YMMV - Your Mileage May Vary Podcast

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Episode 99: My Gay Fiance, Holding Off Climax, Women Demanding Dominance, Porn Viewing Trends, Mystery Anal

Team YMMV | 1-5-2023 | 1:00:14

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We conduct a review of some of the latest trends in porn watching, according to PornHub. Here's the full report if you're interested in reviewing it: https://ymmv.me/99/trends

Keith wonders if it would be easier or harder for him to find high-quality partners if he were gay. There's general agreement that finding partners would become easier, but quality is the key metric there.

What do men really mean when they announce that they're close? Is it generally possible for them to hold off? And do women actually care, or are they just looking for the experience to last longer to have more intimacy (i.e. more foreplay)?

Two men have female partners who want more dominance. And another didn't realize he and his girlfriend were having anal sex until she told him. Is this consensual?

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/99/slow-down

https://ymmv.me/99/emasculated

https://ymmv.me/99/aggressive

https://ymmv.me/99/gay

https://ymmv.me/99/anal

Episode Transcript

Transcript automatically generated by a robot. Apologies for any inaccuracies.

[00:00] Keith: Hello and welcome to this ninety ninth episode of your mileage may vary. We talk about sex and relationships with frankness that is controversial but mostly in good faith Today. We're going to talk about just when is too soon to come do women prefer slow and sweet or hard and dominant how to recognize if your fiance is gay and more and Keith. My cohost is Mike Happy New Year mike do you have? Yeah, do you have any resolutions.
[00:20] Mike: Happy New York Keith I found a new version of chat Gpt that is not set up so that it won't accept x rated requests. It's on you.comy o you dot com you can click on the chat tab on the left and. Have some fun chat with it that the the normal one on the chat gpt dot openai I dot com or whatever basically won't be fun anymore it it rejects you every time you try to get it to tell you a dirty story. Yeah.
[00:52] Keith: Okay I don't know what this has to do with resolutions. But why I can't imagine it as access to the same training data set I.
[00:55] Mike: My resolution is to come up with a lot of stuff or yeah, yeah in my it's very similar. It's very similar. It just appears to not have the same rules.
[01:08] Keith: That can't be the case I mean the thing that makes the thing that makes chet G P T so good is that it's better than anything else. That's been trained in the past and.
[01:12] Mike: I Mean you dot Com is a search engine.
[01:19] Mike: This seems very equivalent and I think it's billed as sort of being a chat gpd clone or instance or something. So.
[01:27] Keith: Are have you read anything about the training for chat gbt it it needed like it needed something like you know ten days worth of a nuclear power plants worth of electricity to train.
[01:31] Mike: I Just know that it reads stuff.
[01:41] Mike: I Didn't read that but that's not so yeah I mean I can imagine it being.
[01:44] Keith: Like it like something it there I Just don't think there's anything else That's even remotely close to it and it seems impossible that some competitor could I mean a competitor could definitely you know not have the rules that Chet Chebt does but I I think there would be.
[01:50] Mike: Okay.
[02:02] Keith: I Don't know how but ah my guess is that there would be objective ways to to test. Its.
[02:06] Mike: It it could be just the same system and I do know that Microsoft just recently signed a deal where bing is going to have chat gbt content in it and so this could just be a similar kind of deal. Yeah azure. Yeah, um.
[02:11] Keith: Yeah, they did they trained it. They trained it using what is it a 0 What is that what the Microsoft cloud is called. Yeah yeah, all right anyway, this is probably kidding boring quickly.
[02:22] Mike: So I I got I got it to tell me? Ah what? if um I got it to I got it to tell me which celebrity it would most like to have um, lick the semen out of her vagina from a man. So if a man ejaculated in a woman's vagina and it was a celebrity. Who would it most want to have that woman be and then lick the semen out of it. Um, it was Angelina Jolie yeah start know so that's wrong. It was Rihanna. It was Rihanna followed by Angelina Jolie because I asked the top 4 Rihanna angelina jolie
[02:45] Keith: Ah, what was the answer.
[02:50] Keith: Yeah, that's not the right answer.
[03:00] Mike: Can't remember the third and the fourth was Taylor Swift so that was its ranking something like that. It also said that it would most like to have a semen placed on its breasts not in its vagina.
[03:11] Keith: Huh I think the correct answer to the first question is none although right, right? right? Yeah, but.
[03:17] Mike: Yeah, it's so it's supposed to be a woman so that it was I was told it to be a woman and so it's going to have sort of a semi lesbian MFF encounter but true I mean.
[03:28] Keith: Yeah, yeah, ah, that's kind of gross. You should resolve to be on time better to this podcast.
[03:36] Mike: Right? Yes, that's my resolution.
[03:39] Keith: For our media turb listeners Mike was late again after after promising he would not be I mean when when okay so let's say our time to meet was x when was this power outage.
[03:47] Mike: True. We had a power outage but.
[03:56] Mike: It was 30 minutes before x and it ended ended. Yeah I actually have texts proving that from the power company.
[04:00] Keith: Oh okay, that's that's res reasonably close in time. Yeah, it's been ah, it's been rating pretty hard in California here for the last few days and is going to continue for I don't know weeks they're saying yeah.
[04:15] Mike: Hopefully we need it I also have um the porn hub 2022 year in review which has um information some I mean some of it's boring. But you know for example, the United States by far is the largest country by traffic to pornhub. Um.
[04:32] Mike: They have time per visit which is all around what would you guess the average time per visit on Port of is.
[04:38] Keith: Um, ah 8 minutes okay yeah order of magnitude.
[04:43] Mike: It's 9 minutes 54 seconds so almost 10 minutes around what you thought I mean so yeah, it's basically a yeah guy beating off. Ah, but there's some more interesting stuff here. What do you think is the and think about this now. What do you think is the most viewed category. In the us and I can give you a list of categories if you want you want the list all right lesbian milf anal transgender reality ebony russian indian japanese yeah.
[05:00] Keith: Um, ah, okay, yeah.
[05:11] Keith: I Don't know. Japanese.
[05:19] Mike: It's Ebony Ebony number one in the Us. It's also number 1 in most of Africa but not all I hear you I hear you.
[05:25] Keith: Um, that cannot be I'm deeply skeptical of that result.
[05:33] Mike: I mean I'm not sure why they would lie. Okay, we can do it by state to um, ah relative searches by state maybe California what would you guess hard to guess I mean there's a lot of different search terms that could be there.
[05:46] Keith: Ah, yeah I I don't know how this I mean I I I questioned the the data from the start and so filtering it down by State look it just can't be that I mean that's famously, an area of porn that people are not interested in and.
[06:02] Mike: Um, Ebony I mean I think that's just you.
[06:03] Keith: Yeah, like African Americans complain fairly routinely that like it's hard to get work in the porn industry and that like they're they're treated you know like crap and I mean that that's the sort of meme around that and so finding out that it's the most in demand porn seems suspicious.
[06:12] Mike: I Hear you I hear you. But.
[06:20] Mike: Well I mean the the most the highest category which I mean there are other case. So maybe the other things are balkanized more but I mean let me just to so for the search terms California's number 1 is Asian ah, ah, Alaska's Alaska's is breast expansion which I'm me sure what that means.
[06:32] Keith: Um.
[06:37] Mike: But here you go but ah hang on this is what I want to catch you with ah I got to do my rat map reading skills here. Um Arkansas Louisiana Alabama Mississippi Georgia and Florida and North Carolina all are some variant of black bb w bbc or.
