing. Well, it's a common mistake. The holes are close to each other. Yeah I mean there was this guy on Reddit he used to complain all the time. It was a joke account of course but he would complain because um. He argued that women's bodies were incorrectly designed or whatever incorrectly evolved because the vaginal opening the anal opening were too close to each other um one one person says his wife's anus is like a steel trap. He slipped out and missed. But then he hit a brick wall. He's never been able to sort of get in there. Um, yeah I mean I imagine that women feel very vulnerable in that situation generally like when having sex like yeah I mean they're they're they're buttholes right? There? Um, but you know I don't actually think I've ever done this. It's tricky to know I've never I've never had a woman scream like that of course you know sometimes you're not totally sure I mean you pull out and then you're sort of trying to work your way back in and you're not totally sure what exactly you're interacting with there. Um, yeah I mean I think ah. Which which is an argument in favor of women generally keeping their anuses clean if they want to avoid stuff getting put up their vagina during sex. Um, at least 1 time I've seen a porn where a woman failed to do that and there was stuff Keith famously.
  • [51:10] Mike: Noped out of a relationship because of some stuff in that area. Okay, next question, Why do guys come faster when they jerk off, do they enjoy it more than having sex I Love watching my boyfriend jerking off and I've noticed that he comes faster than than when he has sex with me. So I Wonder why? I'm going to ask him anyway. But I like to. No other points of view. Okay I Want to say this this guy in this situation um has death grip almost certainly? Um, if you are very young and inexperienced with Vaginas. You are much more likely to sort of come quickly because they feel significantly different than your hand but also your amount of masturbation and frequency and so forth is going to affect this and it's simply because like look the vagina cannot grip you as tightly as your fist can like your fist is able to hold. Objects Even if a significant amount of force is being exerted to pull the object out of your fist like a woman's vagina can't do that like if there's a dildo and or whatever some object and woman's vagina and I have a hold of that object I'm always going to be able to pull it Out. Vagina is just not that strong. The various muscles. So. Ah, when men masturbate they often use a tighter grip thus leading to death grip and that's going to make it so that the woman's vagina takes longer to produce his orgasm and her mouth and her hand frankly because he's going to be better at it.
  • [52:39] Mike: 1 person says that a jackingoff is like playing a game with the cheat codes. It's easier, but it isn't better. That's true. Also I mean you obviously since you're feeling the sensations you can know what will feel better while you're doing it. I mean this is true for women too. It's one of the reasons why very frequently men will get the proverbial tap. Or whatever suggesting that the woman wants to handle her own business. Maybe while the man is engaging involved in some other way because this this same thing sort of go on where the man is not able to precisely target her clit um in the way that she wants or maybe give her. Internal massage. She's looking for. Um, here's another person saying he knows the right pressure tempo etc. Here's a person saying she loves watching her boyfriend jerk off. She's noticed that he comes faster because he's jerking it when he's jerking off and he actually lets himself. Come right? when he feels the urge. Okay, so that's an interesting point. Her boyfriend lets himself come when he's ciring off whereas when he's having sex p I v getting oral sex. He'll sort of hold off I think that's true too. It's very common for men to sort of hold off and it's is simply. Men being um, like the the max pleasure maximizing selfish I guess on some level they figure. Well you know their access to a female body to have sex with is limited and so they want to? um, they want to.
  • [54:14] Mike: Prolong the sensation as long as possible. This woman says when we have sex he starts mentioning the urge to come within a minute or 2 or even seconds if it's been a while but he wants the experience to last and he wants me to have as me to have as many orgasms as possible. Okay, well, that's up sure about that. But um. He delays his orgasm for as long as possible until he can't hold it anymore. Yeah, that makes sense. Ah I think a lot of guys is not till they can't hold it anymore. It's just they decide. Okay, it's been long enough I've passed the median. Sex duration of a relationship and I'm going if I'm going to come now men have a lot of control over that in most cases premature ejaculators aside here's another question can men differentiate between fake and real moans I'm a virgin but I Masturbate. And I'm very self-conscious of my moans. They're very high pitched and breathy I'm assuming this is a woman sometimes they get worried that men will think I'm faking Definitely a woman as they as they they have a tendency to sound that way though, not no fault of from no fault of my own of course this person immediately started getting private messages asking to hear her. Moans. That's not strange I'd like to hear our moans too. Um, this is a person a man saying he thinks he can tell the difference between real and fake Moans. It's more about body language I think it I think there's a spectrum here if a woman.
  • [55:43] Mike: Works at being a good actress of this just like for a fake orgasm. It can be difficult to tell Um I've seen I believe there are women out there that when they fought fake orgasms actually contract their Va vagina you know, rhythmically to try to trick the guy. Um.