[06:42] Keith: Ah.
[06:56] Mike: Ah, Georgia was big ass. So that's not the same sorry I just took a letter b and so I I transmuted it and Washington DC is Bbc also so we have the entire south. It's sort of like in a presidential election here. The entire south is going black actually so I don't know how right you are.
[06:59] Keith: It's it correlates.
[07:11] Keith: Huh Okay, well that makes that lends a little bit more credibility to the data because I think the percentage of people who are black who live in the Southeast is higher and so it would make sense that that's more searched for there so that gives it a little bit more credibility.
[07:20] Mike: Right.
[07:29] Keith: Maybe maybe it's so much the case that they actually use Pornhub more and so it's you know some disproportionate number of the viewers are from the southeast.
[07:40] Mike: Maybe I'm not sure. Ah the number one in yeah I had no idea I don't know that's an interesting question that I have no, you're assuming you are assuming that.
[07:42] Keith: Do black people masturbate more often This this is such a delicate dangerous conversation.
[07:54] Mike: The people searching for this stuff have a certain ethnicity which is not something I would necessarily assume um I should say what do you think the number 1 search for thing in the country of China is people's republic of china not the republic of China which is Taiwan or chinese Taipei as Eric likes to call it. Ah.
[08:10] Keith: Ah I cannot believe that porn hub is not blocked in China which ah and it calls it to question this entire endeavor like I'm certain port hub is blocked in china they block Facebook and Google there's no way port hub is available.
[08:14] Mike: Okay, fine. Well anyway the number 1 thing that I hear you for.
[08:26] Mike: All right? Well the number 1 according to pornhub in China is is his japanese um, yeah, ah and from.
[08:29] Keith: Ah, oh man, Oh okay, so for our our yeah listeners who aren't fans of World War Two history that is a deeply ironic finding.
[08:43] Mike: It's yeah, it's kind of strange. maybe maybe japanese I actually am not going to comment further I'm not I just don't know in most of Europe and Canada it's the 2 kind of competing ones are anal and lesbian it's kind of interesting because these are kind of antonyms like you don't typically find them together.
[08:56] Keith: Yeah.
[08:58] Mike: And then the rest aren't that interesting now I have 1 other thing. Okay, they have it broken out by generation now you could say you don't know how would they know what age people are but I thought this was sort of interesting for baby boomers. Those are people over 55 what do you think the number one category is.
[09:05] Keith: Yeah.
[09:12] Keith: 15
[09:14] Mike: Jesus it's hand job I know those sort of interesting. Yeah yeah, hand job and then.
[09:18] Keith: Really are they imagine going to a massage Parlor or something and that's like a now. Not really.
[09:24] Mike: I know have you watched hand job porn. Yeah, it's some. It's not typically massage parlor. It's typically just a woman giving a hand job like it appears to be their partner. Yeah by the way Chachi Bt I asked it if it was a prostitute what its rates would be.
[09:35] Keith: Um, ah yeah.
[09:42] Mike: And it said hand job was only $50 an hour but anal. It knew what speaking Greek was it knew all the terminology that was two fifty an hour aprobo yeah I know it it was a little confused maybe for a hand job you would. Ah.
[09:50] Keith: An hour I don't need an hour baby. What's included in the hours does that include commute time.
[10:01] Mike: Let's see no I think it's the whole I think I yeah a hand job for an hour would be a little rough. Ah but I like the you baby boomers also have like mature vintage small tits pissing anal. Okay.
[10:05] Keith: I Mean yeah I would need some motion.
[10:13] Keith: Yeah, okay.
[10:16] Mike: Now what do you think number one for gen x which is 35 to 54 is
[10:20] Keith: Okay, so 55 it up was hand job now we're doing 35 to 54 I ah I can't even speculate I don't know child bearing age. Yeah.
[10:26] Mike: Okay, it's actually kind of beautiful. It's cream pie and I kind of like that because it's like so these people are of of childbearing age and they're like I like we want cream pies but the older people are like no no, no, forget it like my my semens. No good anyway. So we'll just do a hand job.
[10:38] Keith: Right? at and I'm I'm too old to want to do the the full thing just give me a hand job.
[10:44] Mike: Um, okay now gen y 25 to 34 number one is asian anime is not there. There's virtual reality tattooed women threesome and then for gen z the youngest it is threesome in virtual reality and then cosplay and cartoon.
[10:49] Keith: I was going to guess anime. Yeah.
[11:03] Keith: Ah I don't want to I don't want to all of that is ah juvenile and sort of I don't know.
[11:03] Mike: And Hentai which part did you uug about cart cosplay.
[11:13] Mike: You don't want to see like a ah ah ah porn of Captain Kirk and Mr Spock fucking all right? What is it.
[11:16] Keith: No no I don't think that's what cosplay is cosplay is normally I mean it's dressing up but it's usually women dressing up as women characters from animated.
[11:34] Mike: Ah, so like it wouldn't count as causeplay if my cause play was I was Oscar the grouch in his trash can and guys would just open the trash can they didn jerk off onto me and then close it again. That's not cosplay.
[11:35] Keith: Crap.
[11:42] Keith: That would I think that might technically be cosplay but it would probably not rig highly at the Pornhub algorithm.
[11:49] Mike: Think kind of I don't I would watch it I'd watch it for a few few hours at least to' be kind of like watching the house of representatives try to elect a speak or kind of the same they are have every time I'll say every time roughly to a third of the pictures of that that I've seen.
[11:57] Keith: There are they still going at that They must be.
[12:06] Keith: Yeah, yeah.
[12:09] Mike: Have Aoc in them every time. Um I see her and I'm like God Damn she's attractive I don't necessarily agree with her politically on you know I don't know I don't pay attention much to the things she says but she is quite ah, quite an attractive lady.
[12:12] Keith: Yeah, she is an attractive woman.
[12:23] Keith: Um, I do ah pay attention to the thing she says and I ah I think I would approve of her political leanings more than you but we don't have to double click on that. Um.
[12:24] Mike: Is she attractive that way too I don't actually know I maybe medium.
[12:34] Mike: And all right sure but her yeah her other leanings I'm impressed with each time. It's just surprising to see someone that attractive good for her good for her.
[12:42] Keith: She's engaged Mike she's engaged. She got engaged late last year um we talked about briefly at the end of our last show about whether.
[12:57] Mike: And.
[12:58] Keith: If I were gay if finding sex would be easier and do you remember that conversation.
[13:02] Mike: I Do I think but there was some mention of grinder and so forth.
[13:06] Keith: Yeah I mean I guess the real question is okay I would prefer to sleep with people who are attractive and let's say I'm an x and the people that I would like to sleep with are x plus 2 all right? So I'm a 7
[13:22] Mike: Out of like 10 Yeah, all right.
[13:25] Keith: And the people are nines. Okay, and ah the question is would it be easier to find female partners or male partners if I were gay and yeah I actually I don't know the answer to that.
[13:39] Mike: But but importantly, it's partner. Yeah, it's important that that it's it's partners that you actually would find compelling I mean I think it's clear that it would be men in general I mean if you go if you went on grinder you could find a partner that's male very quickly I think.
[13:57] Keith: Yes, if I were looking for a 5 So that's the same case. So now I'm looking for an x minus two I think it would be much easier as a man to find just ah, a random sex partner. But yeah, if if you're looking for high value men.
[13:59] Mike: But the question is right? Yeah yes.
[14:13] Keith: I'm not sure if it's easier than finding high value women.
[14:16] Mike: What what would the high value I mean it's maybe hard for you because you're having to pretend you're gay but what? Ah what would I mean is the high value man like the muscular kind of guy you imagine or I imagine in the um.
[14:23] Keith: Um.
[14:32] Mike: Ah, where they call those places. Ah you know the place where guys go and like it's like a locker room but they all have sex with each other. You know that place. Yeah, the bathhouse my bad. Yeah that is it like is it like the kind of bulky weightlifting guy in the bathhouse. It's like kind of horned up all the time or is it like ah the guy who.
[14:40] Keith: Bathhouse.
[14:45] Keith: Yeah.
[14:51] Mike: You know wears a business suit and makes a lot of money and has a rolex.
[14:53] Keith: Um I think I would like people who are my body type so sort of skinny and athletic.
[14:58] Mike: This is getting kind of specific. Okay so you the gay version of you wants someone that looks sort of like you all righty about your age to how about penis size what penis size. Do you fantasize about.
[15:04] Keith: Um, yeah.
[15:11] Keith: I Could just use a mirror a mirror here I don't have an opinion on that I Really like anal sex Penetrative Anal sex seems scary to me and so I might prefer small right.
[15:27] Mike: Well I mean I think you could just do oral like you don't have to do an anal sex right.
[15:32] Keith: But if I was giving somebody if I was going down on someone I think I would want them to be sort of small in that context too.
[15:39] Mike: I don't know is your goal to I don't I don't know because I will tell you that like sometimes porns where a girl is giving a blow to a guy I find it kind of compelling but she can only sort of operate on the tip in the first couple inches like that's kind of hot I mean I don't know deep throat is cool too. But like it it just depends like I could certainly imagine.
[15:51] Keith: Yeah. Yeah, is there some penis length that's required to satisfy a man when you're penetrating their asshole like do you need a certain penis length to like reach to the prostate or whatever is happening.
[15:58] Mike: That that being you know, compelling.
[16:07] Mike: Um, ah probably probably I mean I think they typically talk about with a finger at being the second Knuckle Ah so right, It's not very long and actually I mean there'll be some question of the angles you would get with the different penis length. But.
[16:16] Keith: I Mean that's not very long.
[16:23] Keith: Right.
[16:25] Mike: I mean I have to say I mean bending to the culture here. Gay men do seem to um, gay men do seem to prefer in many cases larger penises I will ah by the way this reminds me a little bit of this review that I don't think we read on the podcast that we got on Apple itunes podcasts called us shallow and unkind it said this is not a sex positive podcast and this is the important part that this is reminded me of more like a couple guys who are sex addicted and like to talk about how great they are. It goes on and on. Yeah.
[16:46] Keith: Ah, ah, ah.
[16:55] Keith: Ah, oh that's not terribly inaccurate.
[16:59] Mike: It got one star so that was some of our hate mail. But this reminds me of that a little bit's basically like if I were gay who would I I'm so awesome. Who would what I fuck. Ah yeah I mean I think that I think that ah I think I think a larger penis is generally better because it's like more masculine.
[17:09] Keith: Yeah, of.
[17:18] Mike: I mean think about it at the limit when you get small enough. It turns into a clit right? So yeah.
[17:21] Keith: Yeah, but there's a big gap between you know the length of a clit and a reasonably sized penis.
[17:29] Mike: I know you've seen China right? The professional wrestler who took new nude videos. Yeah, so you can get pretty big and surprise if you search on pornhub for I mean none of the age groups seem to favor this one. But if you search for enlarged clitoris or large client. You can find some surprisingly.
[17:34] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, it can.
[17:47] Mike: Ah, big meat in there. Um.
[17:47] Keith: Our podcast is going to make that the number 1 thing searched for in 2023
[17:53] Mike: We could definitely make it in the title I will say this when I've done that search and I've done that search several times in my life probably more than thirty. Um I just I just come up with ah fancies I Fancy different things and I want to check it out. That's why I like having chat Gp write stories for me, but the thing that's in pur interesting when you have a really big clid.
[17:56] Keith: Why.
[18:08] Keith: Um, yeah.
[18:11] Mike: Thing you notice is that there's no hole for the pee like that's what jumps out at you is. It's basically a penis missing the the metus the whole and that's just the thing that always jumps out at me.
[18:20] Keith: Um, yeah I mean you got the what do get. We're going to go back into anatomy here. Okay so beneath the Clitoris is the normal P opening for a woman is that called the eure eurethra is that the right word.
[18:30] Mike: Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be kind of.
[18:36] Keith: But is the opening called but that's what the whole tube is called right? The opening doesn't have a name the orifice. Ok ok, all right, Let's let's move on.
[18:39] Mike: Eurethra. There's also something. Yeah, there is another word. That's called the your reader and I think that's the tube. But I'm but I could have them backward Sadly to check with our doc doctor listener is is yeah.
[18:56] Keith: I had 1 more sort of like I don't know housekeeping thing you responded to an instant message of mine yesterday with an emoji I've ah okay, it was the it was the heart emoji I couldn't believe it.
[18:57] Mike: Um, yeah, it was an accident I wanted to give you a thumbs up. So I I know I know I was going for the thumbs up and I missed the? Ah so I've learned I've learned that. Ah. Responding the the standard way to end a conversation via texting now is responding with an emoji I've learned that and so I was trying to yeah I was trying to do that. But I I missed and I did the heart and then I just sort of laughed but I don't know what I was responding to with the heart was it just like the scheduling for today? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and yeah I just thought and then I just thought it was funny.
[19:22] Keith: Um, yes, it's like over and out.
[19:28] Keith: It was like what tie we were going to meet. It's up again I'd never even seen you use the the thumbs up before though like it. It was both the use of the emoji.
[19:36] Mike: And I decided I didn't care.
[19:44] Keith: And then I figured I actually figured that you may have missed the thumbs up like the heart was just so unlike you that it had to be ironic or an accident. Yeah, you can change it. That's a exercise for you after this podcast.
[19:47] Mike: That's exactly what it was. Yeah I don't is it possible to delete it I don't don't remove it or all right? Yeah I could change it to ha Ha or whatever.
[20:03] Keith: All right? Let's get into some of these Reddit topics. Um, this one is about ah a man possibly coming too soon. She says if a guy says he's about to come is it reasonable slash feasible to ask him to not question for guys. I'm a girl and when we're fucking men will often be like I'm about to come just as I think it's getting good and we're getting a nice rhythm. Is it okay to ask him to I don't know hold off for a bit or biologically speaking would that be painful impossible to do when a dude tells me he's coming I always want to reply with no not yet. But then don't want to ruin his moment mid-orgasm by making him feel embarrassed or whatever. So I just agree and let him come when I'd rather he just held it for a bit.
[20:45] Mike: Well I think that in most cases when the guy by the time. The guy says that he can't actually there's there. It would be. It's involuntary at that point. So I mean it's almost like a comedy sketch at that point if she says no, don't she's It's just gonna happen anyway and then he's going to feel bad.
[21:03] Keith: You've never said it as a sort of asking for permission I think some people may do that.
[21:08] Mike: Well, that's a good question. Um, when you say asking for permission. Could you give more context you mean like if it's going into her mouth like where's it going.
[21:16] Keith: Oh right? Yeah announcing yeah we remember we had like a 4 episode arc where we were discussing announcing when you were going to come.