  • [56:03] Mike: Moaning Ah sure I mean a common complaint about porn is that the moans are completely unrealistic, but you can Also you know a woman could be better at it and could sort of.
  • [56:18] Mike: Some idea of what she sounds like the kind of thing she does when she's actually enjoying a situation and um, try to make them resemble that and that's certainly something she could do It doesn't require that much acting ability I think men by the way often do some amount of acting. Um.
  • [56:37] Mike: Men are certainly capable of masturbating totally silently of course I think women are too in most cases but with a woman you know men will make some sounds. Ah, 1 thing I got off Tiktok recently I've seen this like 3 times actually and I mentioned it to Allie on the on the gondola. Going up to the ski slopes a few days ago. Ah it was. It's a post where people where women a woman says that women don't want dick pics they want ah comeshot videos with the sound on. Um I asked alie if that was. True and she seemed intrigued. Of course it's hard because a woman generally doesn't want this kind of content from a random man. She wants it from the man. She's interested in or in a relationship with so that was kind of a. Ah, not I was trying to cut with her and I think that like most women she she would be more interested with the content being produced by someone. She's interested in. Um, but anyway the ah the.
  • [57:52] Mike: Attraction to moans by women I think is a real thing. It's something that I've seen repeatedly on the chick flicks subreddit. Ah, in fact, there are videos that get posted. They do nothing for me but they're basically just women men masturbating and moaning a lot It's kind of irritating actually to me when those get posted because they're not. Not good content for a man. Um, there is by the way a subreddit that's like chick flick chick flicks 4 men or something like that and really go there very much because it's I want the real stuff I want the real real female moderated subreddit if I can get it. Okay, I'm going to do 1 more question here. Is it weird to come as a man while eating a girl out. Yes, it is. That's the answer but nearly every girl I give oral sex to I end up coming while pleaasuring her and I'm starting to get self-conscious about it I think if I'm laying down eating her out. Just her moans and movements send me over the edge and that combined with humping the bed a bit if she's riding my face and it's even worse as I find it so hot if she reaches down and strokes me I'm done in seconds and if she leaves me if she leaves me b I'm done as soon as she gets really into it. Always continue and usually up for round 2 pretty quickly but it happens nearly every time and I think I'm it's quite offputting for the woman. It's not off-putting for the woman I'm sure that's not right? Um, if he's up for round 2 quickly. That's fine look I mean okay.
  • [59:20] Mike: It could be okay, the first scenario where he's humping the mattress that could be offputting for the woman because then he's ejaculating into what might be her mattress or potentially the area of the mattress. She's going to have to sleep on so that's off putting in like kind of a different very realistic just practical way in the. Sort of more 69 situation where she's reaching down and presumably that's where she's facing away from the headboard which I know is Keith's is not Keith's preferred sit on my face position. He prefers the woman to face headboard to avoid nasal anal contact which I understand completely. Um. There I don't think she would care at all because she's getting the visual of him ejaculating his moans as we just discussed a minute ago. Ah, and um, yeah I mean that that I can't see how she would mind that. Um and if the woman is receiving oral sex. I think that him ejaculating in her mouth actually would be be more something. She'd be receptive to because she's receiving oral at the time therefore she's going to be less bothered by male excretions, etc. Of course the other problem I could see potentially with this. This guy's so turned on by giving oral to a woman that I don't think this would be an issue but he would potentially answer his post-nut clarity phase. Um, and so ah that you know could cause him to not enjoy giving oral.
  • [01:00:54] Mike: After his orgasm. Um I do think I mean there is some amount of porn you see online. That's basically women making fun of or kind of mocking men for orgasming too quickly orgasming when not being touched etc. But I don't think that's a real It's a thing that men who are into humiliation. Get into and it's a thing that women will sort of simulate for the benefit of those men but I don't actually think that's a real thing women generally like it when a man climaxes because of the pleasure she know he's she knows he's experiencing and she yeah women typically don't. Aren't bothered by that unless you know the semen goes in kind of an annoying place. Yeah, and also I mean oftentimes women are sensitive or worried about their own genitals and so having a guy be that aroused by them of course is going to be something that's exciting to the woman. So I don't think this is something that guy should worry about although like yeah I mean soiling the the mattress etc could get annoying. Okay, so that's it for episode 95 of your mileage may vary. We appreciated the positive feedback we got I would note that um, ah.
  • [01:02:12] Mike: Keith should be back next week and I do apologize for this episode coming up a day or 2 late we were having our ski vacation here and ah weren't able to meet the at and normal cadence and who knows maybe we'll get Allie to come back on soon as well. Um. So it isn't just secondhand or thirdhand stories and I'm telling you from from her but you can hear from her directly. So I hope you'll ah come listen next week and you can as always reach us on Gmail email via ymmvatgmail.com on Twitter at. Y Mmv Pod and yeah, we look forward to you listening next week