[21:25] Mike: Well I have this issue with women announcing although I have seen I have seen videos of women announcing where it was kind of plausible like for example. It's just hard to say but like for example, when it's a lesbian scene and so and it does you know they're not super Attractive. So It's believable and also you can so sometimes they're filmed in such a way you can see their their vagina pulsing and so Forth. So It's more believable but generally when a woman announces I'm kind of skeptical of that but men doing it I think is typically.
[21:50] Keith: Right.
[21:55] Mike: Okay I think what you're going to say is that the man might announce in a questioning way during P I V when there may be no protection is that what where we're going here. Well.
[22:03] Keith: Well I think there's a lot of reasons to announce I mean if somebody's going down on you. It's just polite, especially if it's one of the first times they had you don't know what their preferences are some people probably like being assaulted by the by the man's seaman but some people probably want a heads up. And so right and then um with p I v it could be I mean it could be polite to announce. Especially if you you still have the ability to like pull the cord and not come to find out you know, maybe there.
[22:22] Mike: That's that's in their mouth that's in their mouth. Yeah.
[22:42] Keith: Relatively close I mean there's sort of an elaborate dance there right? like in an early sexual encounter. You don't know sort of what their playbook for coming is and it especially like I mean take this woman who asks this question right here I mean she says you know oftentimes they come when she would.
[22:42] Mike: How well.
[23:01] Keith: Like them not to and so if you you could say yeah I mean it in a way. It's almost like a check-in. Ah I think I might be about to come. You can say and then that sort of invites her to to give feedback Although to her point what is she supposed to say no.
[23:18] Mike: Well I mean so yes, it's tricky because I think my my view on this little of ortogonal for them oral context Sure I mean I think that makes sense like typically I mean you want to provide that that information for basic.
[23:20] Keith: Like is there a better way to check in I guess is ah, is it reasonable question here.
[23:37] Mike: Politeness reasons in the Pi V situation I think I'm unusual in that and no at no time in my life was I confused about women having lots of orgasms from Pi V like it's just not like that's not so I so I don't think I ever in my entire life thought oh if I keep.
[23:38] Keith: Um, yeah.
[23:53] Keith: Just hold on for right? Okay I mean that situation it that situation is possible. It's unusual like what is it like 30% of women come from PIV or is it less you suspect. It's less.
[23:56] Mike: Thrusting for another 5 minutes using a climb right? I mean I mean even I have been with partners. Yeah.
[24:07] Mike: That's the claim but I would that's there are yeah they're claimed numbers that are in the 20 to 30 range and that would be from say Kinsey but um I think it's complicated because by the fact, it's it's complicated by. First off the question of like what percentage of women who say who report orgasms are even having an orgasm. So I think that like and and a large percentage of those are going to fall into the piv I suspect. It's like 5 % or less. But regardless, um, the um, but but I mean but but a more constructive example would be a woman.
[24:25] Keith: So right, right? right.
[24:32] Keith: Yeah, okay.
[24:42] Mike: Touching herself during p iv then I then I put it at like 95% like it's that that I know I have no problem believing that like it's that's very common but but I just think there's often extra stimulation required and at some point there. So ah there I could imagine her caring but in my experience like I just don't look I mean.
[24:45] Keith: Um, right? Okay, right.
[25:01] Mike: Yeah I mean I guess it feels better for the woman and if there's something in there. So maybe she wants to finish while you're there but it can also be enjoyable for them to finish afterward, but it has that separate sort of postnut clarity issue that we've discussed so.
[25:13] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[25:16] Mike: I Just think that women are relatively indifferent about that and so this notion that like oh I'm going to hold off for you. Okay I know there's this Yes I'm I'm rejecting the notion I'm rejecting the basic notion that women care. Okay women don't like it if a guy finishes too fast.
[25:21] Keith: Are you rejecting the premise of like checking in like because it doesn't matter.
[25:35] Mike: But the reason they don't like it is not because they wanted him thrusting into her longer. It's because the vast majority of men when they finish. That's the end of the encounter and so if the guy only lasts 7 minutes while the typical woman digs 15 to 20 minutes to reach climax. Well, there's a problem there. Um.
[25:41] Keith: Right.
[25:50] Keith: Um, right.
[25:51] Mike: But if he was willing to continue the encounter after those seven months I think most women the vast majority women would be sort of okay with that. Um, and that's the problem and so yeah, so the problem with the premise is this notion that like she cares.
[26:04] Mike: She would like want to prolong? Yes, so what this person's asking. It's like yeah I can see that she wants intimacy to last longer but I don't think it's because his thrusting is so otherworldly for her I think it's more like she likes the intimacy the closeness and so she maybe she would just like him to change you know, change activities for a little while and not Jack Hammer constantly that would be my sort of imagination of what's likely going on.
[26:10] Keith: Um, yeah.
[26:22] Keith: Um, yeah.
[26:23] Mike: Between them is he's just he's just he's just pressing toward orgasm like way too. He's got the pedal to the metal. Yeah.
[26:29] Keith: Do you think there is a situation in which a woman can say no please don't without it causing townstream injuries.
[26:43] Mike: Well yeah I mean ah if I mean you see that and what is the ah the porns where you know oh I'm not on birth control. You know. So then it's so then it's it's well it's hot one way or the other like does the guy have to pull out or does the guy like.
[26:52] Keith: Ah.
[26:57] Mike: Impregnate her by accident or some of the porns. He doesn't want to come in her and she grabs him with her legs around his butt and he can't be Wow which is also that's totally unbelievable by the way. Ah.
[27:02] Keith: Yeah, yeah I mean you've seen. Yeah lots of porn plays around with that dynamic. But.
[27:13] Mike: Yes, I'm confident I could always pull out when I'm on top if she's on top might be take longer. It might take too long I don't know but regardless ah yes I think that if there's a birth control Pregnancy issue. But. Other than that I mean yeah, we'll be the other circumstance. She just wants it to last longer I mean I yeah.
[27:30] Keith: I Think some men say that they're about to come not because they're not able to stop themselves but because they're saying it as a trial balloon they're asking permission to come. They're checking in.
[27:41] Mike: For what But what does that mean.
[27:47] Keith: To see if she's close.
[27:48] Mike: Oh no I understand that and I'm saying that's like the guys are making a mistake when they do that. That's not a thing.
[27:53] Keith: But it but it's like this woman wrote this question and asked at her specific ask is I don't want him to come Yet. So I understand that you're rejecting the premise generally but she's specifically is conceding the premise like she's. The premise is she doesn't actually want him to come yet. She does care and she's trying to figure out a way to tell him that.
[28:12] Mike: She wants. Yeah, so what she should? Okay, so so the way I interpret that is she wants the intimacy to last longer generally not that she's like 20 seconds away from orgasming and if he just kept pumping then she would. It's possible that it's the latter. But I think it's much more likely that it's the former and that the right way to handle that is for her to simply.
[28:22] Keith: Um, yeah.
[28:31] Mike: Suggest at some other time that like they could do more forplay or like switch it up more. That's what that's what needs to happen here right? like he's not ah.
[28:36] Keith: Yeah I mean she specifically says men will often be like I'm about to come just as I think it's getting good and we're getting a nice rhythm like this strongly implies. The thing that she thinks she wants and ah you know.
[28:44] Mike: Sure.
[28:51] Keith: Notwithstanding all the things you've just said which I understand but it seems that she thinks she wants more penetration. Ah.
[28:53] Mike: And.
[29:00] Mike: I'm sure I mean it's not that yeah, that's true. But I think the like I think generally um, okay, generally if you have an encounter with a woman that lasts say 1000 strokes in the woman's like I'd like a longer encounter I think if given the multiple choice quiz of. Do you want 3000 strokes
[29:10] Keith: Um, yep.
[29:18] Mike: Or do you want oral for you know those other two thousand strokes versus I think we would pick that option not 3000 strokes maybe some women would pick the 3000 strokes but I don't think that would be the most common remotely the most common choice that's all I'm saying so like yes I know she's saying that. But I think that what she actually wants is him just to pay more attention to her and to last.
[29:21] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah.
[29:38] Mike: Ah, to have the encounter last longer in a way that's pleasurable for her and the most pleasurable thing for women is definitely oral performed on them.
[29:47] Keith: Yeah, that is not controversial all right. We're not making any interesting forward progress or let's move on all right? This is a there's I have a I have 2 posts here I want to read and they are ah sort of in opposition to each other and one of them.
[30:05] Keith: Talks about a man who wants to have slow sex and the other one is um, well let me just read him. Okay, this is the first one is I a 27 year old male feel emasculated due to my sexual preferences hi everyone I'm a longtime lurker on their sub but this is my first post. 27 year old straight male who primarily prefers slow central romantic sex as opposed to fast rough and hard sex I'm also not as dominant in the bedroom as some women seem to want I am not comfortable choking a woman or slapping her in the face. The most I will do is spanking because I feel I could do that without hurting her inflicting pain on my partner is not a turn on for me. Problem is that most women I am with seem to want me to be super dominant and be rough with them including things like choking and slapping I feel emasculated by my own sexual preferences almost like I'm less of a man because I enjoy making love instead of us just fucking I even had 1 girl tell me if I wanted someone to be gentle with me in bed that I would be dating other women. Does it feel good to hear but I tried not to show that it bothered me I talked with other guys I know and they all seem to prefer rough sex with their girlfriends and laughed when I said I prefer more gentle and romantic sex. Is there something wrong with me I'm really questioning my masculinity and self-worth right now. All right? So that's exhibit a are you ready for exhibit b all right? This one's a little bit shorter.
[31:19] Mike: Sure.
[31:23] Keith: Um, my sexual partners stop being aggressive and get more gentle with time. How do I fix this my current sexual partner started with slapping me around and spanking the shit out of me in a lot of dirty talk which I specifically asked for so I was really turned on by that. But now he dot dot dot makes love to me. There's no other word for it.
[31:42] Keith: Loves to do it missionary while gently cradling my face or Bur burying his face into my neck or tits and if I try to switch it up and ask for dogie during sex I hear Nope I Love seeing your face which is all fine and Dandy Sometimes I love that shit, but he won't even try to choke me anymore and this has been a consistent pattern with all the men I have slept with. They just get more soft the longer they know me. And stop treating me like a dirty whore and to be honest, sometimes a girl just wants to feel like a slut. How do I fix it I Want to be slapped around again. But I don't think as hard as in it.
[32:11] Mike: Yeah, ah, the first one I have a reaction which is I have a friend who is a very he's not. He's very like soft spoken and ah would be like the guy the category one person here the first.
[32:24] Keith: Um.
[32:27] Keith: You are you assuming based on his soft-spokenness or do you have okay all right, got it. Got it got it.
[32:28] Mike: Post I know I know him I've talked to him you know and like anyway. so so yeah so in what he's told me so he started balding at like age like 21 and he chose to shave his head but he has a beard like a good full.
[32:40] Keith: Brittle.
[32:44] Mike: Petered and mustache and so he looks like a biker and he's like six foot 2 or something six one right and he's not like that at all and he's told me that when he would go to bars and meet women and so forth that he would ah very often basically meet women that that expected him to be a biker dude and it was sort of.
[32:45] Keith: Ah, right? So women assume a certain. Yeah.
[33:02] Keith: Um, yeah.
[33:02] Mike: Complicated for him so I could imagine this first guy getting into that category where it's like he's his yeah the way he maybe he's like a bodybuilder and the way he looks just doesn't match his personality I'm not sure what I'm not sure if that's helpful, but it's a thing that's a thing that I know happens.
[33:16] Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah I mean I don't have a good feeling for ah what percentage of women prefer a more dominant man versus um, a more a less dominant man I think. Popular culture is making women explore a little bit more than they used to and so it could be that you know if you're dating ah Coastal Elite women in their thirty s that you'll run into a lot of them who want you know a more assertive and dominant man.
[33:40] Mike: Ah.
[33:52] Keith: But you know if you're dating people from religious communities in their in their twenty s that you would. You would see another thing but generally I don't really know what you know percentage of women prefer one versus the other.
[34:02] Mike: What percentage of the women you have had sex with in the last like say 5 years have asked to be slapped in the face because well the the person made a point of saying that she she didn't appreciate the slaps on the butt she wanted it on the face.
[34:10] Keith: In the face.
[34:20] Mike: And and choking. But ah yeah.
[34:20] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, ah a few a few non zero. Yeah, not enthusiastically.
[34:28] Mike: I'm oh non nonzero and so and so I'm so'm Curious. What is how does that I mean do you comply or okay, so do you do you? We I'm curious First. Ah. When you do not enthusiastically comply. Do you slap them with the palm of your hand or the back of your hand, you never bitch slap them so that might be a way to the back of the hand might be a way to not up the violence but to up like the so psychological dimension right.
[34:45] Keith: Um, ah the palm. No I feel like.
[34:55] Keith: Up up the insult. Yeah yeah, that's actually a really really good call I will I'm going to file that away in case I need it in the future might my fast slap will will seem full last because ah.
[34:58] Mike: Exactly yeah.
[35:03] Mike: There you go. So I'm sure so you ah like how do, but how does the so does she ask for it in in the moment or is it like when in a non-sexual time. She's like hey I really want.
[35:11] Keith: Of of the of the backend.
[35:19] Mike: Some slabs. Okay, and what does she say typically.
[35:20] Keith: Ah, it's in the moment I had 1 partner talk to me extensively about wanting me to be ah, substantially more dominant and I'd nope doubt of the relationship I don't want to.
[35:36] Keith: Beat the crap out of the person I'm sleeping with.
[35:36] Mike: Because got it. It also suggests possibly some ah unusual and elements in that person's personality. Maybe.
[35:43] Keith: Yeah I mean if that was the only issue then maybe I would have I I don't know maybe probably not but maybe but there were other issues. So if it's a.
[35:51] Mike: So she sort of gave you a tirade or like a long speech about all the different ways in which she wanted you to assert your masculinity on her.
[35:59] Keith: Um, she was. It wasn't a tirade. It was actually a fairly well articulated like bullet list of of things she wanted to try I think that she probably has to do this often and so you know she's gotten good at delivering her spiel.
[36:05] Mike: Like can you like.
[36:14] Mike: I mean I think we're all kind of curious. What was on the bullet list.
[36:16] Keith: Ah.
[36:22] Keith: Ah, so I mean she wanted. She was clear that she wanted physical marks from this lapping um and they but I don't know if it was the physical marks that she wanted. But.
[36:23] Mike: What were the highlights.
[36:31] Mike: So okay, like bruises.
[36:40] Keith: It was like those are the goalposts. You should be aiming to leave a mark because there was discussion about the amount of power I should be using on our face. Yeah.
[36:42] Mike: Jesus.
[36:49] Mike: On her on and what part of her body. What I mean does she have a job. Ah, this sounds like some sort of weird entrapment to some kind of police action. This doesn't sound right? Okay, any other any other requests. Besides.
[36:58] Keith: I Brought that up.
[37:04] Keith: It does we We had a friend who who who worried about that once right with a hookup. Yeah yeah, and then there were various bondage requests. My bedroom isn't really set up to do bondage I have ah my my bed has a.
[37:06] Mike: Yeah, yeah, that's true. Did she want like a you to tire up like kick huh I mean on some level. It just gets complicated.
[37:21] Keith: You can actually see it. We're we're looking we use video. We don't post the video. But yeah, you can see my my headboard doesn't really have anything that you could mount stuff to.
[37:22] Mike: Yeah.
[37:30] Mike: It's something that I've I've gnashed my teeth many times about your lack of fixation posts on your headboard because I my fantasies.
[37:35] Keith: I Had a friend in college I had a friend in college who was dating this girl who was very wild and she made him mount like a chin up bar above his bed so that she could use it for I don't even know what she was using it for I think she could. Hang from it somehow. Yeah.
[37:54] Mike: Wow, that's interesting I saw a a porn today that I found particularly compelling which was a they were in a car and the woman was on top.
[38:11] Keith: Um.
[38:11] Mike: And in a car. It's like that I mean you have she She was fairly flexible and athletic and so she could use her legs on various and then you know the the seats on either side he was in the driver's seat I guess and then there was maybe maybe they were maybe they were but there was like more there were the point is there were a lot of kind of fixation points for.
[38:22] Keith: Yeah, they weren't in the backseat back backseat is yeah Okay, yeah.
[38:31] Mike: Body parts right? and and what I thought what I found particularly compelling about this porn was that like it was like she had an external genital. not not I thought I was thinking about that today as I was walking somewhere like is that am I gay now I don't think so but it was like it was like she was able to. Control the positioning her body so much that she could really thrust down and kind of toward him in a way that was very compelling if if you can imagine that? Yeah yeah, ultimately I mean yeah, she took took the nut ultimately and then she took her shirt off and wiped her vagina with her own shirt.
[38:52] Keith: I See she was more the giver than the receiver.
[39:08] Mike: Which was kind of gross right? and then she was yes she was just topless I mean it was a porn I think her plan was to the director would say cut and then you know, etc. That's right.
[39:08] Keith: Ah, what was she going to wear after yeah, but I mean what was her plan.
[39:17] Keith: Oh I see that right? sorry this was it. It does it have story continuity. What is she going to wear after that bike.
[39:27] Mike: Yeah, but it was yeah it was It was compelling how how she was able to to use it like that and and she she got herself into a position where her crotch like the vulva was very kind of almost sort of external kind of. And don't know it. It was very impressive her positioning I mean she must be like a gymnast or something she got very aerobic thing anyway that but maybe that's the kind of thing the pull up bar lady was accomplishing I hope right? but you don't You're unwilling Now. There are ah systems you can buy that are.
[39:53] Keith: Um, yeah, could be she she needed handholds to perform her various tricks and stunts I'm not sure.
[40:02] Mike: Like a set of harnesses that go under the bed that you can you can then attach you and you know about that. But you're not interested in that. So what is the longest. What is the longest time you've been in a relationship with someone where you needed to slap her in the face.
[40:04] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah I don't know if I'm interested or not I bet.
[40:19] Keith: Needed isn't the right word choice.
[40:21] Mike: Where you did so let's say what is the longest time between the first slap and the last slap in the face for the same moment that you've had in bed. Okay, okay, so for you, it's kind of and a negative.
[40:31] Keith: It's going to be on the order of weeks I think yeah I think it is. It's tricky because I would be I'm conceptually interested in exploring Kink. Ah, as a general category. Ah, but as you pointed out oftentimes the people who are most interested in Kink have are for reasons that aren't so great. Maybe they've experienced some trauma in their life. Some people are just you know, Responsible. Ah. Well- adjusted adults who haven't you know had issues. But there's some sort of amount of childhood or young adulthood trauma that correlates pretty highly with being kink curious and so.
[41:19] Mike: Right? Yeah, the the yeah like.
[41:23] Keith: Yes, so I often run into this issue where it's like look I'm I'm interested in it conceptually but I want it to be kind of I don't want to like unpack all this stuff. Um or or at least I don't want to connect our sex with unpacking all that stuff like I I don't mind dating people that you know don't have flawless pasts. But.
[41:42] Mike: Sure I actually do would have a problem dating some with of without a flawless past. So I have to say that but the ah me I think that the um to me the the delta there is between a woman who is attracted to sort of the.
[41:43] Keith: I Don't want it to leak into the bedroom.
[41:51] Keith: Um, yeah.
[41:59] Mike: Competent side of masculinity where the guy knows what he Wants. He's able to you know she's directing the Action. He's very Masculine. He's very in control on the one side versus this is just tipping over into like it's actually he's now I you could imagine the guy being in control but look it's hard to be in control when you're slapping someone in the face. That's not a. It's a little. That's typically the actions of an enraged person who's lost control right? So It's so then it's tipping over into something else. But I can understand the desire for like a dominance like in my life. Ah I Um I enjoy being around competence like if you go to the doctor or the dentist and they're like doing these things that they know very well how to do That's like.
[42:20] Keith: Right.
[42:38] Mike: Yeah I can I can sort of I can sort of get this like emotion of like I feel safe or something and so I can imagine the feeling women get from that with ah with a man that's being dominant. But yeah, this other level is sort of hard to it does seem like it's likely attached to something kind of negative but I don't know maybe maybe maybe not maybe there are women who just get into that.
[42:39] Keith: Um, yeah.
[42:40] Keith: Um, sure.
[42:50] Keith: Um, yeah.
[42:56] Mike: That's.
[42:57] Keith: I think especially as women age they get a little bit more explorative with their sexual proclivities and that can be really interesting and great. Ah, this guy who wants to be having I think people would call this vanilla sex. Ah.
[43:11] Mike: Um, yeah.
[43:14] Keith: And that that's sort of his preference if he could call it. He should probably stop calling it making love? Um, but it's fine, but especially if you have a partner who wants you to be a lot more dominant I wouldn't lead with the well I Just like love making baby I think that's not helping him.
[43:17] Mike: You don't like that turn.
[43:32] Mike: Right.
[43:34] Keith: But yeah I don't know what he should what he should do and you know one of the issues with getting kink curious is that you might discover that there are a series of things that really amp up your sexual satisfaction in various with encounters that. You know, do various things that some people are uncomfortable with and once you've opened up that box you might create a situation where like yeah like you could be dating this lovely 27 year old man who's you know, fairly in touch with his feelings and able to articulate what he wants but he's just not interesting to you because you need to be punched while you're. Ah, having sex and like that's not great right? Like if if you get to a place where like you know, only 8 % of men are even able to satisfy you sexually that sucks.
[44:22] Mike: Yeah, but I can understand it I mean the ah sex is reliably is more reliably physically stimulating for men than it is for women and so maybe that kind of stuff makes them get to the kind of the same plateau that men are at.
[44:33] Keith: But well maybe it closes that gap. Yeah, like maybe women can get more reliable satisfaction if they're demeaned some women. Yeah yeah, all right? Let's find out if this person's fiancee.
[44:38] Mike: Yeah, yes, if you're into it. Yeah, so you're getting you're getting more out of it. Yeah.
[44:52] Keith: Could be gay the post is loading here all right? Let's go so panic is setting in as we're getting married soon. We've been together for 9 years I found gay I've found gayport out has voted the past but I've never addressed it if it's simply browsing I didn't want to create shame around curiosity and sexuality.
[44:52] Mike: Yes.
[44:59] Mike: Ah.
[45:10] Keith: However, his porn history is now only gay horn. We've never discussed this and the concerning part is that our sex life is very lacking. He never initiates and is very withdrawn from intimacy. There was a slow decline in our sex life over the last two years has been nowhere near where I would hope we would be should I discuss this with him and if so how.
[45:13] Mike: Um.
[45:23] Mike: Okay.
[45:28] Keith: I don't want to attack him or create a shameful environment I have no idea what to do? Okay, this guy's obviously gay how do you go 9 years I guess you just like gaslight yourself into thinking this is normal or maybe he gaslit her. She said they've been together for 9 years
[45:31] Mike: Yes.
[45:39] Mike: What do you mean by? go nine years I mean he's getting the most best of both worlds right? I mean he's getting to have ah what appears to be a vanilla relationship. He doesn't I mean there's still a significant amount of kind of negativity and shame in various quarters of. World and our country around being gay and so he he can avoid you know having to deal with that and maybe come out of the closet and at the same time I'm sure the guys on grindder just just yeah, like banging it out So he's Getting. He's getting everything he wants I mean he you know on the other hand he may want a real relationship. He is.
[46:09] Keith: Well he might we don't know if he's cheating on her or not.
[46:15] Mike: I mean come on. It's just too. It's too accessible I mean I mean like I'll be yeah if I were gay as a man a married man I would definitely be on grinder like getting my dick sucked for sure because it's just so accessible I mean it's like it's like the thing I mean if you um, it really doesn't matter for most men.
[46:23] Keith: Um, yeah.
[46:34] Mike: Maybe the vast majority of men. It really doesn't matter how committed you are to your relationship if a sufficiently attractive say like 22 24 year old woman is just like clearly wants to suck your cock like for you know and and you believe that she wants to just for fun. It's not for money and so on and so forth like the truth is god it would be hard to say no to that and and and grindr is basically that but just.
[46:40] Keith: Um, yeah.
[46:47] Keith: Ah, yeah.
[46:53] Mike: There's an app for it So be hard hard to avoid that. Um, the ah ah yeah I mean now in terms of his porn his specific porn habits. Um as you I think know I I ah browse porn without incognito I do not use incognito.
[47:10] Keith: Yes, yeah.
[47:12] Mike: Which does mean that Google has an entire history going back to when they first I assume introduced Chrome the Chrome browser I hope I hope they have all of it. Maybe I can have all of my porn urls put on my tombstone. It'd be ah, they have to do it in like micro. Yeah, very very small.
[47:24] Keith: Yeah, a lot long timestone tubestone.
[47:32] Mike: Ah, writing. But yeah, there's some analytics that could be done but I mean all I can say about that is okay, the fact that it's 100% gay horn makes me wonder how she's seeing this but that's concerning like but my history is really weird. So.
[47:44] Keith: Yeah I mean I think anyone who's listened to this show for more than 45 seconds I can imagine the horrors and atrocities that your brow history contains. Yeah I mean you really are an intellectual and curious about.
[47:53] Mike: I Look at everything man. Yeah.
[48:03] Keith: Basically everything as it relates to to nudity and porn.
[48:06] Mike: It's true that it's true that ah for beating off, it's much much narrower. Unfortunately I wish I wish that like you know I'm I'm avid consumer of and Nsf W 4 1 1
[48:15] Keith: Um, yeah.
[48:16] Mike: Seeing what people are looking for and I like to see the new things. But honestly the vast like 95% of it I can't beat off to. It's not that it's it's more just like huh people do that too. It's like rule 34 but this is clearly not that this is a guy who um is is gay.
[48:27] Keith: Um, right.
[48:32] Keith: Um, yeah.
[48:32] Mike: And yeah I mean if you're if you're using gay porn exclusively. It's just tricky because I mean that that means he's beating off to it and I it is I think for hetero guys. Not okay I think that both of us. Well for me I think I would rather beat off to nothing on my computer screen than gay porn I Assume it's the same for you.
[48:48] Keith: Um, yes, yeah.
[48:50] Mike: Yeah, it actually makes it worse like it takes my erection away which is unfortunate I Wish it didn't because it's very you know? Yeah, but it does.
[48:56] Keith: Yeah I mean it's possible look I don't know what it's like to be bisexual. Maybe it's possible that like you could be bisexual and still want to pursue women but all of your masturbation is done to gay porn I'm not sure.
[49:16] Mike: Um, yeah I mean well he might.
[49:17] Keith: For me things are things like things are so unimmodal in by preferences like I just prefer women and so imagining what it's like to be bisexual is a little bit tricky. Um.
[49:23] Mike: Um, right.
[49:29] Mike: Well imagine if you really wanted to have kids and you were in some alternate universe where to to have a family so you wanted to have a family but to have a family you had to be in a gay relationship like you could imagine kind of tolerating that and then using the the male the header version of grinder on the side just a fuck.
[49:39] Keith: Um, yeah, yeah, right.
[49:48] Mike: Chis I don't know what they would be doing probably just having a really good time. Not not dealing with families. Yeah, yeah, so it could be that going on but I still I do want to know how she's snooping through his porn history. But I assume she just takes his phone and like.
[49:51] Keith: Yeah I can imagine pretending to be something I'm not in order to have a family if I wanted a family. Yeah yeah, it could be all right? Let's move. Yeah I don't.
[50:07] Mike: But see the history. So.
[50:08] Keith: I Really don't understand like sharing your phone with your spouse seems like a bad idea generally because it just implies trust issues but sharing your phone when you know that you're surfing gay porn is.
[50:17] Mike: Yeah.
[50:25] Mike: Have you ever shared your Atm Pin code and I realize this is almost pass a now with a with a significant yeah with another have you done that you got to the level of sharing like some shit like that.
[50:25] Keith: Yeah I need more information here.
[50:32] Keith: It's a Seinfeld episode. Um I might have I definitely wouldn't want to but sometimes you know like the Seinfeld issue ah episode. There's an issue where it's useful like.
[50:45] Mike: Right.
[50:49] Keith: Yeah, they're running out to run an errand and you need cash and maybe they could go to the atm whether out for that Errand or something. Um.
[50:57] Mike: Yeah, it's tricky I mean I have all my passwords in a one of those sort of Password managers I don't use Lastpass because they started charging and then they got high but they they started charging. They get hacked but the um.
[51:02] Keith: Yeah, they got hacked they are was it last pass that get hacked or 1 pass I can't remember.
[51:10] Mike: The way their algorithm works getting hacked doesn't actually matter because the data they store is all encrypted but still. It's lame that they're you know, like people know that you used them. There's another one That's that's still free called bit Warden This is not ah, an ad but it's what I use but then I have the master password for that system and I have that in a.
[51:14] Keith: Yeah, right.
[51:27] Mike: Sealed envelope in like a locked filing cabinet for if I die.
[51:30] Keith: Yeah I've wondered about whether I should tell my sisters or brother in law or something my passwords in case I die.
[51:35] Mike: Yeah, where you could put in some some something like what I have just a basic back. You know like a you just lock it in your apartment. Yeah yeah, yeah.
[51:40] Keith: Well how does your wife. Okay, and then she knows where the key is okay, right? right? right? right? right? which is plenty incentive to not go into it.
[51:50] Mike: Mean she could go into it I just would know she went into it because I like it's it's in a sealed envelope mean she doesn't want to doesn't care but like it's a right.
[51:59] Keith: That is the correct posture I think in like a healthy adult relationship is that yeah, you're not going to share passwords because you don't care. Um like you you acknowledge there might be like a couple weird things but like if there's something that's like.
[52:06] Mike: Um, right, It's not interesting.
[52:15] Keith: You know if you're cheating or something you would you would know through other ways.
[52:16] Mike: Oh there's this insane amount of where I mean she can also just listen to the podcast. So.
[52:22] Keith: Right? right? All right? Let's move on. Ah this person says boyfriend didn't know we were doing anal me and my boyfriend were spooning and things got a little heated. We ended up doing anal for the second time and to my surprise it didn't hurt even without warmup which is usually very good with.
[52:26] Mike: Um, yes.
[52:37] Mike: Okay, true. Well maybe she means she means warm up for other sexual activities like he's good at he typically does foreplay and so forth. Yeah.
[52:39] Keith: Usually is an odd word choice because she says this the second time anyway, anyways, sure. Okay afterwards I made a comment to him about how I couldn't believe we just did anal and he said we just did anal. He said he thought he was in my pussy not my ass. We both laughed about it.
[52:56] Mike: Yeah.
[52:59] Keith: But I'm curious if anyone has ever experienced this? No I I have not had anal enough times to that I know of that for this to have happened and my experience with anal was that it.
[53:01] Mike: Have you experienced this.
[53:17] Keith: Feels different but I was thinking about this after I read this I am not actually sure like I know that like the initial penetration is a little trickier and I'm trying to remember if it feels different once you're in.
[53:33] Mike: Right? You're you're you're you're imagining like a blind taste test here I think like if if a guy were were put in a situation where the woman was right and she had her her legs spread in such a way that you actually couldn't tell he had he was blindfolded and something something.
[53:36] Keith: Right? Like ah.
[53:41] Keith: Um, yeah, it's an unknown orifice.
[53:49] Keith: Yeah yep, yep yep.
[53:52] Mike: Ah, could he or you know glory hole. Whatever what could he could he know and I think the answer is yes you could know. But um I don't think you? Yeah, you're right that the initial penetration would be the biggest tell I think but I think you would be able to tell generally well I mean I don't want to bum you out.
[54:01] Keith: Um, yeah.
[54:09] Keith: So to speak? yep.
[54:11] Mike: Which means I do ah but the number 1 way that I for sure would be able to tell would be sort of bottoming out in each one and like if I felt like a cervix that would matter or yes I'm kind of wheres the anus. You would not well if you felt a poop that would be for sure the anus. Yeah.
[54:18] Keith: Um, right right.
[54:26] Keith: Ah I Really I wish that annal sex didn't have that poop aspect to it. Yeah, there's a more designed for the task. Ah do you think a condom could.
[54:32] Mike: Well I mean thought. Fortunately, there's another orifice which is actually better set up for the activity. So yeah.
[54:45] Keith: Mitigate some of these or exacerbate some of these confusions. Yeah I did too.
[54:48] Mike: yes yes I think that could make it more confusing but but I think the other thing is when you're spooning when I saw this post I thought oh when you're spooning. Well first the first thing I thought of was the woman who I don't know two weeks ago or something we had where that was the ah.
[55:02] Mike: A very similar situation but she considered it rape or sexual assault because yeah, like the the fact pattern was significantly different but still like it was it was somewhat close to this ah here. Um, it's just a well this was too I mean he he.
[55:04] Keith: Yeah, that was last episode or maybe two two ago.
[55:15] Keith: Well, it was unconsented anal sex I Know that's what I'm saying that that's the similarity you right.
[55:21] Mike: He did get yeah right? It's similar like he did. Yeah he didn't even know it was her anus. So and she didn't yeah so I mean you know Anyway, there limited differences which is kind of interesting. This guy could absolutely be accused of sexual assault. Um I think and with some with some reason but ah.
[55:37] Keith: Yep I agree. Yeah we tap danced around that and on that episode.
[55:41] Mike: Yeah, with a condom yeah with with a condom and also on spooning position where you're unable to penetrate that deeply sure I mean yeah, like you know you you could have a significant amount of the ah stimulation just coming from like skin around the orifice because of the position and so yeah I think then it could be.
[55:54] Keith: Yeah.
[55:59] Mike: Confusing. It's a little confusing to me I don't think I ever had anal sex with somebody where like the lubrication issue wasn't kind of didn't kind of make things obvious what was going on. So.
[56:10] Keith: Right? I mean some women are so wet that and if you've been having vaginal sex for a while and like maybe they're in missionary. It can like drip down and like create enough lubrication or maybe you're using.
[56:21] Mike: Yeah.
[56:27] Keith: Maybe you were using Lube Anyways, like maybe they're maybe their Vagina Iss a bit dry and so you have lube out.
[56:31] Mike: Yeah, unfortunately I'm skeptical of of that scenario of the drip down and so forth scenario I think that unfortunately to the extent there was enough lubrication. It would either be like moisturize or she put on her body or something from inside her rectum that was kind of coming out like so he went in and then pulled something out.
[56:44] Keith: Right.
[56:51] Mike: As you know the the head of your penis is made to plunge out the content contents of an orifice and so you can plunge out all kinds of interesting things from an anus. Yeah, all right? That's kind of gross.
[56:52] Keith: Yes.
[56:59] Keith: Ah, can we can We not.
[57:06] Keith: Um, yeah, all right I think that's actually a good place to wrap. Do you have anything else. You want to litigate today. Oh.
[57:13] Mike: Oh we. We're only at 57 minutes here um then I don't know if I have anything else else to litigate the ah the let me see if there was anything else in the corn hub search terms nothing we covered everything. Good.
[57:29] Keith: We'll be okay, we've we've hit the 60 minute Mark like 70 episodes in a world I think people can all right? So that'll do it for episode 99 of your mileage may vary. Go have to come up with some sort of special celebration content for 100 and
[57:30] Mike: Yeah, fair point.
[57:45] Mike: That's right.
[57:46] Keith: Now comes your weekly solicitation to provide us feedback. We pay $10 for any feedback re receivedipts so to your worst and let us have it. You can reach us at Ymmvpod on Twitter or at ymmvpod@gmail.com that's also a good place to ask us questions you can do that privately. Ah, just say so or if you would like us to talk about it on the show we can do that too. Thanks for giving us a listen. Oh yeah, go ahead. Mike.
[58:10] Mike: Yeah, know people should also subscribe because it helps us with on Apple at least it helps surprisingly much on the ah search rankings. For example, if you search on Apple Podcast Keith Sex keith sex number 2 right now. We'd like to be number 1 ah and there's there's a lot of other terms like that we we do very well for a whole bunch of terms including just sex by itself. But but your subscription even if you don't listen every week actually helps a lot with that so that's my plug.
[58:26] Keith: Yeah, ah.
[58:38] Keith: Yeah, if you want my family to find out about this podcast the surest way to do that is to juice the algorithms.
[58:45] Mike: But Keith sex modest penis. Let's try that? yeah.
[58:51] Keith: Thankss are giving us a listen and we hope to catch you next week on your Bilch Bay barrry.